I swear
by MissZenno
Summary: Kurt is sent to Dalton Reform School for Boys after he commits a horrific crime. He expects the uniforms, the strict teachers, the counselling, but he doesn't expect the endearing group of criminal teenagers to take him under their wing.
1. Seeing Color

**A/N First story here :| AU  
>Sorry if I totally mess anything up or contradict myself.<br>Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**

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><p>"Dad. It's me – um, it's Kurt. <em>Again<em>… So…" Kurt trailed off when a phone rang in the distance.

"Hey! Andrews!" A gruff-sounding man shouted after the phone was picked up. Kurt glanced nervously around the small room quickly and bit the inside of his cheek, hearing footsteps approaching. As a man carrying a small collection of folders walked by, he pressed himself up closer against the wall where the dirty phone was attached to let him pass by.

"Um… Anyway, I guess later today is when they're taking me to move into that new school." Even though he knew his father couldn't seem him over the phone, Kurt forced a small sad smile. "Maybe you could stop by and threaten my new roommate." He giggled softly. Remembering he wasn't going to get a response, he continued, "Remember when you said you would scare the first boy I moved in with, with your shotgun?" He paused for a moment, the already-forced smile falling off his delicate features. He was sure his father didn't picture the first boy he moved in with to be a roommate at the court-assigned reform school used to house teen delinquents when he had promised Kurt that over a year ago. He cleared his throat briefly and forced another smile.

"Um, anyway. You don't _have_ to come. They said you could come help me move my stuff in, though. Or whatever…" A tap on the shoulder startled him and he jumped and turned his head around so quickly he was sure he'd gotten whiplash. The guard raised an eyebrow at his response, then tapped her wrist, indicating his time was up. He turned sharply back towards the phone and began talking quickly, "B-b-but if you're busy or something, maybe you could send Finn up with my stuff at some point. If he has the time. So call me back. Or – I mean – call here, or something, if you need to get a hold of me. I think I'm getting my cellphone back today though. I'm not sure actually-"

The guard cleared her throat loudly behind him. Kurt took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down from his rambling.

"So yeah, try to let me know if someone's coming up to meet me. Bye Dad." He inhaled shakily and took a moment to compose himself before turning to face the guard, his best mask already in place. He raised his chin haughtily and looked at the phone in his hands pointedly and then raised his eyes back to the guard.

The middle-aged woman sighed tiredly and took the phone from his handcuffed hands and hung it up, the young boy unable to reach the awkward angle of the receiver himself with his hands shackled.

Without speaking a word, the guard stalked off, pulling Kurt by the elbow, back down into the dimly lit halls and to his holding cell. She unlocked his handcuffs without making eye contact and closed the cell door swiftly, causing a resounding _clank!_ to echo throughout the area. Kurt took a step back and watched as the woman turned on her heel and walked away. He blinked a few times.

_Is somebody going to tell me what exactly's going on…? Do I just wait here or…? _ Kurt leaned forward to look down each end of the corridor, searching for someone to come tell him what time he was supposedly being taken to this _reform_ school and by whom. And did he get his possessions back?

Sighing, he rolled his eyes and turned around. He eyed the small, filthy room and the bed pushed up against one of the walls. Letting out another sigh, he walked slowly towards it and stared at it for a long moment, blinking, and realizing just how unsanitary it was. "My mother would be so angry if she knew I was forced to sleep on this for the past three months." He thought out loud.

For a second, he felt embarrassed that the neighboring cell dwellers might have overheard him talking to himself, but then he realized, _I'm in a juvenile holding cell. Why would I care whether or not these people think I'm crazy?_

He sat gingerly on the bed and wiped one hand down his face and felt the greasy buildup. Shuttering, he pulled his hand away and inspected the shiny residue on his fingers and palm. He'd refrained looking in the dull plastic mirror as much as possible since he'd arrived here, knowing what a mess his skin and hair must be. _At least at that school, I'll have a real mirror and be able to take care of myself again… Right?_

He realized after a second that he had no idea what this _Dalton Reform School for Boys_ was actually like. Was it like _this place_ only he was able to go to classes? No, surely not. There was no way they handcuffed the students outside of their cells… _rooms – _he corrected himself – _outside of their rooms._ After all, the reason they were letting him go there was because they determined he wasn't a threat to others, right? The only reason they still handcuffed him _here_ and kept him in a cell _here_ was because it was regulation, right...? Right? In no way had he been cleared, but the judge understood the situation and seemed to pity him… But what _was_ this reform school going to be like exactly?

He would soon find out.

* * *

><p>Three and a half hours later found Kurt sitting numbly in the passenger seat of a government car, staring blankly out the window at the trails of water running down it from the rain. The young boy ran his finger along the glass where, on the other side, a large drop of water was making its way down, and lazily followed the path the droplet made. He distantly acknowledged the driver was talking, but something he said caught his attention. "What?"<p>

"Hmm?" The man glanced quickly to Kurt before turning his eyes back to the road.

"What did you just say?"

"Oh. I said there's also a soccer team that has access to the field outside the-"

"No, no, before that. There's a singing group?" Kurt asked, raising his eyebrow in disbelief. Surely he had heard wrong.

The man – Nathan or Nathaniel, or… or _Neil _or something – blinked a few times, as if trying to read back in his head what he had just told the boy, before realization dawned on his face. "Oh, yes. Right. The – um – Warblets or so I believe they're called. They're a show choir that is sometimes able to participate in competitions. Like I said before, they qualify as one of the options for your required extracurricular." He turned his attention back to driving; trying to navigate in the nasty weather and silence filled the car. "You – uh… Do you sing?"

Kurt thought for a second before responding. Did he sing? He was in his glee club at McKinley, sure. And he sang with his friends all the time.

_Sang._ As in,_ the past tense._

"I used to."

They pulled into the entrance and had to be let into the gate. The school was enormous. Oh, and completely _breathtaking._ If it weren't for the security guards at the building's main front gate and the barbed wire fencing that encompassed the entire school grounds, one could pretend they were attending a muggle-version of Hogwarts and not a behavioral school in Ohio.

Nick, or Norton, or whatever, cut the engine and Kurt looked forward and saw some faculty-looking people waiting inside the glass doors, seeming to be anticipating his arrival. Regardless of the steady rain coming down, the grounds were scattered with boys in matching clothes, all sneaking glances at the unfamiliar car.

* * *

><p>"B, do you need my bro to pick up more of those things for you this weekend?" David eyed the dark-haired boy's shaking hands, fumbling as he tried to get a match to catch spark as he dragged it clumsily against the striking surface, with a questioning gaze and a raised eyebrow.<p>

Blaine's match finally caught fire and he brought it up to the cigarette he held between his lips, eyes fluttering shut as he sucked in short, desperate breaths, shielding the stick with his hand from the wind until it lit properly. He took in a long drag and the tension he held in his shoulders easing up slightly.

"Yes. Yes, oh god, yes." He breathed, letting the smoke leave his lips before he stuck the pack of matches into his shoe and dug his wallet out, looking contemplative before pulling out a few bills and passing them to David, who raised his eyebrows in surprise, eyeing the money inquisitively.

"Um, Blaine,"

"I know, I know. Can he get me like, I don't know, 15 maybe?"

"You know he's coming back again next weekend-"

"Yes, I know."

"…You're up to two packs a day?" David whistled lowly and pocketed the cash. "You got it bad, B."

They were joined by a slightly out of breath and soggy Wes, whose face flickered with jealousy before turning into a look of disgust, as he slid down the wall of the abandoned Arts Building, shielded under the ledge of the roof from the rain.

"How was _le Français, monsieur Wesley_?" David smiled sheepishly, using a terrible fake accent and shoulder-bumping Blaine with a look of amusement.

Wes opened his mouth to make a snarky remark as David lit his own cigarette and Blaine lit a second, crushing the first butt under hit foot.

"Okay, can you seriously _not_ do that around me? It's making me crave like a fucking bitch and I'm too poor to smoke." The two boys snickered and continued taking drags. In response, Wes stood and took the sticks out of each boy's hands, ignoring their protests and resumed throwing them on the ground. "Besides, the lunch bell rang and if you two had actually been at the nurse's, you would have heard it. So let's go, it's starting to rain harder anyway."

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed. He stepped out into the weather, not caring when his hair soon flopped wetly down onto his forehead, or when his uncharacteristically messy clothes clung to his body from the rain, and made his way to the main office door ahead where the people seemed to be waiting. He was followed shortly by… Nelson? who was carrying Kurt's practically empty duffle bag and had shielded himself underneath an umbrella. He opened the door for Kurt and himself and they both stepped inside. Kurt stared blankly as they were approached by a tall, skinny bald man who looked unhappy and a woman with a big, fake smile and too much makeup. Her red hair was in a tight bun and her gray pantsuit was much too tight for her round figure.<p>

"Hello! My name is Victoria Burton and I am the Head Junior Counselor and here is…"

Kurt lost interest in what she was saying and drowned out her words. He was more focused on the rather large groups of uniform-clad boys that were beginning to gather around the hallways and stare at him with a surprising amount of interest. He felt slightly uneasy. He sucked in a deep breath and tilted his chin up, facing back to the adults in front of him, who still seemed to be talking about things that didn't require his participation. He absentmindedly pulled his hand through his hair that was sopping wet from the rain.

* * *

><p>"Okay, seriously, what's going on?" Wes questioned, seeing yet another group of students file past them quickly with an excited energy.<p>

Blaine took an eager look around the corner they turned, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever was happening, but then cleared his throat and tilted his chin up as they walked past a group of intense-looking students. A few glares were shared between the enemy groups and Blaine put on his best smug smile and shrugged.

"I heard someone say something about a new kid or something," David offered, hoping to be out of earshot of the other students. Blaine blinked a few times curiously, but then raised his eyebrow, putting his badass façade back in place.

"Fuck if I care." Blaine responded, trying his hardest to sound casual.

"Bet you do care, faggot." The three boys froze in place, mentally debating whether to get away as fast as possible, or to kick some ass, and trying to determine quickly if they could take these guys. "Saw the new kid. Looks like more of a queer than you, Anderson. Maybe you two could, ya know, fly off to fucking fairyland together. " Snickers followed and Wes and David glanced at their curly-haired friend, seeing his annoyed, irate expression turn into a small smile.

Blaine turned quickly, facing the one speaking to him. Lawrence Bright. _Renny_.

"_HAH!_ Yeah… fairyland, no – yeah, that's fucking hilarious," he nodded slowly, taking a few steps until he was face to face with the tall, gangly, red-haired, teen, the tension between them thick enough to cut with a knife. Blaine nodded again, forced smiling dropping off his face as hazel met green in a deadly gaze. "Yeah, _fucking hilarious!_"

He lunged at the taller boy, taking his neck between his hands and knocking him down onto the floor, and landing on top of him. Blaine got one good punch at Renny's jaw before being yanked aggressively off of him by David. He shot an incredulous look at his friend until seeing that Renny's friends, too, had pulled him up and were standing still with looks of false innocence as a teacher walked by, giving them no notice.

A menacing look was shared between the two groups and they walked off in different directions.

Wes nudged both his friends as they turned a corner, gesturing vaguely in front of him. They all looked up to meet a pair of dizzying blue eyes that looked like they hadn't had the chance to rest properly in days. The boy they belonged to was paler than a sheet and had wet, chestnut brown hair falling over his forehead messily.

Blaine stared at him stupidly, feeling a small smile play onto his face. _He's beautiful._ He was nothing like the other guys he'd been with, no; he was much more soft-looking, more fragile. When Blaine was with other boys, he'd convince himself they were attractive enough, that he liked them. But _this_ boy, the boy that now caught him practically drooling as their eyes met, sparked something Blaine had never felt before. "Cute," he breathed, not taking his eyes off the slender, pale boy.

"Bet you'd be okay with that little twink breaking your dry spell." David whispered lewdly, causing Blaine's smile to twitch upwards slightly. He hummed in agreement, trying to catch a better view.

* * *

><p>Behind Victoria, Kurt noticed a particular group of boys head in and each one of them stopped as they noticed his presence. He stared at them dumbly as they smirked and gave each other mischievous looks. Kurt took particular interest in the boy center of the group. He had dark curly hair and light tanned skin. Kurt caught his gaze and held it for a moment, taking in the color of his eyes. Even from a distance, he could appreciate their warm hazel-green quality.<p>

The boy was positively breathtaking.

Deep down, in some relatively stable part of his brain, Kurt knew this boy was most likely straight, and that he was in a reform school, meaning he was not the kind of kid he should take interest in. If the way his formal uniform tie was hanging loosely around his neck and his dress slacks were hanging low on his hips weren't enough proof that he was trademark _bad boy_, the self-righteous smile and shiny piece of metal adorning his eyebrow would have tipped him off.

Sure, one part of him was recognizing the fact that he couldn't let himself fall for this kid, but most of him was relishing in the fact that it felt as though he was seeing color for the first time after spending his entire life in black and white.

_I feel like I'm flying._

Kurt blushed faintly, noticing the smile on the boy's face growing slightly when the dark-skinned boy next to him said something that he, himself didn't hear. An Asian boy nudged the two students with his elbow and motioned for them all to continue walking down a particular path they had been on before noticing the new arrival and out of Kurt's sight.

* * *

><p>"Seriously though B, when's the last time you got any?" David smiled knowingly and when Blaine didn't respond, he shared a look with Wes over the shorter boy's head. Blaine saw this exchanged and looked forward, blinking rapidly.<p>

"W-well, I mean, sometimes I hook up with Jeremiah-"

"Nope. No, he doesn't count." David said as they stepped through the doors of the cafeteria, stepping forward to type his meal number into the small machine near the door.

"_What?_ He counts!"

"Nope. You bang him for drugs."

Blaine rolled his eyes and sighed as he took his tray and scanned the room before his eyes settled on a table near the center of the room that contained Jeff, Nick and Trent already eating. He began making his way there and mumbled something under his breath that sounded like, 'Then do any of them _really_ count?'

* * *

><p>"Kurt?" The young boy looked up and saw that the Nate guy was smiling kindly but unsurely at him.<p>

"W-what?"

"… I just said I hope you settle in. I'm heading out." He nodded and when Kurt gave no response, he patted Kurt on the shoulder. The young boy flinched back and sharply inhaled a breath of air. The man squinted his eyes at him questioningly, but soon opened his umbrella and walked through the door they came in. Kurt blinked and stared at the place he left and watched the car slowly pull out of its parking place and drive into the stormy weather.

"So… Kurt, because it's your first day here, you don't have to go to any classes. And it's Friday so you'll have the weekend to settle in. We do have group every day, including weekends, but you can start academic classes on Monday. How does that sound?"

Kurt looked around the room. There were some office administration workers behind the front desk and a few were helping students. He noticed the man that had accompanied Victoria was walking away with his duffle bag, most likely to take it to his dorm. Realizing he was being talked to, he nodded slowly, not drawing his eyes back to the woman.

"Um, alright then! Well, it's lunch right now and all meals are mandatory attendance so make sure you check in with your meal number and stay there until you're released. Here's your schedule, meal number, and room assignment. Oh, and group today is directly after lunch. This is your group number."

He was handed a small assortment of papers, and without even glancing at them, he folded them and stuck them in his pocket. And once again, Kurt did what he found himself doing a lot of during the past three months: He stared dumbly and nodded slowly.

* * *

><p>"Ha! Yeah right. She is <em>way<em> hotter than Jenna. I'd way rather fuck her than Jenna. What do you think?" Trent turned to Wes and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"I don't know, man. She's hot and everything, but Jenna's _Asian_. And the Asian in me just seeks out other Asians. I don't know though. Blaine?" The curly-haired boy's fork stopped halfway to his mouth and he placed it back down to his tray and cocked his pierced eyebrow.

"Really? _Really,_ Wesley?" He shook his head in bemusement and picked his forked back up and resumed eating his spaghetti with a slight smirk.

"_Oooh_. Right, right. Well… I don't know… I still kinda think-"

"Shhhh! _SHHHH_!" Trent waved his hand in front of Wes's face, his eyes trained on something across the room.

The cafeteria soon hushed down and the six boys at the table all turned to face whatever the big deal was. Everyone seemed to be staring at a slight, pale boy with chestnut hair. He seemed unaware of the commotion he was causing until his eyes shifted from his food tray up to the population of the cafeteria. The small gasp that escaped his lips as his eyes met the staring gazes of the curious lunch-goers was audible and echoed slightly in the quiet room.

His look of confusion-mixed-with-shock-and-fear was soon replaced with a dangerous glare as he raised an eyebrow and lifted his chin, stalking off to an empty table near the door.

Murmurs soon erupted throughout the room and conversation began to pick up again.

"Uh… New kid?" Jeff guessed with an amused smile after the table had remained silent.

"_Uh_, more like frickin' _baby_ new kid. Did you see him? He looks 12." Nick said, stabbing his food with his fork, but not actually putting any in his mouth.

Blaine looked embarrassed, remembering his admitting he thought the boy was attractive. Wes and David snickered.

"Oh, come now, Nicholas. Some people like them that way." David spoke, looking at Blaine the whole time he said it.

The curly-haired boy fought off his blush and shrugged. "Besides, aren't the little innocent ones always the freakin' crazy dangerous ones?"

"I don't know though. He _seriously _looked way too young and good to end up here." Nick took a sip of water, and then put it down quickly as his eyes widened. "Oh! Maybe he's like a prostitute, right? Like young guy prostitutes usually try to look like little kids, right?" He asked excitedly, leaning forward and looking from person to person, trying to get someone to agree with his logic.

Instead, no one responded, still deep in thought, though pondering what he had suggested. Trent made a hum of thought and swallowed the bite of food he had.

"Do you think that's the guy that's supposed to be rooming with Thad?"

"What about Thad?" The boy in question approached the table, but instead of sitting down, cocked his head to the side in question.

"Oh. Just that the new kid over there might be your new roommate. I mean he was supposed to come this week, right? And it's Friday so it has to be him. I doubt anyone else is coming." Trent gestured to the pale boy at the other end of the room with his fork before shrugging and turning his attention back to his spaghetti.

Blaine watched Thad's curious gaze as he inspected the new boy from afar. He had a bad feeling about this…

"Well let's find out!" Thad spoke suddenly, alarming the inhabitants of the table and causing them to jump.

"_How_…?" Jeff drew out the word slowly, pretty sure he already knew the answer but afraid at the same time.

Wes and David shared a look and broke out into identical, evil smirks. Blaine shifted his suspicious glance from Thad to them, eyes widening when he saw their smiles. "You guys mean…?" He trailed off, making a small gesture with his hand.

"No."

Wes and David let out small whimpers. "What? But _Thaaad._ We've been so good!" Wes stuck out his bottom lip and pouted, trying his best at puppy-dog eyes.

"I said no, you fucker. Come on, though. We should… _talk_ to him, first. We'll talk about doing that later. Maybe tomorrow night." Thad motioned for them all to follow him. With a few quick glances among each other, they stood and did just that.

A loud clatter trays landing on his table brought Kurt out of his hazy daydream. A dream where he never followed that damned jock into that locker room. He glanced up from his food and stiffened immediately. Seven sets of eyes were staring into his wide, frightened glasz ones. He recognized three of them from when he first entered the school, but the others were unfamiliar. They were all looking at him expectantly with slight smirks that made him nervous.

He raised an eyebrow and looked back down to his salad, moving around the dry lettuce on his plate.

"What's your name?" Came a harsh demanding voice.

Kurt froze. He looked up slowly again to the group of boys in uniform, noticing their smiles had vanished from their faces and were replaced with looks of expectance or confusion. He also realized he didn't know which one of them had asked the question. His eyes briefly fell over the curly-haired boy from before, but he blushed and tore his eyes away after seeing the intimidating look he was getting from said boy. He could feel his chest tightening up slowly and his body filling with adrenalin like right before he would get attacked or right before a test he wasn't prepared for.

The pale boy cleared his throat quietly and eyed the exit of the building. _They said I have to say until I'm released, didn't they?_ He glanced back to the group. _God Damnit. _Why did it seem like he couldn't spoke if he tried? Just tell them your name. All they want is your God Damned name.

"Are you a hooker?"

Kurt choked on nothing and his eyes shot up to the group that sat before him, mouth hanging open in shock.

The boys all seemed to be eyeing a particular teen with blonde fringe hanging in front of his face with different varying looks of disbelief and disappointment.

Kurt cleared his throat again and his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"…I-I – No!" The boys turned their attention towards him and he lowered his voice a little bit and narrowed his eyes in horror. "I-i-is that really the vibe I'm giving off? What I come off as? A _hooker?_" He ran his hand through his hair self-consciously and said something under his breath that sounded like 'I look eight.'

"I – well, at least he's talking?" Jeff offered with a grimace and shrugged.

"Shut the fuck up, Jeff. Listen, kid. What's your damn name?" David put his hands down on the table and eyed the boy.

"Kurt Hummel." He whispered tentatively. He noticed the curly-haired boy's lips twitch up in a small arrogant smile.

"Alright. I'm David. This is Wes. Blaine. Nick. Trent. Thad, and you already met the idiot fucking blonde, Jeff." He stuck his thumb in the direction of the light-haired boy who glared at him. "Thad here is your roommate... _probably."_

"Probably?"

"Yeah. I mean I was supposed to get a new roommate this week and it looks like you're the only new kid here. So congrats, roomie, you gots the best fucking roommate in the school!"

Kurt nodded and poked at his untouched salad. "Yeah. Okay." Blaine smirked and raised his pierced eyebrow.

"…'Okay?'"

Kurt blinked a few times and glanced up with a blank stare. "Um, yeah. _Okay._"

Blaine looked back at his friends and they all burst out in laughter. Kurt, confused, looked up at the boys. "What?"

Trent cleared his throat of laughter looked at the pale boy. "Nothing, nothing. You might survive here, kid." He looked over Kurt for a few seconds, and pursed his lips slightly. "So what are you in for?"

Without hesitating, "What are _you_ in for?" he asked as calmly as he could.

The group shared a few looks and turned back to look at the young boy.

"Grand theft auto." Nick replied and Jeff nodded.

"Same."

"'Armed' robbery." Wes said, using air quotes and rolling his eyes. "Because I had a frickin' pocket knife in my pocket."

"Arson." Thad's lips twitched into a dangerous smile. Kurt raised an eyebrow in question but his thoughts of question were cut off.

"_Breaking and entering… and possession of stolen property._" Trent spoke in a fake British accent and sounded like he had said the line a hundred times. He snorted. "I went into my neighbor's house when they were gone and when they caught me; they raided my stuff and found I had a laptop my friend gave me that had been stolen. Didn't even steal it myself!" He let a bitter laugh escape his lips.

"Destruction of property." David shrugged, looking bored. "I guess that combined with my fake I.D. was enough to get me in here."

When the mysterious curly-haired boy kept his mouth shut, Kurt lowered his head, trying to meet the other boy's eyes. "What about you?" Blaine's head shot up. First, he had a confused look on his face, then it shifted into an amused and slightly superior look.

He pulled his left arm from under the table and pushed the sleeve up with his right. Once the shirt was past his elbow, he displayed it on the table in front of him, letting the bright cafeteria lights shine down on it. Blaine kept his eyes on the pale boy's face, watching for a reaction.

Kurt looked at the arm scattered with various black and red and brown track marks, some older than others. The newest ones seemed to be still healing, not yet scarred. He wondered how long this Blaine had been at the reform school.

"For using or did you get intent to distribute?" Kurt asked sheepishly, not taking his eyes off the boy's ruined forearm.

Blaine and Wes shared a quick look, seemingly impressed with his lack of reaction. Pushing his sleeve back down, he looked back to the young boy. "'Possession'," he used air quotes, "because they found it in my system. And intent to distribute because I had more on me and it was separated into different bags. Not that I was actually going to sell it, but that's what they say is proof." He scoffed. Once again, the teen looked to Kurt for his reaction, but found his face unreadable.

"Heroin?"

"Yep." He looked at the odd almost longing expression on the pale boy's face and tilted his head to the side curiously with a smile. "You use?" He guessed.

Kurt's mouth fell open slightly in surprise to the accusation. "No…" He paused, thoughts obviously occupying his mind as his brow furrowed. "You know, you guys seem like you don't have that much reason to be here. No offense or anything." He added the last part quickly, wondering if that kind of thing was considered an insult. "I got the idea into my head that everyone here was going to be really dangerous. Or were here for really bad stuff." _Like I am_, he added silently.

Trent shared a look with Thad and looked at Kurt. "I… Us? No, maybe we're not _too_ dangerous. But you have to understand, there are guys here that are here because of some crazy shit. Fucked up stuff like violence and rape and shit. You gotta watch out even if you think you're safe."

Kurt sucked in a quick breath. Fucked up shit like violence and rape? What would they think when-?

"So what _are_ you here for? You totally never answered our question." Jeff asked with a small smile playing at his lips.

Kurt opened his mouth to talk but no words came out. He sat, opening and closing his mouth for a few moments, trying to form some sort of acceptable response, when a loud bell rang throughout the room. Immediately, all the boys stood, seeming to lose interest in the answer altogether. He eyed their trays left on the table as the boys began to gather their bags and leave. "Wait – are you – do we leave our trays here?" He asked, feeling stupid, because obviously, yes, everyone was leaving their trays there.

Blaine stopped in his rush to leave with his friends and cocked his eyebrow and in that way that made Kurt scared and oddly turned on at the same time. He turned to face Kurt entirely and that damn smirk found its way to his lips yet again. "Oh, yeah…" He waved his hand dismissively and hoisted his messenger-style bag onto his shoulder. "So what group are you?"

"14."

"Ah." His eyes darted around the quickly emptying room before turning back to Kurt with a different kind of smile. "Come on, then," he pulled Kurt by the elbow and motioned with his other hand towards the nearest exit.

"You're in that one, too?"

"No." He continued pulling Kurt along as they made their way to the door. Kurt narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but was cut off before he could voice his question. "Trent! TRENT!"

The boy in questioned turned to face them, a smile rising to his lips as he took in the two of them together. "Hmm?"

"He – Kurt – uh, Kurt's in _14_," he put special emphasis on the last word. "So make that's not the case anymore." Blaine shoved Kurt in Trent's direction where he was grabbed roughly by the arm by the meaty, blonde-spikey-haired boy.

Trent smiled mischievously and nodded. Blaine took one last look at Kurt and flashed a wicked smile before patting Trent on the shoulder and winking. He stalked off, into the blur of navy and gray.

Kurt considered questioning, _What is he talking about? What's wrong with group 14? Where are we going? What are you going to do?_ Instead, he found himself sighing and being dragged roughly by the arm in the opposite direction of the herd of students and into a small, empty corridor.

They came to a halt and he figured it was safe to ask _something_, so he opened his mouth and turned to Trent, but was soon cut off when a blinding flash of white pain shot through his face and he found himself hitting the wall behind him, resulting in a loud _thwack!_ as his head hit the wall.

All he saw was black, but he didn't faint.

* * *

><p>Next he was being dragged to his feet and led again, but this time somehow more gently. He vaguely recognized someone was talking, but didn't really hear who it was or what they were saying.<p>

He blinked back the stinging tears and the room before him started to come into focus. Just as he found himself aware of his surroundings, he was directed into a large classroom, filled with about 15 or so students sitting in a circle of chairs, like the group therapy sessions he'd seen on T.V. countless times.

"Ms. Webber," Trent was still beside him, holding onto his upper arm tentatively, speaking to the lady who sat on one chair in the circle. The lady looked up and approached them cautiously. "I found this kid all fu – messed up in the hallway over by the English wing on my way here. He's not in uniform, though. I don't know if he even goes here."

He felt himself being pushed slightly towards the teacher and Trent released him, going to take a seat in the circle.

Kurt was staring blankly at the woman in front of him with her short black hair cut in a bob, and her thin, pointed face staring at him curiously. She pursed her lips slightly and removed the thin wire-frame glasses from her face.

"_Well? Do_ you go here?" Her voice was sharp and impatient.

Kurt blinked a few times and looked at the faces of the boys in the room. Shocked, he met the gazes of none other than Trent, David, Wes, Blaine, Jeff, Nick and Thad. _What the hell is going on?_ They all looked at him with expressionless faces, mirroring the looks of the seven or eight students in the room he didn't recognize.

"Young man?"

He snapped out of his confused thoughts and brought his attention back to the woman in front of him.

"I-I…Y-yes." He insisted desperately, wincing at the needy tone of his voice, his thoughts still too confused to elaborate.

The woman didn't look convinced. "Do any of you know this boy?" She questioned tiredly, making a sweeping gesture across the room to the rest of the students there.

A collective murmur of 'no's and 'mm-mm's sounded throughout the room, even coming from the boys Kurt knew. His eyes widened, still thoroughly puzzled.

"But…" Kurt began frantically, his arms coming up instinctively to circle around himself.

"Wait, yeah. He's that new kid that was here before lunch," one of the ones Kurt didn't know mumbled, not taking his eyes off the teacher as he chewed on his thumb nail. "Who jumped him?" The boy turned his eyes toward Trent, who cleared his throat and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

"He said he didn't see who did it, but I saw Renny guys running from that way right before. Besides, you know how Renny and Chuck and them are with guys like him." Trent ran a hand through his short, spikey hair and leaned back.

Kurt continued his blank, bewildered expression.

"Renny? Lawrence Bright?" The woman asked for confirmation. The boys nodded. "Well, alright, but we don't have any proof that was the case, so. Besides, it's 1:45 and, um, I'm sorry what was your name, young man?"

"…Kurt."

"And Kurt here needs to be in group. What's your group number, Kurt?"

"I, um-" he considered for a moment simply running away and out the door, because his group number was what got him into all of this is the first place, but he instantly realized that was ridiculous.

He licked his lips and gasped as he recognized the dirty, coppery taste of blood. He looked down and saw specks of blood on his white V-neck and even a couple drops on the floor. He brought his hand up to his mouth where the pain was coming from and cringed as he felt a sharp sting and a cut on his lip. Pulling away his hand, he inspected a surprising amount of blood and then remembered he was answering a question.

"Uh…14." He responded, still staring in shocked horror at the blood on his fingers and palm.

"Yes, alright, well-"

"No, Ms. Webber! That's Renny's group. He'll kill him. He's a total homophobe. He already fucked him up." Blaine spoke argumentatively, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair.

Kurt paled. _Is it that obvious that I'm gay…? Was this all some weird plan to…to…__protect__ me?_

Ms. Webber sighed. "Look, as I said before, there really isn't any proof that Mr. Bright was involved in-"

"The fuck he wasn't involved!" Wes exclaimed, standing abruptly from his chair, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

"_Language,_ Mr. Montgomery! And sit down!" The Asian boy did as he was told. The woman sighed. "But yes, I understand your concerns… I _suppose_ I could transfer him to my gr-"

She was interrupted by a chorus of 'yes's and exaggerated relieved sighing.

Ms. Webber rolled her eyes. "Right. Very well. Mr., uh, _Kurt_," she turned to the boy. "Please take a seat and I'll be back. I need to speak with Mr. Talley." She placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder and nodded before walking out the door Kurt had come in and closing it behind her.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Kurt was surrounded by a group of slightly panic-expression ridden boys.

"Are you alright, man?"

"Sorry about that, bro."

"Damn, you're bleedin' pretty bad."

Kurt took a step back and looked at the faces in front of him. David, Wes, _Trent_, the others he knew. The boys that remained sitting stared up at the interaction with matching quizzical expressions.

Blaine approached him with a handful of tissues and began pressing it against his face, causing Kurt to flinch away and suck in a sharp breath.

Blaine raised his damn pierced eyebrow, but looked slightly concerned. "Er, sorry. Here. Just fucking…hold still." His eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as he hesitantly reached forward to hold Kurt's jaw in his hand and very carefully started dabbing his lip and mouth. Kurt froze, never having experienced such a gentle touch like this is such a long time, let alone from a boy. "Jesus Trent, what the fuck?" Blaine muttered annoyingly as he continued wiping the young boy's face, eyeing the amount of blood on the tissues.

Trent, who was standing at a slight distance with the other group of standing boys, rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Yeah, man, sorry about that. I wasn't aiming for your-"

"YEAH, _TRENT,_ WHAT THE _FUCK_?" Kurt exclaimed suddenly, stepping to the side, away from the curly-haired boy to get a view at the large teen. "You could have _told _me you were planning some weird shit to get me into your group or something!" He narrowed his eyes, but remained in place as Blaine resumed his cleaning, now putting a slight amount of pressure, attempting to remove the dried blood from where it had run down his neck. No one seemed particularly fazed by his outburst, though Wes turned to Trent with a cocked eyebrow.

"You didn't _tell_ him?"

"No! I mean, yeah! I told him! But… after… And I don't think he really heard me because he was all freaked out and bloody and shit. I guess I should think these things through better."

Blaine scoffed from where he was looking intently at a very blushing Kurt, turning his jaw with his hand and inspecting his lip closely. Seemingly satisfied, he pulled away and balled up the bloodied tissues and threw them in a nearby trash bin. "Well, Kurt, your lip doesn't need stitches. And Trent," he turned towards the boy in question as he made his way back to his seat with the other standing students. "Learn something new every day." He let out a low chuckle and Kurt was sure he'd never heard anything more beautiful in his life.

Beautiful and…arousing. _How can something make you breathless in awe and make your dick twitch in horniness at the same time? In fact, how could __anything__ make him so horny so easily-?_

"Hummel?" Kurt snapped his head up at his name and saw Jeff patting an empty seat between him and David with an almost knowing smile on his face.

Kurt swallowed, took a few slow, long strides, and sat down gingerly on the wooden chair, realizing everyone was staring at him expectantly.

"So you _are_ gay, aren't you? We didn't just risk getting our asses maimed for a total hetero did we?" Thad questioned, crossing his arms over his chest, but there was a smile on his face.

"N-no…I'm…gay." Kurt whispered, even though he knew everyone could hear him. His eyes raked over the other occupants of the room, who seemed to be giving him mild interest, but there were no negative responses to his confession. Then that chuckle that made Kurt's heart stop sounded throughout the room again.

"Don't look so scared. We're not the ones you want to hide your sexuality from." Blaine said sincerely, running a hand through his still slightly damp curls.

"Yeah, we don't give a shit if you like gettin' it on with guys. But seriously, we weren't fucking around. Renny and his goons might not have been the one to split your lip this time, but they will _not_ hesitate to fuck you up. Consider this very minor compared to what would happen if you had to share a classroom with that guy everyday. I mean, Lawrence is in here because him and his friends bashed in some gay guy's head." Nick looked at Kurt seriously.

Kurt's eyes widened. "He…killed someone?"

"What? No! They'd send you to fucking jail if you killed someone. Fucked him up pretty good though. But really, stay away from that guy. We'll point him out to you next time we see him." David gave him a pat on the arm that he willed himself not to jerk away from and a small reassuring smile.

"Well…I guess…thank you, for…" Kurt smiled and let out a small laugh. "…For punching me in the face, then."

The boys broke out into small bursts of chuckles and nodded, silently saying 'you're welcome.'

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Ms. Webber came back into the room, claiming a certain Mr. Bright denied all violent acts involving the new, young student, but was still able to transfer Kurt into her group therapy class.<p>

"So Mr. Hummel, let's start with you, then. Share something about yourself."

"…What do you want to know?"

"How about you tell us how you got here?" The woman offered gently.

"Well… To be completely honest, I'm not sure I remember." Kurt stared with a blank expression at the woman who raised an eyebrow in question. "I mean I got punched in the face and then next thing I know I'm standing here next to some blonde guy. I don't actually know the way, I just kind of followed him." He let a small smirk curl on his injured lips.

Across the room from him, a student with shaggy brown hair brought his fist to his mouth to cover his smile. Someone in the room coughed exaggeratedly. Ms. Webber cleared her throat and removed her glasses. Kurt's smile fell.

"Let me rephrase that more clearly, then. Why don't you tell us what brought you to Dalto-?"

"No."

Silence. A few of the boys traded glances and the teacher blinked a few times.

"Excuse me?"

"Absolutely not. No, that is not something anyone here has any business knowing." He raised his chin haughtily and crossed his legs, turning his head to face away from the teacher.

"What? Dude! We totally told you what we were in for!" Jeff whined, leaning forward in his chair towards the young boy. Kurt snuck a glance at the blonde boy and sighed.

"Don't call me 'Dude.'" He replied automatically, forgetting the kind of people he was surrounded by. Luckily, a few disgruntled huffs were all he got in response. He heard the rustling of papers and he turned his eyes towards Ms. Webber. She was opening a manila folder and flipping through the contents before stopping on one and squinting down at it.

"What are you doing?"

She glanced up at him and shrugged her shoulders. "I have your records Mr. Hummel, and am at liberty to discuss them. There are no privacy privileges here. We're a _reform school_, Mr. Hummel, not a summer fun camp."

He glanced around nervously as she continued to look at the open page. She skimmed along with her pointer finger before reaching something that made her hand flinch back as though the paper burned her. She shot a quick glance back up at Kurt and closed the file.

Thick silence filled the room.

Someone coughed purposely again and the teacher opened her mouth, looking ready to say something, but Kurt cut her off.

"It was out of self-defense, I swear." All eyes turned to him as he spoke guiltily, like a child trying to convince his mother.

Both of Blaine's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. "_What…_was out of self-?"

"Voluntary manslaughter." Ms. Webber spoke softly but firmly, folding her hands together on her lap in front of her and cocking an eyebrow at the young boy, as if daring him to argue or deny her words.

If the circumstances were different, Kurt would have found the identical eyes widening and jaws dropping of each of the boys before him comical. A sick part of his brain actually felt proud to have freaked out a bunch of juvenile delinquents, but even that wasn't enough to keep the sick, dizzying nausea to rise in his stomach as he thought of that day… As he thought of the knife, and the blood…

Before he knew what was happening, he found himself hunched over the trash bin on the far end of the room, heaving and choking onto his bloody tissues from earlier. After his stomach was out of contents to rid itself of, he spit the remaining bile from his mouth and kept his head down, squeezing his eyes shut.

This was going to be a long day.


	2. Secret Ingredient

**A/N Thank you all for the reviews/favorites and such !  
>People seem to like dangerous Kurt xD Well, here's another chapter. Hope I don't disappoint! Sorry its kinda short, next will be longer!<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

* * *

><p>"And we're sure it wasn't <em>actually<em> in self-defense, right?" David asked, feeling around in his jacket pocket, eventually pulling out a small pack of matches. "I mean, that was total B.S.?"

"Of course it was _B.S._, _David._" Wes replied bitterly, brushing a piece of damp hair out of his face and eyeing the cigarettes in the hands of the boys with narrowed eyes. "Otherwise, he wouldn't be here, obviously."

"But if it wasn't true at all, wouldn't he, like, go to jail? I mean, voluntary manslaughter, that's like practically murder, right?" Trent mused absently, unscrewing the cap to his water bottle and taking a small sip, his eyebrows furrowing in thought.

"Maybe he killed someone drunk driving? That's considered manslaughter, I think." Jeff suggested, flicking the butt of his cigarette onto the ground and sliding down the wall of the Arts Building next to Wes.

"No, no. That's completely different. That's _vehicular manslaughter_, and besides, how could that possibly be out of self-defense?" Wes rolled his eyes, throwing a small stone out into a puddle created by the stormy weather.

Nick snickered, picking at his thumbnail. "U-unless it was like…some c_razy_ car-battle," he giggled to himself. "And, and, the guy in the other car was trying to kill him with _his_ car and the only way to defend himself was to kill _him_ with _his_ car. And Kurt was, like, _totally_ hammered, so everyone thought it was an accident." He nodded, clearly amused with his own story.

Jeff patted him on the shoulder and gave him a small, fond smile. "Yes, you're right. I'm almost positive that's what happened, Nick."

"Or – or – unless, he, like, was attacked by someone he was supposed to be screwing for money, and then_ fucked_ them to death in self-defense."

Everyone turned slowly towards Nick, who was smiling to himself.

"Nick… You _do_ realize that makes absolutely no fucking sense at all..." Trent said, his eyebrows raised, looking at the dark-haired boy cautiously. Nick opened his mouth as though to argue his logic, then sighed and shook his head.

"No – I – Yeah, I know… I guess I'm just really disappointed he's not a prostitute." He said admitted with a defeated sigh, shaking his head slowly with closed eyes.

Before anyone could question the boy, they were joined by a sopping wet Blaine and Thad, slightly out of breath from jogging through the weather.

"_Regardless_," Thad spoke to Blaine, obviously continuing a conversation from earlier, and snatched the cigarette out of the curly-haired boy's hand and lit it for himself, taking a few quick puffs. "He still _killed_ someone, and while that certainly doesn't make for an ideal roommate, I give him props. And he seems like a cool enough guy to have around." He leaned against the wall and stuck his empty hand in the pocket of his jeans, still facing Blaine.

"You guys talking about Hummel?" David questioned the two boys who nodded in answer. "So… You don't think he's dangerous?"

Thad considered this for a moment, offering his lighter to Blaine, who had taken a second cigarette out to replace the one the other boy had stolen. He shrugged and then shook his head slightly. "No, I mean, he's here and not in jail for a reason, right? Yeah, he may be on the…" He trailed off, making a vague gesture with his hand as he tried to search for the correct word. "…_higher end_…of the danger scale, b-but," he shook his head in thought. "Kid's still just one of us." He took a long drag of his cigarette, looking out into the rain. "And I _don't_ regret helping him out yesterday." He added, turning to face the others.

He blinked for a few seconds, a smirk suddenly appearing on his lips as shifted to face the boys fully. "Boy's fucking _weird_, though." He laughed.

Jeff smiled shyly. "Oh?" He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his folded arms on them, turning to Thad and raising a curious eyebrow. "How was the first night sleeping with him?"

"Well if you could even call it that. Neither of us did much sleeping..." He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"…"

"Not like that."

"…"

"…It's just he was up all night and kept going in the bathroom every five fucking minutes, and the only time he slept he was making these weird-ass noises. And he got all pissed when I tried to go near any of his stuff. Oh! And then he left the room at like 3 a.m.! And I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going to wake up with my limbs strapped down to my bed and him standing over me with torture weapons-"

"_Kinky._"

"_Not_ like that, Jeff!"

Blaine cough-laughed, breaking the amused, awkward silence. "So… Guys… Thad said we could do the thing tonight." His lips twitched up into a crooked smile.

"What! Really, Thad?"

"Yep. I got it all set up. We need to get Kurt to come here at, like, 6 tonight, though. Blaine, do you think you can handle getting him to come?" Thad turned towards the shorter boy who was stomping out his cigarette butt and lighting a second one.

"Um," the boy in question stuck the newly lit smoke between his lips and pulled out a beat-up looking pocket watch, looking contemplative before responding. "…Actually, I have to do something after lunch, so…" He shrugged, looking slightly guilty. When one of the boys sighed knowingly, he quickly pulled the cigarette away from his lips and blew the smoke out sharply. "B-b-but I can do it after. Yeah, I can do it. I mean the thing after lunch won't take long anyway." He nodded, trying to assure the other boys, who just stared at him with unreadable expressions.

The sound of the rain drowned out the silence between the boys. Eventually, one of them coughed, breaking it.

"Yeah, well, whatever," Thad sighed and flicked his cigarette butt onto the cement ground and turned to the boys. "But yeah, 6… David," he turned to the dark-skinned boy who raised an eyebrow in response. "It's, like, 10:30 now. Can I come with you when Trevor gets here? I wanna pick up the stuff I bought from him for tonight."

David seemed slightly dazed, but nodded. "Uh, yeah, sure. I guess we should go now, then. His visit is set up to be in my room, so, yeah." He jerked his head in the direction of the dorm buildings and stepped away from where he had been leaning against the wall. Thad followed him and they exited the shelter of the building's roof ledge and onto the muddy field, into the rain.

* * *

><p>Kurt sat on the edge of his bed, fighting the urge to drift off to sleep. He jerked awake again, almost having fallen over the edge of his subconscious. His mind was muddy and bleak as he dragged himself into the attached bathroom of his dorm and stared into the mirror. He was even paler than usual, the dark rings under his eyes and the bruise around his mouth even more noticeable.<p>

He sighed and spun around, leaning his back up against the counter and letting his eyes flutter shut.

Snippets of the day before flooded past his eyes as they closed.

Staring out the window of the government car. Seeing Blaine across the room for the first time. Staring back at the millions of eyes in the cafeteria. Meeting the group of boys. Following Trent. Gazing at his own blood dripping onto the ground. Looking at the shocked faces. Staring into the trashcan at his own vomit. Staying silent for the rest of the group class. Seeing his room for the first time and talking to Thad.

_"So… you really kill someone, then?" The boy asked with a strange combination of amusement and curiosity in his voice, looking up from his book where he lay reading it on his bed._

_Kurt huffed and turned away from the other boy, pulling the covers over his shoulders._

_"I'm not, like, judging you or anything. But self-defense… Really?" The boy let out mocking laugh._

_Kurt bolted upright and turned to the other boy, a hurt look on his face. "You have no idea what happened to me, and you have no idea what you're talking about. So shut the fuck up. And yes, self-defense, Thad. __Really.__" He let himself fall gently back onto the bed, facing the ceiling. _

_Thad scoffed. "Whatever, man. Like I said before, not judging." And with that, he turned back to his book, seemingly losing interest in the other boy._

_Kurt squeezed his eyes shut and immediately saw the blood, the excessive amounts of blood. He jumped out of bed and rushed into the bathroom, emptying his stomach for the second time that day. That pattern continued throughout the night every time he got even remotely close to being able to rest for a decent amount of time. _

_At 3:12 a.m., Kurt couldn't handle his mind or the shaking he felt in his body, so he rose to his feet and left the room without a word to Thad, breaking out in a jog and running, with any luck not being caught by the guards so he could continue until he, hopefully, cleared his mind._

_So much for that theory…_Kurt thought to himself as he forced his eyes open. Even with his failed attempt at tiring himself out, he still couldn't sleep. Perhaps it was the drama in group that led to his resurfacing nightmares. He shrugged it off and headed out his door towards the cafeteria. Lunch would start in ten minutes anyway, and sitting sleepily in his room didn't do anyone any good.

* * *

><p>Blaine let out a loud, panting breath and buried his face deeper into the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut as sweat rolled into them from his hairline. The man behind him grabbed desperately at his hips, trying to better angle himself. A final, incoherent string of swears left the man's lips and his thrusts became erratic and jerky, followed by a shaky breath as he shuddered and came, his body limply collapsing onto the boy in front of him.<p>

Blaine felt the weight on top of him evaporate as the breathless man rolled off him and onto his back. The curly-haired boy raised his head to see the blonde letting out short, winded breaths and cover his eyes with his forearm on the bed beside him.

His eyes flickered to the condom still covering the man's softening penis, semen dripping onto his pubic hair and waist. Blaine's gaze fell again upon the man's face where he still lay gasping for air in his post-orgasmic state.

Clearing his throat, Blaine stood and pulled on the boxer briefs from where they lay puddled on the floor. He turned back to the man, who seemed unfazed by his movements.

"Look, can you just give me what I need and go? I kind of have some stuff I need to get done." He spoke with a monotone, looking anywhere but at the familiar man in his bed.

The blonde seemed to stir at this, taking his arm from his face and glancing at the boy. "Huh? Oh, yeah, right." He sat up and took the condom off, tying it at the end and tossing it in a trashcan near the bed. Sitting up and seeing that its contents leaked onto his body, the man then grabbed a few tissues from the table next to him hastily, cleaning himself quickly and disposing of them as well.

Blaine sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at the ceiling as the man dressed quickly, not bothering with any kind of conversation.

The man fished around in his jacket pocket before coming back with a small bag of white powder. He shook the plastic, its contents collecting together in one end of the bag. "Here you are, sir." He said, offering it to Blaine with a smile.

The boy grabbed it hastily and tucked his arms back together where they were crossed over his chest. "'Kay. Thanks, Jeremiah." He breathed out tiredly, nodding and looking around the room awkwardly.

The young man took in his odd behavior and bent down slightly, trying to meet his eyes. "Not that I'm complaining, B, and I know it's not my place or anything, but I thought you were done with this stuff." Jeremiah looked at him, the expression on his face careful and hesitant.

Blaine rolled his eyes and sighed, looking at the twenty-six year old blonde with an attitude-ridden face, eyebrow cocked. "You want me to go somewhere else for this, Jer? There are _plenty_ of other guys that are willing to give me what you give me." He stared determinedly at the man, who opened his mouth to respond, then sighed and ran a hair through his long, dark blonde hair. "That's what I thought," he muttered, gesturing hastily towards the door. "Now, if you could…" He trailed off, motioning towards the door again.

Jeremiah sighed again and nodded, making his way towards the door, but stopping and turning to face Blaine before he opened it. "Just, uh, take care of yourself, you know? And don't get caught and thrown into juvie because, trust me, this place is like fucking…_Disneyland, _in comparison."

Blaine nodded, keeping his eyes on his feet and bit the inside of his cheek. Jeremiah pulled him into a short, half-hug, the younger boy not responding and keeping his arms in place, folded in front of himself.

The blonde searched the younger boy's face for a second longer, then patted him on the shoulder and walked out the door.

Blaine flopped down onto his bed, sighing as he let his head fall into his hands. He raised his head and held the small bag of white powder in front of his face, eyeing the contents intently, turning it over in his hands and trying to figure out what happened to his life.

The door flew open and Blaine let out a surprised gasp, dropping the bag to the ground. His eyes flew to the door to reveal David, looking at him with narrowed eyes. He looked over Blaine's barely-dressed form and tousled hair, and the small plastic bag on the ground.

"Having an intimate moment with your narcotics?" He smirked, taking a small step back. "Should I-?" He pointed to the hallway behind him. "I can come back later if I was interrupting something."

Blaine stared at David with a deadpan expression as the dark-skinned boy giggled slightly to himself before stepping into the room and closely the door behind him. The curly-haired boy sighed and retrieved the bag from the ground before turning to place it in a drawer next to his bed. "You scared the shit out of me, David. The concept of knocking on a door before opening it was developed for a reason."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, I got your damn bulk-sized Costco supply of cigarettes," he chucked a backpack towards Blaine, which he caught and peeked into, shaking the bag slightly, eyes raking through its contents.

"How many packs did he get me?"

"16."

"Good," he nodded, pushing the bag underneath his bed unceremoniously and picking up his discarded jeans from the floor. "Thanks."

"_Yeup_," David drew out the word absently and smiled, watching Blaine walk around his room, getting redressed. "Got your cigs to smoke, got your H to do up… Looks like you're _aaall_ set." He nodded, watching Blaine's lack of reaction, he sighed. "I thought you were off the hard stuff, Blaine." The boy froze, his shirt halfway on, and shook his head wearily, continuing to stay silent and finished pulling his black T-shirt down over his body. David cocked an eyebrow. "Well… Remember, Arts at 6 with Kurt."

At this, Blaine turned around to face him and nodded with an eager, dopey smile. "Yeah… 6."

* * *

><p>Kurt pressed his fork onto his dressing-flooded dinner salad absentmindedly, the oily, clear-brown liquid seeping through the prongs. He sat with his injured face resting in his hand, continuing this action over and over until the lettuce was wilted and bruised. He scanned the cafeteria with tired eyes. Even though it was the weekend, the very, <em>very<em> high majority of students remained on campus.

He remembered someone telling him that if you behaved well enough and had a family member call in, you could get an off-campus pass, maximum of _two_ each semester.

Like his family cared about him anymore.

"Kurt."

He idly drew his eyes up to meet the voice that called his name, though in the back of his brain – his tired, tired brain – he knew he recognized it. His bloodshot eyes locked with a pair of very hazel ones. He blinked slowly, taking in the sight before him. He pushed aside the thoughts that told him a boy with eyes as warm as his could never be dangerous, and focused on something else. The boy's pupils were curiously constricted. Drugs. That meant drugs, right? _Is it depressants that make your eyes do that…? Or stimulants? Narcotics? Damn health class…_

"Blaine, are you on depressants…or…or stimulants or what?" He asked lazily, still transfixed on the boy's pupils. Blaine's eyes widened instantly and he shot a concerned look around the room before dropping his tray on the table and taking a seat across from Kurt. The curly-haired boy scratched his neck anxiously.

"What are you talking about?"

"Your pupils are _very_ constricted and it's a little concerning…" Kurt trailed off, his eyes fluttering shut for a moment before opening again. Blaine eyed him curiously, raising his eyebrow and taking a bite of chicken.

"Kurt… Are _you_ on something?" He asked after swallowing his food. "You're acting like you're drunk, or on weed or something."

The pale boy's eyes widened and his face reddened at the question. He brought his hands up to shield his face, letting out a muffled groan. "Oh _God_, I'm sorry. I'm just so tired and _out of it_." He sheepishly drew his hands away from his face and looked at Blaine shyly, with a hint of a smile. "I totally just outright accused you of being on hard drugs, didn't I?"

Blaine let out a soft laugh, causing chills to go up Kurt's spine. "Yes. But's it's okay, because I am."

"… Wait, wha-"

"So Kurt," the boy cut him off, crossing his arms over his chest, and leaning back slightly. His gaze flickered over the split in the boy's lip and, for a moment, he appreciated the overall pink shade of the rest of his mouth. _What would they feel like? Just an innocent kiss, that's all it would take to know what they feel like._ His mind shifted to not-so-innocent kisses… And different kinds of not-so-innocent things that mouth could be used for... He cleared his throat briefly. "Thad told me you had a little trouble getting settled last night, so him and the rest of us guys wanted to throw a little party in your honor."

Kurt's mind was still fixed on the boy's earlier confession.

_So he is_ _on drugs! Ha! I knew it! …Wait, what is he saying? Did he say 'party'?_

"Did you say '_party_'?" The young boy raised an eyebrow suspiciously, propping up his arm to rest his chin on.

"Yeah, I mean, we do it for all the new guys in the group."

"Group? Like… the _group therapy,_ group…?"

"…Um, _no_… Just, like, you know, the group we hang out with?"

"…I'm _part_ of that group?" Kurt asked, wide-eyed, thinking for sure that the events of the day before had suggested differently, what with all of their _freaked out_ expressions upon finding out he was a killer, and all.

"We want you to be." And there was that deadly combination of the smirk and cocked eyebrow again. Kurt was fortunate to be sitting down, because that damn, teenage, hormonal phenomenon was taking place in his pants _again_. He could feel heat building up in his face and body and cheeks, and perhaps he was imagining it, but he swear he saw a slight shine in Blaine's eyes as he took in the pale boy's flushed features.

Just as Kurt was about to say something (most likely embarrassing or incoherent) in response, Blaine stood, his eyes trained on a table across the room. "Well, I have to talk to some people…but, yeah. I'll come by your room in, like, a half hour to pick you up, 'kay?" Without waiting for an answer, the boy stood and began walking in the direction of his usual table.

Kurt turned around to follow his path. "Uh, Blaine? My room number-"

"Yeah, I know." He called back coolly, not even turning around to face the other boy.

For a split second, Kurt wondered how on Earth the gorgeous, cocky boy knew what room he stayed in, but then he realized that Thad was his roommate, and that _Blaine_ knew _Thad._ Kurt rolled his eyes at himself. _Smooth._

* * *

><p>Blaine slumped into the seat between Wes and David, causing the former to squint his eyes threateningly as his conversation was interrupted.<p>

He cleared his throat loudly and exaggeratedly. "_ANYWAY_, as I was saying _David,_" the Asian boy spoke unnecessarily loud over Blaine's head. "The ski masks would throw off the _entire_ message we're trying to make with the unitards…"

As soon as Blaine sat, David eyed him intensely, taking in his slightly disheveled appearance, noticing the difference from when he had seen him only a few hours ago and ignoring Wes's argument.

"Hey B… What's up?"

Blaine blinked a few times, clearing his head. "Um, nothing, David…" His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tried to remember his purpose for coming to this table. "What was I…? Oh – I got Kurt to come to the party." He nodded. "But he's like, super out of it... Maybe we should go easy on him tonight."

"…That's not how it works. You _know_ that's not how it works. In fact, _you_ of _all_ people should know that's not how it works. You were the first one we did this to, after all." Thad gave Blaine an annoyed expression. "Going soft, B?"

"What? No, I just think the kid-"

"You like him or something?" Jeff interrupted with a dorky, suggestive grin. Nick shot the blonde a questioning look, but as his gaze shifted to the blushing curly-haired boy, an identical smile surfaced to his features.

"_Oooh_, Blainey Boy. Maybe you could pay him for sex!"

"…"

"We've discussed this, Nick."

"…Fuck you guys."

David smiled at the antics of his friends and turned back to Blaine. "But seriously, B, if you like this guy, we can go easy-"

"No, no, no. I was _honestly_ just concerned with his current state. But it's fine. It'll be fun… It's always fun." He smiled at the last part.

Across from him, Jeff huffed and turned his attention down to his empty tray. "_I_ don't think it's _always_ fun." He mumbled.

"Jeff, bro, when we did it to you, _you_ were the one that decided to strip off all your clothes and take those weird-ass pictures. And _you_ were the one who posted them on Facebook – _against_ our protests, might I add – and send them to your entire family." Trent paused and giggled at the memory. "That was _all_ you, man…"

Jeff continued making huffing noises, stabbing at the residue of food on his plate with his fork angrily, muttering something that sounded like 'I deleted them the next day.'

Blaine's thoughts drifted back to the quiet, pale boy. No, he absolutely did _not_ like him. Sure, maybe he wanted him for sex or as a part of his group of friends, things that he was allowed to want, but as a _boyfriend?_ No, that was positively ridiculous. Maybe had it been a year and a half ago, and had they been attending a normal school, not one designed to keep criminally-challenged teens at bay, he could have considered it, because sure, Kurt was attractive, and funny, and sparked that something in him he'd never felt before-

But no.

Those were not the circumstances. Because Blaine was different than he was when he'd first been sent here. And they _did_ attend a reform school. And at a reform school, things like _crushes_ and _relationships_ were not okay. Things as _fragile_ and _delicate_ as emotions could not be expressed openly, because they were too easily breakable.

Unspoken rules such as these were what, when Blaine applied them to himself, changed him into what he was now. What changed everyone into what they were now.

No, at Dalton Reform School for Boys, you _certainly_ did not put yourself in a position to be breakable.

Because if you were even the least bit breakable, you would be broken.

* * *

><p>Kurt sat idly gazing at a picture of his family that was taken when he was six years old.<p>

It was supposed to be a nice picture, a normal picture. The three of them were seated on the grass in the backyard, in nice clothes, on a prepared blanket. It was one of those pictures that his mother was planning to frame, to hang in the hallway next to his school portraits.

Kurt remembered the day like it was yesterday. His father complained about the semi-nice attire he was forced to wear, and Kurt, himself, had spent an hour trying to get his hair to look like it did. As they all settled down in front of the timed camera, a large butterfly flew by, right next to his mother's head.

_"Ooh! Kurt, baby, look! A butterfly!"_

Of course, the picture turned out completely wrong. His mother had a faraway, distant smile plastered on her face and her hand pointed lazily at the blur of orange next to her. Kurt had screamed when he saw the bug, and his face was captured in a horror-ridden, wide-eyed stare directed at the same orange blur. His father, seemingly unaware of the events unfolding around him, ended up with a painfully forced-looking smile, looking directly at the camera.

It was Kurt's favorite.

Naturally, the photo had been retaken, and a nice, proper version of it adorned the hallway wall, but Kurt liked this one much, much better.

He drew his finger over the creased corner, frowning slightly at the edge splitting. _I'll photo-scan this next time I get the chance, _he promised himself, placing the photo back in the drawer next to his bed, where he kept his one, recent issue of Vogue. How he had survived in jail for three months without a relatively current copy, he had no idea. He looked at the magazine fondly for a moment before closing the drawer. _That was the one good thing that came out of yesterday_, he thought dryly, remembering the stop at the coffee shop he and that Newt guy had made on their way to Dalton.

_Knock! Knock!_

Kurt's head snapped up as his door creaked open tentatively, and a slightly more composed-looking Blaine poked his head through.

"Do you – uh – Are you ready to go?" He asked after getting no greeting or acknowledgement from Kurt. The boy in question nodded slightly and rose to his feet, taking a few slow, long strides and reaching the door.

"Cool. So, I gotta stop by my room real quick, is that okay?" Blaine asked hesitantly, reading into Kurt's saddened mood. The pale boy nodded slowly and Blaine raised his pierced eyebrow in question, but resumed to shut his door and make his way to his own dorm. "'Kay..." They walked in silence and Blaine watched the boy the entire way, noticing Kurt's expressionless face and downcast eyes. "You…okay, or whatever?" Blaine threw out casually, immediately wincing internally at his shitty phrasing. It'd been so long since he'd put his bad boy attitude away, he'd almost forgotten what it was like to sound sincere.

"Yeah, you know, just, like, tired and everything."

Blaine let a small smile grace his lips. "Well, trust me, Kurt, you're about to have a fucking hell of a time."

Kurt eyed Blaine's messy sheets, noting a particular stain on one side of the bed. He raised his eyebrow curiously.

"Yeah, you can sit down or whatever. I'm just trying to find my iPod in this mess of shit." Blaine sounded from somewhere in his closet, tossing a handful of notebooks onto the floor in his searching process.

"Uh, Blaine. I think there's cum on your bed."

_Thwack!_

"_Ouch!_" The boy hit his head on the door of the closet spinning around so fast. He winced and clutched the spot, turning to Kurt.

"W-what?"

"I think you may have a bit of semen on your bed." Kurt giggled. "Actually a little bit more than a bit."

Blaine looked confused before he turned his attention to his sheets and swore under his breath, flushing a bright shade of red.

"Uh, s-sorry." He stripped the bed sheets off immediately and threw them into the corner of the room where a pile of laundry was already living.

_Stop it!_ he scolded himself. He was _not_ allowed to feel embarrassed around this boy. He was supposed to make a snarky comment about how he got laid all the time and then suggest that they hook up. That's all that was allowed, and that's all there would be between them. No matter how much he wished things could maybe be different…

Kurt looked amused, _him_ making someone blush for a change. "Don't worry about it. It happens to the best of us." Why did the thought of Kurt and anything sex-related make Blaine burn an even brighter shade of red? And how could someone blush like a schoolgirl and get so turned on at the same time?

"I-it's just I had this…_friend_ over earlier and we were-"

"Having sex?" Kurt offered, bothered only slightly. The sooner he confirmed this boy's sexuality, the sooner he could stop his internal-conflicting pining. _If he's straight – which he totally is, right? – then I don't have to even worry about falling for a stupid bad boy…_

Blaine looked stunned for a moment, before turning back around and resuming his search in his closet. "Y-yeah. Having sex... And he's just not that good at cleaning-"

"What?"

Blaine turned around, an innocent look of confusion on his face. "What?"

"Did you say '_he_'?" Kurt asked, trying, and failing to not sound surprised.

"…Yeah."

"You were having sex with a guy?"

"…_Yeah…_"

"You're…gay?"

"…_Yeeahh…_" Blaine drew out the word, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. He cocked an eyebrow at the utterly confused expression Kurt was giving him. He tilted his head slightly to the side.

"Oh." Kurt finally breathed, breaking the silence. _I shouldn't be happy. I should be upset. This just complicates things… Yes, complicates things… (YAY!)_

"…You didn't know." It wasn't a question.

"No."

"Oh."

…

"There." Kurt spoke suddenly.

"What?" Blaine blinked, trying to remember why they were in this room to begin with. He looked in the direction Kurt was pointing into his closet, but furrowed his eyebrows, still thoroughly confused. "Huh?"

"Right…_there_, the iPod." Kurt stepped closer towards the closet pointing more specifically at a spot in the back where the tiny pink corner of an object could be seen underneath a crumpled up piece of paper.

"The iPod," Blaine nodded, swallowing audibly. "Right."

* * *

><p>Kurt drained the remainder of the liquid, cringing only slightly at the bitter taste of the beer. He looked down into the excess foam left at the bottom of the plastic cup and tilted it slightly, causing the leftover drink to drift together to one side. He stared heatedly into it, as if willing it to answer all of his questions.<p>

_Why am I here?_

_Who am I?_

_When did I become the person that I am?_

_What's wrong with me?_

_Where can I go to escape this universe…?_

Sighing and accepting that he wasn't going to get answers anytime soon, he tipped the cup back, lapping up the foamy remains. He scanned the room before him. Thad was smirking and holding a drink, surveying everything around him, seemingly considering his party a success. David, Trent, and Nick were messily dancing by themselves in the center of the deserted building. Jeff was watching the three dance with a fond, humored smile while nursing his own drink. Wes sat on one of the couches pushed against the wall with a slightly confused, puzzled look on his face as he studied his hands intently. And Blaine – sweet, standoffish, make-you-question-your-sanity, Blaine – was scanning through his iPod from its place in a boom box, his face scrunched up in confusion, as he held a lit cigarette in one of his hands that he hopefully remembered was there.

Kurt looked around him. According to the others, this building used to be home of the Arts and Music Department, but it lost funding the previous semester and was currently withdrawn, being considered for permanent cancellation. _So much for joining that singing group…_

The building consisted of one large classroom, divided into two parts, one side of the room stocked with folded-up easels and shelves of art supplies, and the other housing instrumental lockers, a baby grand piano, and a supply closet, most likely filled with musical instruments.

The chairs and desks had been since removed, leaving the room mostly empty. A few mismatched chairs, tables, and couches were scattered around the room, apparently taken out of the dumpsters from when the lounges or common rooms would get new furniture.

In the past semester, this group of boys made this their 'place to party,' or so they had said. They claimed they didn't come inside the building too often, in risk of getting caught, but always hung around the outside. Its secluded location away from main campus made it a perfect getaway. Also, according to the boys, the Arts Building held a special place in each of their hearts. He'd have to remember to ask about that later…

"Finish your drink, Kurt?"

Kurt glanced up, taking in the gangly blonde teen. Jeff drew a cigarette from behind his ear and lit it with a purple lighter, taking a long drag and grinning as he blew out the smoke.

"Yes, thank you. But I'm good for now, as far as another one goes." Jeff nodded in reply, still staring at Kurt expectantly with a small smile.

"How was it?" He asked, grin growing slightly.

"…Just as alcoholic and numbing as the last three." Kurt retorted teasingly, smile fading slightly as he noticed the odd look he was getting from the blonde teen.

"Yeah, well, that one had a _little_ something special in it..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sorry. I hate me for leaving it like that, too. But it was the best place to break up the chapters T_T  
>Next one will be up soon! <strong>


	3. Dragon

**A/N Thank you for all lovely reviews!  
>This chapter is a little...different, so to say. Hope it clears up a lot of stuff! Enjoy<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"Yeah, well, that one had a <em>little<em> something special in it..."

"…'_Special'_…?" Kurt replied, blinking rapidly, staring at Jeff with disbelief. The smile on the blonde's face fell when Kurt stood slowly, eyes wide with horror and face twisted in anger, beet-red. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN '_SPECIAL'!_" he exclaimed, voice shaking with rage.

Kurt chucked the empty cup at the blonde teen, who caught it swiftly, though dropping his cigarette onto the ground in the process. His eyes widened. "Kurt, man, ca-" he looked down, remembering the cigarette and crushing it out, and turned back to face the other boy. "C-calm down! We do it to everyone!" He searched Kurt's face worriedly, dropping the empty plastic cup he caught onto a table behind him.

Kurt's eyes darted around the room, a panic-ridden expression consuming his delicate features. He let out a high-pitched, frightened whine and clutched his face in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut. He backed slowly away from Jeff until he felt his body being pressed against the wall behind him. He stood there for a good 20 minutes, watching Jeff walk away from him and talk animatedly to the others, gesturing to him a few times. Kurt wasn't feeling the drugs yet, but he was having a panic-attack simply _anticipating_ what would happen to him soon. Was he going to trip? Or hallucinate? Or black out? What did they give him, anyway?

"What did you fuckers give me, anyway?" He seethed, forcing his words out through clenched teeth, tearing his hands away from his face and hugging himself. At that point, the other drunken inhabitants of the party had formed a loose half-circle around him. Kurt looked up and jumped slightly, seeing their close 't they just been way over there a second ago…?

"You all fucked up yet, bro?" Trent asked with a smirk, waving his hand in front of the other boy's face. Kurt smacked his hand away from his himself with surprising force, causing the bigger teen's smile to drop and take a small step back.

"_What the fuck did you give me!_"

"Chill, dude! It's just a little LSD…" Thad assured cautiously, putting his hands up in defense as the boy leaned forward to get closer to his face.

"_Just…a little…__LSD__?_" Kurt repeated, giving the dark-haired boy a shove and jumping back in surprise when his hands made contact with Thad's chest. His hands felt like they had melted into the other boy's shirt. He held his hands up near his face and inspected them closely. Other than being a little sweaty, nothing seemed out of place. He remembered that he was supposed to be yelling at the other students and snapped his head back up to face them, dropping his hands to his side in fists.

Most of them held a slight smirk, seeming to be amused by his hand self-exam. Blaine, though, looked careful, eyebrow cocked curiously. And Nick looked scared, his eyes continuously darting between Kurt and Thad, who still stood directly in front of him. When Wes let out a small snicker, Kurt turned sharply in his direction.

"You think this is _funny_? You think _drugging_ someone is _FUNNY?_" He spat out at the Asian boy, whose smile remained in place, even twitched up slightly, when Kurt got up in his face.

"I – Are you – are you serious? _Yes_! _Yes_, I find this _extremely_ funny. When we did this to Blaine, he was absolutely positive that we all wanted to make out with him – and let me tell you, he tried to comply – and then there was Nick trying to enlighten us with his profound epiphany that his cat was his grandfather reincarnated-"

"Don't forget about Jeff and his nakedness-"

"-Yes, yes, and Jeff and his nakedness… The _point_, Kurt, is that when you mix hallucinogenic drugs with behaviorally-disturbed teenagers, hilarity ensues! ...Kurt…? …_Kurt!_"

The boy in question stood, mouth agape, eyes wide and rapidly dilating, transfixed on a spot behind the group of students. At the call of his name the second time, he closed his mouth, his face returning to its previous, irate expression. "You think _that's_ funny, too?" He pointed to the wall behind them shakily, swaying slightly when his sudden movement threw off his balance. "Trying to fuck with me even more? Well, it's not working. I _know_ it's you guys doing that."

David took a quick glance behind them and saw nothing taking place. Quirking an eyebrow, he turned to face the hysteric boy. "Kurt, what are you-?"

"The little _dots_ all over the walls, _David._" Kurt gestured messily around himself to the other walls where tiny dots started flashing in front of his eyes. A look of sudden thought fell over his face and his head shot up, scanning the ceiling quickly. "How the hell _are_ you doing that, anyway? Is it like a projector, or something?"

Trent let out a small chuckle, smirking along with the other boys, aside from Blaine, who was watching the pale boy closely, David, who now looked thoroughly confused, inspecting the wall behind Kurt curiously, and Nick, who still looked slightly frightened of Kurt.

David, realizing what Kurt was referring to, let out a small laugh and faced the boy. "Those are the holes in the soundproofing tiles, Kurt… They're just there to help the acoustics in the roo-"

"I KNOW WHAT SOUNDPROOFING IS!" Kurt let out in a huff, spinning around abruptly to eye the wall behind him critically, bringing his hand up to run long, slow strokes down the surface, watching as the tiny holes in the tiles seemed to vibrate before his eyes. As he increased his pace slightly, his eyes widened, and he let out a sharp gasp, figuring the quicker he touched the wall, the more the dots pulsated.

Behind him, Jeff giggled, sitting down on a nearby couch. "Okay, yeah, this _is_ always funny… When _you're_ not the one enthusiastically caressing a wall, anyway."

Trent nodded eagerly in agreement, laughing as Kurt's hand drifted from the wall to a nearby table where a few cups of beer and empty shot glasses sat next to a bottle of vodka. He traced his finger around the rim of a shot glass and then moved to carefully pick up a cup of beer. He held it under his nose and stared into it, eyes widening in amazement. "The beer is, like, bubbling all…intense and stuff…" He trailed off, attention still captured by the fizzing drink, the foam seeming as though it was erupting and pulsing in waves.

"Er – I think Kurt is right, guys! More alcohol!" Blaine exclaimed suddenly, pointing into the air excitedly. He was glad the young boy seemed to have accepted the drug, at least somewhat, and had stopped screaming at them…

The group walked to the table Kurt was standing next to and each collected shot glasses. Pouring a shot of vodka for each of the boys, minus Kurt, who was still content gazing idly into his beer, Thad held up his small glass triumphantly. "To Kurt! My freakin' psycho-killer roommate!" And he flicked his glass up and nodded, the rest of the boys following suit.

"_To Kurt!_" They all chorused and threw their shots back, slamming the glasses down when they finished.

The boy in question jumped at the sound of the glasses meeting the table, but shook his head, clearing his thoughts about the ridiculously bubbly beer, and actually took a sip of it, eyes flying to the other side of the room where the iPod sat. "C-can I-?" He pointed to the small device, directing the question at Blaine. The curly-haired boy cocked an eyebrow and smiled at the Kurt he saw before him, loose and still slightly confused, and nodded, watching the boy walking away and shamelessly staring at his ass in those tight, tight jeans.

Blaine sighed, shaking his head, and picked up an empty plastic cup. He snatched the bottle of vodka from Wes as the boy was pouring himself a shot and tipped it over the cup, filling it to about two inches.

"Rude, Blaine. Very, very rude." The Asian boy clicked his tongue in exaggerated-disapproval and seized the bottle, abandoning his shot glass altogether and taking a swift swig out of the bottle. His eyes wandered to where Nick sat observing Kurt, who was now giggling endlessly at the screen of the iPod, with narrowed eyes. "What's wrong with you, Nick?" He asked, eyeing the boy.

Nick opened his mouth and closed it again, looking thoughtful before responding. "…Don't you think it was kind of a bad idea to give Kurt that stuff? I mean because of his sketchy past and everything…" He mused, not taking his eyes off the young boy on the other side of the room.

"I told you already that I don't think he's dangerous-"

"You also said you thought he was gonna bound you in your sleep and torture you…" Nick spoke in a monotone, quirking an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah, I guess I was a little _cautious_ of him last night, but all _that_ did was prove my point that he's not dangerous." Thad shrugged, making his way to the other side of the room where the biggest couch sat. "Besides, you heard him in group this morning. He didn't seem like some of the guys here that try to pick fights and are quick to get violent."

_"Now, why would your father do something like that on purpose?" Ms. Webber's voice was calm and careful. She let the clipboard she held in her hands fall to her lap. _

_"…I dunno. Because he fucking hates me." A boy with short, wavy brown hair – Stephen, Kurt remembered – replied curtly._

_"What gives you reason to believe your father hates you?" _

_The boy huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, facing away from the woman with a defiant frown. The teacher nodded thoughtfully as she scribbled something on her clipboard, then placed it on her lap and faced the group of boys. She noticed Kurt playing idly with a strand of his damp hair, eyes focused on the ground._

_"Mr. Hummel?"_

_The boy blinked a few times and his hand dropped from his head, sitting up slightly to face the woman. "Hmm?"_

_"What about you? You're the only one who hasn't spoken today... Would you like to share something?" She searched the young boy's face, noticing the emotions flickering over his features. He seemed unsure of himself, but nodded slightly._

_"Yeah, okay…"_

_The woman nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue. When he didn't, she cleared her throat briefly. "What would you like to share?" The boy's face scrunched up in confusion, not having prepared anything to say. "How was your first night here?" She suggested gently. The boy simply shrugged in response, his hands closing around himself._

_"He didn't sleep that much." Thad offered casually when Kurt didn't reply._

_"…Miss home…? Sleeping in your own bed and seeing your family…?" The teacher guessed and nodded understandingly, noticing the young boy's lips twitch up slightly as he thought of home. Almost instantly, his smile fell and was replaced with a hurt expression. "How are things with your family, Kurt?" Blaine noticed the pale boy stiffen at this question, this obviously a sore spot. Kurt sighed, shrugging lightly with one shoulder. _

_"…Nonexistent… I mean, I haven't even really talked to any of them since the… Since I got arrested. Especially my dad. My dad – he's so disappointed in me... He says I've ruined my life, and that he can't be around me yet. I know he still loves me, but…" Kurt nodded, keeping his face down, the wounded expression growing._

_"Are you angry at your father for keeping his distance from you?"_

_"…No. No, I…understand, I just wish… I mean – after everything – I just thought…" A conflicted look fell over his face. "B-but no, I'm not angry at him…"_

_"…Do __you__ think you've ruined your life, Kurt…? Are you angry that you ended up here?"_

_He opened his mouth and closed it again, his eyebrows furrowing together. "I – No… No, I'm not angry. Frustrated, maybe… Definitely sad that my life didn't follow the path I thought it would… But not angry." _

The lot settled around a sofa, which was near the piano, all now turning to face Kurt. He stared at the mp3-player with intent eyes, brow furrowing in concentration. He seemed to press play on the device, for the song shifted, resulting in a slow, dirty rap song to fill the room. Kurt scrunched up his nose in disgust and shook his head violently, stopping the music altogether and continuing to skim through the songs.

"I don't think we have anything to be worried about." Jeff smiled, taking in Kurt's very contemplative face.

"Yeah, I mean, Kurt might have killed someone, but we don't know his full story behind it. Besides, he seems like a generally…nonviolent person, so I'm sure everything will be fine."

* * *

><p>Two hours later found Kurt sprawled on his back with a huge smile on his face, his trip at its peak. He stretched his hands up towards the ceiling, wiggling his fingers to the beat of the melody and taking special note in the complexity of his joints. The song changed and his eyes fluttered closed and he let out a hum of appreciation, but continued his ramble.<p>

"-and it's like all our lives _are_, are us going place to place to do things. Like we all have our little routines, you know?" He giggled, opening his eyes and sitting up to face the boys who were sitting around him on the ground. Blaine hummed in agreement absently, busy lighting another cigarette. Kurt stared at this action, mesmerized, until the chorus of the song started, capturing his attention.

As faint patterns of colored light danced in front of his eyes in time with the music, he reached out to grab them, an expression of amusement mixed with wonder gracing his face. He fell back onto his back, still lazily grabbing at the air in front of him.

David laughed, thoroughly more wasted along with the others, and looked down at Kurt. "Man, what're you doin'?" He slurred, leaning forward slightly and having to balance himself with his hand.

Kurt laughed, his arms falling above his head onto the ground, and shut his eyes. "The…music, it's just so… _captivating._"

The boys all laughed messily, the ones with cigarettes letting out small puffs of smoke as they did so. Kurt giggled in response, stretching his arms further past his head, relishing in his hyperactive senses and trying not to be bothered by the suffocating amount of smoke in the air.

Blaine noticed Kurt's shirt ride up as he stretched, revealing a few inches of his milky white, toned abdomen. In his less than sober state, he stumbled from his sitting position onto his stomach and reached out to touch the exposed skin, resting his head on his other hand. Kurt jumped slightly, but then hummed in response, his hand enclosing over the one on his stomach. "Fuck, Kurt… Fuck, you're so hot... You know that, right?" Blaine mumbled around his cigarette, his droopy eyes raking over the pale boy's body.

Kurt chuckled quietly, vibrations emanating through his skin. "That feels nice," he muttered, watching as Blaine stroked his stomach idly. The other boys laughed, watching Blaine's drunken affections and Kurt's acid-induced physical response. The music shifted to a booming dance song, resulting in a few cheers and encouraging sounds from the boys.

"Fuck yeah! Shit, that's what I'm talking about! This song is awesome!"

The boys all ended up dancing along to the songs in Blaine's 'House Music' playlist, all heavily intoxicated, pumping along to the beat. Kurt was having an out-of-body experience. The music made shapes in the air around him and the body heat of the boys around him was unreal. It felt like the entire room was pulsating together, moving and throbbing as a whole unit. He felt a pair of rough hands grab his hips from behind and he twisted his head around sharply, finding a sloppy-looking Blaine with his eyes closed, grinding against Kurt to the beat.

At Kurt's stalled movement, Blaine opened his eyes and, seeing the pale boy's blushing, quizzical face, smiled. "Dance with me," he whispered, his grip on Kurt's hips tightening, forcing him back into movement.

"I've never really danced with anyone before." Kurt admitted softly with a smile on his face, jumping back into rhythm and letting the sensations take over him. He closed his eyes and faced forward again, letting his head fall back onto Blaine's shoulder, enjoying the feeling of another body pressed against him. Blaine chuckled, nuzzling against Kurt's neck.

"Just relax…"

_"Just relax," the man sneered, curling a finger under Kurt's chin to make the boy face him. "Such a pretty little face…" He laughed then, and snatched his hand away from Kurt. "Flip him over." The man grinned devilishly, revealing the large gap in his smile between his front tooth and canine where one had fallen out. The air was filled with the sound of the young boy's muffled cries, the quiet zipping of the man taking his pants off, and the constant boom! boom! boom! of the music radiating from the club. _

_"Please! Oh God, please! Don't do this!" He mumbled around the material they shoved in his mouth. The man holding his shoulders down smacked him swiftly in the face, causing him to let out a strangled whimper and squeeze his eyes shut._

_"Don't fucking talk, faggot."_

"Kurt! _Kurt!_" The boy's eyes flew open to reveal himself crouched on the ground against a wall, breathing heavily and clutching himself hysterically. He looked up to see the boys all standing around him and Jeff kneeling down, looking at his cautiously. "Are you okay?" Kurt nodded frantically, standing up and moving to walk towards the couch, but Jeff pushed against his shoulders, resulting in him hitting the wall with a dull thud. "I think you should cool down for a little. Just stay where you are."

_Two hands pushed against his shoulders and he heard the sound of his naked back hitting the wall of lockers. "Don't move, Hummel." The jock opened his locker next to where Kurt was standing, teary-eyed and still, keeping a hand on his chest to keep him in place, and pulled out a T-shirt. _

_He suddenly lunged at the boy's wrists and gripped them in a deathly tight hold in one hand. With the other, he wrapped the shirt around the boy's mouth, silencing his hoarse whimpers. Kurt clamped his eyes shut, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. No. This isn't happening. Not again. _

_With his free hand, the jock yanked Kurt's pants and boxer-briefs down, leaving them hanging loose around his ankles. He started eagerly massaging the boy's crotch, moaning and breathing heavily as he did so, pressing his already hard cock against Kurt's hip. When Kurt's penis gave no response to the touching, the jock grabbed it roughly, squeezing it with a painfully tight grip and trying to stroke. Kurt let out a strangled sob, choking on the shirt in his mouth. With still no reaction, the meaty teen dropped hold of Kurt's cock and began unzipping his pants. _

_Kurt's eyes opened and darted around the room, eyeing the small pocketknife sitting in the jock's open locker, calling to him. Noticing the other boy's attention was elsewhere, he ripped away from his grasp and grabbed the tool, flicking open the main knife in a matter of seconds and plunging it into the boy's chest. _

"-touch me! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!" Kurt realized suddenly that it was _his_ voice he was hearing scream out in a desperate wail. He looked around him. He wasn't in the locker room anymore, no. He was in the Arts Building. He was surrounded by seven other boys who were all crouching around him trying to get him to calm down. He stopped screaming and shakily took in a deep, panting breath.

"Whoa, Kurt. What the fuck is going on?" David asked from right in front of him, searching the boy's face with wide, frightened eyes. When Kurt gave no response, he swiftly stood up and offered him a hand, bringing him to a standing position as well. The group of boys made their way to the couch they were sitting around earlier, near the piano.

Kurt, still breathing heavily, ran a hand over his face with a shaky hand, feeling hot wet liquid. He assumed it was sweat, but when he brought it down to inspect, he found blood. Massive amounts of blood. Oozing and pouring down between his fingers. He let out an ear-splitting cry, turning his face sideways and pushing his arms out away from him, trying to get the furthest distance away possible from his bloody hands.

"What the fuck?" Someone demanded, placing a hand on his shoulder and trying to still his frantic squirming.

"The blood! Oh _God_, the blood!" He cried, folding in on himself, but still keeping his hands at a distance.

"…What the fuck is he talking about…?"

_The boy let out a surprised shriek, falling down onto the floor and clutching the spot on his body where the knife had made contact. "WHAT THE FUCK, HUMMEL!" Kurt stood, white as a ghost and holding the guilty knife in his hand, watching as a single drop of blood fell from it, onto the ground. He looked at the repulsive tool and dropped it, a loud clank! sounding throughout the room as it clattered to the floor._

_"Oh my god… Dave, I-"_

_"Get the fuck outta here, faggot!" _

_**"I'm done with him if you guys are... Now get the fuck outta here, faggot." The man kicked him in the stomach and turned to go, but not without flashing his gapped smile one last time.**_

_Before Kurt knew what was happening, he was hunched over the jock, the knife attached to his chest once again, blood flowing down over his fingers and onto the hard ground beneath them. _

_"YOU USED ME! YOU TOOK AWAY EVERYTHING I HAD AND RAPED ME!" He pulled the knife out again and stabbed him again, causing the boy to cry out in pain and he tried to struggle. _

_"Stop! I didn't rape you!" Karofsky choked out, a couple drops of blood splattering out of his mouth as he coughed, still trying to push the smaller boy away, but to no avail as Kurt continued pushing the knife into his body repeatedly._

_"I WAS A VIRGIN AND YOU DRAGGED ME INTO THAT ALLEY AND STOLE EVERYTHING FROM ME! YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS! YOU RAPED ME AGAIN AND AGAIN AND… And…and..." He trailed off and sobbed, pulling his hands away from the other boy and dropping the knife. He tore away from him and faced the door, only to come to a sudden halt at seeing another jock, wearing the same red letterman jacket, staring at the blood on Kurt's hands and the lifeless body behind him with a frozen expression of horror on his face. _

_Suddenly realizing what he did, Kurt turned to face Karofsky, seeing his body emptying its blood and no longer moving up and down with breaths. He looked down at his hands, dripping with dark blood. In his mind, he knew that it was David Karofsky he had just killed. That it wasn't David Karofsky that had raped him months ago in that alley behind that club. That he should have stopped and ran when he first got the chance. _

_But when he looked down at the motionless face of the boy who repeatedly sexually assaulted him, he also saw the man. The man with the stringy black hair and gap tooth smirk who held him against his will and stole his innocence. _

"Kurt! Stop! What are you doing?" Wes's voice sounded from somewhere. Kurt felt a hard, flat surface against his face, and tasted the salty tears that rolled down his face and past his lips. He shot his eyes open, seeing the vibrating dots from before. He pulled away from the wall slightly and turned to see Wes, David, and Blaine each very close to him, reeking of alcohol.

"Okay, _Kurt,_" Blaine started, looking very cautious and speaking slowly and carefully. "You're safe, okay? I think you're having flashbacks. Just calm down, alright? You're just having a bad trip." He placed a hesitant hand on Kurt's shoulder and tried to lead him to where the others sat around the couch, looking wary of him and his outburst.

Kurt looked down to his hands, noting the blood he thought he saw before was gone. The room was spinning slightly, due to his intoxication, or his LSD, or his current mental instability, he wasn't sure. The music was still blasting in the background, replaying the 'House Music' playlist.

_boom! boom! boom!_

He caught a reflection of himself in a passing window and gasped. His face looked distorted, his features grossly exaggerated and sickly looking. He stepped towards it slowly, placing his hands against the cool glass, trying to look more closely at himself.

"Kurt… Come on, Kurt. Let's go sit down." Blaine's concerned voice was coming from somewhere behind him, but he couldn't be bothered by that now.

His eyes looked twice their normal size and his mouth was bright red. He stepped closer to the mirror-like glass and jumped back as his reflection shifted and contorted with his movement. He moved side to side and up and down, studying his reflection with disturbed concentration. He opened his mouth and screamed, flying away from the window and tumbling back onto the ground.

"Kurt! Come on, let's go-"

But Kurt pushed Blaine away forcibly and flung himself back onto his feet, peeking with horror at the reflection before him once again. He stared at his mouth, looking with revulsion and shock to see a gap in his bite between his front and canine tooth. "No…" He whispered, staring at the window, his features all distorting, panic flooding through his body. "_No_! This isn't real! This can't be happening!" Kurt screeched, pushing Blaine away when the curly-haired boy tried to pull him away from the window.

"Kurt you're just tripping! Calm down, it's just the drugs!"

"_No! NO!_" He looked into the window to see his reflection beginning to come into focus, only to reveal a sickeningly familiar man with limp black hair and a dangerous smirk. Gap and all.

_boom! boom! boom!_

_The man grabbed his hips feverishly and lined his cock up against Kurt's entrance. Without warning, he thrust into the young boy roughly, letting out a sickening hiss of pleasure and shuddering slightly. "Fuck. A tight little fag." Kurt sobbed silently, his face grinding into the pavement each time his body heaved. That was it. That was him losing his virginity. "Take it like the little slut you are."_

He let out a piercing scream and punched through the window, resulting in the glass breaking with a loud shatter and falling over his body.

"Kurt!" Blaine screamed, dragging the boy who had fallen beneath the shards to a sitting position. The breaking of the window and Blaine's scream had gotten the attention of the other boys, who now all huddled around a restless Kurt, who was fighting and struggling against their restraint. His body shook uncontrollably with sobs, heaving violently. Tiny specks of blood were visible on his face and neck from where the shards of glass cut him.

"No-o-o-o!" He sobbed brokenly, trying to push the boys' hands away from his body with no success. "I h-have to d-do it! I have to k-kill him!" He choked out, gasping for breath between sobs.

The group of boys, feeling suddenly more sober as their bodies flooded with adrenalin, shared some nervous glances. Nick, who was trying to hold down Kurt's left shoulder, shot a glare at Thad. "Oh yeah, _totally_ not dangerous." He spat out, pushing down harder when the pale boy tried to break free from his grasp.

"Shut up. He's having a bad trip. I couldn't have known this was gonna happen." Thad replied, watching over Blaine's shoulder at the boy's face. Jeff, who was holding down Kurt's other shoulder, looked over to where the shattered glass lay, near Kurt's feet, and quirked an eyebrow, confused at the boy's actions.

While Jeff's attention was elsewhere, Kurt broke free from his grasp and managed to reach down to where the shards lay and grab a long, triangular piece of glass. David, who was near his feet, tried to snatch it away from the boy, but only ended up giving him enough freedom to bolt up to his feet.

The boys all shot up and turned towards him but came to a halt as Kurt held the sharp side of the glass towards his chest, threateningly. His chest heaved another sob and more tears rolled down his cheeks as he backed up against the wall behind him.

"Kurt… Kurt, put that down." Wes put one hand up cautiously, trying to take a small step towards the boy.

_boom! boom! boom! _The music still rung throughout the room.

"NO! I have to d-do it! It was me all along! He – he's a part of me… If I kill myself, he'll die!" Kurt sobbed, bringing the sharp object from his chest up towards his neck. He took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut, looking like he was about to plunge it into himself.

"Stop! Kurt! Give it to me!" David stepped forward, offering his hand, palm-up. When the boy remained still, he took another step forward, hand still raised. "Kurt… Please, this is just the drugs talking. Just give me the glass…" Kurt forced one eye open and eyed the hand in front of him and then shifted his gaze to David's face. "Kurt… _Please_."

"You have no idea what it's like, David. He _raped_ me. _He raped me_ and I – I killed someone else! I killed someone else because of him! I have to kill him!" He screeched, pressing the glass tip into his neck lightly, fresh tears pooling in his eyes. David, stunned at the information he heard, tried to keep a calm face and nodded slowly.

"Okay… Okay, Kurt. But – but, stabbing yourself isn't going to-"

"Yes! Yes, it will! I have to kill myself to kill him!"

"Kurt, please," Blaine's voice sounded next to David. Kurt's eyes flew to the curly-haired boy, taking in his worry-ridden expression. Kurt shook his head wearily as the boy approached him. "You're not going to kill the man who raped you if you stab yourself... You won't do anything but get hurt…" Kurt shook his head violently and let out a strangled sob and Blaine stepped closer to him.

"N-no, Blaine! You don't _know_!" He cried, body shaking with sobs again. Blaine cautiously stepped up to the young boy and placed his arms around his shoulders from the side, holding him close and trying to control his trembling body.

"_Shh, shh._" He pulled Kurt closer and held him with a troubled look on his face. Blaine nodded slowly. "I know, I know."

"N-n-n-o-o-o!" Kurt sobbed, the sound muffled as he dug his face into the curly-haired boy's arm, his weapon-wielding hand pinned against his chest.

_boom! boom! boom!_

"I know…I know…" Blaine murmured, eyeing the piece of glass in the other boy's hand intently. When Kurt continued to cry into his arm, Blaine reached around with his other hand and tried to slip it out of the boy's grasp.

"_NO_!" Kurt wailed suddenly, gripping the glass tighter as Blaine tried to snatch it from him. On instinctual impulse, he swiped the shard against the other boy, cutting him cleanly on the shoulder. Blaine let out a sharp cry and clutched his wound. The other boys approached the two then, Wes and David surrounding Blaine and the other four going towards Kurt, but before they could do anything, he plunged the sharp glass into his side, letting out a harsh breath and falling forward onto his knees.

"HOLY SHIT!" Jeff exclaimed, kneeling down beside him with Trent, Nick and Thad.

Eyes darting between Blaine and Kurt, David spoke to his friend with rushed anxiety. "Blaine, are you okay?"

"Yes! Damn it, I'm fine! Go help _him_!" He replied, hand still pressed against the slice on his right shoulder. Wes peeled his hand away and began examining the wound.

David pushed the others away from Kurt and kneeled in front of him. Jeff was chanting 'Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,' and standing behind the dark-skinned boy as he tried to figure out what to do. He ripped the Kurt's hand away from where it still clutch the weapon in his side and inspected it closely. _It doesn't look too deep…_ Hoping he was right and making the right decision, he carefully removed the bloodied glass and placed it on the ground, causing a loud yelp to leave the injured boy's lips. He frantically unbuttoned Kurt's shirt and tried to access the severity of the wound. It didn't look very deep at all, and seemed to have hit one of his ribs instead of sinking very deep into his body.

He ripped his own shirt off swiftly and pressed it onto the stab-wound, resulting in a Kurt wincing violently. David put strong pressure on the boy's side and, seeing as the blood didn't soak through his shirt after a couple minutes, he figured the bleeding wasn't too serious. Kurt was shaking harshly, eyes open and unfocused in shock. After a few more minutes of holding his shirt onto the wound, David let out a sigh of relief. The tension in the air seemed to dissipate slightly after that. It seemed the boys were waiting for his assessment to breath. David glanced up to where Wes was dabbing the blood from Blaine's arm.

"You alright, B?" He questioned the boy, eyeing the cut and seeing it not very deep.

"I'm fine. It doesn't even need stitches… Um… Is he…?" He trailed off, pointing to Kurt lying on his back and slowly calming down from his trembling. David sighed and pulled the shirt away meekly. Seeing the bleeding had subsided, he removed it entirely and faced his two best friends.

"I think, yeah. It didn't bleed too much, so… But I don't know if we should take him to the medical wing, anyway... Would he get expelled for dropping acid? Because they would find it in his system if we took him now."

"Well it needs to be cleaned and stuff." Trent said, looking at the bloody piece of glass lying next to Kurt with narrowed eyes. "It could get infected, right?"

Nick nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah. But, we have all that stuff in our room, don't we? In the issued First Aid kits they give us? We could sterilize it and bandage him up and if it gets bad, we can take him later, when the LSD's out of his body."

"Because, let's face it. He's gonna tell them that we drugged him. And then we're gonna be fucked, not him. So I say we do what Nick said." Thad offered, crossing his arms over his chest and eyeing the other boys for their reaction.

"Yeah." Jeff replied immediately, nodding at the dark-haired boy.

"I guess…" Trent added, eyes still fixed on the piece of bloody glass.

"I agree with Thad. We'd be the ones getting expelled, and personally, I don't want to go to juvie." Wes said honestly, shrugging his shoulders when Blaine gave him a small glare. "What? Do _you_ want to go to juvie?" The curly-haired boy sighed.

"Well, _no_, but-"

"I wouldn't tell them you guys drugged me." Kurt spoke suddenly, alarming the occupants of the room. They all stared at him silently with varying looks of puzzlement. "I mean, all – what? Six, seven – of you guys go off to juvie verses just _me_?" He shook his head slowly, letting his eyes fall shut. "I wouldn't do that," he whispered, eyes still closed. "But either way, I think I'm fine to just go back to the dorms. And David," he opened his eyes and looked at the boy in front of him. "Your tattoo is, like, flying right at me." He giggled the last part softly.

David looked down to his left shoulder area where the simple black, Chinese-style dragon tattoo wrapped around his upper arm and ended on his pec, where the dragon's face was facing forward. He nodded and looked back to Kurt's face. "Let's get you back to your room."

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up feeling like someone was punching him in the face, repeatedly. Realizing it was only a headache, he very slowly opened one eye. The room was filled with light and Kurt had to think for a second before realizing he was in his dorm room. He turned to the side to see if Thad was there, but winced immediately, only then remembering his wound. He let out a soft moan.<p>

Thad sat up in his bed where he lounged, reading, and turned to face Kurt, seeing he was awake. "Oh," he said, standing and walking to Kurt's bed and sitting on the edge of it. "How are you feeling?" He eyed the boy's bandaged torso and then shifted his gaze to his face.

"I'm an idiot," was all Kurt breathed in reply, letting his eyes fall shut.

"…What?"

"I just – I'm _such_ an idiot… I'm sorry for completely fucking up the party last night. You guys do it to everyone and I just freaked the fuck out and-"

"No, Kurt. We…_probably_ shouldn't have drugged someone with PTSD…" Thad said carefully, watching Kurt's face for a reaction. The young boy looked shocked, but as he opened his mouth to talk, Thad cut him off by raising his hand. "I saw the papers in your bag where they gave you a mental assessment…"

"…You went through my stuff?" Kurt looked more surprised than angry. Thad nodded slowly and turned to grab something off the table next to Kurt's bed. He held it up. It was Kurt's iPhone.

"I charged your phone, too. You have, like, _218_ new text messages…?" He trailed off, handing the young boy his phone, who took it and placed it on his lap without looking at the screen.

"_Yeah_… I was in jail for three months before my trial, so…" He shrugged, glancing down at the screen briefly and running his hands over the shiny, black plastic. "It's gonna be weird trying to, like, talk to everyone again. Like, updating them about all the things they missed in my life, and all the things I missed." He shrugged again and put the phone down to face Thad. "Thad… You and the other guys, thanks for taking care of me last night…" He said quietly, glancing sideways at his roommate.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Yeah, I know, man. We know. We're just glad your trip ended and you don't think you need to kill yourself in order to kill someone else, anymore…" He said with a slight smile. Kurt nodded with his own small, sad, smile.

"It was so weird. It was like, I was so sure that if I killed myself, the guy who… raped me… would die too." Kurt spoke, looking down at his hands in his lap and absently stroking his phone with his thumb. "But I think there was a part of me that wanted to kill myself… to just kill me, too.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Yeaaahh... So a couple things.  
>1) Hope what happened to Kurt was clear enough to understand. Basically, he was raped by a gang of guys and then suffered PTSD and stabbed Karofsky during an break down while he was being molested, thus explaining why he was let off from full charges of murder, but not cleared because it wasn't a black and white self-defense situation<br>2) My odd acid-trip story. Kurt's experience was actually 100% based off stories I've heard first hand (Not exactly the stabbing yourself part, but trying to attack people/yourself). Unfortunately, even having scary flashbacks :(**

**Anywho! Long A/N! Next chapter will be up soon!**


	4. Doing It Right

**A/N Sorry for the wait! I was trying to get this up sooner!  
>Anyway, this one's a bit of fluff and has a visit from Finn! Enjoy!<br>****Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"Je suis allé au restaurant la nuit dernière et a mangé du poulet<em>. <em>Répéter, la classe!" The woman spoke with fake enthusiasm, looking at her students in front of her.

"_Je suis allé au restaurant la nuit dernière et a mangé du poulet…" _Kurt sighed. This was torture. He was fluent in French. He used correct pronunciation and spoke with a beautiful accent. Sitting here, going over and repeating basic French I material and conjugations made his brain feel like it was going to implode. In fact, all of his classes so far were impossibly less-demanding than those he took at McKinley. It seemed as though the teachers had to work twice as hard and be twice as strict, to get the kids here to do half the work.

It was Tuesday afternoon and Kurt, bored, thought back to the past few days and his experiences.

During Sunday evening group, he remained completely silent, not commenting or consoling the others, until Ms. Webber asked him the standard, "Would you like to share anything today?" And Kurt burst out into tears, surprising even himself with his release of emotions.

_"Kurt. Kurt, are you alright? Would you like to talk about it?" The teacher had asked gently, watching his body shake with sobs._

_"I-I-I was r-raped," he choked out, covering his face in shame. A few sounds of surprise were heard throughout the room. "A-a few months b-before I was arrested. A-and other than my family a-and the doctor, and the people at the t-trial," his voice dropped down to a low whisper. "I never told anyone." _

And so much was true. After the incident, he returned home and wasn't able to hide it from his family, who insisted taking him to the hospital and a having a mental evaluation. Of course, it was spoken of when he was defending his reasons for killing Dave Karofsky. But he never told his Glee mates, his teachers, his best friend. When the trial went public, he was sure they _knew_, but he wasn't in school then. And he never actually told them himself. Right after the incident was the hardest time to play normal.

_"Boy, you sure you're alright?" The diva asked with a suspicious raised eyebrow, eyes raking over the boy's bruises, as he took a couple books from his locker. He stiffened noticeably at the question, but continued his actions, then sighed dramatically._

_"Of course I'm alright, Mercedes," he closed his locker and faced her. "I've been jumped before. This time wasn't even that bad… I'm just a little on edge." She gave him a mixed look of disbelief and hurt, like she knew he was keeping something from her._

_"If you say so…"_

Why he felt like he could tell _these _kids before he could tell his own friends, he wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that at McKinley, he stood out so obviously already. He stuck out like a sore thumb without even trying. If they knew something like that happened to him and it got around the school, he was going to be treated with even more distance than before. At Dalton, he was just another kid with his own set of problems. Just another fucked up guy with fucked up stories and experiences, nothing anyone here hadn't heard of before.

On Monday morning before classes started, Kurt experienced 'rounds' for the first time, something he found he wasn't particularly fond of.

_"Okay. __What__ was that? How come __you__ didn't have to do that?" Kurt demanded as he pulled his pants back on from where they were placed on his bed. He turned to his smirking roommate with an expectant look, hands on his hips._

_"They probably just did a strip n' search on you because you're new… Or because of your record. Or the drug dog thought you smelled weird, whatever. It happens." He shrugged indifferently, but the amused look on his face was obvious. _

"Très bien! Maintenant! Mon repas était très délicieux. J'ai eu le dessert, par la suite." Madame Achille spoke slowly, nodding and turning away from the class to begin writing on the chalkboard.

"_Mon repas était très délicieux. J'ai eu le-_"

"Monsieur Anderson!" She interrupted the class, turning towards the door where Blaine was strolling in casually, his messenger bag hanging loosely and shiny from rain, the sleeves of his blazer dark and wet. He closed the door nonchalantly behind himself and faced the teacher. The boy cocked an eyebrow questioningly, stopping in front of the woman and giving her a blank stare.

"…Yeah…?"

"You are 20 minutes late!" She threw at him in her thick accent, visibly annoyed.

"Yeah." He agreed lightly, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. The teacher let out a frustrated sigh and turned back around to face the board and finished writing the assignment.

"Take a seat," she mumbled irately. Blaine's lips twitched up into a smug, triumphant smile as he stalked past the first few rows of desks until slumping into the empty seat next to Kurt, who blushed lightly when they locked eyes. "Since Monsieur Anderson was so kind to interrupt our exercise, let's get started on the bookwork for the day, shall we?" The pale boy watched intently as Blaine dug around in his bag and pulled out a French book.

"I didn't know you took French," Kurt commented coolly, watching the other boy now retrieving a notebook and placing it on his desk. _I'm not flirting,_ he told himself. _I'm not flirting with a guy who waltzes into class 20 minutes late and doesn't give a crap. _Blaine turned to Kurt with an amused smile and raised pierced eyebrow.

"I don't. I spend three hours a week sitting in a French classroom, butchering the language and culture, and embarrassing myself." He smiled, turning his attention back to the board where the teacher was writing their assignment for the day. His eyes darted between the board and his notebook where he was hastily copying the task. "I'm positively _dreadful_ at speaking French," he added quietly, with a teasing smile. Kurt giggled softly and began his assignment.

* * *

><p>After they finished their bookwork, they were partnered up to do a talking, back and forth, exercise. Kurt, to his initial disappointment, was paired with the boy to his right, as opposed to Blaine, on his left. But he soon discovered that Josh was actually a very nice person, and relatively good at French.<p>

Kurt giggled. "Danielle, est-elle votre cousin?" He spoke, reading the next prepared passage from the book in front of him. Josh cocked an eyebrow.

"No," he started, causing Kurt to quirk an eyebrow quizzically because it was not the response in the book. "Je vais avoir des relations sexuelles avec elle!" He exclaimed loudly, stifling the talking in classroom immediately, causing the two boys to crumble in laughter.

"Boys! Behave yourselves! Monsieur Byers, do you want a repeat of last Friday?" The teacher threatened heatedly. Josh scoffed and turned back to face his book, dismissing the woman without any kind of response. Kurt held in a few remaining giggles and turned his attention back to his book as well, not noticing the odd look Blaine was giving him.

* * *

><p>After the bell rang, Kurt hung behind a little while after the class to collect his things. As he tucked his notebook into his bag carefully, his eyes caught Blaine about to head out the door. "Blaine!" He called after the boy, pulling the strap of his bag onto his shoulder and walking over to where Blaine was stopped in the doorway with a raised eyebrow.<p>

"_What_, Kurt? I need to go to class." He asked bitterly, a small scowl appearing on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned on the doorway, looking bored. Kurt came to a halt, seeing Blaine's seemingly angry expression.

"Uh… I – I just… I forgot my group schedule in my room. What time is it today?" He asked, following the other boy as he started walking out the door in the middle of Kurt's question.

"5:30," he replied in an impatient monotone, increasing his pace to leave Kurt behind. The pale boy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and took quicker strides to catch up with the other boy, who sighed when he noticed Kurt's presence next to him. The young boy quirked a puzzled eyebrow and tilted his head to get a better look at Blaine's face.

"Wasn't that the last class of the day?" He inquired with narrowed eyes, watching as the other boy scratched his arms nervously through his shirt sleeves and tried to increase his pace even yet again. When he didn't respond, Kurt stepped in front of him, blocking him from going any further. "Are you mad at me or something?" Blaine rolled his eyes dramatically and let out a disgruntled sigh.

"Fuck, Kurt. Stop being such a little bitch about everything!" He bellowed and threw his arms up in the air, storming away from Kurt and in the direction of the dorm buildings. Kurt's mouth hung open in a mix of confusion and surprise, following the path he left with his eyes.

Wes and David ran up to Kurt quickly, having heard Blaine's exclamation. David looked at Kurt's hurt face and took off in the direction Blaine went, while Wes placed a reassuring hand on the young boy's shoulder. "Don't take it personally, Kurt. He's like this to everyone when he's jonesing." Wes patted his shoulder and joined him in watching the place where Blaine and David left. Kurt blinked a few times and turned to face the Asian boy.

"…'Jonesing'…?" He repeated dumbly, quirking an eyebrow.

The boy pursed his lips slightly and furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "I – Yeah. I mean, you know. He's been shooting up again, so he's been having the cravings again," he sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and looking at the floor. "But it's just like this for a little while, so don't get too worked up over his little outbursts." Kurt didn't respond, disturbed at how lightly these boys were all taking such a serious addiction. "Well, anyway. I'm gonna go follow them, so I'll see you in group, then?" Kurt nodded numbly in answer and Wes patted him on the shoulder again. "Alright, well, take it easy, Kurt."

* * *

><p>David was about to knock on Blaine's door when Wes appeared next to him, slightly out of breath from running. He turned to the Asian boy with a curious look. "Kurt okay?" He questioned, remembering the hurt look on the pale boy's face when Blaine yelled at him.<p>

"Yeah, yeah... Is he pissed?" Wes asked, pointing towards the door to indicate Blaine. David shrugged.

"I dunno, yet. I was just about to go in there. We're supposed to start soon anyway, so wanna…?" He trailed off and motioned the door, implying that they both go in. When the Asian boy nodded, David knocked loudly a couple times and waiting back patiently. They heard a hum in response coming from inside the room and opened the door.

Blaine was lying flat on his back on his bed, his eyes half-closed and droopy. There was a cigarette sitting lazily between his lips and both of his hands were resting on either side of him. His eyes glanced up to the two boys when they entered the room. David's eyes flew to his left arm where his sleeve was rolled up past his elbow. He opened his mouth to say something, but Blaine cut him off.

"Close the door," he mumbled around his cigarette, then moved to take a drag and pull it from his mouth to release the smoke. Wes shut the door, not taking his eyes off the boy in bed, and sat down on Blaine's roommate's bed, next to David, facing Blaine. The curly-haired took another puff and his head lolled sluggishly to the side to face the two boys. "David?" He held up a pack of cigarettes, offering one to the dark-skinned boy, who raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement and moved to take one, lighting it and taking a small puff. "Wes?" He then presented the pack to the Asian boy who looked confused for a second before shaking his head. "Oh right," Blaine chuckled lowly. "Wesley quit smoking." He laughed again, tapping the ash from his smoke onto a plate on the table beside his bed.

David watched this action and his breath caught in his throat when he noticed the small piece of aluminum can and syringe laying casually on the tabletop next to a small green band of material. He jumped up and ran over to the table and fumbled quickly, disposing of the used cotton ball in the cut-off soda can bottom and turning towards the curly-haired boy who watched him with a bored haze.

"Fuck, B. You can't just leave this shit out. What if the RA – or a guard – came by to do a random check?" He rambled frantically, placing the supplies in the small box he found in the drawer and folding the carpet back, revealing the loose floor board. He pushed it up and placed the box in delicately, putting the board back in place and dropping the carpet down, like he had done so many times before. He looked at Blaine with an accusing glare and the boy simply shrugged in response and took a hit from his cigarette.

"When are the guys getting here?" He asked, not paying any attention to the other boy's worry. Both Wes and David looked a bit annoyed with their friend's behavior.

"In 15 minutes," Wes replied curtly, eyes narrowing with irritation. "Blaine, did you have to be such a dick to Kurt?" The curly-haired boy scoffed. "I'm _serious_, Blaine. I know you're all _moody_ and stuff, since you started using again, but Kurt didn't do shit."

"He was having fuckin'… eye sex. With Josh Byers… He did that much." Blaine mumbled, putting out his cigarette on the plate on the table beside his bed and rolling on his side, turning away from the two boys. David's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he shared a confused look with Wes.

"Is that what that was about…? You were jealous of-"

"No, damn it!" Blaine sat up and turned to face his two friends, moving his feet off the edge of the bed. "I told you already, I _don't like him._" He sighed and ran a hand through his curls. "It's just… Josh is an asshole. He's an _asshole_, and he's a _player_, and if Kurt's gonna hook up with anyone, it should be _me_, not _him._" Blaine huffed, shaking his head in emphasis.

"…So…" Wes drew out the word, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. "…You…_were_ jealous?" Blaine let out a frustrated sigh and fell onto the bed.

"Not…_jealous,_" he eyed the boys from his position on the bed, who were giving him knowing smirks laced with amusement. "I – really! Well… I mean, not jealous like that, anyway. Just in the sense that I want to fuck him. And that I should be the one to fuck him, not someone else… _Especially_ not _Josh Byers._" He said the name like it tasted badly.

"Whatever you say, B," David smirked and shared a look with Wes. Blaine sighed heavily and let his eyes flutter closed. They sat in silence for a minute or two before Blaine spoke again.

"You guys _know_ why I can't let myself like him…" He sat up and faced them with a hurt look. "Why I can't let myself like anyone." The two boys shared a somber look, their facing falling slightly. "And there's times when I just look at him – like at the party, when we were laying on the floor and when we were dancing – when I forget about everything. And I start to flirt with him, or let myself think about him." He shook his head, his eyebrows furrowing together. "And then I look down, and I see _this_," he held up his left arm, a bright red, fresh mark clearly visible. "And I remember why I don't drag other people into my life like that anymore. Or – or – I look around and remember we're at _this_ place," he gestured wildly around himself, "and you get your ass kicked if you have a gay relationship around here. People see it and they want to destroy it. And if you tell someone you _like_ them...? Those are _dangerous_ waters to tread." He shook his head slowly, eyes fixed on his lap.

"Blaine…" The boy in question looked up to see Wes looking directly at him with a sincere expression. "You can tell yourself those things. And you can convince yourself that you don't want a relationship. But you can't help who you like, or whether or not you like anyone at all." He shrugged, sighing quietly. "And as far as telling him about what you're feeling… Out of all people, I don't think Kurt would give you anything to worry about." Blaine blinked thoughtfully, then scoffed.

"Yeah, well, last time we said that, he cut open my shoulder and stabbed himself… But maybe you're right"

* * *

><p>Kurt stomped around campus, having a hard time appreciating the vast grounds and spacious landscaping. All his mind could focus on was Blaine and his addiction. He kicked a puddle that had pooled around the stairs near the main entrance to the office building and huffed in aggravation, walking out into a field that wandered away from main campus.<p>

_Why does he keep taking those stupid drugs that make him act like an asshole? And, more importantly, why do his friends let him destroy his body like that? Why don't they do something to make him stop?_

He blinked a few times and looked up to see a few drops of rain falling. Kurt sighed, pulling his uniform blazer tighter around himself in anticipation of the rain and started sprinting towards the indoors.

_Then again, here I am, not doing anything to make him stop. What do you do to make someone quit their addiction to hard drugs…?_

By the time he got inside the dorm building, he was soaking wet from the weather that decided to announce itself while he was outside. Sighing, he made his way towards the junior common room, brushing the water away from his face half-heartedly, stripping himself of his blazer and wincing at the pain the movement caused in his side. He sat down on one of the large leather couches and placed his sopping wet uniform on the back of his chair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his face in his hands.

_Why do I care about this miserable drug-addicted bad boy? What does it matter to me if he abuses his body and has mood swings…? _Kurt sighed and buried his face deeper into his hands. _Who am I kidding? I fell for this guy the second I first saw him raise that damn pierced eyebrow and flash that brilliant smile. _

But not just because he was a bad boy, or because his unruly, curly hair was beyond adorable, no. There was something else, something behind those honey-green eyes that went straight to his heart. Something about his face, when he let his façade fall, when he thought no one was looking, when he looked into Kurt's eyes, there was a surreal quality that he'd never imagined possible.

_From the first time his skin touched mine… _

He didn't feel it when he thought he was in love with Finn. He didn't see it when he had a crush on Sam. Something about this boy, this fragile, delicate, gentle boy, who tried so hard to be just the opposite. And seeing someone so fragile so close to breaking…

No. He wasn't going to have any of that.

No, absolutely not. One of these days at group, Kurt was going to call Blaine out on his problem. And he wasn't going to say what it was, because he wasn't stupid. Ratting someone out and telling a teacher that they were harboring illegal narcotics was never a good thing to do to a friend, but one of these days, maybe after he got to know him a little better, he was going to do something about this boy's problem.

But first, he needed a shower.

* * *

><p>As Kurt headed up the stairs to his floor, a sound caught his attention. At first, he thought it was a radio or stereo, just someone playing a song in their dorms, the singer of the song the only thing audible.<p>

_Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash  
>You tossed it in the trash, you did<em>

He shrugged it off and continued making his way to his room. _I've never heard that version of that song before…_The singer's voice was smooth and even. When a chorus of vocals sounded behind the singer, very slightly off-key, he froze. That wasn't the radio... He quickly made his way over to where the noise was coming from, but it stopped before he could determine which door it was originating from. Soon, a voice began speaking from the same direction the music had been coming from.

_"No, no, no. That was terrible. Absolutely terrible." _Why did that voice sound so familiar…?

_"Shut the fuck up, Wes." _Kurt's eyes widened. He approached the door he heard the voices originating from and quirked and eyebrow. It was Blaine's room. That singing voice… Surely it wasn't _Blaine_ who was…? It did have a familiar tone to it… He reached forward and gave a good three knocks on the door. The murmur of voices that was present before ceased immediately. Kurt, determined, knocked a few times more, this time louder and with more urgency. He heard someone whisper 'Open it,' and soon came face to face with a slightly drowsy-looking Blaine.

"Kurt," he seemed surprised. His eyes flickered back to behind him, where Kurt couldn't see, and then back to the young boy's face. "What – uh – what're you doing here?" When Kurt didn't respond right away, Blaine stepped outside the room completely and closed the door behind him, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against it. He looked at Kurt expectantly with an eyebrow raised. "What's up?"

Kurt was slightly taken aback by the boy's odd behavior. If he was right, and he _had_ been in his room singing, what was the big deal? Why was he acting so sketchy? "Um, Blaine. I may be mistaken, but was that you singing a minute ago?" His reaction was instant. His eyes widened immensely and his entire body stiffened. Dropping his hands to his sides, Blaine lowered his voice slightly.

"W-what?"

"Um. I walked by and I heard singing coming from your room…" Kurt said with narrowed eyes, watching Blaine's strange response.

"Oh. That."

…

"Yeah. That. Was that you singing? I heard some other people, too." Kurt said, tilting his head slightly, trying to think back to what he heard. "But either way, it sounded pretty good. Were you guys in that singing group-?"

He was cut off when Blaine made a shushing noise, eyeing a couple of students that walked by in the hallway. When Kurt tried to turn around and follow the other boy's gaze, Blaine grabbed his forearm and opened the door behind him, yanking him inside.

"Blaine, what are you-?"

"Sorry."

Kurt looked into the room and saw the group of students he was quickly becoming acquainted with. He quirked an eyebrow. "Was that _you_ guys singing in here…?" The boys all looked slightly embarrassed and exchanged a few nervous glances. Finally, Jeff spoke meekly.

"Y-yeah. I mean, kinda. We were kinda just doing whatever." The blonde boy nodded, looking down at his hands.

"Um… Why are you guys acting so weird about this…? Are you embarrassed to sing?" Kurt questioned hesitantly, taking in the timid expressions of the other boys. David let out a soft sigh and left his place on Blaine's bed to move to the other bed in the room, sitting next to where Kurt stood.

"Look. Kurt. In a place like this, _singing_ isn't exactly something you want to be known for. We kind of have to keep it on the down-low now."

"_Now?_" Kurt repeated.

"Well, I don't know if you heard, but before the Art and Music programs were suspended, Dalton had a show choir-"

"The Warbles, right?"

David shared a small smile with Wes. "_The Warblers,_ actually. Anyway, back when it was a choice for our extracurricular, no one really gave it any notice. Sure, I guess people thought it was kinda 'gay,' or whatever," he used air quotes. He raised an eyebrow and shot a quick look at Blaine before returning his gaze to Kurt. "No offense." Both boys shrugged. "But in general, it was just another class… _Now_, though," he sighed, eyes shifting to stare blankly at a place on the wall in front of him. "We have no… _excuse_ to want to sing. So we kind of have to keep it a secret."

Kurt nodded thoughtfully. "So… You guys don't have any backup music? Obviously, your funds dropped, so… you don't have any tracks or anything?" The boys shook their heads. "Well, you should do a cappella then!" He said excitedly, clasping his hands together in front of him. Wes let out a huff.

"We _are_ doing a cappella! Well… we're trying to anyway. Trying to sing loud enough as a whole so that we don't _need_ any backtracks." Kurt cocked an eyebrow. He then shook his head slightly.

"No, I mean, like, _real_ a cappella. Like, arrange the music that way. Or find music specifically made for a cappella choirs." Thad's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Like when they have guys just oohing and ahhing in the background?" He asked, a look of disbelief on his face.

"Yes! Absolutely! And they have background chorusing and – and – beat-boxing," he nodded, seeming to get excited at his own idea. "It would be fantastic! It would utilize your vocal skills wonderfully… May I ask, who was the lead singer I heard earlier?" He eyed each of the boys, until Nick stuck his thumb out in Blaine's direction. "You? Wow, Blaine, I'm impressed. It sounds like you had vocal training."

"I did," he smiled sheepishly. "When I was younger, my parents had me classically trained. I can also play a mean violin." He smirked, letting out a small chuckle that made Kurt's breath hitch. The young boy nodded, trying to clear his mind of what the noises Blaine made did to him.

"W-well, then," he cleared his throat. "I could help you guys, if you wanted. I know a few places online where you can find good arrangements. And also a few places where you can set up your own." He nodded enthusiastically. Trent looked at him with a questioning expression. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Do you sing, or something?" Trent questioned the young boy. Kurt paled. His heart sped up slightly and before he knew it, he was answering with a flat out lie.

"N-no. No, why?" He replied nervously, eyeing the bigger teen with worry obvious in his voice. Trent shrugged lightly with one shoulder, slightly taken aback by the other boy's defensive attitude.

"It just seems like you know what you're talking about," he shrugged again, glancing at the other boys in the room. Kurt sighed, running his fingers over the wet blazer he held in his hands. He shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.

"I just like music."

Why he turned down the possible opportunity to be in a singing group, after being disappointed when he thought the school's choir was cancelled, he wasn't sure. Maybe it was because that part of himself was still sensitive, still an open sore slowly healing. And joining another group and subjecting himself to the raw expression of emotion that came with singing was too much like putting salt on the wound. He had to let it scar before doing anything that might tear the skin again.

* * *

><p>That following Saturday, Kurt received a call from Finn, saying that he would be stopping by to drop off some of Kurt's things from the house. Because Kurt was new, and because it was the first time he had a visitor, the meeting was set up to be held in the junior common room with an advisor present. It was around 2:30 p.m. when Finn walked in, carrying a large box and looking incredibly nervous. He was guided in by a security guard, who was also carrying a box, and after putting it down near the door, the man gestured over to Kurt.<p>

When Finn's caught sight of Kurt, a series of emotions flickered across his face – relief that he had found someone he recognized in this unfamiliar place, shame that he had barely spoken to Kurt in months, and fear of the boy who he knew killed someone by stabbing them repeatedly in the chest.

Kurt, not fully sensing the taller boy's hesitance, leapt to his feet from where he was sitting in one of the room's leather chairs, and approached him, a small, unsure smile gracing his lips. "Finn," he breathed, eyes raking over the boy's face, mind flooding with memories of his old life. Finn stood, still holding the box in his arms with that awkward half-smile that Kurt knew so well. Now sensing his cautiousness, Kurt's face fell slightly before shifting back into a smile. "Here," he reached forward and grabbed the box from the taller boy's hands, placing it on the ground beside himself and turned back to face Finn. There was a beat of awkward silence before Kurt opened his arms up in a hug-offer and took a tiny uncertain step forward. "Can I…?" He trailed off, the unspoken words obvious.

Finn smiled timidly and nodded, reaching down to enclose the small boy in a light hug. Though once his arms were around Kurt, he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the boy in tightly, relishing in the feeling he didn't know he missed. Kurt closed his eyes as well, forcing back tears that were threatening to fall. Eventually, they both pulled away. Kurt gave a nervous giggle.

"Shall we?" He made a sweeping gesture to the leather seats around the room. One of the seats near where they were standing now, close to the door, was occupied with the required advisor, simply sitting with paperwork in her hands, filing through it and marking it up. It looked like she was grading papers. She didn't give the brothers a second glance. In the far corner, two chairs were placed, facing each other at an angle. Kurt made his way over to them and Finn followed suit. They both sat down and a small beat of silence filled the room, though it wasn't awkward or tense. "So… How have you been?"

Finn nodded slowly, a contemplative look on his face. "Fine, I guess. Things have been pretty much the same since you left." He replied with a shrug. Kurt felt his chest tighten up at Finn's response. Instead of voicing his hurt, he forced a small smile and nodded.

"That's good. I'm glad…" He swallowed audibly. "How's my dad?" Kurt asked in a smaller whisper, his curiosity evident in his voice. Finn's eyes fell to the floor, his brow furrowing slightly.

"The same." Kurt knew the question and answer sounded simple enough, but they both knew what they were _really_ talking about. The same, meaning his dad still had no desire to communicate with him. He nodded slowly, his lips pursing slightly as he tried to hide his disappointment. Finn seemed to notice. "So, how have _you_ been? I mean, this place looks a lot better than where you were before this, right?" Kurt looked at him with a deadpan expression.

"_Yes,_ Finn. An extravegant boarding school setting is much more pleasant than a jail cell. You're _very_ observant." He said this with attitude, but there was a teasing light in his eyes.

"…Was that sarcasm? Because I can never really tell when you're using it." The taller boy replied, sounding honestly confused and raising an eyebrow. Kurt let a loud giggle escape his lips, and when Finn laughed in response, the young boy broke out into a full-on laugh, bending over forward and clutching his sides, missing his stepbrother's simplemindedness. When he came in contact with his injury, he let out a hiss of pain, sitting back up and wincing slightly. Finn eyed him carefully, the smile falling off his face. "Are you okay, Dude?"

"I'm _fine_, Finn… And don't call me 'Dude.'" Kurt let out a huff. "_Honestly_," he rolled his eyes.

"…No, really. Like, you have a bunch of cuts all over your face. And is that-?" he leaned closer towards Kurt's face and inspected it closely, quirking an eyebrow. "What happened to your lip?"

Kurt's hand shot up to feel the tender skin on his lip that was slowly healing. He absently stroked the scabbing flesh as his mind flashed back to the day he had received the split in his lip. A small smile played at his mouth and he let his hand fall from his face. "There…were just…these…_guys-_"

"Wha – guys? I – did you – did some guys rough you up?" He stuttered, lowering his voice at the last part and glancing around nervously. Kurt chuckled lightheartedly, causing Finn to become even more confused. At this puzzled look, Kurt elaborated

"Don't worry about it, Finn. It was honestly just this thing my friends did to help me out." Finn nodded, still confused, before stopping and looking at Kurt directly in the eyes. Kurt's eyes widened slightly as well at the realization. He had used the term 'my friends' to describe his group here at Dalton. It was the first time he had used it to describe kids that were _not_ the Glee kids from McKinley. It was the first time in a while that he had to say '_my_ friends' to Finn, because they were usually talking about the same group of people. And it was the first time the wedge growing between him and his old life was truly obvious. And, regardless of his endearing lack of intelligence, it didn't go by unnoticed by Finn. He nodded thoughtfully after a few moments of silence.

"Well… As long as it wasn't some idiots trying to beat you up for, like, being gay, or whatever. But, uh, your…friends really messed your face up…? To… help you out…?" Finn's eyebrows furrowed together, like he was really trying his best to imagine a situation where that could be true. He seemed to come up with nothing, because he blinked a couple times and then gave Kurt an expectant look. The young boy nodded with an unsure smile on his face.

"It's… a long story, Finn. And I know it sounds bad, but the guys here – well my friends here, anyway – are _really_ not that bad. They're a little… _rough around the edges_," he smiled, "but they're good guys…" Finn nodded in response and there were a few moments of comfortable silence between the two brothers.

"Well, that's good, then. Just, uh, watch out for yourself around here, okay?" Kurt rose to his feet, feeling the end of their short visit nearing, and Finn quickly followed suit. "Mercedes misses you a lot." He offered randomly. Kurt's eyes shifted to the floor, a fond smile growing on his face.

"I miss her, too… I miss everyone." Kurt looked back up to face his stepbrother and offered him another hug, which the taller boy took. They stood there for a few, long moments, simply embracing.

"We all miss you, bro," Finn mumbled into the top of Kurt's head, his arms still wrapped around the smaller boy. "And…we all…like, still _love_ you, too. After everything that happened." They broke apart and Finn looked into Kurt's eyes, a little bit of an awkward smile on his lips. "I still… love you, Kurt." Kurt smiled at the extremely uncomfortable look he was receiving from his stepbrother, but nodded slowly.

"I love you too, Finn." The other boy seemed to look relieved that his awkward stepbrother-ly confession of love was reciprocated. He nodded slightly, a smile appearing on his face.

"Cool. Do – uh – do you want some help moving this stuff up to your room?" Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise, seeming to have forgotten the real reason Finn had stopped by.

"Oh. Right. Um, sure. Thanks, Finn." Kurt turned to get the box he had left near the advisor woman, who seemed to have left at some point, but stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of a curious-looking Blaine, one eyebrow raised, holding a large canvas bag in front of him and clearly watching the two boys' interaction. "Oh... Blai-"

"Kurt!" He was cut off when Wes ran into the room, stopping beside Blaine and yanking the bag out of his hands. He was followed shortly by a very excited Nick and Jeff. Jeff grabbed the freshly-snatched bag from Wes's hands and held it up triumphantly.

"We stole some stuff from the confiscation box!" The blonde-haired boy declared proudly. Finn, who had stepped up beside Kurt, eyed his brother questioningly. The pale boy sighed and gripped the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. Seeming to not notice his reaction, Nick began rifling through the bag's contents.

"There were like, _knives_ and _booze_ in there! We got the booze, left the knives. For the general safety of everyone, no offense… Oh! And we got the gay porn that was in there! Do you want it?" The dark-haired boy looked at Kurt with an excited expression. Kurt sunk his face into his hands and let out a muffled groan. Next to him, Finn let out an amused giggle.

"That reminds me. All that porn that was under your mattress is in those boxes I brought. Thought you might need those. The guy who searched the boxes when I came in didn't take them. But he did take your bondage pants." Kurt drew his hands slowly away from his face to reveal his expression of horror-mixed-with-disbelief. His mouth hung open in shock. Before he could talk, Finn continued. "You know, the ones with all the little chains and strappy things-"

"Finn!" Kurt yelled, looking at the shocked, amused faces of his friends standing in front of them. Blaine had on his signature expression of slightly-amused-though-curious, complete with the cocked pierced eyebrow. Kurt sighed with irritation. "Just – just go! I'll move the boxes into my room myself!" Finn nodded, slightly realizing he had embarrassed his brother. He shrugged and began walking towards the exit of the building.

"Uh, whatever. Just… actually answer your phone once in a while… Later!" And with that, he was gone, out the door. Kurt stared blankly after him and gave a weak wave, blinking, still in disbelief. He turned to face his friends. Wes opened his mouth with a smile, about to say something, but Kurt cut him off.

"Don't even say it! Just one of you grab that box over there." Kurt pointed to the box near the door and went to retrieve the other one near where the advisor was sitting._ When did she leave, anyway…?_ He turned around to see Nick struggling to carry the heavy box, his face twisted in effort.

"Shit, Kurt. How much kinky, gay bondage porn do you have in here?"

* * *

><p>"I can't believe Finn tried to bring my <em>bondage shorts<em>," Kurt moaned, covering his face. He shook his head and removed his hands, sliding down the wall of the Arts Building with a sigh.

"Didn't know you were kinky like that, Hummel." David said with an amused smile, standing next to him as he lit his cigarette.

"Shut up." Kurt smacked his leg from his sitting position, then raised his chin haughtily. "I purchased those shorts solely for _fashion_ purposes. There was no kinky business involved, whatsoever." The boys all laughed in response.

"Sure, bro." Trent replied with a chuckle and Kurt huffed. There were a few minutes of comfortable silence as the boys all relaxed, enjoying their free afternoon before dinner started. Blaine eyed Kurt from where he was standing next to David and cleared his throat, flicking the butt of his cigarette onto the ground.

"So, Kurt," the young boy looked at Blaine with curiosity, "you and Finn seem pretty close," he commented coolly. Kurt smiled with fondness and the curly-haired boy raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. In freshman year we were hardly acquaintances, but then last year when we-" He cut himself off. There was no need to tell these boys he was in Glee club. Not yet. Not until he was ready to reopen that part of himself. "We're… really close now. Well… it's sort of hard to be close to anyone _now_, but, you know what I mean."

Blaine nodded slowly, looking at the ground as he lit another cigarette and took a puff. "I heard him saying he loved you, and everything." He eyed Kurt, watching for his reaction. The young boy giggled at the memory and shook his head slightly, causing Blaine to give him a questioning look.

"I – yeah. He looked so _scared_ saying it. It was kind of hilarious." Kurt's smile grew, his eyes crinkling up slightly at the corners, remembering his awkward stepbrother's admission of brotherly love.

"…Why was he scared to say that?" Wes wondered out loud from his spot sitting next to Kurt. The pale boy shrugged slightly with one shoulder and brought his knees up to hug them.

"He's just never really said it outright to me like that before. And he's really awkward when it comes to stuff like that." Kurt laughed, then stared into the empty field in front of them. His nose caught a particularly strong whiff of smoke and he gagged. "Okay. I get trying to come off as a badass and everything, but do you guys really need to smoke _this much?_ I mean seriously," he waved his hand in front of his nose, "I bet you all have so much _tar_ in your lungs. You four smoke _way_ too much." Jeff snorted in response.

"Aw, come on, Kurt! You know you _waaant_ one!" The blonde boy took a cigarette from his pack and waved it teasingly in front of the other boy's face, who just swatted it away.

"No! I most positively do _not_ want one! Those things would ruin my-" _voice._ "You guys know those things ruin your voice, right?" Kurt gave them all a defiant glare. Next to him, Wes clapped his hands together and looked excited.

"That is the _smartest_ thing I have ever heard. We should all quit smoking! Guys, come on! You heard Kurt! Those things can ruin your voices!" The Asian boy seemed overly enthusiastic and Kurt raised an eyebrow, questioning the other boy's sanity. Thad pulled his cigarette from his mouth and looked at it with mock-horror.

"Oh my _God_. Cigarettes are… are _bad_ for you? Wesley is right, you guys! We should all quit and – wait… No, I meant to say, _fuck off Asian boy and let me enjoy my damn nicotine._" The dark-haired boy leaned against the wall and took a drag of his cigarette and blew it deliberately down into the Asian boy's face. Wes huffed and mumbled angry, incoherent words. Kurt continued to eye them all curiously, but shrugged it off.

"Well, _anyway_," Kurt began, changing the subject, "speaking of voices, are there any other people you guys can think of that might want to join the Warblers?" Nick gave him a disbelieving look.

"Kurt. We're not the Warblers. We just sing."

"Of course you're the Warblers. Just not… official, per say. But still the Warblers… Anyway, answer my question." The boys all glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Most of the guys from group were in the Warblers back when it was the class, but I don't know if they'd want to do it now." David replied, looking contemplative. "Why does it matter?"

"Well, if we have 12 members, we can host an invitational and compete in the sectional competition in a couple months, right? Maybe if we start an official club, they'll let us use the Arts room, and we can get other people to-"

"Sorry, Kurt. They won't put out funding for a club unless we have something to show for it. We already tried this at the beginning of the year when classes first started." Blaine gave him an apologetic look and shrugged. One of Kurt's eyebrows shot up and his face shifted to a look of confusion.

"…'Something to show for it'?"

"Yeah. Like, if we're able to perform a show or put on an invitational-"

"And how are we supposed to do that without funding?" Kurt demanded harshly, throwing his arms up in exasperation. The boys sighed in response, looking troubled.

"Exactly," David replied, nodding his head solemnly. "But, I guess we can still sing for fun, right? Even if we don't get anything for it."

"No. No, we are going to get more members. And we're gonna put on an invitational and go to sectionals. Without their stupid funding." Kurt decided firmly.

"And how do propose we do that with our lack of money and place to practice? As much as I love singing in Blaine's cramped dorm, I don't think 12 guys are gonna fit in there." Wes asked sarcastically.

"Well, you break into the Arts Building when you party, right? Why can't we just use _it_?" Kurt suggested casually, sticking his thumb behind him to the wall, motioning towards the room. David dropped his cigarette butt to the ground and crushed it under his foot. He ran his hand over the top of his head in thought, sighing. The dark-skinned boy slid down the wall next to Kurt and turned to face him.

"What about music? The Arts room has a piano, but it's hardly loud enough to backup an entire choir of guys. Do you really think we could pull off a cappella?" David asked him seriously. Kurt's lips twitched up in a mischievous smile.

"Absolutely. And don't worry about the music. I'll take care of it."

* * *

><p>"And so it's like… One side of the equation has a square root… So you have to square both sides to get rid of it." Blaine spoke slowly, eyeing the other boy and seeing his confused reaction. Thad narrowed his eyes.<p>

"Can't you just find the square root of what's inside and then you don't have to do that?"

"Well… _theoretically_, yes, but since it's not a perfect square and have to work each part of the expression separately-"

"Fuck it. I'm done. This is stupid. Let's go back to working on the theme thing for Mr. Goff." Thad closed his math book and notebook passionately and slid it across the floor where they were sprawled out on their stomachs, doing homework. Blaine let out a low chuckle.

"If you say so. It's not me fuckin' failing. Besides, I'm already done with the theme analysis." He laughed, watching Thad drop his head into his crossed arms exasperatedly, only bringing it back up to glare at him.

"Fuck you, B. You're too smart," the dark-haired boy grumbled, picking up his novel and filing through the pages absently. "Seriously. You get, like, A's and B's in _everything._ Fuck you." Blaine laughed in response, sitting up to grab something from his backpack and offer it to Thad. It was an open pack of cigarettes.

"Smoke away the troubles, my friend. Just embrace the nicotine." He giggled, taking one out when the other boy didn't move to do it himself. He presented the stick to Thad who accepted it immediately and held it in his left hand as he scribbled something on a notebook with his right.

"Thanks," he mumbled, eyes flickering to Blaine as the boy placed the pack in his bag after drawing one out for himself. He lit his own and then held the flame of his lighter out to Thad. After taking a quick puff, the dark-haired boy watched Blaine do the same. "Maybe we _do_ smoke too much," he laughed, causing Blaine to break out into a fit of giggles himself.

The door swung open a few minutes later and neither boy took their attention away from their homework. Kurt walked in, glancing down at the two momentarily. "Hello, Thad. Blaine." He raised an eyebrow at the latter, taking in his face of immense concentration as he scribbled on his paper hastily. The cigarette in his left hand was burning away, ash threatening to fall. At the sound of his name being called, Blaine glanced up to see the pale boy giving him a curious look, and flashed a small smile.

"Hey, Kurt." And then he was back to focusing solely on his assignment which, upon closer inspection, Kurt recognized as the French translations that were due Tuesday. Kurt sat on the edge of his bed and watched the two boys working frantically, and smiled.

"What are you guys up to?" Thad glanced up, seeming to only now notice his roommate's presence.

"I needed help with Algebra 2, and Blaine needed help with French, so I told him to come over. But I'm working on English now." Kurt couldn't get over the fact that his roommate sounded like an innocent kindergartener describing his assignment to his mother. Kurt nodded, then stopped and narrowed his eyes.

"But you're not in French, Thad." Blaine snorted, not taking his eyes away from his assignment.

"Shows how much I pay attention in that class. Ha! Done!" He closed his book triumphantly and held his paper up, as if challenging anyone to deny his finished assignment. He stood up and collapsed face first onto Thad's bed, his cigarette still dangerously heavy with ash, hanging off the side of the bed in his hand.

"For _God's sake_, Blaine," Kurt walked over and took the empty soda can from the table beside Thad's bed and held it under the offending cigarette. He tapped it himself and the ash fell into the makeshift ashtray he'd seen his roommate use on many occasions. The boy on the bed raised his head and watched Kurt's actions with a curious expression. "You're going to get that nasty stuff _all_ _over_ my carpet," Kurt shook his head with a huff. Blaine chuckled and sat up, flipping over to sit against the pillows.

"Like Thad doesn't get ash on _everything._ Look at him right now." He gestured to the boy still on the floor, who was moving his hand away from his book to tap his cigarette onto the carpet. Kurt groaned and rolled his eyes, ignoring Blaine's giggles that made him squirm.

"Don't they care?" Kurt questioned as he tried to clean up the spot of ash from the rug. Thad closed his novel and notebook, seemingly done with his assignment, and stood up, leaving Kurt to attempt to clean up his mess.

"Who? About what?" Thad asked, shooing Blaine from his bed so he could lie down. Blaine scooted off the bed and onto Kurt's, sprawling out his arms and legs.

Kurt turned around to elaborate on his question and took in the sight of the boy on his bed. He sighed and rolled his eyes and took a seat on the edge of his bed, next to Blaine's feet, trying to hide the blush that came with being in such close proximity with this boy. "The guards. Or security, or whatever. That you guys smoke all the time. When they came in to do rounds last week, they didn't confiscate your cigarettes." Both boys laughed in response and Kurt quirked an eyebrow.

"They don't care about these," Blaine waved around the remainder of the smoke in his hand. "They care if we have, like, hard drugs and stuff. Which is why you gotta hide that stuff _really good_." He winked and Thad rolled his eyes.

"Kurt. Maybe you haven't noticed, but this place is basically a big scam. Our rich parents get expensive lawyers that convince people that we need a solid learning environment while we're counseled on bettering our behavior and criminal problems." He rolled his eyes. "And from the outside, this place is like a fricken' _majestic_, well-off, attractive prep school that just _happens_ to be here to do correctional services on our state's 'troubled youth.'" He used air quotes.

"And the tax payers don't care that they're paying so much for this place because most of the money is used to make it _look_ like we've got it all together, so they think it's doing great things. The huge campus, the nice lounges and dorm rooms,-"

"The uniforms." Thad added and Blaine nodded and continued.

"But really, this place is so corrupt that it's not even funny." Blaine took one last drag of his cigarette and plopped the butt into the soda can with a contemplative look on his face. "Well, it's kinda funny. At least for us. Because they don't even really check the visitors that come by, which is why we can get our drugs, and cigs, and booze and basically whatever else we want. It's like they think if we have the things that we want, we won't be too rebellious. Which I guess is sort of true… I mean, they send the visitors through metal detectors, so they can make sure no one brings weapons in… And they check packages of stuff, which is probably why they searched those boxes your boyfriend brought in yesterday-"

"My _boyfriend?_" Kurt squeaked. He gave the two boys looks of disbelief with wide eyes. Thad glanced at Blaine with a confused expression.

"Yeah, that Fred guy or whatever. _Finn._ Yeah, that Finn guy." Thad looked at Kurt with a cocked eyebrow, taking in his wide-eyed, shocked expression. The boy suddenly burst out into a fit of giggles, bending over and letting his head fall down as he shook with laughter.

"That's – that's my – that's – my _brother_!" He said through laughter, shaking his head with amusement. Blaine sat up slightly from his position on Kurt's bed and gave him a suspicious look.

"He didn't look anything like you…"

"Yeah, Blaine. He's my _step_brother. Christ… I mean, _trust me_, there was certainly a time that I thought about Finn in – in _that_ way, but," he let out another small giggle, "our parents are _married_ now." Thad and Blaine looked at each other, obvious surprise on each of their faces. Thad made a hum of acknowledgement and a smirk graced his lips.

"Huh. _Well_, that certainly simplifies the plans of certain people – ouch!" Blaine threw a pillow from Kurt's bed to hit the dark-haired boy in the face. "_Manners_, Blaine. _Sheesh_."

"Oh, fuck off, Thad. It was a _pillow._"

"Well, yeah, but the little corner hit my eye…" He pouted, picking at the corner of said pillow with his fingers. Kurt watched this exchange and blinked, confused.

"Wait… What plans are we talking about?"

"Nothing," Blaine replied quickly to Kurt, and then turned to Thad with narrowed eyes. "_Nothing._" Thad smirked in response and Kurt raised an eyebrow, blushing at the way _Blaine_ turned bright red.

* * *

><p><em>Ding! ding! ding! <em>

"Come on, guys!" Kurt tapped the piano key again, looking slightly annoyed. He sighed and stood up, moving towards Trent and pushing his shoulders back, straightening out his posture. "Keep your back straight and your stomach," he pushed slightly on the boy's stomach, "_in._" He walked back and sat down at the piano. "Let's start from the beginning."

He started on lower notes and waited for the group of seven boys to hit the note before moving his way up the scale. Kurt paused slightly before hitting the note that the boys kept getting stuck on. He eyed the key and tapped on it loudly.

_Ding! ding! ding! _

"_Ahhh_!" They chorused, hitting the note perfectly. Kurt beamed, showing a tiny bit of teeth in his smile, which was unusual for him.

"Excellent!"

Kurt watched the proud faces of the boys before him, realizing how little these boys probably got any praise at all. At a place like Dalton, so little was expected of you, and yet, when you did something right, they acted like it wasn't good enough. So much was taken away from these boys, from himself as well. Family, friends, familiarity. They were thrown into this alien world, regardless of whether or not they deserved it, and were stripped of all things they knew and the way of life they understood. Whether or not they admitted it, which, Kurt was sure, most of them would never, all they wanted was some kind of acknowledgement, recognition, someone to tell them that they were doing something, anything right in this new place. That they were doing something right at all.

"Really, you guys. That was really good." Kurt nodded, watching the light in each of their faces shine again, taking special note in the boy with the dark curly hair and hazel eyes.


	5. Heal

**A/N Omigod, you guys! Sorry it took a while.  
>This chapter is a little angsty (and also fluffy?) and leaves some stuff unanswered, but alas! There will be answers in the near future!<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"-not fucking listening to me! This is not some <em>fucking<em> joke!"

Kurt snapped awake at the sound of his roommate shouting. His eyes were fuzzy with sleep and he rubbed them with the heels of his palms hastily, trying to figure out what was happening.

"Thad, _please._ Just stop for a second-"

"Fuck off, Trent! Quit it!"

Kurt wiped the rest of the sleep out of his eyes and looked around frantically, only to see his room looking like it had survived some kind of natural disaster. It was hardly light out yet, and there were loose papers _everywhere_ and Thad's side of the room was almost completely covered in clothes. His roommate suddenly stormed over to his bed where a small suitcase lay haphazardly open and started shoving miscellaneous items into it. Kurt blinked and sat up straighter, watching as two boys – Trent and Jeff, he realized – followed Thad and tried to pull the things from his hands.

"Just listen to us, Thad. You can't do this now-"

"I _said_ fuck _off_, you guys!" Thad shoved Jeff squarely in the chest, and the lankier boy fell over backward and landed roughly against the desk in Thad's corner of the room, hitting the small of his back against the corner and letting out a hiss of pain. Trent approached the dark-haired boy and pushed him hard against his shoulder, pushing him down to sit on his bed, causing him to halt in his actions.

"Listen, bro. Cool the _fuck_ off and listen to us. You're on probation already for breaking curfew last month, and ditching campus is only gonna get you _that_ much closer to getting expelled." The dark-haired boy scoffed in response. "I'm fucking _serious._ Just wait 'til the weekend and have someone call in a pass-"

"That's the _thing_, Trent. He was the one who always called in my passes! I have to do this-"

"Then talk to the dean! Talk to the RA, or counselor, or Ms. Webber or someone! Maybe they'll understand the situation and give you a pass!" Thad simply shrugged off Trent's attempt to convince him with a shake of his head and resumed packing clothes into the suitcase. The bigger teen sighed exasperatedly and turned to face Jeff, who was leaning against the desk he had fallen into with his arms crossed. "Jeff, man. Help me out, here." The smaller boy simply shrugged in response, a look of annoyance etched onto his face.

"Forget it. He's gonna do whatever he _damn well_ pleases... Nothing new there." The blonde boy muttered the last part and began walking towards the door when he noticed the very puzzled, wide-eyed Kurt sitting up in his bed, giving them all confused stares. Jeff shared a long look with the boy, not saying any words, and stepped through the door, closing it behind himself.

Trent eyed the path of the other boy as he made his way out the door and then, too, caught sight of Kurt and sighed. He turned back around to face Thad.

"Listen, bro. I hate doing this, but if you keep packing up to leave like this, I'm gonna go wake up the RA, or – or warn the guards, or something. We can't have you doing shit like this." And with that, the bigger teen exited the room, not pausing to hear or see any reaction from Thad.

Kurt turned to watch is roommate, who had stopped in his hasty attempt in packing and stood, facing away from him with his hands on his hips. Kurt could hear his fast, angry breathing. Thad suddenly chucked the open suitcase off his bed and it hit the wall with a loud _bang!_ and the previously-packed belongings scattered to the ground. Kurt inhaled sharply at the sound and his roommate whipped around, eyes dark with rage and his breathing heavy and quick, fuming.

"_What_? Don't fucking look at me like that, Kurt!" He bellowed, taking a threatening step towards the young boy. Kurt simply stared at his roommate, a blank, confused expression on his face. Thad let out a frustrated sigh and stormed into the attached bathroom, slamming the door violently, causing the pens, and pencils, and other items sitting on the boys' desks in the room to rattle slightly.

Kurt blinked a few times and shook his head, trying to come out of the confused trance. Why was Thad trying to leave…? Kurt sighed. He'd most likely never be able to guess and he'd probably end up hearing more about it later. Kurt craned his neck to find the clock on his bedside table.

_5:42 a.m._

_You've got to be kidding me. _The first class on Wednesday didn't start until 8:00. And even then, Kurt's first class was his required extracurricular, which ended up being _track_, much to his dismay, and he usually skipped out on his shower in the morning and, instead, opted to take one after his grueling physical education. This being said, he usually didn't get up until 7:00, enough time to do his skin routine and get down in time for breakfast at 7:30. There was no reason in hell that he should be up at this ungodly time of day.

He sighed and scanned the room, taking in the mess before him as he heard the shower start to run from the bathroom. He stood up, realizing he wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, and slowly began putting away his roommate's things. Kurt picked up Thad's clothes slowly and folded them neatly before placing them carefully into his drawers, hanging the uniform shirts and blazers up in the wardrobe and placing the suitcase in his closet.

He saw a crumpled, bright orange note sitting on the floor next to Thad's homework pages, the kind that came from the office, usually informing a student of a meeting set up with the dean or counselor, or a message from home. Knowing it most likely had to do with whatever had happened this morning, Kurt folded it closed and placed it on his roommate's table, beside his bed, respecting his privacy. He collected the loose sheets from the floor and tried to make sense of them and organize them somewhat, laying them in small stacks on his desk.

The bathroom door flung open and Kurt turned around to see steam emerging out of the room in waves, and Thad standing, clad in only a dark navy towel, taking in the neat room from the doorway. The dark-haired boy blinked a few times, an unreadable expression on his face, and stepped fully into the room and to his wardrobe, taking out a uniform blazer and oxford shirt. He opened the drawers to pull out a pair of slacks and Dalton-issued P.E. wear for his first class, which he shared with his roommate, but stopped when he heard the bathroom door close. Thad turned around and saw his roommate was no longer next to him.

"Thank you," he muttered, though he knew the other boy most likely couldn't hear him.

Kurt sighed as he entered the bathroom, taking in his haggard appearance in the mirror. The cuts on his face from a week and a half ago were almost completely healed, and the bruise around his mouth was a sickly yellow color, though not very noticeable. The only thing that had _improved_ about his appearance since he'd arrived was the general quality of his skin. Since Finn had given him his things a few days ago, he'd been able to get back into his moisturizing routine.

He dragged his hands over his face and let out a shuddering breath. _I might as well take a shower… I have nothing better to do for over an hour._

Just as he was reaching to grab the handle of the hot water, a loud _thump!_ against the wall made him jump back in surprise. It was coming from the wall that connected to the dorm next to his. _That's Jeff and Nick's room…_ He heard a voice shouting, but it didn't sound like either of the room's resident's, and then a grunt of pain and something hit the wall again. _What is going __on__ in this place…?_

Kurt shook his head in annoyance and turned on the shower, stepping under the spray of hot water and sighing as some of his tension eased. He suddenly came to a realization that he was at a _reform_ school. Of course weird things could be going on. And of course there would be guys yelling, and throwing stuff, and having drama at 6 in the morning. As much as Kurt liked to pretend Dalton was some kind of fancy prep academy, with its hallowed halls and leather-chaired common rooms, it was really a teenage correctional school. The guys here were _here_ for bad reasons. They were here because they had done something wrong, something illegal. And as much as Kurt liked to play along with his friends' childish antics and live in their little bubble of false innocence, the truth was, everyone here, himself included, were bad guys who did bad things.

"Holy shit! Nick!"

Kurt jumped again, dropping his bottle of shampoo when he heard the familiar voice shouting from the room next to him. There was no mistaking the vocal quality of his blonde, lanky friend, one of the voices he woke up to this morning screaming and arguing. Now something apparently was happening next door as well. Kurt sighed and picked up his shampoo bottle from the shower floor. Maybe he'd survive this place…

* * *

><p>Thad, Kurt, Trent and David made their way to the Arts Building after track, deciding to spend their hour block of free time with their friends.<p>

"I just don't understand. I made it specifically clear that I wanted the auto-shop class. And they said 'okay.'" Kurt slid down the wall and took a seat next to Wes. "Doesn't 'okay' usually mean… _okay_?"

"Maybe they thought you were kidding," David suggested, rubbing his hands up and down his arms in an attempt to get warm. "I mean, honestly, Kurt, if you told me you wanted to fix cars and build engines, _I'd_ think you were kidding."

"Yeah," Trent agreed, and Kurt narrowed his eyes at them.

"_Still_. They give me the class I don't want, and now they're surprised when I don't do the stuff they want me to do. I mean, _who_ in their right mind likes running around in this weather?" He gestured wildly around himself. "It's freezing today! So much for our Indian summer…"

"'Indian summer'?" Blaine looked at Kurt with a quirked eyebrow as he offered his lighter to David. "It's been raining for two weeks straight. How is that an Indian summer? You should be thankful it wasn't raining today." Kurt huffed and wrapped his arms around his body.

"Maybe. But it was still unseasonably _warm_ while it was raining. Now it's just clear and _freezing._ It feels like it's gonna start snowing soon." Kurt looked up to the sky, glaring at it, as though it would reveal all of its upcoming weather secrets. Next to him, Wes scoffed and bumped shoulders with him to get his attention.

"It's late October and we're in Ohio. It'd be weird if it _didn't_ start snowing soon." Kurt shrugged in response and a silence fell over the boys.

A few moments later, Nick came walking up to the wall and leaned against it, looking tired. Kurt's eyes widened as he saw the boy's left eye was swollen and bruised. He glanced around the group, trying to determine if anyone else had seen it, and they were all staring at the boy with pitiful, upset looks. Eventually, they all turned their attention away from the dark-haired boy, none of them saying a word about his black eye. Kurt squirmed, uncomfortable, and looked down to his hands, trying to figure out what was going on. He gave one last look at the group of boys and saw Jeff watching Nick out of the corner of his eye as he took a hit from his cigarette, a hurt, pained expression etched on his face. Nick didn't seem to notice as he stood and stared off into the vacant field ahead of them.

* * *

><p>"Like this?" Jeff looked up to his lab partner to see him staring off at a place next to Jeff's head. He held the beaker up and waved it in front of the pale boy's face. Kurt stared longingly at the curly-haired boy across the room, fumbling with his chemicals as he poured them into his beaker. Even from this distance, Kurt could tell they were incorrectly measured. A low chuckle resonated from Blaine's throat and Kurt felt that familiar twitch run through his body. His dick jerked and stiffened slightly, his cheeks flushing with color. "<em>Kuu-urt<em>," his lab partner said in a singsong voice, snapping Kurt out of his haze. The boy looked at Jeff with a raised eyebrow expectantly, and crossed his legs in front of him, attempting to hide his obvious arousal. "I _said_ 'like _this_?'" He presented the beaker to his partner, the thermometer attached to the side. Kurt blinked at it a few times, trying to remember what they were doing. He shook his head slowly.

"No…" He drew out the word, taking it from the blonde boy's hands. "No, see, the thermometer can't touch the bottom, or else it's going to read wrong." While he was adjusting it, Jeff peeked around his shoulder to see what Kurt had been staring at. Blaine and David were stationed at the lab next to theirs, laughing as their beaker's contents were overflowing and spilling onto the table. Jeff smirked knowingly. Before he could say anything, Kurt let out a frustrated grumble and ran his hands through his hair that was falling into his eyes.

"My _bangs_ are just getting much too long. I need to trim them. Well, _really_, I needed to trim them about a month ago, but you can't have scissors in _jail._" He scoffed, pouring the prepared mixture into the beaker and placing it on the hotplate. Jeff's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"You cut your own hair?" Kurt nodded slowly, eyeing the boy in front of him, as though it were obvious. Jeff perked up. "Do you – can you cut other people's hair? Can you cut my hair?" Kurt raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"You want me to cut your hair…? I mean – I can do it, I know how. I'm just surprised. I thought you had the whole fringe over the eyes thing happening on purpose."

"Oh! No – yeah. I do! I mean – I want to keep that… The f-fringe thing, or whatever. I just want to cut the back a little. It tickles my neck." Kurt chuckled, amused again at how these kids could so easily switch between sounding like five year olds to imprisoned criminals. This time, it being the former.

"No, of course. Absolutely. I understand… Just…come by after the last class today."

"…This is the last class today, Kurt."

"Oh! Well then, in that case, we're gonna need some scissors... Can you snatch the ones over by the teacher's desk?" Jeff scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"The fact that you even _ask_ insults me."

* * *

><p><em>Snip! snip!<em>

"There. What do you think?"

"Wow… How'd you do the back without looking like that?" Jeff stared in awe at the pale boy's head, his eyes raking over the expertly trimmed layers and detail.

"I've just done it so many times to myself that I can sort of _feel_ where to cut... Anyway, let's get you started! Sit down." Jeff sat down on the chair Kurt had placed in front of the mirror that hung on the inside of his wardrobe door. Kurt draped a towel around the blonde boy's shoulders and took a few moments inspecting his hair with a critical eye. "So you just want a trim? Like, say, a half an inch taken off from the bottom?" Jeff blinked a few times, slightly confused, then reached his hand to feel the hair by his neck. He nodded slowly.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Just from the back, though."

"Right. Well, take your necklace off." Jeff shot Kurt a narrow-eyed glare while he unclasped the chain around his neck.

"It's a _dog tag_," he mumbled irritably, dropping said chain onto the floor beside his chair. Kurt blinked in response and began combing through the boy's hair.

"I'm sure it is. Now, hold still, unless you want this all uneven." A few moments of silence passed as Kurt trimmed the boy's hair, until Kurt spoke up again. "Jeff… What happened to Nick this morning…? To his eye..." The blonde boy sighed.

"…He, um… He owes this guy money… And to be entirely honest, I'm not even sure what it's for this time, but what I _do_ know… is that he doesn't have it." Kurt nodded thoughtfully, taking all the information in.

"Is that – did the thing with Thad have to do with that, too?" Kurt watched as Jeff furrowed his eyebrows in thought and pursed his lips slightly. He let out another sigh.

"…No." He looked at Kurt through the mirror to see his face. "But that's really not my thing to tell. If Thad wants you to know, he'll tell you."

"But it's perfectly fine telling Nick's private business," Kurt countered, a slight attitude to his voice. Jeff's eyes widened and he had to resist whipping his head around to face the other boy.

"No, no, no. See – first of all, me and Nick are, like, best friends. We've known each other since we were, like, seven. And second, the thing going on with Nick, that's not a secret. You could ask anyone – everyone knows that shit. But the whole thing with Thad… It's kind of private. I'm not sure he wants too many people to know. You know how he can be kind of private about stuff…" Kurt considered all this for a second, then nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose. _Blaine_ can kind of be like that, too…" He trailed off for a moment and then spoke with a lighter tone. "I didn't know you and Nick were friends before you got sent here." Jeff raised an eyebrow curiously, noticing the obvious diversion away from his mention of Blaine.

"Um, _yeah_… We got sent in here together for jacking a car… Wait, what do you mean about Blaine, though?" Kurt spun Jeff's chair around to look at the front of his hair.

"Do you want me to shape up the front? It's kind of shaggy-looking... It won't even look shorter." The blonde boy nodded in response. "…Well, just that he can be all secretive around me. Or standoffish, I guess…" He titled his head sideways in thought as he very carefully took a small snip off of the hair in front of him. "But, only sometimes. I mean, _sometimes,_ he's, like, really open and talks to me about his day, or whatever. And then sometimes, he acts like I'm not his friend and that I'm just _following_ him around, asking him questions and bothering him. It's weird…" Kurt brushed some snippets of hair from the Jeff's cheek. "But I guess that's just the drugs, or whatever. Like, mood swings, right? I don't know. It's confusing. Especially considering…" He trailed off and shrugged, stripping the towel from the blonde boy. "Well, voila! What do you think?"

Jeff looked into the mirror at his freshly cut hair and smiled. "Wow. Cool, Kurt. It actually looks really good. Thanks. I can see what you mean, now, about the front looking shaggy before…" Kurt giggled and dusted off the boy's back where some hair had fallen, regardless of the towel. "Um… What were you saying before, though? Considering _what_, exactly?" Kurt's smile fell and he sat down on his bed gingerly. He watched as the other boy took a seat across from him on Thad's bed.

"Well… I guess it's probably pretty obvious, anyway. And there's no use trying to hide it because nothing's going to come from it…" Jeff gave him a nod, urging him to continue. "But you can't tell him. You can absolutely never tell him about this." Jeff nodded again, gesturing with his hand for him to continue. "I…_think_…I might _possibly…_have feelings…for Blaine." The blonde boy in front of him smirked. "Don't give me that look! I just… Something about him… I can't figure it out. He really confuses me with his behavior, and yet I find myself not being able to…_resist_ him!" He let out a groan. "I'm so pathetically helpless!"

"…Kurt…" Jeff looked at the boy with a serious expression. "I'm going to be honest with you. When it comes to stuff like this, like _relationship_ stuff… Blaine is generally bad news." Kurt covered his face with his hands and let out a small muffled groan. "But – but I'm not saying he's like that all the time! It's just what I've seen before. I've never really seen him in a real…_relationship_, I don't think_._ Not that he _couldn't_ be in one…" Kurt removed his hands from his face and stared at the other boy as he spoke. Jeff blinked thoughtfully a few times before continuing. "Blaine… He kind of treats _sex_ and _guys_ a certain way, and I'm not sure you want to get mixed up in that," he shrugged. "But I could be wrong... I'm just giving you a heads up." Kurt nodded, a pained, thoughtful expression on his face. He sighed.

"Well… Thanks for the…_advice_, Jeff…"

"No problem... Thanks for the haircut!"

* * *

><p>"Okay… 13th."<p>

"…Oh! The – the duck one!"

"…The du – what…?"

"You know! The duck one… Lame Duck!" Nick laughed and shook his head at the Asian boy.

"Nooo, Wes. No, not even close. That's the 20th amendment. This one's the one that has to do with the abolishment of slavery." He laughed, watching the disappointment on Wes's face turn to anger. The Asian boy let out a frustrated sigh and buried his head in the pillow on the floor.

"Screw this. I'm gonna fail so fucking hard. I hate this shit." David eyed the boy from where he was sitting in one of the leather couches, texting on his phone.

"Don't be such a little bitch, Wes. We're _all_ gonna fail and we've accepted that. Just embrace your defeat and get over it." Wes's head snapped up from the pillow and eyed the curly-haired boy across from him, sitting on a pillow with his Government textbook open in his lap in front of him.

"Except _Blaine._ Blaine's not going to fail. He's gonna get a fucking A like a little bitch." He let out a huff and collapsed back into the pillow. Blaine glanced up from his reading with a cocked eyebrow.

"Uh... I wouldn't be so sure about that. I'm really bad at memorizing things like this." Trent sighed and stood up from one of the leather chairs.

"Fuck this. I'm totally done with this crap. We've been here for, like, two hours and all we've done is argue over the pronunciation of that one guy's name, and figure out the most creative way to kill ourselves with the textbook. I'm going to bed." Most of the guys made noises of agreement and stood to follow his lead. Blaine noticed Kurt putting his textbook into his bag.

"Kurt!" The young boy turned around and raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement. "Do…you wanna, maybe, come to my room to study a little bit more before we go to sleep? My roommate has a counseling session until curfew, so it would just be us." The pale boy flushed a bright crimson and Blaine smiled sincerely, looking over Kurt's blushing cheeks with a fond, honest smile. Jeff locked eyes with Kurt as the blonde boy was leaving the common room and gave him a knowing look. Kurt turned back to Blaine.

"Um… I'm actually pretty tired, Blaine. And I got most of this stuff down, anyway. Thanks, though." Blaine furrowed his eyebrows together before his face shifted into an indifferent expression and he scoffed, shrugging one shoulder lightly.

"Whatever, then. See you tomorrow." The curly-haired boy flung his bag over his shoulder and stalked away, obvious attitude in his stride. Once the boy was completely out of the room and out of earshot, Kurt let out an angry grunt. He snatched his bag from the floor and took long, livid strides towards the second exit of the room, leading to the outside of the building. There was no way he was going to face anyone right now.

_Who does he think he is? He acts like a little flirt all the time and then becomes an asshole when I tell him no, or when he all of a sudden feels like it. Is it even the drugs making him moody? Or is it just him trying to be a player and getting bitter when he's shot down?_

Kurt stomped outside into the cool air, taken by surprise at just how chilly the night was. He kept his head down and forced his way through the cold weather, pulling his blazer tighter around himself.

_If what Jeff says is true, then why am I even bothering with him at all? I let myself drift off and daydream about him, and think about all the little things about him that fascinate me, but I know that he's really just trying to get with me. Then… why does sometimes he sound so incredibly sweet and caring…?_

Kurt let out another aggravated noise, sitting down firmly on a bench that lined the sidewalk between the dorm building and the Science wing. He rummaged through his bag and yanked out his phone, checking the time. He still had 22 minutes before curfew, and he was planning on using all of those precious minutes to cool off before heading back to a place where he had to interact with people. Kurt let his eyes flutter shut and tried to focus on controlling his heavy breathing.

_I've gotten my heart broken every time I've let myself be vulnerable and put myself out there. That is not happening again. No, definitely not. I'm not going to let myself fall for another guy who is just going to stomp on my heart. Another guy who will rise up my spirits with the idea and feelings of being in love, only to have them come crashing down in a disastrous fall. No. I'm not letting him use me. That's all he's doing, trying to use me, and it's not going to work. _

* * *

><p>"Oh, shoot. I think I left my jacket in the fitting room." Kurt stopped in his tracks and sighed. He turned to the girls standing next to him. "I'm gonna go back and see if it's still there."<p>

"Do you want us to come with you?" Tina asked him, turning to face the pale boy. _Yes! Yes, come with me! Don't let me leave alone!_

"No, don't worry about it. It's late, anyway. I drove here by myself, so it's fine. I'll see you girls Monday!" He kissed both Tina and Mercedes on the cheek and turned on his heel, heading back in the direction of the small boutique they had just left. A loud club was blasting music as he approached it, and he barely heard the man calling after him.

"Wait up, faggot."

Kurt spun around sharply, seeing four men looming over him, the one leading the group, a man with greasy-looking tan skin and dull, black hair.

He knew what was coming next. He always knew what happened next. He knew this was just a dream, a nightmare, but he was never able to wake up.

A swift punch to the nose and he was being dragged into the alley next to the club with the booming music.

_No! Stop! Don't do it! P-please don't rape me!_ He was yelling, but no one heard him, not even the men. It was just him yelling in his third-person dream perspective. He saw himself as though he was watching a movie unfold, being held down by the men as the others beat him. He saw himself, but he couldn't do anything to help. He knew what was coming, he'd replayed it in his mind a thousand times, but his foolish earlier self didn't, and he didn't fight hard enough.

_Stop! Stop! Just stop! Get away!_

"Kurt!"

Who was calling his name? Was it Mercedes? Or Tina? Was someone coming back for him? To save him from his hellish repetition of this nightmare?

_Help me! Oh God, please! _

"Kurt, wake up!"

Kurt's eyes shot open, and he instantly squeezed them closed again, cringing at the burn of the tears in his eyes. He sobbed violently, his back heaving and shaking fiercely with each breath. He noticed the warmth around him coming into focus and realized a pair of arms was wrapped tightly around his waist, forcibly trying to hold the boy still and control his shaking.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. Come on, it's okay. You're awake." Kurt knew that voice. He blearily forced his eyes open and his vision was filled with a scruffy jaw and chin. Soft lips were pressed against his temple for a quick second, and the arms that were around him ran up and down his sides hastily. "Shh, shh. It's okay, it's okay." The voice sounded more frantic than comforting, like he was trying to calm Kurt down, but he had no idea how. His blurry vision filled with dark, messy curls as the boy holding him rested his head on Kurt's shoulder and sighed shakily as the young boy's sobs began to subside. "Good, good. Come on, now, that's better. Shh." Blaine lifted his head from Kurt's shoulder and pulled away enough to get a good look at him. He searched the small boy's face with a pained expression and tilted his head to the side. He ran his hands up and down Kurt's back. "There. Now, come on, baby. Look at me… You okay?"

"W-why are you c-calling me that?" Kurt stuttered out brokenly through his remaining sobs.

"…What?"

"You k-keep calling me – calling me _baby_." The hands running up and down his back stopped movement immediately. Blaine pulled his hands away and dropped them to his side. Kurt looked down, only now realizing the position they were in. Kurt was partially sitting up against his pillows, on top of his covers, and Blaine was kneeling in front of him, his knees on either side of one of Kurt's thighs, his body pressed against the other boy's.

"I – sorry. I didn't realize I was – I was just trying to – to calm you down… You were screaming in here..." Blaine removed himself from in front of Kurt and sat beside him, tentatively wrapping an arm around the young boy's shoulders. When he didn't pull away, he pulled him in closer and placed his other hand on Kurt's thigh. "Are you okay?"

Kurt eyed the hand placed on his knee with a flushed face and shifted his gaze to the curly-haired boy's face, who was looking at him with a concerned, expectant look. Kurt opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly stopped. He looked at the hand on his knee again and the arm around his shoulders, thinking about what Jeff said about Blaine. Kurt's face morphed into a scowl and yanked away from the other boy, rising to his feet next to his bed.

"I'm _fine_, Blaine. You don't have to run in here and use my nightmares as some excuse to feel me up! I've hardly been able to sleep as it is since I got here, and then you come in here and shake me awake from my nap." The other boy stared at him, his mouth open in shock, an incredulous expression on his face.

"Kurt… You were _screaming_ _bloody murder_ in here! Everyone's down in the common room studying and I – I came back up here to grab my French book! You – I heard you in here, so I came in to see if you were _okay_… I wasn't feeling you up!" He sat back against the pillows of Kurt's bed and crossed his arms over his chest, an angry expression taking over his features. "And don't bitch about me waking you up. I'm sure you'd rather be awake than still having that nightmare." Kurt opened his mouth as though to argue, but closed his mouth and sighed.

"Just…_go_, Blaine." The curly-haired let a quick hurt look flash across his face before moving to the edge of the bed. He swung his legs over the side and faced Kurt from his position on the bed.

"What's up with you, Kurt? I – I _like_ you, and I was starting to hope me and you could… I don't know, spend more time together... And I thought you liked me, and you've been acting all pissy around me the past few days. Did I do something to tick you off?" Kurt's irritated expression shifted to one of hurt. He turned around to face away from Blaine and let out a pained whine.

"…D-don't tell me you _like_ me, Blaine... I can't let myself… _do_ this, with you. I don't think I can handle it…" Blaine leapt to his feet and came around to approach Kurt's front. The young boy took a step back towards the bed and curled his arms around himself.

"Handle _what_…? Kurt, I… I want to _be_ with you…" The pale boy shook his head, overwhelmed, as tears started pooling in his eyes. "Yes, Kurt. I do. I _really_ do... _Let_ me…" He stepped closer to Kurt, watching his eyes the entire time he did so, and the small boy didn't move away. Kurt's breath hitched in his throat and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the warm pools of hazel that were presented before him. _I'm not gonna let this happen. I'm just gonna have my heart broken again…_ And yet he found himself not pulling away as Blaine wrapped one arm tightly around the his waist and pushed them both back until the back of Kurt's legs hit his bed, causing him to gasp lightly and hold onto Blaine's neck with both of his arms. Blaine slowly lowered him down, his other arm bracing them as they became horizontal.

Blaine set Kurt down entirely and lay gently on top of him, his legs on either side of one of the small boy's thigh, strangely similar to their position earlier. Blaine continued to hold Kurt's glasz eyes with his own, searching his face for anything that would tell him to stop. When he found nothing, he brought both of his hands to grip the boy's slim waist, pulling their hips flush against each other.

Without warning, he lunged down at captured the boy's lips with his own, causing the boy beneath him to inhale a sharp breath, taking a second before responding to the kiss. After getting over the initial shock, Kurt closed his eyes and began moving his lips against the other boy's slowly, bringing one hand up to tangle in the Blaine's curls and the other to grip his neck. Everything about it felt so right, like he was meant to be in this very position, beneath this very boy… Blaine's lips were shockingly gentle, in comparison to his rough hold on Kurt's waist and rugged attitude.

Blaine let out a low moan from the back of his throat and Kurt couldn't help the shudder that ran through his body at the sound. Kurt pulled away from the kiss, panting slightly from lack of oxygen and turned his face to the side, his eyes clamped shut. Blaine took this opportunity to kiss his way down Kurt's jaw and neck, stopping only to bite lightly against the boy's pale skin. As the boy started grinding his hips against Kurt's, the young boy pushed lightly against Blaine's chest, pulling away from his lips, suddenly thinking back to what Jeff had told him.

"Blaine," he breathed. The other boy hummed in response, resuming his devouring in the young boy's skin. "Blaine," he repeated, with more force, pushing again on the other boy's chest, forcing his lips away from his collarbone. Blaine pulled away and propped himself up on his arms, hovering over the small boy and looking down at him with concern, his lips swollen from kissing.

"W-what? What's wrong?" He asked, quiet and breathless.

"I – I just – I mean – what is this?" Kurt replied, his eyes wide and frightened-looking. Blaine looked utterly confused. He cocked an eyebrow and searched the young boy's face for some kind of explanation.

"_What_…? What is _what_?" Kurt sighed and scooted from underneath the curly-haired boy and sat up. Blaine furrowed his eyebrows and sat up as well, watching the young boy in front of him.

"…What is _this_?" Kurt gestured the space between them. "I don't usually just _kiss_ guys, Blaine. What is this…?" Blaine looked even more confused. He stared at Kurt, trying to make some kind of sense of what the boy had just said.

He didn't want to kiss him? He didn't usually kiss guys…? He didn't mean…? Was Kurt one of the guys who made a no-kissing rule and just slept with people? But… Did Kurt just want to hook up with him?

"I – you don't – do you not want to kiss? I can – I mean – we can just…_you know_…if that's what you want," Blaine stuttered, watching the young boy for his reaction. Kurt opened his mouth, ready to respond, but then hesitated. He looked confused and scrunched his face up in puzzlement.

"…What…?"

"…You know, like just have sex, or whatever. If you just want to do that, right away, we don't have to kiss..." The young boy's mouth fell open in shock, his eyes showing the obvious hurt.

"…_What?_" Blaine's face twisted back into a confused expression and he ran a hand through his curls.

"Um, well, I know some guys don't like to kiss when they hook up-"

"H-hook up – was that – is that all this was to you?" Kurt was horrified. He knew it. He _knew_ it. And he still let himself fall into the trap that was Blaine Anderson. He could only blame himself for this.

"What? No! Kurt, I-"

"Get _out_!"

"…Kurt-"

"_Get out_!" Blaine stood up and stumbled over to the door and Kurt followed him, shoving him out and slamming it closed behind him. The curly-haired boy stood, staring at the wall in front of him, completely stunned. Now Blaine was really confused… Wasn't it Kurt who had said he didn't want to kiss…? Is that not what he meant by that…? Blaine sighed. He really messed up.

* * *

><p>The door Wes and David's room flung open on the Saturday morning at 7:30 a.m. Wes opened his eyes and squinted at the door, still mostly asleep, to see a curly-haired boy standing in the doorway with a pout. He was about to ask him what he was doing there, but said boy sulked over to David's bed and collapsed onto it, face-first, toppling sideways across the dark-skinned boy's legs and letting out a muffled moan. David shot up, awake, and stared down at the boy lying across him.<p>

"Good morning, sunshine…" David greeted him in a monotone voice, his expression flat. "Any particular reason why you're sprawled out in _my_ bed, instead of _yours_?"

"Or better yet," Wes added, sitting up and facing Blaine with an annoyed appearance. "Why you're in here moaning to us, instead of waking up your own _roommate_?" They received a muffled, incoherent noise in response. "_Words_, Blaine. Use your _words_." Blaine held up his hand and flipped his middle finger at the Asian boy's condescending tone. He rolled over onto his back and exposed his face, twisted up in confusion and hurt.

"I _said,_ you know Justin hates me… Oh, you guys," he whined, staring at the two boys with a wounded expression. "Ifucked up with Kurt real bad," he then proceeded to bring his hands up to cover his face, letting out another low moan. The boys in the room shared a quick glance and Wes shrugged. David pulled Blaine's hands from his face gently.

"Uh… What happened, B?" David began uncertainly. It seems as though this was all it took for Blaine to shoot up into a sitting position, his face morphing into a look of frustration.

"He was all… _Ugh_! And we were there – and – and he was, like, _blah, blah, blah, don't wake me up!_" Blaine spoke in a high voice, appearing to be attempting to mock Kurt. Both Wes and David's eyes widened, watching their friend crumble into a hysteric, twelve year old girlish, mess. "And then, I was all 'I like you'! And he was like – well he didn't _say_ anything, but he was, like, whatever, and cool with it! And then we _kissed_!" He turned to face David and then Wes, as though challenging them to deny it. "_Oh yeah_, it _happened_! But then he was, like, _blah, blah, blah, stop kissing!_ And then – then… then…" He dropped his face back into the bed and moaned, like he had done when he first arrived. He brought his head back up and rested his chin on his arms folded in front of him, his expression deadpan. "Then I said _stupid things…_ And for _stupid reasons_!" He whined and squeezed his eyes shut. David shared a stunned look with Wes, both of them shrugging, unsure of how to proceed. Wes cleared his throat briefly.

"O-okay… Um, Blaine… Maybe you should try talking to him… That usually works, right?" Blaine let out a scoff.

"I _guess._ But what if he doesn't want to-"

"Well!" David cut in, clapping his hands together. "As much as I've _loved_ this little boy talk-bonding time, and your cute little story, Blaine, we still have almost an hour before breakfast today, and _then_ we have group, so I'd like to _sleep_. So…_goodnight_." He yanked the covers up over his shoulders and shoved Blaine off the bed with his foot. The curly-haired boy scrambled to stay on his feet and glared at the dark-skinned boy, then glanced over to where Wes was already laying back down in bed, his eyes shut.

"_Fine_... Why do I even keep coming to you guys for relationship advice? I think this is the last time I'm making _that_ mistake…" At this, both boys shot back up into sitting positions and whooped.

"Oh _fuck_, yes! He's finally learned!"

"Oh _Lord_, how we have prayed!"

* * *

><p>"Alright… Mr. Anderson? Is there anything you'd like to share with the group today?" Blaine sat up at the call of his name and glanced over to Kurt, who was idly picking at his fingernails, not paying attention to those around him. Blaine blinked a few times, and opened his mouth to respond, but hesitated. He looked back to Ms. Webber who was giving him an expectant look and then back to the pale boy, who now raised his eyes to look at Blaine, as the class had grown silent.<p>

"I – yes… Yes, I wanted… to…" He spoke slowly, trailing off, not drawing his eyes away from Kurt. The young boy now placed his hands down in his lap and folded them together, raising an eyebrow in curiosity as the curly-haired boy stared at him blankly. "I wanted to… apologize. To Kurt." Everyone in the room seemed to be watching intently. Kurt narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back slightly in his chair and tilting his head in a way that suggested 'go on.' Blaine swallowed audibly, nodding. "I… I'm _sorry_. For being a jerk last night… And for, I guess, like…upsetting you. And for the…misunderstanding…?" Blaine spoke slowly and uncertainly, giving the smaller boy a pleading look.

"Kurt?" The young boy glanced over to where his teacher had prompted him to reply. He sighed and readjusted his position, shifting slightly, with a contemplative look on his face. He turned to face Blaine with an unreadable expression.

"O-okay. I guess…" Blaine cocked an eyebrow.

"…Do you… accept my apology?" Kurt sighed heavily and stared at the floor in front of him, biting the inside of his cheek. He blinked a few times thoughtfully and turned back to face the other boy.

"I – you…made me feel like shit, Blaine. And I guess it was my fault, because I was warned about the kind of person you are... I understand what you want, but I'm not interested... And…I…_accept_ the fact that you're sorry. But I don't forgive you." Blaine looked at him for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed together, blinking in confusion.

"Kurt. Please. Explain to me _what_ you're talking about… Because I'm just, _so_ confused at this point." Kurt's expression morphed slightly into one of irritation.

"Listen, Blaine. I _get_ that you like to just _hook up_ with guys, or whatever, but I'm really not looking for that kind of thing-"

"No! No, Kurt, I'm not, either! I mean, sometimes I am, but – but not now. I _like_ you… I just, I thought that's what _you_ wanted, so I was going with it…" Kurt stared at him, his face showing his mix of hurt and frustration.

"So, if that's what you thought, then why didn't you-? If you really _like_ me, then why would you be okay with just _hooking up_ with me?" Blaine looked panicky and then completely defeated.

"I… I don't _know_… I just wanted to be with you in _some_ way, even if it was just sex! And – and that's basically all I know! That's usually the only way I'm with guys at _all_ and-" He was cut off with a loud groan from Kurt.

"_Why_ do you just have _sex_ with guys, Blaine? Why can't you just be-?"

"_What?_ _Normal?_ I don't know how! It's the only way I've ever done it! I'm scared as _shit_ to let someone else that close to me! Why do you think I…? Why do you think I _continue with my 'problem.'_? I don't just do it because I'm fucked up! I _do _it to get away from myself! I am _so_ insanely freaked out by myself that I couldn't even _imagine_ dragging someone else into my life!" He belted, temporarily forgetting the other people in the room, staring directly into a pair of intense glasz eyes.

Kurt searched the other boy's face, red from screaming, watching the series of emotions flickering over his face. His problem… Heroin. He did heroin to get away from himself, to get himself out of his own mind… Kurt nodded slowly, keeping his gaze locked on Blaine's the entire time he did so.

"Okay," he nodded again, his voice gentle, soothing. "Okay… I get it, I do… But just because you have problems within yourself doesn't mean that when you take them out on other people, it'll sting any less." Blaine's face fell slightly at his words. "You still…_hurt me_, Blaine. And I'm telling you right now, it might take a little while for that to heal."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Sort of ehh ending, but there's a lot more to come that will bring closure to all this! Next chapter will be up soon!**


	6. Sorry

**A/N Jeez, sorry for the wait. I had a "surprise family gathering", which basically equates to people showing up unannounced and me being unprepared  
>Anywho! Here you are! This one's long at least, so think of it as my apology?<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"Blaine, I…thought about what you said… And I understand that you have a…<em>confusing<em> relationship with sex, and that you've really never done anything but hook up with guys before… But, if you really like me like you say you do, then I'm willing to help you through that and possibly start a relationship with you..." Kurt stared blankly at the boy in front of him, waiting for some kind of reaction or response, but got none. His face morphed into an expression of annoyance. "Well?"

Trent snorted from where he was casually lounging on Kurt's bed and glanced up from the phone he held in front of him. "Dude, you sound like a bad TV show, or something... Seriously, bro, how many times have you practiced saying that?" Kurt's face fell and he let out a high-pitch whine, his eyes falling shut.

"What _should_ I say, then?" He opened his eyes to face the bigger teen. Trent placed the phone down on his lap and looked thoughtful for a moment before responding.

"Just be like '_I don't care that you used to fuck a bunch of other guys, but I wanna do more than just fuck…'_" Trent shrugged, shifting his attention back down to the phone. "I mean, whatever. Blaine's never really done anything but screw guys before, but I don't think anyone's ever tried to do anything but screw him, either," he glanced back up to Kurt. "You know?" Kurt nodded slowly, then sat down on the edge of his bed, deep in thought. "Dude, why do you have a bunch of pictures with a hot, blonde chick all over you?" Kurt's head snapped up to look at Trent, seeing it was his phone he had been playing with the entire time. He leaned over to snatch the device from him, but the bigger teen held it out of his reach.

"What are you – why do you have my phone?" Kurt narrowed his eyes suspiciously and raised an eyebrow.

"_Because_," he held the phone away as the young boy tried to claim it again. "You were bitching about Blaine and I got bored and – okay, what the hell?" Trent turned the phone so Kurt could see the screen. It was a picture of Kurt being hugged by all the girls from Glee, before a competition at one of their 'girl's' nights. When the young boy gave no reaction, Trent turned it back to look at the picture again himself. "Man, I would fuck _all_ of these girls. And judging by some of the other pictures on here, of you and that taller blonde one? She was totally offering… And you're _gay_! Why is it always like that…?"

Kurt finally ripped his iPhone from the other boy's hands and pocketed it, trying to force out memories of his girlfriends. It was just too painful. "Well, I'm going to talk to Blaine now. Are you planning to continue lying in my bed and doing nothing?" Kurt questioned the other boy with his arms crossed over his chest. Trent sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed and brought himself to a standing position.

"Nope. I'm gonna go next door and see what Jeff and Nick are up to... Later, bro!" Kurt waved lazily as the other boy made his way out of his room and to the one next to it. He sighed and squeezed his eyes shut, anticipating the conversation he was about to have.

He really took what Blaine had said at group the day before to heart, and understood the fact that he was afraid of being in a relationship, and had never been in one before. Kurt just wanted him to know that he was sorry for overreacting and that if Blaine was willing to try to be in some kind of normal relationship, he would be there for him. He would try, too.

Kurt left his room and walked a few places down to the familiar door, and stopped in front of it when he noticed it was open a crack. He heard movement coming from inside and assumed the curly-haired boy was probably in there at that very moment, and that he was _really_ going to have to have this uncomfortable conversation. He had no problem apologizing, but this subject was just obviously touchy, and he had to be careful to approach it the right way.

He pushed the door open slightly and saw Blaine sitting on his bed, facing away from him, hunched over. Kurt was about to greet the boy when Blaine suddenly tensed up and yanked a small green band from his left arm. Kurt narrowed his eyes and took a subconscious step back, but remained watching from the doorway, stunned. Blaine let out a shuddering sigh and let his head fall back, his body visibly relaxing.

Kurt knocked a couple times quietly on the open door and Blaine jumped violently, snapping his head around and sighing in tremendous relief and letting his eyes flutter shut when he saw the familiar pale boy standing in the doorway. Kurt noticed immediately how his face was flushed and his forehead shiny with sweat. Blaine opened his eyes and stared at Kurt with droopy, tired eyes.

"Kurt, you scared the shit out of me. What are you, um – what are you doing here?" The boy stood up from bed and Kurt noticed him place a small syringe on his bedside table with lazy hands. He hastily tugged his left shirt sleeve down, turning to face the pale boy with a curious look. Kurt couldn't tear his eyes away from the rumpled tan shirt sleeve with the tiny dot of red blood seeping through the material, near the crook of Blaine's elbow. The curly-haired boy seemed to notice this, as he folded his arms across his chest and furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his pierced one, giving Kurt an expectant look, though his eyes seemed foggy.

"…I… I just came by to say…" Kurt shook his head, trying to get himself out of his distracted haze. He focused on the hazel eyes in front of him, noting their distant quality. "I was going to say that I – I understand your, um, feelings, about yourself…and that you don't really know how to be in a real relationship…" Blaine blinked a few times, silently urging him to continue. Kurt sighed. "And I was gonna say that if you were willing to try to – to work on that – with _me_… I'd be willing, _too_, and-"

"Oh God, Kurt. I'm so glad! I've never been anyone's boyfriend before – not really – and it might take a little while, but I'll try my best to-"

"Stop! Blaine, _please_..." Kurt stared at the curly-haired boy as he cut him off from his ramble. He _really_ stared at him, taking in his constricted pupils, sweaty face and messier-than-usual curls, his scuff that he seemed to have neglected shaving for longer than he usually did, and the absence of life in his eyes that seemed to be disappearing more and more frequently these days.

Perhaps he had never looked closely enough, or maybe he _had_, but he pretended not to see it. It could have to do with the fact that Blaine's lifestyle of casual sex and overall attitude had seemed like the most important things that stood in the way of them being together, and he never imagined he'd actually get this far, never approved of himself getting this far, and never thought things out.

Whatever the reason was, as he stood in the doorway of Blaine's room, gazing intently at the curly-haired boy in front of him, looking at his disheveled appearance and inattentive presence, it dawned on Kurt just how big of a problem this addiction was.

"I – I was _going_ to say those things, but Blaine," he shook his head, curling his arms around himself. "I can't. I can't talk to you when you're like this." Blaine furrowed his eyebrows, eyes clearing up slightly and trying to focusing at his words.

"Can't…? Like _what_?" Kurt gestured wildly up and down Blaine's figure.

"_This_! You're all – all _strung out_, Blaine! You're strung out on _heroin_!" The curly-haired boy glanced around nervously and then yanked Kurt fully into the room and shut the door, holding a finger up to his lips, making a shushing sound. "Sorry… But, Blaine, really! You're high _right now!_" The other boy sighed and ran a hand through his curls, then threw his arms up in the air.

"What do you want me to say, Kurt? I'm _normal_ when I'm like this. I shoot up to be _normal_. I'm _high_ all the time… If I _wasn't_ high you wouldn't be able to talk to me! I'd be all jittery and stuff, and – and-"

"No! Stop, Blaine. I can't – I can't do this!" Kurt shook his head rapidly, willing the tears in his eyes not to spill over. He retreated away slowly from the other boy, his back hitting the door. Blaine took a tentative step towards the small boy, trying not to feel offended when Kurt cringed back slightly.

"Do what? Kurt, please! You already _know_ I have problems with – with this _relationship_ stuff, with sex stuff, and I thought we could get around that, but now! Now you expect me to give _this_ stuff up?" Kurt shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as hot tears ran down his cheeks. He smacked his hands against his ears, trying to drown out Blaine's words. He began speaking in rushed, frantic sentences.

"I-I can't be around you when you're hurting yourself like this! I _know_ you do these things, a-and I _see_ you do them, and watch you act this way, and yet I find myself still falling for you! I – I can't look at you, and be so disgusted and disappointed in myself for still having feelings for you." Blaine flinched back, a hurt expression falling over his features. He looked utterly in shock, speechless. Kurt whipped around and opened the door, stepping halfway out before turning around to face the other boy. "I'm sorry Blaine. I can overlook your – your _thing _where you don't know how to be in a relationship with someone, but it's too confusing and sickening to fall for a drug addict..." He shook his head slightly, fresh tears pooling in his eyes. He swallowed audibly, continuing to back out of the door, and let out a bitter, tear-filled laugh. "What kind of person lets themselves fall in love with someone who hurts themselves? It's like I'm… _approving_ of you hurting yourself… Or – or like I'm hurting you, myself."

* * *

><p>"That was – that was good, you guys," Kurt yawned, stretching his arms above his head lazily. He scanned the faces in front of him and blinked a few times, then arched an eyebrow. "Would have been a lot <em>better<em> if we weren't missing more than a quarter of our Warblers…" He waited for someone to say something, but when no one did, he sighed. "Anyone know where Nick and Jeff are?"

Trent shared a quick look with Wes and the latter sighed. "Thing 1 got the shit beat out of him again because he still hasn't paid Vince back, and Thing _2_ is busy fixing Thing _1_'s face…" Kurt raised an eyebrow at Wes's nicknames for the two boys, but rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Well, whatever. I hope Nick's okay…" A few of the guys shrugged in response. "_But_, on a _happier_ note, I know you guys have been getting really bored with practicing warm-ups and a cappella exercises, _so_," Kurt turned around and picked up a folder that was lying on the piano and waved it in front of the boys' faces teasingly. "I have a little surprise for you!" He opened the folder and whipped out the first sheet, then revealed it to the guys with an excited smile.

The small group of boys, minus one, cheered at the sight of the song title.

"_Grenade_! That's awesome!" Trent whooped, turning to high-five David. Kurt smiled and nodded, though his face dropped significantly as he took in Thad's unenthusiastic attitude.

"Y-yeah. Well, the first day I heard you guys singing, you were trying – and failing, might I add – to do an a cappella version of this song, so I thought it would be a good start. Something that…you guys…would be passionate…to work on – Thad?" Kurt had lost focus in his words as he continued to stare at his roommate's expressionless face. "Do you not want to do this song? We can look into another one if you-"

"No, Kurt. I do… Sorry, I'm just sort of out of it today." He replied in a monotone voice, not sounding very convincing, but Kurt nodded slowly, then turned to face the rest of the group.

"Right. Well, this song is specifically designed for an a cappella choir, so it should be-"

"Do I get the lead?" Blaine interrupted, sounding giddy. He locked eyes with Kurt for a moment and his smile faltered, still slightly unsure of where they stood, due to the recent complications. Kurt's lips twitched up slightly, causing the curly-haired boy slight relief and to recover his dopey grin. The pale boy nodded slowly, but held the sheet music away as a few hungry hands tried to snatch it from him.

"Not so fast. There's one condition-" He was cut off by a chorus of moans. "Hey now! None of that! We will do this song… _But_ the arrangement is made for a choir of at least 10 members… And it would be nice to have more than one person doing the bass and drum parts…" The boys stood in front of him with expectant looks, pretty sure they knew what was coming next. "_So_, that being said, we will do this song _if_ we get more members to join. Or at least _try_ to get more members. I propose we ask the guys in group." There were a few small noises of reluctant agreement, and Kurt smiled. He began passing out the sheet music and assigning parts. "Now, I'll go give Jeff and Nick their parts, but _you_ _guys_ are in charge of trying to give the guys in group their music. You said most of them were in the Warblers before it was disbanded, so try your best at judging their vocal ranges."

David raised an eyebrow skeptically, eyes flickering up from his music to look at the young boy. "So… We're just gonna tell them to come sing with us? And _guess_ what parts they can do…?" Kurt nodded, pursing his lips together slightly.

"…_Pretty _much… And I know we're all pretty busy this week, with midterms coming up pretty soon, so… How about you hand out the music, everyone looks it over, practices it a little, and we'll meet again next Saturday."

"Same time?"

"Yes. 4:30… Oh! And don't forget… Our practices are still…_on the down low_. So make sure to mention that to the other guys." There were a few nods, and Kurt smiled and clapped his hands together. "Alright, then! Meeting…adjourned!" Wes stayed where he stood with a contemplative look on his face as the others began filing out.

"You know, we should get one of those little hammer things. What are they called? A _Gavel_! You know, for formality, and everything…" No one seemed to pay his idea much attention, but David gave him an incredulous look as he pulled his jacket on, a sly smile playing at his lips.

"A _gavel_…? _Really_, Wes?" He laughed and shook his head at his Asian roommate, motioning for him to follow him as he made his way to the exit. Kurt grinned fondly at his friends, but his smile dropped when he noticed Thad slowly pulling his coat on, a sad, distant look on his face. Kurt approached his roommate and tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder, getting the other boy's attention.

"Thad… Are you okay?" The dark-haired boy gave him a curious glance, like he was about to say 'what are you talking about?', but Kurt narrowed his eyes and gave him a stern look. "Don't give me that look… You can't act like you haven't been…" He gestured to his roommate's distressed features. "…lately…" Thad sighed and crossed his arms over his chest, an obvious wall being placed up.

"I'm just… There's just some stuff going on," he shrugged, his lips coming together to form a tight line. Kurt simply nodded in response, knowing that if Thad wanted to tell him, he most likely would.

"If you want to talk to me about it, you can, Thad…" The dark-haired boy broke eye contact with his pale roommate and nodded, keeping his head down and heading out the door without another word. Kurt followed his path with his eyes and sighed, then walked out the door himself, turning around only to replace the replica heavy-duty lock on the big double doors. The boys had bought an imitation lock to replace the one the school had placed on the doors when the Arts Building was originally closed. They had cut off that lock ages ago, and bought one that they had the key to, for more convenient break-ins.

* * *

><p>Kurt sighed and began making his walk towards the dorm building, where he figured Nick and Jeff would be. He needed to give them their sheet music, which could probably wait until later, but he didn't have anything better to do, and he also had something else he needed to give Jeff.<p>

He ran his fingers along the cold metal of the item in his coat pocket, feeling the tiny letters that jutted out from the otherwise flat surface. He remembered a few hours before, when he had stepped over the dog tag necklace, tripping over the chain in his hasty attempt to get to Warblers rehearsal. It had been over a week since he had given the blonde boy his haircut, and he had forgotten his chain on Kurt's floor, but neither of them seemed to realize it.

Kurt thought back over the past week, and all the events that had unfolded, all the conversations he'd had.

_It was Wednesday morning and Kurt stepped out of his shower, after another unpleasant bout of physical exertion. At least he'd gotten to sleep in to his normal time, unlike the previous week, and was able to resume his usual routine of showering after class. He pulled on a pair of boxer briefs and his uniform white oxford, sighing as the shirt stuck to his slightly still-wet body. He stepped into his bedroom only to see Blaine sitting on his bed, chatting quietly over a cigarette with Thad. _

_At the sound of the door opening, both boys turned around to face Kurt, and the young boy stopped in his tracks, taken by surprise by the sight before him. Blaine cocked an eyebrow and blew the smoke from his mouth, his eyes raking over Kurt's barely-dressed body. His pants tightened around his crotch as he appreciated the definition of the young boy's stomach through his white shirt, as well as the fact that he could make out the outlines of the Kurt's cock through his thin cotton underwear. Blaine noted the feeling he got in the pit of his stomach as he took in the expanse of milky skin of the boy's thighs, and he crossed his legs, taking a long drag of his cigarette as he continued to watch Kurt stare at them blankly, frozen where he stood. _

_Suddenly Kurt made a small, incoherent noise of confusion and fumbled around to grab a towel from the room behind him, covering his waist hastily. He stood awkwardly for another few moments like that and Thad sighed dramatically. He stood and chucked the uniform slacks that were on Kurt's bed to the pale boy, who caught them swiftly, then plopped his cigarette butt into the soda can on his table and made his way to the door._

_"Don't pop a boner over there, Kurt... I'll see you guys later." And with that, Thad left the room and shut the door behind him, leaving the two boys in the room in silence. Blaine dropped his cigarette butt into the soda can and began to light a new one, and Kurt took this opportunity to frantically pull on his uniform slacks. Blaine turned back to face him and his eyes ran over the young boy's body again as he drew in a deep hit._

_"So… Kurt. I wanted to talk to you." Kurt nodded, trying not to be distracted by the small streak of grease on the boy's forearm, visible as his shirtsleeve was rolled up, still present from his auto shop class. _

_"I figured that much..." Kurt sat down on Thad's bed, sitting across from the Blaine. The other boy opened his mouth as though to speak, but closed it again. He ran a hand through his curls and stood up, taking a seat beside the smaller boy, who eyed him questioningly. _

_"Kurt… I'm…sorry about what happened on Sunday." Kurt glanced at him sideways, and when he said nothing in response, Blaine continued. "I – I'm sorry that there's so much shit that's making it hard for us to be…anything," he sighed, tilting his head to try to look at Kurt's face better. "And I really __do__ want to try to – to be in some kind of…relationship with you. Something that's more than just sex… And I'm trying to figure out – look inside myself, to see what's making that so hard for me. I really am. And…" He tapped the ashes of his smoke into the soda can and stared blankly at the floor in front of him. "And I want to try to get off the...drugs." At this, Kurt's head snapped up to face him, and Blaine glanced sideways at the young boy, a small, crooked smile playing at his lips._

_"Really…?" Blaine nodded slowly, gazing into the smoke that rose from the stick in his hand._

_"Really. And – and I'm not…guaranteeing anything – not right away, at least – but I want you to know that I'll try. I don't know how, but I'm going to try." Kurt could hardly believe the words he was hearing. Someone, some other human being, a gorgeous boy, at that, was willing to give up his addiction to hard drugs…for __him__. _

Kurt yawned as he pushed the door to the dorm building open, thinking back to his sleepless night. He had experienced another nightmare. The same one. The same one he'd had occur randomly for the past six or so months since it had happened. The same one he'd had every time he'd close his eyes for the past week straight. The one where he had to watch himself being raped and couldn't do anything to help.

Kurt shifted his focus to the conversation he'd had with a few of the guys the day before, regarding Blaine's drug problem.

_"-probably just short-supplied. You saw what happened last time he tried to get off the stuff. I don't think he'd try that again. Especially not this soon." Trent considered what the dark-haired boy said and shrugged, shoveling another spoonful of stew into his mouth._

_"I guess. But he said he didn't __want__ to shoot up, not that he __couldn't__, or didn't have enough." Kurt approached the table and dropped his tray down, raising a curious eyebrow at the suddenly silenced conversation. _

_"Were…you guys talking about Blaine?" The two boys shared a glance and then nodded. Kurt nodded in response and poked his salad lazily. "About…him quitting drugs?" He questioned casually and Trent and Nick shared another look. Wes sat down and, having overheard Kurt's last comment, raised an eyebrow._

_"Who, Blaine? Is he trying to get clean again?" _

_Trent looked up from his food. "He was acting all cranky, and I told him to quit bitching and go get a fix, and he said he didn't want to…" The boy shrugged. "But he might just not have that much and is trying to, like, spread it out over the days, or whatever." Wes nodded in agreement._

_"Yeah, like, ration it." Kurt raised an eyebrow curiously. Had he not told his friends that he was trying to stop…?_

_"He told me he was trying to quit." The boys all looked at him incredulously. "..I kind of told him I wouldn't be with him if he was all strung out… And… I guess he took that as motive to get clean." Wes raised his eyebrows in surprise and let out a low whistle._

_"Wow… I guess he really does like you… Now that you mention it, he has been moodier lately."_

_"And shaky… Like real shaky. Like when he tried to quit before." Trent added, still piling food into his mouth. Nick nodded thoughtfully, then looked at Kurt._

_"I guess Sunday will be the real test." Kurt raised an eyebrow._

_"Sunday…?"_

_"Well, since Halloween's on Monday, we're all celebrating it Sunday this year. And we're gonna party pretty hard. If Blaine stays sober – well, not sober, but…not on heroin, anyway – I'll give him props." _

Since Kurt and Blaine's conversation, they had fallen into some kind of flirty, slightly confusing, friendship. It was like they both wanted to be together, but were waiting for the time it could happen. It all rested on Blaine's shoulders, and from what the other boys had said, it seemed like he was really trying to get off the stuff.

Kurt stood outside Jeff and Nick's door, smiling as he overheard bits of their conversation.

_"-all swollen. And this is still bleeding a little bit. Shit, Nick. Hold still for a freaking second-"_

_"Ah! Fuck, Jeff!" _

_"Sorry… Just... There. How's that?" _

Kurt knocked on the door, interrupting the chat. Kurt heard Jeff yell 'come in!' and opened the door slightly, poking his head in. Nick was lying down on his bed, looking a mix between pissed off, humiliated, and tired, and had a fresh bandage taped across his cheek. Jeff was packing up the contents of his First Aid kit, and glanced up when Kurt opened the door. He gave the pale boy a small smile.

"Oh. Hey, Kurt." The blonde boy shoved the small kit into a high place in his closet as Kurt walked in, closing the door behind himself. Jeff turned to face the other boy completely, leaning against the closet door. "Sorry we couldn't, um, make it to Warblers today… But…" He gestured vaguely to Nick lying in bed. "…This kind of happened. And it's still kind of bleeding, so I've been changing the bandages pretty often." Kurt nodded and glanced at Nick again. Aside from the bandage on his face, there was a large, red bump on his forehead that looked particularly painful, not to mention the black eye that was still healing.

"…Don't worry about it, you guys. Um… what, um – I mean – is he okay?"

Jeff shifted his glance over to his dark-haired roommate and tilted his head thoughtfully. "Yeah. He's… I mean, Vince – you know, the guy he owes money to – kind of shoved him against a wall. That's what gave him the huge-ass bump. Then he, like, socked him right in the face. And he had a ring on, so it broke the skin. I think it'll be fine, though. It doesn't look too bad. Shouldn't need any stitches, or anything…" Kurt nodded, then remembered the reason he came. He pulled two sets of music from the folder in his hands and held them out to Jeff proudly.

"_Well_, I actually came by to give you _this_." The blonde boy took the music and, after reading the title, broke out into a grin. "I have the other guys handing out other parts to the guys in group, so that should be interesting… Seeing how that plays out… But, anyway, we're meeting next Saturday at 4:30," he nodded and then fished around in his coat pocket until presenting the shiny dog tag. "_Aaand_, you left this in my room last week." Jeff's eyes widened slightly and he quickly touched his neck, feeling the place where the chain usually lived.

"Oh. Wow. I can't believe I didn't notice… Thanks." The blonde boy returned it to its rightful place around his neck and nodded. Kurt smiled and there was a beat of silence before he spoke.

"What's it from, anyway?"

"What?" Kurt pointed down to his neck.

"I mean, it has all the stuff on it like it was actually from the military. Where'd you get it?" Jeff picked up the piece of worn metal and inspected it for a moment, running his fingers over the embossed letters.

**Sterling  
>Jeffrey S.<br>113-65-6729  
>O Pos.<br>No Religious Pref.**

"We made them in the Warblers at the end of sophomore year, when we heard the department was being cancelled. I guess the other guys don't really wear them all the time, but I think they're pretty cool." Kurt cocked an eyebrow, but smiled, nevertheless.

"Don't you think it's kind of a bad idea to wear a chain around your neck that has your social security number on it?"

"…Well. At least if I'm ever in an accident or something, they'll know what blood type I am… And they'll know to not pray for me."

* * *

><p>"B… <em>B…<em>" The blonde man sighed, eyes darting around the room nervously. He shook the boy one more time, this time more forcefully. "Blaine!" Blaine's eyes fluttered slightly open, and his dull hazel eyes were met with a pair of harsh blue ones. He jumped slightly, then winced and clutched his stomach with a pained expression on his face.

"Ugh… W-what happened?" Jeremiah narrowed his eyes in annoyance and sat down on the foot of the bed, still completely naked. He sighed irritably as the younger boy came to a sitting position dizzily.

"You _passed out…_ While we were still…" He trailed off, but the unsaid words were obvious. Blaine blinked a few times, confused, and ran a hand through his hair.

"I – sorry. I've been trying to – I _was_ trying to – to quit, so I threw most of my stuff out. Then I started craving, but I didn't have that much left, so I – I've been skipping meals to try to…" He made a small gesture with his hand, trying to find the right phrase. "…_extend the high _because I was only able to shoot up, like, once a day. So I've been pretty dizzy lately…" The blonde cocked an eyebrow, sort of wondering why he was being told all of this, then crossed his arms over his bare chest.

"You know that doesn't really work, right?"

A slightly irritable look fell onto Blaine's face. "Well, it was the best I could do... And it worked for me! Now can you _please_ just give me my shit and leave? I have to get to my group therapy class in, like, an _hour_, and I'd _like_ to have had a fix by then." Jeremiah blinked a few times, then tilted his head to the side.

"B… you kind of…" He gestured to the bed messily. "…before I could get off." Blaine's eyebrows knotted together and he glanced down, only now noticing the man's still hard penis, condom still on. Blaine let out a frustrated moan and fell onto his back. "Sorry, Blaine. But you know this is the deal we made... Just flip over, I won't last long..." Blaine sat up slowly, his face slightly twisted in pain. He held his stomach again.

"Jer, _please_. I feel really sick…" The blonde shrugged and rolled his eyes, yanking off the condom and throwing it angrily into the trash bin. He shook his head as he searched for his boxers.

"Not how it works, Blaine. But whatever. If you don't want to, you can wait for a fix until next time I see you…" Blaine looked like he was honestly considering this offer, his face still contorted in pain from his obvious nausea. His body gave an involuntary jolt, something that happened a lot lately from his drug weaning, and he focused his gaze back on the man in his room.

"Jeremiah… Come on. I'm dying over here." Jeremiah shrugged, annoyed that he was left unsatisfied.

"You know what the deal is," he turned back to face the younger boy. "But I'm warning you now… You probably really want this. I'm going out of town for a while and-"

"What?" Blaine jumped up and snatched the underwear the blonde had finally located out of his hand. "Wait, what am I supposed to do, then…?"

"I thought you said there were plenty of guys who would give this deal to you?" The blonde asked, his voice dripping in attitude and irritation.

"What about Z? Is he still dealing-?"

"Not for you, he's not. He doesn't accept fucks as payment anymore." Blaine's eyes flickered around, panicking as he ran through mental lists. He finally looked back up to Jeremiah with a pleading look on his face.

"What if you give me a couple weeks supply in advance and I-?"

"No! Damn it, B! You _know_ the deal we made, you _know_ how it works! You know you could actually _pay _for this stuff and-"

"I don't have the money for that! I hardly have enough to keep up my damn nicotine addiction-"

"Not my fucking problem. Now if you want _anything_ from me today, you're gonna get the fuck on that bed, and you're gonna get out another condom!" Blaine nodded slowly, a wounded expression dominating his features. He walked over to his bedside drawer and began rifling through its contents, but froze and turned around to the blonde.

"What if I – Can I just blow you, or something…?" The blonde shook his head exasperatedly and walked over to the drawer and retrieved a condom himself, and began stroking himself into full hardness again.

"No. Just get on your fucking stomach, Anderson."

* * *

><p>Kurt hummed to himself as he made his way up to his floor hastily. There was still about 45 minutes before group, but he thought it would be nice to hang out with Blaine beforehand, possibly walk with him there. Since their little talk and since he had heard from some of the guys that Blaine seemed to be trying to quit, he had enjoyed spending time with the boy. It seemed like their possible relationship was inching closer and closer to reality every day.<p>

He suddenly collided with another figure as he turned a corner and jumped away instinctively. "Oh! I – I'm sorry!" Kurt informed the other person quickly, though as Kurt took in his appearance, he realized he didn't recognize the blonde boy. He seemed older than a high school student. The blonde shrugged and quickly made his way towards the stairs and past Kurt, who followed his path with a raised eyebrow.

"Hey, Kurt!" Kurt whipped his head around, only to come face to face with Trent and Thad, who still looked depressed and cold. Kurt forced a small smile and turned towards the bigger teen who had greeted him.

"Hey you guys… Um… Do you know who that guy was? The blonde one?" The two boys shared a confused glance and each of them shrugged. "I dunno… He just looked kind of old to go here and-"

"Oh!" Trent interrupted, realization dawning on his face. "Kinda tall? Long, curly, blonde hair?" Kurt nodded slowly, a curious eyebrow raised. "That's Blaine dealer. He comes by on the weekends to hook Blaine up, or whatever. Usually comes by on Saturdays, though." Kurt's eyes widened dramatically and his jaw went slack. He blinked a few times, trying to wrap his head around what the other boy had just told him.

"W-what? His… His _heroin_ dealer?" The boy whispered the second to last word, a tone of disgust evident in his voice. Trent and Thad nodded casually, not fully understanding his reaction. Kurt's eyes fell to the floor and he had to will himself not to give in to the feeling of breaking down. Not now. Not here. "He… I thought he was trying to get clean?" Thad scoffed lightly, rolling his eyes.

"Blaine's _always_ trying to get clean. He goes for about a week or two and then gives in again… The thing he's got going with that guy-" Thad pointed in the direction Jeremiah had gone. "-is just too much to turn down, I guess. He doesn't even _pay_ for it." At this, Kurt's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"He doesn't…_pay_ for it?"

"…Well… He _fucks_ for it."

And with that, Kurt found himself flinging open Blaine's door, face scrunching up in rage as his eyes raked over the scene in front of him. Blaine jumped violently from his position on his bed, presumably naked beneath the covers that were around his waist, holding a lighter in one hand, its flame heating the contents of a cut-off soda can bottom which was oh-so-casually sitting in his other hand. Kurt's eyes darted around, looking at the room, at Blaine's messy hair and sweaty forehead, at the rumpled bed sheets, at the small syringe lying on his bedside table.

"Kurt! What the fuck are you doing?" Kurt stepped fully into the room and slammed the door behind himself, torn between breaking into sobs and breaking Blaine's floor lamp.

"What the fuck – _what the fuck am __I_ _doing?_" He screamed, motioning wildly with his hands at everything before him. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE _YOU _DOING?" He dug his hands into his hair and let out a strangled sob. Blaine reluctantly put down his materials and pulled his covers more tightly around himself, sighing.

"Kurt, look. I told you that-"

"NO! YOU _LOOK!_" The pale boy let out another broken cry, taking a step to approach the other boy. He lowered his voice as he began to softly cry. "Y-you broke your promise t-to me! You broke _both_ of your promises to me!" When Blaine gave him a slightly confused look, Kurt fiercely threw his arm up and pointed to a small shiny object on the bed. "You think I'm stupid? The condom wrapper is _right there_, Blaine! I know you have sex for drugs, and I know you just did that with that guy that was walking down the hall!"

Blaine let out a tired sigh, running his hands over his face. "Kurt, I told you this would be _hard_ for me-"

"No! You said you'd try to quit! And you said you – you wanted to be with me! And not just hook up with guys! And then here you are!" He let out a harsh, bitter laugh. "Hooking up with guys _for drugs!_" Kurt turned his back to Blaine and let his body shake with a few good sobs, tears breaking free and streaming down his flushed cheeks, red from screaming.

Blaine tugged on his own hair and let out a pained moan, watching this fragile boy hurt because of him. "Oh God, Kurt, _please_, just-"

"I am _so_ fucking disappointed in you, Blaine Anderson." And Kurt walked out the door, slamming it for a second time.

Blaine considered briefly jumping up to go follow him, follow the beautiful boy he'd become somehow so attached to. The boy he just wanted to hold, or kiss, one more time. But the familiar twinge ran through his body again, screaming for a fix, and he picked up the forgotten soda can filled with a dose of drugs and began heating the contents again with his lighter. He dropped a cotton ball in, letting it absorb the liquid and placing it down on his table. He retrieved the green elastic band from his supply box from where he had placed it on the floor and, using his teeth as assistance, Blaine tied the band around his left arm, slapping his forearm a few times before picking a vain that hadn't completely collapsed from abuse.

He picked up the syringe and watched carefully as it soaked up the delicious fluid from the cotton, being careful to avoid air bubbles, and held it up in front of his face. _I have nothing,_ he thought momentarily, before plunging the needle into his arm, ripping off the band and letting himself be taken over by the sweet feeling of narcotics.

* * *

><p>Fuming, Kurt stomped down the hall towards his group therapy classroom. Sure, he'd be early, but he needed to do something. Walking was something. He'd walked from the dorm building down through the courtyards and past the office building. He'd walked all the way to Arts and back to the dorm, and now he was walking here. Walking was definitely something. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get tangled up in the mess that was Blaine Anderson. How could he have been so blind? Of course Blaine wouldn't stop using.<p>

_I've gotten my heart broken before… Why does it hurt so much more this time…?_

Kurt sighed as he turned a corner, noting the hallway was completely empty and subconsciously increasing his pace.

_I was so careful this time… I watched out for myself, I was warned of him, I told myself I wouldn't do this… And then I felt like after everything he said, everything he promised me, it was finally safe, and now this…? _He shook his head in frustration. _I let myself go so far with this one, too far. I gave him my first real kiss. The first kiss that I willingly gave to a boy… Why did I love the fact that it tasted like smoke…?_

"Sup, fag!" Chills ran down Kurt's body and before he could even contemplate whether to turn around, to run, or to scream for help, he was tackled roughly to the ground, his cheek coming in contact with the floor, causing heat to rush to his face. Someone grabbed his right arm, twisting it painfully behind his back, and pushed him heatedly further into the ground, and he felt his nose make a sick crunching sound, though the surprising lack of pain suggested it didn't break.

A few snickers could be heard and he realized that there was more than one person there. This was happening again. He was being attacked by a group of guys. Whoever was pushing down on his bent him arm again, sending an electrifying, sharp twinge of pain to shoot down his entire arm and back, causing him to let out a strangled yelp of pain. Another set of hands soon found the hand of the arm that was being tortured and crushed it roughly, and Kurt released another cry, sure his fingers were broken. He squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly the weight was lifted off of him and he could hear a strange assortment of voices, mostly yelling, and wondered what was happening. Kurt attempted to lift himself from the ground to try to inspect his surroundings, but his shoulder gave out, still sore from being unnaturally pushed behind his back. He rolled onto his back and gasped.

He first noticed David, his dark skin sticking out among the rest, pressing a boy with a shaved head against a wall, then Nick and Jeff, both clumsily attempting to hold off a short, husky, dark-haired boy, each of them having captured one of his arms as he struggled and tried to throw punches, and then he saw Blaine. Blaine – sweet, stupid, drug-addicted, sex-manipulating, Blaine – was on the ground beneath a red-haired boy, holding both of his arms and trying to gain dominance as Wes seemed to be yanking – or at least trying to – said red-haired boy off of him.

Finally, the Asian boy seemed to give a forceful-enough tug, and was able to detach the teen from Blaine, and shoved him away, sending him stumbling further down the hall. The two guys apparently with him shoved away from the boys who were holding them and followed the red-haired boy.

"That's right! Back the _fuck_ off! We see you trying to mess with Hummel again, we won't go easy on you." David threatened the other group. Kurt's eyes widened, shocked at how menacing he sounded. He hadn't heard David use that voice since he had first came to Dalton, since he first tried to intimidate Kurt into telling them his name.

"Yeah, yeah, Thompson! You protect your little fairies! We'll get that little lady when he's alone…" The red-haired boy sneered, as the boy with the shaved head suddenly approached Nick, pressing his arm against his neck and pushing the dark-haired boy against the wall.

"And Nicky boy," the teen hissed, pressing his arm firmly against Nick's throat, causing him to choke slightly and grab at the arm for release. Jeff stormed up to the boy and gave a tug on the hood of the teen's sweatshirt, causing him to loosen his hold on Nick slightly and shove the lanky blonde away. "You still owe my brother money. He's not gonna wait around much longer. You _got that?_" He pushed against the dark-haired boy one last time before releasing him, without waiting for an answer, and went back to join the others as they retreated down the hallway.

Kurt watched, wide-eyed from his position still on the ground, his injured shoulder and mangled hand throbbing painfully loud in his ears. Wes scanned around the small battle scene, watching as Blaine dusted himself off. The Asian boy caught sight of Kurt and rushed over to him, kneeling beside him and reaching a hand out tentatively to his arm.

"Are you alright, Kurt?" Blaine, apparently having approached the young boy as well, asked, bending over to look at Kurt's face. Still angry about their fight that happened only 20 or so minutes ago, Kurt huffed and turned to face Wes, watching intently as the boy tried to roll Kurt sleeve up to look at his hand.

"_Shit._ David…? Can you come look at this?" The Asian boy called behind him, and soon his dark-skinned roommate kneeled down as well, looking concerned before gently taking the young boy's injured limb in his hands, causing Kurt's face to scrunch up in pain. David turned his hand over, noticing the swelling and bruising near the base of his joints and sighed.

"Can you move it?" Kurt wiggled his fingers slightly, but winced and took in a sharp breath. The young boy nodded his head slowly, a pained expression taking over his delicate features.

"Yeah, I think – I think it might be broken. My hand, or fingers or something." He used his other hand to point to a place between his wrist and knuckles where the swelling was the worst. "It… I think it's broken right here…" David sighed and nodded, then covered his mouth with his hand, a contemplative look on his face.

"Yeah… Well, go to the nurse's. Say you fell, or something. Landed badly on your wrist…" Kurt wasn't sure why they weren't telling the truth, but he nodded anyway, trusting his friend's advice. "Um… Someone should take him there though. He's probably gonna get pretty dizzy if it _is_ broken. Jeff, or Blaine, or someone. Help him walk over there, okay?"

"No!" Kurt exclaimed suddenly, causing everyone present to give him incredulous looks. "I don't want Blaine to take me." Said curly-haired boy nodded, eyes locked on the floor and lips drawn together in a tight line. The other boys all exchanged confused, skeptical glances. Wes, who was still kneeling beside Kurt, narrowed his eyes at Blaine, then turned to face the pale boy.

"O-okay… Who _would_ you like to take you, Kurt…?" Kurt looked at the Asian boy and sat thoughtfully for a moment. He knew he was being rather immature, but if he had a _choice_ who could take him, he most certainly didn't want the stupid, curly-haired boy of his damn affections to be there, making his discomfort even worse.

"Jeff," Kurt decided, realizing fully that he sounded like a five year old being stubborn at picking a coloring-time partner. Wes nodded slowly, then glanced sideways to make eye contact with the blonde boy, who nodded in agreement to take the boy.

"Come on, Kurt. I'll take you," he said, coming forth to help the small boy up carefully, watching as he cradled his injured arm protectively. "That was Renny, by the way… Too bad we weren't able to warn you about him before…" The boys all nodded somberly and Jeff placed his hand on the small of Kurt's back to guide him off towards the nurse's station. Once they were out of sight, everyone who remained turned pointedly at Blaine, who shrugged sheepishly, a frown pulling at his mouth.

"Care to explain what that was all about…? Why Kurt wanted to be nowhere near you…?" Wes asked bitterly, folding his arms over his chest and tilting his head.

"Nope."

As Kurt made his way down the hall, guided gently by Jeff, he suddenly recognized that he had just been attacked. His knees wobbled slightly at the realization and Jeff had to steady him, shooting him a questioning glance, silently asking him if he was okay. When Kurt continued walking, his eyebrows furrowed together, thinking about all the things happening around him in his life.

He was the target of a new group of homophobic Neanderthals, Blaine was somewhat trying to pursue him, seemingly regardless of his suffering drug and relationship problems, Nick was in some serious trouble, or so it seemed, due to his money complications. Thad was still hardly talking to anyone, Kurt especially, and was having some kind of personal troubles, making him withdraw into himself.

These things were just enclosing in on Kurt and suffocating him too fast. It was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down, or came to a boil and something bad happened…

* * *

><p>"K-Kurt! <em>Kurt<em>!" David stumbled over to the small boy and clumsily clapped him on the back, then grasped it tightly to stable himself. "I'm glad that – that your _hand_ is – is okay," he slurred, his drink sloshing over the side of his cup slightly and he began laughing at the sight, bending over, still clutching onto Kurt's shoulder as his giggles took over his body. The young boy chuckled lightly in response, holding his own drink with his injured hand.

"Y-yeah! I'm glad it wasn't – wasn't _broken_," Kurt giggled in response, holding up his wrapped, sprained hand as proof, causing both boys to break out into another round of laughing as he, too, spilled his drink slightly.

Blaine watched this interaction from across the room where he sat with Thad, his eyes narrowing as he huffed. He took a long swig from the bottle of vodka in his hands and coughed slightly, passing it to Thad, who took it hungrily. "I-I hate this shit, man. S-seriously, Thad, he's – he's, like, _ignoring_ me." The other boy nodded slowly and solemnly, his eyes falling shut after he took a drink from the bottle.

"I hear ya, B," he nodded the bottle towards the curly-haired boy. "Life…" Thad started, looking thoughtful before responding. "…sucks... _So_," he passed the bottle back to Blaine, slurring his words together and letting his face fall into a pained expression. "Drink up! M-maybe then, everything will suck…_less._"

Blaine nodded, taking a swig and wincing slightly at the burn of the alcohol and then a beat of silence fell over the two boys before he spoke. "I think he – he hates me. Yeah, he hates me," he decided, watching Kurt with a longing expression, then took another hit of the vodka.

"He doesn't _hate_ you, B. He _likes_ you so much it hurts," Thad informed him, following his gaze to watch the pale boy laugh with Wes and David over a bag of chips. "Trust me, unlike my – _my_ problem, _yours_ is gonna work out _fine…_ I'm bored…" He realized suddenly, then stood up, snatching the bottle from Blaine and holding it up triumphantly. "_Never have I ever_!"

Collective drunken whoops were heard throughout the room and the boys all stumbled to gather around in a small circle on the ground, the bottles of various alcohols and shot glasses placed in the center.

"Isn't this kind of gay?" Trent blurted out as he sat down, then shot glances at Kurt and Blaine. "S-sorry… I mean, isn't this kind of lame? Never have I ever?" Nick shoved the bigger teen on the shoulder, though there was a teasing smile present on his face.

"Just shut up and pour a shot. It's fucking Halloween!" Everyone in the room poured themselves shots and Thad was about to start the game when Jeff let out an overdramatic whine.

"Ah, man. You _guys_, i-it's Halloween and we forgot to d-dress up!" He giggled, stumbling over his words in his intoxicated state. The guys all laughed and Wes held his hand up in protest.

"No! No, we dressed up… W-we're…_teenage delinquents_," Wes decided, noddingfirmly, pronouncing the last two words very carefully, like he had a hard time speaking. Thad let out a low chuckle, something none of the boys had really heard in the past week, and held a hand up.

"Yes, yes. Okay… Never have I ever…fucked Jeff's sister." Everyone in the room, aside from Thad, Jeff, Blaine and Kurt took a shot. Jeff rolled his eyes, then shot an incredulous look at Wes.

"Wes! When did you – when did you sleep with Sarah?" The Asian boy grinned and shared a dirty look with David.

"Last month… When – when she came by to visit you and you were in counseling," he snickered, looking at his roommate again. "M-me and David! We – we both fucked her s-so hard!" The blonde boy's eyes widened tremendously.

"You h-had a _threesome_ with my _sister_?" Trent laughed, letting his head fall back, having to use his hand to brace himself.

"You're sister's such a slut, bro." Jeff sighed and ran a hand down his face.

"…I know… _Anyway_. N-never have I ever…had sex!" All the boys groaned and took shots, Kurt with a gloomy expression on his face as he did so. "_Ha_! N-now whose sister…is – is a slut!" David cocked an eyebrow and looked at the blonde boy.

"Still yours… And b-being a virgin? Not… Not something to be proud of…" Jeff grunted and the dark-skinned boy chuckled lightly in reply. "Never have I ever…" He scanned the room, looking for something to say. "…gotten a piercing." He smiled and looked at Blaine, who rolled his eyes and took a shot, along with Jeff, for his ear stud, and Kurt. A few boys look at the latter questioningly. The pale boy noticed these looks and yanked his sweater up, pointing to the tiny, shiny bar in his bellybutton.

"…Did… Did you guys s-seriously _not_ notice this? Didn't you, like, t-take my shirt off when I stabbed myself?" David cocked an eyebrow, still transfixed on the small piercing, as Kurt lowered his sweater.

"I think… we were a-a little more concerned with, you know, the stab-wound and blood-"

"That's _hot_," Blaine commented suddenly, causing all eyes to focus on him. He blushed slightly and tried to backpedal. "I-I mean the bellybutton thing, not the – the blood and stuff." Everyone continued to stare and him, Kurt looking slightly angry at the flirtation, and the curly-haired boy cleared his throat. "W-Wes, your turn."

"…Never…have I ever…stolen m-more than $500 worth of – of stuff from a store." Blaine, Jeff, Nick, and Thad all took shots, and Kurt raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. "Your turn, _Kurtsie_," Wes added, his speech sloppy.

"Never have I ever smoked a cigarette," the pale boy declared proudly, already having prepared one for his turn. Everyone aside from him, Nick and Trent took a shot. The latter two high-fived messily, missing the first time but trying again until they clapped hands. Trent was up next.

"Never have I ever…had sex with a dude!" He pointed at Blaine with a smile, then to Kurt who only frowned in response, but both took shots.

"Never have I ever gotten paid for sex!" Nick nearly screamed, wide, drunken eyes glued to Kurt, waiting for him to take a shot. When the young boy raised an eyebrow at him and crossed his arms across his chest, Nick looked sorely disappointed. "N-no _lying_, Kurt!"

"I'm not lying!"

"Does getting drugs for sex count?" Blaine mused dazedly out loud, interrupting the verbal battle between Nick and Kurt. When no one replied, he shrugged and threw back the shot. "Whatever. I am… _so_ drunk, anyway," he giggled, seemingly having trouble pronouncing every syllable of the sentence. "'S my turn…? Never…have I…ever…" He snorted, falling forward slightly. "…had anyone 'sides my family t-tell me they love me." When none of the boys took a shot, a different air took over the small room. Kurt suddenly let out a bitter laugh.

"We're – we're all really p-pathetic, aren't we?" No one said anything and Kurt continued laughing harshly, and then let out a strangled sound that was a sad mix between a laugh and a cry. The young boy buried his face in his hands and his body trembled with sobs. He removed his hands and looked at the boys in front of him, who were all giving him sloppy, slightly dazed, confused pity-stares. "D-do you guys think that – that everyone we left behind in our – our lives _hates_ us? B-because of what fuck-ups we are?" Everyone looked at him, not sure what to say to the emotional boy.

Blaine, in his non-sober state, crawled across the circle, carefully avoiding the bottles and shot glasses, to the hysterical boy, and wrapped his arms around him. Kurt flinched initially at the sudden contact, but only proceeded to cry harder and bury his face into Blaine's shoulder, breathing in his smoky scent.

"Shh, baby…" Kurt wasn't exactly sure how it happened, but Blaine wiped away the tears on his cheek with his thumb, then kissed the spot softly. The next thing he knew, the curly-haired boy was kissing the corner of his mouth, and he was leaning into the affection. Perhaps it was due to both of the teens' inebriated states, or their deep-down attraction, but before either of them knew what exactly was happening, Kurt was pressed hard down on the floor with a messy Blaine lying on top of him, their mouths latched onto each other's.

In a part of Kurt's mind, he knew he shouldn't be letting this happen again. He really did. But after a few minutes of heavy kissing – and was that Blaine's hand on his hip? – he couldn't deny how right it felt. But he still knew the long lasting effects of falling for a guy like Blaine were still going to bite him in the ass later, but how could he resist something that felt so perfect? And oh, how he'd longed for this, craved it like a drug…

Blaine ran his hand along Kurt's side and squeezed the side of his ass, initiating a small gasp from the boy, and he grinned into the kiss. Blaine ran his tongue along Kurt's lower lip, and the young boy moaned deep in his throat, causing Blaine to tighten his grasp on Kurt's hip and ass, and pull himself flush against the small boy. Kurt opened his mouth, allowing Blaine's tongue to enter, and he could feel the young boy's hard cock throbbing against his tight jeans on his thigh.

Suddenly, too much like their last kiss, Kurt pushed against Blaine's chest and pulled away, scooting out from underneath him. Blaine brought a hand up to rub his lips slightly, having known this was most likely going to end too soon.

"No. No, Blaine, we're – we're _not_ doing…that," Kurt scolded him, sounding incredibly slurred and intoxicated. He wagged his finger in front of the other boy's face before noticing they had an audience. He turned to look at the rest of his friends, all staring wide-eyed and speechless.

"I'm blaming my hard-on on the fact that I'm s-super smashed… And…I'd get turned on b-by basically _anything_ right now…" Wes said, a deep blush gracing his features. Some of the boys gave him skeptical looks, but the Asian boy just shrugged messily. Blaine was still facing Kurt, and reached out to touch the pale boy's face, but Kurt removed it gently.

"B-but _Kurt._ You – you kissed me, too."

"_That_, my g-good sir, is because I am _drunk._ Very…drunk. I stand by what I said before about…about us being…anything. This… This means nothing!" Blaine nodded, swallowing audibly, but there was a tiny spark somewhere in his heart.

He knew what he felt. He knew how Kurt had responded to the kiss. There was something there. Kurt wanted to be with him, he was just afraid, just scared because of his addiction. There may have been things stopping them from being together, but that didn't mean Kurt didn't want it. There was certainly something there. That most certainly meant _something._

The boys stumbled back into their dorm rooms, mere minutes before curfew, and proceeded to pass out, taking special care to lay on their sides and stomachs. Kurt took one more glance around his room through blurry, drunken eyes, looking at his lamp and curtains, his phone charging on his bedside table, and his roommate, already fast asleep, and closed his eyes. _Maybe things will blow over… Maybe things will work out for the better in some way…_

* * *

><p>Kurt sprung out and bed and dashed to the bathroom, barely making it in time before he emptied his stomach into the toilet. He sighed and spit the remaining vomit from his mouth and flushed, standing up to rinse his mouth out. It was still mostly dark out, and he didn't dare turn the lights on. His head throbbed like someone was repeatedly squeezing it, over and over, and his entire right arm ached from where it had been injured the day before, his sprained hand the worst of all. He decided maybe getting completely smashed on a school night wasn't the best idea he'd ever gone along with…<p>

Kurt walked back into his bedroom to get back in bed and stopped dead in his tracks. The entire other side of the room was void of any belongings. Thad's entire desk was cleared off, the posters that used to adorn the walls were missing, the shelves next to his bed were positively bare. Kurt's breath hitched in his throat as he realized his roommate himself was gone as well.

Kurt thought back to the Wednesday before last, when Thad had implied he needed to leave campus. Surely he hadn't… But, his things were completely gone and…

Without a second thought, Kurt sprinted out of his room and frantically knocked on the neighboring door, knowing that at least Jeff knew what was going on in Thad's life and could possibly know what was happening. Not waiting for a response, Kurt swung the door open and gasped when he saw that both Jeff and Nick's beds were also vacant. "What the…?"

Not skipping a beat, he ran a few doors down to Trent's room, knocking loudly and then throwing the door open. Trent's roommate sat up abruptly and then gave Kurt an aggravated look before huffing and falling down back into bed. Kurt thought he was hallucinating when he saw Trent's bed was empty. He ran over to it, to make sure the boy wasn't simply buried beneath the covers.

"'S not here… Get the fuck out!" Trent's roommate, Ryan, mumbled irritably, and Kurt nodded dumbly and fled the room, accidentally slamming it in his hasty attempt to hurry. He stood in the hallway for a second, simply panicking, drawing his hands up to his face and letting out a fretful groan. He quickly ran over to Wes and David's room, not even bothering to knock before flinging the door open, and sighed in tremendous relief when he saw both boys drowsily rise at his entrance.

"Whuh th' fuck, Kurt?" David mumbled, rubbing his eyes with his hands. Before Kurt could respond coherently, Wes looked over at the bedside clock and let out a moan.

"It's 5:30!" Wes screeched and began trying to shield his face with a pillow. At Kurt's paler-than-usual face and speechless horror-struck expression, David sat up, raising an eyebrow.

"Kurt? What's going on?" Kurt pointed to the door, stunned, trying to form a sentence.

"Thad and Jeff and… Thad's gone." At this, both boys shot up out of bed and began walking out the door, and Kurt frantically followed. "And – and so is Jeff, and Nick, and Trent. But Thad… His stuff is all gone, too!" The boys all quickened their pace down the hall until entering Kurt and Thad's dorm, and when they came into the room, Wes and David exchanged a worried glance at the missing possessions.

"Shit," David hissed, then turned around to face Kurt. "Is Blaine still here?" Kurt simply shrugged in response. He hadn't checked to see if Blaine had gone missing as well. "Well, Wes, go check and see if he's there. I'm gonna go talk to Ryan, see if he knows where Trent went… Kurt… Fuck, _breathe_, Kurt. You look like you're about to hyperventilate." Kurt nodded, still not saying anything and the other two boys fled the dorm.

He looked around Thad's side of the room, noting again how thoroughly empty it was. How had he managed to pack up all this stuff so quickly…? And silently, for that matter? Was he planning an escape of some kind…? _What_ was going on? He suddenly saw a small folded piece of paper and his heart started beating rapidly in his chest. He fumbled to open it with shaky hands and saw his roommate's messy handwriting.

_sorry_

Sorry…? Was he sorry for leaving? For the _reason_ he left? Kurt seemed to be the only one left out of the loop and he was not having any more of that.

"_Shit_! David! _David_! Help! Oh _God_!" Wes's shaky, frantic voice rung throughout the hall and the Asian boy stumbled blindly into Kurt's room, eyes darting around quickly, his face twisted in panic and horror, seeing Kurt was the only one in there. "_Fuck_! Kurt!"

"Wes! I found this note and-"

"I think Blaine OD'd!"


	7. Ask of You

**A/N Yeah, long wait, AGAIN. Lame :[  
>So here you go! Long chapter! And I just wanted to say my heart goes out to anyone who lost someone on 911 and had to relive that yesterday  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee <strong>

* * *

><p>"I think Blaine OD'd!"<p>

Kurt was having trouble comprehending the words he had just heard. The things coming from Wes's mouth had sounded like they came out in slow motion, like a surreal string of noise that was meant to be in a movie or TV show, not real life. Not _his_ real life. Surely he had heard wrong.

"…_Blaine_?" Kurt repeated stupidly, bringing his hands up to the sides of his face. His voice was freakishly calm and quiet, and he still stood frozen in place, not moving a muscle. Wes, on the other hand, was practically jumping out of his skin, his eyes bulging out, jumping up and down on his feet, trying to do something productive. The Asian boy let out a strangled groan and ran to flee the room, but bumped into David, who looked frustrated.

"Ryan doesn't know-"

"Blaine! David, oh _God_! Hurry!" He grabbed onto his dark-skinned roommate and frantically dragged him into the curly-haired boy's room, and Kurt hastily followed.

When the pale boy stepped into the doorway, all of the air left his body. There, lying crumpled on the bed in an unnaturally bent position was Blaine. His lips were blue, but the rest of his skin was unusually pale for his normally olive complexion. His body was giving slight, seizing, jolts every couple seconds, but other than that, there were no signs of real life in the boy's body.

"_Fuck_, Blaine!" David cursed the unresponsive boy, running over to him and shakily wiping the hair away from his eyes, trying to get a better look at his face.

_This addiction really is bigger than him… _Kurt mused, watching his friends frantically attend to the seemingly lifeless body. _He needs __help__ to quit something this huge and life-consuming… Of course! How could I have been so stupid to think Blaine could just pick up and quit, cold turkey, with absolutely no help or support from anyone else? _

Kurt glanced over to the other bed in the room, seeing Blaine's roommate, Justin, sitting half-up, his dark brown hair still rumpled from sleep, blinking rapidly, confusion, shock, and irritation all present on his face.

"I can't find it," Wes cried hysterically from his place by Blaine's arm. Kurt shifted his attention to the two boys and found they were seemingly trying to locate Blaine's vital signs, his pulse. He also noticed the small twitches Blaine was having before had ceased.

"No, no, I found it. It's faint though. A-and slow… We gotta get him to the medical wing fuckin' stat!" David announced, after removing his hand from Blaine's pulse point near his neck. He hoisted the limp boy up from beneath his arms and seemed to be having trouble supporting him. "Kurt! Help me out over here!" But the pale boy found himself stuck to the spot where he stood in the doorway, unable to move, unable to really breathe or think, eyes simply fixed on the syringe and metal can bottom that had clanked to the ground and fallen off of Blaine's lap when David pulled him up.

Wes ran over and helped David hold the weight of the curly-haired boy, and the two quickly made their way out of the room and down the hall, eventually towards the medical wing, Kurt assumed. The pale boy watched in horror at the two retreating figures and stood for a long moment, just staring, hypnotized, at the path they had gone.

Blaine had overdosed. Blaine had overdosed on _heroin_. That wasn't something that just happened all the time. That was something that you heard happen to your friend's cousin's neighbor, or something… This couldn't be really happening. What if Blaine got expelled for drug use…? Or… _Oh God._ What if he died? What if they had found him too late and it was all over? Was that limp, lifeless shell of a boy the last Kurt was ever going to see of Blaine?

_Blaine_, Kurt sighed, his head pounding with what he could only assume was _more_ than a hangover. _The stupid, brilliant, repulsive, addicting, standoffish, caring, damaged, strong, ugly, beautiful boy that has oh-so-kindly been thrown into my life and complicated it beyond my comprehension. _It seems like a week ago, or even last night, if someone had told Kurt that Blaine was going to be expelled, he would have been slightly grateful that he wouldn't have to deal with the daily drama it caused him. But, now? His body was twisting in pain at the very thought of never laying eyes on those conflicted hazel ones again.

He really didn't realize just how much he wanted this boy… He kept letting things get in the way – letting obstacles come between them that he could have dealt with or overlooked, and tried to convince himself over and over that this was so, so, very wrong. But he couldn't deny the part of his brain that thought, _I'm so grateful I got to kiss those lips one more time last night… What if it's the last time I'm able to…?_ And he finally admitted to himself that if he felt this way about _anyone,_ how so, so, very right it all was.

* * *

><p>Kurt yanked the shower knobs with more force than necessary, taking a fraction of his anger and confusion out on the inanimate object. Where was his damn roommate? Where were Jeff and Nick and Trent? <em>I'll have to deal with that later… For now, I have to get to class and not go missing, myself. <em>He let out an aggravated grunt as he realized he forgot his towel out in his bedroom, and stepped out into the room, finding it draped over the back of his chair where he left it the day before.

Just as the pale boy was about to reenter the bathroom, a series of loud knocks pounded on the door. "Rounds!" Kurt froze and glanced over to the empty side of the room, mentally cursing himself for forgetting rounds happened on Monday morning.

"C-come in!" Kurt blurted out, still holding the towel in his hands, standing still in his place. The door opened and the familiar guard that did rounds on his floor guided the German Shepard drug dog through the expanse of the room. The dog ran its nose up and down Kurt's body, not making any sign of interest and then sat loyally beside the guard. The man's eyes darted around the room, and if he noticed Thad's room was completely barren, he didn't say anything.

"Roommate in the shower?" He asked gruffly, sticking his thumb in the direction of the bathroom where the water was still running. Kurt wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be trying to protect Thad, and lie to the guard to keep him out of trouble, or if he should tell him his roommate was missing so they could try to locate him. In the end, Kurt ended up saying nothing and nodding dumbly, resulting in the man leaving the room without another word.

After his shower, Kurt got dressed deliberately, spending his extra time to complete his lengthy skin care routine and made his way out the door. It was still only 7:00, and he had half an hour before breakfast was served, but he needed to clear his head, and figured he could go for a walk, or try to get some kind of update on what was happening with Blaine. As he closed his door behind him, he turned around and nearly bumped into a shaken-up-looking Wes and David.

"You guys! What's happening? How's Blaine?" The two boys exchanged a worried look and then both shrugged warily. David stepped closer to the small boy and placed a hand on his shoulder in attempted comfort, but Kurt flinched away from the touch and his face knotted together in concern.

"He, um… He stopped…_breathing_ for a while, Kurt." The young boy's eyes grew immensely and David hurried to reassure him. "But – but the nurse said we caught him just in time! They, um, stabilized his breathing, I guess, but if he doesn't regain consciousness, they're gonna give him something that should help…"

Both Wes and David noticed the pale boy's face look strained and tight, small blotchy red patches scattering his face, an obvious sign he was about to break down. Even so, he swallowed loudly and nodded very slowly, not making eye contact with either boy. "Is he – I mean – Will he be alright…?" Before either boy could respond, a loud barking sound broke them out of their conversation and directed their attention to the room of the very boy they were discussing.

The door flung open and their floor's guard stormed out harshly, holding Justin's arms behind his back roughly and pushing him against the wall of the hallway.

"It's not mine! It's my roommate's! He's a fucking junkie!" The guard released him reluctantly but only to quickly call someone in on his radio. Very soon, the guard from the floor above theirs came pounding down the stairs and exchanged some whispered conversation with the other man, then they both entered the room and returned with the drugs and supplies collected in plastic bags, and allowed Justin to return to his dorm.

"Shit…" Wes spoke quietly, eyebrows raised in disbelief, having watched the entire scene unfold from his position in the hall, along with David and Kurt. The Asian boy blinked a few times and looked down at the floor, sighing. He turned to Kurt. "Well… Shit… Kurt, we're gonna go get ready and…we'll meet you at breakfast, or something…" Kurt nodded unhelpfully and without saying anything in response, quickly made his way down the hall, pulling his coat tighter around his body.

* * *

><p><em>Blaine flipped over his pillow again, pushing down to try to bury his face into the soft material, but his body was still restless. He sighed and sat up abruptly, running his hands through his hair and searching the room, as if he would find something that would distract his mind. All he could think about was the sweet, pale boy that lived four doors down from him, most likely sleeping at that very moment. He sighed, and covered his eyes with his hands. He messed up so badly… He was supposed to stop shooting up… He was supposed to be better, to be strong and right, to be everything everyone told him he'd never be… <em>

_The curly-haired boy drew his hands away and stared blankly at the wall in front of him. And he was supposed to do this all for Kurt. Because __this__ was his time… This was the time in his life that he was going to pull his act together, and get clean, and Kurt was more than enough motivation to do those things… He just wasn't strong enough. _

_He shook his head of messy curls and reached into the drawer by his bed and retrieved a cigarette and lighter, lighting it quickly and sucking in small, desperate breaths, and letting out the smoke, feeling his body already easing in relief from the nicotine. He sat and smoked until his cigarette burnt out, and he soon replaced it with another, lying back on his bed as he began inhaling this one._

_Blaine heard an annoyed, muffled grunt come from his roommate's bed and glanced over, trying to make out the boy in the dark. "Fuck. Take that shit outside, B," Justin mumbled sleepily, burying his face back into the pillows and making a low grumbling sound once again. Blaine raised an eyebrow, releasing the smoke one more time before springing up to his feet and making his way toward the door._

_"Mmm. Sorry," the curly-haired boy murmured softly in reply, stepping out and closing the door behind himself, escaping into the dark hallway. He tried not to acknowledge how much the room seemed to be spinning, realizing quickly that he was probably still very intoxicated. Blaine leaned up against his closed door and took a few long drags of his cigarette, eyes slowly adjusting to the dark._

_When he heard the creaking of a door opening, his heart sped up in surprise and his body instinctively flooded with adrenalin. He snapped his head in the direction of the noise, squinting in the dark to see Thad leaving his and Kurt's room, clad in warm, daytime clothes and carrying a duffel bag and backpack. _

_"Thad?" The boy in question jumped at the call of his name and whipped around, narrowing his eyes in the unlit hallway to see his curly-haired friend. When he recognized the onlooker as Blaine, his body tensed up and he glanced at the bags in his hands guiltily. "Thad, what the fuck are you doing?" Blaine took a few steps to approach the other boy, eyes taking notice in how stuffed his bags seemed to be, but Thad didn't say anything in reply. "Thad!" _

_The dark-haired boy shushed him frantically, taking a quick glance around, then eyed Blaine with a frustrated expression. "You're gonna wake everyone up, you idiot!" _

_"What the hell are you guys doing?" Both boys jumped about a foot in the air when a groggy, mumbled voice came from the door next to Thad's. After a few moments of their hearts returning to normal speed, Thad and Blaine focused their attention to the head of blonde hair that was sticking through the door. Jeff looked half-asleep, his hair sticking up in every direction and his eyes mostly closed as he clutched onto the door to hold his balance. His eyes fluttered open slightly and he gave the two boys in the hallway an expectant look. Thad stuttered as he tried to cover up._

_"N-nothing… We're just, um, having a smoke and-"_

_"What the – Oh, Jesus, Thad. You're not trying this again, are you?" Jeff interrupted, seemingly more awake as he noticed the bags in the dark-haired boy's hands. Thad dropped his things to the floor and let out an aggravated grunt._

_"Jeff, not now. I just found out his condition worsened, he went into a coma, and-"_

_"God, you guys are freaking loud," Nick mumbled, appearing suddenly behind Jeff in the doorway, causing the blonde boy to inhale a sharp breath in surprise. "What's this 'bout a coma?" He asked groggily through a yawn, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Jeff drew his attention away from his roommate and faced Thad with a sympathetic, and shocked, look on his face._

_"Theo's in a coma…?" _

_"…Yeah. I just got a text from my dad… He got a call from the hospital and…" The boy sighed, looking more vulnerable than he usually ever allowed himself to come off as. "I have to get the fuck out of here, you guys. My parents aren't back in the country yet and I __can't__ leave him alone in there."_

_Both Nick and Blaine looked thoroughly confused, and Jeff just let out a noise that sounded like a mix between a sigh and whimper. The boy ran his hands over his face, then through his messy blonde hair._

_"Shit, Thad. I know… I just… I still think it's risky…and… Screw it. I'm waking up Trent. He'll know what to do." And with that, the blonde boy strutted through the hall a few places down, and the rest of the boys watched in silence as he crept quietly in the familiar door, not bothering to knock or announce his presence beforehand. Blaine stood, his cigarette long burnt-out, and scanned the scene before him. Thad still looked upset and conflicted, whereas Nick appeared as confused as Blaine felt._

_"So…" He ran his free hand through his tousled curls and sighed, facing Thad. "I'm sorry, but what exactly is going on?" _

_"My brother… He's in the hospital – he's in a coma – and I need to go see him… But these guys think it's a bad idea for me to skip campus…" Blaine nodded slowly, eyebrows furrowing in thought._

_"Why… Why do you have to skip campus…?" Thad gave him a disbelieving look, and he quickly spoke to explain himself. "I-I mean, why can't you just get a pass or something? They're usually pretty cool with family emergencies, right?" _

_Thad shook his head and sighed. "My family – my parents – are out of the country. And they wouldn't call in, anyway. I just need to get out of here, and if I'm going through the trouble of breaking out… I don't know if I'm coming back."_

_"What?" Both Nick and Blaine asked in unison, varying levels of disbelief and horror in their voices. Before Thad could elaborate, the three snapped their heads around to face the noise that was coming from down the hall. Jeff was frantically pulling along a possibly-conscious Trent, who looked a little more than pissed to be woken from his drunken slumber._

_"Thad," the bigger teen grumbled threateningly, as he and Jeff approached the group. "Whus goin' on? Jeff's about to piss 'mself." The dark-haired boy sighed for what felt like the millionth time that night. _

_"He's in a coma, Trent. I need to get out of here... I need to go see him."_

_Trent nodded thoughtfully, running his hands down his face, trying to wake himself up. "Okay… Okay, we'll figure something out."_

_"Trent!" Jeff hissed, disappointed that the person he was counting on holding Thad back the most effectively, was actually encouraging him. Trent just shook his head and turned to face the lanky blonde teen._

_"Jeff, bro. I'm sorry, but I can't deny him the right to see his brother when he's like that... When Ben died, I would have done anything to be there… Not that Theo's gonna die, Thad," he added quickly, noticing the look he was getting from the dark-haired boy._

_"But – but he's not coming back!" Nick accused, pointing a finger at Thad, who looked pissed that he was about to escape without that certain aspect being brought up. Trent's eyebrows shot up in surprise._

_"What, now?"_

_"Trent, hear me out. I just want to stay with him until his condition improves… But I don't know how long that'll be. And if I miss enough school, they'll send me to juvie anyway, and I figured if I can sneak out, I could just lay low a while and-"_

_"Run from the cops?" Trent offered sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest. Thad sighed and threw his arms up in the air._

_"Yes. Yes, something like that."_

_Trent blinked a few times and nodded. "Fine. I still agree that you'll regret not seeing him, and I'm still standing by what I said and I'll help you get there… But fuck if I care what you do after you're out of this place." Jeff, Nick, and Blaine all looked horrified at this, their mouths falling open in shock, and Blaine stepped forward to come closer to the two boys interacting._

_"Wait. Thad. Think this out a little bit more, __please__," the curly-haired boy pleaded. "You're throwing away so much. You're going to be running away from the police for God knows how long, and your brother's not even conscious, he won't even know you're there-"_

_"No! Fuck you!" Thad spoke as loudly as he dared and stuck his finger in Blaine's face. "If you haven't noticed, B, our lives are already in the fucking garbage! And – and you wouldn't even begin to understand how important Theo is to me!" Blaine flinched back away from the boy, hurt twisting on his face. Thad's voice steadily rose as he continued yelling at the boy. "You don't have a brother – or – or anyone who loves you like that! You h-have no one! You have – you have nothing!" _

_All the air rushed out of Blaine's lungs. It felt like he had been punched in the stomach and jumped away from the other boy as though he had been burned._

_You have nothing._

_Nick's jaw fell open. "Dude, Thad-"_

_"No, no he's right. I don't have a brother…" Blaine all but squeaked out, taking a hesitant step back towards his dorm room. "I… I don't know what it's like…to…have someone like…that." The curly-haired boy awkwardly left the scene and opened his door, mumbling something that sounded like 'I have nothing' before disappearing behind his door._

_Everyone continued staring in shock at Thad, who simply remained stuck in place, face not changing from his irritated, heated expression. Before anyone could comment, he hurriedly grabbed his bags from the floor and faced Trent._

_"So, what's the plan?" _

_Trent shook his head briefly, trying to recover from the odd outburst from his friend. He looked thoughtful a moment before responding. "I think… Okay," he said with a determined tone, seeming to have decided something. "I'm not letting you go out by yourself, and get your ass caught, bro. This is how we're gonna do it." _

_Blaine stepped into his room and found himself having to hold a hand over his mouth, trying to keep his obviously hysterical breathing quiet. He knew if he let his hand fall, and continued in his uneven, hitching breath, he would start crying, and that just wasn't happening. _

_After settling down slightly, he knelt down onto the floor and pushed up the carpet, lifting up the floorboard, trying his best to make minimal noise. He lifted out his prized box and placed it on his lap, staring at it for a few seconds, suddenly feeling hot liquid run down the sides of his face. He quickly realized he was crying and his hands flew up, angrily rubbing the tears away. _

_"What're you doin'?" Blaine heard his roommate mumble quietly, startling him and causing him to snap his head around, seeing the boy had sat up slightly and was giving him a curious, confused look. _

_"I'm – nothing. Sorry, I'll be quiet," he assured Justin frantically, but the boy leaned over from his position to see where Blaine was kneeling, his eyes running over the removed floorboard and box in his lap and sighed irritably, then collapsed back onto his bed, yanking the covers over himself._

_"Whuhever," the boy murmured in response, then seemed to fall back into a deep sleep as his breath evened out, leaving Blaine to resume his actions. _

_He yanked the lid off the box and began to ready his supplies, preparing a dose of drugs. He really did have nothing. He had said it to himself before, as some kind of reason or justification for his actions, or as a way to remind himself that he wasn't jeopardizing anything when he did stupid, irresponsible things. But when someone else said it… He angrily increased the portion of white powder, not quite reaching two doses. He figured that if he got especially tired when he was generous with the dosage, __this_ _amount was bound to help him sleep. He knew it could be dangerous to not gradually up dosage, but what did it matter? _

_He did, after all, have nothing._

_Without giving it a second thought, he heated the contents of the can and readied the large amount of liquid into his syringe, sitting on his bed to better position himself for the sleep he hoped would come, and jabbed it into his arm._

_Then darkness took him. _

* * *

><p><em>All the while, Trent had called his cousin, who advanced to call in a family emergency to the school. As the campus guards and dean, who had been woken up at the call, were preparing the student pickup for Trent, Thad had snuck out past the main gates, which was a surprisingly easy task, and was making his way to the stretch of road that was past the school's entrance, although he was having a bit of trouble proceeding with his plan.<em>

_"-about your parents? You don't think they'll kick your ass when they find you missing?" Jeff increased his pace, trying to catch up with the dark-haired boy. Nick was soon on Thad's other side._

_"Seriously. And did you even think about it here at Dalton? They're going to notice you're gone in a few hours when you don't check into breakfast." Nick eyed the other dark-haired boy carefully, trying his best to make out his facial expressions in the still-dark air. Thad's face just morphed into an even more irritated glare and he finally stopped walking and whipped around to face the two boys._

_"What do I have to do to get you two off my fucking case?"_

_Jeff's lips tugged downward, and his face shifted into a look of concern. "We're just worried about you, Thad."_

_"Well…" The boy held the bridge of his nose. "How's this? If you guys cover for me, if you just tell them I'm really, really sick – you can tell Kurt to have it look like I'm in the bathroom puking when they come looking for me, or something – then, Nick, I'll give you the money you need to repay Vince."_

_Nick looked appalled and opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by his blonde roommate._

_"Done. But I can't guarantee how long it'll give you. We should be able to get you a few hours at least, probably enough time for Trent to drop you off, and for you to get settled and everything. But sooner or later, they're gonna try to find you, and notice you're not there." Thad nodded in reply, looking relieved that he finally seemed to make some sort of agreement with his two friends. Nick still had an expression of shock and slight embarrassment on his face._

_"Thad… Do you even have enough for that?"_

_The dark-haired boy sighed. "Not on me, no. But you guys are already out here, so might as well come with us to the nearest ATM. It'd be easier for you to sneak back onto campus once classes start, anyway." Nick still seemed reluctant at this odd deal, but Jeff nodded enthusiastically._

_"Yes. We'll do it. We'll cover for you… But only because this is Nick's wellbeing we're talking about here…" And the blonde boy gave a small look at Thad. "And I have to say, Thad, it's kind of low of you to dangle Nick's safety in front of our faces… Bribe us to make your escape easier…" Nick's glance shifted to the floor and he shuffled his feet around the ground, feeling slightly awkward at how the conversation had turned. Thad merely shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest and giving them the shielded, defiant look they all knew so well. "But we'll still do it." _

* * *

><p>Kurt's eyes were glued to the door, silently praying to the God he didn't believe in, that a familiar blonde or dark-haired head would come bouncing in through it. He drummed his fingers anxiously on his desk, his other hand in his mouth as he chewed off the remainder of his fingernails. <em>No amount of stress justifies this<em>, he thought vainly to himself, tearing his hand away from his teeth. He glanced to his right, sharing a brief look with Wes, who looked even more nervous than he felt. That couldn't be a good sign.

The bell echoed throughout the building and the chatter died out slowly within the room. Their English teacher, Mr. Goff, hopped up from where he was busy looking over papers at his desk and turned to face the class.

"Alrighty, everyone. Today, I… _Boys_…" Kurt, Wes, and David immediately tensed as their teacher's gaze bore into them. They all knew that tone too well. Even though he simply had used the word 'boys,' and they went to an all-boys school, suggesting he could _theoretically _be addressing any of them, everyone knew that was not the case. When Mr. Goff said 'boys' in that special tone like he had just said it, he was specifically calling out the seven boys Kurt had come to know very well. _Eight_, Kurt added mentally, realizing he was now included in this group that often got scolded. He wasn't sure if Mr. Goff simply noticed all the bad things he and his friends did, and decided to ignore the rest of the students' behavior, or if he actually disliked them. _There really isn't much of a difference,_ Kurt decided. "…Any reason why most of your little group is absent from class this morning?"

David instantly perked up into attention. "Blaine is in the medical wing," he informed the teacher hastily, hoping that having a good reason for at least one missing student would impress the man.

Mr. Goff's eyebrows shot up slightly in surprise and he approached his laptop and opened it, seemingly checking David's claims. "Yes, I see that… And Mr. Nixon has had a family emergency?" The teacher questioned them lightly, obviously reading the memo from the information the administration exchanged.

All three boys shared a quick look, eyes widening at this information. This was news to them. Wes suddenly nodded rapidly, and cleared his throat. "Y-yes, sir. Trent, um, left before breakfast this morning," he added randomly, hoping to distract Mr. Goff from the other three missing boys.

"Ah. Well… I hope nothing too serious happened with his family. And Mr. _Anderson_… Is _he_ alright? What happened for him to be sent to critical care in the hospital wing?" A few boys in class from their floor shrugged, seeming to not have known anything had happened to the curly-haired boy. Kurt blinked a few times when their teacher stared at him directly, giving him an expectant look.

"I – we don't know…what happened to him…sir," Kurt tried lamely, but his teacher raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Mr. Hummel, Mr. Montgomery, Mr. Thompson," he spoke as he addressed them each individually. "I know you're all very good friends with Mr. Anderson. And you seemed to know that he was taken to the medical wing… Surely you have some idea why."

David ran a hand over his head and stared at the chalkboard. "He overdosed," he mumbled quickly, then rested his chin on his hand, his mouth forming a tight line. The teacher looked stunned, letting out a breath in surprise before turning his face towards the floor and nodding thoughtfully.

"On?"

"H-heroin…" Wes offered quietly, noticing how extremely silent the classroom had grown. Mr. Goff only nodded, then went up to grab a stack of papers from his desk and began passing them out.

"Well, I'm sorry to…hear that. Now!" He spoke up and addressed the class as a whole. "You will partner up and begin working on a new project today." The class moaned and even a few 'boo's were heard, the students not afraid to show their disapproval of the required task. "Now, now! Gentlemen! Each pair will be each given a different short story to read, _my_ choice, of course. Then, as _partners_, you will write a single paper, reflecting on tone and mood, respectively. Two pages on tone, two pages on mood. No more, no less. Understood?" He got no acknowledgement in reply. "Alright, so, I'll give you a couple minutes to find your-"

"I'm sorry to interrupt Mr. Goff?" The teacher turned his head to the doorway where a security guard had addressed him. The man was holding onto both Jeff and Nick, both his hands on one of their shoulders. The two roommates looked positively frazzled, not in uniform, and their faces and posture gave away how little sleep they seemed to have gotten. "I was informed Mr. Sterling and Mr. Duval are supposed to be in your class this hour? They were found wandering the grounds and were not present during morning rounds or breakfast." Mr. Goff sighed in irritation and nodded, and the security guard released them and the two boys stumbled into their usual seats.

"Well, that clears up four of my five problems. Do you two boys, by any chance, know where Mr. Harwood could possibly be?" Nick and Jeff exchanged a quick glance, but before either of them could reply, Mr. Goff turned to Kurt. "What about you, Mr. Hummel? You never mentioned anything before. He _is_ you roommate, is he not?" Kurt's eyes widened dramatically and he opened his mouth to respond hesitantly.

"He…"

"He's really, really sick, sir," Nick cut in, making Kurt raise an eyebrow at the two boys questioningly. "He, um, was too sick to even get up for breakfast… Right, Kurt?" The pale boy only nodded quickly in response, not wanting to say anything else in chance of putting his foot in his mouth.

"Well, alright. You should see that he is attended on by a nurse, or taken to the medical wing, Mr. Hummel. It's your duty as his roommate to be responsible for him." Kurt simply nodded again, not daring to say anything in response. "As I was saying, I will give you all a few minutes to find partners for the new project. Choose carefully, you will have to write a _paper_ with this person. And the grades you receive on the project will determine whether or not you will be required to attend the midterm prep session on Thursday. The papers on due _this_ Wednesday, gentlemen. Okay, pair up everyone!"

Immediately, the five boys all turned toward one another, heads close together.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on? And where are Thad and Trent? Did he really have a family thing or-?"

"No. He faked that so he could sneak Thad out. Thad didn't have any family that was able to call in, so Trent snuck him out when his cousin came to pick him up this morning."

"So why exactly did Thad need to sneak out, again?" Kurt questioned the two boys in a hushed tone. Jeff ran a hand through his hair and gave a quick glance around before facing the pale boy.

"His brother's in a coma." Both David and Wes made twin pitying faces in reaction to the news, but Kurt simply raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"I didn't even know Thad had a brother…"

Wes's eyebrows flew up in surprise and he leaned in closer to Kurt, watching his face for his reaction as he spoke. "Thad never told you…? He has a _twin_ brother, Kurt," the Asian boy informed him gently, knowing how shocking news like this could be. Sure enough, Kurt immediately gasped and tensed, eyebrows knotting together in his confused attempt to understand.

"Wow…"

Nick nodded, sighing at the idea of Thad sitting beside his brother's hospital bed, worry etched onto his face. "Yeah… He kind of might not come back, either…"

"_What_?" Wes, David, and Kurt all hissed in unison, faces basically identical expressions of shock. As the class began quieting down, most students seeming to have chosen partners, Nick shook his head, sighing slightly.

"We'll explain later," he promised, turning his attention slightly back to the front of class before eyeing the surrounding desks, looking especially at the empty one next to Kurt, usually occupied with a particular curly-haired delinquent. "Wait, where's Blaine?"

* * *

><p>Kurt kept his head down as he exited his chemistry class, his thoughts in so many places. Jeff had filled him and David in on Thad's crazy plan during their last class, though he assured them that Trent would try to bring Thad back when he returned on the weekend. Kurt stared blankly at the ground he walked on, absently watching his black uniform shoes as they moved beneath him, seemingly on autopilot.<p>

"Kurt!" The boy snapped his head around at the call of his name, stopping and coming slightly out of his daze, blinking as a blur of blonde came running up to him, waving something in the air. Jeff came to a halt next to him, slightly panting and out of breath from the run, and held the object he was waving earlier to the pale boy.

_Oh._ It was his Chemistry notebook. That would have been a drag to lose…

"Thanks, Jeff… Didn't even realize I left it in there..."

"Yeah, no problem. So… What are you doing right now? You have a free hour, too, right?" Kurt nodded, his face void of any emotion. "Come on," the blonde boy waved Kurt in the opposite direction, pulling him by the elbow when the young boy didn't follow. "The guys who have off are going to visit Blaine… Come _on_!"

After arriving at the medical wing and signing their names in, the boys were led to the critical care unit of the area, sectioned off in a room in the back. Kurt wrapped his arms around himself as the woman leading them opened the door. There were six beds, each surrounded by a medley of expensive-looking, clean, professional machines. Only one bed was occupied, and Kurt's heart sank when he looked at the unconscious, curly-haired boy and so easily recognized him.

Two seats were already pulled up around his bed, filled by Wes and David, and Jeff walked past Kurt, leaving him in the doorway, frozen, and pulled up another two chairs. He sat down in one, then looked over his shoulder, confused as why the other had not already been filled. His eyes searched the pale boy's horror-struck face, and he noticed the death-like hold Kurt had on the frame of the door.

"Kurt? Come on, sit down," he offered, gesturing to the empty seat next to himself.

But Kurt remained still, too many flashbacks of too many hospital beds flooding his memory. Oh, how he hated hospitals. Why again had he agreed to come visit Blaine…? He figured a school medical wing wouldn't be as bad as a real, proper, hospital. And he had been sorely mistaken.

"You okay?" David questioned the young boy, having noticed Jeff's worried glance and following it, now focused on the pale, frightened face by the door. Kurt nodded frantically, then took slow, silent strides into the room and sat gingerly down on the plastic chair, noting mentally how they felt exactly like the ones in a real hospital. The entire time he moved, his eyes never left the lifeless body on the bed.

Blaine looked like he was hooked up to some sort of breathing device, a clear mask was surrounding his mouth and nose, held on by small plastic cords fitting around his ears. The mask was attached to a series of tubes and what seemed to be a pump, and his breathing was audible and throaty, like it was being processed through a machine, which Kurt realized, it basically was. His face was no longer as pale as it was in the morning, and they seemed to have removed his clothes, for where the blanket ended at his shoulders, his bare skin was visible.

Silence haunted the room, aside from the loud, obvious breathing coming from Blaine, and the steady beeping of his heart monitor, every second reminding Kurt that he was alive, that he hadn't lost someone else in a hospital bed, not yet. Jeff broke the silence by clearing his throat purposely and shifting his gaze from Blaine to the other boys in the room.

"So, do you think he's gonna, like, get expelled?"

Wes sighed tiredly and ran his hands over his face. "I don't know… Did we already tell you about rounds this morning?" Jeff nodded in reply and Wes rubbed his hands together thoughtfully. "Well, yeah. So, he could get busted for possession… But I don't know what they'll really do. Is that enough to kick him out?" But it was really a rhetorical question. Because no one really knew the answer.

And even though he knew no one would have an answer to this question either, Jeff felt the need to ask. "What about Thad…? What do you think's gonna happen to him?" Kurt bit the inside of his cheek and refrained from saying anything. He knew how stubborn his roommate could be, he was sure everyone knew. If Thad was determined to break out of Dalton, there was a good chance he would stick with it. David shrugged tiredly and Wes huffed, sounding slightly irritated.

"Why don't _you_ tell _us_? You're the one who went along with him, and then shipped him off."

Jeff's face showed his obvious hurt and he lowered his voice. "Wes… You know I didn't want Thad to go… It was _Trent_ who went and took him… And the only reason we went along was to get the money he said he'd pay us. And we had to get it! Nick could be _dead_ right now if he hadn't paid that fucker back this morning!" Wes just rolled his eyes in return, his attention shifting back to the unresponsive boy lying in the bed in front of them. "Besides," Jeff continued in a voice barely above a whisper. "Trent said he's gonna try to bring him back with him this weekend. And if he comes back that soon, he won't get expelled."

A nurse appeared in the doorway and Jeff, Wes, and David all turned to see her face, looking surprised at the visitors that had come, while Kurt remained gazing intently at Blaine. The nurse gave them a small, gentle smile, though it seemed more standard procedure than anything, and made her way over to the patient. She began fiddling with his IV and David raised an eyebrow at her as she seemed to be connecting Blaine to some kind of medicine drip.

"What are you doing?" He questioned her politely, more curious than anything about what sort of treatment was being given to his friend.

"I've been instructed to start him on a low dose of naloxone. He hasn't regained consciousness yet, and this should bring him around very quickly, as well as help reverse some of the effects of the diacetylmorphine," she explained, finishing her actions and glancing over Blaine's charts. When she saw the boys were still giving her slightly unhopeful, expectant looks, she continued. "And, um, once he wakes up and we get him breathing properly on his own, he'll be ready to be released," she nodded, then left the room promptly, leaving the boys in the room in a slight confused daze.

"'Released'…?" David repeated, furrowing his eyebrows together.

"Like… _released_, released? Is he going to be able to stay at Dalton…?"

"We don't _know_, Jeff. _We_ only know everything _you_ know," Wes snapped at the blonde boy unfairly, who shrunk back slightly, a wounded expression falling over his face. He looked down to the floor and nodded, not seeing the glare the Asian boy was receiving from his roommate.

"_Wesley._ Don't be an asshole," David scolded him, then as he caught sight of the pale boy sitting next to Jeff, his annoyed expression dropped. "Kurt…?" But the small boy didn't respond, continuing his blank stare. Jeff tentatively placed an arm on his shoulder, initiating a violent jump from Kurt, causing him to nearly fall out of his own chair.

"Shit! Calm down, Kurt. It's okay…" The blonde boy saw Kurt's face twisted in worry as his eyes raked over the various machines and tubes surrounding Blaine. "They started him on that treatment, he'll be _fine_."

_"Kurt, baby. I'll be okay… The doctors started me on a new treatment. I'll get better."_

Kurt shook his head briefly, pushing away the sickening memories and facing the blonde boy. "'m sorry," he murmured, burying his face in his hands and letting out a shuddering breath he didn't realize he was holding. The three other boys in the room shared a quick look before Wes leaned over, trying to get a better look at Kurt's face.

"Kurt… You have nothing to be sorry for…" Wes said slowly, like he was truly trying to be sure the words were absorbed into Kurt's brain. The pale boy only nodded absently, not making eye contact with any of them.

After a while of general silence, David cleared his throat deliberately, and stood up. "Well… French starts in about 15 minutes. Should we…?" And without any other prompting, Wes and Jeff stood up as well, slowly making their way to the door.

"Kurt?" Jeff stopped in the doorway as he saw the young boy had not followed them. Kurt tore his eyes away from Blaine and turned to face the blonde. "Are you coming with us…? To French?"

Kurt blinked a few times, then turned back around to face the curly-haired, broken, boy in the bed. "I – no. No, you guys go ahead, I'm gonna… I'll, um, be there in a few minutes," he assured them, waving his hand slightly in dismissal. Wes cocked an eyebrow, giving the young boy a questioning look, but before he could comment, he was tugged on the elbow by David, as the three boys exited the room, leaving Kurt alone with the boy he told himself so many times not to fall for.

"Oh _God_, Blaine… What have you _done_ to yourself…?" Kurt spoke out loud, hardly above a whisper. He moved to the chair nearest to Blaine's head, and ran his fingers over the boy's collarbone, trailing feather-light touches in a way so delicate and intimate it even surprise himself.

He continued his physical exploring, his hands moving up to trace the outlines of the boy's chapped lips, the same lips he had given into. Twice. The lips that he had surrendered to, admitted defeat to, let take him and had fallen under the spell of. His hand next moved up to play idly with the small piercing that adorned the boy's eyebrow.

Kurt thought back to all the different identities and descriptions that had run their course in his mind, the terms that he had used to define Blaine.

First he was a mysterious bad boy, an _attractive_, mysterious bad boy. A stranger. One that seemed to practically electrify him with all the instant connection and pull he felt towards him, confusing Kurt with the spark he felt.

Then he was a friend. A nice, slightly confusing, _gay_ friend who could randomly be hot or cold, depending on the hour. One Kurt saw himself so quickly falling for. Someone he knew he _shouldn't_ go for, who was all _wrong_ for him, but someone he still found himself trying to stay away from.

Next he was a player. An asshole who was trying his best to flirt with Kurt to hook up with him, just wanting him for sex.

Most recently he was a _mess._ A drug-addicted, manipulating mess, who Kurt thought lied to him so that he would trust him, so Blaine could get into Kurt's pants, not caring if he played with Kurt's feelings.

Now, as Kurt stared down at the boy, the mysterious stranger, friend, player, mess of a boy that had come so far in the terms of Kurt's opinion and interpretation of him, he saw something else entirely. Something that explained and covered all the other personas.

_Broken,_ Kurt thought suddenly, his heart throbbing painfully in his chest as the realization fully took over him. _He's so, so __broken__… That's why he tries to be a bad boy. And why he would be unpredictable with his moods, it wasn't just the drugs; it was him fighting between himself and the person he learned to come off as. It certainly explains why he hooks up with boys, and why he so passionately abuses drugs… _Kurt felt a hot tear roll down his face and ignored the tickling it caused as it ran down his cheek, and the salty taste of it seeping into his trembling lips.

_Broken. Not fragile, not close to being broken, or breakable. No,_ Kurt reached out for Blaine, through the material of the blanket covering him, and searching until he felt the other boy's hand. _This boy lying in front of me is positively broken._

He remembered having this feeling before. Having these thoughts almost exactly, nine or so years before. Staring at his mother as Kurt realized she was done, that _she_ was _broken._ But this was different. Blaine had the chance to come back from this. And damn it if Kurt didn't do his best to make sure that happened.

_"All this talk of getting old  
>It's getting me down, my love<br>Like a cat in a bag, waiting to drown  
>This time I'm comin' down…"<em>

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, letting more tears drop heavily. He remembered singing to this _very_ song, listening to the lyrics and crying when his mother had died. He knew it was a different situation, and that the lyrics weren't usually interpreted in the way of a drug addiction, but the lyrics felt so true at the moment, and he couldn't help it as the words escaped his lips.

_"And I hope you're thinking of me  
>As you lay down on your side…"<em>

Kurt reached out to run his hand along the boy's side, his body seeming to react slightly to the touch, but when Kurt's eyes searched his face for any kind of signs of consciousness, he found nothing.

_"Now the drugs don't work  
>They just make you worse<br>But I know I'll see your face again…"_

Kurt couldn't hold back any longer, letting out a strangled sob and breaking on the last syllable of the line. He reached out blindly, his eyes clamped closed as more tears fell, and clutched onto Blaine's limp arm, holding on tight enough that he was sure if Blaine could feel right then, it would hurt.

He continued singing, his voice quieter and strained, but it felt so, _so_ good. He hadn't sung in so many months, hadn't used his voice in this way in so long. His voice echoed in the small, empty room, ringing out clear, regardless of the low volume.

Blaine's mind began clearing up slightly, and the first thing he acknowledged was the tight ache in his heart he got, as he heard hauntingly angelic singing. He had to force himself to stay in some form of aware state, not letting himself to drift back to darkness. He held onto the voice, and felt the grip someone had on his arm. As he pressed through, pushing himself into a more awake place, he realized with a sudden jolt through his spine that he recognized the voice.

_Kurt._

He tried with all he had to open his eyes, to say something, to move his arm or grab the boy's hand. His body wouldn't budge. He momentarily dwelled on the fact that the pale boy had claimed he couldn't sing… But as soon as he gave up trying to make his body respond, he just focused on the effects of the gentle voice, letting his body be washed away in its surreal quality, its captivating value.

_"But if you wanna show, just let me know  
>And I'll sing in your ear again…"<em>

Blaine felt the young boy's body hunch over his as he sang the words, his body wracking with sobs. He rested his head on Blaine's chest, and the curly-haired boy could feel the warm, wetness of tears seeping through his blanket. He brought his head up as he sang the last lines of the song, repeating the words and his voice getting quieter as he faded out.

_"I'm never going down, I'm never coming down  
>No more, no more, no more, no more, no more<br>I'm never coming down, I'm never going down  
>No more, no more, no more, no more…no… more…"<em>

And with that, Kurt stood up abruptly, wiping his face roughly, ridding his face of the angry, miserable, hysterical tears. The tears that had so much meaning behind him. The tears that were a mix of horror from what had happened to Blaine and a distressed sadness of the memory of his mother. Sniffing a few times and trying to compose himself slightly again, Kurt fled the room briskly, and left Blaine alone, stunned and confused, wondering if the beautiful voice he'd heard was a drug-induced hallucination.

_Maybe I'm dead…_

Before he could entertain his thoughts any longer, darkness took him again, and he figured he would find out later, when he woke up again... If he woke up again.

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"…" Jeff heard a shuddering sigh on the other end of the line. The blonde boy glanced down to his cellphone, seeing the caller ID clearly said 'Trent.'

"Trent…? _Thad_?" He tried, lowering his voice at the second name. Thad had been found to be missing, that morning, after three days, when the boys couldn't keep up the sick charade anymore.

"Theo's dead," he heard the boy mutter painfully, recognizing the voice as Trent's.

"_What_?" Jeff could hear shuffling going on and finally a quiet _click!_ which suggested Trent left the room he was in.

"Um… About…two hours ago…"

"Holy _shit_… How's… How's Thad?" Jeff heard another loud sigh, this one sounding a little more tired and distressed.

"Well… I mean, as you'd expect, I guess… Jeff, bro, he hasn't even said a word since it happened…"

"Was he _there_ when it happened?"

"We both were… I don't know what happened really, but I guess his body failed, or whatever, and Thad just sat there, not doing anything…"

"…_Fuck_… Well, shit. Does that mean…? I mean, is he – is he coming back…? They… finally realized he wasn't sick in his dorm."

"…When?"

"This morning."

"How the _hell_ did you guys keep that going for this long?"

"…I don't know. Kurt was able to play it up pretty well – wait. You didn't answer my question. What's Thad doing now that he doesn't have his brother to…_you know_. Is he gonna come back with you this weekend?"

"I don't know, man. I told you already, he hasn't talked yet… But I'm planning on bringing him back, if I can… But we'll figure out later, I guess… How are things around there? How's Blaine holding up?" Now it was Jeff's turn to let out a long sigh, rubbing his free hand over his face as he sat down on the edge of his bed.

"He's… Well, we found out yesterday that he's not being charged for possession again… I guess they're not really doing _anything_ in response to what happened…"

"…Really?"

"Yeah… Well, no. No, they're putting him on level two probation, but they're not _really_ doing anything… They're not kicking him out or charging him. They just released him on Monday night, and he went back to his dorm... Then last night, the RA came by to tell him he was on probation, and all that, so… Yeah."

"Fuck… H-how is he, though? I mean, they confiscated his stuff?"

"Yeah, and apparently his dealer's out of town. So… He's been having some really bad withdrawal... It sucks."

"That's rough, bro…" Jeff heard some noises in the background on Trent's end of the line and there seemed to be a woman's voice talking. "Look, Jeff, man. I gotta bounce. But tell everything I said hi, and I'll be back on Saturday…hopefully bringing Thad."

"Okay… Bye, Trent."

"Later, bro."

Jeff hung up and let his head fall back onto his bed, squeezing his eyes shut and taking in a long, even breaths. Theo was dead… That was a bad thing… A very bad thing. But in a way, if he was _going_ to die at some point soon, better for Thad that it happened in this short of a time. Now he would be punished for being away past curfew, for breaking out of school grounds. Since he didn't miss enough school to forfeit his semester, 10 days, he would be permitted to continue his schooling, and wouldn't be punished for attempting an escape.

That was all _if_ Trent was able to convince him to come back…

"_Damn it_!"

Jeff shot upright, snapping his head to face the door, where he heard the voice coming from. He ran out of the door and peeked his head out, seeing many other boys on his floor doing the same. He looked down the hall three doors, where he caught the last bit of someone entering the room, Blaine's room, most likely Wes or David, and by the looks of some of the boys in the hall that could see into the room properly, something was up.

Next to him, Kurt's door opened briefly and the pale boy poked his head out, a flustered look on his face, his hair damp and slightly tousled. Kurt gave the blonde boy a quick glance, blushing and looking away after the short-lived eye contact. Jeff raised his eyebrow questioningly at the boy's apparently embarrassed expression, and looked over the boy momentarily, fully taking in his appearance, and mentally finding it humorous that the boy was so shy about having being caught just out of the shower.

"Um, Kurt," he said quickly, when the pale boy was beginning to retreat back into his room, not quite seeing which room had been the cause of the commotion. "Should we go over there?" He stuck his thumb in the direction of Blaine's still open door.

"Is that where the yelling was coming from?" Jeff nodded in reply and without any other prompting, both boys began to make their way to said dorm.

When they came to the doorway, Kurt froze, mentally wondering why it seemed like every time he saw Blaine recently, he was freaked out to the point of his breath rushing out of him. Jeff scurried past him, finding Nick, Wes, and David already surrounding him on his bed.

Blaine was curled up on his bed, shaking violently, his body jerking every few moments. He had tears running down his face and with one hand he was clutching his stomach, and with the other, he had a grip on his right thigh. Wes was grasping one of the boy's shoulders, trying his best to cease his shaking, and David was trying to remove the tight hold the boy had on his body. Jeff approached the scene hesitantly, stopping next to where his roommate was standing. Nick noticed the two boys' presence and acknowledged them with a gently nod, then turning his attention to Blaine's roommate.

"_Justin_. Why the fuck haven't you done anything with him? How long has he been going on like this?"

Justin glanced up from where he was playing idly with his phone and shot a quick glance at his roommate, then shifted his attention to Nick. "I don't know. I came in here an hour ago and he was throwing up in the bathroom… Not my fault he fucked himself up."

Blaine suddenly bolted up into a sitting position and vomited, most all of it seeming to be water, the bile landing on his shirt and pants, as well as the bedspread. David and Wes jumped back instinctively, and Justin glanced over again, making a face at the mess.

"Screw this. I'm outta here," he grumbled, getting up to leave his roommate with his friends to deal with him. Blaine continued shaking, sobbing as he spit the remaining fluid from his mouth, tears continuing to flow from his eyes, his face twisted in pain. Wes's hands flew up to grab his own hair, yanking slightly and turning to face David.

"Okay. What are we doing? What're we gonna do?" David simply shook his head in response, eyes darting around the room to look for something that would dissipate some of their problem. He seemed to finally give up, letting out a defeated sigh.

"I don't know… We need to get to that prep session in five minutes."

"I'll stay," Kurt said suddenly, abandoning his spot in the doorway and tentatively approaching the group of boys.

Nick shot him a skeptical look. "You need to go to that, too, you know. It's mandatory."

"No, the paper I wrote for Blaine and me tested us out of it... Now go! You're gonna be late. I'll deal." He approached the curly-haired boy in the soiled bed and put a hand on his back, trying to silently guide him out of bed. The others in the room exchanged a few looks before leaving the room. "Come on, Blaine. Get up… We'll get you into the shower…" He took one of Blaine's arms and got him to weakly stand, having to support most of the boy's weight. As Kurt held the boy upright, he could feel how aggressively his body was shaking, hardly seeming to be responsive to his surroundings in his state of pain.

He led the curly-haired boy to his bathroom and set him down gently on the closed toilet, leaving him there to reach into the shower and run the faucets. Kurt stuck his hand to feel the spray, adjusting the temperature until it was comfortable and warm. He turned back around to face Blaine, seeing he was hunched over himself, face still contorted in pain as he whimpered quietly.

"Come here… Blaine. _Blaine_, come here," Kurt tried to yank the boy into a standing position, mentally reminding himself to _never_ do hard drugs, if not just for the withdrawal possibility alone. He reluctantly complied, falling forward and resting his head on Kurt's shoulder. After making sure he wasn't getting any vomit on himself, Kurt carefully began untying Blaine's tie and shedding his blazer, removing it from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. The curly-haired boy let out a hard breath, and Kurt had to focus to keep him upright as he trembled harshly, his legs not wanting to support him.

"Kurt," Blaine moaned, his hand frantically coming up to grasp Kurt's hip, causing the young boy to raise an eyebrow in question and surprise, but not say anything. "I'm – I'm – oh God. Kurt, I'm _so_ sorry," he breathed, as Kurt was concentrating on unbuttoning his white oxford. He finally was able to remove it completely and cleared his throat, trying not to get turned on by the bare, sweaty chest.

_I didn't think chest hair would be one of my turn-ons…_ Kurt mused absently. He was drawn back into reality as the grip on his hip tightened and Blaine groaned out in pain again, tumbling down onto the floor and flinging the toilet lid up and emptying his stomach roughly. _Yeah, not so turned-on anymore…_

After the boy was done vomiting, Kurt flushed the toilet for him, and handed him a wet washcloth. Blaine sat up next to the toilet and Kurt closed the lid, helping the boy to sit back on it. Despite his severe trembling, Kurt fought to undo Blaine's belt, popping the button and pulling down the zipper of his pants, still avoiding getting throw-up on himself. He patted Blaine's thigh lightly, silently asking him to lift his hips so Kurt could pull the slacks off. He folded them and picked up the dirty clothes from the floor, bundling them together in his arms. He pulled a clean towel out from a cabinet and placed it on the counter, and turned to leave the room when he felt a hand fall onto his shoulder.

Kurt turned around in confusion to see Blaine holding onto his shoulder for support, head down and eyes closed and he started to step out of his boxer-briefs. Kurt's face flooded with color and he whipped his head around, determined to not have this the first time he saw Blaine's penis. _Not that I'm planning on seeing it on any other occasion!_ Kurt was jolted back into reality when the hand on his shoulder became heavier and he had to drop the clothes in his hands and whip around in order to prevent Blaine from falling over.

Kurt's face turned into an impossibly even-redder shade when the boy fell into his arms, completely naked, his body jerking, his skin burning hot. He felt like he had a fever.

"Sorry, b-baby. I'm – I'm s-sorry. I – I feel so...so-"

"It's fine, Blaine. It's okay. Just…let me help you get into the shower. It's been running for five minutes, already," he mumbled in reply, keeping his eyes on the ceiling, trying to ignore the fact that Blaine's naked leg was daringly close to his half-hard penis. The curly-haired boy nodded stupidly, then allowed Kurt to lead him until he was under the running water, the heat causing him to moan in relaxation, thus causing Kurt to bite his lip in sexual frustration. "I'll, um, be downstairs. Taking your clothes and bed sheets to wash them. I'll be right back. I'll leave the door open i-in case you need some…help getting out…"

"Thank you s-so much, Kurt, baby. I'm – I'm a fuckin' mess. Thank you…so much for this…" His voice was muffled by the noise of the water, and Kurt just nodded in reply, trying to decide if Blaine calling him 'baby' annoyed him or made his stomach flutter. He was pretty sure he knew which one it was. He gathered up the clothes again and walked out of the bathroom, throwing them onto Blaine's bed. He stripped the sheets, bundling up the clothes within them and hauled the entire load out of the room, making his way down to the laundry room.

When he returned, he began replacing the bed sheets with an extra set from Blaine's closet, when he heard a loud _thump!_ coming from the bathroom and a resulting strangled moan. Kurt sprang up and ran over, flinging the shower curtain open only to find Blaine curled up in the fetal position on the bathtub floor, his back (thankfully) facing Kurt. Kurt turned the shower off and reached to grab the towel and draped it over Blaine's waist.

"Blaine…? Blaine, are you okay…?" All he got in reply was a cry of discomfort and the boy in the shower brought his legs up to his chest and squeezed his thighs in his hands, his face so twisted and wounded-looking that Kurt couldn't stop himself from bending down and brushing the sopping curls from Blaine's face, panic running through his body. "B-Blaine, baby?" Kurt widened his eyes at his own words. _Where the hell did that come from?_

"M-my legs," Blaine moaned. "My legs are – are killing me!" Kurt nodded frantically, trying to think of anything that would help. He shot up to his feet and wet a washcloth with cold water, bringing it back and pressing it against the boy's aching body, keeping it on his thighs.

_When the hell did this happen?_ Kurt thought to himself as Blaine's whimpers began to subside. _When did I get so incredibly attached to this boy? I've hardly known him for over a month and yet here I am, worrying my heart out over him, taking care of him like I would one of my best friends… Calling him __baby__…_

Blaine tried with all his might to control his shaking. His body was aching all over like a constant pressure was pushing him from all directions. His legs were the worst, though. They ached and twitched and burned and it was like an itch he couldn't properly scratch, no matter how hard he tried. He pressed against them and grabbed at them, but the ache remained. The cool towel helped at first, but the fever on his skin just seemed to heat it up. He needed something, anything to help this pain.

"S-sing for me, K-Kurt," he breathed out, stuttering over his words. Kurt froze in his actions of running his hand up and down Blaine's back.

"W-what?"

"Sing for m-me. _Please_. It's s-so pretty…"

Kurt nodded slightly, realizing suddenly that Blaine must have been in some state of awareness when he was in the medical wing, and resumed his rubbing on the boy's back.

"What do you want me to sing?" Kurt all but whispered, and he paused his actions to reach around Blaine's face and brush the hair from his eyes.

"Anything…"

Kurt swallowed and cleared his throat quickly, his eyebrows furrowing together as he tried to think of something to serenate the sick boy with. It was strange, really, trying to think of something to sing after so many long months without singing. There should be a million songs that his voice is dying to hold, yet one popped up in his mind that he'd sung so many times before.

_"No more talk of darkness  
>Forget these wide-eyed fears<br>I'm here  
>Nothing can harm you<br>My words will warm and calm you…"_

The words left his mouth like he had been practicing every day. There was no hesitation, no obvious flaws from his voice being so long neglected. Kurt's hand found a comfortable place on the small of Blaine's back, just pressing softly, hoping something from the song and some of his strength could be transferred to the weak boy, whose body was trying to remind itself how it worked without heroin.

_"Let me be your freedom  
>Let daylight dry your tears<br>I'm here  
>With you, beside you<br>To guard you and to guide you…"_

Kurt hesitated slightly before jumping into the female part, usually not sung accompanying the male part as one solo. But he figured the upcoming lyrics needed to be heard as well.

_"Say you love me  
>every waking moment<br>turn my head  
>with talk of summertime<em>

Say you need me with you  
>now and always<br>promise me that all you say is true  
>that's all I ask of you…"<p>

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat and he found himself unable to continue. He swallowed loudly and patted Blaine gently on the shoulder, urging him to move from his place on the cold, wet floor of the shower.

"…Why'd you stop?"

Kurt just blinked, staring down at the crumpled person, so oblivious to what place singing holds in his heart, how much singing shaped so many parts of his life. "Come on, Blaine… Get up, I'll get your bed ready for you. You don't want to stay in this bathtub."

He helped the boy to his feet and wrapped the dark blue towel more firmly around his waist, leading him into the other room and helping him onto the almost-prepared bed. Kurt pulled on the last corner of the fitted sheet and threw the covers on, placing the pillows gently at the head of the bed. He gingerly helped Blaine into the covers, and once he was secure under the protection of the blankets, he pulled off his towel, and handed it helplessly to Kurt, his own eyes falling shut from exhaustion.

The pale boy sighed, rolling his eyes, and brought the towel up to begin drying off Blaine's still soaking wet curls, rubbing it on his hair vigorously. He left it draped over the boy's head and left to approach his dresser. Kurt rummaged through the top drawer, and pulled out a pair of dark red boxer briefs.

"Here. Put something on," he tossed them on the bed but Blaine made no sign of responding, his eyes still closed and the wet towel still hanging over his head, half-covering his face. _He looks so pathetic…_ Kurt raised an eyebrow and sighed again, stepping over to the boy and snatching the underwear from where he had thrown them earlier. "You want me to _help_ you put these on, Blaine…? Or do you not _want_ to put them on?"

Blaine's eyelids fluttered and he seemed confused and ended up just nodding slowly in response, resulting in the towel falling from his head and onto the ground, and closed his eyes again.

"Yes, what? Yes, you want help? Or yes, you don't want them?" But the curly-haired boy just curled into his own shoulder, body still clearly shuddering, whether from the drug-withdrawal or from the fever, – which was _from_ the drug-withdrawal – Kurt didn't know.

Kurt sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time that day and pushed up the comforter to reveal Blaine's feet. He tugged on the underwear, lining them up on his feet, and began to raise them up Blaine's legs. When he got to the point where he couldn't move anymore, Blaine lifted his hips, Kurt could feel his body trembling from the strain, and tugged them up all the way, carefully avoiding touching any unnecessary places.

"Kurt… Kurt, I r-regret so many things… I-in my life…" Kurt watched with curious eyes at Blaine's sudden confession. He took a seat on the bed beside the boy and found where his hand was beneath the blanket and grabbed it through the material, squeezing it gently. "I… I f-fucked up…_so_ bad. I'm so sorry… Everything I did to you," he mumbled, his voice getting weaker and weaker as the sentence went on.

"Shh… It's okay… I…forgive you… I – I _understand_, Blaine. I should never have thought that quitting this was something you could do on your own. I'm sorry for putting you in that kind of situation…" At this, Blaine opened his eyes slightly, taking in Kurt's sincere face and letting a tiny smile grace his lips, though it soon was replaced with a pained look.

"The… The f-first time I did it, was on m-my birthday," he spoke in a soft, slow voice. Kurt could tell from the way Blaine's voice sounded and from the look in his face that this wasn't something he told a lot of people. "I was 15… M-my parents were in Italy… And they didn't remember…it was my birthday. And I-I had already done…other stuff, but nothing like…that. And it was a F-Friday, and there was a party…in my neighborhood. So I went. And there were these guys doing it… And I just _did it_," he added the last part in almost a whisper, sounding confused like he couldn't even justify the reason himself. "And then two months later, I got c-caught. And sent here."

Kurt stroked the boy's hair with his other hand, pushing the damp curls away and gently running his finger over his piercing. Blaine made eye contact with the boy and his eyes looked so insanely sad that Kurt's heart dropped just seeing them.

"I made…_so_ many mistakes…in those t-two months… _Two months._ I… I lost the only friends I had… I…" He trailed off, his face breaking into a painful, wounded expression. His breath hitched and he started hiccupping in dry cries. "I… I… lost…my v-virginity…to a guy…who…who…s-said he'd give me smack if I…b-blew him…" Blaine let out a true sob, surprising Kurt in the raw emotion he was seeing. "He… I…s-started doing it…and he d-didn't stop… He…just _did_ _it_…to me… But…I didn't tell him to stop…"

Kurt was stunned. He had no idea what was driving Blaine to tell him these things, and he had no idea what to respond with. He ran his hand up and down the boy's side in what he hoped was a comforting manner. He shifted and scooted a bit closer until he was sitting next to the crying boy, and pulled him so he was partially lying with his head on Kurt's shoulder, and just ran his hand up and down and up and down his arm, making soft, shushing noises, realizing how oddly similar this comforting was to when Blaine had found Kurt after his nightmare, though the roles reversed.

_"Anywhere you go  
>Let me go, too<br>Love me_

_That's all I ask of you…"_

Blaine ceased his crying, attempting to get his breathing in check and back to normal and determined to not let himself feel embarrassed about what he had revealed. He'd never told anyone about his loss of virginity, and yet, he felt he wanted to. He needed someone to know what that drug had taken from him, everything it had taken from him. He now had nothing…

And yet, as he heard Kurt humming the tune of the last line over again, he realized something_. Maybe I do have something... If I have a precious, beautiful boy singing to me when I'm in a sick, drug-detoxing, daze. If I have a life where I can hear that voice just one more time, it's all I ever really need. If I have a life where Kurt is part of it, regardless of whether or not we're involved, or having sex, or not having sex, I have something._

Yes, maybe he did have something._  
><em>

* * *

><p>Kurt looked down at the paper in front of him.<p>

**Suppose that A, B, and C are 3 points in a plane, such that AB = AC = BC = 1. At each point in time, A is moving toward B, B is moving toward C, and C is moving toward A, all with speed v = 50**

Kurt looked to the model at the left side of the page with a cocked eyebrow. Maybe he should have been paying more attention in Calculus… If _this _was the kind of thing that was going to be on the final in December, he was royally screwed. The midterm he had earlier that day had seemed so…_simple._And this diagram just looks like a bunch of crazy triangles mixed together!

**At what time(t) will all the points be the same point? Express your answer to the third decimal place.**

"You know what I mean, Kurt?" Kurt glanced over at his roommate, who was laying fully on his bed, third cigarette of the night in hand, looking at him expectantly.

After Thad's brother died, he had returned back to campus that following weekend with Trent. He then proceeded to tell the teachers and staff that he had been wandering around campus for a week, and since they had no proof or security footage of him sneaking out, he was only punished with being out during curfew and not attending meals and classes.

"I'm sorry…? I wasn't listening."

Thad blew out the smoke from his mouth and sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed to face Kurt. "Just that it's unfair of them to put me on level three. I mean, _right_ before a holiday? If I had an actual family that loved me and everything, I wouldn't even be able to leave for tomorrow… What are you doing?"

Kurt didn't even glance up as he responded. "I'm just finishing some Calc that's due next week because I'm _actually_ planning on rehearsing this weekend. I mean I get that last weekend was really the first time Blaine was able to sing, so before that it was just getting the whole group in order, but seriously. Still sounds _awful._ And I'm waiting for a call from Jeff because we have a lab report due Monday and he's going away for the weekend and-"

"Kurt," Thad interrupted him, his eyebrow raised. The young boy looked up at him with curious eyes. "I meant for _Thanksgiving._ What are you doing for _Thanksgiving?_"

Kurt returned his eyes to his paper and a slightly sad, fond smile graced his lips. "Oh," he breathed out lightly. "I'm just staying here, I guess…" Thad nodded, seeing the obvious hurt that was in the pale boy's face.

"Yeah, well… Fuck family, right? Most of the guys are staying here, anyway."

Kurt nodded. Sure, it stung that his family hadn't contacted him yet. Except for Finn, who texted him every so often, and called him a couple times. But he really _did_ want to rehearse with the Warblers that weekend. Even though Blaine knew he could sing, he still hadn't told the others. He was waiting for the right time. But on the up side, during the few weeks they had begun regular practices, they had managed to get the _entire_ group therapy class to join them, and they were all really starting to sound like an a cappella group, regardless of the fact that Blaine had still been too sick to join them until the previous week…

Kurt's thoughts were cut off as his cell phone started ringing on the table next to his bed. He snatched it up hastily, not even bothering to check the caller ID, already knowing who it was.

"Jeff. So, do _you_ have the charts we filled out? Because I thought I had them, but-"

"Kurt?" Kurt froze. That was not Jeff. That was most certainly _not_ Jeff. He pulled the phone away from his ear and glanced down, noting that the caller ID said 'Home,' not 'Jeff.' _Home…_ Kurt nearly scoffed, thinking how little meaning that word had anymore.

"I – Hello…? Carole…?"

"Oh! Sweetheart! It's so nice to hear your voice! How are you doing?" Kurt had to stop himself from getting too angry. He knew this day would come. He knew – or hoped, rather – that his family would someday call him and want to get back in touch. He just didn't think it'd be Carole… Or that she'd sound so…_happy_…

"Er – hi. Carole… I'm…" Kurt glanced around the room, mentally thinking back over all the experiences he'd had in the past five or so months since he'd last spoken properly to her… In the past two months, even, since he'd been at Dalton. "…okay…"

"…Well, I'm glad to hear that… So, Kurt," she began, taking a different tone of voice, "I wanted – _we_ wanted – to know if you were willing to come home for Thanksgiving."

"…Thanks – _Thanksgiving?_" He sat upright, causing Thad to look over curiously. He mouthed 'who's that?' but Kurt ignored him and stared blankly at the wall in front of him. "Thanksgiving's _tomorrow_…"

"…Yes. Yes, I know. I'm sorry it's very short notice, but we've called the school and arranged for you to be picked up in two hours in you were interested…" Kurt said nothing in response. Was this how he was now? One of those kids who were practically strangers with their parents? Whose parents treated them like some kind of business partner…? "Kurt. I'm so sorry that we've been so distant. Your dad misses you so much…"

"He hasn't even talked to me," Kurt choked out, trying to refrain from crying.

"He was just so confused about how to act around you, dear. He's been beating himself up for a while now, feeling so bad about what he did to your relationship… Please come with us tomorrow, Kurt. It wouldn't be family if you weren't there… We all want to see you so much…"

Kurt squeezed his eyes shut, finally letting tears fall. "Yeah. O-okay… But you better let me cook, because I've seen you both in the kitchen. I can't fathom what has become of that household's meals."

"Yeah, you hold onto it. I'll probably lose it," Jeff smiled, raising an eyebrow at the stack of papers Kurt held in his hand. Kurt chuckled in reply, knowing how flaky the blonde could be. He walked Jeff to the door and gave a small, half-hearted wave and was about to turn back into his room when he heard a distinct, loud cough coming from down the hall. He glanced down briefly, finding the door he had suspected was ajar, leading him to think the worse.

He fled his room instantly and reached the open door in a matter of seconds. But to Kurt's surprise, Blaine was simply sitting up in his bed, his roommate gone, a cellphone in his hands as he coughed. At Kurt's entrance, the curly-haired boy glanced up.

"Oh, um… Hi, Kurt," the boy smiled, his pierced eyebrow cocked, slight amusement in his eyes as he took in Kurt's concerned expression.

"Oh… I – sorry. I just heard you coughing… I thought you were, like, throwing up, or something." Blaine's eyebrows both shot up at this and he gave the boy a curious look. "I… I was just worried."

Blaine placed his phone in his lap and nodded, looking thoughtful as his lips came together into a tight line. "I, um… So, Jeremiah's coming back next week…" He said, holding up the phone as though in proof.

"'Jeremiah'…?"

Blaine nodded and sat up straighter, his face looking contemplative. "Yeah. My dealer… He… He's been out of town for a few weeks."

Kurt frowned slightly, then nodded understandingly. "So that's why you haven't had any…drugs…for a while…"

Blaine just blinked in response, his face expressionless as he stared into Kurt's deep eyes. "I'm not gonna call him… I'm not gonna have him come visit me…"

Kurt blinked a few times in surprise, his mouth falling open slightly in shock. "…Oh?" Kurt made his way over the Blaine's bed and the boy made room for him to sit down beside him.

"Kurt… Jeremiah being gone wasn't the only reason I put up with going through withdrawal… I still mean what I said about quitting for good…" Kurt didn't say anything in response, just continued staring at the boy in front of him, whose expression shifted into one of slight pain and guilt. "And Kurt, I'm _so_ sorry I fucked up so bad… I know you said you understand, and you said these past few weeks that you wanted me to get through this before we could _be_ anything, but I want you to know that this was _all for you_ and that you mean _so much _to me and – _mph_!"

It was so unlike any of their other kisses. It was slow, and chaste at first, and sweet. It wasn't rushed or caused by hormones. It wasn't lust-driven or alcohol-induced. It was gentle. And it was perfect. Kurt brought his hand up to cup Blaine's cheek, and deepened the kiss slightly, as Blaine placed one hand on the pale boy's waist, pulling him a tad closer.

Kurt pulled away, his eyes instantly opening to meet a pair of wide, hazel ones. Kurt's lips tugged up slightly at Blaine's stunned appearance, his eyebrows practically at his hairline and his mouth still parted slightly, searching the young boy's glasz eyes for some sign that the kiss was a joke, or didn't actually happen. Kurt leaned forward once more, pecking him lightly on the lips and standing up from the bed, leaving Blaine breathless and speechless.

"I just found out I'm going to spend the holiday weekend with my family... My stepbrother is coming to pick me up in an hour and…I really should start packing. I'll see you on Sunday evening…" Kurt stood in the doorway, about to leave when he turned back around, a smile gracing his lips. "Happy Thanksgiving, Blaine."

* * *

><p><strong>AN Ta da? Hope it wasn't TOO angsty... Next chapter will have some of Kurt's family at Thanksgiving!  
>It will also be a little bit not-as-horribly-depressing!<br>Oh! Oh! Also, songs were: The Drugs Don't Work-The Verve & All I Ask of You-Phantom of the Opera **


	8. Everything

**A/N :(((( I don't even know how to apologize for how late I am about updating this. WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. I promise there was a good reason, nuff said.  
>I had a LOT going on T_T<br>****Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"<em>What<em>?"

Finn shot a nervous glance over at the boy in the passenger seat, giving him a confused look before turning his attention back to the road. "…What?" Kurt just huffed and closed his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief. "I thought you'd be happy… _Dude_, you haven't seen them in _forever._ They're, like, your _friends_…"

Kurt blinked his eyes open. _They __were__ my friends…_"I just…wish you'd _asked_ me about it, first, Finn…"

"…Do you… Do you want me to tell them not to come? I think they were just gonna come by on Saturday, or something. I can tell them we're doing family stuff. Or I can tell them you don't want to see them."

Kurt sighed and held his face in his hands. "That would – no. No, don't do that. No, that would be…weird... Weirder than _seeing_ them… Just… Ugh," he grumbled, shaking his head. "It's just gonna be so odd… None of them have said a word to me since it happened…" Kurt turned to face his stepbrother, a hesitant look on his face. "And…does everyone know about the…rape…now?"

Finn's eyebrows shot up and he let out a breath of air. "Oh, _man_. That was – yeah. That spread around the school so fast after your trial, it was nuts. The girls all totally _freaked_ out."

Kurt hung his head, in both shame and guilt, trying not to picture the look on Tina and Mercedes' faces when they found out they had left him alone to be raped… He wished he could have been there when they found out… He wished he had the courage to tell them himself. And tell them it wasn't their fault they left him. That no one could have known what was going to happen that night.

Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but the sights he was seeing through the car window caught his attention. He cocked an eyebrow. "Finn… Where are you _going_?" Kurt looked at the strange neighborhood, wondering if this was some kind of weird surprise thing, or if Finn was genuinely lost. He also wondered if his dear stepbrother knew that he wasn't legally allowed to be outside the perimeter of his house, that if he was caught he could be in huge trouble.

Finn raised an eyebrow questioningly, chancing a quick look at Kurt that suggested he thought the small boy was insane. "Um… The _hou_-?" Finn cut himself off and came to a sudden stop. _Shit. Shitshitshit._ When Kurt gave him an expectant look, Finn just smiled his awkward half-smile and eased the car back into movement. "Um… _Kurt_," he began carefully, not making eye contact with his stepbrother, "remember when Burt said he was looking for a new house – one with a bunch of rooms, and stuff, for everyone – right before the wedding?" Kurt nodded, still not following, and still eyeing the surroundings as they continued moving through the neighborhood. "_Well_… He found one."

Kurt's eyes widened when the information sunk in. He snapped his head to face the taller boy so fast, Finn, seeing it in his peripheral vision, was sure it hurt. "_WHAT?_" Finn winced at the pale boy's shrieking voice.

"Well… I guess they had already put a down payment, or something, on one… And after the whole Karofsky thing, they thought it would be good to, like, _start fresh_, or something… That's what Burt said, anyway…"

Kurt remained quiet, silently fuming, breathing shaky and erratic. His eye twitched and the words he spoke next were low and quiet. "He sold…our house?" He let out a small bitter laugh, which worried Finn more than if he had started crying. "He _sold_ the _home _THAT I LIVED IN WITH MY _MOTHER_ WITHOUT ME EVEN BEING THERE!"

Finn clamped his eyes shut for a quick second, feeling horrible that he hadn't remembered to bring it up sooner. He opened them and gave his stepbrother a small, apologetic glance. "We – we kept the dresser! The broken one, that smells like your mom!"

Kurt's livid expression softened immediately, and he looked down into his lap. A good 30 seconds passed before he said anything. "…You… You did?"

Finn nodded frantically. "Yeah. Our parents tried to throw it out, but I told them you would want it." Kurt just nodded his head slowly in response, his eyes still cast downwards. Finn pulled up into the driveway of a house and came to a slow stop, eyeing Kurt before cutting the engine. "So… Um, we're…here."

* * *

><p>"No… I know it's here somewhere... I know I have it." Blaine bit his lower lip in concentration as he dug around in his mess of a closet. Thinking he was victorious, he yanked a DVD case from under a dangerously unstable stack of shoeboxes, inspecting it for half a second before tossing it aside.<p>

"Hey B… I have Mulan, we can just watch that instead-"

"Oh my _God_! David! Okay, okay. _First_ of all, _Mulan_ takes place in, like, fucking Japan-"

"China."

"…Right, okay, _China._ Do you _know_ what they do in _China_ for Thanksgiving…?"

David raised an eyebrow at his curly-haired friend. "Um… No?"

"_Nothing_! They don't do _anything_ in China…for Thanksgiving…because…it's NOT IN FUCKING AMERICA." David's lips twitched up at Blaine's passionate outburst, and nodded.

"You _do _know that Peter Pan is in-?"

"_Secondly_, we watch Peter Pan on Thanksgiving because it's a _tradition._ And that means we have to do it every year," he finished matter-of-factly, nodding at his own statement.

David crossed his arms over his chest, trying to control his smile by biting his lower lip. He watched as Blaine lunged back into his closet, the stacks and piles of various items still, somehow, managing to not fall over. The dark-skinned boy took a careful seat on the edge of Blaine's bed, still watching in amusement and fascination at the curly-haired boy in front of him, attacking his closet like a carnivorous animal attacking its prey.

"…So, B. You know Peter Pan is set in England, right?"

The boy in the closet froze, his actions ceasing. He stood, completely still for a moment before continuing his search. "What?" His voice was quiet and attempting to be casual, as though he had actually not heard what David said. The dark-skinned boy broke out into a huge grin at the humor of the situation. When he didn't reply, Blaine whipped his head around to face him. "No, no it's not."

David cocked an eyebrow. "Blaine. They have _British_ accents-"

"Not Peter. He doesn't."

"-and they fly over _London_ at the beginning."

Blaine's face fell, and he sank down to the ground, seemingly realizing this all for the first time. His eyes scanned the room, as if looking for something that would make sense of this situation. "But… What about all the Native Americans? I mean _Americans_, right? Those weren't in fucking England. That's why I always used to watch it on Thanksgiving when I was a kid. It was the only Disney movie that seemed somewhat related to the holiday…"

"…Except for the fact that they're in England."

"Fuck you," Blaine mumbled and stuck out his lower lip in a pout, turning back to face the closet. He resumed his digging around and finally snatched something and held it into the air triumphantly. "HA! I found it! And we're still watching it. I don't care if they're not in America."

* * *

><p>"Christ, Wes. You take such fucking long showers. What do you do? Fucking masturbate in there?"<p>

The Asian boy narrowed his eyes at his roommate as he opened the bathroom door, running his towel over his legs.

"Why do people _always_ say that? I mean, really. I don't jack-off in there. I don't take naps. I'm just _washing _myself. How am I supposed to make it shorter? Really. Neglect washing my _cock,_ or my _hair_? Which one of those can I really go without doing…?" David stared at his roommate with a raised eyebrow, his mouth frozen in an amused smirk. "Never mind, don't answer that. I know which one is more important. But really, if I have enough time, I'm going to do both. And _excuse me_ if I take longer than you do."

"Whatever you say, Wesley."

"…Won't Justin be pissed when he finds out you took his laptop, B?"

Blaine and the other boys looked over to Wes, who was now standing in the doorway of the bathroom, rubbing a towel over his wet hair and watching Thad set the movie up in the computer, sitting on his bed next to David and Trent. Blaine cocked his pierced eyebrow and smirked slightly at the boy from his place on David's bed.

"Why would I _tell_ him…?" Wes just shrugged in response and made his way over to his dresser to pull out some sweatpants, clad in only his boxers. "And besides, we used to have _your_ laptop to watch shit on, but you had to go all psycho-Asian on us that one time, and flip a shit and throw it into the wall." Wes turned around and opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't think of a good reply. Finally, he mock-glared at the curly-haired boy who was still staring at him expectantly.

"…Fuck, Blaine. I know I'm a hot piece of ass, and these boxers leave little to your gay imagination, but your ogling and drooling is making me self-conscious," he spoke in fake, dramatic annoyance, taking one hand and placing it behind him in order to attempt to cover up his ass. Blaine rolled his eyes and scoffed, laying down on David's bed and grinning in amusement, his forearm coming up to cover his eyes, his body shaking slightly with silent laughter.

"Yeah, Wesley. B doesn't need your scrawny, Asian ass. He has his sweet, rosy-cheeked, little boyfriend to pound senseless," David teased vulgarly, smirking when he saw Blaine turn his face away slightly to hide the color rising in his cheeks and neck. The curly-haired boy cleared his throat and sat upright, turning to the others.

"I'm not… I mean, we're not _doing_…that. Just so you know," he mumbled, embarrassed. He ran a hand over the back of his neck and looked up to see David still smiling at him. Trent looked at this interaction and barked out a laugh.

"Bro, come on. You can't say you and Hummel haven't been, like, _whatever_, ever since you stopped using. He was babying you the whole time you were sick, and you've been attached at the hip lately. You gotta be fucking."

"No. No, we're really not … Like, we've been getting close and everything, but not…_fucking_ close."

Wes yanked a sweatshirt over his head and considered this. He ran his eyes over Blaine's face, searching for some sign that the information was a lie. He hummed in surprise, seemingly finding the boy's face was truthful. "Well… Why not, then?" Everyone turned to face Blaine with looks of expectance, as though saying, '_yeah, _why _not_?'

Blaine blinked a few times, thoughtful, and looked down at his hands in his lap. "Well… You guys know I'm trying to do this right with Kurt. I want to actually have something with him," he spoke slowly, as though trying to run through his logic out loud. "So… I wanted to let _him_ start this. He wanted me to wait out my detox before we…did anything, I guess. And so I've been clean for, like, three weeks…" Blaine let a goofy, crooked smile play at his lips and he looked up to face his friends. "He kissed me today before he left."

"_Ohmygod_! He _kissed_ you? On the _lips_? You should go write about it in your diary!" Blaine glared at the Wes, who only smiled in return, his eyebrow raised as though daring him to deny the pettiness of his and Kurt's interaction. The entire group had seen them do some more than kiss on Halloween, after all. The curly-haired boy flipped his middle finger at the boy and was about to make a snide remark when Thad cut in.

"Fuck off, Wes. So, B. That's good, right? That he kissed you…? That's moving forward?" Everyone stared at the dark-haired boy and his obvious effort to indulge in the details of Blaine's love life. Usually, this kind of conversation ended at 'you getting any?' On top of that, out of all of Blaine's friends, Thad tended to pay particularly the least interest in such topics.

Blaine blinked slowly, mouth open slightly in surprise. "I – yeah… I mean, that's how it's supposed to go, right? First you kiss and everything, and then you progress into stuff…? I want to actually do this as a _relationship…_" Everyone nodded, seeming to be satisfied with his explanation and knowing enough to please their slight curiosity on the status of the two boys. They _were_ their friends, after all. Gay or not, badass or not, they still – secretly, maybe – liked to hear the small gossip.

"Awww _fuck _yeah! Thanksgiving-Peter-Pan-Cuddle-Party?"

The boys all whipped their heads up to see Nick standing in the doorway, looking so ecstatic at the Peter Pan DVD case on the bed that he might wet himself, and groaned at his choice of words. Wes gestured for him to come in and he did, closing the door behind himself.

"This is _awesome_! I didn't know we did this every year!" Blaine stood up and forced the over-excited boy to sit down, proving a difficult task as he was hardly able to contain his eagerness.

David sighed with a smile, taking in Nick's enthusiastic demeanor. "We don't do this every year. Blaine does it every year. He made us do it last year, then deemed it a tradition."

"It _is_ a tradition!"

Wes smirked, watching the entertaining antics of his friends. "Now, now, children. Shall we push the beds together, then?"

The boys all stood and began sliding Wes's bed the short distance to meet David's, after clearing out the bedside tables. Nick jumped in the middle of the newly formed bed and the others soon joined, all snuggling together in the cold air and getting beneath the blankets.

"Cozy," Trent mumbled with an awkward smile, amused at the entire situation, as usual.

Nick sighed contently and made grabby-hands for the laptop, which Wes soon handed to him, still giving him a slightly suspicious look for his excitement. Nick placed it on his lap and the boys all crowded around as the menu began loading. "It's been _way_ too long since we've had a cuddle party. Why don't we do this all the time?"

"Well, _Nick_… Maybe because you and Jeff insist on calling them _cuddle parties._ And that one time, you decided to announce to the entire cafeteria that we were having a _cuddle party,_ and then we all got the shit kicked out of us for a week," David reminded him with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, it _is_ kinda gay when we do this," Trent added, getting a death stare from Blaine after he did so. "No offense, bro. But, like, literally. We're a bunch of guys all lying together in a bed. It's _really_ gay…"

"You're not complaining," Blaine observed with a cocked eyebrow.

"No. But I'm just saying, one of these days someone who matters is gonna walk in on one of our bromantic movie nights, and shit's gonna hit the fan. They're gonna think we're all _gay_," Trent blurted out, putting special emphasis on the last word, as though trying to make his point clear to the curly-haired boy. Blaine just scoffed, folding his arms across his chest.

"Because someone thinking you're gay is, like, the worst possible thing," Blaine huffed crossly, blinking at the bigger teen. Trent's mouth fell open slightly at the other boy's sudden argumentative tone.

"Bro, you know I didn't mean it like-"

"_Bro_," he spoke in a lower tone, mocking Trent's voice, "how 'bout we all shut up and watch the damn Disney movie?" Everyone stared at Blaine for a brief moment before collectively nodding, hoping to not anger him. They resumed their close positions on the bed and Nick started the DVD, everyone intently watching as the opening rating started. As the starting scene began, Blaine spoke again, "And this isn't gay," he mumbled quickly, in a hushed tone, "The only time I can ever pretend I'm still a little kid and not a huge fucked-up criminal is when we're having cuddle parties…"

_"Blast you, Peter Pan!"  
>"Take that! Give up, Captain Hook? You give up?"<br>"Never! I'll teach you to cut off me hand!"_

"…_You_ called them cuddle parties."

"Shut up, Nick."

* * *

><p>"Oh, Sweetheart!" Carole engulfed the small boy in a warm hug, the kind Kurt had missed so much. He was disappointed when this one felt somehow different, as though she didn't <em>really<em> want to hold him too tightly. They pulled away from each other and his stepmother looked worriedly over his body. "Kurt, you feel so skinny! Are you not eating enough?"

Kurt wouldn't have answered that question even if he _wasn't_ staring over the woman's shoulder, gazing blankly at the man who had dropped out of his life completely in the past five or so months. Carole seemed to follow his gaze and dropped her arms from the small boy, as Burt stepped forward slowly, cautiously approaching his son.

"D-Dad," he breathed shakily, suddenly unsure of how to act. There was a sickening moment when he almost considered calling the man _sir._ His father opened his mouth, but closed it again, looking lost for words. A flash of pain and guilt ran through the man's face, then was replaced with one of utter confusion and remorse. Kurt remembered seeing the same look on his father's face three other times.

The first was when Kurt was eight, and the machines in his mother's hospital room began signaling failure, and her heart monitor beeping fell to a deafening solid noise. Before he was torn out of the room, he shot a frantic glance to his father, and the same look had fallen over his gruff features.

When Kurt came limping through his front door in early March, his face and body bruised and swollen, his body trembling, from the cold as well as pain, and the backside of his pants stained with dried blood, Kurt looked to his father, who was awake waiting for his son's past-curfew arrival. As he fell to his knees and vomited onto the floor, he caught a quick glance of his dad's expression, mirroring what he saw this day.

Kurt had just finished a meeting with his lawyer, being informed that it was in his best interest to go through with the trial, because the settlement they offered him was terrible, and she assured Kurt that they had supporting evidence in his favor. His father came by for a visit, the kind where you had to speak on a telephone, and see each other through a glass window. He informed his son that they didn't have enough to pay his bail, and that he would have to stay in custody until his trial. Before departing, he shot one last look at his son.

Seeing his father's pained, confused, sorry, face, Kurt pushed aside his conflicted feelings and found himself lunging into the man's arms, his face scrunching up in pain as he buried it into his shoulder. He could feel it in the back of his throat as it tightened, and in his face as it rushed with heat, and before he knew it, a sob broke free, one he wasn't expecting. His body shook as he began crying silently, balling up his dad's shirt in his fists and pressing his face further into him.

Burt stood, speechless, as Kurt flew at him, and as the young boy began crying violently, he placed a tentative hand around the small boy's back. _Jeez, Carole's right. This kid is skin and bones..._ He was never good with the emotional stuff, the affectionate stuff, and after everything that had happened between the two of them, or _not_ happened, rather, in the past handful of months, he had no idea what to do.

"Come on, boys. Let's all take a breath and calm down in the living room," Carole suggested gently, placing a guiding hand on Kurt's back, noticing again how she could feel the bones of his shoulders so easily. "Honey, I'm sure you'd like to sit down."

Kurt looked around the unfamiliar household and followed Carole to know where to go, something he never thought he'd have to do in his own _home_. They came to the living room and Kurt immediately noticed the old recliner armchair, the one that used to belong to Finn's father, and the couch set from their old house, but other than that, the room seemed to be filled with mostly new furniture.

"Do you want something to drink, Kurt…? Or maybe something to eat…? Are you hungry?" Carole questioned him with concern etched on her face, but the pale boy just shook his head slowly, bringing his hands up to wipe the remaining tears from his face, his eyes swollen and red, as he sat down hesitantly on the couch. "Well, alright. I know it's late, but we'll have dinner soon, anyway. We wanted to wait for you to get here… So, Finn and I will be in the kitchen."

Kurt chanced a short glance at his father, who had slumped down into the armchair and was staring off into space. The young boy suddenly felt embarrassed about how he had greeted his dad, how he had broken down within such a short time of seeing him again. There was such a wall between the two, even when they had hugged, he felt like he had no idea who the man was.

"I'm sorry, Dad," he whispered uncertainly, eyes locked on his interlaced fingers in his lap. He heard his dad sigh tiredly and in the corner of his vision, he saw him slip off his baseball cap.

"Look Kurt," he began, his voice rough and strained-sounding, "you have nothing you need to be sorry for. I can't believe after…well, everything, I did what I did." Kurt just continued to keep his gaze down, but listening intently. He knew somewhere, deep in his heart, that he'd be hearing these words from his father, but why did it not make anything better…? "And son… After everything that went down, well, you know. In March, with those guys that attacked you," he didn't miss the way his son stiffened noticeably and how his jaw tensed, "I promised myself I'd never let anyone hurt you like that again."

At this, Kurt looked up to meet his dad's face, seeing the pain and guilt that was there. "It wasn't…your _fault_, Dad…"

But his father just held up a hand to silence him from continuing. "No – now, Kurt, you listen to me. I'm your father. I'm supposed to protect you, and make sure nothing like what those men did to you happens… But I didn't, I _couldn't_. I can't always be there, you know that… But then…when everything with – with that Karofsky kid went down… Well, Kurt, I couldn't handle it…"

Kurt only nodded in response, new tears pooling in his eyes and blurring his vision. "I know… I'm sorry I m-messed up so bad," his voice shook as he spoke. "I must be s-such a disappointment to you, Dad," he breathed out brokenly, his words uneven.

"Kurt, listen. I'm not…disappointed in you. I know what I said before, but… But I realize now that you weren't…in your right mind when it happened… And I couldn't handle seeing you, knowing that _you_ ruined your life because _I_ didn't protect you again."

Kurt ceased his hiccupping breaths and blinked a few tears back, a puzzled look falling over his delicate features. "What…?"

"That kid… He was _molesting _you, Kurt," the young boy squeezed his eyes shut at his dad's blunt words. "He _was_… And I could hardly live with myself knowing you were put through something like that again... I'm sorry I couldn't be around you because of that… But, I can't stand having you out of my life this much."

Kurt felt like his insides were twisting around. His dad had avoided seeing him because he felt _guilty_? He completely cut off contact with him, his _only son_, because he _felt bad_?

_Oh,_ Kurt thought, narrowing his eyes at his father, _you think you can waltz back into my life because you feel like it?_

"Boys! Dinner is ready," Carole stepped into the entryway where the kitchen met the living room and beckoned the two in, but Kurt just sighed dramatically and stood, walking past his father and followed his stepmother into the dining area.

_I'll let you back into my life when I'm damn ready. You don't have a freaking say in this, anymore._

* * *

><p>"Dude!"<p>

Kurt shot up into a sitting position, his eyes flinging open, still mostly fuzzy from sleep, but slowly taking in his surroundings. He saw Finn standing in his doorway, a look of confusion-mixed-with-annoyance on his face, eyes raking over Kurt in bed.

"What? What do you want, Finn? I was sleeping," Kurt tried to come off upset, but he ended up just sounding like a sleepy four year old.

"…Uh, we could hear you from downstairs… I didn't know you were asleep," he mumbled awkwardly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. He made to start backing out of the room when Kurt got his attention.

"Oh God, Finn. I'm sorry… I know you haven't been around me lately, but I sort of scream in my sleep sometimes, and I know it's _really_ annoying, my roommate _hates_ it and he usually just yells at me and-"

"Whoa, Kurt. You weren't…screaming. You were, like, singing."

Kurt's eyes widened to an impossible size. "I – what?" _It's been so long since I've woken up singing… _

"Yeah, you were singing that song from that one movie you made us all watch. The song that's like _na, na, na, starshine, the earth says hello_," Kurt just raised an eyebrow and continued gazing blankly at his stepbrother, who started to look uncomfortable. "…Yeah, and you were singing good, so I thought you were awake. But you should get up, anyway. It's, like, 11, and I know you want to do all the cooking for tonight."

Kurt immediately sprung up to his feet. "It's 11? Oh! Okay, well, that's fine. I have time, I have time. Finn," he addressed the other boy as he began preparing clothes for after his shower, "I need you to go to the store and buy me a pumpkin – a big one."

The tall boy nodded frantically, but looked confused. "A-a _pumpkin_…?"

Kurt ceased his hasty digging through the still-unpacked boxes that littered his room, and turned slowly to face Finn, his eyebrow raised and his face condescending. "…Pumpkin _pie_? I remember you saying once that you'd never had it homemade." Finn continued his blank stare at the younger boy, his heart aching that after everything Kurt went through, and everything going on in his life, he still remembered what he had said, probably seven or eight months ago. Not to mention, he was actually going through with it. Kurt confused the look on Finn's face for him still not understanding. He made a small gesture with his hand. "Homemade pumpkin pies tend to involve pumpkins, Finn."

The other boy snapped out of his haze and nodded, "R-right," and left the room, closing the door behind himself.

As soon as Finn was out of the room, Kurt sighed, coming down from the slight adrenalin rush and panic. He scanned the room he was in, _his_ room, supposedly. He wasn't sure why he had a room, anymore. He would be boarding at Dalton until he graduated, and if he ever did come back to visit, it wasn't as though he needed a room to be designated to him specifically. A guest room would suffice.

_I'm practically just a guest here, anyway…_

There were unpacked boxes all around, taped closed, only two of them open. He figured they had just opened them a day or two previous, to get his bedding, because his sheets and comforter still had creases in them. The other open box contained clothes, mostly summer wear, probably opened when Finn brought his things to Dalton, because he could see a few things had been shifted and removed since it was first packed.

Kurt searched his surroundings and his eyes fell upon a box labeled 'Kurt – misc.' Curious, he knelt down beside it and tore away the clear tape, then proceeded to unfold the cardboard flaps.

There were some assorted knickknacks from his old room, the jar he used to hold pens, a couple old notebooks he had, a few candles, and…

Kurt flinched back from the picture frame, merely out of surprise. After fully comprehending what it was, he returned his hand into the box and removed it gently, as though it were made of something fragile and breakable. He brought it close to his face and ran his eyes over the picture, again and again, soaking in every small detail he had missed, every tiny fraction of photo that his mind may have forgotten over the last five months.

His mother was beautiful. She always was. Even when she lost 25 pounds, and the radiation made her skin burn, she was still the most beautiful woman Kurt had ever seen. The picture was nothing special, nothing like his favorite portrait he had tucked away in his drawer at Dalton, no. This was simply a close-up of his stunning mother, her eyes shining like they always did, and infant Kurt was in the frame, hardly, just his face, smiling goofily at the gorgeous woman.

Kurt quickly took the framed photo and placed it into the duffel he brought with him from school carefully, giving it one last longing look before making his way to the shower.

* * *

><p>"Flour, flour, flour," Kurt mumbled to himself absently as he rifled through the various cabinets in the kitchen. He turned to the entryway that led to the living room, where his parents were currently watching the Macy's Day parade. "Carole? Where's the flour…? I need to start the gravy," he explained loudly as he peeled potatoes, plopping them into a pot of water. The woman soon appeared in the kitchen, a gentle smile on her face, and Kurt stopped his actions and turned to her, a teasing smirk gracing his lips. "And <em>where<em> is your son with my pumpkin?"

Carole looked surprised. "I – Pumpkin? I thought you sent him to get that almost two hours ago?" She began digging through a low cabinet.

Kurt giggled, and drew a hand across his face, a mix of amusement and exhaustion settling onto his face. "Yes, I did. I sent him to get a pumpkin and cinnamon. He came back with the cinnamon, saying he had trouble finding it, and forgot the pumpkin. Then I asked him to pick up vinegar, cranberries – ingredients for chutney, because I thought having some of that would be nice, too – and I _made sure_ to include the pumpkin on that list. Comes back again, _no_ pumpkin…" He shared a laugh with his stepmother as she handed him the freshly-opened bag of flour. "Sometimes…I wonder about that boy," he shook his head with a giggle.

Just a few minutes later, Finn sprung into the kitchen, a relieved, excited look on his face. "Kurt! I got the-"

Kurt turned from where he was going to put away the flour, and smacked right into the taller boy, causing the item he was holding – the pumpkin! Finally! – to fall from his hands, and with a loud _thump/splat!_ it hit the ground, cracking down the side and shooting seeds across the kitchen floor. Finn looked horrified, and he held his hands out, palms open, like he was trying to show anyone concerned that they were empty, that he wasn't involved in the situation at all. Kurt jumped back from the broken squash, but a smile tugged at his lips. He stifled a silent giggle and placed the bag of flour into one hand.

"Oh shit, Kurt! I'm so sorry, I-"

"It's _fine_, Finn. I'm going to chop it up and cook it, anyway, I'll just-"

Kurt reached down to recover the messy pumpkin at the same time as the taller boy did, resulting in them cracking their skulls against each other. Both boys let out surprised groans of pain and rubbed their foreheads. Hearing this, Carole came rushing into the kitchen, concerned for her two sons.

"Boys, are you – _oh_!" The woman slipped on the pumpkin seeds scattered across the floor, and fell backwards onto her bottom with a little noise of surprise.

"Mom!" Finn shrieked unnecessarily loud, causing Kurt to gasp and flinch, the bag of flour in his grasp being the victim of his arm's tensing reflex. Flour shot out of the bag in a white cloud, coating both Kurt and Finn, who was frozen in mid-reach, trying to help his mother, from head to chest.

Everyone stood in silence for a moment.

Finn opened his eyes, having closed them when the bag of flour exploded, to see Kurt's face scrunched up in what appeared to be disgust and shock. His mouth was puckered and tight, almost as though he were sucking on a lemon, and his eyes were closed in a way that wasn't dissimilar to someone clamping their eyes shut when watching an especially gory movie. The young boy peeled his eyes open, and gave Finn a look of disbelief and horror, before breaking into a wide grin, teeth-showing and all, and began laughing hysterically.

Finn, having been scared that Kurt would completely flip because his perfect hair and skin were covered in flour, joined in on the laughter after seeing he was okay. Finn glanced to his mother, who was still on her backside, on the ground, giving the boys amused looks of confusion. As soon as they began laughing, she broke out into her own fit of giggles, and the entire kitchen was a mess of cooking supplies and lost sanities.

Kurt's smile faltered when he noticed his father in the entryway of the kitchen, an amused, albeit awkward smile playing at his lips. Like someone who missed the joke, but wanted to laugh anyway, or like someone who skipped out on their son and ruined their relationship, but wanted to right it again.

* * *

><p>"This…blows…so, <em>so<em>, hard," David announced dramatically, letting his head fall onto the table in front of him. The boys who encircled him exchanged a few glances, then continued eating. His head shot back up and he pointed a glare at the tray in front of him. "Don't they at least have the decency to feed us turkey on Thanksgiving? Seriously! I was _this_ close to being invited to go to my brother's this year."

Thad shot a quick glance up to the dark-skinned boy and then focused his attention back to his food. "I thought Trevor's girlfriend hates you," he mumbled, pushing food around on his plate.

"She does," he retorted flatly, raising an eyebrow and picking his fork back up, only to stab at the food absentmindedly. "Thus me, sitting in a school cafeteria, on Thanksgiving, eating lasagna. Again… I mean, _really_," he started again, causing the other boys to groan playfully, "I think they serve non-Thanksgiving food on purpose. Just because they hate us. Remember last year? They made Asian noodles."

"I bet that's what Mulan eats on Thanksgiving," Blaine quipped, smirking to himself as he kept his eyes down on his plate. David looked at the curly-haired boy with a deadpan expression.

"Ha. That's hilarious… And I'm sure Peter and Wendy are eating fish n' chips. Because they're in England. And not America."

Blaine raised his eyes to meet David's and shook his head in mock-threat. He opened his mouth, about to make a cheeky remark, when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Confused, he dug his hand around, trying to locate the device, wondering who would text him during a family holiday.

_im back in westerville early. u want me 2 come by on sat? – J _

Of course. Jeremiah had no family to spend Thanksgiving with. Naturally, he would choose this time to run through his clients, now that he was back in town. Blaine ghosted his fingers over the buttons of his phone, eyes flicking back between the 'n' and the 'y' keys. Why was this so difficult? Hadn't he been completely satisfied with quitting, especially now that he had Kurt…?

_Kurt_, Blaine reflected dreamily, thinking back to the slight boy with perfect, pale skin. There was no way he was going to give up that for a stupid drug. That drug… He suddenly snapped the slider keyboard of his phone shut and placed it on the table, staring at it like it would burn if he dared to touch it.

The pain and vomiting and sickness had been bad enough during his withdrawal…but the worst part of it was the fact that he had to look at himself in the mirror, everyday, without anything clouding his mind or easing the reality of it. How easy it would be to have Jeremiah swing over and drop off his precious narcotics, after a quick fuck, with a new set of supplies, of course, because his had been confiscated…

But…Kurt. The boy that drew him back into an odd feeling, a warm, safe feeling he'd never felt before. Something chemical, maybe, or perhaps something having to do with fate, something that drew him into the beautiful singer, and he couldn't give all of that up, because if he did, Kurt would leave him…right…?

_cant wait 2 see u – B_

He pocketed his phone and turned his attention back to his friends, who were discussing something having to do with a new pop artist, something about her being hot and having nice tits. Blaine mused momentarily on what the appeal of breasts were before shaking his head and coming back to his important thoughts.

He had definitely made the right decision.

* * *

><p>"<em>Na, na, na, starshine<em>-"

"_Good morning_, Finn."

"Huh?" Finn turned around to where Kurt was washing the dishes and gave him an incredulous look. "It's _nighttime_…" Kurt chuckled lightly in response, shaking his head while drying a large serving plate.

"No, Finn. _Good morning starshine_," he sang the words, flipping around and leaning against the sink counter to face his stepbrother. "It's the lyrics. _Good morning._"

Finn opened his mouth slightly as the realization dawned on him. "Oh, oh, right… So," he began, his voice taking a different tone. Kurt turned back around to face the sink, and Finn came up beside him and glanced at him sideways. "How was…? I mean, with your dad and everything… During dinner…?" Kurt appreciated his stepbrother's obvious attempts at consoling him, it was clear that he wasn't good at those kinds of things, after all.

Kurt kept his eyes downcast, concentrating deeply on a small caked on piece of food that was being stubborn. He nodded his head very slowly, licking his lips slightly. The pale boy then sighed and put the dish back down into the water and faced Finn. "He supposedly made a big fuss to have me here, and then he doesn't talk to me all dinner," he spoke with a humorless laugh to his voice. The false smile fell off his face and he turned back to concentrate on the dishes, his eyebrows knotting together. "I just thought that he was sorry. I can't believe he's doing this to me…"

"Dude, you _were_ kinda scary to him," Finn said carefully, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the counter. Kurt froze immediately, blinking a few times, and turned to face the taller boy.

"I was scary to…?" He trailed off and his face scrunched up in anger. "Finn, he ignored me for five months, and then tells me it's because he _felt guilty_… I – he – he can't do that! He can't run out on me when I have _no one else_ and expect me to say '_oh it's okay, Dad. As long as your fucking CONSCIOUS WAS AT EASE WHEN YOU PRETENDED I DIDN'T EXIST!' _Oh yeah, just abandon me for your own selfish reasons, Dad! And you're _sorry_? Oh, well, _shit_! That just makes _everything_ better! Oh – oh and you're _not_ disappointed in me anymore? Oh, thank the fucking _Lord_! My daddy approves of what I did! _Now_ my life is complete! I can die happily now!"

Kurt threw his head back and his hands flew up to cover his face. He let out a frustrated groan and slumped against the counter, sliding down to the floor. Finn just stood, frozen, staring at his stepbrother like he was afraid to breathe.

"Is that really how you feel, son?" Finn whipped around and Kurt dropped his hands from his face to see his father standing in the entryway, a torn expression falling over his features.

Kurt couldn't exactly say why, but the anger that had possessed him a second ago dissolved. He wasn't sorry, he wasn't sad, or happy now that the anger was gone, he wasn't anything. The fuming spite that he felt toward his dad was gone and it left absolutely nothing in its tracks. He felt empty.

"Yes. And don't try to say anything to make up for it… Because that's all it would be, an excuse…" Burt stared at his son, his face falling into a look of pure guilt. "I think for now, Dad, we should keep our distance."

"Kurt-"

"No, Dad, please… We tried yesterday and today to be normal around each other… And it didn't work," he explained simply. "Until you're ready to…be my dad again, I don't think you should try to be anything else."

Burt nodded, not seeming too pleased with the idea. "…Okay… If that's what you want, Kurt, I'll do it. I'll try to do the best I can."

"Good," Kurt breathed haughtily, tipping his chin in the air and coming to his feet again, turning back to face the dishes but not actually moving to pick them up. Finn watched this interaction with wide eyes, wishing he had never sang the wrong lyric when he was helping put the leftovers away. Burt exited the kitchen and Finn heard Kurt let out a tired sigh at the sound of the retreating footsteps.

A twinkling, beep noise sounded from the other side of the kitchen and when Kurt made no move to reach for it, Finn took a few long strides over to the counter to see Kurt's iPhone, the screen lit up.

"Kurt… You got a text," he muttered hesitantly, picking up the phone and waving it in the air slightly, as though showing it as proof. Kurt raised an eyebrow and looked at his stepbrother, tilting his head to the side, silently wondering who would have texted him. Noticing his unspoken question, Finn glanced down to the screen and tapped it, bringing it back to life. "It says… Uh… Who's Blaine…?" Kurt's eyes widened slightly and he strode over to Finn and slipped the phone from his hands, looking down to the message.

_cant wait 2 see u – B_

Kurt let a smile play at his lips, and he could feel the empty, tired mood that had sucked him up beginning to fade. He thought of the curly-haired boy, his smoky taste and hazel eyes, and let out a tiny giggle. Realizing the sound that came from his mouth, he laughed again. _I giggled like an 11 year old girl. I'm not even going to deny it. Blaine does strange things to me…_

"Dude, seriously, who is that? You should see your face right now…"

The last part of the sentence caught Kurt's attention and his face fell, his head snapping up to meet Finn's gaze. "My – what's wrong with my face?" Kurt panicked, running a hand over his cheek. He then narrowed his eyes. "Is there more flour on my face…?"

Finn let out a low chuckle. "No, man. You have your goofy love face on. Trust me, I remember that face…" He trailed off, raising an eyebrow and grimacing. Kurt huffed and turned back to his phone and opened up a blank reply message. "But, really, who is that? Who can't wait to see you…? Is it some guy you met at reaffirm school?"

"_Reform_ school, Finn… And yes."

The tall boy looked shocked that Kurt gave up the information so easily. "Is he…_you know_?"

Kurt glanced up from his phone, "What?"

"Gay."

"Oh," Kurt's face remained perfectly expressionless as he returned his gaze to his phone typed out the last of his message, pocketing it afterward. He then glanced back up to Finn, features still void of emotion. "Yes."

Finn's eyebrows shot up and he made a hum of acknowledgement. Thinking that Kurt's blunt honesty streak might continue, he asked, "Are you boyfriends?"

Kurt laughed. He _actually_ laughed. One reason was because he absolutely adored the term 'boyfriends,' and also because he was caught so off-guard by the question. _Boyfriends… _Were him and Blaine boyfriends? What did you call someone who you made out with three times and helped kick drugs?

"Is that a yes…?" Finn searched Kurt's giggly face with a questioning raised eyebrow, confused at his stepbrother's mood swings.

"Well," Kurt breathed out tiredly, his voice changing in tone. He turned around and stuck his hands on his hips, eyeing the few dishes that remained in the sink. "I'm gonna let these soak overnight. Make sure to put the rest of the casserole in the fridge. Night, Finn," he walked out of the kitchen easily, his strides slow and steady.

Finn followed the boy's path with his eyes until he couldn't see him anymore. Kurt definitely just changed the subject on his ass. This conversation wasn't over.

* * *

><p>Blaine stretched his arms over his head and yawned, then shook his head back and forth rapidly, trying to wake himself up. He took his phone out of his pocket and placed it on the counter of the bathroom, then stripped out of his jeans and underwear, followed by his sweater. He was about to get into the shower when he remembered the text he sent during dinner. He clicked a button and the phone screen lit up, announcing '2 new messages,' the most recent one from an hour ago. Smiling shyly, Blaine opened the first text, his grin threatening to split his face when he read the boy's words.<p>

_Me neither. I miss you. – K_

He opened the second message and he felt his face blush at the text.

_My brother asked if we're boyfriends. – K_

Blaine stared dumbly at the words for what felt like too long. Suddenly realizing how awkward his situation was, standing, staring stupidly at a phone, completely naked, Blaine wrapped a towel around his waist and sat down on the closed toilet seat. He read the message again. _Boyfriends…_ The way Kurt worded it, it seemed so…indifferent. He didn't say he told his brother that they were boyfriends… Or that he told him they _weren't_ boyfriends… What the hell was that message supposed to mean?

_orly now? – B_

He felt stupid for going with the humor route, but he didn't know how else to approach the subject. If he had asked what he told his brother, or what _he_ thought they were, he might come off as too desperate… After all, they had only kissed twice…three times. And boyfriends kiss a lot more than that before they call themselves boyfriends, don't they…? _Buzz!_

_Yep. – K_

Blaine blinked a few times at the screen, then scoffed. _Like hell he's gonna get away with that sort of reply._

_yep? rly kurt? – B _

_Oh, sorry. Too informal? It means yes. Affirmative. That I'm conveying agreement. – K _

Blaine barked out a laugh at this. That boy was so asking for it. _He's lucky he's cute._

_lemme rephrase that. wat did u say 2 ur bro? – B_

_Oh, you should have just asked in the first place. I told him to put the casserole in the fridge. – K _

This had to be some kind of joke… Or something Blaine didn't understand. _Casserole in the fridge? Is that like telling someone to shove it up their ass?_

…_y? – B_

Blaine was waiting for some kind of sarcastic remark, something along the lines of _because it needs to be kept cool,_ or _that's where the casserole is supposed to go, _but instead,

_Because I didn't know what to say. – K _

And then, before Blaine could even reply, he received another message.

_What are we, Blaine? – K _

Blaine sighed at the message, thoroughly confused as to how to respond. He had the exact same question. Before he could back out, he sent a text to the boy.

_y dont u tell me? ur the 1 that kissd me and left… ;) – B _

_:) We can figure it out when I get back on Sunday. Goodnight, Blaine. – K_

_nite kurt – B _

* * *

><p>Kurt was frantically cutting carrots on Saturday afternoon, preparing the soup he was using to make sure all the extra turkey was eaten. He was secretly fuming about not being able to go shopping the day before. Black Friday was something Kurt had passionately participated in since the age of two, the first year he could properly walk. It reminded him of his mother, and he hated to be house-locked during one of the days out of the year that he could connect to her.<p>

_Chop! chop! chop!_

Stupid reform school. Stupid Karofsky and his damn pocketknife. Kurt desperately needed new scarves, his last season's collection was completely the wrong style, and if the catching up he did yesterday on the fall line of Armani and Marc Jacobs, he was in desperate need of some shopping. Even if he wasn't allowed to wear his own clothes on weekdays, Dalton dress code allowed accessories. Accessories that happened to include _scarves._

Kurt went to pick up the cutting board and drop the cut-up carrots into the pot of turkey stock, and his elbow caught on the spice rack and it tumbled over the counter, resulting in just about each and every spice jar to break, ground and powdered contents covering the floor beneath him. He let out a low growl deep in his throat. Somehow, him and Finn being covered in flour seemed much, much funnier than this.

"Kurt! Dude, look-"

Kurt spun around at the sound of his stepbrother's voice, _not_ in the mood for whatever mindless antic he was up to now.

"_WHAT, _FINN?" Knife still in his hand and accidentally pointed threateningly at the tall boy, Kurt froze. The entire New Directions Glee Club was standing in the entryway of his kitchen, shock and horror dominating their features as they took in the scene before them.

Finn jumped back from the other boy. "Shit, Kurt! Don't, like, _stab_ me!" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. Kurt paled, and sucked in a sharp breath, his hand flinching back, the knife in it dropping to the ground like it had stung or burnt him, a resounding clatter echoing throughout the small room as a result. Kurt's face twisted in pain and he looked so small.

Kurt looked over the faces of the people he once felt he knew so well. Brittany seemed genuinely happy to see Kurt, her smile warm and not tainted by the tension or his outburst. Tina had that classic worried, painful expression that she seemed to use so much when she was uncomfortable or heard something shocking. Sam, Puck and Artie all had matching looks of confusion and surprise, and Mike just looked distressed. Quinn and Santana had their eyebrows raised, and, to Kurt's horror, looked sincerely afraid of him. Rachel's mouth hung, agape, her shocked, dramatic face in place. And then there was Mercedes.

Mercedes…

His best friend, or at least someone who used to be his best friend.

She had this haunting look of anger, hurt, confusion and fear. It absolutely broke Kurt's heart. The last time he had seen his best friend, he was walking handcuffed down the hallways of school, bare chest stained with blood. Mercedes, along with the entirety of the student body, had crowded the halls. As he was being led across the school, past the staring eyes and through the whispers, he locked eyes with the diva for a split second, and he hated that the look on her face then mirrored what he saw before him.

Kurt came back into the present moment and his breath hitched in his throat as the silence lingered. Before he knew it, his back was pressed painfully against the counter and his arms had curled around his body, in a desperate attempt to comfort himself.

"F-Finn, I – I wasn't – I didn't-"

"Dude, no! I know! I didn't – I didn't mean it like that…"

Kurt nodded slowly, his lips drawn together in a tight line. He opened his mouth, but hesitated, eyes shifting down to the broken class and spilled spices. "I'll, um," he made a vague gesture down to the mess, "I'll just clean this up. You guys… You guys go…sit down, or something. I'll be there. S-soon."

* * *

><p>"H-hey, you guys," Kurt mumbled awkwardly, entering the living room, a tight, false smile plastered on his face. All talking in the room ceased, and the eyes all turned on the small boy, faint traces of hope under the club's otherwise hesitant expressions. Silence filled the room for a few moments, and Kurt hoped that he wouldn't be the one that would have to break it, to ask an uncomfortable 'how is everything?' or 'how have you all been?' because those never went anywhere.<p>

Thankfully, at least in some aspects, Puck leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and raising an eyebrow. "Some idiot at Dalton give you that shiner?"

Kurt scrunched up his face in confusion, then his hand came up to ghost over the area beneath his left eye, suddenly remembering that he had just washed his face off in the kitchen. The concealer must have come off.

"You can sit down, you know," Puck continued, amusement tingeing his voice as he took in Kurt's withdrawn behavior. The pale boy scanned the room, seeing a small space beside Puck, against the armrest. There was also a spot, on the other couch, between Quinn and Mike, but it looked pretty small, and the blonde cheerleader still looked fearful of him. He nodded quickly and took a couple strides over and sat delicately on the spot beside the mohawked teen.

"You never answered his question, Lady Lips," Santana quipped from her spot on the floor between Brittany's legs. She raised her eyebrow and gave the young boy an expectant look, seeming to have gotten past her initial fear of him.

Drawing in a deep breath that ended up being uneven and shaky, Kurt nodded. "I – yeah. Yeah, there's a group of kids that have a problem with me… But…nothing new, right?" He tried to add a touch of lightheartedness to the situation, but seemingly failed. No one giggled, or broke a smile. In reality, it hadn't been too big of a deal. Kurt dropped his phone in the cafeteria, and reached down to grab it, when Renny 'accidentally' elbowed him in the eye. It hurt for a while, and left a pretty nasty bruise, but it wasn't too big of a deal, compared to what could have happened.

"Why didn't you tell us, Kurt?"

His heart sunk. Kurt turned to face Mercedes, her dark, pained eyes penetrating him. He knew what she meant. She wanted to know why he had never told them about the first attack, the rape.

He just shook his head, "I can't, 'Cedes. I just… I'm sorry… I'm sorry I never told you. I never told _anyone_… I know you felt like I didn't trust you, but it wasn't like that… Can we just… Can we _please_ talk about _anything_ else? I haven't seen you guys in…five…five months. You can't tell me there hasn't been huge drama since I left." Finally, at this, the group all smiled, feeling a tiny bit of the diva they all knew and loved return to them.

"Quinn and Sam are together," Brittany offered randomly, pointing to the two blondes, and Kurt smiled in return, missing the tall cheerleader's simplemindedness. "And we also got someone to replace you in Glee." At this, Kurt's small smile fell, but Brittany didn't seem to understand her bluntness, so he forced it back into place.

"Oh," Kurt nodded, obvious fake enthusiasm in his voice to comfort the blonde, "Well, that's good. You need 12 members, after all. I'm glad I didn't…ruin your chances for competition season."

"Don't worry, Kurt," Rachel cut in suddenly, her professional tone and attitude in place. "She has nothing on your vocal range or stage presence. We simply needed a warm body to fill in your spot, and sing backup for my solos," she nodded curtly, not bothering to notice the eye rolling and annoyed looks the entire club was giving her.

Kurt couldn't help laugh lightly at this, causing the whole of the room to look at him as though he'd lost his mind. "Thanks, Rach," he giggled, shaking his head in bemusement. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed the silly behaviors and antics of the New Directions. If it had been a year earlier, even 9 months earlier, before his attack when he lost interest in everything, Kurt would have been upset by the solo-hogging, selfish words of his friend. She always seemed to know exactly how to compliment and insult you at the same time, making it hard to understand her intensions.

"So… Tapping any hot ass at reform school, Hummel?"

Kurt choked on nothing at Santana's lewd comment, giving her an incredulous look. "No! Of course I'm not!" But it was quite easy to see the flush of color that tinted the boy's cheeks and neck. At his apparent blushing, the entire room quieted down.

"A-are you?" Finn questioned awkwardly, seeing his stepbrother's embarrassment at the question.

"No, Finn! Are you serious?"

"What about that Blake guy that texted you last night? You never did tell me if he was your boyfriend, or not," he pointed out, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Kurt let out a breath of annoyance. "_Blaine_, Finn. His name is _Blaine._"

"Ha! So you _don't_ deny you guys are boyfriends!" Finn pointed an accusing finger at the young boy, causing Kurt to blush an even deeper shade of red. He opened his mouth to respond, but hesitated, and closed it again. At this, a few occupants of the room let their mouths fall open.

"So you _are_ getting some," Puck stated, a dirty smile on his face, nodding his head in approval. Kurt's lips made to speak again, but he still seemed to have trouble forming an accurate response.

"I – _no._ I'm not '_getting some_,' Noah. Blaine and I are just… He's… It's just complicated," Kurt decided finally, crossing his arms and legs in a defensive nature. The New Directions didn't seem convinced, though.

"Why is he at Dalton?" Artie asked carefully, looking at Kurt, even though the pale boy wasn't facing him. Kurt's eyes flickered to the other boy, and he blinked a few times, contemplating whether or not to reply.

"Yeah, what's he in for?" Puck. Of course, the mohawked teen had been to juvie before, briefly, but still. He knew the kinds of things teenagers did to get into places like reform schools. He knew what _Kurt_ had done to get into reform school. Logically, he would be curious what the boy that Kurt seemed involved with had done to land a place there.

"I don't know," Kurt mumbled, so obviously lying that even he cringed at the falseness of the statement.

"Bull," Puck shot out, clearly not convinced by the apparent deceit.

"Yeah, Kurt. Just tell us." Sam spoke for the first time since he'd arrived, looking slightly uncomfortable, but still trying to be assertive.

Kurt looked down into his lap, realizing there was probably no way he could get around this. "He, um… Heroin."

"Heroin?" Tina squeaked, bringing a hand up to cover her mouth out of surprise. Kurt nodded, bringing his eyes up to meet the Asian girl's gaze. He opened his mouth to elaborate, but was cut off by Mike.

"Did he sell it? Or…?"

"No," Kurt said quickly, then looked thoughtful. "Well… I mean, he didn't _actually_ sell it, he was just using it, but they charged him for selling. For intent to distribute. Because he had it separated into different bags, I guess," he nodded to himself, remembering the explanation Blaine had given him the first day they met. The first day he had seen those incredible hazel eyes and the marred forearm that came with it.

"You're going out with a drug addict…?" Quinn spoke, hardly above a whisper, but the judgmental tone rang clear in her voice. Kurt furrowed his eyebrows together in annoyance.

"_No_. He just recently _quit_ doing drugs, I helped him through the withdrawal… And I'm not going out with him," he added quickly, tilting his chin up in self-importance. "I _told_ you, we're…in a complicated relationship."

"What's this I'm hearing?" Burt Hummel stepped into the living room, his arms crossed threateningly across his chest.

Kurt paled. "I – nothing, Dad! These guys are just being nosy and interrogating me about my friends!"

Kurt's father stared at his son for a few moments, searching his face. "I heard you say you're in a _complicated relationship_ with a drug addict?"

Kurt's eyes fell to the floor and his face burned red. "I… He's not addicted anymore, Dad. He quit," he mumbled quietly, knowing how lame his argument was.

Burt nodded a few times slowly, seemingly considering the information he just heard, but Kurt knew that most likely wasn't the case. He was probably trying to think of something to say about forbidding Kurt to see the boy, or conveying his disapproval. "I don't like the sound of this kid," he started, but, by the tone of his voice, it was obvious there was more he wanted to say. "But if he makes you happy… I guess I'll have to deal." Kurt's face showed absolute shock, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape, but before he could respond, his father continued. "But if he hurts you, I will _not_ hesitate to drive the two hours over there with my shotgun."

Kurt smiled shyly, his dad being the overprotective papa bear that he always was. Or that he always had been, before… Kurt suddenly remembered everything that had happened between him and his father. In the last two minutes of their conversation, he had completely forgotten, too preoccupied with the words his dad was telling him, the words that threw him so forcefully back into the past, into a time before everything horrible happened, that he didn't even remember he was supposed to be distant with the man.

As his dad nodded in finality, making a low grunt of affirmation and leaving the room, Kurt let a real smile fall onto his lips, something that his face wasn't very used to, anymore. His relationship with his dad might be broken, truthfully, it could be completely shattered. But in that last couple minutes, perhaps a tiny piece of it was put back into place. Maybe there was something beautiful, something stronger and even more whole, that could come of this shattered bond, after each piece was carefully put back into place.

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to do this…" Kurt mumbled, embarrassed, eyes shifting around to take in the scene before him.<p>

The entire Hudmel lot was loading up his Navigator, preparing the trip back to Dalton as a family.

"Kurt, honey, _please_. We weren't there when you moved in, and we didn't help when Finn came to bring you some of your things. The least we can do is see the place you're living and help you move these boxes you're taking with you." Carole smiled, placing a gentle hand on Kurt's shoulder, which he just stared at, confused at how to argue such a statement.

"I don't need help moving them. I can get my friends to do it," Kurt suggested quietly, searching the faces of his family for any kind of reaction or agreement. He found nothing of the kind, though Burt began shaking his head back and forth.

"No way, kiddo. We're gonna go see your room, and maybe meet your roommate," Kurt's mind suddenly flashed to Thad, smoking nonchalantly and reading some old novel on his bed, "and we can help you unpack, if you want."

Kurt rolled his eyes as he settled into the back seat beside Finn. "_Dad_," he moaned, huffing a small sigh, "I only have _three_ boxes. One of them is clothes. Another one is all the stuff for my laptop, and one is mostly food and more clothes. I think I'll be fine," he finished, his voice dripping with attitude. The car bumped along the road for a few moments before he added, "And just because you're helping me move doesn't make up for all the crap you did. You're not all of a sudden _father of the year._"

He knew it was a low blow, hitting his father where he knew it hurt, but he felt like the last couple days was just spent with the man trying too hard to be nice to him, to the point of making it obvious and annoying Kurt. He understood that his dad wanted to fix everything he broke, but to do that, he needed to just be the same old dad that Kurt knew and loved. Not something else, or anyone else.

Silence filled the rest of the car ride to Kurt's school, with the occasional quip from Finn, asking if that was Dalton, or if _that_ was Dalton, or commenting randomly on things he'd see out the window.

* * *

><p>"Is that Dalton?" Finn pointed ahead to a large, vague area, surrounded by fencing and entered through a long, narrow, road.<p>

"Yes, Finn, _yes…_ _That_ is Dalton…" Kurt's eye twitched from his position leaning his face against the cold window, eyeing the approaching cluster of buildings through the glass.

Once they had been let in through the gate, they drove up to the parking lot in front of the main building and pulled into a space. Kurt felt eerily familiar with this situation, remembering his first day arriving at the reform school. Kurt was surprised that not many students shot interested glances at their car, as they had done on his first day, but he figured they were probably used to seeing cars pull up at the end of the Thanksgiving weekend, what with families bringing back their sons, and all.

"Hey, Kurt!" The pale boy whipped his head around as he exited the car, only to come face to face with an over-excited dark-haired boy, acting suspiciously joyful, hauntingly similar to his blonde roommate.

"Hey, Nick… How was the weekend here?" Kurt questioned him casually, turning around to pull his duffel from the car.

"It was fun. We ate Italian food, though," he sighed, shrugging one shoulder lightly. He glanced over Kurt's shoulder to see his family beginning to exit his car and raised an eyebrow. "Is that your…parents? And brother?"

Kurt nodded slowly, shooting a quick glance in their direction, before returning his gaze to the dark-haired boy. "I, um… I brought some stuff back from my _house_," he said the word questioningly, remembering the strange house that he was supposed to call home, "and I guess they want to help me with it. Try to redeem themselves after the last five months," he said cheekily, rolling his eyes.

Nick nodded understandingly, then gave a lazy wave at Finn as he walked past, carrying a small cardboard box in his hands. Burt and Carole made their way over to the two boys and gave them expectant looks. Kurt bristled and his eyes flickered between his parents and his friend.

"I – Dad, Carole. This is Nick…" He gestured hesitantly to the dark-haired boy and watched his father carefully, seeing him taking in Nick's generally clean appearance and bright attitude.

"Er – Hi, Mr. Hummel!" Nick shoved his hand out, putting on his best polite smile. Burt eyed the boy's hand, shifting the box he was holding around to have it in one arm, and grasped the extended handshake-offer firmly.

"So…you my son's, uh, roommate, then?"

"…Oh, no. I live next door to Kurt, sir. His roommate's name is Thad…" Nick trailed off, leaning slightly to the side in order to look at something behind the man. "…In fact, that's him and a few of the guys from our floor coming over right now," he pointed with a raised eyebrow over to a long field that seemed to lead far away from campus. Kurt shifted his gaze and it instantly fell upon a boy with dark, messy curls and a smile that he could appreciate, even from the distance. Next to Blaine, Thad and David smirked knowingly, cigarettes in hand, as they all noticed and began approaching the black Navigator.

Kurt sighed and smiled coyly, not realizing just exactly how much he had missed the boy in the past four days. Everyone turned to see the three students approach, and Kurt, feeling suddenly shy because of his recent relationship-progression with Blaine, timidly approached him and looked at him through his long eyelashes.

"Hi," the small boy breathed, wanting to hug him, but not doing so, and wanting to kiss him, but didn't instead. Blaine nodded in acknowledgement to the group of people and smiled dazzlingly at Kurt, then absently pulled a single cigarette from his jacket pocket, along with an old-styled Zippo lighter. Kurt's sucked in a surprised breath and his eyes widened, and as the other boy began clicking the lighter and creating sparks in an attempt to light the cigarette, he shrieked, "Blaine!"

Said boy dropped the stick in alarm, his eyes shooting up to meet Kurt's. Before he could question the sudden scream of noise, he saw Kurt's parents glaring at him with slightly judgmental eyes. From where he was standing, Blaine could see the boy that Kurt had said was his stepbrother, Finn, freeze on his way to the main building at the mention of his name. He whipped around and began stalking back towards the small group of people. Before Blaine could make a comment or try to defend his stupid thoughtlessness, Kurt's dad crossed his arms across his chest and tilted his chin up slightly.

"You smoke?" Blaine's eyes flew to the older man, suddenly afraid, and oddly wanting his approval. The curly-haired boy tried to smile lightly, but it ended up looking like an uncomfortable grimace.

"I'm – yes, I'm trying to kick the habit," he replied slowly, a slight questioning tone to his voice, like he wasn't sure if that was the correct response. Burt just nodded slightly, then Blaine could see the gears turning in his head, until realization dawned on his face.

"So, you're Blaine, huh?" The curly-haired boy nodded quickly in reply. "I heard you've been trying to _kick_ a lot of habits lately."

Blaine's eyes flickered back to Kurt, where he still wore his wide-eyed, doe look, silent in shock at the situation. "Um… I…" He stopped and tilted his head contemplatively, his face scrunching up just the smallest bit in confusion. "Wait – I'm sorry. What?"

Finn then approached the group, his eyes boring into Blaine's face, making the curly-haired boy's eyes shift to him momentarily, but then back to the older man that was speaking to him.

"You heard what I said. My son's been tellin' me that you've been trying to quit your addiction to heroin?"

Once again, Blaine gave Kurt a worried, quick glance, silently asking him why on Earth he would tell his father such a thing. "I – um, yes. Yes, I'm four weeks clean, tomorrow, sir." Kurt's father nodded again, slowly, then stuck his hand out for the boy to shake. Blaine, surprised that the gesture was offered, took in a sharp breath, then shook the hand eagerly. "It's nice to meet you, sir," his eyes flew down to the box in Burt's hand. "Do you – can I help you with that?"

Seemingly impressed, the man's eyebrows shot up in surprise and he shifted the box into the curly-haired boy's hands, then turned to the two other students nearby. "And which one of you is Kurt's roommate, then?"

"That would be me," Thad replied coolly, not making any attempt to uncross him arms from where they were folded over his chest, one had casually holding a lit cigarette.

Burt's face scrunched up in annoyance and he glared down at the smoke rising from the stick. "You smoke those things around my son in your dorm room-?"

"_Dad_!"

"Yeah, Dude, don't you always tell people not to smoke around you because it'll ruin your '_rare, countertenor voice,_' or whatever?" Finn looked at his stepbrother suspiciously, noticing the confused glances that the young boy was getting from his fellow students. Kurt, himself, paled and his mouth dropped open.

"…Voice? Wait I – I thought you didn't…sing?" David questioned with a raised eyebrow, blowing out smoke, trying to aim away from the other people surrounding him. All of Kurt's family looked equally confused, and Blaine just looked slightly distressed, giving Kurt a sympathetic expression.

"Kurt-"

"I don't," Kurt cut off Carole's attempt at understanding the situation, tugging the box from her hands and grabbing Blaine by the arm, pulling him in the direction of the main building. "Come on, Blaine."

But, before he could properly walk off dramatically, a small, brand-new, red BMW X6 zoomed up to the parking lot, and was clumsily parked in the spot next to Kurt's Navigator, causing the young boy to stop dead in his tracks, still clinging to Blaine's arm lazily. A young, tall, very tan, blonde woman stepped out of the driver's side, in a surprising lack of clothes for the cold weather.

Kurt suddenly understood who this woman was when Jeff timidly shuffled out of the passenger side and shot a small smile in the direction of the students. "Hey, you guys," he muttered, eyeing his sister as she zipped down her impossibly tight jacket even further, to reveal an unholy amount of cleavage.

"Hi, Jeff... _Hi, Sarah,_" David smirked, a dirty look falling on his features, his eyes raking up and down the blonde girl's exposed body.

"Oh, hey Dave," she replied sultrily, her voice naturally low and raspy. She turned to face Blaine and Kurt, and narrowed her eyes at the curly-haired boy seductively. "Hey there, B," she purred, walking up to the boy and running a hand down his chest, causing him to shiver and grimace, pulling away.

"Wow. Okay. Sarah, I told you," he gestured up and down his body, then to his arm, where Kurt still hung on, "I'm gay. I'm, like, _really_ gay," he clarified, his eyebrow cocked, leaning in slightly to the young boy. "I like _boys…_and sometimes wear tight pants."

"I could get into that," Sarah threw out off-handedly, her attention now focused on Kurt, not seeing when Blaine rolled his eyes dramatically. "This your boyfriend? He's cute," she brought a hand up and touched Kurt's face, flushed from both from the awkward situation, and from being upset from earlier. The blonde girl didn't seem to notice when he flinched away instinctively, or the uncomfortable look Blaine gave Kurt.

"I – he's-"

But Kurt simply tugged on his arm again and marched then up to the stairs leading to the main building, this time, not turning back around.

* * *

><p>"<em>Shh!<em>"

"It's my room, too. I can go in there."

"No! Then they'll stop talking."

The entire group of boys, minus Kurt, stood outside said boy's dorm room, trying to listen intently to the conversation that was held within it. They all leaned against the wooden door and tried to make out the words being said. It appeared someone was moving around things within the room, most likely Kurt unpacking.

_"-tell them that you didn't sing, Dude? Were you scared they were gonna, like, kick your ass, or something?"_

_"No, Finn… I just…I don't sing…now."_

_"…But… Before, all you did was sing. It was, like, who you were…"_

A brief, thick silence filled the room. The sound of the boxes and movement within the room ceased, and an audible sigh from Kurt could be heard.

_"Maybe you didn't notice, Finn… But after I was raped, I stopped singing… And I know what you're gonna say, I still went to Glee, and I still performed, but not really… I opened my mouth, and noise came out, but I didn't sing. I can't…sing. Not anymore."_

_"…Dude, Kurt. You can't let what those guys did to you ruin the rest of your life-"_

_"WHAT THEY DID TO ME?"_

The seven boys outside the door flinched back after hearing the loud, shrieking voice, but also because of the unsettling new piece of information they just discovered. _Guys_? _They_? As in, _plural_? Kurt wasn't just raped. He was gang-raped…

_"How about you have four men rape you! Then see if __you__ can just move on!" _

The boys all shared shocked, sympathetic glances, trying not to imagine someone as fragile and gentle as Kurt getting thrown around by four older men, and being violated by them.

_"Whoa, okay. Sorry… I just – I meant that…eventually, you have to-"_

_"Just go, Finn. Our parents are waiting down by the car, and you helped me bring the boxes up, like you insisted, so just…please."_

The sound of footsteps moving towards the direction of the door caused the seven boys to bolt up and dash into Jeff and Nick's room, pretending they hadn't been listening to the entire conversation. Once they heard the door open and close again, and the retreating footsteps echo down the hall, they exchanged a few awkward looks, none of them saying what they wanted to say. Finally, after a few minutes, Blaine left the room and walked out to face the door of Kurt's dorm, contemplating if a visitor would be the best thing for the young boy at that moment.

He timidly knocked a couple times and, after hearing no response, cracked the door open hesitantly, poking his head in the door. Blaine found the young boy sitting gently on the edge of his bed, gazing idly at the wall in front of him, his hands flipping an object over and over again in his hands. At his entrance, Kurt looked over, his eyes obviously red from crying and offered Blaine a watery smile, and placed the object he was holding on his bedside table.

Blaine entered the room entirely and closed the door behind himself, joining Kurt on his bed and giving the small boy a timid smile and placing a warm hand on his upper arm, running it up and down softly. This seemed to be enough to open the dam, as Kurt's face crumbled and he let out a loud cry and started shaking with silent sobs, hanging his head down, bringing his hands up to cover his face.

"Kurt…" Blaine breathed out sadly, his face twisted in pain for the other boy. He brought him into his arms and dragged him into his lap, his knees high against his chest, and rocked him like a child, back and forth. "Shh, come here," he muttered, his own eyes falling shut as he tried to sooth the boy, bringing his arms around his back and holding tightly, sighing as Kurt buried his face into his shoulder. "You'll be okay, baby… You will..."

The air in the room relaxed a bit and Kurt's sobs subsided slightly. The young boy sniffled and dug his face deeper into Blaine, turning his head subtly and trying to control his hitching breath. "I missed you," he murmured softly into Blaine's neck, not missing the way the other boy's arms tightened around him at the words.

"I know… I know, I missed you, too," Blaine whispered, shocked at himself, never remembering having said such words to someone before. Kurt sniffled another few times and pulled away from the intimate embrace to look at the curly-haired boy's face. He wiped his cheeks where the remaining tears lived, then brought his hand up to gently run his fingers along Blaine's stubbly cheek, seemingly just searching his hazel eyes. Blaine let a small smile play at his lips, then covered Kurt's hand on his cheek with his own. "What?" He questioned softly, tenderly stroking the young boy's pale fingers.

"I was just…thinking back to what we were texting about…on Thursday… _And_…I _think_," Kurt began carefully, his eyes shifting down to the bed, "that I…couldn't go everyday…_not_ calling you my boyfriend," he finished, his eyes gazing back up into the soft hazel-green ones, a look of hope and hesitance in his expression.

Instead of answering or agreeing, Blaine leaned toward the small boy and brushed his lips against his soft, pink ones, their hands both dropping from Blaine's face, allowing him to grasp the pale boy's hips delicately. Kurt sighed into the kiss and shifted himself so he was straddling the curly-haired boy's lap, kneeling on either side of his hips. Blaine brought his hands up and ran them along Kurt's back, earning a soft moan from the young boy.

Kurt turned his face away from Blaine and the other boy hummed at the loss, and the grip he had on Kurt tightened, pulling their hips flush against each other. "I'll," Kurt breathed, his eyes shut tight and face flushed, "t-take that as-" Blaine softly bit the soft skin along the pale boy's jaw, "-_oh_!" Blaine grinned against the tender skin, pleased at the idea of him being the one to cause that noise to escape from the young boy's mouth. "I'll t-take that as a yes, then, B-Blaine?"

The curly-haired boy chuckled at this, causing pleasant vibrations to run through the skin on Kurt's neck. And, once again, instead of answering, Blaine brought his hands down to the boy's slender waist and flipped them over, making it so he was the one on top. Kurt let a faint gasp escape his lips, and stared up at the curly-haired boy, running his eyes over every detail of his face.

He was everything. He didn't know it before, and he would have never guessed it, but this boy, right here, right in front of him, on _top_ of him, was everything. He was everything he wanted, and needed and craved. He was everything that made him feel okay, and right and whole. And Kurt needed everything. And he wanted everything. And, this time, the boy seemed to want him, too. If the weekend back home with his family and old friends showed him anything, it was that Kurt had changed. Whether it was after he was raped, or when he took another person's life, or if it was the time he spent in jail, or here at Dalton, the small, pale boy had changed. And perhaps he needed his old life to see just how much he had changed. And that he could now fully embrace his new life.

Unable to control himself any longer, Kurt lunged at Blaine's lips, connecting his hands with the back of the boy's neck and drawing him in closer. A low, sighing growl sounded from the back of Blaine's throat and Kurt basically lost it. He shifted his arms to cling around the boy's shoulders and hold him even tighter, as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss an impossible amount. Kurt brought his legs up to wrap around Blaine's waist, eliminating the small space that had remained between their crotches.

Blaine took this as motive to roll his hips into Kurt, causing the young boy to shakily inhale a quick breath, the fact that Blaine's cock was completely rock-hard being brought to his attention. Kurt's hands on Blaine's shoulders tensed and he experimentally gave a small buck upwards, trying for friction for his own erection. He let out a small, mewling moan as his efforts were rewarded.

"Fuck, Kurt," Blaine suddenly pulled away from the kiss, his voice hoarse-sounding and breathless, "you're – you're so…hot for this, aren't you? _Shit_," he moaned, coming down to devour the boy's neck, continuing to thrust against him, though noticing him freeze slightly beneath him at the words. Before he could carry on much further, Kurt pushed against his chest, though not forcefully, causing the other boy to pull back and search his face, panting. "What…? What's wrong?"

Kurt blinked a few times, his face completely flushed red and his breath heavy. "I – I just…" He trailed off, a puzzled look taking over his features as his eyes diverted.

Blaine removed himself from on top of Kurt and sat up, lowering his head to try to catch the boy's gaze, still eyeing his face for any sign of what was the matter. When Kurt still didn't look him in the eye, Blaine sighed and brought a hand up to gently run along the junction of Kurt's jaw and neck. "Babe, if I'm gonna be your boyfriend, you have to be able to talk to me."

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned into the warm touch, humming in response to the curly-haired boy's statement, his words spoken in a quiet whisper, "I… Can we just…?" He opened his eyes and shifted his stare and immediately melted, seeing the concern and heart in that hazel gaze. He could tell this boy anything. "Blaine… Can we just…_kiss_? I mean, just…right now," he mumbled, his eyes searching Blaine's face for his reaction, expecting some kind of disappointment or annoyance, but instead he was met with a look of honest care.

"I," Blaine began, seemingly stunned at the boy's sudden shyness and change of attitude. He then remembered the conversation he had just overheard before he entered the room, about rape and being changed forever because of it. "Kurt, we can do whatever you want to… I'm not…gonna _make_ you do _anything_," he stated clearly, wanting the young boy to fully understand the sincerity of his words. Blaine brought his arms up to wrap around Kurt's back, pulling him in closely until their foreheads were touching.

Kurt giggled softly when his eyebrow came in contact with the curly-haired boy's piercing, and he closed his eyes and tilted his chin slightly, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss. Blaine smiled against Kurt's mouth, running his hands down the boy's shoulders to rest on the small of his back.

"This," Blaine breathed, pulling away slightly, "is nice," he finished, his faint half-smile perfectly in place, and when Kurt gave him a silly smile, he chuckled in response. "_Really_! It is. _This_… Just doing _this_…is nice… I've never…" He tilted his head and gave an almost sad smile, his thumbs beginning to run small circles in Kurt's back. "I've never…_done_ this before," he finished softly, and Kurt just watched him, seeing all the emotions playing across his face and thinking back to all the changes this boy went through in the last handful of weeks.

_Me neither_, Kurt thought to himself, but his mouth was suddenly occupied with a pair of smoky, soft lips that he found himself unable to speak. And the kiss was gentle and kind, not an act of sex, but a showing of affection and intimacy. It was exactly right.

* * *

><p>"So…what's this all about? Last time I checked, <em>I<em> was the one that called the meetings to order…" Kurt stepped into the Arts Building and began unbuttoning his coat, eyebrow raised in question.

"This is an _emergency_ Warblers meeting! And you two are the last ones to get here…" Wes folded his arms across his chest and eyed the two teens suspiciously. "What were you guys _doing_, anyway?"

Kurt's eyes flickered to Blaine for a brief moment, and the curly-haired boy simply shrugged, taking a seat on a nearby couch beside Liam, a small, blonde-haired boy who seemed stoned most of the time.

"I was unpacking, and Blaine was helping me…"

Seeming to be satisfied with the answer, Wes nodded and began rifling through the contents of his backpack, appearing to ignore the pale boy.

"Do you know what this is about…?" Blaine inquired Liam, who only shrugged lightly with one shoulder, his head falling back to rest of the back of the couch. Blaine sighed and scanned the room, seeing Kurt sitting on the bench of the piano, watching Wes intently, as every occupant of the room seemed to be doing. "Okay, Wes, we're all here, I think you can start now…" A few murmurs of agreement sounded throughout the room at Blaine's comment. "Besides, we have group in less than an hour."

Wes nodded, not drawing his eyes away from his seemingly endless backpack as he dug through it, and finally pulled a few sheets of paper and some other object from it, and turning to face the mass of fifteen boys. He opened his mouth to speak and brought the object he was holding up, but was cut off.

"Excuse me, Wesley, but what exactly am I looking at right now?" Kurt's diva voice sliced through the room's silence, his arms and legs crossing with attitude. The Asian boy's face scrunched up in confusion and he eyed the space around his and tried to follow the young boy. When he opened his mouth to question, Kurt continued, "Is that a _gavel_?"

Wes tilted his chin up defensively, and turned the small, wooden object over in his hands, then walked over to the piano and placed a small sound block down and stuck it with the gavel. "I call this meeting to order," he declared, earning a few good eye-rolls and sighs from the room of teenage criminals. Over the past few weeks, Wes had developed a slight hunger for power.

"We _talked_ about this, Wes-"

"Even though Kurt is basically the one in charge here, because he…knows what he's doing," Wes gestured to the boy at the piano bench, "I was looking around online this weekend, and came across something pretty interesting," he held up the sheets of paper he had retrieved earlier, as though anyone would be able to read them from the distance. "Sectionals…are in three weeks. The invitational we held last week was really, _really_ bad-"

"It wasn't that _bad_, it's just that no one came-"

"-and if we want to have any kind of shot at this, we need to understand our competition. So, here we have it, you guys… The first group we're going against…is…the Hipsters…from Warren Township…" His eyes scanned over the papers. "And I guess they're, like…a bunch of old people…so…" Wes shrugged and flipped to the next sheet. "And the other group is the New Directions."

Kurt paled and froze in his spot, his heart feeling like it was beating unnaturally slow and hard.

"Who are from…William McKinley High, which is in Lima…"

Somewhere in his mind, he knew, or possibly assumed, that he would be competing against his old Glee club… Perhaps he never thought the Warblers would actually be able to pull off the invitational they held the week before, or that they would get enough members… But here they were, going up against his old Glee club, his old friends, his stepbrother, in a singing competition that meant so much to all of them, for so many different reasons.

"Kurt?"

The boy looked up, not realizing he had so intensely spaced out, seeing the eyes of all the Warblers staring directly into him.

"It would really give us a leg up on the other groups… What do you think…?"

Kurt stared at David, who was talking to him with an almost pleading tone to his voice, and shrugged, trying not to admit so easily that he hadn't been paying even an ounce of attention.

"Yeah? Okay, well you'd probably know where you'd best be placed, so…yeah. Go ahead, I guess. We should probably use this time to practice anyway."

Kurt blinked and raised an eyebrow, trying to figure out exactly what anyone was talking about. "Wait… What?"

Blaine, along with the other Warblers, stood up to move into their positions and the curly-haired boy stopped beside his boyfriend and watched his face. "Babe, you just agreed to sing with us…" When Kurt's eyes widened comically, Blaine ran his hand along the boy's scarf with a small half-smile on his face. "Just try it, okay? You have a beautiful voice…and like David said, having a countertenor would really help us with the competition."

Kurt nodded, then turned to face the group of Warblers. "Well… If I'm going to be joining you, I'm not exactly sure how to go about assigning parts…"

"We should have more than one person do it," Flint suggested casually, his arms folded over his chest, "like a team of people. We could do, like, leadership elections, or something."

"Yeah," Thad agreed, stepping away from the group to better see Kurt. "They could choose the songs, too. Not that I have any problems with the songs we're doing now, _but_ we basically fight over everything until we find one we all like…which is really fucking annoying."

"Yeah, yeah. We can discuss this all later, at our normal meetings," Nick waved a hand dismissively. "Right now, though, and especially for _this_ song we're doing, I think Blaine should solo like usual for the main parts, and then instead of him doing his iffy falsetto for the high parts, Kurt could take over."

The pale boy's eyes widened, and he seemed to be overwhelmed, but he nodded instead of protesting. He was, after all, a countertenor, and if this was actually happening, he needed to really do it.

The background vocals began and for a split second, before entering the group where he rightfully belonged, Kurt appreciated how far the group of delinquents had come, in terms of music and dedication to the group.

_"Teenage dreams in a teenage circus  
>Running around like a clown on purpose<br>Who gives a damn about the family you come from?  
>No giving up when you're young and you want some…"<em>

And Kurt could feel himself beginning to shed the dark parts of himself that covered up and shielded the him that sang. His part was coming up, and he was ready for it. He was ready to sing, he was ready to hit the high notes, and he was ready for everyone to hear it. He could sing. He sang. This wasn't the way he thought everyone would first hear his voice, but it was okay. These guys were his friends now, his family. If he couldn't sing in front of them, then who? He made brief eye contact with Blaine, his boyfriend, _boyfriend_, and smiled shyly, before opening his mouth to belt his short solo.

_"…Running around again  
>(Running around again)<br>Running from running  
>Running around again<br>(Running around again)  
>Running from running…"<em>

And with the looks he was receiving from his fellow Warblers, Kurt knew everything was right. His voice rung out high and clear, like it was supposed to, and the last piece of wall that he had so tactfully and strategically placed to hide and protect himself up fell. And he couldn't have been happier about it.

The rest of the song was beautiful, and every so often, Kurt caught the eyes of Blaine, or another singer, and he got a sudden jolt in his chest, like his heartbeat jumped, or like his lungs tensed, and he realized how long it had been since he'd felt that way about anyone when he made eye contact with them. It was long before jail, before the killing, perhaps before the rape. And after nine or so months of not having a real kind of of connection with others, especially through song, Kurt realized it felt really, _really_, good.

_"…We are not what you think we are  
>We are golden, we are golden."<br>_


	9. Miss

**I am fail. that is all. :  
>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee <strong>

* * *

><p>"<em>Kuuurt…<em>" Thad warned, drawing out his roommate's name absently, not taking his eyes away from the old copy of _Othello_ he was reading.

"_Nnnng!" _

The dark-haired boy slammed the book down in his lap with a huff and snapped his head in the direction of the pale boy. "Dammit, Kurt… Shut _up_!" He grabbed blindly for something on his bed, his annoyed expression, eyebrow raised, not leaving Kurt, and found a spare pillow resting beside him. Thad hurled the item at the mumbling, sleeping boy on the room's other bed and watched hopefully as it landed directly on his red, distressed face. Thad's face fell when the boy didn't react in even the slightest way at the object thrown at him.

Seeming to have muffled his noises slightly, Thad returned to his reading, only to be interrupted a few minutes later, when Kurt gasped loudly and flung the pillow from his face, his arms jolting around to grasp at the sheets and his head falling sideways to bury into his own pillow.

"_Oh_," Kurt moaned, his face looking hurt and flushed, shining with sweat, "Oh _God_!"

Thad placed his book down entirely on the table beside him and sat up, sighing, his eyes scanning over his obviously-dreaming roommate, still rolling around and making incoherent noises and mumbling bits of words.

He stood up and approached Kurt, sitting down hesitantly beside him on his bed. Thad carefully reached a hand out, and placed it on the boy's shoulder, beginning to gently shake him. "Kurt, man, come on. Wake up… Kurt... _Kurt_… Wake _up_!" His shaking the boy had progressed until it was rather urgent, and as he opened his mouth to try to wake the boy again, he was suddenly struck hard across his right cheekbone.

Stunned, he stumbled back and ended up half-kneeling on the floor, staring wide-eyed at the pale boy in bed, realizing that he had just been punched. Kurt muttered something feverishly and rolled onto his side, his guilty hand fisting the sheets, and letting out another soft mewling noise.

Thad squinted the eye on his right side, and the numbness of the impact began to wear off. He brought his fingers up to cautiously run over the place of hurt and his hand flinched away and he hissed in pain. "Fucking shit, Kurt!" He grunted, shooting up to his feet and sighing in frustration, his eyes clamped shut. He moaned and tried to hold the bruising area, and suddenly, the door to their room flung open.

"-not saying that it's not _also_ a good movie, but just that it's not…"

"Naked enough for your taste?" David offered Wes, as they, along with Blaine and Jeff, came into the room, carrying heavy-looking French textbooks and binders. Blaine rolled his eyes as he fully entered, closing the door behind himself. He turned towards his two arguing friends.

"You guys, if you think about what the movie was actually _about_, then – oh, shit!" Blaine just noticed Thad standing, squinting one eye, the side of his face already beginning to swell to a reddish-purple, supporting himself slightly on the edge of his bedside table. Blaine rushed over to his friend, not even looking down as he dropped his school supplies to the floor. "Thad, what the fuck happened?"

Thad snapped up, wincing as he tried to make a facial expression. "You! Your – your _boyfriend_!" He pointed an accusing finger at Blaine, then switched it over to Kurt, looking desperate, angry and confused at the still-slumbering boy.

Blaine's eyes darted back and forth, between his seemingly napping boyfriend and the angry dark-haired boy in front of him, trying to grasp the situation. "I – Kurt…? Wait, what are you talking about?"

"Your boyfriend punched me in the face! I was just trying to _wake him up_ and –"

Kurt's sleep-driven-self chose this moment to jump violently and let out a long, breathy moan, melting into an airy scream, getting his boyfriend's attention, as well as every other occupant of the room.

"Oh, Kurt," Blaine's voice was dripping in concern for the small boy, and he stumbled over to the bed and crawled into the covers, slowly moving himself closer to Kurt, who was facing away from him, and tentatively placing a hand on the boy's back, sweat soaking through his shirt. "_Kurt_, baby, wake up… You're having a nightmare…"

At his words, the small boy's eyes shot open, and he frantically began eyeing his surroundings, his gaze finally landing on the boy in his bed, causing his eyes to widen dramatically and his pale skin to flush brightly, his neck and tips of his ears turning especially red. "B-Blaine! Babe, I – I didn't –" Kurt staggered anxiously onto his feet and tried to walk his way away from his boyfriend, but knocked into Jeff, then David, causing him to stutter out noises.

"Kurt, it's okay. Just… Uh…" Blaine trailed off, his face blushing to a shade even darker than Kurt's as his stare shifted down to the boy's waist. At this, the others in the room followed his gaze, Jeff taking in a sharp breath and averting his eyes after he noticed what everyone was looking at.

Kurt looked down at himself and shrieked, his hands flying down to cover his horribly-obvious erection, pitching a tent in his gray uniform slacks that he had fallen asleep in. He dashed into the attached bathroom and slammed the door shut, rattling the contents of the room and leaving the boys in a terribly awkward silence.

Thad crossed his arms, the swollen side of his face still slightly scrunched up in pain. "You were getting turned on by your _rape_ dream?" He questioned the boy, loud enough so he could hear it through the wooden door. Blaine smacked the dark-haired boy in the chest, giving him a narrowed-eyed glare, to which Thad rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"N-no," Kurt's soft, slightly trembling voice sounded into the room, muffled by the door, "I-I wasn't… I'm n-not… It wasn't about…that. I just…" He trailed off, sounding broken and hurt. Blaine made a face at Thad again, then approached the bathroom door and leaned close to it.

"Kurt, don't freak out… We all have sex dreams…_all_ the time. Like, really, just last week, Nick had a _wet dream_ and –"

"What the fuck, Jeff! You told them about that?"

"– no one cared…" Still getting no response, Blaine cleared his throat briefly and leaned against the door on his shoulder. "Kurt…?" He sighed, and closed his eyes, pushing his ear against the wooden surface. Inside the bathroom, he heard faint hitching breath, and shuffling noises. "Babe… Can you let me in?" Realizing he was asking to join his aroused boyfriend in a closed space, Blaine shot a look behind him, at the others in the room, only to see their suspicious, slightly questioning looks. He turned back to the door, giving a few light raps against the wood. "Kurt…? Kurt, I'm gonna…" He turned the doorknob and, noticing it was unlocked, cracked it open and peeked inside.

His boyfriend was sitting on the ground, his back facing him, his knees pulled against his chest. He looked like a child, scared or upset. At the sound of the door closing as Blaine entered the room, Kurt subtly turned his head, catching a glimpse of the curly-haired boy as he leaned his back against the counter.

"Blaine, _please_. I'm not…in a," he gestured up and down his body, his eyes drifting to the ceiling as he did so, "_proper condition_ to see you right now…"

Blaine let out a small scoff, regretting it immediately afterwards, seeing the hurt look that fell on Kurt's face. He shuffled down onto the floor and sat beside the small boy, searching his profile as Kurt turned forward as to not face him. "Baby, come on. We're teenage _guys_, this is so normal, I don't know why you're so embarrassed –"

"_I'm not embarrassed_!" Kurt snapped, his head turning violently to look at his boyfriend. "I just… Well, I guess I'm embarrassed… But not because of the…" He rolled his eyes and gestured to his crotch, "_this_. It's just… I was… My dream…" Blaine just watched him, silently urging him to continue, causing Kurt to sigh. "I was dreaming about…_us_," he mumbled, his eyes flicking away from the boy beside him.

Blaine's body stiffened and he could feel heat rushing through his face and neck. Sure, he'd had sex dreams about Kurt, especially since they had become official, but somehow the idea of Kurt dreaming about _him_ was so, _so_ much better. The curly-haired boy leaned into Kurt, resting his chin on the boy's shoulder, his lips mere centimeters from his ear. "Oh yeah? What were we doing?"

The small boy gasped at the whispering, low voice, and flinched away on instinct, but then leaned slightly back towards his boyfriend, his face flushed a deep shade of red. "I – we… We were… You were…" He trailed off, his voice sounding breathy and quiet.

"_Mmm_," Blaine shifted them so Kurt was pressed against the cabinets below the counter, and leaned into him, tilting his head to place soft, open-mouthed kisses on his pale neck.

"You were…_touching_ me… But it wasn't bad…" Kurt panted slightly, tipping his head to allow more of his neck to be available, but Blaine froze.

"It – bad? Were you _expecting_ it to be…bad?" He pulled away from the boy and looked him in the eyes, a slightly worried, confused look taking over his features. Kurt returned with a small, sad smile, and leaned forward to brush a hand against his boyfriend's neck.

"Blaine… I… I've had a hard time thinking of…_sex_ in any kind of…positive way, since... But this… My dream… It was – it was good," he assured the still-hesitant-looking boy. Kurt pulled his head forward and connected their lips, letting out a content sigh.

Blaine smiled into the kiss and moved back down to the milky-white skin of Kurt's collarbone, changing his position so he was kneeling between the small boy's outstretched legs. "So… What was I doing…? How was I," he dragged his hand over the young boy's side, feeling the hot jolt of electricity run through him, "_touching_ you?"

Kurt stuttered out noises in response, and Blaine took it as motive to run his other hand up Kurt's thigh, though stopping before he got too far. "Kurt," he breathed, causing the boy to shiver from the vibrations and hot air against his neck, "is this – is this okay?"

Kurt clamped his eyes shut and nodded feverishly, astounded at how good this was all feeling. When Blaine ran his hand further up, palming Kurt through his uniform pants, he moaned, jerking into the touch, not even having time to even mentally evaluate how he was reacting. It felt amazing, it really did. And it was _Blaine_ who was doing it to him, not the greasy, black-haired, gap-toothed man, or Karofsky, it was _Blaine._ And there was a short moment when his body's nerves remembered the last time he was touched in such a way, when he was molested, and raped, and he wanted it to stop, but the reality of the situation seemed to win.

"Uh – _uh_, Blaine!" He groaned, as his cock was gripped smoothly through his slacks, Blaine's thumb rubbing over the head, causing the muscles in Kurt's legs to constrict as he shifted to straddle Blaine's thighs. The young boy's head fell forward onto his boyfriend's shoulder, causing the curly-haired boy to nip at his ear. "B-Blaine, I'm not gonna – I'm c-close. It – it's been a while," he tried to stutter out, his words muffled from his boyfriend's shirt.

Blaine breathed out a small giggle, causing Kurt's muscles to tense up as the air ran across his skin. "Been neglecting yourself, babe?"

"I-I haven't – I couldn't… Not… Not since the rape," the young boy mumbled out, still completely gone in his boyfriend's touches, bucking up and letting out a shaky breath.

Blaine's steady, stroking hand faltered, but he picked up the movement again, this time with slightly more speed, causing Kurt to jolt in surprise and pant out a breath into his shoulder. "You… You haven't…? Wasn't that almost…a year ago?"

Kurt's eyes shot open and he flinched away from the other boy, drawing his head back from his shoulder so he could see his face. "I – well, yes… It's just… every – every time I t-tried to – to do it, I –"

"Kurt," Blaine interrupted him, pulling by the small of his back and stretching out his own legs beneath him, so the young boy was back where he was, wrapped around Blaine's waist. "I…get it. I know it must've been horrible trying to…touch yourself…after what happened… But, Kurt… I… If you let me, I want to make you feel good… I mean, after all that time…" Blaine ran his hands up and down the small boy's back, and Kurt closed his eyes, nodding.

"It wasn't…weird. When you were…touching me, just now… It felt – it feels _good_. Blaine… Can you…? I mean, if you want to…?"

At this, Blaine grinned, and brought one of his hands down to begin tracing over the bulge in Kurt's pants lightly with his fingers, eliciting a sharp intake of breath from the boy. "Tell me to stop if you want me to."

"Y-yeah," Kurt breathed in response, as his boyfriend picked up his movement and resumed his skilled stroking over his pants.

"Promise?"

"I –" Blaine brought his other hand down to Kurt's ass, squeezing lightly as he stroked. "_Oh_! I – I _promise_. _Nnnng_ – B-Blaine!" Kurt's hand flew up to grip the curly-haired boy's shoulder, his eyes clamping shut. Blaine's eyes ran over his flushed, shaking boyfriend, smiling at the sight of him falling apart, though trying to push aside the thought that he hadn't had an orgasm in ten, or however many, months since his rape. He couldn't imagine being so violated that he couldn't bear to touch himself. "Blaine, _Blaine_, I'm – I'm –"

The curly-haired boy sped up, putting special pressure over the head of Kurt's cock, wishing he could just touch the boy, his hand on the most likely soft skin of his penis, but knowing his boyfriend wasn't ready for that kind of contact, for that kind of intimacy. His thoughts were cut off short when the beautiful boy in front of him tensed, the grip on his shoulder tightening.

"B-Blaine – I – _fuck_!" And he shuddered violently and came, hard, his head falling forward onto his boyfriend's shoulder in an unsteady jolt, his breath hitching and shaky, as his vision clouded in a white, starry blur. Blaine ran his hand along Kurt's length through his pants, riding him through his orgasm, shocking himself at how good it felt to make _Kurt_ feel good. An act of sex had never been so personal before, never so real.

Somewhere in Kurt's mind, as he pulsed through his post-orgasmic state, he realized there was hot, sticky, semen soaking through his underwear and uniform slacks, but so many other, more important things were running through his mental newsfeed. He had, in the last few moments, gotten through his first act of _consensual _intimacy since his attack, his first act of consensual intimacy _ever_, had an orgasm after surviving nearly a year without one, and, in Kurt's teenage boy mind, the most freak-out-worthy, he had just gotten a – sort of – handjob, _from a boy_. He had just climaxed because someone else wanted to touch him, in a real, wholesome, connected way.

Blaine chuckled lowly and softly, planting a couple gentle kisses on his boyfriend's jaw, removing his hands from their positions and bringing them up to Kurt's upper arms and tracing small patterns through his white shirt. "…Was that…? Are… Are you okay, baby?"

Kurt let a smile fall onto his lips, and turned his head so his lips met Blaine's. "I'm… I'm very okay…" He panted, still slightly breathless. Digging his face into his boyfriend's shoulder again, he spoke softly. "Thank you, Blaine," and the curly-haired boy squeezed his arms affectionately.

"Don't thank me," Blaine whispered into the boy's ear, kissing him again on his neck. "It was so _hot_ watching you fall apart under my touch…" He could feel the heat emanating from the boy's face, tucked in his shoulder, and wondered momentarily how often this boy was told he was hot, or beautiful, or any kind of word to mean attractive, because he was all of those things. "Kurt… I'm just glad you…_enjoyed_ it," he lowered his voice seductively, a smirk falling onto his lips.

Kurt drew his face away and scanned the boy in front of him, searching his eyes and form. His eyebrows furrowed together when his gaze shifted to his boyfriend's hips. "B-Blaine… I can…" He trailed off, eyes still focused on the other boy's erection throbbing through his pants. He reached his hand out tentatively, making a move towards Blaine's crotch, but the curly-haired boy seized his hand before it could reach, his eyes shifting up to meet Kurt's.

"No, Kurt. This was for you… _Please_," he smiled, squeezing Kurt's hand in his and tilting his head, gazing at the pale boy fondly, before an amused grin graced his lips. "And… Uh, Kurt, you might want to…" He motioned towards the boy's crotch, where a large, wet stain had seeped through the material, "…clean up, or shower, or something."

Kurt sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes flying down to his pants and a rosy flush creeping up his neck, and onto his face. He sprung up to his feet, off of Blaine, and darted to the shower, jumping in and closing the curtain around himself with his clothes still on. There were a few sounds of ruffling and clothing being removed, random articles being tossed out and landing on the floor, and then it ceased.

"Baby… Are you just gonna sit out there while I shower…?" Kurt's timid voice sounded through the room, muffled by the curtain, echoing slightly from the closed, tiled space.

Blaine cocked his pierced eyebrow and smiled, leaning back on his hands and letting his head fall forward, his humored grin growing slightly at his boyfriend's words. "I think it's sort of fair this way… _You_ saw _me_ naked… Back when I was sick," he pointed out, his voice light and teasing.

Kurt's blushing face appeared, the shower curtain being yanked open. "I-I didn't _look_! We weren't dating then!"

Blaine let out a small laugh, rising to his feet. "_Really_? You didn't look…?"

If possible, Kurt's face flooded with even more color. "N-no! Of course not, Blaine!" But Blaine's face told him that he wasn't convinced, and Kurt mumbled out a string of incoherent, stuttering noises. "I mean, I _looked_, but I didn't…_look_!" Blaine just let out a loud, breathy laugh, and shook his head in amusement. "_Blaine_," Kurt whined, but there was a precious smile on his face, and an obvious look of lightness in his expression, "Just _go_!"

* * *

><p>"Are you <em>fucking<em> _serious_?"

Kurt sighed and held his face in his hands, nodding slowly. "I… I don't even – after we did the invitational, and everything…" He drew his hands away and looked at his roommate and his boyfriend, who both had identical expressions of anger-mixed-with-shock.

"I mean – we're already _in_ the competition… We're gonna have to withdraw if we don't work this out," Blaine mumbled, his voice sounding angry and disappointed.

Thad scoffed and flicked his cigarette butt in the direction of the soda can on his table, missing it entirely and, instead, hitting Kurt's leg, causing him to gasp, offended. He glared at the dark-haired boy, but was cut off when his friend spoke. "We're already, like, fucking ready for it and everything…" He rolled his eyes and reached for the pack of cigarettes lying beside Blaine, but cocking his eyebrow when finding it empty. "Was that your second pack?"

The curly-haired boy grimaced sheepishly. "Uh – yeah…" When both Kurt and Thad looked at him skeptically, he stuttered out defensive noises. "I – it's been a long day! First all the shit with Mr. Goff this morning, and then – then this!" Blaine's eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and he took a long drag of his cigarette, causing his pale boyfriend to frown worriedly and crawl behind him and squeeze his shoulders.

"Blaine, babe, don't worry… We'll figure something out," Kurt rested his chin on the boy's shoulder from behind, bringing his arms to wrap around his chest and closing his eyes, breathing in the smoky air. How had he gone from not standing the smell of smoke to appreciating it and cherishing it? Every time he got a whiff of Blaine's brand of cigarettes, Kurt was engulfed in the warm feeling the curly-haired boy brought with him. That, and his boyfriend's cologne was enough to drive him wild. In fact… Kurt scooted back slightly, hoping his growing arousal hadn't been yet discovered, his face burning.

Blaine felt the slight tensing and shifting of his boyfriend's body, but didn't think much of it, his attention instead focusing on the opening door, where a few people began filtering in. David removed his coat and placed it over the back of Kurt's chair, his eyebrow rising when he took in the upset mood of the room.

"What's…going on?" The dark-skinned boy's eyebrows knotted together when no one immediately responded, and he shared a concerned look with Wes and Nick.

Jeff sat down tentatively on Thad's bed beside him, and eyed the dark-haired boy, still astounded by the eerie, purpling bruise on his face from the week before, finding it hard to believe the large mark had been the result of the pale, slight boy sitting across the room. The blonde then turned his attention to Blaine, who looked angry as he sucked on the tiny remains of his cigarette. "Yeah… You kind of said it was, like, a huge emergency," he paused slightly, but no one said anything, "and we all kind of _rushed_ to get over here… So…"

Wes was about to snap at them for not replying when the door flew open again and a frenzied-looking Trent stumbled in, obviously freshly-showered. His hair was sopping wet and there were spots on his shirt where the water on his skin had seeped through. He took in the room before him and turned to look at Kurt with an expectant look. "Okay, what's up, Dude? Because you texted me, all, like 'oh my god, get over here right now,' and I thought another Thad scenario went down, or something…"

Thad glared at the bigger teen, but was cut off by Blaine before he could say anything. The curly-haired boy let out an annoyed, sarcastic huff, angrily shoving his cigarette butt into the soda can. "What's _up_ is that we can't compete at sectionals," he spoke through his teeth, causing a few other boys to make upset or disbelieving noises.

"That's fucking _bullshit_ –"

"Wait. Shut up, Wes," David cut off his roommate and turned to look at Blaine and Kurt. "Why?"

Kurt looked to his boyfriend, and when he made no sign of responding, he turned to the dark-skinned boy, though his eyes were downcast. The pale boy licked his lips once before responding, sounding defeated. "We, um… We need a…" He trailed off, blinking a few times, trying to find the correct word, "a faculty member leader…of sorts. To be able to leave campus, and compete. And we don't have one."

Nick stared dumbly at the other boy in front of him. "No... No, you said if we did the invitational thing, we'd be a club and get a teacher, or something to do that stuff."

Kurt nodded slowly, then removed himself from behind Blaine and sat beside him, shifting to face the boys better, who had all accumulated on Thad's bed. "Yes. Well… They declined my request to make the Warblers an official club –"

"What the _fuck_!"

"Trent, please," Kurt held his hand up to sternly keep the teen at bay. "…Now. Because we have our _newly-elected_ council members," Kurt gestured to Wes, David, and Thad, "we _really_ don't need anyone to _run_ the club. When a club becomes official, the faculty member assigned to it usually has to be in charge… But we don't need that. We _really_ only need someone to take us to and from competitions…" No one seemed to be quite following where he was going, so he took a deep breath and continued. "_So_, even if we don't have a real, _assigned_ head of the club…if we get someone to be our chaperone, we could still compete as an unofficial group."

Thad huffed and leaned back slightly, crossing his arms over his chest. "And who the fuck would do that for _us_?"

* * *

><p>"But, Ms. <em>Webber<em> –"

"No, absolutely not. I stick my neck out for you boys enough as it is," the woman had a tone of finality in her voice, trying to leave no room for argument, but the Warblers were not giving up so easily.

"We've been practicing _every _Saturday –"

"We hosted that stupid invitational that _no one_ came to –"

"We choreographed _dance moves_."

Silence.

The woman put down her clipboard slowly and removed her glasses, looking at Cameron who had shared the last comment. "Excuse me?"

The short, red-haired boy's eyes widened and he glanced around, unsure of why the teacher had taken such interest in his sentence. "We – dance moves. We choreographed…dance…moves…" Cameron's voice got quieter as the statement went on, and his eyes never left those of the teacher.

Ms. Webber stared at the boy for a few brief seconds, then turned away and made a hum of acknowledgment. "I'm impressed. You boys never danced when the Warblers were a class, did you?" There was collective head-shaking, though it was hesitant.

"Does that…" Trent began, sounding confused. "Does that mean…you'll do it?"

Instead of instantly turning down the idea, as she had done before, the woman considered the teen's statement for a moment, before sighing and focusing on the papers on her clipboard, her head slowly shaking. "I…" Again, the dark-haired woman faced the students, though this time with a look of sympathy and conflict in her face. "Boys," her tone shifted, slightly taking a more careful, empathetic tone, "I want you to all understand that I _fully_ support your group," the Warblers' faces fell subtly at her words, the fact that it was obvious she was leading up to letting them down, "and I think the fact that you all took on such a commitment is – is absolutely wonderful... But, I already look the other way when I _know_ you boys use the abandoned Arts and Music building for your rehearsals… And I'm not sure how far I can go in enabling this technically _non_-permitted activity…"

The boys looked stunned and slightly hurt at their counselor's words. She had always been one to advocate for them, whether it had to do with the harassment from the other students, or switching groups. And although Ms. Webber had the tendency to be on the colder side at times, they hadn't expected her to oppose their efforts.

"But… If you don't lead the group…we won't be able to go to the competition," Wes stated, bitterness and disappointment dripping from his voice.

"I don't know what to tell you, gentlemen. You shouldn't have anticipated the club to be passed before entering the competition. The arts funding _was_ cut after all. They're not going to be so quick to start up a singing club."

"_All_ you have to do," Blaine began slowly, eyeing the teacher, cutting off the disgruntled noises of the other boys, "is take us to the hotel in Sidney on Friday after school…" The curly-haired boy licked his lips, his eyes flicking to his boyfriend, who was sitting next to him, giving him an encouraging look, and back to the teacher. "…And the competition is being held there… So… We'll stay there until it's over…then we come back on Sunday morning."

Ms. Webber leaned back in her chair, her eyes raking over the occupants in the room, all giving her hopeful, pleading looks. She sighed, sounding slightly defeated. "So, we'd be driving the two, or so, hours to Sidney –"

"A bus driver!" Jeff interrupted suddenly, his body straightening up at her response. As the teacher and students gave him somewhat questioning stares, he shrunk back slightly, embarrassed at his own outburst, and clarified. "We, uh – we got a bus driver scheduled… We just need a chaperone…"

The gears turning in the woman's head could be clearly seen, but she interrupted her own thoughts and turned to the boys. "But, you'd need to be excused from campus – and – and papers need to be filled out –"

"We've taken care of it! You just need to sign the part of the form that says 'chaperone' and we're good…" David sounded so optimistic, and there was so much hope in his eyes – all of their eyes, really – that the dark-haired woman couldn't help herself.

"Alright," she breathed finally, causing a chorus of cheers and high-fives to erupt throughout the room. "Now! We still have 25 minutes of group therapy left for today! And I, for one, would appreciate knowing where exactly that bruise on your face came from, Mr. Harwood," she turned to Thad, a slightly curious look on her face as she gazed at the purpling mark on the boy's cheek.

"Kurt's a dick! He hates me and punched me in the fucking face!"

"What the – _Thad_!"

"It's true! I heard them yelling next door to us! And Kurt was threatening him!" Nick chimed in, false seriousness in his voice, trying to hide the teasing smile that was threatening to curl onto his lips.

At this, the pale boy, as well as most of the occupants of the room, broke out into fits of giggles, the mental image of the slight boy trying to intimidate the larger, harsher teen invading their minds. "Oh, screw you guys!" Kurt giggled, giving a playful shove to Wes, who was sitting next to him, and had given him a silly, threatening gesture.

The teacher smiled along with the antics of the boys, but cleared her throat purposefully, gaining the attention of the Warblers. "Now, Mr. Harwood, where did you _actually_ get that bruise on your face?"

"Kurt punched me."

"_Mr. Har_ –"

"No, really, he punched me in his sleep," Thad chuckled with a smirk, his eyes darting to his pale roommate as the boys in the room laughed harder at this.

"Mr. Hummel?" Ms. Webber prompted him, crossing her arms over her chest with an amused smile.

"I – Well, I was dreaming and I, um – I guess I punched him…" The boy's lips twitched down in a slightly embarrassed frown, his cheeks falling to a deep shade of red. Everyone in the room, excluding the teacher and Kurt, burst out laughing, causing the young boy's frown to deepen.

"Y-you! _Kurt _punching – That's – that's the most hilarious thing – I've ever heard!" One of the boys commented, struggling to speak through his laughter, doubling over in his chair.

At this, Kurt stiffened slightly, his embarrassment being replaced by insult. "Why exactly is _me_ punching _Thad_ hilarious?"

The giggles in the room died down slightly at his obvious hurt tone, and Trent, after making eye contact with a few other boys, turned to Kurt, and cleared his throat.

"Dude, just that…you're so… And _punching_ him…" Kurt was still staring at him with a confused, hurt expression. "Bro! You're just kinda girly!" Trent finally blurted out with a laugh, trying to make the statement less offensive, but the way the pale boy tensed and raised his chin haughtily at his words implied he, indeed, had been offended.

"Oh…"

There were a few moments of silence that filled the room, and Ms. Webber decided to leave the conversation to the boys, focusing her attention, instead, on papers she needed to grade, and casual chatter picked up eventually among the students.

Blaine looked at his boyfriend, having a difficult time finding words to comfort him, and sighed. He placed a careful hand on the boy's thigh, initially receiving a jolt of surprise, but Kurt turned to face him, relaxing slightly at realization of what the touch was, and the sight of the curly-haired boy's caring face.

"Baby, you know _I_ don't think you're girly," he mumbled in a whisper, running his hand up and down the boy's leg, affectionately, searching his boyfriend's face and taking in his concerned expression.

Kurt shifted his gaze to meet the other boy's, a tight, fake smile in place as he nodded. "Thanks, Blaine."

* * *

><p>"<em>I wooed thee with my sword<em>!" David threw his head back and spoke in grossly over exaggerated enthusiasm, his Shakespearean accent in place.

His Asian roommate began fanning himself in fake infatuation. "Oh, Theseus! You have wooed me so! Take me now, and have your _wicked_ _way_ with me!"

The guys around them snickered, but David's face fell to a deadpan expression. "Stop fucking me up. At least read the lines if you're gonna talk, Wesley."

"Yeah," Nick piped up and lowered his book from where he was on his bed, doing his Trigonometry, to face the two, "Don't interrupt, Wes. David's performance was beautiful!" The seven other boys in the room laughed at this, and the dark-haired boy blushed intensely at their mocking him, muttering something that sounded like 'it _was_.'

"What's the date today?" Trent asked absently from Jeff's desk, as he scribbled on a piece of paper in front of him.

"December…13th," Kurt mumbled, hardly audible from where he was lying on his stomach, on Jeff's bed, his head resting on his French book, as he was barely awake, facing the foot of the bed.

Blaine shot a quick glance down to his boyfriend, moving so he could properly see his face, as he was sitting up against the headboard working on his own French assignment, and gave a fond, warm smile at the half-asleep boy, whose eyes were drooping and mouth was hanging slightly agape.

"Oh!" Everyone jumped, and Kurt was shaken awake, as Nick exclaimed suddenly, slamming his Math book down and looking incredibly thrilled. "Next month is Birthday Month already!" He gave a quick, excited squirm and went back to facing his work.

"Mmm, 'Birthday Month'?" Kurt wiped his eyes and rolled over onto his back, partially on top of Blaine's legs, and gazed up at his boyfriend's hazel eyes. "Whus that?"

Blaine had to hold back the goofy smile that wanted to fall onto his face at the pale boy's sleepy manner. "Well, basically…" He trailed off, a thoughtful expression falling over his features as he tried to think of a good way to explain the admittedly strange idea the group had adopted.

"It's just that we have a bunch of birthdays in January, and we basically spend the whole month partying," Thad explained with a devilish smirk, eyes trained on the cigarette he was lighting, from his position beside Nick on the boy's bed.

Jeff, sitting on the floor, against his own bed, rolled his head back to see the dark-haired boy's face. "Thad. It's not just about partying. Do you remember our intense, philosophical theory behind Birthday Month?"

Thad scoffed and took a quick puff of his cigarette, passing the open pack down to Jeff. "No. I was probably really drunk."

Jeff considered this, staring off into space as he absently drew a cigarette from the pack, then turned himself around and folded his arms over his bed, facing Kurt and Blaine, but not without shooting a quick look at Thad first. "That's most likely very true… But anyway," he turned to the two boys on his bed, focusing on Kurt, "it's also, like…we figured out that everyone in the group either _has_ a birthday in January, or has someone really close to them that has a birthday in January... Or, at least – I mean – I don't know if it applies to _you_ –"

"No, it does."

"Your birthday's in January?" Blaine sounded slightly surprised, as though he figured he would have known such a fact. But Kurt shook his head slowly, a soft, sad smile tugging up his lips.

"No… No, not mine," Kurt replied in a barely-audible voice, and didn't elaborate any further. Then, after a few beats of silence, the young boy tried to slightly shift the subject. "So… How many of your birthdays are next month?"

"Mine is. And Nick's," Jeff replied easily, speaking for his roommate, and best friend, as he often did.

"And mine," Trent chimed in, still intensely focused on his assignment.

"_And_ mine," Wes added, sighing, sounding mock-bored, but he gave a teasing smile to Kurt, who was looking shocked at the amount of boys in their group that were born in the first month of the year.

"W-wow… I never realized –"

"_And_," Blaine cut in, teasingly haughty, sitting up and crawling over the young boy, so he was hovering over him, "your _gorgeous_ boyfriend's," he finished, speaking in an overly self-centered tone and rolling his eyes. At Kurt's still-surprised face, Blaine dropped his joking façade and grinned, even letting out a low chuckle that shook his body slightly.

"And B's the oldest, too," David added, and Kurt realized the dark-skinned boy _didn't_ have a birthday in January. "He beats Trent by two days."

Kurt smiled shyly up at his curly-haired boyfriend, who was giving him a silly, suggestive look, and reached up to kiss him softly, resting his hand in the boy's hair. "Hmm… I feel so left out," the pale boy smiled, as Blaine rolled over his body to lie beside him.

"I know, right!" David threw his arms up in exasperation. "My birthday's in _May_!"

Kurt giggled at the boy's slight outburst, then turned to his roommate, who had fallen silent for a while, knowing he'd have to prompt the boy if he wanted participation. "Thad? When's your birthday?"

"February 1st," he replied immediately, a harsh tone to his voice, as though they'd been over this before. Kurt seemed slightly taken aback by this attitude, but judging by the faces on those around him, there was more to the story. Without any encouraging, Thad continued. "Theo was born on January 31st."

_Oh._

Kurt felt his own throat tightening up at the mention of the boy's deceased twin. He understood person Thad was close to, who was born in January, was his _twin._ Kurt had heard of twins being born on different dates, but _this_ situation, with Birthday Month, and the recent death, seemed like too much.

Kurt just nodded, and Thad went back to his homework. And nothing else was said about Theo.

"Babe?" Blaine questioned his boyfriend lightly, and Kurt rolled to face him, a curious look on his face. "When's your birthday?"

"August… August 11th," Kurt replied casually, then moved to sit up, closing his French book and lazily making his way to the edge of the bed.

Blaine froze, and blinked a few times at his boyfriend, who was now on his feet, stretching his arms over his head, facing away from him. "Was that…? Wasn't that while you were in jail this year?" At his words, the boys in the room ceased their actions and turned their attention towards the pale boy, who had turned to face them and, after a split-second of looking upset, let a small, half-smile fall onto his face.

"Blaine… It's not like I would have done anything, anyway…" He yawned and stretched his arms out again, then took a couple steps towards the bathroom. "We should probably go to dinner soon," he mumbled absently as he walked into the attached room, closing the door behind himself.

Blaine's face scrunched up in confusion and concern. Sure, he knew all about not properly celebrating birthdays. His family had forgotten his on a couple different occasions. But he usually at least had his friends remember, and to hang out with. But spending it alone…? In _jail…_? After everything he had been through so recently before that?

It hurt to think about.

It hurt to think about Kurt sitting in a dirty, cold, cell, most likely staring blankly around himself, trying to not let it hurt.

* * *

><p>"Jeff!" Kurt squeaked in surprise, chancing a look behind him at the empty classroom he'd just exited before turning his attention to the blonde boy he'd nearly ran into. "W-what are you doing here?"<p>

"I… I had to stay after Chemistry with Mr. Connors. H-he said I did the individual lab thing wrong and, um, I had to fix it."

Kurt, so flustered and on edge from the fact that he had just snuck into an empty classroom to fool around with his boyfriend, almost missed the odd manner and tone in which the other boy was speaking.

Almost.

"Jeff… Are you okay?" He led the blonde away from the classroom door, noticing when he touched Jeff's back to get him to continue walking, the boy flinched back slightly, his muscles tensing, his entirely body screaming that he was alarmed. They walked towards the lounge where they usually all hung out after Wednesday classes, Kurt hoping that he was giving Blaine enough time to sneak out of the classroom in a few minutes.

The blonde boy seemed to be deep in thought, his eyebrows furrowed together and his eyes cast downwards, and Kurt was about to ask the question again, thinking perhaps he hadn't heard it, when Jeff shook his head slightly and faced him. "Uh… Yeah?" He responded in a questioning tone, as though he had no idea what Kurt was referring to, but there was obvious falseness in his voice.

They arrived at the lounge and, as predicted, the five other boys were already splayed out among the furniture and spots on the floor. "Are you sure…? You seem kinda… I don't know…" He ran his eyes up and down the boy's stressed movements, and he was suddenly positive that Jeff had lied about where he'd been.

Nick took notice when Kurt addressed his roommate, immediately scrunching his face up at the appearance of the blonde boy. Something was off.

"_Yes_, Kurt! Fuck! You do this all the time, it's so fucking annoying!" He stormed off to plop into a chair beside David, who merely coughed, trying to hold in a laugh at the boy's outburst.

Kurt was confused. Jeff rarely swore, and his behavior wasn't adding up. Something happened and it wasn't good. Kurt knew that there were guys on campus that would beat people up, and jump them, just because they could, and Jeff was pretty lanky, not too strong or menacing. He would be a particularly easy target for a bunch of testosterone-filled teenagers who needed a violent outlet. But Jeff looked fine, physically, no obvious cuts or bruises. Kurt thought back to Renny, and the others that hung around him… There was definitely a chance he had a run-in with those guys and they had threatened him in some way… Hopefully nothing too serious was happening…

Kurt turned to sit down on the floor beside Trent when he locked eyes with Nick. It was clear to Kurt the second he met the dark-haired boy's gaze that Nick had been thinking all the things Kurt had been. Perhaps they'd talk about it in private some other time. After a few minutes, both boys were brought out of their thoughts as Wes spoke.

"Where's the chips?"

Everyone looked up to who the Asian boy was addressing and saw Blaine sheepishly walk into the lounge, his face red and sweaty, and his uniform slacks suspiciously clean and pressed.

"W-what?"

Wes frowned and put his book down, crossing his arms over his chest. "You said you were gonna go get the chips from your room…? So we could _eat_ them? Fuck, B, I was starving. I was excited about this!"

"I – right. I, um – I went up to my room…to get them…but they're not there. So, yeah – I mean I looked for them, and everything, but…I don't know…" He shrugged and took a seat beside Kurt on the floor and gave the boy a suggestive wink, causing his pale skin to heat up and color a bright pink, though no one seemed to notice.

Wes was going on about how Justin probably ate them, and how they should put a bag of decoy chips up in Blaine's room, that were drugged, or poisoned, to see if he fell for it, but Kurt tuned it out.

He was more focused on the gorgeous boy up against his side, who had placed a warm hand on his knee, and was rubbing small circles with his thumb. The two boys shared a fond, intimate smile, the kind you could only exchange after doing what they had just done.

* * *

><p><em>"Kurt! What are you doing?" Blaine all but shrieked in surprise, but a small, confused smirk fell on his face as his boyfriend began dragging him by the arm away from the direction of the dorms, where he had been heading.<em>

_The pale boy considered this for a moment, his eyes finding the ceiling as he thought, still tugging Blaine along the hallways. He came to a sudden stop, outside a couple empty classrooms and faced the curly-haired boy, an extreme passion in his eyes that wasn't there often enough. "It's a surprise!" And with that, he flung the door open and all but shoved his boyfriend inside, devouring his mouth the second the door clicked behind them. _

_Kurt flipped them around, so he was pushing the other boy against the door, and ran his hands along his body, stopping to rest on the sides of Blaine's ass. _

_The curly-haired boy, still stunned from the intense situation, was just beginning to respond to the kiss when Kurt pulled away. "Wait – no! I like this surprise!" And he made grabby-hands at his boyfriend who was backing away from him._

_Kurt giggled at Blaine's desperation, stepping towards him only to yank on his shirt-front, pulling him closer and sitting him down clumsily in a stray chair. "You like…this?" Kurt approached the touch-hungry boy and placed a chaste kiss on his collarbone, gently pulling away his white uniform shirt to access it. The other boy hummed a needy response, trying to reach out, but barely missing as Kurt stepped behind the chair. "And…this?" Kurt placed his lips against the spot behind Blaine's ear, sucking softly and darting his tongue out to touch the skin, causing a deep moan to sound, low in Blaine's throat._

_"Oh…shit, Kurt,"_

_With that, the pale boy came around the front of the chair and flung one leg over Blaine, straddling his hips and pressing down onto the boy's hard cock, causing him to whimper quietly. Kurt was about to lunge towards his boyfriend's neck when he felt a soft push against his chest. He pulled back to see Blaine giving him a careful look._

_"Babe, you don't have to do any of this if you don't want to…" _

_But Kurt's face just shifted into an evil smirk and he bent over to be near the boy's ear. "Wanna know a secret…?" Without an answer, he pressed his lips against the soft skin on Blaine's neck, and sucked hard, causing the boy to shiver slightly. "I…had a dirty dream about you last night. And I've been wanting to do this," he pushed himself down onto his boyfriend, grinding his ass into his cock roughly, "…all…day…" _

_Not needing to be told twice, Blaine let out a breathy moan and lunged forward, capturing the young boy's lips with his own, and thrusting up against him. Kurt was surprised at how good that kind of touch was. The only time he'd ever had sexual stimulation that involved his, well, rear end, had been when he was raped, and that hadn't felt pleasant at all. He didn't know that something that didn't involve his penis could be so arousing._

_Even with his body reacting in a positive way, there was still a sore part of his mind that panicked when he got touched sexually. He had to remind himself that this all was okay, that these were good touches, that he wanted this._

_Because he did. And it felt so damn good._

_The two boys found a steady rhythm, grinding against each other and exchanging steamy kisses. Blaine's body tensed up slightly and he clutched onto his boyfriend's ass, squeezing slightly and speeding up the pace. _

_"I – Kurt. I-I'm gonna – I –" But the pale boy just latched onto his neck and pushed down harder, creating more friction through their slacks. Blaine was so, so close and –_

_The curly-haired boy's entire body jolted and shook, as he came hot and hard into his pants, letting out a noise that could have been a groan, or a moaning attempt at his boyfriend's name, feeling his throbbing cock pressing against Kurt's ass as he rode through his orgasm. Blaine let out a shaky, unsteady breath, his head falling back and exposing the long stretch of throat, now adorned with two dark hickeys. _

_After a few seconds, Blaine's head shot up as his boyfriend began shifting to move himself off of him, and he pulled him back down, his hand instinctively reaching to palm the boy's still-hard penis through his pants. "Baby, I –"_

_But Kurt swatted his hand away, his devilish smile perfectly in place. "I don't think so, Mr. Anderson," he laughed, bringing himself to a standing position, trying to calm down from his arousal. He leaned down and placed his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, his mouth centimeters from his ear. "Now we're even," he whispered lewdly, then pulled away and examined the large wet spot on his boyfriend's pants. "Oh, and Blaine, you might want to clean up, or shower, or something," he said in a condescending tone, using Blaine's words from earlier back on him, a smirk gracing his delicate features. _

_After quickly fixing his hair and making sure he had no inappropriate bodily fluids on his pants from grinding Blaine, Kurt slipped out of the room, leaving his boyfriend in a satisfied, shocked state._

* * *

><p>"Don't say shit."<p>

Kurt cleared his throat, placing his fist in front of his mouth to hide the laughter. He coughed and looked up at his roommate, giving him an overly-innocent face. "What? Thad –"

"Don't…say _shit_," he repeated, tugging his uniform pants back on, his eyes closed as he avoided Kurt's gaze.

"I'm not saying anything."

Thad turned around to face the boy, opening his eyes only to narrow them at his roommate, who was obviously still trying to hide his amusement. Thad yanked his shoes on, which had been removed for a random strip 'n' search, tying the laces rougher than necessary, and eyed Kurt. "Well, you're not allowed to…" he made a gesture with his hands, indicating Kurt's face, "give me that _look_, either."

"What _look_? I'm just –"

"Your _judging_ face. That's your _judging_ face."

"I'm not judging you, Thad. _Please_," Kurt rolled his eyes, and Thad seemed to be somewhat satisfied as he picked up his white oxford and tie from the floor. "Just because you got turned on by a dog –"

"Fuck! I didn't get turned on by the damn dog!" Kurt lost it and surrendered to his laughter, unable to hold himself back any longer. "I just – it was rubbing its nose all up in my junk and I _really_ need to get laid!" But Kurt couldn't compose himself, still doubling over in hysterics over the awkward erection-causing experience. "I'm not, like, into beastiality or some shit… And you know, you are _so_ not in a position to talk about weird boners. Not after last week when you popped a hard-on in front of everyone and punched me in the face."

Kurt calmed down slightly at this, and rolled his eyes, about to make a snide remark, when something caught his attention as Thad was pulling his shirt on. "When did you get _that_?"

"What?"

"_That._ Your tattoo… Have you always had that?"

Thad craned his neck to glance at the small, simple tattoo on his left shoulder blade. A thin, black outline of the word 'ενότητα.' "Yep," and he pulled his white shirt on, turning around to face Kurt, "I was _born_ with it."

The pale boy rolled his eyes. "_Ha. Ha. _Really, though… How did I not notice that?"

Thad shrugged. "Me and Trent both have them... We got them freshman year…" Kurt gave his roommate a look of disbelief, and his eyes were directed at him in such a way that practically said, 'go on.' "I – we… We got them after this whole…_thing_. It's really a long story, to be honest. Maybe some other time, Kurt," Thad decided, shrugging on his blazer and slinging his tie over his neck, beginning to tie it.

Kurt still gazed idly at the spot on his roommate's shoulder where he knew the ink was, slightly mesmerized by the idea of the tattoo.

Thad seemed to notice, smirking slightly and blinking a few times thoughtfully, remembering back to the day he got it. "It means _unity_," Thad said abruptly, his voice obviously trying to sound casual, "in Greek."

"…Why _Greek_?"

"Another time, roomie… Another time…" And as he was trailing off, a smile in place, Thad's face suddenly lit up, the gears in his head turning.

"What?" Kurt prompted him, seeing the odd expression that took over his roommate's features. At his inquiring, Thad's eyebrows shot up, and his eyes darted around the room, seemingly trying to form words.

"I – nothing. Nothing, I gotta… Nothing."

Kurt raised an eyebrow questioningly at this behavior, but said nothing, instead turning away to pull out a small collection of sheet music from his bedside drawer, absently rifling through it. "What_eeever_ you say, Thaddeus."

* * *

><p>"…Is he…okay?"<p>

Blaine glanced up at the three boys entering his room and nodded gently, not wanting to wake up the sleeping Warbler. Trent, David and Thad began removing their coats and scarves, and took careful, quiet seats on Justin's bed, still giving the slumbering boy questioning looks.

Noticing this, Blaine sighed, craning his neck away from himself to look at Kurt. His arms were hanging uselessly around Blaine's shoulders, and his face was mostly buried in the curly-haired boy's neck. Blaine held Kurt's back, cradling him closer where he was sitting in his lap, and tilted his head, pulling away to be able to scan his boyfriend's peaceful face.

"Yeah… He… He's just…really exhausted," Blaine told them in a half-whisper, eyes flickering to the sleeping boy to check if he had been disturbed by the talking, but found him entirely asleep.

"Well, _yeah_. I mean, he doesn't really sleep," Thad commented with a raised eyebrow, lighting a cigarette and laying back, supporting himself on his elbows and looking at Blaine's boyfriend. "I mean… I guess sometimes he does, but most of the time, he hardly _ever_ sleeps... Like, seriously, I don't think I've seen him asleep since that whole sex dream thing… At least, not for more than a few minutes here and there."

Blaine swallowed audibly and drew his lips together in a tight line, nodding his head, a pained expression on his face. "I know," he mumbled, running a soft hand over Kurt's warm back, which was rising and falling with slow, even breaths. "So, what's up?"

David began digging out a cigarette for himself and shrugged lightly, bringing his eyes up to meet Blaine's. "Um… We were gonna see if you guys wanted to go smoke that joint I got last weekend." Blaine simply cocked his pierced eyebrow, tilting his head slightly.

"Because we're leaving tomorrow and everything... We thought it be good to have a little fun," Trent added.

"_All_ the Warblers, or…?"

"Nah, just us," Trent replied, but then remembered the fatigued boy sleeping on Blaine. "But if Kurt's, like, whatever, it's fine… We were just seeing if you guys wanted to."

Blaine sighed heavily and glanced to the boy in his arms. "Well… To be honest, he's probably gonna wake up soon… I doubt he would get high, but if he did, he'd probably be able to sleep better… It'd be good for him, you know, before the competition."

The other boys all nodded slightly, eyes still fixed on Blaine's exhausted boyfriend, breathing loudly in his sleep.

Thad suddenly perked up, his eyes bright with a thought. "You guys, I was thinking, we could do something for Kurt's birthday –"

"Didn't we already talk about this?" Trent cut in with a raised eyebrow, referring to the conversation they'd had the day before about the pale boy's missed celebration.

"Trent – I swear to fucking God – don't interrupt me. It pisses me the fuck off… _Now_, as I was _saying_, I thought of something, specifically, we could do for him..." Blaine checked the sleeping boy one more time before nodding to Thad to continue. "We could do a TP birthday."

All the boys looked at him skeptically for a few moments before David spoke up. "What even is that? _TP_…? Like…?" He trailed off, making motions with his hands as though he was throwing rolls of toilet paper.

Thad scoffed and rolled his eyes. "No. It stands for _tattoo_ and _piercing_," he said with attitude, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. When no one responded to this, he sighed. "Basically, we all get either a tattoo or piercing of his choice, but he has to get one, too."

Trent let out a sarcastic laugh. "Are you shitting me? Why would we do that? Why would _anyone_ do that?"

"Well, it's usually for drunk guys on their 21st birthdays... But I think it'd be fun… Besides, it's not like he's gonna pick something really fucked-up, or weird. He'd probably actually think of really cool ideas for tattoos… And pick pretty basic piercings. I mean, it's _Kurt_, after all. He's not a dick."

"Whubout Kurt?" The boy in question mumbled against Blaine's neck, causing everyone in the room to freeze. He pulled away from his boyfriend, his eyes hardly open, and looked at the curly-haired boy groggily, giving him a half-smile. "Is – is that the same thing with the…lolli… With the lollipops?" Realizing quickly that the boy was still in a mostly-asleep state, the Warblers in the room relaxed, though were still hoping he hadn't heard their plans.

Blaine, eyebrow raised, gave his boyfriend a questioning look. "I – um, yes… Of course it is… Do you…want a lollipop, babe?"

Kurt giggled tiredly at this, scanning over the curly-haired boy's face and body before reattaching himself with Blaine's neck, though this time trailing long, slow kisses along his jaw. "I want…_your_ lollipop…_babe_," he said against the other boy's skin, who was having a hard time convincing himself to detach his boyfriend after a comment as incredibly evocative as that, especially as it suggested some kind of involvement of his penis.

"Kurt – _mmm_ – _Kurt_, the guys are in here," Blaine said, finally getting the pale boy to pull away, now blushed bright red. Kurt turned slowly to face the others, an awkward, embarrassed smile in place.

"Oh," he breathed out after a while, when no one had said anything. "Um… What's…going on? Were we gonna…study or something?"

David shared an amused look with Thad, who shrugged in a 'go ahead' fashion, and the dark-skinned boy dug through his jacket pocket before pulling out a small, clear plastic bag, a fairly-sized rolled joint inside of it, a sheepish smile falling over his lips. "Wanna blaze?"

* * *

><p>"Whoa," Jeff raised an eyebrow, a slightly amused expression taking over his features as he stripped off his coat. "<em>Kurt<em>'s getting high?" He made eye contact with Nick, who simply smiled and shrugged, sitting down in the circle already forming in the center of the Arts Building, watching as Blaine was trying to help the pale boy with lighting the joint. "This is an _occasion_. Sign me up for some of that," he giggled, completing the circle of eight boys.

"_You're _gonna burn? Jeffery! How naughty!" Nick teased his blonde roommate, earning a few laughs from the others.

Kurt glanced up from the stick he was so carefully trying to take the first hit of to look at the two boys. "Do… Do you guys all smoke…pot, then?" He eyed Trent and Nick especially, knowing the boys' opposition to cigarettes.

"Jeff doesn't usually, because he gets _really_ high…_really_ easily… But sometimes the peer pressure is just too much for young Jeffery, here," Nick shook his head sadly, mock-concerned, initiating a playful shove from the blonde.

"You guys smoke…this? But you don't smoke cigarettes?" Kurt directed the question at the anti-tobacco advocates.

"At least smoking _this_ shit has a purpose," Trent rolled his eyes, looking at the four smokers in the group, who just shrugged.

"Anyway," Wes sighed suddenly, an impatient tone to his voice, directing his attention to Kurt, "can we just light this shit up?"

Kurt held the joint up to his lips, his eyes not leaving his boyfriend, who was giving him an especially fond smile as he helped the boy light it. "Take a hit… Take a _small_ hit."

Kurt did as he was told and choked out a small puff of smoke, and began to cough violently. "Oh," cough, "_mygod_," cough.

Blaine, along with the others in the group, laughed lightly at this, and Trent passed Blaine a bottle of water, who unscrewed it and handed it to his boyfriend, first taking the joint from him and passing it to David, who was on the boy's other side. "Here," the curly-haired boy laughed, helping Kurt tip the water into his mouth, and scanning his now-red face. "You okay?" He ran a hand up and down his back as his coughing began to subside, still trying not to laugh too hard at his boyfriend's discomfort.

Kurt nodded, still fighting through his cough, as David took a long hit, keeping the smoke in for a few moments before blowing it out smoothly, not a single cough escaping his mouth. The pale boy raised an eyebrow at this, trying to remember his reasoning for agreeing to try smoking for the first time, especially with a group of smokers, but said nothing as he felt a small high begin to take over him.

The joint was passed around, and it was given to Blaine, who pinched it between his fingers and took a smooth hit, blowing out the smoke in terribly-formed rings, earning a few giggles. He passed it to his boyfriend, who narrowed his eyes, taking it cautiously, and sucking in the smoke, though this time taking a slightly longer, deeper hit. As he opened his mouth to release the smoke, he let out a single cough, and handed the joint to David, who eyed him critically.

"Feeling it?" David asked him, then brought the stick to his lips, taking a puff and passing it along.

"I…don't know," Kurt admitted, but found his lips curling into a particularly wide smile, causing his boyfriend next to him to chuckle.

"Here…" Blaine pulled him closer, resting his arms around the pale boy's neck and making lazy eye contact with him. Kurt could already see the whites of his boyfriend's eyes turning slightly bloodshot and wondered briefly what _his_ eyes looked like, but was suddenly brought into a deep kiss.

He noticed it felt different. Good. But different.

He could feel everything _more_ and his senses were…heightened? Whatever it was, it was nice…and…different.

"_Mmm_," Kurt hummed, leaning further forward to try to follow Blaine's lips as he pulled away from the kiss. The young boy opened his eyes when he missed the contact, to see his boyfriend's face very tired-looking and his crooked half-smile perfectly in place. "What?"

"You're…" The curly-haired boy chuckled, low in his throat, his eyes seemingly struggling to stay open. "You're definitely feeling it."

Kurt wasn't exactly sure what Blaine meant by that, but either way, all of a sudden, the very idea of _him_, _Kurt Hummel_, smoking _marijuana_, made him want to laugh. So he did. He giggled. A lot.

Wes, who currently had the joint, watched the young Warbler in his laughing fit, making eye contact with Thad as he blew out the smoke through a grin.

"Cute," Thad breathed flatly, taking the drugs from the Asian boy and sucking in the smoke. "Watch out, roomie... B gets dumb when he's high. And horny," he passed the joint along, "which isn't even a thing. A horny stoner? But he does."

The pale boy simply continued giggling, eyeing his boyfriend with a mischievous smile and tilting his head to the side. "_I_ feel pretty dumb…"

"No… More…_giggly_…" Jeff observed insightfully, his eyes narrowing as he watched Kurt. The blonde didn't break his eye contact as he took two hits in a row and handed it to Trent, who eyed the blonde skeptically.

"Watch yourself, bro," he mumbled, taking his own hit. Jeff nodded absently, still focusing intently on Kurt, a now slightly confused, pained expression taking over his features.

"Right… No, I'm done… I've had enough."

The eight Warblers, after completely finishing off their joint, began to devour the small stash of snacks they had stocked the Arts Building with. Kurt was so busy shoveling endless amounts of Cheez-It's into his mouth that he didn't notice the other boys had stopped eating and were now attentively watching him.

"Shit, Kurt," Wes finally spoke, an almost disgusted, yet impressed tone to his voice, causing the young boy to stop dead in his tracks. "You just ate, like, 14 doughnuts and drank two cans of soda… I think this is more than I've ever seen you eat…like… cumulatively," he snickered, and the other Warblers joined him, aside from Kurt, who tried to form a smile, but ended up looking hurt.

The pale boy put down the box of crackers and wiped his mouth, looking embarrassed. "Yeah… Well… _Munchies_…right…? I, um – I'm just gonna go to the bathroom…"

When the boy left the room, Thad got the attention of the THC-induced Warblers and let them in on his tattoo/piercing plan. They figured that while they were off school grounds, they'd be able to find a tattoo parlor and go through with their idea, as long as Kurt wanted to go along with it.

"You really think _Kurt_'s gonna get a tattoo…? Or piercing?" Wes asked, sounding skeptical.

Blaine and Thad exchanged a quick glance, both of them shrugging slightly. "Well," Blaine began, his face and movements still sluggish from the high, "he already has a piercing… So… I mean – I think he'd be into it because he'd get to pick out stuff for us. I… Yeah… It'll be great," the curly-haired boy decided, nodding to himself, the others in the room seeming to agree.

* * *

><p>"No way," Santana shook her head, her arms crossed over her chest. "Hummel would have told us. This is bullshit."<p>

"Maybe it's a different Dalton Reform School for Boys," Brittany suggested, giving a sympathetic look to Santana, who just glanced at her and sighed, rolling her eyes.

"I just talked to him…two days ago. This is _so_ not cool," Finn sounded a mix between hurt and annoyed, the list in his hand crumpling as he held it tighter.

"Guys! I just got an updated, accurate list for our competition – oh. Did you guys get a copy?" Mr. Schuester entered the greenroom and noticed the upset looks the members of New Directions were wearing as they crowded around a piece of paper Finn was holding. "What's wrong?"

"Mr. Schue! Kurt's reaffirm school is our other competition!" Finn's voice had crossed the line to entirely annoyed, even slightly aggravated.

Mr. Schue nodded slowly, licking his lips slightly before talking. "I – I know. They entered the competition late… That's why they weren't able to provide us an updated list…"

"First of all, Finn, it's _reform_ school," Rachel stepped forward, addressing the tall teen. "And secondly… I can't believe he didn't tell us…" Her voice got quieter and it wasn't clear whether she was talking to the group or mostly to herself.

"Maybe he didn't know?" Tina offered hesitantly, her voice questioning. "I mean, he probably doesn't even know about their Glee club. Or maybe he thought we knew."

"But, if they didn't confirm their spot in the competition until a few days ago, obviously we wouldn't know about them…" Artie pointed out logically, causing Tina and a few others to nod sadly.

* * *

><p>"Here."<p>

"Liam?"

"Here."

"David?"

"Oh _no_! He's gone!"

"_What_?" Wes yelped, snapping his head up and beginning to scan the boys in front of him frantically, before finding the dark-skinned boy standing right in front of him, being the one who had said the comment, giving him a deadpan expression. Wes's face fell to an annoyed glare. "Shit, David!"

"For fuck's sake, Wes. You've taken attendance eight times already. We're not _going_ anywhere."

Wes quickly ran his eyes over the group of boys, secretly trying to tell if any of them were missing, as well as doing a head-count. He reluctantly nodded and sighed, placing his clipboard in his backpack. "Fine…" He mumbled grudgingly, looking down at his watch. "We have a while before we need to warm up. So everyone can just relax back here, I guess…" A woman sporting a headset walked into the greenroom and began collecting a few pieces of paper that were scattered on a table.

"Can we smoke back here?" Jeff questioned Wes, beginning to draw a cigarette from his pack, regardless.

"No smoking in the building. You need to go outside," the woman informed them sternly, before leaving the room in a rush. Jeff made a face at her retreating back, beginning to search the ceiling discreetly for smoke detectors.

"You heard the woman!" David clapped Jeff on the shoulder, surprising him out of his slightly annoyed state. "We have to go outside!" With that, the Warblers who smoked, which happened to be only Jeff, David, Blaine, and Thad, as well as the four other boys who hung out with them, began making their way towards the door.

"Not so fast, gentlemen," Ms. Webber sounded from the other side of the room, where she was sitting with a stack of papers. She scribbled something quickly and stood up, sighing. "I'll be chaperoning your leaving the authorized building."

The boys made brief eye contact with each other and shrugged, leaving the room and heading towards the door that lead to the outside, this time accompanied by their teacher.

* * *

><p>"That was them!" Puck sounded both surprised and angry, his finger pointing accusingly at the door near the back, visible from where the members of the New Directions were waiting for their rehearsal time backstage.<p>

"What?" Mike sounded confused, looking in the direction the mohawked teen was pointing, but finding nothing.

"The Dalton kids. I saw some of them walk out that door... They have those snooty-ass uniforms," Puck sneered, making a face in the direction he saw the students. "Whoa, whoa what are you doing?"

Rachel was striding firmly towards the door, a determined look on her face. "I just want to evaluate our competition. They knew ahead of time that they were competing against us, and I'm just evening out the playing field," she breathed out haughtily, raising her chin up and striding out the door. She was soon followed by the rest of the Glee club, who all rolled their eyes and went after the brunette diva.

As soon as they stepped out the door, the group froze. There were eight boys, four of them smoking – _smoking!_ – cigarettes, all casually leaning or sitting against the wall of the building, clad in their navy uniforms and heavy coats to shield them from the winter weather, not seeming to be bothered by the fact that their slacks would get damp from the light scattering of snow that covered the ground. There was a woman standing a few yards away, her dark hair cut in a bob, talking away on her cell phone, facing away from the group.

And there was Kurt.

There was Kurt, sitting against the wall, in between the legs of a curly-haired boy, who was resting his chin on Kurt's shoulder from behind, and the hand that wasn't holding a cigarette was wrapped around their dear, countertenor's stomach, seemingly some kind of attempt to keep the small boy warm, for he had his arms curled around himself, looking cold. For a few moments, the New Directions just stood in shock, not noticed by the group of uniform-clad boys, who were a few good yards away from the doorway they were standing in.

The pale boy suddenly froze in mid-laugh, having been giggling at something the curly-haired boy – his boyfriend? – had said to him, now catching sight of the members of his old Glee club, his face paling and scrunching up in confusion. He instantly threw on a fake smile and mumbled something to the boy he was sitting against, both of them coming to their feet, the boy holding the cigarette dropping it to the ground and stomping it out.

He then gave a last, fond look at Kurt and walked past the group, back inside to the backstage area, and Kurt approached the New Directions cautiously, glancing behind himself nervously at the group of Warblers before facing his old friends.

"Hi, you guys…" He spoke sheepishly, looking immediately guilty and embarrassed, making special effort to not meet any of their eyes.

"…Boy, _what_ the hell?" Mercedes.

_Oh God… What have I done…?_

Kurt looked up slowly, meeting making eye contact with her for a split second before averting her gaze again. "Listen, you guys… We didn't even know we were definitely competing u-until a few _days_ ago, and –"

"You didn't even tell us you were in a new _Glee club_, Kurt…"

The pale boy turned towards the group of people, seeing their matching outfits, their close proximity to each other, the new member – the one who had replaced him – and everything he used to be a part of. He shifted his gaze towards the diva, his face changing from a guilty look to a frustrated one. "So… You're _upset…_because I didn't tell you something that was going on…in my _life_?" The group's upset energy dropped slightly as Kurt's voice rose in anger. The Warblers began to take notice of the situation, exchanging a few concerned glances. "I _believe_ you lost that privilege when you completely _ignored my existence_ for five months!" He searched the faces in front of him, seeing them all having varying expressions of hurt or shock.

"Babe?" Kurt took in a sharp breath, not even having noticed Blaine stepping up to his side, holding out a bottle. When the pale boy didn't react to it, just staring blankly at the offered beverage, Blaine's eyes flickered to the New Directions, and back to Kurt, seeing his troubled expression and watering eyes. He placed a hand on the small of the boy's back, leading him back to sit down. "Baby, here. I got your water. Let's sit down for a few more minutes…" He shot an irritated look back at the McKinley kids, not knowing the situation, but angry at them for hurting his boyfriend.

* * *

><p>Kurt clamped his eyes shut, his breathing heavy as he felt his body tense again, gagging into the toilet, mostly water and stomach acid falling into the bowl. He thought for a moment that he was done vomiting, but suddenly, he choked again, coughing and spitting bile from his mouth, sighing as waited to see if his body would calm down. He took a deep breath and rolled back onto his heels, looking down at his stomach, furrowing his eyebrows at the offensive organ.<p>

_Why does this keep happening…?_

Just as he was about to stand up, his stomach turned again, and he lunged forward, hardly making the toilet as another round of watery content dribbled from his lips, surprising him to the point of him beginning to choke violently.

"…Kurt?"

The pale boy mouthed a curse and spit into the bowl, flushing the bile. He came to his feet and began wiping his mouth with toilet paper, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to think of something to say in reply.

"Kurt? Is that you? Are you okay…?"

It was David.

Kurt heard the dark-skinned boy shuffle around the ground slightly, then could hear the noise of his urine splashing into the urinal. He carefully stepped outside of the bathroom stall and the boy relieving himself finished up and turned to look at Kurt, his eyebrow instantly quirking in suspicion.

"Kurt… Were you throwing up?"

The pale – paler than usual – boy smiled weakly and nodded, making his way to the sink to rinse out his mouth. David stepped up behind him and watched his actions through the mirror. Kurt made eye contact with him as he dried his face off, after splashing cool water on himself.

"Are you sick…? _Still_?"

Kurt broke eye contact and sighed. He had been caught vomiting the week before by Thad, and had told his group of friends that he was feeling ill. It wasn't a lie. He _was_ feeling _some_ kind of ill that day… These months since the attack… Just perhaps not the flu…

"I… I think I'm nervous," Kurt mumbled randomly, hoping his uncertainty sounded like actual anxiety. Fortunately, the dark-skinned boy smiled understandingly and patted the young boy on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, Kurt. We sound fucking awesome… It's gonna be fine," he assured the other boy with a warm smile, jerking his head in the direction of the door to imply they exit. Kurt nodded and smiled tightly, following him out of the door and actually beginning to get the stir of emotions and nerves in the deep pit of his stomach.

* * *

><p>"Jeff?"<p>

The blonde snapped back into reality, a small smile curling on his lips, though it didn't seem to reach his eyes.

"Sorry… I was…spacing out," he muttered with a humorless laugh, shrugging lightly and going back to straightening his tie, his eyebrows furrowing together.

Nick stared at his roommate's odd behavior, seeing everyone else leaving the greenroom from the corner of his eye, only moments left before they needed to be in position, about to perform. "Are you okay, man?"

Jeff froze for a moment, but then finished his task, smoothing out his entire uniform before turning to face the dark-haired boy. "Of course. I'm nervous as hell, but I'm fine. Let's go… Come on."

The Warblers lined up in their positions on stage, all taking deep, even breaths as they heard the announcers call their school's name, followed by a non-shockingly pathetic amount of applause.

They _were_ a reform school, after all.

"We're actually doing this. We're competing. We're singing… _I'm_ singing," Kurt whispered, mostly to himself, his eyes having taken the shape of giant orbs, almost popping out of his head as the curtain began to ruffle, starting to rise.

"Fuck yeah, you are. And you're gonna do amazing," Kurt's eyes flickered to his left, where, in the dark, he had heard the voice come from. As the curtain rose, flooding the boys in light, Kurt couldn't mistake the curly-haired boy he knew so well giving him a small wink, accompanied by an honest smile.

And he _did_ sing. And he _did_ do amazing.

…And they _tied._

* * *

><p>"Hey, man! Guess we get to see you at Regionals!"<p>

Kurt hardly had time to look up, from where he was backstage, basking in his after-performance high and glory, before a blur of color came crashing at him, and before he knew it, _someone_'s arms were wrapped around him in a tight hug. He was about to scream, or grunt, or squirm, but instead –

"Get the _fuck_ off him!" And then he was released, still completely confused until seeing Puck, stumbling back from him, the New Directions all in a group, and Trent giving the mohawked teen an aggressive look, before lunging toward him and socking him in the jaw.

"What the _fuck_!"

And then Sam and Puck flew at the Warbler, shoving him away and, somehow, a punch was thrown and ended up landing on Wes's cheek, resulting in the smaller Asian boy to tumble backwards, landing on his rear end. At this, Kurt flew in between the two groups, hoping to the Lord he didn't believe in that he didn't get punched.

"Guys! Please! They're just used to me getting hurt… They're just protective," he directed at the members of his old Glee club, not noticing how their faces fell slightly at Kurt's unintentional implication that _they_ _hadn't_ protected him.

"How the _fuck_ did _I_ end up getting punched?" Wes growled from the floor, where he still sat, a hand placed over his cheek, his eyes narrowed at the group of rival Glee members.

As Sam, who looked oddly guilty, opened his mouth to respond, Kurt snapped his head towards the blonde boy, as well as Puck and the others, who had subtly stepped back away from the group, his bitch-face in place and his hand raised up to stop him.

"Okay, and _also_, " he started, his hands flying to his hips, "_you_ don't get to hug me – you," he turned to Puck, a confused look on his face, then scanned the rest of the New Directions, "or – or whoever did that! I'm still mad at you guys… And you know what? Here's. The. Bottom. Line… I _killed_ someone," Kurt spoke slowly, pronouncing each syllable carefully, his eyes narrowing, trying to ignore the few odd glances he got from the passing staff members, as well as a few performers from the third group. "I got raped, and I went crazy, and I killed someone. And now I'm at a reform school. And that's how it is. At first, you guys all completely pretended I wasn't alive. And now, you're trying to come back into my life, like nothing happened…? With nothing more than a couple awkward acknowledges of those past – five, six? – months? No."

And with that, the pale boy stalked away, feeling proud of himself that the tears in his eyes decided not to fall until he was facing away from his old friends.

"Kurt – wait! We didn't mean it like that –"

"_No_. I don't give a fuck!" He knew that would get them. He _never_ swore in front of that group before. Kurt's mind was spinning, his thoughts completely jumbled around and chaotic as he stormed out of the back door, where he knew his boyfriend and Thad were taking another smoke break.

The curly-haired boy glanced up, smiling at the sight of the pale boy. His initial grin dropped instantly as he saw the tear tracks on his boyfriend's pale cheeks, his delicate face blotchy and red. "Kurt –?"

But he was cut off when said boy fell into his arms, his face scrunching up in hurt, his crying staying calm and silent, but his breathing heavy and shaky, visible puffs in the chill air. "I-I wanna leave… I want to get out of here… I _want_ to go back to _Dalton_…" He spoke into Blaine's chest, curling his arms around the boy's back, speaking in a tone that suggested his utter surprise at his own last comment.

Blaine, still mostly confused at the situation, looked over his boyfriend's head at Thad, who merely nodded, raising his eyebrows. The curly-haired boy ran a hand along Kurt's neck, resting his chin on the boy's head. "I have a better idea…"

* * *

><p>"<em>Ow – ow – ow – ow<em>!" Kurt whined, but there was sheer laughter in his eyes. "I can't believe I did this! _Ow_!"

The group of boys all snickered, making their way quietly back into the hotel room the eight of them shared, attempting – and failing – to be discreet.

"To be honest," Thad whispered, an amused and somewhat impressed smile on his face, as they closed the door behind themselves, "neither can I."

Kurt laughed, then cringed in pain, bringing his hand up to his mouth, then laughed again, simply at the idea of the situation.

Kurt Hummel got his tongue pierced. His tongue. Pierced.

The pale boy scanned the room in front of him, taking in all the boys, exchanging their new rebellious body modifications. He realized quickly how lucky he was. How absolutely entirely lucky he was. He reviewed the important, permanent decisions he'd made for his friends, and relished in the idea that they trusted him enough to give him that power. And go through with it.

Jeff got a small ring on his lip, on his left side, which Kurt argued went along perfectly with the blonde boy's sheepish grin.

Kurt chose a perfectly ironic tattoo for his dear friend Nick. The dark-haired boy ended up with a simple barcode design, tastefully placed on his ankle, and Kurt insisted that _he_ could now be bought, though Nick would forever fight for his life that Kurt was the one who was a prostitute.

Thad would deny it for the rest of his life, but every other boy in the room, as well as the tattoo artist, would attest to the fact that the boy started to tear up when Kurt told him he chose the symbol for 'twin,' more commonly known as the symbol for Gemini, in honor of his recently-deceased brother, to be forever inked on his right wrist.

Kurt decided David, already having two tattoos, deserved a piercing, and felt that his face was symmetrical enough to pull off a labret, simply a small stud, and that it would complement the boy's large, enthusiastic smile.

Wes commented, immediately upon entering the tattoo parlor, how he felt Chinese lettering tattoos were completely cliché and overdone, prompting obvious reason for Kurt to choose such a mark. He, along with encouragement from the other boys, ended up picking the two, small Chinese symbols for 'irony' to be inked onto the boy's ass cheek.

Trent informed Kurt that he wanted something done on his chest, assuming for some reason that the pale boy would pick a tattoo. When Kurt acknowledged this request, the bigger teen removed his shirt, only to have Kurt inform the piercing specialist to give him a nipple ring.

"Fuck you guys! At least you don't have something on your _ass_!" Wes shrieked from one of the two beds, where he lay on his stomach with a small bag of ice pressed firmly against his left ass cheek, wincing in pain. The boys all howled in laughter, and Kurt was brought out of his daydreaming by the Asian boy's outburst.

He once again raked his eyes over the occupants of the room, this time falling over a particularly curly-haired boy, who he just happened to be romantically involved with.

Blaine.

_"Oh my fucking – Kurt! That was – that was the best thing I've ever seen in my life!" David was trying to speak, having a hard timed doing so between his laughter and utter shock at the pale boy's tattoo choice for his Asian roommate. _

_Kurt shrugged smugly, a smirk falling onto his lips. "What can I say? I'm kind of a bitch," he giggled, watching Wes look in horror at the lettering on his reddened skin through the mirror. _

_"Any more? Or is that all for you boys tonight?" Linda, the very sweet, delicate tattoo artist inquired softly, peeking meekly around at the group of delinquents. _

_"We got one more! Kurt, my man! What have you decided for your boy?" David clapped the pale boy on the shoulder, and watched Blaine, sitting across the room, sitting beside Nick chatting idly. _

_"Courage," he mumbled, almost immediately, as though it was the answer to something that he'd been trying to remember for days. At his decision, the room grew mostly silent._

_Blaine and Nick looked up, both seemingly interested in the shift in mood. Blaine smiled at his boyfriend, standing up from the couch to walk over and place a warm hand over the pale boy's hip. "Choose something for me yet, babe?" He questioned, raising his pierced eyebrow with attitude, his half-smile quirking up on his lips._

_"Courage," Kurt repeated, this time louder, and with more feeling behind it, as he placed his hand over the one on his hip. _

_Blaine's cocky face fell, and both his eyebrows rose, his expression softening and looking slightly surprised at the genuine design idea. "…'Courage'?" _

_"Baby… You…have given me…__so__ much courage…since day one," Kurt's eyes fluttered shut, and he tried to think of a sincere way of saying what he felt. "Every day, you give me courage to get up and face the school, and everyone in it… It's __you__ that helps me, and supports me, when I break down… You gave me courage to sing again, Blaine… You… You are my courage," Kurt drew his eyes open, only to see Blaine looking at him in a way he didn't often see. _

_A tender sort of longing that almost made it seem he was having a difficult time believing someone could care for him like Kurt was describing._

_"How do you want it done?" Linda's soft voice sounded through the room, and Kurt broke away from his boyfriend, after one last warm look, to instruct her on the design. When Blaine approached the tattooing supplies, Linda turned to him, then shifted her gaze back to Kurt, not sure which one of them to question. "Where is it going to be?" _

_Kurt looked at Blaine. "I want you to get it wherever you want..."_

_Blaine blinked a couple of times, then reached for his boyfriend's hand, bringing it up to lay across his own chest. "Here... I want it over my heart."_

"Hey there, sexy,"

Kurt snapped his head up, breaking out of his flashback, only to see the other occupants of the room looking at him, with amused expressions of expectance.

"I – what? Are you talking to me?" He knew he had recognized the voice as Blaine's, but suddenly, he wasn't sure of the situation, and the looks he was getting were slightly concerning.

Blaine chuckled deep in his throat, approaching the slight boy's front and wrapping his arms around his back, resting his chin on the boy's shoulder. "Yes, _you_. Who else here is sexy?" Kurt was about to make a snarky comeback, but before he could even form a syllable, his boyfriend cut him off, pulling away and looking at him in the face, an honest curiosity and worry in his eyes. "How's that tongue?"

The pale boy nodded in response, giggling slightly. "It's fine. Not too sore… Just a bit swollen… And your heart?" Kurt asked, smiling coyly.

"…Absolutely perfect."

Kurt scrunched his nose up at the corniness of his boyfriend, bringing his hands up to the curly-haired boy's face and drawing him into a kiss, gasping when Blaine's tongue gently ran over the still-tender area of his piercing.

"Well, I don't know about _you_ guys," Trent's voice sounded throughout the room, sounding bored, "but _my_ god damn nipple hurts like a bitch. And I know Wes here has been bitching all night about his ass," the Asian boy flipped him off from his position lying on the bed, "so I think…we should take a little something…to _numb _the pain…" He smiled devilishly and raised an eyebrow, reaching into his backpack to pull out two bottles, one of vodka, and the other rum. "Anyone?"

A few cheers and yells were heard, and Kurt turned towards his boyfriend, a sly smile playing on his lips. "Are you gonna drink?"

Blaine's mouth twitched up into a small smirk, and then fell into a look of mock-hurt. "Well, now that you mention it, my tattoo is sort of _killing_ me…" Kurt gave him a playful smack on the arm, rolling his eyes. "No, really! I mean, I'm kind of in dying agony over here… Maybe just…_one_ drink – two! Just to take the edge off," he finished with a sigh, as though it pained him to think of drinking alcohol.

The other boy chuckled, taking his boyfriend by the shoulders and manually turning him and pushing him in the direction of the alcohol distribution. "_Blaine Anderson_," he giggled, watching as the curly-haired boy stalked off, "just get me one, too!" He called after the boy, shaking his head in amusement.

* * *

><p>"A-and – and it's just so…<em>nice<em>," Kurt murmured, sounding a mix between laughter and confusion. "I mean, look – _look_ at this!" He tugged lightly at his boyfriend's curly hair, his arms draped over him, giggling slightly. The two boys danced sloppily to the music, making vague movements and singing along with questionable lyrics.

It had been an hour since the alcohol had been released, and the Warblers in the room had taken full advantage of it.

"Oh, _Blaine_, I love this song!" Kurt squirmed excitedly, a small splash of his drink dribbling from his cup, spilling onto his boyfriend's shoulder.

The curly-haired boy cocked an eyebrow, smiling with amusement at the sight in front of him. He reached out to grab the still-spilling drink from the pale boy's hand as he began to dance enthusiastically. "Babe, I – I think you should – I think you should take a _break_," Blaine mumbled, placing the drink down cautiously on a table, eliciting a small whine from his boyfriend.

"_Blaaaine,_" but as soon as the curly-haired boy wrapped his arms around the drunken Warbler, he seemed to forget about his drink altogether. They danced for a few more minutes before Kurt pulled away, fanning himself with his hands and making sounds of discomfort. "_Mmm_, I'm so _hot_!"

Blaine smirked and reached for him slowly, gripping his hips tightly and scanning the pale boy's body with his eyes. "_Yeah_, you are," and with that, they began messily devouring each other's faces, moving slightly to the front of the room, near the door.

"Oh god, I – I'm gonna _die_ in these pants! Too hot!"

Blaine fumbled down to Kurt's waistband and began to unbutton and unzip his slacks, plunging his hands down into them, over his boxers, reaching around the back to feel up his tight ass, not breaking the kiss. He backed them up against the door, moving to Kurt's neck and letting the pale boy get a breath of air in, his panting blowing hot air onto the side of Blaine's face.

"Sh-shit, Blaine," Kurt stuttered breathily, pulling away momentarily, noticing his slacks had fallen off his slim hips in the process of moving, and kicking them off from where they lay pooled around his ankles, leaving him in his pair of tight, black boxers and white oxford. Kurt glanced down at his mostly-bare legs and back up to his boyfriend, an evil smirk falling onto his lips. "You, too, Anderson," and he reached up to take hold of each side of the curly-haired boy's white shirt and ripped it open, the sound of buttons clattering to the floor audible.

Kurt's mouth fell open at the sight, and he ran his hands over the tan expanse of skin, eyes raking over the scattering of chest hair and defined stomach muscles.

_I somehow don't remember it being this glorious the last time I saw him shirtless…_

The pale boy grabbed the useless sides of Blaine's shirt to flip them around, him now pushing the curly-haired boy against the door, and attached his lips to the tan skin of the other boy's neck. Blaine let out a noise between a hum and a moan, tilting his head to give better access to his boyfriend's talented mouth, chills running up his spine as the tiny piece of metal that now adorned the boy's tongue ran over his skin.

He fumbled helplessly with the top buttons of his the pale boy's shirt, his fingers numb and clumsy as he was victorious in undoing the first few, before giving up and capturing the other boy's soft lips with his own.

A couple of the Warblers in the room had begun to take notice to their two drunken, partially naked friends. Trent and Nick shared a questioning glance and then began to watch the two boys enthusiastically enjoy each other.

"This… This is weird…" Nick slurred, his eyes narrowing as he tilted his head, still watching the two boys with a mild interest, a look of slight repulse taking over his features at Kurt let out a small moan. "I-I mean… I don't care when – or _if_ – guys…do it with…with _guys_, but…" He trailed off, his eyebrow raising, words seeming to be lost.

Trent nodded enthusiastically, his eyes drifting shut and opening again, his features drowsy. "Yeah, bro. I know – I know what you mean… Even if this was…a chick and a dude getting it on, I – I'd still be like… I'd be like 'whoa, ch-chill out…you guys…' You know…?"

The dark-haired boy conveyed his agreement with a slow nod, grabbing the other boy by the arm and turning him back in the direction of the other Warblers, who were now passionately dancing in the dimmed light, the music from Jeff's portable speakers blaring. "We should…stop watching them make out, probably…"

* * *

><p><em>Knock! knock! knock! <em>

The boys all froze. A few eyed the door as though it was going to explode, or speak. Others subconsciously backed away from it. Wes's eyes darted to the bathroom, a conflicted look on his face, as though he was questioning hiding from whoever was behind the door. Kurt pulled away from his boyfriend, bringing a hand up to trace over the freshly-made hickeys that now adorned his neck, and shrugged.

"I guess… I-I'll open it. I'll answer it…" The pale boy nodded, but didn't move from where he stood. Blaine noticed this, placing a reassuring hand on his upper arm.

"It's…prolly just – just…Ms. Webber…or security, or something… Just act…act _cool_, babe. You – you got this."

Kurt nodded and tilted his chin up, approaching the door and looking through the peephole, his blurry eyes having a hard time figuring out the sight. Cracking the door open hesitantly, his eyes widened at the visitor.

There was a tall, dark-haired, upset looking man standing outside the door, his skin tan and smooth-looking. He didn't look much older than 20, and the way that he held himself, the clothes he was wearing – a Marc Jacobs winter coat, designer jeans and boots – Kurt knew.

He was gay. This man was gay.

The man's angry expression melted away the instant he laid eyes on Kurt. His face shifted into a curious look, his one eyebrow cocked and a smile falling onto his lips. He shamelessly ran his eyes up and down the pale boy's body, and Kurt remembered suddenly that he wasn't wearing pants, causing him to flush a bright red – even redder than he already was, from his intoxication – and hide behind the door slightly.

"I-I – yes? May I help you…?"

"_Well_," he drew out the word absently, eyes still focused on the slight amount of leg that was visible to him, "I was going to come and yell and you all, and ask you to turn your music the fuck down…_but_," he brought his eyes back up to meet Kurt's, a sly smirk now on his lips, "you have _alcohol_, don't you?"

Kurt's mouth fell open unattractively, but he closed it quickly, his face morphing into a look of disbelief. "N-no! Of course not!"

The tall man chuckled, leaning in slightly closer to Kurt, causing the boy to pull away. "Hun, you _reek_ of it…" He smiled, seemingly amused at the teenage rebellion, though his face turned slightly thoughtful, and he tilted his head, seeming to have gotten an idea. "Say, how would you feel about adding a few more to this shindig? We have a few fun drinks!" Without receiving an answer, the man whipped out his cell phone, pressing a speed dial and holding it up to his ear. He turned it away for a moment and looked at Kurt, who still stood in the doorway, feeling and looking confused. "Hun, mind if I come in?"

"K-Kurt," he mumbled randomly, correcting the man, attempting to get him to stop using the pet name.

Only Blaine was allowed to use pet names for him.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"My name's _Kurt_," he repeated, and for reasons unknown to himself, opened the door fully and let the man inside. He got curious glances from the other occupants of the room, and simply shrugged as the man followed him in.

"Cute – I like it. Oh! Jessica!" He turned away sharply, his eyes becoming unfocused as he listened to the person speaking on the other side of the line. "_Yes_. And you girls gotta get up here, and bring the booze…" He glanced up, taking in David and Blaine thoroughly, who had stepped up beside Kurt, and smiled coyly. "Trust me, you girls are gonna want to get in on this."

* * *

><p>No one was entirely sure how it happened, but as an hour passed, the small hotel room was filled with 14 drunk, very loud, <em>very drunk<em> people. The promise of more alcohol was all it took for the man – _Daniel_ – to win over most of the Warblers. And apparently, 'a few more' actually meant five, already-intoxicated college girls.

"W-where's – where's _Nick_?" Jeff slurred, asking no one in particular as he clutched his drink in his hand, searching the room for someone who could help him find his roommate.

He saw Kurt, swaying in the corner of the room to the booming music, mostly to himself, though there were a few people near him.

Kurt's curly-haired boyfriend was nowhere in sight, either.

_Didn't Blaine leave to get ice __ages__ ago?_

The rest of the Warblers were scattered about the room, in various stages of intoxication and embarrassment, but Jeff's dark-haired roommate wasn't in sight.

"Hey, _Blondie_," Jeff turned around unsteadily, nearly losing his balance, only to come face to face with a tall, very thin, brunette girl with her hair cut in a short style, tucked behind her ears. When Jeff continued to stare at her blankly, the girl approached him and took hold of his arm, beginning to lead him into a slow, dancing movement.

"You – you know where, uh – w-where Nick is?" The blonde boy tried, having a difficult time speaking in general. The girl giggled, pulling him close and leaning forward so her lips were close to his ear.

"I don't _care_ where Nick is," she hissed smoothly, and placed a soft kiss to the boy's ear, making his jump slightly, "and neither should you, Blondie… Come with me," she tugged his arm, smiling coyly at his confused face, still in shock from the kiss, and led him towards the bathroom door.

"W-what are we doing…?"

"Just taking a quick bathroom break," she raised an eyebrow and turned away sharply to face the door, rapping on it quickly a few times, then moved to turn the doorknob.

"_Occupied_!" But it was heard too late, as the tall girl flung the door open, entering the doorway and coming upon the very boy Jeff had been seeking, Nick, pressed skin-to-skin against a blonde girl, up against the wall of the bathroom, twisting sharply and looking terrified when they were interrupted.

"Oh, _fuck_! Sorry, Ash!" The brunette girl slammed the door shut, a mix of amusement and humiliation on her face. She turned to Jeff, and shrugged. "The guy she was fucking was hot, though," she giggled, and reached for a shot glass on the nearest table, pouring one for herself and tilting it back. She noticed the distressed look on the blonde boy's face. "What's up with you, Blondie?"

"Nick," he murmured simply, confliction flooding his features. The brunette looked puzzled for a moment, before following the boy's gaze to the closed bathroom door, a look of understanding dawning on her face as she nodded.

"That's him? Well, he's got a great ass. I should get in on that," she mused, her gaze drifting slightly as she poured another shot for herself. "I'm Tanya, by the way. And unless your name's _actually_ Blondie…"

"Uh… Jeff…"

"Cute. Well… You're really nice, and all, Blondie, but you seem to be kind of a lost cause, and I need to get laid…but it was fun talking to you," with a quick wink, she began walking away, and Jeff took a few moments, blinking slowly, to comprehend her statement.

"Wait, T-Tanya!" The girl turned back around, waving seductively at Trent before turning her eyes to the blonde boy. "W-what'd you – what do you _mean_ I was – that I was a '_lost cause_'?" He slurred, leaning forward and throwing his free hand up in emphasis.

"I just don't think I'd get what I'm looking for tonight from you," she raised an eyebrow, watching Jeff blink slowly in response, not saying anything, looking dumbfounded. "Exactly," she giggled, turning away again, but this time twisting back around to face the blonde boy. "Besides, Blondie… I don't think…_I'm_," she gestured with her hands up and down her body, emphasizing her woman-shaped body, "exactly your _type…_" And with that, she left him, blurring into the haze of the room, mixing somewhere between David and Thad.

"I'm not…" Jeff spoke after her, knowing positively that she couldn't hear him, "gay."

* * *

><p>"N-No… I – I've…" Kurt trailed off, blinking a few times, trying to keep his eyes open and focused on the man's piercing dark eyes that were set on him. "I've had…e-enough. Enough…" He nodded, turning his head away slightly when Daniel moved closer to him on the bed, slinging a sweaty arm over his shoulder and placing the previously-offered drink on the bedside table.<p>

"If you say so, Hun," the man chuckled, eyes shamelessly sweeping over the intoxicated boy's body and drooping face. He glanced to the bathroom door as a victorious-looking – and _sloppy_-looking – Thad exited with a tall, brunette girl – Tanya – and turned back to the pale, hardly-awake boy. "Why don't we go have a little fun, hmm? Bathroom's free."

Kurt just shook his head very slowly, his eyes falling shut and clamping tightly in distress. "_Mmm_," he shook his head again, this time more forcefully.

"Don't tell me you're _straight_, hun. Shit, with these legs, you're a tease to gay men everywhere," he placed a firm hand on Kurt's still-exposed thigh and ran it up near his crotch, not stopping his stroking when Kurt jumped violently at the touch and tried to scoot away.

"N-n-no, my – my _boyfriend_ –"

Daniel cut him off with a harsh laugh, moving even closer to the pale boy, watching his face, "I have a boyfriend, too. They don't need to know. It's just a little fun –"

"No, my – Blaine – he… He – the ice," Kurt slurred, his eyes fighting to crack open as he gestured messily towards the door where Blaine had disappeared forever ago to retrieve ice.

Daniel seemed confused for a few moments before nodding understandingly. "The curly-haired kid. He's pretty fucking hot. Not gonna lie… I've never been too into piercings, myself, though."

Kurt let out a tired giggle and stuck his tongue out, the freshly-pierced skin hanging out in clear view. "This a – a _t-turn-off_?" He spoke around his tongue, a drowsy-looking smile hanging on his lips.

Instead of answering, Daniel lunged forward, capturing the boy's open mouth with his own lips, causing Kurt to jerk suddenly, attempting the best he could to push away at the man's chest, but his intoxication making the task difficult. Finally, Daniel broke away and moved on to the pale boy's neck, still exposed from the few buttons Blaine had undone previously.

"W-what the –" Kurt pushed away at his shoulders, tears leaking from his eyes, but the man just leaned onto him, pushing him down into the mattress. "What the f-fuck are you d-doing? Get – get _off_!"

"_Dammit_," Daniel spoke, sitting up, straddling the young boy's hips against his efforts to move away. "Don't be such a fucking tease. Loosen up!" He moved back down to kiss and nibble on Kurt's neck, holding his arms above his head.

"Get off!"

"What the _fuck_!"

The weight suddenly evaporated from on top of him, and Kurt shot up, hardly catching sight of his curly-haired boyfriend holding the man in front of him by the collar of his shirt and punching him hard in the nose, an audible – and concerning – crack resulting. The blow in the face hit him down to the ground and Blaine looked mixed between going after him again or stepping back. He ended up taking a step back and his eyes shot up to his boyfriend on the bed, his expression ridden with concern and fright.

"Oh, _fuck_, Kurt. Kurt, baby, are you okay?" He crawled up onto the bed and scooted on his knees towards the pale boy, who was sitting up with a conflicted, twisted look on his face, and ran his eyes over him, placing a warm hand on his back, trying to read him. Kurt saw the others in the room had all froze, watching the situation carefully.

"I – I'm, " he turned to Blaine, his face in a complete look of horror, "I'm… _I'mgonnathrowup_ –" He sprung up onto his feet and darted to the bathroom, with surprising coordination, given his drunken state, and the sound of him coughing and choking, and his vomit splashing into the toilet, could be heard.

Blaine winced at the sound of his boyfriend suffering and rushed up to follow him, closing the bathroom door behind himself.

After a few good minutes, Blaine exited the bathroom, and the sound of the shower running was heard. He glanced around the hotel room, noticing only the original occupants were present, and that they were all seated on one of the two beds, looking upset or half-asleep.

Trent looked up as Blaine plopped down onto the bed. "Is he –?"

"Yeah," Blaine cut him off, nodding and rubbing his eyes with his hands, then faced the boys, who were still waiting for him to elaborate on the situation. He sighed. "I mean – he's… He's feeling better, he's in the – the shower. I think he won't – I _hope_ he won't remember it tomorrow. But…" He shrugged, scanning the room in front of him and raising an eyebrow when he spotted a blonde boy curled up in the corner of the room. "What's…? Is Jeff…?"

Wes looked over his shoulder to the boy in question, and shrugged. "He's r-really, _really_ wasted. Him… Him and Kurt. They definitely drank too much…" In response, Blaine simply sighed and nodded, taking another long glance at the closed bathroom door and blinking thoughtfully.

David noticed this behavior and raised an eyebrow, tonguing his fresh piercing, his lip poking out where the stud was. "You alright, B?"

The curly-haired boy came out of his thoughtful haze, shaking his head slightly. "Hmm?" He turned back to David, and the dark-skinned boy just raised his eyebrows, an inquisitive look still in place on his face, knowing Blaine had heard him. "I, um… Yeah. I just… I got so fucking pissed. S-someone doing that to him after – after _everything_. I just… Ugh," he shook his head, trying to calm down from the anger that seemed to take over him at the mere thought. "I didn't mean to…to hit him. I'm not supposed to do that kind of shit anymore…"

Nick turned to him, from his place on the bed beside Blaine, and placed a tentative hand on the boy's shoulder, searching his face. "You… It was a good reason, B. That guy was a total p-prick. And you backed off…" The dark-haired boy trailed off, but his voice made it obvious he wanted to say more. He made brief eye contact with a few of the other boys, and turned back to the curly-haired boy. "So, B… You and Kurt… You guys are getting kind of…s-serious, then?"

Blaine jolted at the statement, and his eyes widened as he faced the other boy. "What do you mean?"

Nick shrugged, his voice attempting a casual tone. "Well…nothing. I mean – just that it takes a lot for you to…lose your t-temper like that these days. You must be kind of… You gotta, like, _care_ about him a lot…" Nick shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed at his attempt at emotional talk.

Blaine didn't seem to notice, and his face turned slightly pink, a look of concern dominating his features. "I… I do. I mean, yeah, I do. But…" He sighed, tilting his head thoughtfully, his eyes seeming to be drowsy. "I'm just worried I'm not d-doing this whole thing right, you know?"

The other boys made eye contact with each other, it being obvious that they had an opinion on the matter but were trying to determine whether or not to speak it. Finally, Thad, who had been quiet for the conversation, surprising everyone, spoke up.

"Look, B. We never really thought we'd see you get into a _r-relationship_ like this, okay? We were pretty sure you'd – you'd fuck it up real bad because you kind of…suck at this stuff…" He shrugged, leaning back onto the pillow of the bed.

Blaine's mouth fell open slightly, but he closed it, a questioning look taking over his face. "Um… Thanks –?"

"But now that you and Kurt are…w-whatever, we just want to make sure you _don't_…fuck it up… He's like…fragile, or whatever."

Blaine ran his hands through his hair, tugging at a few curls, a thoughtful, pained expression on his face. "I – I _know_, I'm not – _ugh_… Listen…" He paused, sighing heavily and closing his eyes briefly before opening them again to face the boys in front of him. "I don't know w-what the fuck I'm doing. I thought…that I'd fuck this up…really, _really_ bad… A-and then, I just end up doing stuff... Like we hold hands, and k-kiss, and talk… And it's just so… I don't know. It's j-just, like, _so _perfect, and… Like _I_ don't know what I'm doing, but somehow I _do_ know what I'm doing? Fuck… I know not all of you guys have had g-girlfriends, or whatever, but is that what it's supposed to be like? Like… Like everything is exactly right without trying…? Because I'm just going into this…fucking – fucking _blind_…"

Thad sat up quickly, watching Blaine intently as he did so, looking at the curly-haired boy's sincere face, ridden with worry and concern. After a few moments of this, the dark-haired boy chuckled lightly, shaking his head in disbelief. "Shit," he mumbled, an amused tone to his voice. "Fucking _shit_…"

"W-what?" Blaine looked to the boy, as did the other occupants of the room, with questioning gazes.

"Damn, B," Thad chuckled, shaking his head again, leaving no answer to the curly-haired boy.

"Fuck, Thad! _What_?"

Thad's face got slightly more serious as he faced Blaine, his eyes watching the other boy's face for his reaction. "You f-fucking _love_ him."

It hit Blaine like a ton of bricks.

"What…?"

"You do. It's so fucking obvious. Shit…" He laughed again, reaching for the bottle of vodka the others had abandoned long ago and took a small swig of it. "Fucking…shit… I don't think we have to worry about this one…" He addressed the other boys, sticking his thumb in the direction of Blaine, who was still wide-eyed with the realization that dawned on him.

Wes made grabby-hands for the bottle that Thad was holding and the dark-haired boy passed it to him. "You guys… This is – this is the best drunk-talk we've ever had," he laughed and took a sip of the alcohol, wincing at the burn. "Seriously…"

Their discussion was cut short when the sound of the shower turning off was heard, and then the curtain being violently dragged open. After a few seconds of audible fumbling from the bathroom, "_Blaine_…?" Kurt's tired voice was heard coming into the room, muffled by the door, calling for his boyfriend.

"Yeah, I'm coming, babe!" Blaine got to his feet, noticing the other boys making amused faces at each other at Blaine's affectionate use of his pet name, after the discussion they'd had. "Don't… Don't, like, _say_ anything, okay? R-really. Don't."

Trent laughed, yanking the bottle from the Asian boy's hands, resulting in a glare from him. "We wouldn't."

Blaine raised an eyebrow before attempting, mostly with success, to walk with coordination into the bathroom, closing the door behind himself.

* * *

><p>Kurt winced as the door creaked, hoping that it didn't make Thad stir. He very carefully and deliberately shut the door, hearing the small clicking of the latch closing. Just as he was turning around, a pair of arms closed around his front, making him shriek in surprise.<p>

"_Blaine_!" he hissed, but there was a smile on his face as the curly-haired boy went in for the pale skin on his neck, kissing and briefly nibbling the sensitive area. "We – we said… In the _hallway_…" Kurt panted, his eyes falling shut and his head tilting, giving his boyfriend better access at the soft skin. "The – the _hallway_ doesn't mean…you attacking me outside my d-d-d-door – _ugh_, _Blaine_!" Kurt shuddered, giving in to the boy's very convincing lips and capturing them in his own.

The two boys ended up collapsing down onto the carpeted ground, a hot mess of lips and tongues and teeth and lost shirts.

"K-Kurt…" Blaine mumbled after they had broken apart for a few moments, as he lay panting beside the other boy, rubbing small circles with his thumb on the pale, smooth expanse of chest that was present before him. "I… I…" _love you_. But he couldn't. He couldn't. "I… I'm gonna miss you," he leaned over Kurt, whispering into the other boy's neck, following the statement with a soft, tender kiss there, over the spot where a fresh hickey was visible.

The pale boy nodded, bringing his hand up to cradle Blaine's head, his finger twirling an especially springy curl. "I know… I…" He sighed, his other hand pressing against the small of the curly-haired boy's back, bringing him down so he was lying completely on top of him, bare chest to bare chest. "Me too…" Kurt ran his hand up and down his boyfriend's back for a few moments, before speaking again. "Blaine… Are… Are _you_ leaving after classes tomorrow…? For Christmas."

Blaine kept his head down where it was, buried in Kurt's shoulder, and Kurt could tell from his silence that he was conflicted about answering.

"I… I don't know," he muttered finally, a false tone of nonchalance to his voice.

"Baby," Kurt began, concern obvious in his voice as he sat up, forcing Blaine up as well, "tomorrow's the 20th. Don't you know what you're doing yet?"

A flash of hurt ran across the curly-haired boy's face, until it was replaced with slight annoyance. "I don't _know_, okay, Kurt? My parents just drop in and decide out of nowhere that they want to see me sometimes. It's not exactly up to me," he huffed, turning his face away from his boyfriend's.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the pale boy's delicate face looking at him with sincere worry, tilting his head in thought as he watched his boyfriend. Finally, Blaine sighed and turned back to Kurt, not saying anything, but letting his face drop down to the hurt look that truly conveyed what he felt, the tears forming in his eyes as he let out a half-choking sound as his throat tightened up.

Kurt hummed, understanding the unspoken apology, cupping the boy's scruffy cheek in his hand and bringing the curly-haired boy closer to him until their foreheads were pressed together. "If your family doesn't want to see you…_they're_ missing out, Blaine… Because… You. Are. The. Most…wonderful, amazing –"

Kurt was cut off when Blaine let out a choking sob, his body jerking forward, turning to bury his face into his boyfriend's shoulder.

"_Shhh_… Amazing, brilliant, caring, beautiful person…I've _ever_ met… And… And we all fucked up, here. We messed up to get here… And, sometimes, our families forget who we are…" Kurt kissed Blaine's neck, feeling his crying settling down, and pulled away from him so he could see him in the eyes. "But listen to me… You, Blaine Anderson, are an amazing person… No matter who forgets, you still are. And I'll never… I'll _never_ forget…"

Blaine sniffled softly, his eyes searching his boyfriend's face – his beautiful boyfriend's face – and he leaned in, kissing his intensely on the lips, drawing his hands around to snake around his back, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss. After a couple minutes, the boys pulled away from each other, and Blaine sighed deeply, letting his head fall onto Kurt's shoulder, letting out a small chuckle that caused his body to vibrate.

"I'm gonna miss you so much…"

Kurt giggled, realizing it was late and that the first round of security would be coming by soon to do hallway and lounge checks. He nudged Blaine, implying silently that it was time to go back to their rooms. As they began pulling their shirts back on, Kurt turned to his boyfriend. "It's two weeks, babe…"

As Blaine tugged his thermal shirt over his head, he blinked thoughtfully and embraced the pale boy, swaying slightly as he cherished the last moment before bed that he would see Kurt. "Two weeks too many," he shrugged, holding the sides of his boyfriend's face and kissing him softly on the mouth, then pulling away and giving his half-smile as he appreciated the boy's face affectionately.

Kurt opened his mouth to say goodnight to the curly-haired boy, when a loud, choking, coughing sound surprised the two boys so much that they jumped, both instinctively clutching onto each other. Kurt turned towards the door beside his own, Nick and Jeff's, and pressed his ear against the door.

"Hmm… _Someone_'s throwing up…" He looked at Blaine and raised an eyebrow with a shrug.

_"Jeff, man, you okay?"_

Blaine and Kurt exchanged a quick glance at the words they could hear through the door, both getting increasingly concerned as the vomiting continued, and especially so when there seemed to be a sort of crying, sobbing sound accompanying it.

"Do you think he's okay…? He couldn't still be hungover…" Blaine mused out loud, turning towards his boyfriend, who looked extremely worried. At the curly-haired boy's words, Kurt's face shifted into a more relaxed expression, seeming false as a tight smile fell onto his lips.

"I'm sure it's just something like that… He drank a lot… Well, anyway…" Kurt held his boyfriend one final time, kissing him briefly on the cheek and pulling away. "'Night, Blaine…"

"'Night, Kurt."

As the curly-haired boy shot him one last smile and began stalking off in the direction of his room, Kurt's smile fell. He gave another lingering look to his neighbor's door and frowned, before creeping carefully back into his own door.

_What's wrong with Jeff…?_

He collapsed into his own bed, pulling his covers tightly over his shoulders to shield himself from the chilly air, now that Blaine wasn't there to do it. His thoughts drifted back over the past few days, thinking of the man, Daniel, trying to take advantage of him, of the drunken vomiting, of their oblivious chaperone and the finals he had the day before…

And then he heard the choking sound, loud and clear, coming from the room next to his, followed again by a loud, whimpering cry and attempted comforting from Nick.

And he thought about Jeff, and everything that he needed to figure out about what was happening to him, as he drifted off to sleep.


	10. Snow

**A/N .O gahhhh - so long story short = computer virus during finals week = ME CRYING DEEPLY ALONE IN MY ROOM FOREVER  
>Sorry to be totally crazy and non-updating-y, but my life has been like AHHH :S<br>And, not to be like a total "I totally don't like how this turned out!" kind of attention-y person, but this turned out WEIRD, because I rewrote the whole damn thing in like...a day T_T and the mood turned...different...?  
>ANYWAY, I'm SORRY! FOR EVERYTHING *still is crying deeply*<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"…Just kinda like…" Nick trailed off, grimacing as his eyes turned downcast with a pained expression, blinking a few times as he mindlessly stabbed the remains of his pancakes with his fork.<p>

"'_Like_'…?" Trent urged, a smirk twitching up his lips as he made brief eye contact with David, who had his arms crossed in front of him with his eyebrows raised.

The dark-haired boy sighed irritably in response, putting his fork down entirely and closing his eyes. "Just kinda like…_stuff_…coming out," he opened his eyes weakly after that, looking from face to face for reactions.

Wes, David, and Trent all burst into bouts of laughter, causing Nick to huff angrily and roll his eyes, turning his attention back to his food, which he continued to stab pointlessly.

Blaine and Jeff shared a worried glance, the former bringing a hand up to motion the others to quiet down. When they wouldn't, the curly-haired boy let out an aggravated grunt. "You guys, really. Shut the fuck up. _Nick_," he turned to the dark-haired boy, "what, uh… What do you mean…'_stuff_'?"

Nick shifted his glance up to Blaine, who was giving him a sincerely concerned, albeit slightly embarrassed, expression. "Um… Just…like, not the normal…stuff… Just like…junk…and," he sighed, shaking his head slightly, "fuck, I don't know."

Blaine sighed, scanning the cafeteria for a certain pale-skinned boy before turning to Nick again and leaning in closer. "Does it… Does it, like, hurt when you piss?" Nick's eyes darted up to meet Blaine's quickly before the dark-haired boy let out a low moan, burying his face in his hands. "Look, Nick… I, um… I had gonorrhea…when I was 15," he added the last part at his friends' surprised looks, "and that shit sucks if you don't get it taken care of."

Nick breathed out and nodded slowly, looking as though he was about to say something when his eyes shifted to somewhere behind David. The occupants of the table all turned to see Thad approaching with a tray in his hands, his face twisted in obvious worry.

"Thad, where's Kurt?" Blaine asked, his voice filled with surprise at the dark-haired boy arriving to breakfast alone.

"Fuck if I know. He came back in last night after…sneaking out to – to get a blowjob from you –"

"I didn't _blow_ him!"

Thad scoffed and plopped down in between Jeff and Nick, shoving an undercooked piece of hash brown into his mouth. "Whatever you say, B. He just comes _waltzing_ back into the room looking all sweaty and satisfied... And the only other times he looks like that is when he goes for a run and he _definitely_ wasn't in his running sweats."

Blaine sat, seemingly distracted by the other boy's statement. He _hadn't_ given Kurt a blowjob. He had simply had a passionate make-out session with him… But the mere _thought_ of touching Kurt's penis… Tasting it… Putting his lips around it and –

"So he's not still in the room, or…?" Blaine cut off his own unclean thoughts, his voice seeming painfully obvious that he was trying to redirect the conversation.

Thad raised an eyebrow at the curly-haired boy and shook his head. "No. I woke up this morning and he wasn't in the room. And his running shoes were gone, so I just assumed that's where he was. But when I was done showering and ready for class, he still wasn't back... And he's not answering his phone, so…"

Jeff brushed his blonde hair from his eyes and looked thoughtful. "Maybe he just didn't realize how late it was. He's probably just back at the room now, freaking out and rushing to get ready."

Blaine nodded, still looking worried, especially after seeing Thad's concerned expression. "Yeah, maybe… I… I just… I hope…" He trailed off, after getting knowing glances from everyone at the table. Ever since Blaine's drunken realization of love for his boyfriend, the others in the group seemed to enjoy pointing it out endlessly. "…But anyway… Back to what we were talking about before? Nick, you should really get that checked out."

The dark-haired boy nodded with a contemplative look on his face, and Thad cocked an eyebrow. "Get _what_ checked out, exactly?"

"Nicky boy might have an STD after fucking one of those chicks last weekend," Wes announced cheerily, earning a harsh smack in the arm from said boy.

"Fuck, man! What girl did you sleep with?" Thad asked, suddenly interested in the subject.

"Uh… The blonde one," he shrugged after a moment, realizing he'd never heard her name.

"Shit! I think I fucked her too! Wait – you didn't –? Did you go raw?"

Nick shrunk back a little and averted eye contact. "Uh, well…_yeah_, but –"

"You're a fucking idiot!"

"Are you serious?"

"Fucking stupid!"

Nick rolled his eyes and nodded through all of the guys' reactions, opening his mouth, about to respond –

"Dumbass," Thad breathed finally, shaking his head with an almost amused disbelief. The bell signaling the end of breakfast sounded and Thad's face dropped significantly. As the others began to stand up and move towards the exit, the dark-haired boy remained seated, quickly scanning the room with an apprehensive air about him.

"Thad…?"

The boy looked up at the call of his name to see Trent giving him a questioning expression, and that the others had stopped in their attempts to make it to the exit of the room and were all looking at him expectantly.

"I – um… Yeah…" He came to his feet, his mind clearly distracted as his movements were slow and delayed. As the boys all gave him similar skeptical looks, due to the fact that his response hadn't made any sense, the dark-haired boy shook his head, coming out of his worried daze and running his eyes through the emptying room one last time. "Right. Let's… Let's go."

* * *

><p>"Holy <em>shit<em>! It's crazy out there!" Nick announced excitedly to the other six boys as they entered their English class, brushing the snow from his shoulders and smiling at his blonde roommate, knowing his love for winter weather.

Jeff let his mouth twitch up into a small smile and brought his hand up to remove some of the remaining flakes from his roommate's dark hair, shaking his own head in amusement and removing his coat.

The others filed in and the classroom was soon full. As Blaine shrugged off his coat and made his way to their usual seats, he caught sight of Thad's obviously upset expression. The curly-haired teen took a seat beside Kurt's empty one and frowned. The bell rang to indicate the beginning of class and Blaine shook his head slowly. _Something's not right…_

"…Thad, I think –"

"I know," the other boy replied quickly, knowing Kurt's boyfriend would be worried by this time. He turned to face the others as a whole and spared a short glance to their teacher, who was still filing through a stack of papers. "Something's wrong. We need to go find him…"

"Especially in this weather… I mean, it's freezing out there, I – _B_!" Jeff hissed as Blaine began to stand up and eye the teacher carefully as though he was about to try to make a run for it. David rolled his eyes and stood up, yanking the curly-haired boy back by the sleeve of his blazer and pulling him back down into his seat, causing him to shove the dark-skinned boy away from himself and huff angrily, watching the door almost longingly. "What are you _doing_? Mr. Goff hates us already, he'd _kill_ you if he saw you ditching."

It was just their luck that the week's schedule had been rearranged to accommodate their time off from classes, and that this Tuesday's classes began with _English_.

With _Mr. Goff._

"I'm _sorry_," Blaine began, his voice thick with sarcasm as he turned sharply to face the blonde and cock his head with attitude, "my fucking _boyfriend_ is out there somewhere in the _freezing _cold. So how about we fuck _off_, Jeff! …David!" He spat out at the two who had gone against his attempt of finding Kurt immediately.

Wes reached his hand out and patted the curly-haired boy lightly on the shoulder from his seat behind him. "Don't worry, B. I'm sure Kurt's fine… He –"

"_Really_, Wes? Kurt's on time _every_ fucking day... He probably fell or something, and got hurt in this blizzard. He's probably _not_ fine…" Thad cut off the Asian boy with a low tone to his voice, sounding pessimistic and slightly defeated. Blaine placed his hands over his face and let out a low moan, letting his head fall to the desk with a loud _thwack!_ that got the attention of a few of the surrounding students. Wes and David snapped over to look at Thad, giving him looks of _'what the fuck?'_, and he only responded by shrugging and rolling his eyes. "_What_? It's fucking true. Other than B, I probably know Hummel better than any of you… You guys don't get how this kid gets ready before class. He'd never give up his '_morning routine_.' This isn't good."

Blaine raised his head slowly, and looked even more worried, his hand subconsciously running over the tattoo on his chest, sighing. "Maybe if we just –"

"_Boys_…" The teacher began, looking at the small group that was still chattering as everyone else quieted down with narrowed eyes. The man turned to face the entire class. "Okay, everyone. This is our last meeting before Winter Intermission, so we're going to be going over the reading list for break… But first, everyone pass up your Twelfth Night passage analyses," Mr. Goff approached the first row of desks and waited as the boys all began rummaging through their bags, pulling out various sheets of paper and began handing them forward.

"Mr. Goff?"

"_Yes_, Mr. Nixon? Is there something I can –? Oh… Is Mr. Hummel…_absent _today?" The teacher's face lit up in surprise when he took in the vacant seat beside a worried and defeated Blaine, and his face shifted to an annoyed expectance as his gaze fell upon the other boys in the group.

Trent faked innocence and obliviousness, raising an eyebrow and glancing to the seat Kurt usually occupied and shrugged casually. "I –"

"Mr. Harwood? I was under the impression your roommate was relatively well-behaved… I can be sure he isn't wandering campus or attempting an escape…?"

"Of course not, sir. He…woke up late and was…rushing to get ready. I-I'm sure he'll be here any minute." Thad tried to sound cool and collected, but his friends could hear the uncertainty in his voice very clearly.

Mr. Goff raised his eyebrows at this and stalked off to his computer and typed a few things quickly, then scanned the screen. "Well… He was absent for breakfast…? But, alright, I'll take your word for it and wait another few minutes for his arrival…"

"Mr. Goff...?"

The man seemed to be looking over the information on his screen, not looking up as he answered. "Yes…? Yes, Mr. Nixon?"

"Can I…? I gotta piss… I was gonna ask before…?"

At this, the teacher's head snapped up and looked at the bigger teen, seeming to just remember the earlier interaction. "Right, I – of course! I –" he shook his head, slight irritation dawning on his face, "– _language_, Mr. Nixon. But yes, you may be excused. Be quick. Alright, so as we were ending Twelfth Night…"

Trent stood slowly, watching as the teacher rambled on and turned to face the board, beginning to write down themes. Trent turned to bend down to the other boys, and patted Blaine on the shoulder, catching his attention, causing the curly-haired boy to look at him with a puzzled expression.

Trent jerked his head in the direction of the door and nodded. "Don't worry, B, I got your boy," he said, so quiet, Blaine had to strain to hear him, but when he did, he nodded curtly, a soft expression on his face, and watched after Trent as he made his way out of the door and down the hall.

* * *

><p>Blaine and the others sat, anxiously, patiently waiting the return of Trent, or even the – now, <em>very – <em>late arrival of Kurt. They were waiting for something.

Something.

Anything.

Blaine stiffened and sat up straighter in his chair as he felt the vibrations of his phone tingle up the side of his leg, and glanced up at his teacher, seeing the man hadn't noticed. Wes, having heard the phone buzz, leaned forward to read over the curly-haired boy's shoulder to see the text.

Blaine cautiously pulled his phone out, attempting to keep one eye on his teacher, and saw a single message from Trent.

_u gota get to arts. fuckin stat – T_

Wes turned his attention to Blaine's face, carefully watching for the boy's reaction after reading the text himself. The Asian boy then made eye contact with his roommate, who had noticed something had occurred, that new information had been found out. It seemed the curly-haired teen read the message over a few times, his breathing getting increasingly faster and his face falling more and more into a panicked expression.

"_Mr. Goff_! Can I –? I need to go to the bathroom!" Blaine sprung to his feet, his eyes wide and his face void of most of its natural color as he interrupted Mr. Goff's lecture.

The teacher turned around and raised an eyebrow, taking in his stressed form. "Mr. Anderson, sit _down_," he huffed, seemingly amazed that the curly-haired boy was outrageous enough to jump up and disturb his teachings. Blaine's eyebrows pulled together in slight pain and he glanced to the door briefly, then let his eyes fall on the teacher, seeing his angry expression and sat down, reluctantly. "Now, you may use the restroom when Mr. _Nixon_ returns. Alright, so –"

"No, Mr. Goff, _really_," there was a tone in the boy's voice that made the teacher stop what he was doing and face Blaine again, "I _really_ need to go…" His eyes were pleading, hoping in some way that the man might shove aside his pre-established hate for him and understand that something important was happening.

Mr. Goff's angry gaze faltered and for a moment, he was about to excuse the boy, but a few snickers from surrounding students within the classroom brought him back to his senses.

After all, this was _Blaine Anderson_ talking. He was part of _that_ group, and was most likely up to something.

"_Now_, Mr. Anderson! As I said _before_, you may be excused when your classmate returns! I won't have any of this behavior in my –"

But Blaine didn't listen. He shook his head through the man's reply angrily and shot up to his feet, dashing to the door and ignoring the surprised looks he got from his peers, as well as from his teacher. "Sorry!" He called out, sounding almost exasperated at the situation, not putting up with this outrageousness any longer.

He needed to be where Kurt was.

He needed to _know_ where Kurt was.

Blaine was sure Mr. Goff would send security after him, but he wasn't concerned, and he didn't look behind him as he jumped through the main doors of the English wing and out into the cold air. It was positively _freezing_.

The ice-cold breath hurt his throat as he sucked it in hastily; panic flooding through his system as he tried to see through the snowy weather. He slowed his running pace down to a quick stride, suddenly feeling as though he might faint from the lack of oxygen and amount of snow he was inhaling.

He looked out across the long field that led to the Arts Building and squinted, hoping to make out at least something that would indicate what was happening. Giving up, he began making his way across the long stretch of land, pushing his way through the wind that was racing in the opposite direction of his stride.

And then he saw it.

Or _them_, rather.

There, blurred by the excessive amounts of winter weather, were two forms, seemingly crouching against the main entrance door of the Arts Building. And by the way he was built, the way he stood, and the barely visible color of his skin and hair, Blaine knew.

It was Kurt.

Blaine didn't remember running the rest of the way to the boy, or nearly collapsing onto the ground beside Trent, but there he was, being supported by the bigger teen as he pled desperately to his boyfriend.

"Holy shit! Holy fuck! _Fuckfuckfuck_," Blaine's eyes were wide and confused and he stood still for a moment, his fingers digging into his scalp painfully as he took in his boyfriend freezing to death. "Kurt, babe, _Kurt_," he cried, attempting to pull the slim boy into his arms, who was hardly-responsive and shaking more than he thought physically possible. He jumped back when there was something hindering he ability to hold his boyfriend, and looked down, seeing Kurt's arms were behind his back, his wrists _tied_ to the handles of the door where the lock was in place with a plastic zip-tie. "What the _fuck_ is this? Baby, tell me what happened… _Kurt_," Blaine breathed, his voice unsteady, bringing his hand up to run on the fair-skinned boy's cheek, which was unusually red and chapped-looking from the harsh weather, but there were also bruises and a few cuts scattering his delicate face.

"_I-I-I c-couldn't…_" was all that came from the freezing boy's lips as he briefly opened his eyes and then shut them again, causing Blaine to jump back into action, trying to solve this problem.

It was only then that he noticed Kurt was simply in his running attire, thick sweats and a weather-proof jacket, but not warm enough for this. Blaine ripped his own coat from his body instantly, fumbling from his own shaking, and draped it over the boy's shivering body as best as possible, also realizing his clothes were wet to the touch.

Because someone had jumped his boyfriend while he was on a run.

And tied him to an abandoned building in the middle of winter, and left him there for over an hour…

In the middle of a blizzard.

"B, I thought he might have – have t-taken cover inside of Arts when the storm hit, a-and I came out here and found him like this," Trent strained to explain through the weather, his voice sounding unnaturally distant for their close proximity. "He was trying to yell to get me to notice him at first and I almost didn't b-because his voice was hardly there… Dude…I bet it was _Renny_ –"

"No _fuck_ it was Renny!" Blaine spat angrily, dropping down to his knees beside Kurt to get a good angle at the tie on his hands. He dug into his pants pocket and came back with a small switchblade, flipping it open shakily and pulling through the plastic tie, but the knife was dull and required some effort to use. "And what the _shit_, Trent? Why the hell didn't you do something sooner? He could _die_, he probably has _hypothermia_!"

Trent approached the two and held Kurt as he began to fall forward from exhaustion, and looked at his curly-haired friend. "Bro, I know you always carry a knife around – I didn't have one! You're just fucking lucky I found him… If I didn't come out here –"

"Fuck, I know! Shut up! Just – help me fucking – carry him," Blaine rambled out impatiently, coming back to his feet as he finally freed his boyfriend from the plastic ties, his voice anxious and his body filling with more adrenalin and panic as Kurt became less and less responsive. The two boys managed to each get a sturdy grip on one side of Kurt, each of them having their necks supporting underneath one of his arms. "It's – it's… It's gonna be okay, baby… Come on… Kurt… _Kurt_, stay awake," Blaine ran his eyes over his boyfriend's face as they hastily half-dragged him on his feet to the dorm, which was luckily one of the closest structures to the Arts Building.

As they entered the warmth of the building, Kurt's eyes heavily rose, and he flickered his gaze to Blaine, who was trying to drag him in the direction of the stairs, but Trent tugged them back.

"Bro, no way. He needs to go to the medical wing. Look at him," Trent rambled shakily, having to use his arm that wasn't already around the pale boy to support him as Kurt began falling forward in shuddering movements. Kurt's face had lost any ounce of color that was present from the cold once they entered the building, and his shaking had worsened.

"Trent, are you _crazy_? The medical wing's on the other side of campus! He's gonna die if we try to drag him all the way over there! We – we at least need to…to warm him up a little bit first. If he's still looking like this, then we can take him." Trent nodded understandingly and Blaine pulled his boyfriend close to him, eyebrows furrowing together as he ran a hand over the boy's icy cheek. "Come on," he snapped at the bigger teen, and motioned for them to head up the stairs, but Trent stayed behind.

"Dude… I…" He breathed anxiously, glancing back at the door, looking reluctant but seeming aware that time was crucial for the pale boy. At first Blaine thought it was because he still was feeling unsure of their treatment for Kurt's condition, but then realization dawned on him.

"Trent… _Fuck_,I forgot about your probation. Just…go back, you'll be able to make it before next period starts, I'll be fine. I'll get him up there and warm him up," he nodded, already beginning to support Kurt and move away from the other teen in rushed movement.

"Are you sure, B? I mean – I – I can, if you need –"

"_Go_, Trent! You can't miss more class!"

* * *

><p>"Okay, okay, okay… This is fine – this is fine, I got this…" Blaine clamped his eyes shut and trekked up the stairs, attempting to pull Kurt along.<p>

As soon as Trent had left, Blaine's inevitable panic began to set in. He suddenly realized the severity of the situation. He managed to partially _drag_ his boyfriend up to his room, and flung the door open, holding it open with his foot as he moved them both inside.

His first instinct was to wrap Kurt up in blankets, but he realized suddenly that his clothes were soaking wet. They needed to be taken off if he wanted to get the other boy warm.

Without thinking or hesitating, Blaine steadied Kurt by leaning him against the edge of the bed, so he was half-sitting, his body still trembling violently. Blaine stripped the other boy of his top layers, feeling them crunch slightly beneath his fingers, frozen from the outside weather.

Kurt immediately flung his arms around his own chest at the loss of clothes and his knees instinctively began to rise, in an attempt to curl into some kind of fetal position.

Blaine let out an anxious whine, putting two fingers under the waistband of Kurt's sweatpants, then hesitated, reaching out a hand to hold Kurt's chin, forcing him to face him and make eye contact. "Babe, _baby_, come on… Look, I'm just gonna take these off, okay?"

Getting no response but steady, returned eye contact, Blaine nodded and tugged the pants off, leaving Kurt in his boxer-briefs. Blaine almost jumped into action to start with the piling of blankets, until seeing Kurt's underwear, too, were wet. Kurt's shaking suddenly stopped, and his body fell into a visible relaxed form, and he began falling forward, his eyes shut.

"Fuck! Kurt!" Blaine grabbed the boy's shoulders and straightened him back up, almost jumping back from the bitter cold temperature radiating from his boyfriend's pale skin. Blaine, in a hurried panic now more than ever, tugged the boy's boxers off and dragged him to the main center of the bed, grabbing every ounce of blanket and sheet and pillow he could find, and tucking it all around him, noticing at least that he had begun shivering again, regaining some kind of consciousness.

"B-B-Blaine?" Kurt stuttered, his teeth audibly chattering as he tried to move his head and open his eyes to locate his boyfriend. Blaine, having moved to Thad's bed to strip the bedding and give it to Kurt, ceased his actions immediately and jumped over to the boy, bearing a small blanket that he began drying the boy's cold, wet hair with.

"What? What is it, baby?"

"Blaine, _p-please_," he moaned, his eyes falling shut again and his body curling it on itself, "I – I'm s-so _cold_, I… I need you, _please_."

Blaine's eyes widened and he nodded frantically, tossing the now-wet blanket aside, his thoughts suddenly scattered as there was now something he could actually be doing. He began looking around the room as though something would help him collect his thoughts.

_Right, right. Kurt needs me. I need to get him warm. Come on, come on! Um, um, um, um – clothes! First, get out of wet clothes!_

Without a second thought, Blaine stripped himself of his own clothes, finding they had gotten completely soaked as well, whether it was due to his brief time out in the weather, or his struggling to hold Kurt and haul him around, he didn't know.

After being completely void of any clothes, Blaine practically dove beneath the covers, crawling over to Kurt and wrapping his arms around the thin boy. He had to tell himself to _not_ flinch away, but goosebumps ran all along his body as he came in contact with his boyfriend's freezing skin.

Kurt shifted so that they were facing each other, and Blaine immediately accommodated the new position, pulling Kurt in closer and bringing his leg up to wrap around Kurt's thigh, trying to reach every inch he possibly could of the boy's too-cold skin so he could heat it up, noting that the pale boy's heartbeat was frantic and fast, which concerned him extremely.

_Maybe I should have taken him to the medical wing… _

After a good few minutes, when Blaine heard Kurt's shaky breath even out and the trembling in his shoulders subsided, he let out a long sigh of relief. His boyfriend's heart had reached an even, moderate beat, matching his own tempo. He let his eyes fall shut as his adrenalin rush came down, and slowly began running his hands up and down the boy's smooth back.

Up and down, up and down, up and down… He could feel the skin beneath his hands getting warmer…

He heard a long, breathy release of his own name, "_Blaine,_" from his boyfriend's lips, and his actions stopped, his eyes opening slowly to take in Kurt's chapped lips, parted slightly and swollen from the cold, seemingly taking deep breaths as he had apparently fallen asleep.

He blinked, appreciating the peaceful sight in front of him, and resumed his rubbing Kurt's back. As the color began to return to the pale boy's face – the small bit of color that was usually present, anyway – Blaine let himself relax into the mattress of Kurt's bed, realizing he'd never been in it before with him, when it was just the two of them.

Blaine's eyes widened and he took in a sharp breath.

He was naked.

In bed. With Kurt.

_Who was also naked_.

As this concept dawned on him, his senses all of a sudden decided to work properly, and he noticed the bare skin of his penis was brushing up against Kurt's, something he hadn't felt before this moment, something he hadn't _noticed_ before this very moment... He wasn't _hard_. He was simply unclothed, but still… The idea alone had him feeling an overwhelming sense of intimacy with this beautiful boy in his arms.

Why was it that Kurt and him naked together in bed doing _nothing _even _remotely_ sexual felt like such a huge deal to him? It could be the fact that he and Kurt hadn't had sex yet, _hadn't_ seen each other properly naked yet, and that this was uncharted territory…

Or it could be that Blaine Anderson was absolutely, shamelessly, undeniably in _love_ with Kurt Hummel…his gorgeous boyfriend…

Yeah, it was probably that…

His gorgeous boyfriend…that someone – no, not someone, _Renny – _had nearly _killed._ This was not going to end well for that boy, Blaine knew that much. He pushed aside the fuming anger that consumed him for a moment, and tried to breathe through the feeling of his blood boiling… Just for a moment. He'd deal with that later.

After all, he was in bed with his boyfriend, who was now safe, so Blaine pulled Kurt flush up against him, feeling every ounce of skin-on-skin, and treasuring it. The overwhelming heat beneath all the layers of blankets and covers made Blaine feel drowsy and he realized how much energy, physical, mental _and_ emotional, that he'd just put out in just the past hour.

He deserved a nap with his boyfriend. So much.

* * *

><p>"No. <em>Fuck<em> no… Is _this_ what all this shit today was about? You guys ditched so you could _fuck_?"

Thad walked into his shared room and scanned the area, followed shortly by Nick and David, who did the same. Granted, it did look suspicious. There were clothes scattering the ground – underwear included – and not to mention the fact that Blaine, in his slumbering attempt to get more comfortable, had rid himself of most of the blankets, and half of his bare ass was visible as he was lying on his stomach.

"Get your _damn_ pants on, Anderson. No one wants to see that shit," Thad huffed, his expression tight and angry-looking. He reached down without looking and grabbed the first article of clothing he could find on the floor and chucked it at Blaine's sleeping form, which happened to be _Kurt's _sweatpants, causing a stir from the curly-haired boy.

"_Mmmm_ – whus goin' on…? _Kurt…_?" Blaine propped himself up on his forearms and eyed his surroundings, picking up and looking down curiously at the article of clothing that had been tossed onto his head with his mostly-closed eyes. He brushed his curls from his face, which was still screwed up from being woken up so abruptly, and twisted around, only to find Thad staring down at him, looking furious, and sighed, falling back down onto the bed face-first. "Whuh do you _want_, Thad?" He attempted, his voice highly muffled through the pillow.

Thad smiled tightly and sarcastically. "Gee, B. Well, since you asked so damn kindly… I'd _appreciate_ not to come back to naked guys in my room! What the fuck? We didn't know what the hell was going on! We tried texting you, you could have told us you ditched to fuck your boyfriend!"

At his words, Blaine flipped over and sat up, eyeing the boy incredulously. _Didn't Trent tell them…? _Before he could get any words out of explanation, Thad approached the foot of the bed.

"_Wakey, wakey_, Kurtie! Up and at 'em! Rise and _shine_!" He spoke with attitude, gripping the end of the comforter Kurt was cuddled up in, and Blaine was partially covered by, and yanked it from their bodies, resulting in the pale boy's naked form to be exposed, as well as the rest of Blaine's.

Kurt immediately sprung up to a sitting position, looking scandalized and confused around the room, taking a split-second before looking down at himself and gasping, curling himself into Blaine's side and bringing his legs up shakily in some kind of humiliated attempt to cover himself. "_Stop_!"

The three boys standing burst into laughter, watching Kurt and his obvious embarrassment. Blaine looked absolutely livid and opened his mouth to speak when it happened.

The moment of laughter died immediately. The three Warblers took in the bruises and marks covering their fair-skinned friend's back and legs, seeing something had clearly happened…

Blaine, though, hadn't seen their realization, and reached forward to pull the blanket from Thad's hands, yanking it over himself and his boyfriend, effectively covering them both back up. "Fuck you guys! What's your problem? Leave him the fuck alone!" Blaine spat at them, then his expression softened as he turned to his boyfriend, who was still shamefully hiding his face in Blaine's arm, just shaking his head as the curly-haired boy tried to sooth him by petting his head gently.

The others still stood, mostly in shock of the situation, until Nick stepped forward hesitantly, his eyes darting between the two boys. "Blaine – I – _Kurt_, we – we're sorry… I… What… What happened?"

"Well…" Blaine blinked a few times, licking his lips, letting his eyes fall downcast as his anger settled slightly. He sighed then, shifting his gaze towards his boyfriend, who remained curled up against him, obviously painfully embarrassed at his recent exposure. "Babe, why don't you – ? I mean, you never told me exactly what happened…" But Blaine could just feel Kurt tense and shake his head subtly at the suggestion.

"Blaine… Blaine, baby, please… I just… I'm tired. And I don't feel well…"

The curly-haired boy pulled his lips in tightly and nodded, and ran his hand down his boyfriend's back. "Okay, okay… Well I'm just gonna – if it's okay with you – ? Do you care if I tell them?" Kurt paused a few seconds before shaking his head gently, and Blaine nodded softly in response, then blinked a few times thoughtfully. "I thought Trent would've told you –"

"We didn't have class with him again, yet… _And, _after _you _ran off during English this morning, we were all freaking out. And Trent didn't come back, and we couldn't get a hold of him…_either_," Thad added the last part looking pointedly at Blaine, referencing to the boy not answering his phone , who shook his head solemnly in response, silently expressing that he wanted to continue. The other boys nodded to him.

"Well, yeah. So," he sighed, rubbing Kurt's back again and glancing down at the boy, "Trent found him _zip-tied_ to the – the doors of Arts… And he knew I carry a knife, so he texted me there. And… Kurt… Well, he was obviously freezing," he closed his eyes tightly, his brows furrowing together, as though getting angry at the mere _memory_ of the situation, "and so – so we brought him back here to – oh, and Trent. He had to go because he's still on probation and I didn't want him to get into more trouble… But I brought him here and started…warming him up…"

David's eyebrows furrowed together and he approached the bed, eyeing the curled-up boy curiously and cautiously. "What's his – ? Did you take his temperature…?" He reached out a tentative hand to Kurt's forehead at Blaine's shaking head, to which the fair boy flinched back from, and his shoulders began irregularly giving small shakes. "Kurt. Relax," he breathed out, eyeing the surrounding blankets and pulling them up around the boy, which Blaine took over for him, tucking them around his boyfriend tightly. David observed for a half-second before stalking off into the bathroom, followed by the eyes of the fully-awake occupants of the room.

He returned after a few moments of audible fumbling and rustling in the bathroom with a small thermometer and a few gray packs. "What are those?" Jeff inquired lightly, looking at the items in the dark-skinned boy's hands.

David tossed the gray packs onto the bed and then began messing with the thermometer, watching it attentively as it turned on, making sure it worked properly. After a few seconds, he shook his head, coming out of his focus and approaching Kurt in his bed again. He looked at Jeff, as the blonde was still looking at him with an expectant look, and gestured to the gray packs, to which Jeff nodded. "Heat packs – actually – can you guys activate those?" David reached a hand out to pull Kurt's face towards him and placed the thermometer in his mouth, then glanced back over to Jeff and Thad, who were hesitantly picking up the packs and eyeing them questioningly and turning them over in their hands. "Just – just, like, squeeze them. They'll heat up really fast."

Blaine sat and watched the whole situation, still clutching onto Kurt's naked body and rubbing up and down his arms in hope of helping. The thermometer made a series of beeping noises, all fast and high-pitched, and David hissed a swear under his breath as he removed it from Kurt's mouth.

"What?" Blaine asked quickly, finding his voice embarrassingly thick from being so tense.

David didn't answer immediately, but instead pressed various buttons on the small device, eyes squinting and head shaking subtly as none of them seemed to do what he wanted. He opened his mouth to respond to Blaine, but his eyes were caught by Thad and Jeff about to place the now-heated packs beneath the blankets, against Kurt. "No, no, no, no – don't put it right on his skin. Just – yeah, like that," he nodded as they simply pressed the heat packs against the blankets surrounding the small boy, then turned to Blaine. "Yeah, this thermometer doesn't register temperatures below…_mmm_, probably 94 or 95 degrees. So…he's probably under that, still." At his curly-haired friend's concerned expression and his worried glance to his boyfriend, David added, "those should help, though. I'm sure he'll warm up… You did a really good job so far, B."

* * *

><p>"Um, well… We're gonna head off to next period. Are you gonna…? Or are you gonna stay here with him?" Jeff asked Blaine as the three of them began pulling on their coats, watching the curly-haired boy sprawled out on Kurt's bed, clad in only a clean pair of his boyfriend's boxers.<p>

"No – yeah. I'm – I'm gonna stay here with him… I should…" He sat up, glancing at the clock on his bedside table, a determined look on his face as he began looking around him, until locating the thermometer lying amongst the blankets, "I should actually take his temperature again… I'll see you guys later… Um…" The three boys halted near the door, turning to face their friend as they adjusted their coats and warm-weather clothing. "It was…really cool of you guys to help out like this..." The boys all nodded with slight smiles and Thad gave a small wave before they exited the room.

Blaine watched them go and then stood up and stretched his arms above his head, sucking in a shaky yawn before heading towards the bathroom door. "Kurt? Can I come in?"

There was a brief pause before, "yes," was breathed out quietly in that voice Blaine recognized so well.

Blaine entered the room and saw Kurt, bundled up in various layers of dry clothes, placing a towel down on the counter and looking intently at his reflection in the mirror, most likely at the various small cuts and marks, an almost stoic expression on his face. "Babe, are you okay?"

Kurt's turned around, leaning against the counter, and his face suddenly softened and he tilted his head, smiling at his boyfriend affectionately and just truly appreciating his kind nature, for perhaps the first time that day due to his proper clarity beginning to return. "I – yes. Yes, I am," a smirk curled up onto his lips, and he pushed himself off from the counter and approached Blaine, loosely wrapping his arms around him. "Thanks to," he smiled, tightening his grasp slightly, "no one in particular…" He rolled his eyes, taking in Blaine's seemingly confused face.

"…I…"

Kurt giggled very softly, hardly audible, at his boyfriend's speechless manner, and pressed a soft, slow kiss to his lips, then pulled away, and looked pointedly at the thermometer in the other boy's hands, causing the curly-haired teen to remember his initial intentions of entering the room.

"Right – right, I wanted to – um. I mean, you should take your temperature again…"

Kurt pouted slightly at the suggestion teasingly, looking at Blaine with puppy-dog eyes. "_Mmmm_… Okay," and he dropped his jaw, eyes at the ceiling playfully as Blaine stared at him, appearing dumbstruck. At this face, Kurt dropped his façade and chuckled, a little sadly, grabbing the thermometer and sticking it in his mouth.

They both waited for a few moments until the steady beeping of the device informed the two boys that it was done reading. Before Kurt could reach for the stick, Blaine grasped it and scanned the numbers himself. "97.9… That's – it's," he looked up to his boyfriend, who was softly smiling, "it's _almost_ back to normal…"

"Good…" Kurt spoke quietly, bringing his arms up around his curly-haired boyfriend's neck, pulling him into a tight embrace and letting out a small hum of contentment as they swayed back and forth slightly. Blaine held him back just as passionately, and a few moments passed, both boys just blinking and looking thoughtful. "So…" His voice took a different tone, and he breathed out lightly, letting his eyes fall shut and his face nuzzling down into Blaine's shoulder. "…I think…I wanna take a bath."

"A bath."

"…_Mmhmm_…"

Blaine nodded slowly, seeming to be contemplative. "Yeah, I think… I think that would be okay. Should I – ? Do you want me to leave?"

Kurt pulled out of the hug and eyed his boyfriend cautiously. He figured it would be safe to ask, after everything that happened. After seeing each other, and _feeling_ each other, before, in the bedroom. His reasons were sincere, after all, but he was still hesitant to pose the question.

"I was actually thinking… Maybe… Could – could you help me get out of these clothes? And – and into the tub…?" Blaine's eyebrows shot up at the question, and he stuttered out a small noise, but before he could properly answer, Kurt cut in to defend himself. "I – I – It's just that – I'm really _sore_ still. And I, um, I'm still pretty dizzy. I just don't want to –"

"Kurt –"

"If it would be weird, though, that's fine. I know we haven't had – haven't, uh, you know, and we've hardly really seen each other naked, but –"

"Kurt." After seeing that he had positively gotten the pale boy's attention, he tilted his head slightly to the side. "Kurt, it's okay... Of course I'll help you. We… You don't have to be shy around me…okay?" Kurt nodded slowly, and swallowed, thickly and audibly. "Here, I'll run the bath. Just…stay here for a sec."

Blaine quickly moved to start the faucets, adjusting the water until it was a warm and comfortable temperature. As he set the plug in, he heard Kurt behind him suck in a hiss of pain, and sprung up, returning to his boyfriend as he pale boy was seemingly attempting to pull off his outer sweater, and holding the side of his rib, wincing slightly.

"Babe, I thought we agreed I'd help you with this…" Blaine teased, but there was a soft, worried look present in his face as well as he very carefully removed the sweater, cautious to not pull any limbs or strain any unnecessary parts.

"I thought I'd be able to get off a damn sweater," Kurt grumbled, his lips pulled into a tight line.

After a good minute, Kurt had gotten stripped down to his boxers and a tank top, almost entirely due to the help of Blaine, and the fair-skinned boy moved to pull the hem of his shirt up, but Blaine took over for him, giving him a small look before pulling it fully over his head. When he discarded the top on the floor, his breath hitched, taking in the sight before him.

Kurt's bruises had become even more defined since Blaine had clothed him a half hour or so beforehand. There were big, lighter ones covering the majority of his naked torso, and a few deep, purplish-brown ones that adorned his ribcage, and one that disappeared beneath the line of his boxers. Blaine attempted to make eye contact with his boyfriend, but Kurt was busy eyeing the ceiling with effort to look casual, but there were obvious tears present in his eyes that were trying to not fall.

"Here," Blaine breathed, sensing the change in mood, and feeling the increasing shaking in his boyfriend's body, and led him to sit down on the edge of the bathtub, turning it off as it was mostly full. He knelt in front of Kurt's sitting form and tried not to focus on the large, swollen kneecap his boyfriend had been attempting to support himself on all day.

Blaine knew that Kurt had most likely been in shock right after… Right after whatever it is _happened_, happened.

And he knew that his boyfriend had gone into a partially-unconscious state while he had been at the worst of his moderate hypothermia, not able to fully comprehend or deal with the reality of it all.

And Blaine knew that his precious, vulnerable Kurt tried to play the situation off like a joke, make funny remarks, act playfully and teasingly, and ignore the severity of the attack, ignore that this violence could have _killed_ him.

But he looked up at the beautiful boy in front of him, and he knew something else.

He knew that the reality of what happened had just hit this pale boy, and he was so close to falling apart that there might be nothing Blaine could do to hold him together. Which might be a good thing.

Because maybe Kurt needed to fall apart.

Blaine made to reach towards Kurt's underwear, but pulled his hand back. "Um," he blinked a few times, running his hand softly up his boyfriend's leg, getting him to finally make eye contact with him, and gestured vaguely to the boxers. "This okay?" He pinched the material between his fingers and played with it for a moment, watching Kurt's eyes for his reaction.

When the other boy gave a shaky, quick nod and raised his hips slightly, trembling slightly as he tried to support himself, Blaine tugged the boxers down, and pulled them from his feet, and he heard his boyfriend suck in a shuddering breath. As soon as he was completely naked, Blaine quickly supported him enough to help lower him into the tub, into the warm water.

A brief moment passed while Blaine watched Kurt, seeing that he was alright and that the water temperature didn't need to be adjusted. All the while, Kurt seemed to be holding his breath, his face screwing up as he tried to remain calm. Then, Blaine moved behind the pale boy and placed firm hands on his shoulders, making sure to avoid any obvious sore spots, and began rubbing small circles in the soft skin.

The touch seemed to be all it took for Kurt to break down. He jolted forward with an unsteady sob, his eyes clamping closed and the tears that tried so hard to not fall, fell.

"Hey, hey, hey… _Shhh_, hey…" Blaine leaned forward, hugging the slight boy from behind, wrapping his arms delicately around his boyfriend's chest. He tried for a moment to think of something that would get across what he was feeling. Something to express that…

That everything would be okay.

That this wasn't Kurt's fault.

That he was better than those horrible, disgusting, homophobic _assholes_ that did this to him.

That he would get past this, and that…

That he was there for him. That Blaine was, and would always…be there for him.

Instead, he cradled the boy's head into his chest, rocking him back and forth slightly, just holding him, just loving him, even if he couldn't say it out loud yet… He could feel the heat sparking between them as he just held his crying boyfriend, and Blaine leaned forward and pressed a hard kiss to the top of Kurt's head, his lips lingering there for a while as he breathed slowly out of his nose, hoping some of the love he was so afraid to express could be passed to his boyfriend through this brief contact.

And as Kurt's crying died down, and as his breathing began hitching in its slow settling, Blaine thought maybe some of it did.

* * *

><p>"Come in," Blaine called out halfheartedly, not taking his attention away from the phone he was turning over in his hands.<p>

Kurt peeked his head in and smiled softly at the sight of Blaine sitting on his bed, then entered the room and closed the door behind himself. "Hey, babe," he greeted the other boy lightly, leaning over him and placing his hands on Blaine's shoulders, following his gaze to the phone in his hands and kissing the side of his head.

At the physical touch, Blaine seemed to come back into reality, shifting his gaze to his boyfriend. "Hmmm, hey," he replied, sounding distracted, but turned his head to meet the pale boy's pink lips.

Kurt moved to sit down beside his boyfriend, and then glanced around the room, stiffening at the sight around him. "What's all this?"

Blaine shot a look at Kurt, seeing his gesture to all the packed bags and possessions. "Just got a call from my mother. Or my mother's a_ssistant_, rather. Wanted to 'inform me' that my mom 'requested my presence this holiday'… So I guess someone's coming to pick me up in, like, an hour." He let out a scoffing, angry breath and just shook his head, trying to calm himself down.

Kurt made a sympathetic noise, rubbing his hand down his boyfriend's back. "Baby –"

"No. No, fuck it. It's fine. I should have expected this, I just… Whatever. It doesn't matter…" He waved an aggravated, dismissive hand in Kurt's direction, causing the other boy to flinch back slightly. Blaine breathed for a few moments before turning to his boyfriend, his thoughts shifting. "So, how are you feeling? Better?"

Kurt watched the curly-haired boy's face for a moment, seeing his obviously still-upset expression, but allowing him to change the subject. "I – yeah. Yes, I'm fine. And the weather's gotten a lot better out, so…at least if someone ties me up again out there, I might not get hypothermia," Kurt made an pathetic attempt at lightening the situation, an awkward smile in place. Blaine winced at the bad humor, but he did end up cracking a small smile. Kurt's lips twitched up slightly in return, feeling somewhat victorious in helping his boyfriend's mood shift, and ran his hand along the boy's upper arm. "But really. Are _you_ okay? I know it upsets you when your parents do this kind of stuff…"

Blaine tensed noticeably at the question, but nodded immediately. "I – whatever. Yeah, it doesn't matter… It's just two weeks… I just… Just fucking _drop it_, okay…? I really should finish packing my shit…"

"Do you need any help? I can –"

"No, _Kurt_, I'll be _fine_," he snapped, cutting Kurt off, and the icy feeling radiated from his body. Kurt hadn't seen this side of his boyfriend in a while. The wall, the façade he put up to protect himself. Blaine turned his eyes away from the pale boy, staring blankly at the wall for a few moments as Kurt stood up and made towards the door. "Look, I'll see you down in the common room when I bring all my stuff down there."

"O-okay… I'll see you then…"

* * *

><p>"Hey B, how's…?" Nick trailed off and eyed the backpack and small duffel the curly-haired boy was carrying curiously. "You…leaving for break?"<p>

Blaine tossed the bags onto the floor unceremoniously and sunk down into a chair beside Wes. "Apparently, yes, I am."

The boys in the room all exchanged knowing glances, eyebrows rising. "Mother dearest decide she wants you home for all the Anderson-family Christmas cheer?" Wes drawled out, turning to face his friend with an arched eyebrow.

Blaine let out an aggravated huff. "Seriously. I don't even – ugh! My father probably thought it would look good for his damn campaign to have the family all _together_ for Christmas. His precious little boy returning from his 'studying abroad trip in Europe'! For fuck's sake…" He ran a hand over his face in annoyance, then looked around him, a slightly surprised look coming onto his face. "Kurt not here yet?"

A few of the Warblers shrugged. "He was still packing up his shit when I came down here," Thad told him from his place sitting against the small table in the center of the room. "I'm pretty sure he's taking his entire fucking wardrobe back to his house," he breathed out in a laugh, shaking his head at his roommate.

Blaine pursed his lips slightly and nodded, obvious conflict on his face.

"I'm sure he'll be down in a minute," Jeff reasoned, seeing the look on his friend's face. "Did you need to see him right now, or…?"

Blaine immediately shook his head, coming out of his slight daze. "No, no. I just… We sort of… I just kinda snapped at him earlier and we said we'd meet down here, so I wanted to…you know."

"Apologize, make sweet gay babies, and confess your undying love to him?" Nick offered with a straight face, his tone genuinely curious as though it would be a viable option. The others in the group laughed at this, and Blaine rolled his eyes, going along with the joke.

"Ha. But, whatever. I just kinda felt bad…" Blaine trailed off, instead pulling his phone out of his pocket and composing a quick text to his boyfriend.

_hey u comin down 2 the commons? n sry about earlier – B_

_Yes, yes. I'm just trying to figure out how to pack everything I need into a single duffel bag and suitcase. And…what about earlier? – K _

Blaine raised an eyebrow at this. Surely Kurt had noticed the way Blaine had acted before?

_just wen I snappd at u back in my room. sry about that – B _

_Oh, I didn't really notice, to be honest. – K _

_o. well i still feel bad. didnt mean 2 be a dick – B _

_Yeah… Well, I'm gonna go. I need to finish packing, but I'll be down in a minute. – K _

Kurt looked down at his phone as he sent the last message. He knew exactly what Blaine was referring to, but he didn't want to talk about it more than it needed to be discussed. It _hurt_ when Blaine had lost his temper with him, but he figured if he pretended to not notice Blaine's icy mood swing, it would allow his boyfriend to not feel bad over snapping at him, and Kurt could try to forget about the outburst altogether, and not get worked up over something that didn't truly matter.

* * *

><p>Blaine's eyebrows furrowed together as he stared blankly at the last message sent by Kurt. Had he really not…noticed? The curly-haired boy let out a confused sigh and closed his phone, placing it back in his pocket, and stared blankly at the room before him.<p>

"Was that Kurt?" Nick inquired, getting the attention of the others as well as he directed the question to Blaine.

"_Yeah_…" Blaine drew out the word, still thoroughly confused at how the short conversation had gone down.

David took notice of this behavior and tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow slightly. "He pissed?"

Blaine blinked thoughtfully for a few moments before letting out a disbelieving scoff. "No. He's – no, he didn't notice anything about…how I was a dick before…" The others in the room shrugged, most of them losing interest, a few humming in agreement to the oddity of the situation. Blaine leaned back in his seat, placing his hands behind his head and squinting his eyes in confusion, letting his gaze wander to the ceiling. "Maybe he's _pretending_ to be okay…but he's _not_…and he's mad at me…"

Trent looked up at Blaine from where he was playing cards with Jeff and Thad on the floor. "Sounds like a _chick_ thing to do… Then again, Kurt _is_ kind of a chick most of the time…" The bigger teen mused absently, laying a card down and directing his attention away from the conversation.

Blaine let his mouth fall open at the casual statement of insult, and was about to violently defend his boyfriend, but figured it was no use. Instead, he left them with an airy and slightly smug, "_Kurt_…is more of a _man_ than you guys…will _ever_ know…" He let out a breathy laugh, his mind drifting to the sexy, hot and heavy moments he had experienced with his boyfriend. Granted, they weren't frequent, but _oh_, they were worth the wait…

"He finally put out?" Thad questioned him with amused disbelief, not taking his eyes off the cards in front of him, earning an annoyed smack from Jeff, who gave him a disapproving look, shaking his head slightly. "What?" He turned his attention to Blaine, actually shifting his gaze to him. "Did he?"

"Well… No, but –"

"Knew it."

"Dude, Thad! He got… He got _raped_. No _shit_ he's gonna want to wait a while," Blaine huffed, eyeing the entrance of the common room, making sure it was still void of certain pale-skinned boys. "And I don't need to fuck him to know he's a man…"

At this, Wes turned to Blaine, eyebrow raised in surprise. "Wait… He hasn't had sex at _all_ yet? Or he hadn't had sex with _you_ yet…? Since the, um… Since the rape, I mean."

Blaine seemed taken aback by the question. "I – I don't _know_. Probably not at all…" He stuttered over his response a little, not enjoying the idea of Kurt having sex with anyone other than him. "I mean, he was in _jail_ for a lot of the time after it, so, yeah. Probably not at all..." The others in the room exchanged a few looks and Blaine furrowed his eyebrows at their expressions. "What?"

David moved to sit beside Blaine's other side in the empty seat there and looked thoughtful before responding. "How long ago was that, anyway?"

"The rape? I don't know, nine, ten months ago…? It was in March, I think. "

Wes and David shared a look past their curly-haired friend and David continued. "And… I mean, he's had other boyfriends before, right?"

Blaine opened his mouth, about to attempt a response, but he shut it and furrowed his eyebrows together, giving the dark-skinned boy a suspicious look. "Okay, what the fuck are you getting at?"

"Look, B, it's just that… He said he's had sex before, we can assume he's had boyfriends before…?"

Blaine tilted his head skeptically, still not entirely sure of this conversation. "I – sure. Sure, yeah, I guess…" He thought back to his boyfriend's brief mentions of his previous sex experiences, and his obvious views on 'hooking up' with guys… Not to mention his talented – so, _so_ talented – mouth. This boy no doubt had been in relationships before…

"Okay… So. That being said… You really think he'd wait this long…? I mean, it's been what – a month since you've been together?"

Blaine's face scrunched up in anger. "Are you – are you fucking _serious_, David? He was _raped_, and he – just because he's had sex before doesn't – doesn't mean that he's ready right _now_! I – _ugh_ – I can't _believe_ you guys. Are you trying to say that my boyfriend is – holding out on me to be a _prude_?"

The group in the common room all made some kind of uncomfortable eye contact until Wes shrugged to Jeff, urging him to speak, as he usually had the best way with words in such topics. "Not…exactly. Just… He's had boyfriends before, he's done this all before… He might not be that _serious_ about you… And we've noticed lately how you've been around him… Like…how you were really protective over him this – this _morning_ and –"

"_Protective_? He almost _froze_ to death! And I thought we established this weekend that I _love_ him? Isn't that something that people do when they're in _love_?"

"But does he love you back?" Jeff asked softly, hardly audible, afraid to meet the other boy's eyes. A thick silence followed the question, and Blaine's anger dropped and was replaced with a worried, hurt expression.

"I… O-of _course_ he does. We…" Blaine trailed off, his eyes finding the floor as he thought about the other boy, rethinking and questioning their relationship.

"He said he did?"

"Well, _no_, but I mean, I haven't told him either… I just…" Blaine's expression shifted back to an angry one and he let out a huff of annoyance. "What the fuck is wrong with you guys? Are you just trying to ruin my fucking relationship?"

Thad chucked the cards in his hands, causing them to scatter all around the floor in front of him. "For fuck's sake!" He turned around to face the curly-haired boy with a fed-up expression dominating his features. "_Listen_, B. We thought you were gonna fuck this up, and fuck him over. And _now_, we're pretty sure _you're_ the one getting fucked over."

"_Excuse_ me?"

"We don't want you to think all of a sudden that – that you're in this _relationship_, and that everything's freaking perfect! Because you've never done this before, and you might not _see _that he's not that fucking into you!"

"You _really_ think he's not _into_ me?"

"We're not…" Wes sighed, running his hand through his hair, "…_saying_ that, necessarily, B. We're just… We want you to be careful, okay? Don't get so damn caught up in him just because he's your first boyfriend..."

Blaine made a face at this statement, but the room fell into relative silence for a few minutes, before a loud, clear voice rang through the room.

"Hold your _applause_, gentlemen. Kurt Hummel has arrived…" The fair-skinned boy entered the room with an exaggerated sigh, hauling a heavy-looking suitcase and two over-stuffed duffels into the room. He placed his hands on his hips and eyed the luggage. "I ended up just going with another bag… _I'm_ not the one who's going to be carrying it anyway…" He smiled mock-charmingly and then glanced up to the boys in the room, and his face fell. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Trent breathed as he picked up his abandoned cards with a sense of believability and nonchalance, "unless you count Blaine's mom being a crazy bitch as something…"

Blaine watched Kurt's face hungrily for his reaction, but only got an arched eyebrow and a slow nodding of his head. "I see," Kurt breathed out, still feeling slightly guilty for his false-ignorance towards his boyfriend from earlier.

"Yeah," Blaine chuckled suddenly, his tone conveying his awkward mood, "old news… Um, Kurt?"

Kurt plopped down onto the floor beside Nick and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "Yeah, babe?"

"They have coffee in the Main Office… Probably for people coming to pick their kids up. Do… you wanna go grab some with me?" Blaine's expression was painfully eager, hoping his boyfriend would want to spend time with him.

Hoping that his boyfriend was as 'into' him as he was him.

Hoping that his boyfriend…loved him?

Kurt yawned and lay down on the floor, letting his heavy eyelids fall shut. "_Mmm_, Blaine, I'm _so_ exhausted from today... As much as caffeine would probably _help_, I'm not sure I can move right now…" He giggled the last part softly, then relaxed into the carpeted floor, letting his head fall to the side.

"I – okay. Yeah, that's… I just thought maybe we could…spend a little time together before we both leave for two weeks…"

Kurt opened his eyes at this and sat up slowly, a curious eyebrow raised. "Baby, we've spent the entire day together…" He shot one last look at his boyfriend and lowered himself back onto the floor. Of course he loved spending alone time with Blaine… But he truly _was_ exhausted… And after the whole situation earlier…and now Blaine seemed to be acting…passive-aggressive?

"No, that's fine… You're right… We just have a half hour before we're getting picked up and I thought you might want to spend it with me… But that's fine." Blaine was frustrated now… Why didn't his boyfriend just get some damn coffee with him?

Kurt shot up to a sitting position, eyebrows furrowed together. He let out a scoff. "_Blaine_. I'm fucking tired. If you recall today's events, I nearly froze to death and had the shit kicked out of me. Excuse me if I want to _relax_ a little bit!"

"Well excuse _me_ if I want to see you before you leave!"

"It's only _two weeks_, Blaine!"

_"I'm gonna miss you so much…"_

_Kurt giggled, realizing it was late and that the first round of security would be coming by soon to do hallway and lounge checks. He nudged Blaine, implying silently that it was time to go back to their rooms. As they began pulling their shirts back on, Kurt turned to his boyfriend. __"It's two weeks, babe…"_

Blaine let out a surprised scoff. Of course. How had he not seen it before? Kurt didn't care. He was making this all up in his head, wasn't he? "Do you even _care_ that you're gonna be away from me?"

Kurt's mouth fell open at this accusation. "_C-care_? Do I _care_?"

At this point, the other six boys in the room had gotten to their feet, and Trent had mumbled something along the lines of 'coffee?', getting a response from Nick that appeared to be, 'yes, coffee sounds way less awkward than listening in on their first fight.'

"Yes, _Kurt_. I _believe _that's what I asked."

Kurt came to his feet, his features turning into an expression of confusion more than anything else. "I… Of _course _I _care_, Blaine, I –" He let out a distressed sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. "I can't believe we're even having this conversation right now…" Blaine stood, blinking rapidly and not saying anything in response, his angry look still in place. "Well… Now that I'm up, I suppose I'm going to go get that coffee… Feel free to join me," he added and began walking towards the exit. When he sensed the other boy not following him, he turned around again, this time with a softer expression. "If not… I'll see you in the parking lot outside in a little bit…"

Blaine watched as his boyfriend left the room, and the anger inside of him came to a boiling point, mostly at the situation.

And himself.

He let out a strangled grunt and punched the wall closest to him, getting some kind of satisfaction out of the slight dent the wall suffered and the throbbing pain that resulted in his hand.

As soon as the anger peaked, it dissipated. He let his breath even out and his head hung down, his eyes falling shut. What was he doing? Was he making something up out of nothing?

He couldn't deny that there were a couple instances that he was worried about the equality of love between Kurt and him, but it was mostly due to the fact that Blaine had never been in a relationship before. He had _no_ idea what it was supposed to be like… When the others had brought it up… It just hit a sore spot. And it made him truly question his whole relationship… And he knew, deep down, that some of the anger he had just expressed originated from earlier that day, and _should_ have been directed at the assholes that hurt his precious boyfriend… Not directed at the victim, himself! On top of all of that, Blaine knew he always got angsty when his parents surprised him with a family get-together…

…He really fucked up.

* * *

><p>"And be <em>careful<em> with that one, too. It has most of my Armani collection," Kurt sighed, sounding bored, as he pointed to his second duffel and watched his stepbrother raise an eyebrow at him.

"Are you serious? Dude, you know you're not even allowed to _leave the house_ –"

"_Yes_, Finn. I know –"

"And most of this stuff is, like, _outside clothes_ –"

"Finn! Don't look inside of those!" Kurt gasped, horrified, leaping up from his position leaning against his Navigator to snatch the bag from his nosy brother, wincing at his sore limbs. "And you _touched_ everything. Why would you – ? I had this all clean and _perfectly_ arranged," he sighed, shaking his head, almost in disappointment as he packed the duffel himself into the backseat of the car and leaned against it. "I sometimes can't believe we're _brothers_…"

"You guys aren't _real_ brothers, you know… Not _related_," Thad commented randomly from where he sat on the curb by the parked cars, blowing out smoke from his cigarette and eyeing the small crowd of boys, taking their things to their respective vehicles.

"I –" Kurt sighed, grasping the bridge of his nose with his finger and thumb, "I – I _know_, Thad. I'm just – It's an expression… Someone _I'm_ related to is romantically involved with someone _he's_ related to… I can't figure out how our two specific sets of DNA mingle…" Kurt shrugged as the rest of his group came out into the waiting area in front of the parking lot, hauling their own bags with them. His eyes focused particularly on a curly-haired boy with hot, hazel eyes. Hazel eyes that looked especially distressed at the moment.

Thad, however, decided to continue the conversation and turn it specifically humiliating. "Kurt… Didn't you totally have a huge boner for your stepbrother before your parents hooked up? You seemed to think you two could…_mingle_." Just as Kurt's roommate said this, the other boys, as well as Finn himself, had all come together to form a small group around the two other boys.

A few chuckled and laughed at this, and Kurt groaned, hiding his face. Finn stifled a laugh, seeing his brother's embarrassment. "Those were dark times, roomie. _Dark._ Times… Need I remind you this was _also_ around the same time I tried to date a _girl_?" Kurt spoke flatly, his expression deadpan.

Everyone, excluding Finn, gaped at this. Trent moved forward, holding up his hand in shock. "Wait, wait, wait – we've never heard this story. _Please_, continue…"

Kurt groaned again, shaking his head back and forth slightly. "For the love of – Forget I said anything. Finn, are we ready to go?"

The taller teen blinked stupidly for a few moments, seemingly going over a mental list in his head. "Oh – you got your meds?"

Kurt sucked in a quick breath, his cheeks flushing with heat. "Finn!"

"Sorry, sorry, just checking! Your dad wanted me to remind you just to make –"

"Yes, Finn. _Yes_. I have them. Now can we go?" Kurt closed his eyes briefly, trying to not snap at his brother. He was still not fully on good terms with the teen after the events that took place at Sectionals, but he found it was hard to stay mad at someone so…childish? Besides, Finn usually attempted to make up for being an idiot in some way or another.

"Um, can I grab a coffee first? I was up all night playing Call of Duty with Puck because I forgot I had to drive to come get you today, so –"

"Yes, fine. Go ahead…" Kurt sighed, rubbing his hand over his face in annoyance. One the bigger teen smiled and left to enter the Main Office, Kurt let out an aggravated moan. "Sometimes, I swear he's just an overgrown child who _plays_ high school…"

When no one in the group responded to his statement, he noticed the awkward air that had come to be. About half of the boys in front of him were watching Blaine carefully and the others were eyeing him with questioning looks.

Right. His fight with Blaine…

Just as he was about to say something to the curly-haired boy, Kurt's boyfriend made a subtle jerk of his head, indicating they part from the group slightly and talk privately. Kurt nodded and followed the boy that was so intensely confusing him a few yards away from the rest of their friends.

"Blaine, I –"

"No, Kurt, let me start… I was stupid. I was _making up_ shit in my head about us and – well. I _think_ I was making it up… I…" He sighed, stepping forward and placing a gentle hand on his boyfriend's shoulder, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth as he did so. "I guess… I guess I just need to straight forward ask you about all this stuff… But it's just – I… It's…" He let out a slightly shaky breath and drew his eyes away from the boy he loved, pressing his fist against his mouth in thought.

"Blaine… Blaine, you can ask me anything… We can talk about this," Kurt assured him, suddenly feeling like something he had no idea about was going on and beginning to panic over it.

Blaine swallowed and shifted his gaze back up to the piercing glasz eyes that never failed to amaze him, seeing the sincerity and warmth that was present there. He knew Kurt cared about him. How could he have thought any different? But still… He needed to ask. He needed to make sure… "Kurt… The…guys were talking to me about how they –"

"Blaine, dude –"

Blaine and Kurt turned sharply to find an almost-panic-ridden David at their side, his eyes fixed on a spot past them both, his eyes wide in some kind of shock.

"David, _please_, I need to talk to Kurt…_alone_? Can we –?"

"B, your _car_ –"

Blaine shot an almost nonexistent glance over towards the area the cars were pulling up, not actually focusing on any given vehicle, and then faced the dark-skinned boy again, nodding impatiently. "Yes, okay. I'll be done in a second. My mother's damn assistant can wait, I need to talk to my boyfriend right now –"

"No, B. _Your_ car. _Your_ BMW," David spoke slowly, this time gesturing to the lot, the slightly confused, surprised expression still in place.

At this, Blaine tensed in shock, his hand dropping from Kurt's shoulder. "_My_ – ? Why would she be driving _my_ – ?" He dropped dead silent as he turned towards the parking lot, his face falling to a look not unlike one of a man spotting a UFO or witnessing a murder. "Oh, _fucking…shit_," he breathed out, hardly, as it seemed the air in his lungs had evaporated.

A young man with dark, gelled hair and tan skin was exiting the black vehicle, a three-piece suit perfectly tailored and pressed. He resembled Blaine, though the unmistakable warmth that held the high schooler's eyes were absent, along with the curly quality of the boy's hair, replaced instead with straight, gelled locks.

The man approached the three boys, and soon the others in their group came forward as well. Blaine simply stared dumbly at the man, his eyes wide and almost frightened-looking.

"_Blaine_," he greeted, his tone of voice akin to one of an old business partner reacquainting himself with a coworker, a false, overly-bright smile in place. He stuck his hand out, somehow patronizingly, and raised an eyebrow at the curly-haired boy's blank expression.

"Jonathan…" Blaine all but choked out, grasping the hand skeptically. He flashed a look to those around him, completely unsure if the situation called for introductions. "Um… This is –"

"_Jonathan Anderson_, Blaine's older brother. It's a pleasure to meet all of you," he grinned, shoving his hand in Trent's direction first, and the teen raised an eyebrow, then shook the hand hesitantly. "Uh, Trent…" When Jonathan continued to lock his eyes with the other boy, looking at him expectantly, he added, "Nixon. Trent Nixon…"

He continued to shake hands with those around the group.

"Wes Montgomery."

"David Thompson."

"Jeff Sterling."

"Nick Duval."

"Thad," he dark-haired teen sighed, not taking his free hand out of his pocket to shake the offered one. He blew his cigarette smoke forward, not bothering to aim it in another direction.

Jonathan narrowed his eyes slightly at the boy, though kept his grin in place as his offered hand fell down to his side. "Short for Thaddeus, I presume?"

Thad cocked an eyebrow, taking another puff and blowing it out. "Short for Thaddeus…"

The man nodded, looking him over slightly. "Very good…" He turned to Kurt, the last one in the line of boys to introduce themselves, and made to bring his hand up into an offer, but flinched it back after running his eyes over the pale boy's appearance. His face fell and a slightly unpleased look flashed across his face for a brief moment, before his false grin was restored. "And you are…?

Kurt blinked a few times, confused, seeing the judgmental body language and the retracted handshake offer, but put on a small, tight smile. "I'm –"

"This is Kurt Hummel," Blaine spoke suddenly, interrupting the fair-skinned boy, a painfully false smile on his face, eerily similar to his brother's. "He's…" Blaine's eyes darted quickly to make eye contact with his boyfriend, hopefully getting across his message strongly enough. "He's _Thad's roommate_," he spoke very pointedly, making it obvious that for the purposes of Blaine's brother, Kurt was nothing else.

Jonathan didn't seem to notice the odd behavior, or if he did, he didn't say anything of it. He instead let out a hardly-noticeable scoff and nodded his head slowly. "_That_ must be a fun room…"

A few beats of silence passed until Wes sighed dramatically and made a confused gesture with his hands. "Okay, B. You…never told us you had a brother…?" He threw out there, knowing everyone was thinking the same thing.

Thad flicked his cigarette butt and folded his arms across his chest, his eyes narrowing. "In _fact_, I recall on several occasions you mentioning you were an only child…"

Blaine let out a humorless laugh and licked his lips, his eyes finding the floor. "Yeah, well… I lied," he whispered, even though he knew his brother would be able to hear him. The group of Warblers all focused their eyes on Blaine questioningly, but Jonathan's face dropped to a slightly darker look, one that was even more frightening due to the grin that accompanied it.

"Uh oh. Keeping me a secret from all your little buddies, Blaine?"

The curly-haired boy let out a faint breath, turning his head to avert his gaze even further from his brother's. "Look, Jonathan, I don't even know _what_ you're doing here –"

"Aren't you _happy_ I'm here? I haven't seen you in over a _year_ and a _half_…" He made a face at the younger boy, one of mock-hurt, grabbing his scruffy chin to force him to face his direction. When Blaine still wouldn't shift his eyes to look at the man, his gaze downcast and brows furrowed defiantly, Jonathan dropped the façade and smirked mockingly, dropping the boy's face and patting him lightly on the cheek. "Come on, brother. Mother and father are _eagerly_ waiting our return. They're so grateful you could make it back home for the holidays…" He trailed off, tilting his head sideways, his hands now clasped behind his back as his face shifted to a dangerous smirk.

"Hey Kurt, sorry it took so long! I spilled my first cup all over myself and then this lady started talking to me about her kid and she thought I was someone's dad, or something…" Finn had his signature awkward smile on as he approached the group, his coffee in hand and his shirt sporting a new, brown stain. Jonathan raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a slightly expectant look as he entered the small circle. "Um… Hi…"

At this, the man practically jumped forward, shoving his hand into Finn's direction. "Very nice to meet you, I am Jonathan Anderson, Blaine's older brother," he nodded his head, his grin threatening to split his face.

Finn furrowed his eyebrows together in slight confusion at the situation, but forced a somewhat pleasant-looking smile on his face and returned the handshake. "I'm Finn…uh…Hudson. _Kurt's_ big brother –"

"Finn, we've been over this. I'm older than you…"

"Oh. Right. Kurt's…_younger_ brother… I guess…"

Jonathan pulled his lips into a tight line, seemingly attempting to refrain from laughing. "Not related, I assume?"

Finn looked puzzled for a moment before nodding. "Uh, yeah. We're stepbrothers…"

"Of course. Well Blaine, we really should get going. The weather doesn't look too fond of us today…" He began walking off towards the shiny, black BMW, Blaine trailing along, eyeing the boys he was leaving behind with a pained expression. "It was _very nice_ to meet you all! Have safe trips home!"

As Blaine entered the passenger side of the car, he gave a small, weak wave, his eyes trained on a certain fair-skinned boy as he bit his lip sadly, watching him longingly.

Kurt returned the gesture, blinking sadly and letting his hand fall heavily after the boy he cared so much for disappeared behind the tinted windows and drove off into the weather.

* * *

><p>"I'll see you in two damn weeks, man," Nick laughed against Jeff's neck as the taller boy held him close. Jeff clamped his eyes shut and inhaled a sharp breath, willing it not to be shaky. He forced out a small giggle.<p>

"I-I know. I just… I feel _bad_ that you have to stay here for Christmas," he spoke softly, pulling away from his best friend and eyeing his reaction, wrapping his arms around himself.

Nick shrugged lightly, pulling his lips into a line. "I always do… Besides," he started, a small smile falling onto his lips, an eyebrow rising, "Trent and Thad and – and Wes are all staying here too and I don't see you holding onto _them_ for dear life…" He looked at his blonde roommate, a knowing smirk perfectly in place.

Jeff tensed slightly, heat creeping up onto his cheeks, causing him to shade a deep pink. "Uh…" He blinked a few times and brought a hand up to fiddle nervously with his lip ring, trying to think of an intelligent response.

Nick made a goofy face, scrunching his nose up slightly and let out a loud laugh, embracing the blonde teen again. He nuzzled slightly into his roommate's shoulder as the other boy began responding slightly to the contact. "I'll miss you too, bro," he whispered, the sound muffled slightly against Jeff's coat. "Hmmm…" Nick pulled back from the embrace slightly and looked past Jeff, in the direction of the parking lot. "Your sister coming to pick you up?"

Jeff quirked an eyebrow, then turned around to follow his roommate's gaze, catching the sight of the red car that belonged to his family. "No… That's my dad."

Nick nodded and hummed in response. "Well… Say hi to Sarah for me," he raised an eyebrow suggestively and let a grin fall on his lips teasingly.

Jeff let out a false, airy laugh, biting his lip and nodding. "Of course…" He brought his tongue out to run over the ring on his lip, his eyes finding the ground.

_Honk! honk! _

Both boys looked over to see the small red car had pulled up to the front of the lot, and inside, a thin blonde man was waving enthusiastically. Jeff gave one last look to his roommate and slung the strap of his bag over his shoulder, making his way to the car.

Once he scooted into the passenger seat, he smiled sheepishly to his father, who simply grinned in return, taking a little extra time to look at his son fondly. "Hey kid," he leaned over the center consul as well as he could to give his son a half-hug, "how have you been doing out here?"

"Alright," Jeff responded, his eyes wandering slightly around the interior of the car, not exactly sure if what he had just said was a lie or not. "It's been the same, really…" That sure was a lie.

His father nodded, and crept slowly up in the line of traffic moving through the lot. Once the car came to a pause again, his father turned to him. "That's good… You… You look…hungry…" The man gave a small snort of a laugh at his own words and Jeff couldn't help but crack a genuine smile. His dad was always a dork… He shrugged lightly in response to the comment. "Really though, kid. I have a half a turkey sandwich from the drive. Do you want it?"

"No, Dad, I'm good. Thanks, though."

"You sure, boy? You look like you've lost some weight."

Jeff blinked a few times, tonguing his damn lip ring – a habit he'd found himself getting addicted to – the skin sticking out from where it was being pushed from inside his mouth. "I… I've just been getting over being sick. I think I had the flu or something…" _Or something…_

"If you're sure…" His father moved up again in traffic, almost reaching the exit of the school. He turned to his son again, arching an eyebrow as he adjusted his glasses, squinting his eyes. "Now _what_ is that you've got on your lip, kid? Don't tell me that some kind of piercing-stud-ring thing going on. Is that new?"

Jeff let out a small giggle. "Yeah, dad. I just got it this weekend, actually… We, um… We went to this competition thing. For our singing group. And – yeah…"

His dad nodded, looking forward as he finally made it to the stretch of road beyond the school lot. "That's good…" There was a brief pause in conversation before, "Now I'm sure that boy Nick got some kind of…_crazy_ stud-spike thing going on too, huh? That kid was always…uh! Just a nutcase! Always knew he'd get you into trouble… And now look! Sheesh!" He shook his head, but gave his son a playful look out of the corner of his eye.

Jeff nodded, smiling fondly. "Nick got a _tattoo_, actually. It's pretty funny…"

The blonde's father just nodded again, watching the road ahead of him as he went. Jeff sighed, sinking back into his chair. He wasn't feeling too sick now, maybe the whole thing would blow over… _Yeah, the flu_… He rolled his eyes at his own stupid remarks, but his attention was caught by the memory of his neighbor…and his claims of illness… Kurt had said he was…'getting over some kind of virus', but that was well over a week ago. He seemed fine other than the vomiting Thad had overheard. But…

It seemed as though every other day since the pale boy had arrived, Jeff had heard him hacking up the contents of his body through the thin walls connecting their rooms. But if Kurt wasn't actually _ill_, then…? He…? Of course! After _all_, Kurt… Jeff needed to talk to Kurt about this. Maybe he could understand… Maybe he could understand what Jeff was going through…

"Hey now! What's all this?"

Jeff let out a quiet gasp as his father's exclamation brought him back into the present. He looked ahead of them and saw an officer of some kind having the main flow of traffic turning around or going in other directions. His dad pulled up to the cop and rolled his window down, resting his arm on the open window and sticking his head out slightly, squinting in the blustery weather.

"What's going on, here? Me and my kid are trying to get home," his dad spoke to the man, who bent down to hear him over the – wait, when did it start snowing again?

"Sorry, sir. Road's closed. Big accident down on I–270. Nine car pileup."

"Oh, jeez… Well, do you know when the road's gonna open again?"

"I'm afraid not. Though you are advised to take cover 'til the storm settles down. This is no weather for driving."

* * *

><p>"Finn," Kurt began, one arm folding over his stomach and the other pressing a fist against his mouth to contain his frustration. "Finn, do you want <em>me<em> to drive?" He let his eyes find the ceiling of the car to distract himself from the slow-moving vehicle.

Finn chanced a quick look at Kurt before turning his attention back to the road, his expression incredulous. "What? No! You don't even have a license anymore!"

Kurt dropped his hand and folded both of his arms together and narrowed his eyes, directing his gaze at his brother. "But you're driving like an idiot," he breathed out flatly.

Finn's mouth dropped open, insulted. "It's not me, dude! Traffic's, like, stopped! Maybe it's the snow… It's sort of coming down again… Should we – ? Should we just go back for now? It looks like some people are trying to get off the road to turn around…"

Kurt pulled his lips together in a tight line, not in the mood for _anything_ else to go wrong today, but nodded firmly. This, after all, was undoubtedly frustrating. Finn made a sketchy cut in front of an old pickup truck, and was able to take an exit, finding a different route back to Dalton.

As they were approaching the school, Kurt's phone vibrated in his pocket. For some reason startled by the device, he quickly pulled it from his pocket, looking at the screen. _Nick_ was calling him…?

"Nick?" He asked curiously into the line as he picked up. Perhaps he forgot something important back at the dorm…

"Kurt?" He heard the other boy let out a shaky sigh of relief. "Oh god... Where are you?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I'm… I'm actually on my way back to Dalton. Traffic was hardly moving and we hadn't even gotten onto the main road yet, so –"

"Kurt, there was a huge accident. Like 10 cars, or something, piled up on I-270," Nick mumbled out, sounding distressed at the thought. "We were trying to call you before and you didn't pick up… We were freaking out about all you guys that got on the road…"

The pale boy blinked a few times of shock at the sound of the accident, as well as the fact that he had missed calls. "I – wow. Well… Sorry I didn't hear my phone – it's on vibrate…"

"Don't worry about it."

"But we're on our way back right now. We'll be there in probably 15 minutes or so."

"Okay, I'll see you, Kurt. Later."

"Bye."

* * *

><p>Kurt shrugged his coat off as he entered the commons, eyeing the boys there with a mix of curiosity and fondness. David was curled up in a ball, almost completely covered beneath a blanket, and the only reason Kurt recognized him was due to the fact that his bare feet were sticking out. Jeff was having what appeared to be an amusing conversation with his dad and Nick, who had his phone clutched in his hand. Wes, Thad and Trent were playing cards, and by the looks of their comfortable positions splayed out on the floor, they had been there a while.<p>

A few boys acknowledged Kurt and Finn's entrance with small waves or nods, and the taller teen collapsed into one of the leather chairs in the room, and Kurt began walking over to sit beside the card-playing boys when he heard a pained moan coming from the direction of the fetal-positioned David.

Kurt jumped slightly at the sound and then cocked an eyebrow, kneeling down slightly to try to see the boy better. "David…?"

"_Ugh_!" Kurt looked to Wes for some kind of explanation, but the Asian boy just waved a hand dismissively, as though to say 'don't even ask.'

But Kurt figured he had nothing better to do. He approached the lump of person and placed a careful hand on it, an amused smile on his face. "…David…?"

"_Mmmm_! So close! _So_ close to going home!" He flung the blanket from his face and shot up into a sitting position. "Do you know how _close_ I was to going home? _Sooo_ close… Ugh!" He fell back onto the carpet with an exaggerated sigh, then pulled the blanket back up around his face so only his eyes and above were visible. "First, I almost get to go to Thanksgiving. _Now_, I almost get to go to Christmas! What's next? That's all the good ones!" His voice was muffled by the blanket, but the whiny quality rung clear.

Kurt's eyes were wide at the frantic boy. If he was honest, he'd never seen this side of David before, and he wasn't entirely sure he knew how to deal with it. "I'm…sorry…?" David just huffed something incoherent and rolled on his side to face away from Kurt.

"Don't mind him," Wes commented sassily, smirking as he rearranged a couple cards in his hand, focused, "he's on his period."

Thad cocked an eyebrow at this, and Trent snorted. "Wes, _please_. You're on your period 30 days out of the damn month," the bigger teen joked, causing the boys around him to snicker, excluding Wes, who simply rolled his eyes, huffing slightly.

Thad crushed his cigarette into the empty coffee cup he had beside him, a mock-understanding expression falling onto his face, accompanied by a smirk. "So, _one_ day a month, on months that have 31 days, of course…we get a _normal_ Wes."

Trent laughed at this, nodding his head eagerly. "_Exactly_. And what a _day_ it is!"

David sat up at this, and faced the four boys, looking thoughtful. "I think I've somehow missed _all_ of those days…"

"Oh, fuck you guys," Wes grumbled, laying a card down and attempting to change the focus of the group.

Kurt smiled at the antic of his friends, and his gaze shifted to Nick, Jeff, and his father, who was standing up and excusing himself, something about getting more coffee. Kurt approached the two other boys and sat down on a seat near them, directing his attention to Jeff. "So you and your dad had to come back, too?"

Jeff nodded slowly. "Yeah… We hardly got out of the school when we had to turn around."

Kurt hummed sympathetically, then squinted his eyes slightly in thought, taking in his surroundings. "Blaine not back yet?" The two boys shook their heads, exchanging a quick look that Kurt didn't pick up on. "Hmmm… I wonder if he made it home…"

Nick sighed slightly. "I doubt it. He has to go _right_ on that road to get home… There's no chance he made it there before the accident..." Kurt sighed slightly, remembering that Blaine left _before_ he did. He should have been back by now… "Look, Kurt. We tried calling, and we couldn't get a hold of him…" At this, the pale boy furrowed his eyebrows together, beginning to get worried. Surly, nothing bad could have –

"Hey, boys," everyone looked up as Jeff's dad peeked in the entrance of the commons, his thumb stuck in the direction of the Main Office, "there's news on in there about the accident."

They all made their way to the Office Building, only to find a small crowd of people huddled around the television hung in the top corner of the room, turned to a news station, the scene of the accident clear as day in the dull colors of the outdated technology. The voiceover newsperson was rambling on about the weather being dangerous to drive in, and how one car skidded, and another car seemed to slide, and this happened, and that, but the boys were focused on a specific car, crunched into a tiny piece of metal in the center of the pileup.

"K-Kurt," David choked out shakily, grasping the pale boy's shoulder with a slightly trembling hand. "Kurt, that's Blaine's car."

Kurt felt his heart speed up about 20 times its natural, healthy speed, but he found himself shaking his head feverishly. "No, no it's not," he decided indefinitely, though his eyes burned as he focused in on the small, black BMW. The 750i xDrive Sedan. The car he just saw Blaine leave in with his freak of an older brother, with its custom, _red_, spinning tire rims. But no, it couldn't be…

"Oh _fuck_, it is! Holy shit! It has the red rims and everything!" Trent exclaimed, sounding more shocked than anything else.

But Kurt was still shaking his head, back and forth, back and forth. No, that was _not_ Blaine's car…

The news station shifted to another story, and the office administrative workers turned it off, and the small crowd began to dissipate, though a few of those who heard the boys' outbursts gave them sympathetic looks.

"Kurt –" Jeff began, but was cut off when the fair-skinned boy turned sharply away from him, yanking his phone out of his pocket, his hands frantically shaking as he dialed his boyfriend, holding the phone up to his ear with both hands, the tears in his eyes beginning to form.

_"Hey, it's Blaine. I'm not here right now, so leave me a message, and I'll call you back –"_

Kurt's phone cracked up the side as he dropped it hard on the tiled floor. He stared intently at the glass doors leading to the outside world. Past the small set of stairs leading to the parking lot. The last place he saw Blaine. The last place he might ever associate with the precious boy with dark, curly hair and an eyebrow piercing. An eyebrow piercing and a tattoo over his heart that he got for Kurt.

Kurt thought back to that weekend and the tattoo he chose for his boyfriend and choked, falling forward onto his knees and not even feeling it when Finn grasped him from behind, holding him close. He felt his body heaving and gagging, and he was surprised when he saw no vomit on the floor in front of him. Perhaps all the vomiting he had done earlier when his hypothermia had settled down had rid his body of the reflex altogether.

His vision blurred and he reasoned rationally that he must be crying, but his body was so unnaturally numb that for all he knew, he could be going blind, because he couldn't feel it either way.

He didn't know how long he knelt on the floor, sobbing, but each moment, each painstakingly harsh breath he took, he felt the pain in him grow, like each breath in was two steps of hurt and each exhale was only a single step of relief. It cumulated until he felt like his entire body was threatening to explode, or implode, or cease, entirely.

He remembered feeling similar when he thought Blaine had overdosed, though his feelings for the boy were much more closeted at the time, but something about _this_, a car accident, it was so different, so horrendously normal and usual, that it was like a shock ran through his body at idea of someone, _anyone_, dying that way.

The idea that someone could die, just trying to go home, just trying to get somewhere. To work, to school, to the movies, to the store…

His knees stung from where they crunched into the hard ground beneath him.

"_T-turn it back on_," he coughed, talking to no one in particular, "_please_! I need to see it!"

He found himself somehow facing the television again, being supported by a medley of different sets of arms, watching as the news covered something completely unimportant and unrelated, and he felt like he was slowly slipping away, like he might faint, or dissolve into nonexistence, but either way, black was certainly closing in around the corners of his vision… He could hardly see, and the sounds around him fuzzed out until he heard some kind of static chaos. He couldn't feel or think, and he was almost certain that if he tried, he wouldn't be able to smell or taste, either…

"Kurt? What's going on?"

Kurt felt like the next few seconds of his life were in slow motion.

He turned around and saw the flash of the form and body and curly head of hair he knew so, so, so freakishly well, and the corners of his vision merged into his line of sight and he was consumed by darkness.

"Kurt! _Kurt_!" Kurt felt a strong, chilled pair of strong arms latch around his front as his legs gave out, but he only knew because he felt the unmistakable drop in the pit of his stomach that one felt when falling quickly, or riding a rollercoaster. His legs themselves were still void of feel. "Baby, please, what's going on? You're scaring me," Blaine mumbled, and Kurt realized he could feel it vibrating against his skin. And he could feel again. And hear. Blaine.

Kurt only realized then how hard he was crying, and how sore his entire body was from earlier that day, throbbing in pain. "_Blaine_! I – I – I –" Words weren't working, but his vision cleared up and he saw before him the beautiful man that he had absolutely no idea he had fallen so in love with.

Because, holy _shit_, he was.

Kurt was in love with Blaine…

The pale boy jolted as a particularly sore spot on his rib shot through his nerves, and he winced in pain, tears of so many kinds leaking from his eyes and his emotions in ten-thousand places.

Blaine was panic-ridden, running his eyes over his obviously-traumatized boyfriend, and glanced back behind him, through the glass doors, where his older brother was seemingly yelling to a cell phone, shielded under the slight ledge of the roof from the increasingly intense weather. "Come here," Blaine tried, finding himself choking on his own words, and pulled the boy with him into the junior commons, and sat down on one of the large, leather chairs, pulling Kurt down beside him so they were very close to each other. "_Shhh_, it's okay. Kurt. Kurt, what's going on?"

Kurt willed himself to relax, to come back into some form of reality and normal sense of feeling, so he knew this was all real. "I-I – I thought it was _you_," he ended up sobbing out, his breath hitching in his throat. When Blaine stared at him with a completely puzzled look, he continued. "O-on TV, they showed the a-accident," he attempted a deep breath, but it turned out shaky, "and we thought it was your c-c-car," he fell into his boyfriend's shoulder, and grasped at it hungrily, desperately.

Blaine clamped his eyes shut, suddenly understanding. "_Shhh, _baby, it wasn't me, I'm okay… It's okay…"

"I don't – I don't know what I'd do…if I _lost_ you, Blaine. I-I… I… I couldn't…"

Blaine held him tight to his chest, trying to figure out how tight he could possibly hold him without angering the bruises and hurt on his body. "Hey, come on, _shhh_,"

Kurt regained a slight amount of sanity, pulling away from the other boy enough to look him in the eye. "Really, Blaine… I don't… I don't think I could live if that happened… If you weren't in my life right now…"

Blaine's breath caught in his throat. Everything he'd been thinking about before… Every doubt he'd had, every question of their relationship… "Really…?"

Kurt's already-hysterical face turned into one of disbelief and shock, holding the intense gaze of his boyfriend's deep, hazel eyes, looking at him so hopefully and full of need. "_Yes_," he reached forward to touch Blaine's stubbly face, simply running his hands over it in some kind of frantic attempt to be closer to him, to feel him, "of _course_ _really_! Why would you – ? Why would you think anything different…? I – I know we had our little…_fight_ today, Blaine, but I thought you knew how much you…_mean_ to me…"

Blaine nodded slowly, biting his lips, trying to choke down his tears. "I just… Kurt… Before… When I was trying to talk to you…" Kurt nodded, urging him to continue, still keeping his hand firm on the curly-haired boy's face. "The guys were… They were _warning_ me because they were – _afraid_ that I was…more invested in this relationship than you are…" Kurt tilted his head to the side, giving him a look that suggested otherwise. "…And… I just – I got super freaked out and started…reading into everything too much. And… I wanted to say…I'm sorry. For being so…" He trailed off, ending with a sigh that spoke the unsaid words.

Kurt waited a moment, watching his eyes, seeing for sure that he was finished talking. "That's what that was all about…?"

Blaine let out a sniffle-laugh, swallowing audibly. "Y-yeah. I was… I was pretty dumb… I mean, _they_ were pretty dumb…"

Kurt blinked slowly, opening his eyes again to stare back at the other boy, smiling softly and dropping his hand from Blaine's face to gently caress his hand. "They were just…trying to look out for you… Be good friends, and all that…"

"But they were wrong…" Blaine trailed off weakly, just watching those glasz eyes, hoping to get some kind of validation or confirmation of this statement.

Kurt hummed a sympathetic noise and pulled them together so their foreheads were touching, staring deeply into his love's eyes… Because that's what Blaine was… His _love. _"So…_so_ wrong, baby…" He shook his head slightly for emphasis and sighed deeply… "Blaine, I…" Kurt pulled away enough that he could look at his boyfriend's face, holding their steady gaze. "I am…_so_ in love with you," he said it with so much confidence and truth, but his voice still shook with emotion as the words left his lips.

Blaine let the air in his mouth escape in a hot breath, and he blinked back a few tears that threatened to fall, letting the warmest smile that he ever felt grace his lips. "I… Oh god, I… I love _you_, Kurt… So much," he breathed a heavy sigh and surged forward to connect their lips, but just briefly, because he pulled away shortly after to simply embrace the boy he loved.

The boy that loved him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Blah blah blah :| So, it ended at an odd spot, but I have this whole..._thing_ happening next, and... You know what? Just don't question it X_X Just accept it for what it is and hope the next one's better...**  
><strong>And FYI, the horrible virus I got showed itself in the way that anytime you open<em> anything<em> on your computer, it'll say it's infected. Ex: iTunes is infected! Firefox is infected! Because it's acting like a FAKE ANTIVIRUS! D: I figured it out pretty quickly that they weren't actually infected, but the problem is, you can't open any damn programs, and thank the LAWD that my brother is a computer genius. So...watch out for that one, folks! Love you all and sorry again for all the bull you had to put up with from me ;_;**


	11. Best

**A/N Ahhh! My life is a joke. Just done. And it's snowing like crazy outside.  
>I love you all and I cry 1,000 tears for the delay. (Like, specifically, 1,000 tears, 500 from each eye)<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"Th-this okay? I don't – I don't want to you make you – uncomfortable," Blaine stammered out, his breath hitching as Kurt ran a hand over his growing hardness through his boxer-briefs and moved to straddle his waist.<p>

"_Mmmm,_" he kissed and lightly nibbled Blaine's collarbone, earning a choking groan from the boy, "_mmhmm_," Kurt hummed a needy, affirmative response, tilting his head to get better access at the tan boy's neck, his skin tingling where his boyfriend's fingers were under the waistband of his underwear, hesitating to pull them down. When the curly-haired boy inched them down a small amount, then stopped, returning them to their original position on the pale boy's hips, Kurt groaned in frustration.

"You're sure? I-if you don't—"

"Blaine." Kurt sat up straight in his boyfriend's lap, wincing slightly at the strain it had on his bruises, but ran his hands down the boy's shirtless chest and stomach, looking him in the eyes. "We've seen each other naked. And we've…made each other come… This is just both of those things," Kurt reasoned the last party quickly with a blush, though his face shifted to a small smirk when his boyfriend's mouth hung open slightly at this, and he felt Blaine's dick twitch under his thigh.

"_Uuugh_," Blaine groaned at his boyfriend's words and yanked him back down on top of him, as gently as he could, attacking his lips and gripping Kurt's boxers and tugging them down to his knees, the pale boy adjusting to kick them off to the floor beside his bed. Before the curly-haired boy could react, Kurt yanked his underwear off as well, throwing them somewhere unimportant.

Both boys' breathing was shaky and nervous as they stopped their kissing for a moment to just take in each other's bodies, never having done so in a situation like this.

Blaine let out a trembling sigh and lowered his gaze down his boyfriend's body, his hard penis, his hand trailing along the boy's side to rest at his thigh. "You look…" He trailed off, his words failing him as he shifted his eyes back up to meet the other boy's, a small, fond smile on his lips.

"You too," Kurt replied breathily, a deep blush in his cheeks as he tore his eyes away from Blaine's naked body, meeting his steady gaze and swallowing thickly.

Blaine opened his mouth to say something – anything, really – but was struck with the sudden urge to surge up to meet his boyfriend's lips, up to where the pale boy was hovering above his naked torso, also temptingly unclothed.

So he did.

* * *

><p>Jeff sighed, wiping a hand down his face tiredly and staring at his phone blankly, waiting for a reply message.<p>

_Buzz! _

_haha i kno! Well i gtg but i hope u n daddy make it home 4 xmas. luv u bby bro! – S _

He stared at the message for a few moments before lazily typing out a short response and sending it.

Yeah, he hoped he made it home for Christmas, too…

"Hello Jeffrey," Nick chirped sweetly, entering the common room. He plopped into the seat opposite of the blonde boy, startling him just slightly, but earning a timid smile. "Whatcha doin'?" He inquired lightly, eyeing the cellphone in his roommate's hands as Jeff pocketed it, shrugging.

"I was just…talking to Sarah."

Nick's lips twitched up, and his eyebrow rose slightly at the name. "Ah, yes. Sarah Mae. How's she?" Jeff knew he was asking more as a joke, or rhetorically, but he shrugged anyway.

"She's fine… I feel kinda bad though. She's been home since Monday, and so far she's only really gotten so spend time with my _mom_," Jeff shared a knowing look with Nick at the mention of his mother, then paused, "and Chloe, I guess, but I don't think she's really a source of intelligent conversation or company," he commented, shrugging lightly.

Nick smiled at his friend, remembering his roommate's seven year old sister that resembled him and Sarah so closely. "Yeah," he chuckled in agreement, moving to cross his legs and watch Jeff's face fall slightly in the silence. "Don't be too bummed, man. You'll probably be able to leave soon…" At Jeff's not-very-convincing nod and smile, Nick added, "Besides, I thought you were gonna _miiiss_ me? Now you're _pissed_ you have to _stay_?" He feigned a look of shock and pain, placing his hand over his heart, 'tsk'ing in offence. "I'm hurt, Jeffrey, I _truly_ am…"

At this, the blonde cracked a small smile and glanced up to the dark-haired boy, causing Nick to drop his façade and smile as well, reaching over to his chair to give him a playful shove in the shoulder. Jeff nodded slightly. "Yeah – no, I'm happy I get to see you… All you guys, you know," he corrected quickly with a subtle blush, his eyes darting to the floor, Nick smiling softly at the sight, "I was just…_looking forward_ to having some time away from, um…the school, and everything… The campus… The…teachers…"

Nick pulled his lips together and nodded understandingly, humming in agreement, letting his eyes drift out of the near window to the outside world, where the weather seemed to be _currently_ calm and pleasant…

Jeff's eyes narrowed slightly in thought and he turned to his roommate with a curious look on his face, his voice taking a different, lighter tone as he changed the subject. "Nick, do you know where Kurt is?"

* * *

><p>Blaine let out short, panting moans as he hungrily took in the sight of his boyfriend's hard, leaking cock, grasped in his hand as he stroked it messily, focusing becoming difficult as Kurt's pale hand was currently wrapped around <em>his<em> dick, and was expertly moving it along his length as the boys lay side by side, hands on each other.

"_F-fuck_," Kurt stammered, startling Blaine as his boyfriend suddenly released the curly-haired boy's cock, his hands flying up to dig into Blaine's chest, his eyes clamping closed.

Apparently, Blaine had done _something _right…

His thoughts were confirmed further when the pale boy let out a strangled moan, sounding positively beautiful as he groaned, his head falling into Blaine's chest. "Don't," he breathed, seemingly having a hard time creating coherent sentences, or _breathing_, for that matter, "don't _stop_," he tried again, and Blaine just ate up the sight before him, swearing he could almost get off just watching the boy in front of him.

Kurt's eyes opened, revealing their half-lidded, lustful quality, and Blaine thought for a moment that Kurt was going to come, but instead, the boy rolled back on top of him, lying flat on his naked torso, their erections painfully close. Blaine kept his hand on Kurt's cock, but readjusted his grip so he was holding both his and his boyfriend's lengths loosely. Kurt dove forward, connecting his mouth with Blaine's in a desperate attempt to be closer to him, his tongue piercing sliding against the other boy's lips, and thrust into the boy's hand as he did so.

They let out obscene, loud moans into each other's mouths as their cocks rubbed up against each other within Blaine's grasp, slick with precum, creating sweet friction they so desperately craved. They began both jerking against each other's cocks, the hand not occupied of Blaine's wrapped firmly around Kurt's waist, as the young boy had his arms planted on the bed to support his hovering over Blaine.

"_Ahhh_, shit! _Sonuva – fucking_ – _uh_!" Blaine rambled out loudly, realizing suddenly that this was probably the most intimate sex act he'd ever been involved in. He hoped _Kurt_ was comfortable with everything—

"_Fucking_ – _yes_!"

He sounded pretty comfortable.

* * *

><p>Nick laughed in response, causing his roommate to eye him quizzically. "I just came down from our room and I heard him doing <em>something<em> through the wall…" Jeff raised an eyebrow at this, not quite following. "Sounded like _moaning_," Nick clarified, pronouncing each word slowly, causing the blonde to grimace slightly.

"Oh god…"

"Yeah," Nick laughed, shaking his head slightly at the memory, "and _specifically_ the moaning of our dear countertenor and one _Blaine Anderson_."

Jeff let out a slight noise of discomfort. "_Ah_ – it's so _awkward_ when people are _loud_ and you can…_hear_ them, I – ugh…" He trailed off, sharing an amused, albeit uncomfortable look with his roommate as Trent joined them, collapsing into the chair beside Jeff, looking between the two roommates.

"Who?" He asked curiously, only having heard Jeff's statement.

"Kurt. And Blaine. _Gettin' it on_ in Kurt's room," Nick supplied with a teasing, lewd tone of voice and small chuckle.

Trent simply hummed in response. "I thought they haven't fucked yet," he remembered absently, breaking off a piece of a cookie he had with him and popping it into his mouth.

Nick shrugged, letting another laugh escape him as he leaned back in his chair. "Well, they're doing _something_."

* * *

><p><em>"Please, stop! Oh god – stop!" The young boy choked out, his blood covering too much of the ground.<em>

_Blaine exhaled shakily, his breaths becoming shorter and faster, as he numbly found himself backing away from the others. "Y-you guys, maybe—"_

_"Don't be a fucking pussy, B. This fag deserves this," the red-haired teen hissed, breathless, from where he was crouched over the slight, pale teen, whose blonde hair was mostly matted down with blood._

_Blaine nodded, trembling and swallowing thickly, and his gaze darted back to the end of the parking lot, where their car was parked. Maybe if he snuck away without anyone noticing… But…he didn't know how to drive yet…_

_"Ah – please!" The blonde boy coughed out again, this time his sobbing evident in his voice._

_The two other boys stood straight at this, seemingly finished with what they had done, throwing their respective weapons off to the side, but the red-haired teen brought down his metal bat again onto the injured one's back, his face meeting again with the asphalt. _

_"Renny—" one of the other boys warned harshly, catching the bloodied weapon in midair as it was about to be used again, "—just – just leave him. He's gonna fucking bleed to death," he hissed, as though he was concerned someone might overhear him, though the situation was obvious if there were any onlookers. _

_Renny scoffed lightly, holding the older boy's gaze for a few moments before surrendering, chucking the bat onto the bleeding blonde, initiating a muffled whimper, and stepping back slightly, tilting his head appreciatively at his work. "Hope you learned something, faggot," he laughed darkly, leaning forward to spit onto the boy on the ground before waltzing off in the direction of their vehicle._

_Blaine remained frozen in his spot, watching the injured body shudder with sobs, the blood from his head and back leaking out onto the ground in two, smooth lines, pooling slightly, reflecting the light of the dim streetlamp in the parking lot. The curly-haired boy let out a sudden breath, conflicted, making to move towards the blonde to help – to do something – but hesitating._

_"Come on, B. That fag learned his lesson. Let's go," he heard his brother calling from further down the parking lot._

_"Yeah – he needs to understand that if he wants to keep being queer, we'll keep teaching him how not to be," Renny added, his voice eerily calm and mock-pleasant._

_From in front of him, Blaine heard the boy on the ground cough, and mumble out, loud enough for everyone to hear, "You can fucking kill me and I won't change." _

* * *

><p>"…Okay," Kurt breathed, his voice sounding reluctant, his face mere centimeters from the other boy's, "I should get up, shower," he sighed, pecking the curly-haired boy on the lips quickly, and taking a last, appreciative look into the other's eyes, and forced himself to leave the warm safety of the bed.<p>

Blaine sighed quietly and smiled, "shower _later_," he pleaded teasingly, his eyes fixed fondly on his boyfriend as the pale boy stood up from the mattress, stretching his arms over his head, giggling out a barely-audible 'oh, _fiiine_', through his yawn. From where he was resting on his side, one elbow propped to support his head, he curly-haired boy took a drag and blew out his cigarette smoke smoothly, a smirk playing at his lips as his eyes ran over the naked expanse of pale, white skin, though still scattered with bruises from the day before.

The boy that night. He was sort of pale, too. What if they had gotten their hands on _Kurt_, instead? It could have just as easily been him…

Kurt hummed a thoughtful noise as he dug through his dresser, pulling out a pair of gray boxer-briefs. He inspected them for a short moment, turning them over in his hands and arching his eyebrow, as though considering their effect on the rest of his planned outfit.

Blaine tilted his head slightly, taking in his boyfriend, rolling onto his back and putting an arm behind his head to support his neck, and took another puff of his cigarette, blinking thoughtfully. "…You sure that was okay?" He put the cigarette out into an empty cup on Kurt's bedside table, and moved to lie on his stomach, his chin resting on his folded arms.

Kurt's lips twitched up slightly, and he turned to face his boyfriend, his eyebrows together slightly in appreciation for the other boy's consideration. "Yes, Blaine. That was amazing… I didn't think about…the r – what happened – once the entire time," he mumbled, playing with the material of the underwear in his fingers. Blaine sat back up, onto the edge of the bed and raised an eyebrow at this. Seeing his expression, the pale boy continued. "I…was a little…_busy_. To remember the attack… Your cock rubbing all up against mine and all," he looked horribly embarrassed, not one to usually say things so bluntly, but had a slight smirk on his face.

Blaine didn't say anything in response, simply smiling as he watched Kurt step carefully into his underwear, as to not strain his sore body, and move to sit beside him. The pale boy looked as though he wanted to say something, but hesitated, instead reaching his hand out to ghost affectionately over the tattoo on the other's chest, tracing over the pattern of the letters.

Without removing his hand, Kurt brought his gaze back to meet his boyfriend's. "But really… You're helping me…get _through_ this so wonderfully, Blaine," Kurt breathed out, his hand falling to grasp the other boy's. "You never…_rush_ me, I… It was really amazing…"

The curly-haired boy turned his hand palm-up to grasp in return. "...That's amazing, babe. I'm…_so_ glad I'm helping you get through this…" Kurt just warmly smiled at him, his head tipping to the side slightly, but Blaine chuckled lightly. "But…I was actually talking about _physically_… Your bruises look terrible," he brought up a hand to tentatively run over a particularly dark one near his boyfriend's ribcage.

"Oh. Yeah… I know," Kurt murmured thickly, his gaze dropping as his brows furrowed together.

Blaine closed his eyes at his own wording and squeezed his boyfriend's shoulder very lightly to get his attention back. "I mean, not like _that_, just… You know what I mean," The curly-haired boy searched the other's face, his gaze still not meeting Blaine's, and watched him nod subtly. "They look _painful_."

At this, Kurt brought his eyes up to meet his boyfriend's, a small, sad smile in place. "I know… They're _okay_, though. They've gotten a little better since yesterday…"

Blaine nodded in response, though he was doubtful, his eyes sweeping over the boy before him, letting a smile take over his lips. "Well, you still _look_ incredible… And…_that_, _everything_ – _you_ were incredible, Kurt." Kurt smiled coyly at this, heat rising to his cheeks as he bashfully averted the other boy's gaze.

Blaine smiled fondly at this behavior and grabbed his boyfriend, careful of his injuries, and plopped him down onto the center of the bed, his face bordered by the fluffy pillows and surrounded by the blankets that had been disturbed previously. Blaine, still naked, hovered over the boy and smiled down at him, only causing Kurt to grin goofily back up at him, his face screwed up in silliness and half-laughter. Blaine laughed outright at this, causing the pale boy to as well.

"I love you," Blaine breathed out, his voice still uneven and slightly winded from the laughter.

"I love you, too," Kurt mumbled quietly, airily, in response with a smirk, his boyfriend's face inching closer to his as he leaned down, coming to meet him in a kiss.

"_Mmmm_, and I love hearing you say that."

* * *

><p>"Oh, sweetheart! How <em>are<em> you—?"

"Mom—"

"Are you doing alright? Oh, sweetie, how was your night—?"

"_Mom_—"

"Oh, I can't stand that you boys are stuck all the way over there so close to Christmas! I just hope—!"

"Mom, _please_," Finn pleaded, his voice colored with slight amusement as he sat down on a seat in the common room, next to a few of Kurt's friends that had all ended up there. "I'm doing _fine_…"

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "Oh, honey. I've been checking on the weather constantly, and it looks like it's been good all day so far. What are they saying over there? Is anyone going to try to leave soon?"

Finn shrugged, although his mother couldn't see him. "I don't know. The roads are still pretty icy, I think… But one guy here – he's Kurt's friend's dad – he's stuck here too, and he said they're probably gonna leave in a few hours when it gets warmer."

"…Well, alright… Call me if you think you're gonna head home, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Finn, honey? How was your night? Where did you end up sleeping?"

"They had a spare room that I slept in."

"Were you by yourself?"

"Yeah… It was in the same building as Kurt's room... It used to be an RA's room, or something, so it was for one person. I think a few other people stuck here had to sleep in the rooms in the teacher's dorms. But they gave this one to me because I'm younger, I think…"

There was a brief moment of silence between them, as the conversation seemed to naturally find its ending point. "Well, sweetheart, keep me updated. Just…be _safe_, alright?"

"I know."

"I'll talk to you in a bit. Love you."

"Love you, too, mom. Bye."

Finn hung up the phone and looked next to him, seeing that Blaine guy approaching the group, Kurt not with him, which seemed to be unusual.

"_Hey B_," Nick smirked, crossing his legs where he sat and making brief eye contact with Trent before returning his gaze to the curly-haired boy. "What have you been up to?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow, his casual, '_whatever_' mask clearly in place as he sunk down onto the floor, where Thad sat, playing idly with his phone. "Just hanging with Kurt. Just…went over to his room after I woke up to see how he was doing…" He snatched a cigarette from Thad's pack and, after finding himself lighter-less, dug a pack of matches from his shoe and lit it, leaning back on one elbow.

Thad, hearing this, smirked for a moment, before putting away his phone and sitting up straighter to face the boy. "That's weird," he commented, his voice thick with sarcasm and mock-innocence, "at, like, _7:20_, I went down to get breakfast… And Kurt was already awake and said you were just about to come _then_…"

Blaine rolled his eyes and was close to making an inappropriate comment about the use of the word 'come', but he caught the gaze of Finn, who looked suddenly suspicious, and if he was doing this _right_, he had to try to restrain himself from the vulgar things he might usually joke about, in front of his boyfriend's family, at least.

Besides, something about Kurt made him want no one to know about their intimate life…

"What were you doing there for…" Thad spoke again, making Blaine realize he hadn't responded, and looked down to his phone, checking the time, "…two…and a half hours…? Is he _okay_?" The dark-haired boy asked in mock-concern, painfully obvious.

Blaine blew his cigarette smoke out, coughing slightly, and chanced a glance to Finn, who was still giving him that look… "Yeah, yeah… We were just…hanging out. You know…" He took another hit of the smoke, attempting to convey nonchalance.

Thad smiled, making eye contact with Nick and Trent, then followed Blaine's flickered gaze to Finn, suddenly understanding his behavior. He looked over Blaine, then grinned devilishly. "Oh!" Thad exclaimed suddenly, leaning forward to get closer to Blaine, who looked both skeptical and curious. "Are _you_ okay? It looks like there's…some kind of…" He trailed off, pulling the collar of Blaine's shirt lower, to reveal a couple sizable hickeys, "…_bruise_, or something, on your neck," Thad finally laughed, as Blaine sat up and punched him in the arm, attempting to pull his shirt to cover the marks.

"Fuck off, Thad," he grumbled, and the two boys pushed each other around for a moment, Blaine finally shoving the dark-haired boy away, and turning away to huff, annoyed at his behavior.

A few moments of silence filled the room, and Blaine continued to smoke, pleased that Finn hadn't said anything. The tall teen himself was shrugging off the comments made earlier. After all, just because they were teasing him about being with Kurt, didn't mean he actually _had_ been with him…right?

Nick yawned, blinking a few times, then, in a casual tone, "So…yeah, the hickeys. But also, I heard you and Kurt moaning like sluts in his room, like, an hour ago," he added matter-of-factly, as though it was information he forgot, but felt necessary to contribute.

Finn snapped his head to look at the accused, curly-haired boy, and Blaine, seeing this, leapt at Nick, actually toppling the leather chair the boy was sitting in over onto its back, Blaine on top of the dark-haired boy, punching him in a good-naturedly, though irritated, brotherly way, in the arms, Nick smirking and attempting to block the blows.

"Dude! What's wrong with you!" Blaine choked out at him, incredulous, as Nick laughed, along with the others, and flipped them over, pinning the curly-haired boy down on the carpeted floor, restraining him against his struggles. "Kurt's brother's gonna murder me!" He hissed, eyes flickering to Finn, who at this point, was standing up and looking like he was contemplating his actions.

"Oh, lighten up, B!" Nick chuckled, releasing Blaine, who only sat up, eyes narrowed at the boys in front of him. "We always joke around about this stuff," he reasoned, and it was true… Just perhaps not in front of involved one's family members. Blaine rolled his eyes and sighed, scooting over on the floor to put out the cigarette he had flung in his moment of revenge. Nick just smiled evilly again. "So, that being said… _How was Kurt_?"

Blaine lunged for him again, but pulled back, and Nick, thinking the other boy wasn't going to strike, let down his guard, and Blaine socked him hard in the upper arm, causing the dark-haired boy to groan playfully, clutching his limb tenderly.

"How's your infected _dick_? Shithead," Blaine huffed, annoyed, referencing the boy's possible STD.

Nick, instead of attempting a retaliation insult, or shrugging it off, actually considered the comment, reaching his hand down to literally grope himself, wincing slightly. "Painful," he nodded, looking thoughtful. "I should probably get this checked out…"

Everyone who heard this looked at the boy in shocked disbelief, seemingly disturbed, though before anyone could say anything, Wes and David stormed into the lounge, looking absolutely furious.

"Dude, just—"

"No, fuck it. I'm telling him," Wes decided, clearly in the middle of a conversation as they entered. He marched up to Blaine, the heat practically radiating off of him, regardless of the fact he had just been outside in the cold weather. He let a few heavy, angry breaths escape him before speaking. "Blaine, we just ran into someone."

* * *

><p><em>"This is bullshit. I'm fucking starving," Wes mumbled bitterly, huffing angrily.<em>

_David sighed, also disappointed, but turned to his roommate. "Let's just… Let's just go to Arts. We have a shit ton of food in there. We can bring some snacks back to the dorm." _

_Wes sighed dramatically and nodded, beginning to button up his coat. He wasn't in the mood to have to go face the weather, but it was better than starving. _

_Because classes were not in session, meals were not mandatory, though the school typically provided small snacks and alternative choices for the students during break. Though, because of the family members stuck on campus, the food was being provided to them, instead, leaving students who had not eaten the meals with no other options of food. _

_Though no one had told the students this information._

_After retrieving a handful of snacks and forms of nourishment and pocketing them, the two boys headed back to direct entrance of the dorm building, but froze in their tracks upon sighting a particular red-haired teen, watching them from across the field in front of the Art Building, near the doors of the English wing. _

_Although it wasn't in the direction they were heading, the two roommates stalked over to the boy, already feeling the anger bubbling in their veins._

_"Chink," Renny sneered, eyeing Wes, who simply clenched his jaw at the derogatory name. "Coon," he jeered, actually spitting on the snow-covered ground, in the direction where David stood. _

_The boy flung himself at the tall, lankier one, pressing him hard against the wall behind him. "You got some fucking nerve talking to us that way. After what you did to Hummel," David seethed, having to make himself calm down slightly, releasing the boy after giving him a threatening shove further against the wall, as well as a menacing stare._

_Renny scoffed, pocketing his cellphone he had out. "That little flamer loved everything we did to him," he commented coolly, pulling his coat tighter around himself and scanning the area before turning back to them. "And he deserved every fucking minute of it for being the little faggot he is—"_

_"You shut your dirty fucking mouth, Bright!" Wes screeched, approaching him and stepping in front of David. "I swear to fucking god, if you lay another finger on that kid..."_

_The redhead merely smirked at this, staring down at the boys shorter than him. _

_Though David was still caught on his words. He loved everything they did to him? What had they…?_

_"What the fuck do you mean he loved it? What did you do to him?" His voice was so low and filled with intensity, Renny's smile faltered for a moment, and even Wes took an instinctive step back._

_The red-haired teen seemed somewhat surprised. "He didn't tell you? Huh, he seemed to like it so much… Especially at first when we were… Hah. I'm sure fags like him love that kind of shit, after all… He was practically screaming for it – wait. He __was__ screaming for it," the boy laughed, taking his phone out to check it._

_Wes growled beside David, taking a step closer to Renny, so he was mere inches from his face. "Listen, you fucker. You're gonna regret everything you did to him, I—" _

_"Wes," David warned, holding the Asian boy's fist from where he seemed to be about to bring it down to hit Renny. "Let's not get into this right now. Come on, man. Let's bounce."_

_Wes stared in amazement and confusion at his roommate, but trusted his judgment. From the look in David's eyes, he could tell there was a reason he was holding him back._

_After another few seconds of exchanging intimidating glares, Wes and David took off, back into the direction of the dorm building. "Fuck, David. When Blaine hears about this, he—"_

_"I don't think we should tell him."_

_Wes stopped in his tracks, just about to enter the dorm building. "__What__? Why the fuck not?"_

_David sighed, his breath coming out in puffs in the cold air, and tongued his piercing. "Look. I just… From what he was saying, I think he did some shit that we don't know about…" When Wes still looked confused, seemingly trying to remember all that Renny had said, David offered, "More than just roughing him up and tying him down… I think… I mean, he said 'he loved it', and I just…" _

_Wes's eyes widened and he inhaled a sharp breath, shaking his head back and forth rapidly at what David was suggesting. "Fuck, you think—? Then Blaine would __really__ want to know, we—"_

_"No, dammit! If something like that went down, Kurt needs to tell him! Not __us__," David was beginning to yell, partially from his roommate's behavior, but mostly because of the incident earlier, the anger still present._

_But Wes was still shaking his head, beginning to shake in anger at the idea David was proposing, "No way, man. We're Blaine's bros. He'd be fucking pissed if we didn't tell him."_

_"Wes, just—" David let out an aggravated huff as Wes crashed through the door leading into the dorm lounge, not waiting to hear him speak, and decided to follow him and convince him otherwise before he found Blaine. "Dude, just—"_

_"No, fuck it. I'm telling him… Blaine, we just ran into someone." _

* * *

><p>Blaine was confused. Why didn't David want Wes to tell him whatever he was about to? Judging from the looks of their faces, it wasn't good news. "W-what? I – who?" The curly-haired boy came to his feet, eyeing the Asian boy with a mixed expression, somewhat worried, but also curious.<p>

David caught up with Wes, giving him a stern look, which Wes returned easily. "Renny," Wes provided, earning an instant hard look from the boy in front of him.

"…_What_?" He let his eyes wander slightly, contemplating, and found the others all taking notice of the situation, seeing that something was happening. Finn looked confused, and it was clear to those observing that he was dying to ask who Renny was. "I – what – what did he say? What went down?" Blaine's original angry look had shifted to a more concerned, desperate one, like he was hungry for the information about the man who had attacked his boyfriend.

Wes opened his mouth to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat as the implications of David coursed through his brain. At a loss for words, he turned to David, who only gave him a look as though to say, 'see? We shouldn't have said anything, because now it's going to be awkward.'

"Look, Blaine," David tried, attempting to word what he was about to say very carefully, stepping forward and slightly pushing his friend out of the way, "we basically told him to fuck off, especially after everything with Kurt. And he…wouldn't drop it… He was…being a complete ass about the whole thing. We didn't fight him, because we figured it wouldn't be too good of an idea right then."

Blaine's eyes were downcast, angry, as he nodded, considering this. He looked as though he were about attempt to say something, though was conflicted about restraining himself. He sighed heavily, and reached down to grab another cigarette from Thad's open pack, initiating a small glare to be sent in his direction from said boy, and lit it, taking a few moments just sucking in the smoke.

"Did he say he was gonna back off?" Blaine snapped, breaking the silence, startling everyone slightly.

David looked to Wes, who frowned slightly. "No, he… He wasn't really taking us seriously…" Wes looked to his roommate, who shook his head subtly, but the Asian boy just turned back to Blaine. "Look, B. There's something else…" Blaine raised an eyebrow, clearly silently fuming, though looked at the boy expectantly. "We… I don't know what Kurt has told you about what happened yesterday…but we think it may have been worse than we first thought. He kind of…implied some kind of…" He couldn't say it. Not after everything. Not after Kurt's rape, and everything that happened to him.

"_What_, Wes? Dammit!" Blaine seethed impatiently.

"Something sexual, B," David finally spat out, trying to say it swiftly, so it was less painful to say, and less painful to hear, like ripping off a Band-Aid quickly to minimize the sting.

"No," Blaine argued immediately, his brows pulled together, not even letting a second pass after David's statement. "No, Renny's a total homophobe, he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't fucking ever do that!" His voice was rising. "_Why the fuck would you even say that_?" He began to get up in the dark-skinned boy's face, looking livid.

"B! B, listen! It's just he said shit like…'he loved it', and that…_guys_ like 'him love that kind of stuff'," Wes tried to explain, though hearing it out loud made him realize there wasn't too much proof. "We just thought it could be that! We're not sure, we just wanted to…warn you…"

"Mmmm," Blaine hummed thoughtfully, clearly conflicted between losing his temper and snapping, and trying to keep his cool. "I just… I mean, I was trying to figure out what to do next time I saw him… I know I shouldn't—" He cut himself off with a grunt, hastily sucking on his cigarette and practically shooting out the smoke. "…I'm going to kill him," he just decided with a jerky nod, "Literally. That fucking bastard will be dead when I'm done with him. I mean, I _know _he has a fucking problem with us!" He threw his free hand up in the air angrily. "And I _know_ we have this stupid – _feud_ going on, but he needs to fucking know when to stop!" Blaine was shouting now, and a couple boys passing by, heading up to the stairs to the dorm, looked over curiously, but kept walking.

Jonathan chose this moment to waltz into the commons, rolling his eyes as he sighed, seemingly annoyed, and sensed the feeling in the room as he entered. He saw Finn first, his mouth hung agape as he was staring at the other boys in the room with shock and horror.

Nick, Thad, Trent, Wes, and David all had matching looks of concern-mixed-with-anger, staring at Blaine timidly.

Blaine looked furious. Absolutely, undoubtedly furious.

"What's happening, Blaine?" Jonathan asked him, not seeming to speak with the appropriate amount of concern for how upset his brother looked. He raised an eyebrow and frowned, looking at the cigarette in Blaine's hand. "You're still on these?" Jonathan's face scrunched up in repulsion, and snatched the smoke from his brother's hand, earning a dangerous look from the boy. "That's disgusting."

"What are you doing?" Blaine's choked out instantly, so low and harsh that everyone in the room tensed slightly. Even Jonathan raised an eyebrow at this, but just shook his head after a moment, sighing irritably when Blaine grabbed the stick back and frantically began taking puffs.

"I thought you _quit_ smoking… You can't do this around our parents, I hope you know."

Blaine practically growled, sucking in the rest of his cigarette and basically threw the butt into the cup beside Thad. "I don't _care_, Jonathan! I don't fucking _care_! I've been smoking since I was fourteen! Mother and Father _never_ found out then, and they won't now!"

Jonathan raised his chin slightly, just blinking a few times, looking as his brother clamped his eyes shut and continued looking upset. "Are you done with your little tantrum…?" He asked, shaking his head as though in disbelief. "That is _not _an acceptable way to behave, Blaine," he scolded the boy, getting himself a confused, slightly fearful look from his brother.

"I – I know, I'm sorry, I—" Blaine stuttered out, attempting some kind of apologetic, guilty look, eyes darting around, though his anger then took over his attempt to put on his proper-family-appropriate face. "I, fuck. No, dammit. Look, Jonathan, I can't do this right now. I have a fucking problem I have to deal with," he huffed, shaking his head beginning to get his coat on, fumbling in his rage.

"Blaine, please, this is—"

"Wait – wait. Someone needs to freaking explain to me what's going on!" Finn broke out of his silent haze, staring angrily at David, the one who had suggested a sexual assault.

The dark-skinned boy bristled at the sudden attention, but nodded, hastily trying to think of a way to explain everything. "Okay. Okay, well… Yesterday, in the morning, we found Kurt—"

"—_I_ found Kurt—"

"Fucking _okay_, Trent. Anyway. _Trent_ found Kurt. He was, um, tied up to the doors of an abandoned building on – uh, a different part of campus, kind of. It was when the blizzard was really bad," David tried, stumbling over his words and attempting to describe to the best of his abilities. Finn looked as though he was in shock. "And, well, they, like, jumped him or something, before they tied him up, because he was all bruised and stuff… But, well, you heard us when we came in… We think they – well, _he_ – might have done something…else…"

Finn just shook his head, his eyes almost foggy with disbelief. "…And…_who_ was the guy you said did this…?"

Nick sighed and shut his eyes at the pure desperateness and pain in Kurt's brother's voice.

"Renny… He's this kid who—"

"_Renny_?" Jonathan cut Trent off as he began to answer, looking shocked. "Renny _Bright_?"

Blaine swallowed thickly, not answering or indicating any kind of response, only training his eyes to the floor, absently running his hand over his tattoo through his shirt.

Wes looked between Blaine and Jonathan, his eyes narrowed in confusion, his expression incredulous. "_You_ know Renny?"

* * *

><p>"Kurt?" Jeff gave a few solid knocks to the door and darted his tongue out to run over his lip ring, then sighed when there was no response. "…Kurt?"<p>

The pale boy suddenly opened the door, seemingly slightly out of breath as he smiled softly at the blonde. "Sorry, I was just getting out of the shower, I – here," he stepped aside to let the other boy in, "come in," he closed the door behind Jeff, clad in only a dark navy towel. "I'm just gonna… I'll be right back," he offered the blonde, grabbing a couple items of clothing from his bed and walking into the bathroom.

Jeff just nodded, and sat down on Thad's bed, seeing Kurt's was uncharacteristically unmade and messy, and he wondered – but didn't _really_ wonder, because he really knew – why. His eyebrows furrowed together slightly at the whole idea that his mind came up with at the sight.

Sex.

Sexual things, in general.

Two _boys_ together, in bed.

Being touched.

Being…

Gay.

"Sorry, I, um," Kurt entered the bedroom, looking slightly flushed in the cheeks, and made a vague gesture to the bathroom and sat on his bed, and Jeff raised a questioning eyebrow, his mouth curled up in a smirk, "I just wanted to – shower…"

At this, the blonde let his lips crack into a small grin, and he let out a light, huffy laugh. "I…heard you and Blaine were up to…something here," he commented, speaking slowly with an attempted suggestive tone. "Nick heard," he explained at Kurt's horrified expression.

The pale boy's eyes were wide and he trained his eyes on the wall across from him to avoid making eye contact with Jeff. "Oh," he nodded slightly, his cheeks tinged with pink. _They heard me and Blaine…moaning…?_ Jeff giggled at his expression, slightly amused at how easily his friend was embarrassed. Kurt stood up to look for the rest of his clothing, as he was dressed in only boxers and an undershirt. As he made to approach his dresser, he quickly shifted his gaze up to meet the blonde's. "Uh – we, um. We weren't, _you know_… We were just…" He trailed off, shrugging as he wasn't exactly sure what else to say, or if he _wanted_ to describe what they had been doing.

_Oh, you know, Jeff. We were just rubbing our dicks together beautifully. Just some frottage, it was great!_

Jeff nodded, then looked down, licking his lips once before speaking. "Look, I wanted to talk to you about something, Kurt. I… I know you—" he sighed, searching for words, "—_get sick_ a lot."

Kurt abandoned his search for clothes, sighing, and sat down across from Jeff again, on his own bed, looking at him curiously, though slightly timid. "I… W-what do you mean?"

The blonde boy opened his mouth to respond, but hesitated. "…Just… I hear you throwing up a lot. Like, ever since you got here…" Kurt didn't say anything, but just looked at the other boy. "I guess… I just wanted to know…why," he watched Kurt's face, seeing his reaction to the question.

The pale boy sighed, and nodded slightly, his hand coming up to gently run through his wet hair as he thought. "Well, you… You know about what happened…to me. What I was freaking out about when I was on acid." It wasn't a question, but Jeff nodded slightly, though felt he needed to verify… Was Kurt talking about when he killed someone? Or when he was…?

"The, um…" The blonde stopped, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"The rape," Kurt provided him gently with a nod, then cast his eyes downward. "I was _raped_…and…" He trailed off, his face looking contemplative before he spoke again, though this time with a different tone. "When you get…violated like that, it's – well, it's _horrible_, obviously, and a lot of other things, but," He sighed, narrowing his eyes, tilting his head to the side, "something people don't really _realize_…is that it's… Well, it's _nauseating_," He kind of laughed, humorlessly, eyes still not meeting the other boy's.

Jeff swallowed, and nodded, watching Kurt's face as he was clearly revisiting his attack. He suddenly felt responsible for making the boy have to think about it.

"…Literally," Kurt said suddenly, startling Jeff slightly out of his thoughts. "It's… It makes you horribly nauseous," he shrugged, "and…it's something that takes…_forever_ to not think constantly about… So, it comes back to you," he said, almost matter-of-factly, his gaze finally shifting to look at Jeff. "You _think _about it, you have _flashbacks_ about it… You _dream_ about it…" He trailed off, shaking his head a little sadly. "And the _sickness_ comes back… And I don't know if it's – I mean, I have a weak stomach, so…"

Kurt just sort of blinked, just sort of ending it there, shrugging lightly. Jeff nodded, and opened his mouth, trying to say something, feeling he should at least thank the boy for sharing, or react in _some_ way.

The pale boy seemed to notice, looking up at the blonde after a few moments of silence. "Is that—? I mean, if that answers what you wanted to know…" He kind of flushed a little bit, slightly embarrassed, realizing he had sort of gone off on a rant about his experience. "Why I throw up a lot," he sort of rolled his eyes at the complicated answer to the seemingly simple question.

Jeff gave him a kind of uncertain, conflicted smile in return, and nodded, his tongue coming out to play with his lip ring. Kurt noticed this, and took in the distressed expression on his friend's face.

"It…gets better… You know?" Kurt offered him, trying to lighten up the conversation. He saw Jeff give him a faintly confused, but curious look at the statement. "There was a while there – back when it first happened – and I was…sent to a therapist, like, three times a week… And I didn't even really talk to anyone when I didn't _have_ to," he recalled, nodding very slowly. "…I thought I'd been…_damaged_. Like…_broken_. Not…hurt. Or fixable… I thought I'd been sent to this – this _unreal_, _horrible_ place…" His brows furrowed together, feeling the pain of his memory. "And I thought… That was just how it was gonna be. Nothing I could do," he shrugged, then sighed deeply.

_This is the first time he's telling anyone this,_ Jeff realized suddenly, _I can tell…_

"Then," Kurt breathed, obviously struggling, "hmmm… I…_attacked_ someone. When I had a psychotic break. And I went to _jail_, and… I just sort of _lived_, you know?" But Jeff narrowed his eyes slightly in confusion, not quite understanding, and Kurt shook his head, explaining. "Not in the good sense, when people say it, but just _literally_. I ate. And I slept and I didn't _think_ too much…or dream. But…" He laughed, realizing his earlier promise of it 'getting better' wasn't exactly coming through, and judging by the morbid look on Jeff's face he wasn't sounding too positive. "But it gets better… It _got_ better, I met Blaine and… As stupid as some of that stuff that went on between us at _first_ was, I was…so, _so_, much better than I was before… And _now_—? We're together and – I can't even explain it."

Jeff smiled, somewhat shyly, at his friend, not even realizing how much of huge impact someone could have in someone else's life.

Maybe he could have that…

"When you…get _hurt_ like I did… In that sort of way… It helps…having someone there, walking you through everything, you know, especially intimate things," Kurt admitted, his cheeks and neck flushing. "He's so…_patient_, I…" He breathed out a small laugh, "Blaine just helps me forget… No, not forget. _Heal_. He helps me heal."

* * *

><p>Blaine huffed, finally snapping at his brother, and turned to the older man. "Just fucking stay out of this, Jonathan! You don't know the shit that's gone down between us since we've been here!"<p>

Blaine's brother still looked stunned. "_Renny_ was sent _here_? He was sent to the same school as you…? Why the fuck didn't you ever tell me that?" All the boys flinched slightly at the man's anger slipping through his polite mask.

"Why? Would you have come to visit _him_?" Blaine stormed up to his brother, not striking, but getting so close to him that the other boy could most likely feel his heated, angry breath on his face.

Hazel eyes met darker, colder ones.

The brothers shared a menacing glare, staring intensely into each other's eyes, heat emanating within the short space between them. There seemed to be an entire conversation going on through eye-contact. Just by seeing the two, it was clear that they had shared a long, complicated, messy, resentful history.

"Okay, _wait_," Thad said finally, breaking the tension-filled silence and turning to face Blaine. "You knew Renny before you came here?"

But Blaine didn't respond, only continued to glare into his brother's eyes, the strain between them building. He saw Jonathan react to Thad's statement, how he was surprised that they weren't aware of his previous association with the red-haired boy.

Without taking his eyes away from his brother, Jonathan hissed out a scoff. "It's that little fag friend of yours, Kurt, isn't it? Afraid to tell him the shit you used to be mixed up in?"

Finn jumped at the man, pushing him hard, and bringing a fist down to his shoulder to press him against a wall of the room. Blaine growled, and shoved his brother harder into the wall, rattling the window frames.

"You _don't_ talk about my brother that way!" Finn shouted, from where he was beside Blaine, close to Jonathan's suddenly-panicked face.

"You call Kurt that _one_ more time and I swear to _god_ you will regret it," Blaine breathed, seething. He eyed the man in front of him for a few moments, his eyes narrowing. "And you know fucking _damn_ well that I was never the one doing that shit back home!" Blaine backed off, visibly controlling his anger. He blinked a few times and, without taking his eyes away from his brother, "You keep him here, Finn. He doesn't need to be involved in this… This is between _us_ and _Renny_."

And with that, the group of boys in the room, minus Finn and Jonathan, stalked off, through the main doors that exited to the outside, leaving behind two stunned, shocked young men.

* * *

><p>Jeff sighed, sitting in the silence that had engulfed the room since the end of their conversation. Kurt had simply stood up from his position on his bed and begun finishing getting dressed after he had finished speaking.<p>

The pale boy rummaged through his drawers, but frowned. If he was allowed to wear his own clothes, he was going to take full advantage of that. But most of his best apparel was packed in the bags he had attempted to take home the day before…

Either way, Kurt needed to do _something_, so he continued to pretend to look for clothes. It was painfully obvious that Jeff wanted to talk to him about _something_. After all, why had the blonde wandered into his room to ask him why he vomited?

_Maybe this has to do with what's been going on with him lately…_ Kurt thought, his eyes still fixed on his casual clothes that he put in his drawers, the ones that didn't need to be hung. _He __has__ been throwing up a lot… Maybe he thought I was getting sick for the same reason he was and wanted to ask me about it…? But Jeff… His behavior…_

_Is Jeff bulimic?_

"Kurt," Jeff breathed finally, his voice clearly colored with struggle as he tried to breach the topic, "I, um… I actually…"

The pale boy turned around, wearing what he hoped was a warm and understanding smile, waiting for the boy to speak, to share.

But before Jeff could go any further, his phone vibrated in his pocket. He blinked a few times, caught somewhat off-guard by the interaction, and fished out the device to look at the screen.

_might need ur backup. shit going down w renny. where r u? – N_

Jeff's eyes widened at the content, and he blinked, looking back up to Kurt, realizing he had trailed off, smiling slightly, apologetic. "Uh… Sorry. Hold on a sec," he mumbled, quickly typing a reply.

_Im hanging with Kurt. Y, whats going on? – J _

Before the blonde boy could even place his phone down for more than a few seconds, he got a response.

_DONT tell him wats going on, k? b wants to fight renny. k doesnt need to be there for this – N _

Jeff slowly shifted his gaze back to Kurt, who was standing with a questioning raised eyebrow, looking at his curiously. "What's up? Who are you talking to?"

The blonde boy's eyebrows knitted together for a moment in thought, but he quickly recovered with a small smile. "Oh, just…Nick. You know," he said casually, shrugging a little, to which Kurt's eyebrow raised even higher. "I'm gonna go…see him. I – he wants to talk to me about something, um, in person," Jeff nodded, a little frantically, and came to his feet, moving towards the door.

"Jeff, wait," Kurt said after a moment of recovering from the confusing leave, turning towards the boy, "Are you sure you don't…need to talk about…anything else?" Kurt winced at his awful attempt at hiding that he knew something.

Jeff looked shocked for a split-second, but then gave Kurt an obviously-painful and fake smile, his eyes darting to the door nervously. "No, I'm just—! I need to go see Nick right now! I'll catch you later, Kurt!"

Kurt watched as Jeff avoided their interaction and began heading out the door mid-sentence, eventually calling out as he got so far away. Perhaps he'd find out what was going on with the boy another time…

* * *

><p>"You gonna listen to me now?" Blaine panted, slightly winded from physical exertion, as he leaned over the taller boy, who was slouched against the wall, eyeing him with disgust. Renny made an attempt to pull an arm free, but both were being held back by Nick and David. Instead, he shrugged one shoulder towards his face to angrily rid some of the blood from the skin surrounding his mouth and chin.<p>

"Fuck you," he hissed, his eyes squinting in disdain for the boy in front of him.

Blaine sighed tiredly, irritated. He turned to face the expanse of snow-covered land, away from where the group was pushed up again the wall of Arts. He ran a hand over his face, as though contemplating his actions, then, without warning, snapped back around and struck the boy hard in the jaw, causing him to let out a grunt of pain.

"Fine, fine! _Fuck_," he spit onto the ground in front of him, blood bright red in contrast to the snowy ground. "What the hell do you _want_?"

Blaine stared at the red-haired teen for a moment, eyes hard, and then rushed up to him, grabbing his shoulders in his hands, his grip deadly. "You fucking _damn well_ know what I want! You fucking disgusting little—"

"_B_," Jeff interrupted, stepping forward to place a careful hand on the curly-haired boy's, attempting to pry him off of the injured redhead.

Blaine nodded at Jeff silently, and stepped back, breathing hard. "What did you _do_ to him?" He asked curtly.

Renny huffed and rolled his eyes. "Nothing that fag didn't—" This time it was Trent who cut him off, grabbing a fistful of the boy's red hair, from his position beside David, using it as leverage to smash the boy's head into the wall. "What the fuck?" But all seven of the boys just glared at him, and he _knew _what he had said. "_Whatever_. We saw him running, and grabbed him, started kickin' the shit outta him… Tied him up, I don't know what you want me to say," he sighed airily.

"You said he _loved_ it," Wes reminded him bitterly, leaving his position beside Blaine, Thad and Jeff and approaching the boy, getting in his face, "that he was screaming for it. What's '_it_'?"

At this, Renny's lips twitched up, just the slightest amount, and he tried to pull them down to his previous neutral expression. "Just the beatings, he knew he _deserved_ it—"

"Don't fucking lie to me, Bright," Blaine growled, so low and quiet that the other boys nearly didn't hear it. "I know – I fucking _know_ – what you're capable of…" He narrowed his hazel eyes at the redhead and watched the boy's lips play up in a smirk.

"…Said 'don't touch me,' and begged for us to not take his clothes off," Renny recalled, blinking, a smile on his faraway face, as though it were a fond memory, "and we said that…if that's what he doesn't want, then we should do it," he laughed, and Blaine didn't even jump at him, his face too twisted up in pain to react properly. The redhead's smile widened at the sight, as though he enjoyed retelling the story to hurt the others. "So we _stripped_ him down…and smacked him around a little like that. He was freakin' out," the boy smirked, but was confused when Blaine's face softened with relief.

"…That… That's it?" The curly-haired boy breathed carefully, as though dying in anticipation and hope of the answer. The other Warblers all waited with the same expectance, looking at the redhead as he responded.

"Yeah…?" The red-haired boy seemed confused, wondering what they were expecting him to say. "…Well we were gonna leave him like that, lyin' on the ground, but he got up and started puttin' his stuff back on and tried to run, so that's when we tied him," he added, still puzzled at the thankful looks the boys were giving each other. "What? What'd you think? I still don't get why you fags are doin' this to me. I told you before, all we did was rough him up," he scoffed angrily, yanking again on his arms, but to no avail.

Blaine, still overcome with relief, just nodded blankly, realizing that Renny and his goons' stupidity of not understanding Kurt's pleas were actually what saved the pale boy from something far worse. From something he'd already had to experience before.

From sexual assault.

"Too bad, though," Renny sighed distantly, looking off into the field in front of them, "when we tied him up, we were hoping he'd end up freezin' there," he smiled, like it was a pleasant idea, and Blaine's blood began to boil again, "you know, no one would have given a shit that a little faggot like him died—"

Blaine leapt at him.

But this time, no one immediately pulled him back.

* * *

><p>Finn and Jonathan sat in silence for a decent while, the taller teen breathing angrily, and the older man smirking condescendingly at the boy's apparent frustration. Neither of them made eye contact, but simply sat in quiet, until Finn huffed loudly and turned to face him from his own chair.<p>

"Okay, dude, seriously! What the hell?" Finn shook with anger, having a difficult time sitting in the same room with a man who so openly insulted his brother, in _front_ of him… _And in front of his boyfriend – _were him and Blaine boyfriends? –_ who was also gay_! "How could you say that, man?" Jonathan rolled his eyes, hardly acknowledging him. "Especially considering…" Finn trailed off, not understanding how someone could use that word – well, granted, _he_ had used that word, but that was before he and Kurt were close – with a gay brother.

This got Jonathan's attention. He looked up to Finn, and raised an eyebrow, mock-elegantly. "Considering _what_, exactly…?"

Finn's face twisted slightly in thought and confusion. How does one go about just saying these kinds of things? "Well, I mean… With Blaine, and everything…"

"_Blaine_?" The older boy scoffed, narrowing his eyes slightly. "Why would _he_ be one to stop me from—? No, see, _Blaine_… Blaine… You need to know some things about Blaine… My little brother might not have been one to go bashing with us _frequently_, but the one that got Renny Bright sent here?" He laughed, shaking his head morbidly at the memory, "Almost _killed_ the little queer… He was there – _Blaine_ was there for that one…"

* * *

><p>"B. B, that's enough… <em>Blaine<em>," Thad yanked on the back of Blaine's jacket, pulling him away from the injured boy on the ground. Blaine stumbled back and gulped in breaths, staring down at the red-haired teen, knowing he shouldn't let himself go any further with the fight, but acknowledging that sometimes, violence was the only way to get across a message to a guy like Renny. But he was done…

"Okay, I…" Blaine panted, catching his breath, looking to the other Warblers for a moment, who had long abandoned holding down the redhead, letting the two boys have their fair fight. He turned back to Renny. "I want…you and your friends to understand something, okay…? You mess with Kurt again, you'll be worse off than this, let me tell you… You sick little fuck..." He reached down to the boy who was lying against the edge of the wall, looking down, and yanked him by the collar of his coat, pulling him to a standing position. "Did you _hear_ me?"

Renny wobbled a bit on his feet and spit blood to his side, leaning against the wall behind him for support, but nodded, "I heard you. Fuck… He your _boyfriend_ or something, fag?"

Blaine growled and threw a hard fist, smashing it against Renny's cheekbone, knocking him against the wall further, as his head snapped to the side.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" David pulled Blaine back again, and gave him a look. The curly-haired boy only nodded in response, and straightened up, watching Renny touch his injury. "Are you gonna keep being a little idiot?"

"…_No_," the redhead sneered in return, rolling his eyes, but actually somewhat afraid to get hurt again.

"_Good_. Listen, I want you guys to get into your thick fucking skulls that this shit going on between us? It needs to fucking _stop_," Blaine watched as the redhead didn't smirk, or scoff, or laugh at this, but simply narrowed his eyes, continuing to listen. "We beat the shit out of each other, we've broken each other's stuff, but you went _too fucking far_…" Blaine had to remember to control himself, trying to even out his breathing. "Kurt could have _died_, Renny. _Died_… Now, _we_'ve backed off from you guys, but you're the ones who keep coming back, fucking with us… And I want to make something _very…clear…_ You can't. Touch. Hummel. You got that?"

Renny considered this, then blinked a few times, and sighed, sounding defeated. "Fine."

* * *

><p>"Ugh," Blaine grunted, looking displeased as he approached the doors of the common room, "I got his <em>blood<em> all over my jacket," his face scrunched up a little bit, pulling the garment away from himself so he could see the specks of red.

"Dude, I think that's _your_ blood," Wes commented, kind of amused, but watching his friend's face for his reaction.

Blaine eyed the spots, then brought a hand up to his mouth to find some dried blood, remembering when Renny had punched him in the mouth and he had tasted his gums bleeding. "Oh… Yeah, maybe," he muttered back, only slightly embarrassed, but figuring _some _of the blood must belong to the other boy, because he hadn't bled _that_ much…

The seven boys entered the room, all of them dropping to silence at the sight of Finn and Jonathan sitting in two of the leather chairs near the back of the area, and near them stood a particular fair-skinned boy.

Kurt. Who looked especially distressed at the moment.

"Hey…Kurt," Blaine spoke meekly, seeing the expression on his boyfriend's face. He had to hold himself back from going up to the boy and putting his arms around him, or physically comforting him in some way, due to his brother's presence.

But it turns out that he didn't need to be worried. As soon as Blaine approached the pale boy, he flinched away slightly, looking at the curly-haired boy with an odd expression.

Hesitance. Worry. Concern. Fear…?

"Kurt, what's wrong?" Blaine's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he took in the other boy's behavior, but Kurt continued to back away from him, this time a slight tint of irritation present in his face.

"Blaine, please… He – your brother – he told me that you…" Kurt trailed off, eyeing Blaine's faint bruise on his face and the dried blood on his chin and clothes. "Blaine, what happened? Oh god, are you okay?" He came up to him and went to touch his face, but pulled away, remembering Jonathan.

Blaine realized after a moment that he was referring to his physical state and nodded quickly, reassuringly. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I – um… I just… I beat the shit out of Renny for all that crap that went down yesterday…" Kurt tilted his head slightly to the side, the concern, shock, and appreciation showing on his face.

"Y-you did?"

Blaine blinked, confused. Of course he did… Why _wouldn't_ he defend his boyfriend…? "I – of _course_… I… Kurt…" He trailed off, looking behind his boyfriend where Finn and Jonathan sat, along with the others who had joined them in their silence. His brother was smirking subtly, and Finn was sending a death glare _Blaine_'s way, and the rest of the guys were sitting, eyeing those two uncomfortably or shifting and trying not to. "Kurt… What's going on?" He said quietly, so that hopefully none of the others would overhear, gesturing slightly to those behind him.

Kurt brought his lips together in a tight line and blinked. "I think we need to talk," Kurt breathed, "not like—! Just...about some things," he added, after seeing a panicked expression take over his boyfriend's features. Blaine sighed, and nodded, licking his lips once before speaking.

"Yeah… Good, I wanted to…talk to you about some…things, as well…"

* * *

><p><em>Blaine glanced around the room, full of drunken teenagers that he vaguely knew, and away from the girl sitting on top of him—<em>

"Wait," Trent interrupted Blaine's story, giving him a serious look, "you were with a _girl_?"

Blaine sighed, running a hand down his face and looking at the occupants of the room, lingering on Kurt for a moment longer as the pale boy gave him a look that was somewhere between amused and sympathetic. Blaine readjusted himself on his bed and reluctantly nodded his head slightly, looking embarrassed.

"Yes, okay? _Yes_, I was pitifully repressing my sexuality—"

"Go on," Wes and Nick said at the same time, exchanging a look before turning expectant eyes towards their curly-haired friend.

"Oh, god, _please_ _do_ go on, Blaine," David added, earning a glare.

After a pause, Blaine sighed, sounding defeated, but a painful smile rose to his lips. "Oh, fuck, _fine_. It was fucking awful… Seriously, you guys are gonna cringe hearing this."

_"I'm so __wet__," the girl – what was her name? – whispered, __slurred__, into his ear. Blaine sighed, and nodded slowly, unsure, but just continued to run his hands down her back, stopping before he got too low. Instead of responding, he reattached his mouth to hers, moving his lips slowly and hearing her moan into his mouth._

_That was the goal – to get them aroused. It sort of turned him off to think about, girls being __wet__, but he figured that was because __he__ didn't get wet when he was aroused, it was a __girl__ thing. He just didn't understand it… Blaine was sure it would feel amazing to fuck a girl. To get a blowjob or anything like that. He didn't have to think about the specifics as long as he was able to hook up with someone._

_"Get a fucking room," someone called out, and Blaine detached himself for a moment to see some guy he was pretty sure he didn't know, sit down on the couch beside him and whatever her name was, most likely the one who had made the comment. _

_The girl straddling his waist laughed loudly, grinning, as though it was cute to be making out with a stranger at a party, or like it was a __compliment__ that someone suggested that. Blaine felt her hot breath on his skin and it reeked of beer. "Do you wanna…?" _

_Blaine sucked in a sharp breath, his hands instinctively moving to release her, but nodded jerkily, thinking it would be fine. He was nervous, sure, but it would be fine. He should lose his damn virginity already, after all… Right? _

_The girl – __Brandi!__ Blaine remembered, 'with an I' she had told him – dragged him upstairs and found an empty room, pushing him inside and onto the bed. "What do you want, B? I'll do __everything__ to you," she slurred, taking a position on top of him, straddling his hips as he lied flat on his back._

_"Uh, yeah. W-whatever," Blaine nodded, hearing his voice shaking and sounding breathy._

_Brandi yanked her shirt over her head, tossing it to the side of the bed, and unclasped her bra, also throwing it somewhere. Blaine breathed hard, taking in her full breasts, just staring at them... He'd made out with girls countless times…but… This was the first time he'd seen a girl topless and he felt like it wasn't as big a deal as other guys made it seem, but it was good. It was nice. He didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do, though. _

_He darted his eyes back to her face to see her giving him a slightly expectant look, as though wanting him to take some sort of action… Was he supposed to…keep looking at them? Not look at them? _

_Touch them…? Yes, surely that was the right thing for him to do in this situation. He reached his hands out tentatively and placed them over her breasts, and after a moment, sort of began massaging them. _

_He heard her let out a soft hum, almost some kind of moan, and then she bent down over him to attach her mouth with his, and he kept rubbing her… He opened his eyes during their kiss and looked uncomfortably over to the side, where a nightstand was, not at her. Was he doing this right? He felt so god damn nervous and awkward… After a minute, he realized Brandi was beginning to pull away from him._

_"Do you – do you have a __condom__?" She breathed sexily, running her hands under Blaine's shirt, making him tense slightly._

_"I – no. I don't… Sorry…" He swallowed, realizing this was most likely a problem..._

_"Oh, that's okay, B," she purred, scooting down onto his legs to be able to access his jeans, and began unbuttoning them. "I'll just…take care of you, tonight." _

_She unzipped his pants and reached into them, through the open fly of his boxers and grabbed his penis, pulling it out. Her smirk faltered for a moment at the sight of it, but she turned back up to look at Blaine. "Had a few too many, tonight? Don't worry, I'll help you out there."_

_Blaine frowned, confused, before looking down and realizing he was completely soft, not aroused at all. Wow, he must really be nervous. "O-oh, yeah, sorry, I'm just… I'm really drunk."_

_He was completely sober._

"Shut the fuck up!" Blaine growled, trying to speak over the laughter of David, Nick, Wes, Thad and Trent. "I'm _gay_, it was uncomfortable and awkward…" After they still didn't stop, he added in a mumbled voice, "_you_ guys wanted to hear it. I told you it was fucking terrible…"

"N-no," Thad breathed through his laughter, attempting to calm it, "please keep going."

_Before he knew what was happening, Brandi's mouth was suddenly around his penis, and he shuddered forward, clamping his eyes shut. _

_That felt good._

_He heard her moaning in her high, fake way she had been all night and realized it was an incredible turn-off for him. Couldn't she just…not make any noise? It was just that her voice really __was__ irritating…_

_Regardless, Blaine felt himself grow hard in her mouth as she began sucking and licking his cock, and pretty soon, instead of going down his entire length, she was only able to bob her head along the top. Blaine reached out blindly, his eyes still closed, and came in contact with her thin shoulders, and for a moment, he envisioned himself grasping a pair of broader, more defined shoulders and—_

_Wait, what the fuck?_

_He pushed the thought away._

_"Hey, Blaine!" A voice startled the two teens violently, both of them jumping and snapping their heads towards the door that had opened. "Come on, man, let's go." _

_"__Renny__! What the fuck? Get __out__!" Brandi screeched, pulling the blanket on the bed up to hide her chest, looking scandalized. _

_The redhead raised an eyebrow questioningly at her, then gave Blaine an almost-pitying look as he hastily tucked himself back into his pants and closed his zipper, his cheeks flooding with color. "Dude, even a pathetic loser like __you__ shouldn't get with this __slut__," he said the word like it tasted badly, directing his gaze back at Brandi, "you know, you gave me the __clap__ you little whore," he sneered, narrowing his eyes slightly._

_Brandi's eyes widened in horror and she grabbed her shirt from the floor, abandoning her bra, and fled into the attached bathroom, with a last cry of "Fuck you!"_

_Blaine's eyebrows shot up, and he eyed the room around him absently in thought. _

_The clap? Isn't that gonorrhea…?_

_But then he remembered the boy standing in the doorway and sat up, coming to the edge of the bed and glaring at the redhead leaning against the doorway casually. "Renny, what the hell? What the fuck do you want?"_

_At this, Renny pushed himself from the doorframe and jerked his head in the direction of the stairs. "Come on, Jonny called. 'S gonna come get both of us," he said, beginning to walk out the door before Blaine even responded._

_The curly-haired boy followed him through the door and caught up with him as Renny began making his way down the stairs. "I don't need a ride from him. I can walk home later…" He informed the other boy, eyebrow raised in question. __Jonny never gives me rides… Why is wanting to now?_

_"He's not giving you a ride __home__. We're __taking__ you somewhere," Renny replied nonchalantly as he led Blaine to the coat closet and began putting his on, throwing the other boy's to him._

_"…Why? Why would my brother – or __you__, for that matter – want anything to do with me? You only ever talk to me because of Jonny…" Blaine trailed off, his eyes narrowed in suspicion, but pulled his jacket on regardless._

_The redhead rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "Stop…__whining__. We need backup. Don't be a little bitch about this."_

* * *

><p><em>"W-where are we going?" Blaine asked tentatively, eyeing the passing scenery through the car window, feeling anxious. <em>

_"Shut up, moron," Jonathan snapped, sounding only slightly intoxicated. He turned around from the passenger seat to look at his younger brother in the back, his eyes narrowed, annoyed-looking. "The only reason you're here is because Nathan's sick, and we want to make sure we get this guy…" _

_The curly-haired boy's eyebrows shot up at this, and his eyes darted to the passengers beside him, Renny and another boy he didn't know. He remembered the driver had a name like Tuck, or Todd. Something short that began with the letter 'T'… "Are we…? We're not going…__bashing__ are we…?" When he saw Renny and the other boy in the backseat exchange mischievous smirks, he inhaled a sharp breath, shaking his head slightly. "Oh! No. No, you guys, I'm really not—! I don't think I should—" _

_"Shit, Jonny. You never told us your brother was such a little pussy," the driver scoffed, interrupting him, causing the occupants of the car, minus Blaine and Jonathan, to snicker slightly. _

_Jonathan huffed, twisting around to look at the curly-haired boy. "B, __fuck__, just suck it up. You __never__ come with us, just stop acting like a fucking girl and help us out. It could do you some damn good."_

_It could do you some damn good._

_Blaine clamped his mouth shut, his eyebrows coming together. He knew what __that__ meant. He knew what his brother thought about him._

_Blaine smoked cigarettes and weed. He partied, he got drunk a lot, not as much as __Jonny__ and __Renny__ did, but he got drunk. He made out with random girls at parties and stole things from stores… _

_But that wasn't enough for his brother. Jonny did all those things, but __much__ more frequently. And more intensely. _

_He also bashed people._

_Jonathan Anderson and his closest group of friends, which included Lawrence Bright, got the reputation to do what they referred to as __bashing__. They would go out during the night and hunt down specific kids when they were alone and beat the living shit out of them. _

_These people were usually those on the lower end of the 'danger scale,' – or so they called it – meaning, basically, that they were weaker, more vulnerable students who had offended or pissed them off in some way, but were no threat. Blaine recalled overhearing his brother complaining, __seething__, about a guy in school that slashed his tires because of an ongoing feud between them, but he was unable to pursue a 'bash' on the kid, because he was too __dangerous__. _

_Compared to Jonathan – badass, partying, __bashing__ – Blaine was a disappointment._

_That being said, Blaine was mildly well-behaved around his parents. His father was a commissioner in the Ohio Union County government and his family was extremely wealthy. They expected nothing short of proper, sophisticated sons, and when it came purely to appearances, they might as well have been. But in reality, Blaine's parents were sorely disappointed in their sons' behavior, and complained about their every action._

_Compared to the children of other candidates – appropriate, polite, well-mannered – Blaine was a disappointment._

_He wasn't __bad__ enough for his brother, and he wasn't __good__ enough for his parents. _

* * *

><p><em>"Okay, Chaz said he saw him walking down on the street by…Gina's place," the driver remembered, pulling into an empty lot near a residential area and making a grunt of strain as he twisted around to reach into the space behind his seat, Blaine having to scoot his feet to the side, to grab a six-pack of beer that was there. <em>

_He ripped one away from the plastic rings and chucked it in Blaine's direction, though the boy, not expecting it, didn't catch it, and it dropped onto his crotch, causing him to wince and let out a small huff of pain. The other boy passed the beers around, and Blaine raised an eyebrow, realizing even the driver was having one. _

_Blaine wasn't a huge fan of beer, he usually drank to get drunk… He was used to downing shots of hard liquor, feeling the burn more than tasting the alcohol itself. But to play along, he yanked on the tab of the can and took a sip, holding down his gag._

_"He should be here any minute… Oh! There he is!" The boy beside Blaine pointed messily through the front windshield after a good twenty minutes of waiting, and the curly-haired boy strained to see who he was referring to. His heart sank when he saw the short, blonde boy walking quickly on the sidewalk lining the dimly lit parking lot, his phone in front of him as he texted. Lance Baker… The kid who was known at their school for being… Gay. "Little fag checked me out in the locker room today… We'll teach him not to be so queer!" He heard a rustling of items being grabbed and blinked in shock for a moment._

_Before Blaine could even comprehend the situation, or react, the occupants of the car flooded out the doors, and from his position inside the vehicle, he saw them all run up to the boy and grab him, against his struggles, and drag him to the far end of the parking lot, where the streetlight was the darkest. _

_Finally finding his legs, he sprung out of the vehicle and dashed towards the group, hardly able to feel his body as he did so. He could hear his heart pounding in his chest, the sound ringing through his ears and he skidded to a halt in front of the boys. _

_He was already on the ground._

_And all four of the boys were bringing down weapons of different kinds to smash into Lance's body, the muffled sound of hitting and strangled whimpers filling the curly-haired boy's mind._

_"Blaine!" Said boy jumped almost a foot in the air as Jonathan viciously grumbled his name, turning away from their victim for just long enough to lay his eyes on his brother, looking confused. "What the fuck are you doing, B? Get in on this!" _

_But Blaine just shook his head, staring in shock. "N-no! No way, I can't do that—!" _

_"What the fuck do you mean? You've come bashing with us before!" His brother countered, sounding a mix between annoyed and furious._

_"But – but that was when that guy keyed your car! Lance – he didn't do anything!"_

_Renny let out an eerily dark chuckled, shooting a quick look to Blaine. "He was being __gay__. And that's fucking enough," he hissed the last part, sounding almost disgusted, and Blaine just stood in horror, watching the poor sophomore get his body abused, feeling like he should be doing something – anything – but finding his body unable to act for a good few minutes, feeling himself getting angrier at the situation, more desperate to get them to just __stop__, but was brought out of his thoughts when the injured boy finally let out a pleading cry._

_"Please, stop! Oh god – stop!" The young boy choked out, his blood covering too much of the ground._

_Blaine exhaled shakily, his breaths becoming shorter and faster, as he numbly found himself backing away from the others. "Y-you guys, maybe—"_

_"Don't be a fucking pussy, B. This fag deserves this," the red-haired teen hissed, breathless, from where he was crouched over the slight, pale teen, whose blonde hair was mostly matted down with blood._

_Blaine nodded, trembling and swallowing thickly, and his gaze darted back to the end of the parking lot, where their car was parked. Maybe if he snuck away without anyone noticing… But…he didn't know how to drive yet…_

_"Ah – please!" The blonde boy coughed out again, this time his sobbing evident in his voice._

_The two other boys stood straight at this, seemingly finished with what they had done, throwing their respective weapons off to the side, but the red-haired teen brought down his metal bat again onto the injured one's back, his face meeting again with the asphalt. _

_"Renny—" one of the other boys warned harshly, catching the bloodied weapon in midair as it was about to be used again, "—just – just leave him. He's gonna fucking bleed to death," he hissed, as though he was concerned someone might overhear him, though the situation was obvious if there were any onlookers. _

_Renny scoffed lightly, holding the older boy's gaze for a few moments before surrendering, chucking the bat onto the bleeding blonde, initiating a muffled whimper, and stepping back slightly, tilting his head appreciatively at his work. "Hope you learned something, faggot," he laughed darkly, leaning forward to spit onto the boy on the ground before waltzing off in the direction of their vehicle._

_Blaine remained frozen in his spot, watching the injured body shudder with sobs, the blood from his head and back leaking out onto the ground in two, smooth lines, pooling slightly, reflecting the light of the dim streetlamp in the parking lot. The curly-haired boy let out a sudden breath, conflicted, making to move towards the blonde to help – to do something – but hesitating._

_"Come on, B. That fag learned his lesson. Let's go," he heard his brother calling from further down the parking lot._

_"Yeah – he needs to understand that if he wants to keep being queer, we'll keep teaching him how not to be," Renny added, his voice eerily calm and mock-pleasant._

_From in front of him, Blaine heard the boy on the ground cough, and mumble out, loud enough for everyone to hear, "You can fucking kill me and I won't change." _

_Blaine let out a sympathetic breath, still unsure, and three of the other boys laughed mockingly, but one stayed completely silent._

_"What the fuck did you just say, faggot?" Renny turned slowly around, and came up beside Blaine, facing the victim, his face stony and dark. "Is that a fucking __challenge__?" _

_"Renny," Blaine tried, pulling on the back of the redhead's shirt as he tried to approach the blonde again with more anger evident in his stride and behavior. But the boy just shrugged him off harshly, almost making Blaine fall back._

_At this, the three other teens turned back around from where they were heading near the car and ran up to the red-haired boy as he violently began kicking the one on the ground._

_"Dude! Leave him! Enough already," the driver scolded, attempting, along with the others (including Blaine) to yank him away from the bleeding victim. _

_"You want me to fucking kill you, you queer? You think it's still worth being a little freak?" Renny was screaming now, kicking and struggling against the boys trying to restrain him, losing all composure he usually pretended to have._

_After a swift punch to the eye from said redhead during his effort to hold him back, Jonathan huffed, backing away from the attempt. "Fuck it! You guys, let's fucking go! Renny, we're fucking leaving, and you can come or not!" _

_With that, the three bashers fled the scene, leaving Blaine, Renny, and Lance, who was still being beaten violently by the redhead. Blaine heaved heavy breaths, still winded from trying to hold back the other boy, and made to run to the car, but hesitated. _

_"B! Help me finish this fucker off!" Renny panted, not taking his eyes away from the injured boy, but Blaine ignored the comment._

_Lance._

_He was going to die._

_He was going to get killed if he left him with Renny, wasn't he?_

_He had to do something…_

_But he heard the car start in the distance._

_And he ran for it, the sound of desperate whimpers and angry homophobic screams fading out and being replaced by his again frantic heartbeat, and the dull thudding of his feet stomping against the asphalt._

_"Blaine!" He heard Renny call after him as he got into the car. "You're just a little fag, too!" _

_As they exited the residential area, and made a few turns, the distinct sound of police sirens bled into the car, and all the occupants of the vehicle shared glances._

_But they said nothing._

* * *

><p>"…Shit."<p>

Blaine blinked a few times, just nodding slowly and staring into the space in front of him. "_Yeah_…"

Nick was slowly shaking his head, still in slight disbelief. "No, like…_shit_!" He flailed his arms around a bit, seemingly trying to come up with something to say. "Fuck!"

"Nick," Jeff tried, placing a hand on the dark-haired boy's shoulder, trying to be slightly amused at his roommate's stammering words, but his features betraying his true horror to the story Blaine had told.

"I know, I know… But…" Nick just shook his head, resisting the urge to huff out another profanity. There was thoughtful silence for a few moments, during which Kurt moved to sit beside his boyfriend, wrapping an arm around his waist and nuzzling Blaine's chest with his cheek, his hand grazing over the curly-haired boy's stomach slowly.

"Blaine," David began, breaking the silence, looking to his friend carefully. "Did he – did Renny not know you were gay, then…?"

The curly-haired boy let out a long breath, shifting to be able to pull his boyfriend flush against him. "He didn't – he _doesn't_ know I am."

"But… But he calls you a fa – you know – all the time," Trent pointed out, his eyebrow raised, but Blaine just shrugged, rolling his eyes exhaustedly.

"I don't know… Ever since that night, I mean, he got sent here, then _I_ got sent here and we saw each other again, so… He just started calling me it, and I never said anything…" Blaine paused, not entirely sure why he was finding it difficult to talk about this. "He doesn't actually _know_ I'm gay… No one back home does."

He felt Kurt tense slightly in his hold, but soon the boy relaxed again and even ran his hand over Blaine's hip comfortingly, and pressed a kiss to the side of his chest, letting him know that he understood the pain of being in the closet and hiding… Because he had been there, and it hurt.

"I think we kind of figured that one out when you introduced your _boyfriend_ to your brother as my _roommate_," Thad breathed flatly, raising an eyebrow slightly, though not in a judgmental way.

Everyone just sort of nodded, maybe in agreement or just acknowledgement, but a small silence fell over the eight boys, until Jeff interrupted it gently.

"Kurt…? He didn't…?" The blonde stopped, realizing he hadn't prefaced who or what he was talking about, and shook his head slightly as everyone turned to him curiously, the pale boy sitting up in his boyfriend's arms. "I mean, what B was saying before, about that kid they…bashed," he almost winced slightly at the word, as though it was hard for him to physically say. "I mean, I know they didn't…fuck you up _that_ bad," he made a vague gesture to Kurt's physical appearance, "but… What did he do to you…?"

Kurt licked his lips once, not making eye-contact with anyone as his eyebrows furrowed together. He knew he was going to have to tell, and judging from what Blaine had asked him after talking with Renny, the boys might already have a general idea…

"I think…" He started, blinking, almost in some kind of defeat or exhaustion, as he remembered the day. "I think they were waiting for me…"

* * *

><p><em>Kurt came to a stop near the Science wing, panting as he rested, his eyebrows knotting together in confusion as he took in the sky. Against the blatantly bright streetlamp near the entrance of the building, in the very-early morning light, small flickers of white were dancing down. <em>

_It was starting to snow._

_Sighing, the pale boy took off in the direction of the dorms, knowing that, although he was wearing a waterproof jacket, he wouldn't stay warm for long. After all, it was supposed to snow heavily later on in the day. He felt the burn of the cold air shooting down his throat, like acid, or ice, coursing through his lungs as he gulped in air._

_He hated to run. _

_But on nights when he couldn't get an ounce of sleep, nights when he needed to exhaust his body to the point of passing out, on nights like this one, it was necessary. _

_He turned around the building to enter through the lounge entrance, and before he could even react, there were hot, rough hands all around him, causing him to shriek out in surprise._

_"Shut up," someone hissed at him, and he felt his mouth being aggressively clamped shut with an unfamiliar palm. Combined with the cold – freezing cold – air, the hand covering his mouth, and the fact that his nose was already running slightly from the weather, Kurt found himself practically having an anxiety attack, panicking from not being able to breathe properly. _

_"Mmm! Mmm!" He mumbled loudly again the hand, and felt himself being taken somewhere, too many hands and arms and legs and bodies and faces to be able to make sense of anything quite yet._

_"Let's take him to Arts."_

_"Where?"_

_"The old Art Building – it's over there." _

_He knew it was Renny. He knew it was Renny before he could see the familiar red hair flash past his eyes, blurry from the cold and from being terrified. He knew it was Renny before he recognized the nasally, though scratchy voice, instructing his other tormentors what to do with him._

_Kurt was dropped onto the ground, and the snow that was there from a couple days past was icy and slightly wet, and was so cold it hurt, and he instantly lunged forward to attempt to rid the contact of the ice and his back, where he felt his muscles tensing and tightening and already beginning to tremble. He tried to stand._

_"Go," he heard Renny instruct, almost sounding bored._

_And then he felt a hard, sharp object make contact with his leg, with his knee. "Ahhh!" And he fell instantly back into the snow, cringing and moaning in pain, gripping tightly on the injured area._

_"Little fuckin' queer," he heard the redhead sneer, and he felt himself being pushed to lay on his back by what he only guessed was a foot, his injured leg still pulled up to his chest. "Guess that black eye wasn't enough for ya," the voice scoffed darkly. The pale boy forced his eyes open, taking in the four boys standing around him._

_Renny. The two that usually hung around him at all times. And a fourth one that he didn't recognize, but had seen around school. _

_But he didn't have much time to consider this, or contemplate, or try to remember the boy's name or what classes he might share with him, because in a split-second, a metal pipe of some kind was brought down onto his leg again, held in the hands of one of Renny's regular goons. And this time, actually seeing what was being used as a weapon, Kurt felt like he was going to vomit._

_"Stop! __Stop__!" He cried, but they wouldn't. He tried to struggle, but the pain nearly paralyzed him, like the message telling his body to move wasn't being delivered. He distantly acknowledged that more than one weapon was being used on him at that point, one sharp, another blunt, maybe there was more, he wasn't sure. _

_Kurt heard panting, heavy breathing, maybe his own, maybe coming from his attackers, for they had briefly given a pause. He thought for a fleeting, sweet second that they were finished, that they had decided that was enough, but then,_

_"Flip him over," _

_And all of the memories and nightmares and horrid flashbacks came flooding back into the pale boy's mind. The rape, and the man with the black, greasy hair and gap tooth, saying the same words, and he realized suddenly that this wasn't over._

_They're going to rape me._

_They're going to use one of those weapons and they're going to force it inside of me. I've heard of gay bashing involving sodomy, and that's what's going to happen to me._

_"Oh god, don't touch me! Don't touch me!" He found himself screeching desperately, as he felt his weak body turned over, so he was on his stomach, too sore to protest physically. Kurt heard the boys snickering, mocking him, and he felt the presence of them getting closer, and he was terrified. All he saw was the alleyway ,and the men flipping him over to tear off his clothes to violate him. "P-please," he sobbed, "leave my clothes on! Don't touch me!" _

_But it seemed that was all it took for the four rough sets of hands to begin hungrily going at the articles covering his body, and as much as he attempted to struggle, to fight back or run, he was soon stripped down to his boxers, laying face-first in the snow, his cheeks and forehead scraping against the ice, sobbing, shaking, from the cold, and from everything else. _

_He knew what was coming. They were going to hurt him, hurt him in a way that he'd experienced before, and that would be it. _

_"Yeah, fag! You like this? You like us doing this to you?" And before he could scream out in protest, he felt one of the blunt objects brought down to his back, and then again, and more beating. _

_Just…more beating. _

_And then, along with that, there were vicious slaps brought onto his skin, surely leaving harsh, red marks that would later bruise as well. _

_"Fuckin' little homo, I bet you're enjoying this, huh? How much do you like this? I bet you love four guys touching you when you're naked!" And then more hits, more bangs and beatings and bruise-causing blows. And Kurt screamed._

_But he couldn't help the part of him that was crying – not from the pain, or humiliation or trauma – but from relief, and maybe happiness. Because they weren't going to do anything else to him. _

_They weren't going to rape him._

_"I'm done," The pale boy heard Renny sigh after what felt like forever, and then the objects coming in contact with his skin ceased. He heard a few exchanged words and laughing, and then the sound of retreated footsteps, crunching in the snow. Despite his constant, obvious pain, Kurt trembled to his feet, the adrenaline in his body suddenly enough to get him back where he was safe. _

_The pale boy struggled to clothe himself hastily, but as he was pulling on his jacket, he saw, in the distance, the boys returning. _

_"No fucking way in hell you're gonna go back now," one of them scoffed._

_"I didn't think he'd be able to walk," another one mused quietly to Renny, who easily ignored the words._

_"Tie him up. To the doors, or something…" And once again, many sets of hands were on him, and he felt pain in his shoulders and wrists as his arms were twisted behind him and something cold and sharp tugged at his wrists, holding them there. He was hardly able to see through the progressing weather, and his eyes felt like they would forever be bloodshot and filled with burning tears. "After all, it's supposed to blizzard today," the redhead smirked, and came up to him and patted him on the cheek, where cuts were present from the ice on his face. The redhead's face then turned cold, colder than it had been already, and he punched the pale boy hard in the face, "Have a good day, faggot."_

_And darkness took him._

* * *

><p>"I mean… So… Yeah. Then I saw Trent walking around after I woke back up and I yelled at him until he heard me…" Kurt shifted a little bit where he sat beside Blaine, who was staring blankly at the wall in front of him.<p>

"I feel like an idiot for holding you back now, B. That little fuck deserves getting the fucking shit kicked out of him," Trent practically growled, his eyes narrowed in anger.

"N-no, it was – it was good that you didn't hurt him too much…" Kurt said, directing the statement to his boyfriend, who was still not responding or making eye-contact. "I mean, I'm not usually one for _violence_, but…maybe this'll make him understand that it's not okay to just…_hurt_ people when you feel like it. Unprovoked, I mean…"

Everyone sort of nodded slowly, still mostly in shock, both from the description Kurt gave of his attack, and from Blaine's earlier story as well. A few of the boys noticed the curly-haired boy still had not responded in any sort, but continued his dazed glare into nothingness.

"You okay, B?" Jeff asked meekly, attempting eye-contact with Nick when the addressed boy said nothing in response.

"…Blaine?" Kurt tried, and placed a gentle hand on his boyfriend's arm, searching his face, then sighed. "Baby, I know you're upset about this, but you already _fought_ him, so—"

"I should have _killed_ him," the curly-haired boy spoke, his voice quiet, his eyes suddenly downcast. He shook his head slightly, coming back from his thoughts. "I shouldn't have let that happen to you… Any of this crap. I shouldn't have let this thing Renny has going for you last this long."

"Oh, babe," Kurt whispered quietly, shifting to sit on his knees in front of his boyfriend, running a hand over his scruffy cheek. "_I_ was the one who was stupid. And went running at six in the morning by _myself_…"

But Blaine just shook his head slowly, finally bringing his gaze up to meet Kurt's, his warm hazel eyes shiny, his eyelashes fluttering rapidly as he continued to blink quickly, attempting to avoid tears. "But _I_ knew what Renny was really like, and the shit he can do, and _has_ done… I should have told you… You didn't know—"

"Do _not_ blame yourself for this." Kurt's eyes were caring, but serious. His voice suggested that there was no room for arguing and had a strong tone of finality. Blaine nodded, but weakly, and Kurt made to say something else, but remembered the other occupants of the room and turned to them. "Can I speak with him alone?"

They all silently stood and left Blaine's room, Jeff closing the door as the last one out.

Without any warning, Kurt leaned forward, capturing Blaine's lips in his own, his arms wrapping around the boy's neck, both sets of eyes fluttering closed.

But the curly-haired boy pulled away after only a short moment, his voice sounding slightly breathless. "What are you doing?"

Kurt searched his boyfriend's face briefly, then let a subtle smile fall onto his lips. "Thank you," he whispered, leaning forward to peck the boy's lips again. "I just wanted to say that. Even though it was violent, and stupid, and a total…testosterone-raging-teenage-boy thing to do," he smiled, but then his face dropped to a more serious look, "It means so much that you were there to do that for me…"

Blaine wanted to protest, to say that he shouldn't have had to _retaliate_, but should have prevented it in the first place, but he knew deep down that there really wasn't any way he could have…

Besides… Then Kurt leaned forward again… And the arms around his neck tightened and their lips met. And Blaine realized he would _always_ be there for Kurt in any way he could…

They lied down on the bed, their lips not breaking contact, and the kissing got heavier, and after a few minutes, they pulled away for air, their lips still touching as they panted out breaths across each other's skin.

"Jeez," Blaine breathed, his mouth curling up in a smirk against Kurt's mouth. "Twice in one day, Kurt? If you insist," and he moved to begin working on the pale, pale area of his boyfriend's neck, grinning as goosebumps flooded the expanse of skin there.

Kurt giggled breathily, causing vibrations to travel down through his body. "Oh, shush, you… You love me, remember?"

At that, Blaine laughed as well, sitting to straddle the other boy's thighs, gripping his hips with his hands. "That I do."

* * *

><p>"M—"<p>

"I just – I still can't believe you let this happen. I mean, your brother, I can see, but _you_—"

"Mother, _please_. We'll get a new car, it won't matter. I talked to you yesterday—"

"Do you not under_stand_ this, Jonathan? You were _seen_ leaving _with_ your brother – who was not supposed to be seen by the public eye until _tomorrow_, might I add – and taking a _cab_ back in the direction of Dalton after the BMW broke down…"

"…We were just planning on calling in for a car to get us… Besides, we could have been going somewhere else—"

"Not to mention it was _your_ car disconnecting from the tow truck that caused the accident. It's just all too much! The media's already having a field day with everything that's going on. With your brother's constant absence, and the fact that you were both associated with that deranged boy a few years back, and now all this? Your father can practically guarantee a loss due to you boys' behavior."

"How does our car breaking down and having to take a cab have any influence on the election? It wasn't in our control that the tow truck—"

"You need to both get home as soon as possible, and we'll try to find a way to fix this."

The line went dead.

Jonathan flung the phone into the wall in front of him, his breathing falling heavily from his nose. This day was awful.

No, this whole trip to _Dalton_ had been awful.

First Blaine's precious BMW broke down and they had to take a cab back to the school to sort it all out, only to find that the tow truck's supposedly secure system had malfunctioned and sent the car into oncoming traffic, totaling the vehicle, which just complicated things…

Mother was mad… He knew _why_ she was mad, just because the more publicity on negative, upsetting things, regardless of whether or not they're the fault of the boys or not, didn't do well for the polls.

"We know what you did, you sick _fuck_," Jonathan snapped his head around, seeing one of his brother's friends – the Asian one, Wes – staring him down with fire in his eyes, most likely the one who had spoken, surrounded by the rest of the group that seemed to be together at all times.

"What—?"

"You deserve to be here just as much as Renny does… _You_ should be locked up in this hell hole, too…" Nick shook his head in disappointment, looking at the older man, judgment prevalent in his features.

Jonathan scoffed. So that's what they were talking about… "Blaine tell you he was there, as well?"

"Yeah, he told us you forced him to go… And that you wouldn't leave the guy alone like he was trying to get you to," Wes countered, sneering.

"He just…" Jonathan took a breath, attempting to force his polite-self back into the front of his appearance. "He was in need of some _help_ from me… He needed to step up his game."

"Some _help_—?" David scoffed

"My little brother either needed to get in with the right crowd I was in, or step up to impress my parents… And I knew that Blaine would _never_ be what our family wants him to be, never as dignified or put-together, so I tried to help him out. He was _floundering_. He had no idea where, or _who,_ he was supposed to be… Instead? He sidesteps my attempt and gets into hard drugs and disgraces our family. At least when I was…out doing things my parents didn't approve of, I _hid_ it. Well enough, anyway," he rolled his eyes.

"…You're saying _he _was the one who fucked up? Because he got _caught_?" Jeff hissed, surprising everyone with his outburst. "You think getting into drugs is worse than almost _killing_ people?"

Jonathan seemed to be actually considering this question, then sighed. "To my family? It isn't about what you actually _do_, it's about how well you can keep up appearances… And let me tell you, Blaine…was simply _terrible_ at that," he shook his head, almost as though it were an amusing memory.

"…Dude, you're not gonna be able to get away with this shit much longer. You're _gonna_ get caught—"

"I've _completely_ straightened out for my parents. Since Blaine was sent here, I was the only son left… I went from _Jonny_ to _Jonathan_, and wear these sorts of clothes," he gestured down to his suit from the day before, minus the outer-jacket. "I got accepted into the Political Science program at Berkley, and am at the head of my sophomore class there…" He paused then, his features dropping to a darker look. "Besides, Blaine's the official mess-up in the family. They never look at him the same way. No matter _what_ he does, he's seen as the one who ruined things for the rest of us… _I_, on the other hand, am the one who _saved_ things for my family."

Everyone stood, speechless, letting the new information of their dear friend's family sink in.

Finn stood in the entrance leading from the main office, just watching the older man with confusion and anger, having overheard the last few sentences. He looked as though he was about to say something, but Jonathan cut him off, huffing and straightening the collar of his white shirt and tie. "Excuse me, but I need to find Blaine and we should really be heading home, granted that the roads are safe enough, of course." He stood, his eyes searching the different exits of the room, lingering on the one leading to the dorms. "Now where has my brother gone wandering off to?"

* * *

><p>Jonathan headed up the stairs, pretty sure he remembered the room his brother lived in, and threw the door open, only to stop dead in his tracks.<p>

"_Holy fuck_!" Blaine screeched, yanking the blanket up to cover himself and Kurt, frantically, attempting at the same time to scurry away from his position.

The pale boy was currently beneath the curly-haired one, both of them clad in only boxers, shining with a thin layer of sweat from exertion, fresh red marks of playful bites and kisses scattering the skin along each of their bodies.

Jonathan snapped out of his daze, and the six other boys, as well as Finn, appeared in the doorway behind him, their eyes going wide at the side, knowing all the consequences that would result from this discovery…

"You little _fag_!" Before a second even passed, Jonathan was on Blaine, his throat between his pulsing, red hands, violently throttling him against the mattress, Kurt screaming and attempting to yank the hands away, but to no avail. Everyone else stood in shock for a brief moment at the sight, horror on their faces before running to him to attempt to pull him off. "You always like this, Blaine?" Jonathan panted, pulling a hand away from his neck only to bring it down to collide with the boy's cheek. "You always a fucking _queer_?" He began bringing punches down onto different parts of his brother's face and body, seemingly just trying to hurt him any way he could…

Kurt's eyes blurred with tears, and he tried to block another blow that the older man brought down, but was struck in the hand instead. "_Get off of him_!"

"You fucking stay _out_ of this, princess!" He shoved the pale boy hard in the chest, causing him to fall off the bed backwards, letting out a grunt of surprise and pain. Jeff circled around the bed to attend to him.

The rest of the boys were finally able to yank Jonathan away from Blaine, who was now nursing multiple red, swollen places on his face. The older brother stumbled away from their grip and searched the area quickly, finding a lamp on Justin's desk, the tall kind that had a thick, metal neck leading to the head. Jonathan grabbed it and held it as a weapon against the other boys.

"You fuckers stay where you are—"

"Dude, just—" Finn tried, but the older man swung the object at him, the flexible neck causing the head of the lamp to whip into his chest, the sound of the light bulb breaking inside audible. "Shit!"

Jonathan threw the object one more time in the direction of the others, causing them to scatter to avoid getting hit, and he approached his brother again, who was still lying on his bed, holding his face tenderly. He threw a fist at the boy, knocking him back into reality, letting out a moan of pain.

"This start when you were back home, _little brother_?" His tone was malicious, and frantic, getting out of control, almost hysterical.

"_Please_!" Blaine sobbed, swatting pathetically at the punches coming at him. "Please, Jonny! Stop! Please stop!"

"Stop? _Stop being a fag_!" He brought down a particularly hard punch, landing on Blaine's eye, initiating a whimper from the boy. "_Oh_," Jonathan scoffed, laughing humorlessly, "what will Mother and Father think? _They won't be pleased_, little brother!" The older man smacked him hard, with his hand where his class ring was present, causing a deep gash to be cut into Blaine's forehead, and roll off the bed from the impact.

With the change in position, Finn jumped at the older brother, twisting his arms behind his back with all the force he hand, effectively pinning him down to the ground, in the same fashion as a cop would to a criminal. Blaine crawled over to where his boyfriend was huddled against the corner with Jeff, watching the scene unfold. "A-are you okay, b-baby?" Kurt practically choked out, pulling the boy into his arms, not receiving any kind of answer other than a returned, shaky embrace.

"I should have known," Jonathan spat from his position being held down onto his stomach, doing his best to face his brother with hate in his eyes. "You were being a fucking _slut_ for drugs back home!"

Blaine tensed and inhaled a sharp, trembling breath and pulled away from his boyfriend, to stare at his brother in utter shock, then narrowed his eyes, slightly suspicious.

Jon scoffed, shaking his head to the extent that he could. "Yeah, _oh yeah_, I knew. _Everyone_ fucking knew! We all heard how you'd whore yourself out at parties because you were a dirty slut! I thought that you were a desperate little fuck-up, but I guess you just got used to the cock, huh?"

No one said anything, the only sounds in the room being heavy breathing from a few occupants.

Jonathan let out a frustrated sigh. "Listen. I came to find you so I could take you home with me… Not a _damn_ chance that's happening now… Mother and Father will _never_ speak to you again once they hear…"

"They don't talk to me anyway," Blaine tried, his voice trembling, realizing he tasted blood in his mouth.

Jonathan stared at him, really just _stared_ at him, not with anger, or disgust or pity. Just like he was truly trying to take in everything he was seeing before him. "Consider yourself completely disowned… I hope you enjoy not having a family."

* * *

><p>"And… I think, well I'm pretty much <em>sure<em> they're boyfriends," Finn spoke quietly into his phone, chancing a glance to the other end of the lounge where Blaine was sitting between Kurt's legs in one of the oversized leather chairs, the pale boy kneading the muscles carefully on the other's back. "Or something like that."

"…Well is he alright? Both of them?" His mother's voice was drenched in concern, he could practically see the worry-lines around her eyes as she spoke.

"I-I think so… I mean, Blaine's brother left a little bit ago after all that shit – _stuff_, sorry – happened… So I think it's better now that he's not here…"

There were a few moments of silence on the other side of the line before Finn heard his mother let out a sigh.

"Well, sweetheart, I really think you boys need to come home. I'm so scared having you both out there at that place."

"…Mom… Kurt _lives_ here. He's always here…"

"Well, it's Christmas time. And the roads should be perfectly okay now, so I want you to head back as soon as possible, okay?"

Finn nodded, even though she couldn't see him, and glanced over to where a few of the other boys joined Kurt and Blaine, giving them both sympathetic looks. "Okay… Bye, mom. Love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

"Dude—"

"Don't call me that, Finn," Kurt replied, sounding exhausted and bored before he even looked up. At the silence, the pale boy glanced up to his brother, a curious eyebrow raised, his hands wrapping around Blaine's chest in front of him.

"We – uh," Finn got distracted for a moment, seeing Kurt's action of affection, but shook his head, "We need to go, bro. Mom was freaking out after I told her what went down, and they both want us back, like, now."

Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but hesitated as he felt Blaine's body sag at Finn's words, and made a decision. "You can go. I'm staying here."

"What? But—"

"No, Finn. Seriously. I want to be with Blaine for Christmas," Kurt spoke the last part a little more quietly, clasping his hands together where they were around Blaine's chest. The curly-haired boy turned slightly in his arms to give his boyfriend a tender look, as though he was about to protest, but Kurt cut him off. "You can come back and get me the day after, if our parents want to see me for break, or whatever, but I need to stay here."

There was such finality in his voice that Finn didn't even try to argue.

He knew Kurt. He knew that this was the end of it. The look in his brother's eyes told him two things.

That this wasn't up for discussion, and that he was desperately in love with this Blaine guy.

"Okay," he breathed, instead of trying to force the boy to come with him, accepting the information as easily as he could. "Okay, bro, I'll see you on the day after Christmas, then." He reached down to hug Kurt the best he could with Blaine where he was, and Kurt wrapped his arms around him in return, and Finn smiled, nodded, then turned to leave.

He knew he would get in trouble for not forcing Kurt to go with him, and that his parents would be furious that the family wasn't all together for the holiday, but he knew in his heart that this was best.

Finn turned around one final time, noticing absolutely the most content smile he'd ever seen Kurt wear, and Blaine with one to match.

Yeah, this was best.


	12. Tightrope

**A/N I'm so sorry. It's been over a month. I'm just so sorry.  
><strong>**This chapter is different, sort of heavy. I love you all and cherish every review/read/alert/everything.  
><strong>**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

* * *

><p>"Thad," Kurt huffed, not opening his eyes, rolling over onto his side to get away from the person attempting to wake him up. "<em>Thad<em>… Thad, quit it, that tickles. Thad… _Thaaaad_!"

"Should I be concerned that you immediately assume your _roommate_ is the one touching your thighs in the morning?"

The pale boy's eyes shot open at the voice. "Blaine?" Said boy was sitting on the edge of his bed, a teasing eyebrow raised. "Hi, babe… Merry Christmas," Kurt sleepily tugged his lips up into a smile, his eyes still partially closed, making his boyfriend grin fondly.

"Merry Christmas, baby," the curly-haired boy replied quietly, bending down to kiss Kurt's lips softly, and sighing as he did so. After pulling apart, Kurt scanned his boyfriend's face, smiling at the sight before inhaling a sharp breath and letting his mouth fall open, though an amused expression was present as he sat up.

"A-are – are those _glasses_?"

Blaine's hand flew up to tear the things from his face, tossing them to the floor and feigning confusion. "…What?" Kurt narrowed his eyes playfully at the deep blush covering the curly-haired boy's cheeks as he blinked rapidly.

"Would it ruin the mood if I just…_violently_ _vomited_ all over the both of you…?" Thad's voice interrupted their eye contact, both of them moving to face the dark-haired boy on the other side of the room, his head barely poking out of the covers. "Because, really. _Seriously_. This is way too much…" He gestured wildly around him, in the vague direction of the two boys, "_cute_ for this fucking early in the morning…"

The two other boys sat in silence for a moment before Kurt forced a pleasant, fake smile on his face. "Merry Christmas to you too, Thad!"

"Yeah, yeah… Baby Jesus and all that shit…" Thad lazily rose from the bed, taking his comforter with him, and dragged himself out of the door, shutting it behind himself. The sound of another door closing a couple seconds later suggested he had entered Nick and Jeff's room.

"_Someone_'s bitter," Blaine chuckled, following where Thad had left with his eyes. Kurt nodded, smiling, but was instead staring at his boyfriend's face intently.

"So, Blaine…"

"Mmmm?"

Kurt reached down to the ground to retrieve the glasses earlier discarded, and held them up, as though he had just found outstanding evidence.

Blaine laughed outright, and then rolled his eyes, nodding, and grabbed the frames from his boyfriend's hands. "Yeah, laugh it up… I usually don't wear them… Obviously."

Kurt quirked an eyebrow, his lips pursing slightly. "So… You wear _contacts_ all the time?"

Again, the curly-haired boy laughed. "No. I mean – yeah, I sometimes wear contacts, but I don't have that many, so not all the time. Probably, like…half of the time. And I pretty much never wear these," he held up the glasses in reference before sliding them back onto his face, then motioned towards himself. "As I'm sure you can…understand."

The pale boy raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Um, you look fine, babe," he drew a hand from the other boy's cheek to brush over the frames lightly. "…You actually look pretty _sexy _in glasses…" He murmured and trailed off, his head tilting to the side as his mind wandered to a different place, an eyebrow cocking in sudden interest.

Blaine blinked for a second before he chuckled lowly, causing the hairs on the back of Kurt's neck to rise. "Well, _thank you_, but I was more thinking about the fact that they'd get smashed into my face in a matter of minutes if I wore them around this place…"

"Really."

"Yeah. Just ask your roommate." Blaine raised his eyebrows, his expression turning slightly more serious. At Kurt's look of questioning, he elaborated. "Ever noticed that little scar by the inside of one of his eyes?" The pale boy blinked in surprise, his gaze shifting to the empty bed absently.

"Oh," he breathed, frowning, thinking about all the time Thad spent reading in his free time, wondering if it was problematic for him if he was farsighted. "Being blind half of the time is better?" Kurt questioned a little more lightly, turning back to face the curly-haired boy.

"Mmmm," Blaine hummed, a smile tugging at his lips as he shifted on the bed to lean into the other boy, kissing him softly on the mouth, then pulled back slowly, his eyes opening to meet a pair of clear glasz ones. "I am _perfectly_ capable of functioning without these things…"

Kurt's nose scrunched up slightly as he smiled, pulling the frames from his boyfriend's face, and tossing them in the direction of his bedside table. "Hmm, if you say so," and he kissed him again, this time not as lightly, and not as short-lived.

They fell down onto the pillows, Kurt beneath Blaine, both pretending to ignore the dull aches they still felt from their respective recent injuries, and began kissing fervently, arms tightly woven around each other. This continued for a brief amount of time, until Blaine came up to rest on his knees, a smile plastered on his face as he panted lightly.

"_Mmmm_," Kurt whined, reaching forward to grip his boyfriend's hips, pulling him back on top of him, eyes fluttering closed as he begin sucking on the boy's neck, all through Blaine's chuckled attempts of '_Kurt_' as he pushed from his needy boyfriend again.

"Just hold on a second, okay?" the curly-haired boy said, searching the face in front of him for a reaction, getting only Kurt's bitch glare, slightly flushed from exertion, at which he laughed at. "I'm just – I, um…"

Blaine opened his mouth to continue, but decided against it, and began unzipping the hooded sweatshirt he was wearing.

Kurt breathed in sharply, a smile on his lips, watching the sight before him. "Yes. Okay, I'm okay with this," he made to push the hoodie from his boyfriend's shoulders, but was stopped by Blaine's hand on his.

"Jesus, Kurt," the boy laughed, but his face shifted to a more intrigued, hungry look, "I'm…liking how fucking _eager_ you are today," he took a moment to run his fingers smoothly over the pale ones still on his shoulder.

At this, Kurt flushed a deep red, removing his hand slowly from beneath his boyfriend's. "I liked the glasses," he said very quietly, almost shyly.

Blaine simply grinned at this, but his expression turned slightly more determined as he continued what he was doing before. He dipped his hand under the flap of his open sweatshirt to his undershirt, which was a pajama shirt, but with a breast pocket, and reached inside. "I – um…" He blinked a few times, then looked up to his boyfriend, hesitating as he held out the small, unwrapped box. "I _have_ something for you. It's not – you know," _very nice, at all_, "or…whatever, but… Here…"

Kurt blinked a few times, his mouth falling open at the sight, his eyes fixed on the small item. He quickly shifted his attention to the curly-haired boy. "B-Blaine… I didn't… I mean, I never got you anything—"

"No, I know, it's okay. I just… Just open it."

Kurt breathed out, gazing at the pure, hazel eyes and lifted the lid from the box.

Inside, there was a thin, woven bracelet. And on the small rope, a tiny metal charm, engraved in careful, even letters.

_courage_

Kurt said nothing, and did nothing, but stared intently at the gift, long after comprehending it and understanding it, but was stunned too far into silence to react. His eyebrows knotted tightly together.

The entire time, Blaine watched the face of his boyfriend, looking for a reaction, his own expression nervous and timid. Finally, when the pale boy had said nothing, he jumped in.

"I just – I knew how to – to _weave_ hemp and I thought… And then, well, Jeff and Nick have this – these tools for hand engraving that they used to fuck people's keys up with and—"

"Courage?" Kurt finally broke from his trance, having a difficult time keeping his eyes from blinking feverishly, only the slightest tears present there. Blaine nodded slowly, his face unsure. The pale boy lifted a shaky hand to press onto the spot his boyfriend's tattoo was present. "Like…? Like the tattoo?"

The curly-haired boy only nodded again, then placed his own hand over the fair-skinned one on his chest. "Y-yeah… Because…you know… You said I'm your courage… But, you're _mine_ too."

* * *

><p>"Oh. My fucking. <em>God<em>!" Thad started laughing hysterically, and coughed through it, the small puffs of smoke from his cigarette coming out of his mouth with each frantic breath. "I can't even—"

"Right? Like, holy fuck! Look at that, bro!" Trent gestured to the phone in his hands, shaking his head and beginning to laugh as well, already having done so when he first discovered the video, but unable to control himself.

Wes glanced over from where he was sitting on a large leather chair with a look of curiosity-mixed-with-annoyance. "What are you guys watching?"

Just as the Asian boy was speaking, his roommate and Nick walked into the common room, exchanging amused glances at the two hysterical boys and also becoming curious.

Finally calming down his breathing, Thad began motioning them over. "You guys – you have to see this!"

The three boys crowded around the phone in Trent's hands, watching the screen that seemed to have a paused video on it, the image currently in-motion, rather blurry.

"Wait – whose phone is that?" David asked skeptically, pretty sure he already knew.

"Kurt's. Now seriously, you're gonna die," Trent replied, already beginning to chuckle in anticipation of what the video would bring.

He set it to the beginning of the video and tapped play.

_"—are you doing?"_

_"It's so I can remember who I made out with." _

_A blonde, thin girl was fumbling with the camera, or phone, or whatever device the video was recorded on, and then it seemed to be settled down on a solid surface as the image stabilized. Once she moved away, a young Kurt was seen laying down on a couch, looking confused, directly at the camera, but then the blonde flopped on top of him, and he placed a tight smile in place and nodded, glancing uncertainly at her._

_"O-okay, Britt… But…no one else but you will see this, right?"_

_"See what?"_

_"The video…"_

_She made a look of understanding. "Oh, right. No, I just don't always remember who I make out with, so I have to keep track…" With that, she trailed off and moved down to kiss him, and the younger – and very oddly-dressed, for that matter – Kurt looked around for a second, sort of panicky, before closing his eyes and attempting to go with the situation._

Everyone in the common room who was seeing the video for the first time let their mouths fall open at the sight, Thad and Trent already cracking up, tears beginning to form.

"What the fuck?" Nick stammered through a laugh, his eyes not leaving the small screen, and he leaned in closer.

_Kurt squirmed awkwardly beneath the girl, pulling away slightly, then whispered something that wasn't audible on the camera, until the blonde shifted somewhat, adjusting their positions. For a few seconds or so, the two teens continued their kissing, until the blonde girl pulled back._

_"That was awesome," she smiled, and reached down towards the camera, her hand blurring in front of the screen for a few moments before shutting it off._

By this point, all five of the Warblers in the common room were in stitches, gasping for breaths through their laughter. Wes made an odd, sort of fumbling gesture with his hands towards the phone, still giggling. "R-replay. Play it again—"

"What are you doing?"

Everyone whipped their heads in the direction of the entryway towards the sound of the higher-pitched voice, only to see both Kurt and Blaine giving them looks of suspicious and curiosity. At this, the five boys began laughing even more uncontrollably.

The curly-haired boy shifted his eyes to his boyfriend at this, and raised his pierced eyebrow, then dropped the pale boy's hand that he had been holding, moving to walk towards them all. "Seriously, what are—?"

"No, no, no! Kurt—! A-and the couch—!" Nick attempted through laughter, tugging the phone away from Trent and rolling over top of it onto his stomach. After this, a good 30 seconds passed as the boys all began to calm down from their hysterics, and Kurt carefully stepped over to approach the group, plopping his two bags down onto the ground near the entryway from the dorm rooms.

"Have you guys been drinking…?"

A few remaining giggles escaped from a few boys' mouths, and Thad cleared his throat, attempting a countering look. "Have you guys been screwing?"

Kurt burned a deep scarlet color and Blaine simply let a smile between goofy and suggestive fall onto his lips, leaning forward slightly, cocking an eyebrow. "Define _screwing_—"

"No, we have not been _screwing… _Blaine," Kurt rolled his eyes at his boyfriend, and pulled a hand through his hair, trying to rid his face of the blush.

Over break, or since they had _progressed_ in their _physical relationship_, the two boys had spent some time experimenting with touch. They had unofficially designated a slot of time each morning for this kind of…_experimentation_ and that current day was the day after Christmas, the last day they would spend together for a while, so it was absolutely no exception.

"B-but, um," Kurt continued, trying to change the subject, "what were you guys looking at before…?" He trailed off, thinking back to when him and Blaine first walked in, then narrowed his eyes at the boys. "Wait – that was _my _phone, wasn't it? None of you guys have iPhones! I was looking for that!"

All he got in response was scattered snickers, and Blaine raising his eyebrow in both curiosity and suspicion.

"You guys, seriously. Give it. Who has it? Trent? _Trent_," Kurt narrowed his eyes at the bigger teen, attempting his best bitch glare that Trent only sputtered a laugh at.

"Bro, I don't have it!"

"Trent."

"_Nick_ has it!"

Kurt shifted his gaze to the dark-haired boy, who was lying awkwardly on his stomach, giving Kurt a slightly nervous look. "I-I don't… Oh, whatever," he rolled off the device and tossed it up to Kurt, who caught it easily.

The fair-skinned boy raised an eyebrow and gave the group of boys one last threatening look before unlocking the phone, and when he saw the contents open on the screen, he blanched. "Oh… Oh _god_," he sighed, defeated, dropping his face into his free hand.

"What?" Blaine questioned, coming to stand behind Kurt to look at the phone. When unable to see it properly, he went to grab it from the taller boy, but Kurt sharply took in a breath and twisted away from his boyfriend.

"No, no, no. You—! You are _not_ seeing this video, Mr. Anderson." The curly-haired boy looked like a kicked puppy.

"_What_! Video? But, babe—!"

"How did you guys even get this?" Kurt cut him off, directing the question mostly towards Nick, who looked horrified.

Thad rolled his eyes. "You left it just _sitting_ in your room while you were fucking B—"

"_Not_ fucking—"

"Yeah, yeah. Jerking, sucking…_fucking_, whatever you guys get up to all the time… And so I just grabbed it…"

Kurt blinked a few times, firstly because he was trying to get the word _sucking_ out of his mind when it included Blaine, and also because he was trying to understand what he was being told. "Okay, first. Wow. On the whole respecting of privacy? Yeah, not okay. Also, the _phone_ I sort of figured… I was more wondering about the _video_… Because I _know_ I deleted that a while ago when I first got it sent to me…"

Thad raised an eyebrow and lit up another cigarette, taking a few puffs before answering. "Well, I was just wanted something to fuck around with because iPhones are supposed to be the shit and everything… But then Trent said something about how you have all these pictures of hot chicks everywhere, so he took it," Thad waved a lazy hand in the direction of the other teen, "and then, I don't know? You found it on there, or something?"

"No, some girl started texting you, and then she sent the video."

At this, Kurt looked slightly alarmed, but also confused. "I – Britt? Brittany texted me?" He immediately ran through his recent messages, and, sure enough, there were two texts from the ditzy blonde.

_kurttt :] sum1 askd who was the best kisser i told them u rember wen we made out? – B _

_kuuuurrrrtt dont u? here look! [__vid0003443 – download attachment]__ – B _

Kurt groaned, his eyes falling shut. "Brittany…"

Blaine approached his boyfriend again, placing a hand on the pale boy's shoulder. "Babe, you're kinda freaking me out. What's the video of?"

He let out a sigh as the others in the room chuckled, and dejectedly handed the device to his boyfriend. "Laugh away. They'd tell you anyway…"

Blaine's facial expression shifted multiple times as he watched the short clip, ranging from shocked to almost-amused to confused to…horrified? "Wow. Fuck, Kurt," the restrained laughter was evident in his voice. "You… Okay – and _what_ were you wearing?"

Kurt blinked and furrowed his eyebrows together. "Those were my straight clothes. It was a weird time… I was trying to be…straight for my dad…"

There was a moment of somewhat awkward, maybe-pitiful silence until Wes snorted, shaking his head. "I think you were doing it wrong. You still looked really…_gay_."

Maybe it could have been taken offensively, but it wasn't. And everyone started laughing, even Kurt and Blaine.

* * *

><p>After a few minutes of follow-up conversation and Kurt doing his best to attempt to explain the situation, he announced that he probably needed to call Finn to remind him where the exit was to get to Dalton, because the boy always seemed to forget.<p>

"I'm gonna miss you," Blaine breathed into Kurt's ear as he embraced the other tightly, his arms heavy around the pale boy's neck.

"Oh, you'll be fine without me," Kurt teased, pressing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's neck, relishing in the way it made him tense up slightly, as though it tickled. Blaine leaned in closer, so his mouth was only centimeters away from Kurt's ear.

"I'm gonna miss our _mornings_, though…" And he very gently nibbled against the pale boy's earlobe, making him giggle.

"Well!" Kurt pulled away, partly to tease, but also because he would get turned on way too fast if this continued. "Good thing you're well-acquainted with your right hand!" Kurt reached down to grab said hand and pressed it into his boyfriend's chest, earning a chuckle from him as well as the boys near that overheard. Kurt smiled. "I'm gonna go call Finn…" He tilted his head to the side, studying the curly-haired boy's gentle face. "I wish you didn't have to stay here for break, Blaine…"

He suddenly realized the implications of what he had just said, but too late. That the statement suggested Blaine going back to his family, which was obviously still a sore spot from the recent week. Instead of trying to apologize or say anything at all, Kurt leaned forward to capture his lips in a brief, sweet kiss and gave a small, unsure smile, turning to walk towards the other side of the room with his phone in hand.

The silence that followed implied the other Warblers near them had overheard, and understood the statement in the same fashion.

"B…" Wes began carefully, almost expecting the curly-haired boy to cut him off, telling him to 'drop it' or 'stop'. Instead, Blaine said nothing, taking a seat on the carpet beside David and Wes, though not making eye contact. So the Asian boy continued. "Why…didn't you ever tell us about your brother?"

The curly-haired boy furrowed his eyebrows together, letting his eyes narrow in thought for a moment. "I'm assuming you think the fact that he's a raging homophobe isn't enough reason?" It wasn't said with attitude, more a mix of curiosity and seriousness.

At this, a few of the others made eye contact and Trent shrugged, blinking a few times. "My _sister's_ a total bitch. I mean, my whole family pretty much hasn't talked to me since I was sent here, but I never said that any of them didn't exist."

Blaine nodded, absently pulling a cigarette from where he had his pack tucked in his jacket's inner-pocket, putting it in his mouth but not moving to light it. "He just – We never, _never_ had any kind of…decent relationship. Ever," he mumbled around the stick in his mouth, rolling his eyes as he went to light it, taking a long drag. "And one time, one of you guys – I don't remember who – said something like 'you're an only child, right?'" He shrugged, his eyes darting between those around him. "And I was just like… 'Yep.' I just didn't see him as anything important to acknowledge... And with Renny, it just made everything worse, and more complicated. I didn't want to be associated with either of them."

After a few moments of silence, David tilted his head slightly, trying to see more of his curly-haired friend's face. "Um… I get that, and everything. But…you know you don't have to do that, right? We know _now_, and we don't think any different of you."

Hearing the end of this, Kurt wandered back to the occupied area of the room and without saying anything, sat behind his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around Blaine's chest, resting his chin on the boy's shoulder as he attempted to pick up on the conversation.

"And also, even if we did know before, we would have been able to see that you're not like Renny, or whatever... We've all been around shitty people in our lives," Nick reasoned, pausing briefly before he let out a short laugh. "I mean, obviously. Or else none of us would be here at all..."

Blaine and a few others let out soft chuckles, Kurt simply grinning into his boyfriend's shoulder from behind, tightening his hold on the boy, "You act like we're not all bad influences on each other," the pale boy countered with a smirk. "I'm pretty sure I've done worse things since I've been here than I ever did before…"

There was a short moment of light laughter, but then Blaine twisted around in Kurt's arms, facing him with a raised eyebrow as Blaine dropped his mostly-unused cigarette into the cup beside Thad. "Really."

"…Really." At his boyfriend's seemingly surprised look, Kurt narrowed his eyes teasingly.

Blaine pulled away entirely, crossing his arms playfully and smiling. "Like what? I mean – yeah, okay, aside from the LSD probably."

Kurt let out a little laugh. "Yeah, the LSD… And I never smoked before I was here… I didn't drink really… Well, I got drunk at school once and threw up on my guidance counselor…" He shrugged when the others chuckled. "But…yeah, I guess I just do more stuff here than back home…" _Like breaking into an abandoned building to get wasted…or moaning like a whore while a curly-haired, tattooed, pierced boy jerks me off in his bed while his roommate's in the shower…_

He smiled with a faint blush as he looked at Blaine and jumped violently when his phone rang.

"H-hello?" Kurt cleared his throat when his voice came out sounding sort of breathy and low.

"Kurt?"

"Yes?"

"Oh, I just – it didn't sound like you, um… I'm near the school… Should I just come to the office place?"

"Mmmm," Kurt eyed his surroundings, seeing his two bags he had repacked. "Just come through there to the common area… You remember where that is, right?"

"Yeah. Okay… Okay, I'll be there soon. Bye."

"Bye…" Kurt ended the call and stared blankly at the screen for a moment before turning to his friends. "He's almost here."

Everyone gave the customary nods and looks of accepting the situation, even if they didn't want to see Kurt go.

Blaine pursed his lips to the side and scooted on his knees to be between Kurt's legs where they were sitting on the floor. He ran his hands up the pale boy's thighs, just looking at his eyes, realizing this would be the first time they'd be apart since they'd become an official couple. "I wish I had nudes of you to jerk off to until you come back," he laughed quietly, actually ducking his head in embarrassment of his blunt confession and Kurt's scandalized look.

"Shush, you. What did you do before we started…?" Kurt trailed off, the unspoken words obvious. He pulled his boyfriend close to him, so they were embracing.

"Well, let's see. I'd masturbate to my imagined version of you naked… And when I didn't do _that_, I had wet dreams about you and would wake up and have to wash my sheets."

"_Blaine_!" Kurt gasped at his boyfriend's lack of attempt to lower his voice, glancing at the others near them to see the boys hiding snickers.

"True story," Trent piped up, and Blaine shrugged, nodding.

"_Blaine_," he laughed, but trailed off to giggles when his boyfriend gave him a sweet smile, staring into his eyes for a few moments. They sat in silence for a few beats and Kurt tilted his head to the side slightly, just gazing at the depth of hazel before him. "Kiss me."

And Blaine did. And he ran a hand up the length of Kurt's side, but when it moved up his neck and further to tangle in the pale boy's chestnut hair—

"Uh, uh, uh—" Kurt removed the hand immediately, pulling away from the lip contact. "I'm trying to look put-together today. I don't want my parents to think I've _completely_ let myself go since I've gotten thrown into this place… I need to at least _pretend to try_ to keep up my image," he huffed, smirking and trailing his fingers along the hand of Blaine's he grabbed.

"Your image…? How will your parents feel when they discover your latest accessory?" Blaine grabbed the back of Kurt's neck and pulled him into another kiss, slipping his tongue into the other's mouth, and running it along until he came across a certain metal bar—

"_Mmmm_," Kurt moaned in both pleasure and annoyed realization, breaking the kiss. "Oh _god_, you're right. My dad would freak. I didn't even think about it…"

Blaine smiled, then shrugged, playing with a button on Kurt's jacket and focusing on it until shifting his eyes up to meet the clear glasz ones in front of him. "I don't think you have anything to worry about… You're not one of those people that clacks it a bunch, and unless you decide to go and make out with your immediate family…" The curly-haired boy trailed off, raising his pierced eyebrow with a grin.

"Oh my god," Kurt groaned with a smile, but pulled his boyfriend down on top of him with a smirk, lying on the carpet. "You're lucky you're hot…" When the curly-haired boy gave a silly, toothy grin and raised an eyebrow, Kurt began lightly tickling his sides with the tips of his fingers, causing Blaine to squirm instantly, choking out laughs. He pinned his boyfriend's pale hands down above his head to cease the action and leaned in for a deep kiss.

"And _you're_ lucky you have a big cock," Blaine countered when he pulled back, earning a chuckle from Kurt.

When the surrounding boys burst out into laughter – not the kind of light giggles they might let out due to merely overhearing Blaine's comment, but full-on hysterics – both Kurt and Blaine turned to look at them, seeing them all faced towards the entryway of the common room.

Kurt shimmied out from beneath his boyfriend and sucked in a sharp breath upon seeing his stepbrother staring wide-eyed at the scene before him. "Hi, Finn," the pale boy breathed lightly, smiling pleasantly, brushing delicately through his hair with his fingers.

The tall teen blinked a few times before slowly approaching the group of boys, five of which were hiding their smirks. "I, uh…" He flashed a brief glance towards Blaine, who was helping Kurt up from the floor, then to his brother, who he narrowed his eyes at questioningly. "Did he just say…?"

"That Kurt is hung like a horse? Apparently. None of us needed to be aware of that fact, either," Wes muttered with a raised eyebrow, not taking his eyes away from the cards he had at some point brought out and was beginning to deal.

Finn blinked at the bluntness and turned to Kurt, then decided against it, now having disturbing mental images of the boy, so he made a strangled, uncomfortable sound and looked to the floor, closing his eyes, feeling awkward. "Oh god, I – okay, uh, let's just – let's go," he mumbled, ignoring the laughter in the room and moving to grab Kurt's duffel, leaving the smaller shoulder bag for him to carry.

Kurt watched this all with a mix of amusement and humiliation.

_Finn wouldn't say anything to Dad, would he…?_

"Okay, hold on a second, Finn." Kurt strode quickly to where his bag was and picked it up, securing the strap over his shoulder, then coming back to face Blaine, his cheeks suddenly heating up, knowing there was an expected goodbye. "I, uh… I'll see you soon, okay?"

The curly-haired boy bit his lip and nodded, reaching out to grasp the other's hand, looking into the eyes he wouldn't see for over a week. "Yeah," he spoke quietly – or more so _breathed_ – but he knew Kurt was able to hear him. "I love you," Blaine said finally, smirking a little, because he knew they were both sort of waiting to say it as a part of their parting.

Kurt flushed just the slightest bit, and smiled. "Love you, too," he all but whispered back, and leaned down slightly to reach the other boy's lips, closing his eyes into a long, languid kiss, sighing when he felt Blaine smile into it.

After breaking apart, Blaine was hardly able to open his eyes before he felt the pale boy's arms tightly around him, and he breathed in deeply. Pulling away, Kurt gave him one last smile, and mouthed 'I'll miss you,' before turning to the others in the room. "I'll see you guys later," he called out lightly, giving a small wave.

At this, Nick jumped up and ran over to Kurt, embracing him with such force that the fair-skinned boy struggled to breath. "Oh, babe! Oh, Kurt! Bye Kurt! I'm gonna miss you!" Nick cried, somewhere between dramatic and sarcastic, then pulled away. He had a fake-pained expression on his face. "I love you!" And then he moved in as though to kiss the pale boy, mocking the scene that had just occurred between the two boyfriends, but Blaine yanked the back of his shirt, throwing him to the ground, earning a laugh from Kurt.

"Screw off, Nick," Blaine laughed, then turned to his boyfriend again, his eyes soft but with a hint of amusement still behind them. "Bye, babe."

"Bye," Kurt said, his tone one of finality, and leaned to peck Blaine on the lips again quickly, smiling, then turned to meet Finn at the entryway, walking away and out of sight from the six delinquents in the room.

* * *

><p>The pale boy sighed, looking down into the foamy contents of his beer, raising an eyebrow in amusement, remembering the last time he had gotten drunk. On Christmas Eve, the boys from Dalton had decided to celebrate. Needless to say, interesting things ensued…<p>

Kurt's phone vibrated in his pocket and he glanced over to the group of teenagers that used to be his whole world, seeing them laughing over something he probably wasn't a part of. He understood that, because Finn was practically forced to stay by his side while their parents were away for New Year's, it made sense to have the party at their house. It was just horribly uncomfortable.

He had literally picked up two beers and placed himself in the corner of the room. The basement that had been modeled more clearly into a rec room during the month he'd been back at Dalton. He hadn't spoken to any of the New Directions the entire night, save for when he asked Finn if he could mix himself a drink from the supplies Puck brought. When the taller teen stared dumbly at the amount of alcohol his stepbrother was consuming, and when those around him looked at the pale boy questioningly, he ended up foregoing the mixed drink and snatching up another beer, which left him where he was currently.

_Iiiiie7777k7899,,.~mk ll; – B _

He raised an eyebrow in question and amusement and let a silent chuckled bubble in his chest, seeing the jumbled text message from his boyfriend. Either Blaine had just butt-texted him, or was completely wasted. Or both.

Though the fact that he had a slide-out keyboard on his phone would make it hard to send such a message on accident. Kurt figured it would be a good idea to text back, to be safe…

_Uhhh…haha? You okay, babe? – K _

"Hey."

Kurt glanced up from the message he was sending, slightly startled by the noise, as he had just looked up to the group not a minute ago to check them. Finn was standing at a slight distance from him, his head tilted down to try to catch Kurt's eye.

"…Hello…Finn," Kurt answered blankly, staring at his stepbrother, looking at him expectantly.

"We, um… We're gonna d-do the – over here, we're gonna, um— So… Um, you—? Do you want to come over here?"

Kurt's eyebrows shot up. Jesus.

Finn was _so_ drunk…

"…You…want me to go over there?" He chanced a quick glance to where the others were laughing and dancing to the music sloppily. "…Are you sure…?" Kurt questioned with a raised eyebrow, to which his stepbrother only nodded and half-smiled.

"Yeah, dude, it'll – it's fine. They were like – like 'why's Kurt over there?' so I came over here to…get you," Finn slurred slightly, gesturing back towards the other teens, and Kurt sighed and stood up, noticing his legs felt a little wobbly from the alcohol.

As soon as the fair-skinned boy took his place standing on the outskirts of the mass of people, he regretted following his stepbrother's suggestion immediately. All eyes – blurry and drunk as they may be – turned towards him, looking somewhere between confused and timid, like they thought he might explode at any moment.

And, considering everything, that wasn't an unrealistic concern.

During the next couple of minutes, most conversation ceased, though the teens tried to pull it off as though nothing had changed, attempting to continue dancing and moving. Quinn made eye contact with Kurt and glanced away immediately, taking a drink from her cup as to occupy herself somehow while the pale boy stepped to the nearby table where the alcohol was.

This was painful.

And Kurt took a shot every time he felt uncomfortable.

"Y-you guys," Kurt finally spoke (maybe slurred), sighing loudly.

Everyone turned to where he was leaning against the makeshift bar, an empty bottle of something in his hand, as he swayed just slightly.

"You guys, we can't pretend w-we were never _friends_, you know?" As the teens sort of stood and stared at him, shocked he had spoken at all, Kurt continued, "I know – I know, that's my fault for trying to…to _cut you guys out_, or…w-whatever… When I yelled at you…at Sectionals. But…we can't pretend it's still _June_ and I haven't been gone for half a year! We… We need to _talk_ about what happened…"

Silence.

Regretting he had said anything, Kurt turned to the alcohol spread out across the table, looking for something to replace the empty bottle in his hands, when a timid voice broke through his drunken haze.

"I was scared," Tina all but whispered, but as the music had been turned off, she was heard. "Of you… _For_ you… It's like you weren't the same person anymore…"

The pale boy stared at her for a moment, trying to clear up his brain from the intoxication. "I'm not…" He spoke softly, moving to sit down on one of the couches present in the room, and everyone followed, taking places around him and on the carpeted floor. "W-well, I _am_, but…a different version of myself…"

His words hung heavy in the air and no one spoke for a solid couple minutes.

"_Clearly_," Santana drawled, smirking, "I mean, between the amount of vodka you've downed tonight and that _hickey_ on your neck, I can hardly recognize you anymore…"

Kurt's mouth fell open slightly at her words and smug look, and he had to restrain himself from letting his hand fly up to the mark on his neck. He mouthed words, but nothing seemed to come out.

"But, in a good way. It's like you're Hummel, but less of a prude…" She turned to Puck, drunken smile all over her face. "Totally knew he'd be gettin' some."

"I was never a prude…!" Kurt mentally rolled his eyes at his own childish, non-convincing response, wondering how the hell Santana still got to him when she said things like that, but liking it, too. It was like their relationship didn't change, even after everything...

A few chuckles erupted throughout the group of kids, and Kurt felt some of the tension melt away, like maybe something was being fixed, instead of ignored. But his cheeks still heated up at the thought of the mark on his neck, and his friends who always thought of him as completely virginal and he wondered what they thought about him getting down with a guy they didn't know.

Damn Blaine and his hickey-giving obsession! This thing had been going strong for nearly a week…

He heard a few more giggles and realized he had absently covered the patch of skin with his hand, his blush deep on his cheeks, but his lips twitched up at the corners despite himself.

"And hey! I wasn't – this isn't a _hickey_! It's – a bruise! I'm not _getting_ anything."

Kurt made good on his promise to talk about what happened. He tried to calmly discuss the overview of the events that took place in the past six months, while…leaving out certain things. He thought of it as catching up with friends that he had moved away from, regardless of the reasons. He could have been talking about new towns and people that he had met in school, even if he was actually discussing holding cell regulations and a court-assigned roommate.

He didn't talk about the rape. He didn't talk about the…killing, because it involved talking about the rape. He couldn't. Not with them. Not yet.

"Basically… All he does is sit around and read Shakespeare…and smoke," Kurt laughed, but cut himself short seeing the slightly confused looks of his friends, who were slowly becoming more sober in the couple or so hours since they'd begun talking.

"_Around_ you? Kurt, y-your voice—"

"—is _fine…_ Rachel, I'm around it so much… I mean, I know it's bad for me, but what am I supposed to do? Not be around my roommate and my friends and my – Blaine?" he finished awkwardly, not exactly knowing how to jump out and say 'Remember that ex-drug-addict guy that I _totally_ said I wasn't dating? Well, now we're boyfriends and we get it on all the time!'

"…Is he _your_ Blaine?" Mercedes smirked, taking a sip of water from a bottle of water, then let her face get more serious as Kurt took his time to respond. They had all seen the way they acted around each other at Sectionals, and Finn might have told them about their interaction, but no one knew how serious it was between them.

Kurt blinked, smiling just faintly and nodding. "…Yes. We're… I mean, we're official, so…"

There was a combination of surprised looks and impressed looks. Before anyone could say anything, he continued.

"I – he's clean. He hasn't touched the stuff since a while before Thanksgiving… And he's really…" He trailed off, blinking a few times thoughtfully. "I really _love_ him…" Kurt all but whispered the last part, averting eye contact with everyone in the room. When silence lingered, he finally looked back up to the others, seeing their faces completely bewildered.

Finally, Rachel broke the silence. "Kurt… Are you sure?" The pale boy sighed and had to resist rolling his eyes, wondering why he wasn't already anticipating this kind of response. _Of course_ they would be skeptical... At his reaction, Rachel rushed to continue. "I-It's just that – Well, you haven't _known_ him for very long and I know you guys hook up or whatever, but that's not _love_ and—"

"I'm in love with him." He shrugged, one side of his mouth twitching up at the thought. "And _he's_ in love with _me_… Just because our lives have both ended up how they have, it doesn't mean we…don't fall in love…"

And finality. And so the conversation shifted. To lighter topics.

And the group that used to be so close to the countertenor tried to take everything for what it was. As easily as they could.

"I'm pretty sure he's the only other one – I mean, besides me, I guess – that actually ever goes home for holidays and stuff…" Kurt's eyebrows furrowed together in thought, then he nodded slowly. "Yeah, like, he was the only other one that did for Thanksgiving…and now, too. David, Wes's roommate? Yeah, he has a brother that I guess he's sort of close with, but—" Kurt cut himself off as his phone started vibrating in his pocket. "Hold on."

The pale boy looked down, seeing that Blaine was calling him. Curious, and remembering that he hadn't ever received a reply message from the boy, he made to answer it. "Blaine?"

"…Yes, _sexy man_?" Blaine's slurred speech. And a giggle.

Kurt blinked, sort of surprised, then smiled. "You… You sound severely intoxicated," he laughed, having a slightly difficult time himself pronouncing all the words in his still-not-entirely-sober state.

"Ahhhh, _Kurt_. I jus' got your text – 'm sorry – I wanted to talk to you earlier…" Blaine sounded genuinely apologetic, and there was a loud sound in the background and a few bouts of resulting laughter from who Kurt could only assume were some of the other boys that stayed. "So…what're– what're you up to, baby?"

Kurt grinned at his boyfriend's compromised speech and glanced around himself, where mostly everyone was watching him talk with mild curiosity. "Just…hanging out with—" What? With his friends? With his _old_ friends? "—everyone from my old glee club… And _not _drinking as much as you, obviously," the pale boy giggled, and could practically picture the look on his curly-haired love's face, all sloppy and fuzzy from the alcohol.

"_Mmm_, Kurt I miss you, I—"

"Kurt, put him on speaker!" Quinn suggested enthusiastically and was followed by a few encouraging cheers and agreeing whoops, loud enough to drown out Blaine's voice from being audible in Kurt's ear.

"Okay, okay!" He tapped the speaker button and soon the room was filled with the drunken slurs of one Blaine Anderson.

"—were, like, y'know? You – D-do you remember that…that night, Kurt? Ah, Kurt, I miss you…"

The fair-skinned boy let out a low chuckle, realizing his boyfriend had been speaking the entire time. "I miss you too, Blaine," he smiled, looking up in amusement to the others in the room, who smirked as well.

"I… I wish I could…be with you…f-for New Year's…"

A few of the girls in the room mouthed 'awww' and a few of the guys raised eyebrows in question to the sappiness.

"Aww, Blaine, we can kiss when we see each other again and just…pretend…it's midnight on New Year's?" Kurt giggled at his own corny joke, but then there was silence on the other end of the line, except for the quiet breathing. "B-Blaine…? You know…because people _kiss_ at midnight?"

Still more silence, then:

"…_Kiss_ at midnight…? S-screw _kissing at midnight_. Babe, if you were here, I – I'd totally _wreck_ you at mid—"

And Kurt hung the call up, his eyes as wide as they went. And there was silence in the room, and the pale – well, now _red_ – boy refused to make any sort of eye contact. He felt horrified, but also felt the incredible urge to smack his palm against his forehead.

"I feel like your argument of not getting anything is being poorly supported…" Artie mumbled with a smile from his place on the side of the room near a couch where a few of the guys were sitting.

Kurt snapped his head up and looked at the boy, and opened his mouth as though some kind of valid, reasonable argument against that statement would tumble out from it, but instead just sighed and nodded. "Yeah…I… I'm just…gonna call him back…" And he left the room to head up the stairs, this time an embarrassed grin on his face, and once out of sight from the others, Kurt actually face-palmed.

* * *

><p>"You awake?" Blaine croaked out quietly from the doorway, his voice hoarse from the obscene amounts of overly loud talking and impromptu singing he had done the previous night. Thad didn't stir in the bed, and the curly-haired boy watched his steady breathing and determined he was sleeping.<p>

He closed the door quietly and walked to the next door over, opening it tentatively when he heard footsteps shuffling around inside. He spotted Nick rummaging around in his bedside table drawer and pulling out a small bottle – Aspirin, most likely.

"Hey," Blaine greeted in a hushed tone, getting the dark-haired boy's attention.

"Hey…" Nick replied softly, a grin taking over his face that could only be described as saying 'Last night was insane.' And Blaine returned it. "Here, man," The dark-haired boy offered two small pills to his friend, and they both swallowed them dry, blinking dazedly through their hungover-fogged minds.

Blaine glanced briefly to the semi-made bed that belonged to Nick's blonde roommate and sat down on it, noticing the look he was getting from the other boy out of the corner of his eye. "It's weird not having them around after usually seeing them _all the time_… Jeff and Kurt, I mean," Blaine offered, thinking maybe he was picking up on the thoughts of the other boy.

Nick simply nodded, taking a seat on his own bed, and silence engulfed them for a few moments, until he broke it. "Ah, man. Last night really was crazy, wasn't it? It's weird… Last year went by really fast."

Blaine chuckled quietly, his body moving slightly as he lowered down to the bed onto his back. "Right? A lot has changed since then…" He let out a short laugh. "Happy New Year, man…" The curly-haired boy said almost sarcastically and smiled, eyeing Nick with a mischievous expression.

"Dude… Happy _Birthday Month_. This shit's gonna be awesome," Nick murmured tiredly through a laugh, and let himself fall onto the bed with a sigh, stretching his legs down until they reached the end of the mattress.

They lazily bro-fisted with smirks the best they could from their positions on opposite beds, straining to make it work.

The two boys sat in content silence for a few minutes as they attempted to think coherently through their not-entirely-clear heads. Blaine absently skimmed his fingers over the spot on his T-shirt where the tattoo lay underneath, humming a random tune as he did so.

Nick opened his eyes that had at some point closed and took in this behavior, realizing he'd never seen his curly-haired friend the way he was around Kurt. The way he let himself care and didn't try as hard to hide himself.

"You miss him?" Nick observed, watching as Blaine sighed and stilled his hand over his heart.

"Mmmm. Mmhmm…" Blaine hummed a response, his eyes falling shut. He paused. "_You_ miss _him_?" He mumbled. And there was no question of who he was referring to.

Nick blinked and nodded slowly, even though the curly-haired boy couldn't see it with his eyes closed. "Well, _yeah_… But… But it's different. With us. It's not like…you know… Like it is with you and Kurt…"

Blaine tried to hide the side of his lip that twitched up at the response, and resumed the light grazing of his fingers over his tattoo, and nodded. "Okay," and he continued humming.

* * *

><p>"We're not saying you need to get rid of them <em>entirely<em>—"

"Yes we are. _Yes_…we are," Kurt cut Mercedes off, eyeing Rachel's latest atrocity of attire hanging on the back of his chair from when they changed into their comfortable clothes. She insisted on calling it a _sweater_, but all Kurt saw was something with too many colors and small mammals. His critical eye shifted to her face, where she was pouting and looking offended as Mercedes and Tina exchanged silent giggles. Before she could open her mouth to respond though, Kurt motioned for her to come nearer to him. "Let me do your eyebrows before you put the mask on."

She did as she was told and within in time, her brows were sculpted and the four of them were sporting mint face masks, something Kurt had seemingly forgot about since it'd become impossible in his time away, but used to love to indulge in before his life turned upside down.

"It was fun, I guess… I basically just felt really stupid and hungry, though," Kurt shrugged, his eyes far away as he remembered smoking. "It was interesting because everything…" _Like making out with my boyfriend? _"felt really cool… Different…"

Tina and Mercedes nodded, and Rachel looked up from doing the Asian girl's hair, all of them smiling sort of tightly, eyes unsure and not entirely sincere, none of them responding.

Sometimes he could sit and feel like things could drift into the normal range of how they acted around each other, like when they did face masks and watched movies, but sometimes it was painfully obvious how much they had drifted away and changed from each other. There were times like these that Kurt felt this huge wedge between himself and his old life, and it was strange. Looking down at what he was now somehow separate from.

But it wasn't too hard to figure out how to get back.

"Seriously, though. I ate doughnuts…and drank soda! …_Non-diet_ soda!" He exclaimed, and the girls finally all cracked smiles, giggling at this, and he made a mental note to avoid things that made the gap between them obvious.

They headed to Finn's room to see what he, Puck, Sam, and Mike were up to.

They were playing video games.

Still.

There was some of the nonfat, white cheddar popcorn that Kurt had requested in a bowl so he plopped down on a couch there and grabbed it, taking a few pieces and placing them in his mouth carefully, not wanting to crack his mask he had so meticulously applied. His skin would thank him for it.

The boys paused their game and chatted briefly with the girls, and Kurt just observed, feeling as though it was akin to watching a television show or Facebook-stalking someone you didn't know too well. But it didn't feel like _this_ – these topics, and conversations, and people – were his life. Not anymore.

But it was okay. Because it wasn't expected to be anymore. He would visit and see them, and catch up. And it would be fine.

His phone vibrated in his pajama pants pocket, and he looked down to see his boyfriend calling him. Who else?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Kurt."

"Hi, babe," the pale boy smiled and turned away from the rest of the group slightly, not wanting to parade his conversation to the rest of the teens. He didn't catch the exchange of eyebrow-raising and questioning looks at the use of the pet name.

"So… You're coming home tomorrow, right?"

"Mmhmm…" And he almost – _almost_ – didn't catch that he immediately accepted Dalton as _home_, but realized it at the last moment.

"Okay…" And there was a pause. "I just miss you. I know I keep calling a shit ton," he laughed. "Sorry if I'm bugging you."

"No, no. I like hearing from you… I miss you, too," he mumbled with a small smile, knowing that Puck was probably rolling his eyes at the sappiness. "Did you get more wasted after I talked to you last night? You seemed barely conscious and it was only around midnight when I got off…"

There was a low chuckle on the other end of the line. "I'm both proud and ashamed to say there was more drinking after I talked to you… I didn't get up until about 3 p.m. today and the hall was practically silent… Everyone is _so_ hungover."

Kurt giggled at this and blinked, getting a swell of emotion of just wanting to _see_ Blaine again. "Well, take some Tylenol or Aspirin or something for it and get some rest… Or have a Bloody Mary," he shrugged, letting out another light laugh, earning a responding one from his boyfriend.

"Yeah, maybe… We're waiting for you two to get back before we kick off Birthday Month, but having something to take the edge off might be nice… Well, look. I'm gonna let you go so you can get back to your…whatever it is you're up to. I don't want to keep you."

"Facials… And eating popcorn… And have a drink for me, okay? I miss you. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay. Love you. Bye."

"Love you, too… Bye."

He hung up and looked to the group who had more or less gone back to their own conversations or interests. And maybe the _old Kurt_ would never have laughed at drunken shenanigans. And maybe he wouldn't have recommended alcohol to cure a hangover or suggested having a drink in his honor. Maybe the _old Kurt_ wouldn't have told an ex-heroin addict he met at a reform school that he loved him.

But he accepted the change. And that felt good.

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

The pale boy glanced up from his packed bags to the doorway, where Burt was poking his head in, an unreadable look on his face. Without waiting for a real response, the man walked in and took a seat on his son's bed.

"What's going on?" Kurt suddenly felt nervous, like he was about to be scolded or told some kind of bad news. He and his father had exchanged a brief moment arguing over him not being home for Christmas, but after explaining where his priorities were due to Blaine's situation with his brother, his father had understood. Or at least agreed to disagree. Because he sort of had to.

Another thing Kurt had noticed was that his relationship with his dad felt less like a father-son one and more like that of two adults. He was growing up, so to speak, and being on his own had caused his father's word to mean less. Once again, it was a change, but along with many of the changes he was seeing in himself and his life, Kurt felt it was okay.

"…Finn told me about how things are between you and that Blaine kid," Burt started slowly, his eyes narrowing in a way that implied he wanted to be taken seriously.

And _oh god_. Finn _had_ told his dad about Blaine's comment about his… Oh _god_.

Kurt nodded, raising his chin slightly and sat down beside his dad. "We're…dating now…"

His dad ran a hand over his cheek and nodded his head slowly. "He, uh… He said he overheard something that made him think you two were…getting serious? In a physical way?"

Kurt narrowed his eyes and mentally cursed his stepbrother. _Really, Finn? Really?_

"Hey, now. Don't get upset at your brother… I'm the one that was asking about things between you boys… Last time we talked you didn't have a clear answer on where you two stood… Things have changed?"

Once again, Kurt nodded, this time his eyes finding the ceiling. "I love him," he breathed out softly and could feel his father tense beside him. "And…we like to express that to each other…"

"…So…then you two are, uh…?"

Kurt shifted his gaze to meet his father's. "Not…" But then he decided against it, seeing the man's piercing gaze, and averted his eyes again "…_properly_. We're not…_going all the way_," he rushed the words out, blushing deeply and waving his hand dismissively, feigning nonchalance.

There were a few moments of painful silence and Kurt heard his dad sigh heavily. So heavily, in fact, that he turned his eyes to see his father's expression, finding it twisted in thought, causing him to furrow his own eyebrows together in confusion.

"I just… I know I never talked to you about…about _sex_, Kurt…and…after everything…" His father's face fell and he brought one hand up to his forehead, and Kurt was sure the man was close to breaking down.

"Dad," he whispered, scooting closer to him. "It… It wouldn't have mattered either way… It's not like I was… It's not like I had the option of _using protection_ or _being safe_ when I…" He trailed off, seeing his words had caused his dad's face to crumple, and tears were discreetly leaking from his eyes. Kurt swallowed hard at this sight, and felt the own heat building behind his eyes.

"I just… I didn't want the first time you really learned about – about how things happened between two people to be that way. It shouldn't have been that way, Kurt," Burt looked into his son's eyes, clear concern and sorrow present there. "You had never _heard_ of Syphilis before one of those men gave it to you," and this time there was a growl of anger behind his voice, and Kurt's chest shook when a sob bubbled through him at the words. "I should have talked to you first… I… I put it off because I didn't know how to talk to you because of… Because you're gay…"

"Dad…"

"And because of that, you had no idea what was happening to you… It was bad enough just happening… I wish it wasn't how you had to learn about those things, too…"

The two embraced and Kurt had a déjà vu of the day he came out to his father, just being held this way. All previous thoughts of the abandoned father-son relationship were gone at this moment. Because right then, he was a little boy. He was a little boy holding onto his dad.

"I just want you to be happy, Kurt… And I want you to be safe," Burt pulled away and looked the pale boy in the eyes, who stared back with an unwavering gaze. "And I know after…what happened…you went to those sessions and programs and were taught about everything… And I know they talked to you about…_being intimate_ after these things happen and what that can mean, but…" Burt placed his hand on Kurt's shoulder and squeezed it tightly, looking at him steadily. "I want you to talk to me if you need to. I'm here for you. And Carole is here for you. And don't hesitate for ask us anything you're unsure about…"

Kurt took in a shaky breath and gave his dad a watery albeit awkward smile. "Thanks, Dad…"

The man nodded, and paused for a few moments. "You say you love him… He love you, too?" Kurt nodded. "Finn says you two look happy… And that you take care of each other… Just… If you love him, I want you to – whatever it is you do with him, whether it's _sex_, or whatever – I want you to do it to _connect_ with him… Because even if what happened before makes you think anything different…you _matter_, Kurt… And I don't want you to forget that…"

* * *

><p><em>"Kurt."<em>

_"Dad? What's—? Why are you here?"_

_"Kurt, we're going home. Grab your backpack, kiddo."_

_"What? Why?"_

Kurt ran his hands along the thin frame and across the smooth glass, frowning when it left a smudge from his fingerprints. He pressed the pad of his thumb over the hands of the woman in the picture, resting fondly on the head of the infant in the photo.

_"Are we gonna go see Mom?"_

_"…Kurt, we're not gonna be able to go see Mom anymore…"_

He had her eyes. He had always been told he had her eyes.

_"…Wh-what? Dad…"_

_"I-I'm sorry, Kurt… Mom… She was… She's gone… She left to be somewhere that she's not in pain anymore…"_

_"…N-n-no… I don't – I want to see her…"_

_"She's gone, Kurt…" _

_"B-but… But, I… No. I n-need to give h-her…her birthday present… It's tomorrow…"_

Kurt didn't notice someone had entered the room until his bed shifted and then Blaine was there beside him, looking over his shoulder at the item in his hands, shifting his gaze between the photo and his boyfriend's thoughtful face. Suddenly, a very small, fond smile graced Blaine's lips and he tilted his head to the side, resting lightly on his boyfriend's shoulder, and bringing his hand to point to the baby in the picture.

"That's _you_, isn't it…?" At Kurt's subtle nod, he dropped his hand and looked at Kurt's face and back to the picture. "…I can tell because of your eyes…" He paused. "Is that your…sister, or something?"

"…No, it's… She's my mom…"

Blaine tensed just slightly. "O-oh…"

Kurt sighed and tilted his head so it was resting against Blaine's hair, closing his eyes and turning to nuzzle his nose into it, relishing in the smell he missed. "Don't feel bad…" He mumbled into the soft curls. "She was only 16 when she had me…" Blaine nodded because he didn't know what else to do and they both returned their gaze to the picture. "She would have been 33 today."

And it took about three seconds for it to hit Blaine. And his stomach twisted painfully. Without second thought, he wound his arms around the thin boy and held him tight, bringing one hand to rest behind his head to guide his face to be buried in Blaine's chest, which Kurt obliged to, and as soon as he did, he let himself break down, his back shaking as he began to cry and suck in shaky breaths.

"Sh-sh-she died—" he choked out, having a hard time breathing through his quiet but hard sobs, "—on – on the fourth. She d-died the day b-before her birthday…"

"I…" Blaine began, and thought about what he could say. He could say he was sorry, but that really didn't mean anything… And he could say that it was okay, but it wasn't… And so he settled on just Kurt. Because that's really all he was trying to say, anyway. "…Oh, _Kurt_…" They stayed like that for a few moments before Blaine spoke again. "Listen… Your mom's birthday is the first one we're…acknowledging… And Theo… His is the last. So we're starting this month and ending it with shit, okay?" Kurt gave a teary laugh at that and paused in thought.

"…I kn-know you guys said we were going to wait until the w-weekend to…to _really _party and everything, but…can we—? I just think I'm way too sober for this right now…"

Blaine gave him a sympathetic look, but smiled in slight amusement at his comment either way. "Of course."

* * *

><p>A week came and went. And the alcohol and marijuana consumption had reached an all-time <em>high<em>.

In the past years, they tended to save the big nights for the actual _birthdays_, and intoxicate themselves mildly in comparison the other days of the month. Not this year.

"This shit's not…laced, right?"

"Uh… No?" Trent raised an eyebrow and the question and passed the bong over to Nick, looking to David as though asking for an explanation, but received none. "Why?"

"_Mmm_," the dark-haired boy held up one finger sloppily, indicating to wait, and inhaled the smoke, held it, and blew it out smoothly, blinking thoughtfully as he did so. "Uh, remember last year? On B's birthday we got that…that stuff with, like, PCP in it…? And…fuck that… I blame David." He shook his head, passing the drugs to his blonde roommate, who had staggered over to where the three boys were standing by one of the speakers in Arts.

"_Hey,_ I…did _not_ know about…_that_… It wasn't from my brother like usual, so…" David shrugged, watching curiously as Jeff took two hits in a row, swaying as he did so, his eyes having fallen shut. "'Sides, it's not B's birthday, Nick… That's tomorrow…"

The dark-haired boy made a hum of acknowledgement as Trent and the dark-skinned boy walked away clumsily, and Jeff placed the bong down on a table near them and replaced it with a shot glass of something that was present there and downed it, giving a slight cough at the burn.

"H-hey. _Hey_…_Nick_," he laughed, placing the empty glass down ungracefully and stumbling over on his own feet and falling into his roommate, who was drunk, like everyone, but nowhere near this, and who tried to catch the blonde in his arms, looking at him quizzically.

Jeff had been drinking this month more than he usually did. And it currently seemed to be even worse.

"Uh – hey. Jeff… You okay?"

The blonde didn't reply, but instead just nuzzled his face into his roommate's neck, making the dark-haired boy tense. He breathed his hot breath onto the skin there, and Nick had to think for a second before pushing him away slightly, so he could see his face.

"Jeff?"

The blonde just messily ran his tongue over his lip ring and giggled, chucking his arms over the other boy's neck and attempting some kind of movement. "We should…Let's jus'…_dance_, N-Nick…"

He stumbled and laughed again, and Nick had to strain to hold him steady, now genuinely concerned at the state of his friend, his eyebrows knitted together in worry. "N-no, Jeff. Jeff, just calm down… I think – I think you've had too much…"

The blonde stopped his movement but curled up his lips into a hazy half-smiled, his eyes barely open from the alcohol. "Y-yeah, okay…" He smiled and leaned down to rest his face on Nick's shoulder, turning his head so his lips brushed against the boy's neck, and began nibbling softly on the skin there.

Nick pushed him away swiftly but gently, staring at him with wide eyes, searching his face. "J-Jeff! W-what are you doing?"

But the blonde was persistent, and moved back to his position, placing his lips on the skin under Nick's jaw, whispering against it. "I-I'm _so drunk_. Let's jus'… Let's jus' h-hook up," and he sucked hard on a spot there, bringing his tongue out to run over the skin.

"J-Jeff…" But this time, with his hands up against the other's chest, Nick didn't push away immediately, and he had no idea why. He felt an unexplainable, odd sort of twist in his stomach, and when the blonde shifted and began moving his lips against his in a sloppy kiss, he let his eyes fall shut, but only for a few moments before pushing him away. "S-stop. Jeff, stop."

"W-what?"

The dark-haired boy began leading his roommate over to a couch where Thad and David were smoking cigarettes, the former's eyes glued to him, indicating he had probably seen what had happened. "Just… You're _really_ wasted… I don't even – We just _made out_, Jeff… Just sit down," he mumbled it all quietly so the others couldn't hear over the music, and plopped the other boy down onto the seat beside Thad, who darted his eyes between the two roommates.

Jeff said nothing in response, but just turned his glazed-over, wide brown eyes to Nick, confusion and I-don't-know-what-to-say written all over his face. Nick gave him a small tight smile and drifted to another side of the room to talk with someone else, trying to understand what the fuck he just did and with who.

A half hour passed and Kurt clumsily found his way to the bathroom, parting from Blaine with a hot, wet kiss, both of their faces flushed red from the contact and the vodka. He pushed open the door and moved towards a urinal, mentally laughing at himself as he tried to keep himself steady as he began working on his zipper.

But he stopped. A loud, retching noise broke through the silence in the room and the splash of vomit falling into the toilet. He snapped his head over to the stall where a body was present and bent down to see a tall, thin frame and a black shirt he recognized.

"Jeff," he sighed, moving over to the area and finding the door not locked, and pulled it open, just as the blonde heaved again, more bile splashing into the bowl. A few moments of calm passed and Kurt sat down beside him on the ground and pulled him into a sitting position facing away from the bowl and flushed the toilet, handing the blonde some tissues to wipe his mouth with. "Wh-what's going on…? Are you okay?"

Jeff closed his eyes and nodded, breathing in shakily. "Jus'… Too much…" And he leaned his head against the side of the stall, his bangs clinging to his sweaty forehead.

At that moment, the sound of the door opening and shutting as well as footsteps echoed through the room and Kurt looked over to see Thad standing by a urinal, and the sound of him pissing soon was heard. After he was finished, Kurt cleared his throat. "Thad," he spoke, trying to get the boy's attention.

He did. The dark-haired boy jumped and snapped his head around to see the two sitting on the ground near a stall and raised an eyebrow. "What th'fuck are you guys doing?"

"Jeff drank too much… Can you, um… Can you wet a paper towel?"

Thad did as he was told and handed Kurt the damp napkin, leaning against the stall doorframe and folding his arms over his chest as he watched his pale roommate wipe the sweat from the blonde's face, who was still just breathing heavily and not moving much, keeping his eyes shut. "Drank too much…" Thad mused, shaking his head. "Drank enough to suck Nick's face."

At this, Jeff groaned, and Kurt dropped the paper towel, his eyebrows shooting up, whipping his head up to see Thad shrugging. He turned his gaze back to Jeff, who had clamped his eyes even tighter shut in what seemed to be agony of some sort. "_What_?"

But the blonde just groaned again, turning to bury his face in the wall of the stall.

Kurt sighed and looked up to his roommate, silently telling him to leave them to talk, so Thad shrugged indifferently and moved messily out of the room. The pale boy waited until the echo of the door slamming shut died down and silence filled the room again. "Jeff… What's going on?"

The tall boy let out a shaky sigh and shook his head. "I'm…r-really drunk—"

"Jeff. I – I'm serious. Everything… We…had that _talk _before break and now it never came up, and… You've been getting sick a lot… You've been drinking a _lot_ – You g-got drunk enough to kiss your _roommate_, Jeff—"

"Oh _god_," Jeff moaned and pulled his hands up shakily to cover his face.

"…What's up with you?"

Silence.

"I… I dunno what to do, Kurt," he mumbled into his hands quietly, his words slurring together with intoxication and what sounded like the beginning of tears.

"…About _what_…? Talk to me…"

Jeff's body inflated with a giant, shuddering breath he took in and he scrunched his shoulders up and ducked his head down. "I thought… I jus' thought you'd…understand…" Before Kurt could question, he continued. "Y-you said… You said you _threw up_, too… I didn't… I don't…know…"

"Jeff…"

"I jus' thought…"

Kurt pulled the blonde's hands from his face and held his wrists, tugging on them gently to get him to make eye contact, and the pale boy saw the other's eyes were red-rimmed and glassy. It had to be what he thought. The sickness, the behavior, the self-destruction. He had an eating disorder. "Jeff. A-are you doing this…? Are you doing this to yourself?"

At his words, the blonde's face crumpled in confusion and he blinked a few times, a stray tear being shed and dropping to the ground. "W-what…? Why would I…?" And Kurt blinked when Jeff's face showed his conflict with the statement, and maybe he had guessed wrong? Or did Jeff not understand? Either way, he looked terribly puzzled in his intoxicated state. "N-no!" And Jeff let out a sob, his face burning red with the anger and frustration present there. "Why don't you—? _Fuck you_!" And he flung himself from Kurt's grasp, causing the pale boy to topple over onto his back in the process.

"Jeff—"

"No!" And he stumbled angrily to his feet, walking over Kurt and making his way to the door and back into the party.

* * *

><p>"We need to get back before rounds," Wes sighed, running a hand over his face. "We're so fucked, anyway."<p>

"It was just curfew. We've missed curfew a thousand times. It'll be fine… Where _are_ they?" Nick breathed out, some tone of anger in his voice, which shut Wes up, and was odd to hear from the usually easygoing Warbler.

"Dammit!" Everyone looked over to see Thad angrily storming from where a couple couches were by one side of the room, facing the wall. "Why is it always _me_…? They're over there. They're all fucking _naked_ and shit on the couch and there's cum _everywhere_, so, yeah. Someone go have fun dealing with that… I'm not – It's _not_ gonna be me this time…"

After losing a dangerous game of rock-paper-scissors, Trent cautiously approached the soiled couch and kicked it roughly from the back, causing the two hungover lovers to stir violently, both narrowing their eyes when understanding the situation. Once hurriedly dressed – and perhaps still a little crusty – Kurt found Jeff as they were heading back to the dorms from Arts.

"Hey… I'm sorry about last night… I didn't mean to…bring up things that upset you…" The pale boy confessed, looking apologetic and tilting his head to catch the other's eye.

Jeff smiled his little half-smile and nodded, bringing a hand to cast shadow over his eyes as his sight was sensitive to the sun. "Me, too… And I wasn't upset, really… I was…_really drunk_… I don't even know what got in to me…" Kurt held himself back from frowning at that, knowing a lot of what they talked about had nothing to do with the amount of vodka the blond had consumed.

"…Yeah, you _did_ drink a lot…" He shrugged.

At that point, as they were approaching the dorm building, Wes joined them, raising an eyebrow at the paler of the two. "You shouldn't be talking, Kurt. If the fact that we have to _throw_ _out_ that couch is any indicator, you were pretty wasted last night, too…" He scrunched up his nose.

Kurt's face flooded with color and he paused at his doorway after Thad entered, looking at Wes and Jeff, who had stopped to hear his reply. "We—! It was past midnight and it's Blaine's birthday!" He turned his head to the side to avoid eye contact, talking in a lower voice and raising an eyebrow. "We were _celebrating_…"

Said curly-haired boy passed them then, on his way to his room, and winked at Kurt, who smiled in return, and mumbled under his breath as he walked by, barely audible. "Happy birthday to me…"

* * *

><p>Kurt left the counseling room with a sigh, feeling the pulse in his hand and the dampness of the paper under his fingers as he was gripping the bag so tightly. He knew that they tended to up the dosage of medications like his after a while, and that, sooner or later, they were going to do it to him; he just didn't know it would happen <em>at such a (in)convenient time<em>.

He began walking to the French room, where he had class in 15 minutes.

It had taken him a while to adjust to the last change in medication, and he didn't want to be getting even _more_ nauseous and have _more_ headaches than he did already, especially considering it was Birthday Month…

Kurt reached into the bag and frowned at the small, oblong-shaped pills in the orange bottle that he was now required to take two of daily, instead of one.

_"And you'll be monitored daily by your group therapist to see that you're adjusting the dosage correctly and reacting well to the change. With patients with histories like yours, we need to keep a careful watch."_

He was sick of having his brain chemistry fucked with, even if it had helped at the time he started them.

He was sick of being watched because everyone thought he'd try it again, even though he was never sure he was serious the first two times.

He was sick of having everyone think that just because he could, he would rebel against the rules, and neglect his medication, and self-harm and have dark thoughts.

He was sick of being _monitored_.

* * *

><p>"Is Mr. <em>Tall, Blonde, and Lanky<em> not joining us?" Thad questioned, glancing to the other two as they made their way down the dorm stairs to the outdoor exit.

"No… He said he was working really hard on our translation thing and would just smoke in the room, so…" David shrugged, but frowned slightly, as did the other two.

They found their way to their wall outside of Arts, and leaned up against it, appreciating the uncharacteristically sunny day for late January, and soaked in the sun. Thad hummed a few moments later, David's comment still in his mind as he pulled out a cigarette. "He's been acting weird."

The other two nodded slowly, and Blaine pulled out a stick as well, gesturing vaguely with it as he talked. "Yeah, he's been kind of…distant? I don't know… Kurt thinks…" He trailed off uncertainly, putting the cig between his lips to light it, sucking in and blowing out a puff of smoke. "Well, he's not sure what's going on exactly, but he thinks _something's_ wrong… And he and Jeff have become pretty close, so…" He shrugged with one shoulder, staring off into the field of snow-covered land, slightly sloshy from the hot day.

They enjoyed their cigarettes in content silence for a few moments before David chuckled lowly and the others looked to him curiously, to which he just shook his head. "Sorry, I was just thinking back to when I had math… I was still _so high_ from when we smoked this morning…" He trailed off, taking a hit from his stick before flicking the butt and folding his arms over his chest and facing the other two. "And we're reviewing matrices and she's talking about finding the _adjoint_, and I just start cracking up," he laughed again, through the story, then in a mocking voice, "_Find the adjoint of the matrix. Remember, this is only one type of adjoint_."

The others laughed as well, and they realized how little time they had been sober within the past few weeks.

Thad looked up as Blaine stared into the distance in front of them, a contemplative look on his face. As much as he didn't show it at times, he knew Blaine well. He knew all of the boys well… And considering what he had observed himself, and the furrowing of his friend's thick eyebrows, he took a guess.

"B," he started slowly, until his friend glanced to him. "You okay?"

The curly-haired boy seemed surprised by the concern, but nodded, and turned away again, and Thad sighed and thought he'd try to lighten him up first.

"You guys fuck yet?"

And Blaine jumped slightly at that, just out of surprise, but then smiled a little and laughed, shaking his head. "Uh, no? Not yet… But…"

Thad shrugged. "He's been all over you lately," he offered, to which both Blaine and David nodded.

"Yeah…he… I mean, I'm not saying it's bad at all, or anything, it's just… Have you noticed he's been…off…lately? Like, not _bad_ or anything, just… I feel like he's acting a little differently… And I was thinking how _Jeff_ is, too, and…"

"It's probably just his meds," Thad assured him, using the same reasoning he told himself. "I've noticed, too, but he's on a new dosage, or whatever, so I'm sure that's all it is."

Both of the other boys looked at him with slightly wide eyes, not responding verbally.

"What? Didn't he tell you he took medication…? I mean, I live with the kid, so I asked about it when I saw it, but I would have assumed he told _you_," he made a motion towards Blaine, who just shrugged a little and blinked.

"Well, I've heard him talk about it in passing a couple times… And when we stayed at Arts overnight those few times, he would say he missed taking it and would go do it, but…" The curly-haired boy trailed off, not exactly having anything to say past that, and he looked back to Thad, who was lighting a second cigarette.

"Yeah, it's some kind of anti-depressant," he took a hit and watched for the two boys' reactions, but found them generally passive, and wasn't surprised. No one at Dalton was really surprised with those kinds of things anymore. "They changed the dosage, so he's probably just adjusting. I'm sure it'll be fine…"

Blaine nodded, but wasn't sure. Kurt hadn't been _distant_, per say, like Jeff had been… And he hadn't been angry or irrational… He had just been drifting in and out of full attention, which was worrisome. He'd space out and stare off into the distance and have to be called repeatedly before coming back. But once he was, he was absolutely fine, though he seemed to crave some kind of new sexual needs…

Maybe it was the drinking and smoking. And once the month was over, things would fall back into place.

* * *

><p>And January flew by, in a mess of drunken haze and barely-there levels of consciousness. If there was a word to describe it, it would be a <em>blur<em>. And aside from the few missed curfews and suspicious glances from Ms. Webber, another successful birthday month had been completed.

Jeff didn't try to kiss Nick again.

And no one smoked any weed laced with PCP.

And, well, Blaine and Kurt _did_ wake up a few more times covered in their own semen and sweat, but never again by the disgruntled voice of Thad.

And it was time for normalcy to take back its hold.

* * *

><p>"Kurt…"<p>

Kurt moaned and rolled away from the voice, burying his head as deep as he could under the covers and pillow.

He felt like he never left the drunken haze. And he couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He scrunched himself tighter into a ball on his bed, breathing in the scent of shampoo that was present on the pillow beside him, from when Blaine had last been there.

"Babe… You missed classes again today… You need to go to the medical wing," Blaine sighed shakily and sat down on the edge of his bed, running a hand over his boyfriend's back that was facing him. Kurt's pale, bare shoulders and mussed hair suggested that he hadn't showered or gotten dressed after Blaine had left the night before. And it was now the next afternoon.

Kurt scooted back into the touch and sighed heavily, his shoulders easing with comfort. "I don't… I don't want to go to the _medical wing_, Blaine… I just feel shitty… And why didn't someone wake me up for class?" At this, he groggily turned to face the other boy, twisting around out of the blanket, revealing his bare chest that still presented evidence of their previous night's fooling around.

"…Thad _did_. He said you wouldn't get up and just kept burying yourself in here saying you felt sick," Blaine said slowly, as though he was wondering why Kurt was pretending to not remember.

Kurt blinked slowly and nodded. "Yeah, well," he let his eyes fall shut and ran his hands over his face that had a shiny build-up of oil, "I _did_ feel sick, so it's a good thing I didn't go, anyway…"

"If you feel like this, _go to the medical_—"

"Baby, I don't _want to go to the medical wing_… I'm just feeling the effects of the partying still…" He trailed off, sighing loudly and licking his lips that looked cracked and pale.

Blaine furrowed his eyebrows and blinked, searching the boy's face even though his eyes were shut. "Kurt." When he didn't respond in anyway, he repeated. "Kurt. It's the _middle of February_. You're not still hungover two weeks later…"

The pale boy hummed in response and rolled over again, away from his boyfriend, who sighed in slight irritation and gripped the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Kurt, you need to go talk to them about your meds. You're having bad side effects or something, and they need to fix it…"

Kurt said nothing for a few seconds, and then mumbled out, "That's stupid. I'm not having side effects… They're _monitoring _me, no one else thinks anything's wrong."

And it was true. Ms. Webber hadn't said anything. And Kurt had gone to a private session since the medication change, and they'd done nothing… He had been having ups and downs. Some days he was fine, and others…

"I just… I'm worried about you… You seem out of it all the time…"

Kurt blinked and turned around slowly and came to a sitting position, facing Blaine. "I'm happy when I'm with you… I _do_ feel shitty sometimes, but… I mean, we partied a _lot_ and I'm just coming down from that… And I'm getting used to the dosage change. I'm fine. I'd tell you if I wasn't…"

And Blaine believed that, he thought, as Kurt moved to kiss him chastely with his dry lips, and then asked him if he wanted to join him in the shower.

But would he _know_ if he wasn't fine…?

* * *

><p>Blaine ran his hand back and forth over the tattoo on his chest, realizing the hair they had shaved off there was finally back to its normal length. He glanced over to the side with a fond smile, seeing the boy he loved rising and falling with deep, heavy breaths, his mouth slightly parted and red. His hair messy in its half-dry state. His cheeks flush from exertion.<p>

_We've been fooling around a lot, lately_… Blaine thought, blinking and absently running his hand from his chest to his bare stomach. _Kurt practically begs for it at every opportunity_… Not that he complained… Just…

Wasn't Kurt the one who didn't want it to go too fast? For them to still enjoy each other without it always being physical?

Having no idea what really motivated him to do so, Blaine crept out of bed and put on some of Kurt's clean boxers, stepping over to where he figured Kurt's pills would be, in the bedside drawer.

_Zoloft_. And aside from _may cause dizziness_, there weren't any side effects listed.

He carefully put the bottle back where they had been and found his boyfriend's laptop on his desk, opening it silently and typing into Google.

_Side effects of Zoloft—_

_in teenagers_ – Google suggested – and he accepted and hit enter, finding the first website would probably be a good try.

He scanned through the medical paragraphs until he found the bulleted list, and was shocked at how many there were.

**Nausea **

Kurt sometimes had that, but he said he had a weak stomach, anyhow, so…

**Drowsiness **

**Fatigue**

_Makes sense_, Blaine thought, and maybe he's just tired from his medication… But if he's having side effects at all, perhaps he should still get it checked out…

**Impotence (also known as erectile dysfunction or ED)**

_"B-Blaine—" Kurt moaned out loudly, and the curly-haired boy grinned into his pale neck, the idea of his boyfriend falling apart at his touch something he loved to think about._

_He started slow, but kept stroking; twisting and using his thumb on his throbbing cock the way he knew drove Kurt crazy. He was painfully hard in his own jeans, but the pale boy always returned the favor after insisting he needed to get off right then. Though something changed… And the skin of Kurt's penis became less tight and the hardness began lacking. Blaine unconsciously ceased movement, wondering if somehow he'd missed Kurt's orgasm…_

_But he didn't. And he heard Kurt's shaky breaths still coming out, panting, and twitching under the hand that was still wrapped loosely around his half-hard cock. The pale boy opened his eyes and looked down, immediate shock present on his face._

_"Uh… That's…" He trailed off, looking horrendously embarrassed, and Blaine picked up his movements again, trying to regain the sensations from before, and while Kurt moaned at the touch, his cock remained the same, even growing softer. After a while of this unproductive stroking, Kurt shakily pushed Blaine's hand off of him. "S-sorry, I don't know… I don't know what's wrong…" _

_Blaine furrowed his eyebrows for a moment and shook his head, even though Kurt's eyes were closed. Had he done something wrong…? "No, it's… It's okay…"_

_At this, the pale boy looked to his boyfriend, a hardly-there forced smile on his face. "Then… Let me take care of you…?" And Kurt needed to. Because regardless of what Blaine had said, this wasn't okay. And he needed to still feel sexy. Because not being able to get it up wasn't. _

Blaine frowned at this, remembering the few times Kurt had insisted he was fine, and just got Blaine off, and wondered if it was because he was unable to get hard… He continued down the list…

**Delayed ejaculation **

And wow, if this didn't start clearing some things up. Blaine thought back to how different he had had to take care of Kurt. Because the times they had been getting together had become much more frequent, Kurt got more and more difficult to get off. The sort of, _simultaneous handjobs_ they had just exchanged in the shower…

He had come long before Kurt did, and while he was able to maintain an erection, he just seemed so…_desperate_ for a release. He had been begging, _whining_, for Blaine to do something, and _please_, and Blaine had feverishly stroked and touched him, while sucking his neck and tongue and biting his throat and nipples. Anything that could help him, and he finally came.

And Blaine realized he had probably been trying to make up for all the problems he'd had in their sex life by increasing the frequency which with they hooked up. And Blaine felt like shit. Thinking that Kurt felt like he wasn't being what he was supposed to be in their intimacy. Or perhaps he was trying to make up for all of his sexual frustration… Either way. Blaine felt like shit at the thought.

Most of the things Blaine read didn't seem to apply to Kurt.

**Increased sweating**

Not that he had noticed.

**Indigestion **

He wouldn't necessarily know, but not that he had heard of.

**Loss of appetite**

He still ate a ridiculously small amount…

**Dry mouth**

**Insomnia**

...

Maybe if in a few weeks, their sex problems didn't subside, he'd talk to Kurt again, but aside from that, these side effects didn't seem to intense… Of course, they seemed somewhat uncomfortable, but nothing too serious. Kurt seemed somewhat quiet as time went by since he'd discussed it all with Thad and David, and he appeared to be more indifferent, but perhaps it didn't have to do with the meds… After all, none of the side effects seemed to—

**Suicidal thoughts or behavior (withdrawn, extreme elation or feeling of happiness that may switch back and forth with a depressed or sad mood)**

Blaine's breath caught in his throat.

**Suicidal thoughts or behavior**

He needed to get Kurt help.

**Suicidal thoughts**

_**Suicide**_

He shut the laptop quietly and looked back to the bed where Kurt hadn't moved an inch, still breathing deeply and peacefully. No way in fucking hell was Blaine letting things escalate to that point. If Kurt's medication wasn't agreeing with him, it needed to be figured out.

After picking up Kurt's phone and fiddling with it for a few moments, he checked his love again.

The curly-haired boy gently rubbed his palm on the boy's pale, bare back and watched with a different perspective as he stirred sleepily, cracking his eyes open to see Blaine sitting on the edge of the bed, and not lying beside him. "Baby, I'm gonna go finish some homework with Wes, okay?" He searched Kurt's face, seeing him nod understandingly and looking around, as though considering whether or not he should get up. "You keep sleeping though," Blaine insisted in a whisper, rubbing circles smoothly on his back and bending down to kiss his shoulder.

"Mmmm… Okay…" Kurt let his eyes fall shut, and Blaine just stayed there for a little bit longer, watching as he began drifting off, keeping his hand in movement across his boyfriend's warm, pale skin.

He moved towards the door, but just as he reached for the handle, a voice caught his attention. "Blaine?"

The curly-haired boy looked back to see Kurt's eyes still closed. "Yes?"

"I love you."

Letting out a shaky breath, because _god_. _Fuck_, he loved him too. "I love you, too, Kurt."

* * *

><p>"Hello?"<p>

"Is this Finn…?"

* * *

><p>He thought about what Blaine had said, and looked up to the ceiling.<p>

About his medication.

Maybe he'd noticed the difference in himself, but not too much. Not really. A part of him was too afraid to look too deeply into it, to check to see if he was falling or not.

He thought of tightropes and those who danced along them like air.

And how they _knew_ they could fall, and were aware of what falling meant, but didn't fall just to see if that's what it was. They held themselves high and trusted that they wouldn't. And Kurt would do the same.

But then he thought of Blaine, and everything that he would lose if he did fall, and if he lost himself without realizing it.

He got out of bed and onto his knees, reaching under the bed and yanking out a duffel he had packed during break to bring some things back with him. There was a small tape player from so long ago, and a tape labeled:

_May 29 '99_

And it was just music. No song that was outstanding. But it was his mother. And so it was more than just music and everything on it was outstanding.

And in the past few weeks, things seemed less interesting to him, and he knew that was a sign, but maybe he was actually just getting bored. With Blaine he felt okay, but a dull sort of _aching_ okay, because things in him had dulled, and he was desperate for things to be the same. But relationships went through ups and downs? Everything else. But everything else seemed mediocre.

_Average._

Any time he played his mother's singing, he would cry. And he would feel. And if he didn't, he would know. He would have taken the leap and risked it and fallen. He didn't want to. He wanted to catch ahold of the sky and climb. To stare down and laugh at all the misplaced worry.

But then he thought of tightrope walkers.

And maybe knowing he was falling wasn't falling at all.

And they knew they could fall by checking. By holding themselves and balancing.

And dropping would be letting yourself go without trying to first know what it means and trying to stay up.

Because they walked along just as he did, and only knew they would fall if they tested the balance. And that's all he would be doing, as he placed the tape in the player. He didn't need to be afraid if it was just a test. He wasn't going to drop.

Tightrope walkers always have their arms out, perhaps to take whatever advantage against the fall they can get. He clicked the button and let the notes wash over him.

It was average.


	13. Perfect

**A/N You guys. YOU GUYS. I CAN'T EVEN. BECAUSE THE UPDATING LACK AND I CAN'T AHHH. I'm sorry. GAH I feel bad  
>trigger involving self-harm<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

* * *

><p>"Justin."<p>

"Hmm?" The brown-haired boy looked over with a raised eyebrow from his bed where he was on his laptop to Blaine, who was entering their room and closing the door behind himself.

"Can you leave the room for a sec? I need to make a call," Blaine explained carefully, keeping his eyes on the boy as he moved slowly towards his own bed. When his roommate said nothing and made no response to his statement, he added, "It's important. And…private."

The other boy grunted, but returned his gaze back to the screen in front of him. "Why don't _you_ leave?"

Blaine sighed and sat down on his mattress. "I don't have anywhere else to go where no one will overhear it. Justin, man, come on. I'm hardly ever in here… Can't you just go out to the lounge or something?"

The clicking of typing on his keyboard continued and Justin finally glanced up to Blaine, then back to his screen. "Why are you naked?"

Blaine blinked and looked down to himself, realizing he had never put on any other clothes than Kurt's boxers. "Oh… Well… I was over at Kurt's and—"

"Nevermind. Don't wanna hear it… And I won't listen in on your little conversation, okay? I don't care about whatever you're talking about… You can make your call."

Blaine rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone from his bedside table and looked to the message where he texted himself a number from Kurt's phone. He pressed call and held the device up to his ear, hearing it ring… Once… Twice…

"Hello?"

Blaine took in a sharp breath at the slightly confused, but also slightly familiar voice coming in on the other end. "Is this Finn?"

"Yeah? …Uh, who is this?"

"It's, um… It's Blaine…"

"Kurt's…?"

"Yeah, Kurt's boyfriend, Blaine." He immediately cursed himself for his words as he looked over to Justin, and the boy was giving him a raised-eyebrow expression. He let out a scoff, returning to his laptop. Justin knew Blaine was gay. And he knew him and Kurt were…involved, at least on some level from what he'd walked in on a few times. Calling them 'boyfriends' was just a more tender term that could end up being regretted at a place like Dalton.

"Oh, okay… What's up?" Finn's voice was casual, as though Blaine was just calling to chat, but then it turned more panicked and serious. "Wait, what's going on? Is Kurt okay?"

"I – yeah. I mean, yeah, he's _okay_… He just…" Blaine let out a sigh, not sure how to word everything.

"Dude, seriously. You're freakin' me out."

"Fuck. I just… I don't know how to say this. Kurt… Well, he's on a new dose of medication. Okay?"

"Yeah, I know that. Our parents told me."

Blaine ran a hand through his curls, which were still slightly damp from his shower with Kurt, and let himself flop down onto the bed. "Well… I think he's…not adjusting very well… To the change, I mean. He's been kind of…" He trailed off for a moment, trying to think of wording, "…out of it, I guess. He's been missing class and group and meals. He hasn't gotten in trouble for it yet because he just said he's not feeling well. And our group therapist and the personal ones, too, they're supposed to be watching for signs and everything, but they're _not_ because they haven't noticed _anything_, even though he's been kind of bad for a couple weeks now and it's pretty fucking obvious, I mean seriously. He – he's been having ups and downs and it's like, _some_ days he's _fine_ and others he's really depressed and just sleeps and _sleeps_, and it _freaks_ _me out_ because he hardly even _talks_ to me, which is unusual, because we talk a _shit ton_ when we're together. A-and I tried telling this to him, but he won't listen to me about going to the medical center, a-and I looked up his medication's side effects and, in _teenagers especially_, there's a risk for _suicide_ and—" he cut himself off from his rant, taking in a long shaky breath, not realizing he'd gotten choked up at some point during his long ramble.

There was a silence for a few good moments during which Blaine was catching his breath and trying to calm down.

Finally, Finn spoke. "Has he…? He hasn't tried to again, has he?"

_Wait… Again…? _Blaine was almost taken aback by the question. "To—? To _kill himself—_? N-no… _No_, I mean, that's why I wanted to do something. I can't let him to get to that point."

"…Hmmm… Well… Did you, like, talk to someone _there_?"

The curly-haired boy let out a humorless, weak scoff, shaking his head. "Yeah… They didn't do anything…"

* * *

><p><em>Blaine sighed and knocked on the partially open door, poking his head in and looking around the small room. "Ms. Webber?"<em>

_The woman was sitting behind a desk, seemingly concentrating on the paperwork in front of her. When she heard the boy's voice, she snapped her head up to see Blaine standing slightly awkwardly in the doorway, but didn't give him much focus as she turned her attention back to the papers. "Mr. Anderson, is there something I can help you with?"_

_The boy in the doorway blinked and hesitated, opening his mouth but not actually speaking, letting his discomfort getting the best of him. Ms. Webber looked up after a few moments of silence, noticing this behavior and pushing her paperwork aside slowly, watching him closely, seeing him looking uncomfortable. _

_"Blaine, please come in. Sit down." He did as he was told and took a careful seat in the chair across from the counselor's desk, still not speaking. "Is there something troubling you?"_

_Ms. Webber's job didn't include being available to students for their personal appointments. She was solely a group therapist. Regardless of this job description, she tended to care deeply for her group members and was often concerned for their well-being, and told her students to talk to her if they needed, even if she came off cold at times._

_"It's about Kurt."_

_She nodded slowly and blinked as Blaine let his eyes fall to his lap. "Are you two having disagreements? I can schedule a meeting for the two of you to—"_

_"No, no. He's… We're not fighting…"_

_She took in his genuine concern and became slightly confused, though curious. "Do you want to tell me what's going on with him?"_

_He nodded slowly, and took a breath. "It's his medication. I think he's… He's having problems with it." _

_"Kurt's been on his medication for almost a year. Are these symptoms new, or—?"_

_"Yes, I mean – It's since he got a dosage change…"_

_The counselor sighed. "Blaine, this really shouldn't be a concern of yours. And I haven't noticed anything that should be a problem, and as his friend, you aren't the best person to be making these observations—"_

_"He's my – I mean, we're… We're boyfriends," Blaine blurted out, closing his eyes after letting the words escape him, not really knowing why he had said them. _

_The woman raised her eyebrows. "I wasn't aware that you two were…" She blinked and cleared her throat. "From what has been said in group, I understood that you two were…involved, but I didn't know you were exclusive with each other…"_

_Blaine opened his eyes and looked at her intently, determined, and nodded. "We are. We're…really close and… And I'm noticing things and I'm fucking worried about him."_

_"I understand that, but Blaine…" She put her hand up gently, seeing his frustration brewing and choosing to ignore his language. "I can't be jumping to contact his psychiatrist to make changes anytime someone else says he's been acting different. It's up to us as his advisors to monitor him, and it's up to him to contact us if he's feeling side effects." _

_Upset, Blaine stood abruptly and let out a frustrated sigh. He was about to say something, anything to make his point, but the look on his therapist's face told him it would be in vain. He let out a noise of aggravation and left the room without any other words. _

* * *

><p>"Well… That sucks, dude. Um, not to be…" Finn trailed off on the other side of the line, and Blaine pressed the phone closer to his ear. "But why did you call me? Burt's in charge of all his medical stuff."<p>

The curly-haired boy pressed his lips into a line. "His dad…?" He heard an affirmative hum from Finn, even though he already knew Kurt's dad's name and was more shocked than anything. "Well… I didn't think it'd really be a good idea for me to call him…" There was silence on the phone and Blaine could practically _see_ the confused, blank look on Kurt's stepbrother's face. "…I just don't think he'd really take anything I say too seriously…"

"Dude. If it was about Kurt, he'd listen… Or my mom. She's a nurse, she'd know about the stuff that's going on with his medication… I can talk to her. And Burt."

"I…" Blaine sat up slowly in his bed, trying to wrap his mind around this. "You'd tell them? I mean, like, you think they'll believe all this, even if it was coming from _me_?"

"…Why not?"

The curly-haired boy blinked, licking his lips. "I guess… Well, it happens. Trust me… Anyway, thanks for doing this…Finn. I'm… I'm just really fucking worried about him."

"Uh, okay. Yeah. Yeah, no problem, man."

"Well… I'll…see you some other time, Finn."

"Yeah, uh… Blaine?"

Right as he was about to press 'end' on his phone, he heard the tall teen say his name. "Yeah?"

"Thanks. You know, for caring about him, and stuff. It's good you told me."

Blaine was taken aback by this, but smiled, glad that no one could see him grinning like a goof at this moment of sincerity. "Yeah. No big… Bye, Finn."

"Bye."

* * *

><p>"Oh, fuck," Thad breathed, his eyebrows shooting up as he jumped back in surprise at the person standing at his door. "Blaine, you scared the shit out of me," he raised a single eyebrow in question as the curly-haired boy continued standing and staring at him. Thad stepped forward and closed his door behind him, moving fully out into the hallway, watching his friend as he did so.<p>

"Is Kurt…? He's still in bed, isn't he?" Blaine asked, a mix of concern and frustration in his voice.

Thad glanced briefly to the door behind him, and nodded. "Um… Yeah. He got up and showered…but then he sort of just went back into bed and fell asleep. I asked him if he was going to class, and he told me to fuck off." At Blaine's disbelieving look, he added, "Seriously. He said the words 'just fuck off, Thad.' So I left… I'm getting freaking tired of trying to drag his ass to class."

Blaine sighed and nodded. "No, I… I get it. Thanks for…trying, I guess. I'm gonna go get him, though. He really needs to go to class."

"The nurse came to look at him yesterday after I checked him in as sick," Thad rolled his eyes and sighed, "and she said he was fine and should go to his classes. They're gonna know if he's faking it now."

Blaine nodded as Thad stepped aside and began walking down the hall to breakfast, and he opened Kurt's door and walked inside, seeing a wet, pale, admittedly pathetic version of his boyfriend lying on the bed in a pair of boxers, also damp from not properly drying off.

He wanted to be sad. And comforting. And to hold and kiss and _sooth_ this poor boy, but he needed to be real. He needed to get Kurt to class or he was going to fail and get expelled, and that mean getting up _now_.

"Kurt." No response. "_Kurt_. Babe, get up. We're going to class."

That earned a low mumble and a subtle shift of the otherwise motionless body in front of him. Another soft hum was let out and the pale boy cracked open an eye, seeing Blaine and then twisting to glance at his bedside clock. "Mmmm… Blaine, baby, what are you doing? You should be at breakfast," Kurt mumbled over the last part through a yawn and Blaine moved towards his boyfriend's wardrobe.

"No, I'm skipping breakfast. And _we_'re going to go to class today…" He began pulling out a uniform blazer and tried to find a pair of pants that weren't rumbled and dirty on the floor. "…You didn't tell me the nurse came by yesterday…" He mumbled offhandedly.

Kurt grumbled and scooted up more into his bed, and pulled the covers over his body. "Oh… Yeah…"

Blaine blinked and looked over to his boyfriend, staring as he saw he wasn't moving to get up. "Um. _Yeah_. And she said you're not sick and need to go to class? Come on, get up. We don't have that much time before Chem." The curly-haired boy walked over and pulled his boyfriend up to a sitting position, to which he obliged, and began helping him into his white uniform shirt, trying to button it up for him as the pale boy watched his hands sleepily. He soon began working his tie.

"I'll go _tomorrow_, Blaine. I haven't even done my moisturizing—"

"Stand up. Put your pants on." The pale boy sighed and did as he was told, pulling on his slacks, though becoming more awake as he did so. Blaine dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out his old pocket watch, reading the numbers. "Come on, put on your blazer. We can still get to breakfast if we leave now… I know you haven't been eating much."

Kurt just grumbled in reply, knowing it was true but not caring.

Kurt realized that was generally the case with everything going on with him. He knew he was not right. He knew he needed to do something. He knew something was wrong.

He just didn't _care_.

So what if he was feeling just as depressed as before he started any medication?

So what if he just really felt like sleeping and hardly wanted to talk to anyone?

Yeah, he realized this was happening. And it was happening because of his medication.

What were they going to do? Keep changing around his dosage, screwing with his brain and chemicals?

_Fuck it_, he thought as Blaine ran a hand down his back as they sat down at the breakfast table, surrounded by a surprisingly quiet group of Warblers, _Doing anything would just be too much effort._

After Chemistry, Kurt walked absently with Blaine, Jeff, and David, making their way somewhere or other. He didn't quite remember. He was brought out of his thoughts by a shaky sigh and he turned to see his blonde neighbor with his tongue out, poking his lip ring the way he did when he was nervous. His eyebrows were knitted together and he seemed about as out of it as Kurt felt.

"Jeff…"

The boy didn't respond, and the other two walking with them took notice. David raised an eyebrow.

"Jeff…? Man, are you okay?"

At this, the blonde turned his eyes towards them, but not without subtly flicking them in the direction they had just come from. "Y-yeah…" He didn't sound very convincing, and the three boys with him gave him looks that said they didn't buy it. Jeff sighed. "I just really hate that class."

Blaine and David nodded slowly, not entirely sure what to say to such a comment. Kurt, though, blinked and thought back to his lab partner's recent returned tests, and remembered him failing a couple. Jeff was doing poorly in Chemistry. While he sometimes had made mistakes during experiments or forgotten the atomic mass of an element occasionally, he tended to get A's and B's in science.

Kurt trained his eyes on the blonde boy as they came to the wall of Arts, searching his face that had returned to its worried expression.

That was odd.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Duval," Ms. Webber's voice was calm and content as she scribbled a last note on a boy that just spoken. She looked up at the dark-haired Warbler. "Anything else you'd like to talk about today? You seem excited about something," she noticed his jittery form.<p>

Nick stopped the movement that was his leg jiggling and shaking his entire body, and gave her a look of confusion. "Hmmm?" A few boys laughed and Jeff half-smiled at him fondly from the seat beside him.

"He's not excited about anything," Kurt sighed dully, seemingly bored. "His antibiotics for his chlamydia are drying out his _genitals_ and his STD-infected body can't handle the itch," he spat out and rolled his eyes, slouching down in his seat and sighing again, this time letting his eyes shut.

The boys in the room all fell silent and shifted slightly uncomfortably at the apparent attitude. Blaine put a hand on Kurt's thigh and moved it up and down in a soothing manner. He looked up to their counselor pointedly, jerking his head in the direction of his dreary boyfriend, his eyes narrowing, thinking back to her saying she hadn't seen any signs.

She nodded and flipped her clipboard pages to Kurt's sheet. "Mr. Hummel…" When he didn't respond, she sighed. "Kurt."

"What?" His voice sounded forced and tired, and he opened his eyes slowly.

"How are you feeling? You've been missing classes…"

"And group and meals," Blaine breathed quickly at the woman, irritated. Kurt snapped his head in his boyfriend's direction and narrowed his eyes at him, and moved to shrug his hand from his leg, crossing his own arms defiantly.

"Have you been having side effects of the medication change?" Ms. Webber cut back in, looking at the pale boy expectantly.

Kurt blinked a couple of times, letting his eyes find the floor. "… I don't know…" He felt Blaine tense up, and the silence in the room was difficult to breathe through. "No."

She watched his face intently, seeing nothing there. "You're sure? Your fatigue might have been signs of—"

"No. I was just tired."

"Have you had mood swings? Thoughts or actions of suicide—?"

"No! …I'm fine… I'd know if something was off."

The woman nodded, but she did notice he seemed irritated more than he usually would allow himself to be. "Well… Alright, if that's all and no one else—"

"No, I want to share again today," Blaine interrupted her, announcing with a loud voice and a hand-raise, his eyebrows up.

Ms. Webber nodded slowly and gestured a sweeping hand to him. "Alright."

He blinked a few times and took a breath, shifting his body to be more faced towards his boyfriend. "I…am worried about Kurt." The pale boy just stared at him, no anger or surprise on his face, just a blank expression. "He – _You_," he spoke to Kurt now, "You've been acting differently… And you don't think it's your meds, but I just, I _know_ it has to be…"

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows and sighed. "Blaine… I _just_ said that I'm doing fine with—"

"You're fucking lying," the curly-haired boy argued, his voice calm but stern. Kurt was taken aback by this, then his face morphed into a look of anger.

"I'm not _lying_, Blaine! I know myself, and I know—"

"There's more stuff going on than just him being tired," Blaine cut Kurt off, turning to say this to Ms. Webber. "Did you know that? Huh? He's been – moody. He's been getting stomachaches and – and stuff. We…" He looked at an angry Kurt before returning his gaze to the woman, lowering his voice slightly. "There's been _other_ issues…"

"What are you talking ab—?" Kurt tried.

"_Sexual _issues—"

"_Blaine_!" Kurt screeched, smacking his boyfriend's shoulder hard.

"Kurt, is this true?" Ms. Webber asked tentatively, her eyes darting between the two boys.

The pale boy sighed and covered his face with hands, groaning, "Oh my _god_…"

"A few times, he hasn't been able to…get it up… And it's like, sometimes even after forever, he won't…you know—"

"Blaine. I am going. To kill you."

"Mr. Hummel, you know we take threats of violence very seriously at Dalton… And if these are issues you're experiencing, you need to tell someone—"

"It's _my_ life! It's _my_ sex life! I can't believe you're doing this!" He growled the last part at Blaine, who looked slightly apologetic, but still determined.

"Babe, look, I googled the side effects of your meds, and those things are on the list. It's why it's happened a few times, and—"

"Thanks for telling _everyone_ that I'm…not…_competent—_!_" _

"No, Kurt, you _are_," Blaine hesitated and turned to look at the other boys in the room, "He _is_, you're just… You need to fix your medication—"

"I can't believe this. I can't believe you, Blaine," Kurt said quietly, his voice trembling as he stood up and stormed from the room, abandoning his shoulder bag and blazer near the chair he had been sitting in.

The complete, eerie silence that had been suffocating the room was broken with the sound of bags being packed and boys putting on blazers as they made their way out of the room calmly, leaving Blaine sitting in his chair speechless, their counselor the only other one in his company as the room emptied.

"Blaine…"

"No, I just… I shouldn't have said it in front of everyone… I'm a fucking idiot." She came to sit down beside the curly-haired boy, and watched him closely.

"Those things you said. Are those true?"

Blaine felt almost offended by the question. "Uh, _yeah_. I wouldn't lie about that… I'm just… I'm _so _worried about him," he sighed, and his voice suddenly broke on the last word and he felt himself starting to tear up. He considered attempting to blink away the tears, but let himself go instead.

His body fell forward and he let his head rest between his knees and cried.

The counselor simply sat beside Blaine and let him exhaust himself with tears for a couple minutes until his breathing returned to its even rhythm. "He's good for you, isn't he?"

Blaine let out a few remaining shaky breaths and raised his head, digging into his eyes with the heel of his hands, then faced Ms. Webber with red eyes. "…What do you mean?"

"I've never seen you like this before… Blaine, when you first came to Dalton, you put up the strongest wall I've _ever_ seen. You fought anyone that came within ten feet of you, you hardly said anything that wasn't sarcastic or rude, and you… Once you came out to everyone, you slept around with anyone that would be available, not to mention your ongoing struggle with heroin." Blaine looked shocked at this, and she tilted her head. "There were times when I was aware of your using. To be honest, with the way the security and guest system is set up here, there wasn't much I would be able to do. I know you're clean now. I can tell."

Blaine took in a shuddering breath and nodded slowly, one of his hands going up to his chest to run over the permanent ink there. "Kurt. He – Kurt helped me through the whole thing. I went through withdrawal and… He was there for me during all the shit…"

"I have to say… I've never seen you so…_vulnerable_, Blaine. You've been letting yourself be so real with everyone—" Blaine let out a noise that interrupted her, something between a grunt and a scoff. "It's a _good_ thing, Blaine. I think he reminds you that you're allowed to be yourself with people… That you don't need your _wall_. You let your wall down with him and look what happened…"

"…I fell in love."

Ms. Webber hadn't been looking exactly for an answer, as it was more of a rhetorical statement, but she raised her eyebrows at this, slightly taken aback. "Love?"

Blaine blinked a few times, realizing exactly what he'd said, but nodded very slowly regardless, feeling only slightly defensive to protect his pride, but letting it go. "Y-yeah… We… He loves me, too… We just sort of… It just _happened_. I don't even know when we got so close… I feel like my whole life has changed since he came here… I feel like I honestly _forget_ I'm supposed to…try to act different, and put on a strong face. I just go through a whole day and then at night, when I'm lying in bed, I think back and realize I hadn't _thought_ before talking or doing and didn't stop myself from saying things that I wanted to just because I was afraid I was gonna be…judged, or beat up, or whatever… I just let myself…_be_," he made a face at his own words, but blinked and looked up to the woman, narrowing his eyes as though silently asking her if that made sense. "I just feel like I'm different. And it's because of him. And I can't… I _can't_ fucking lose him."

"You won't, Blaine. I know you're very close to him and worried, but you have to realize that it's not the end, here. You're right, he has been acting differently, and today's session alerted me to some things he hadn't been being honest about…"

The curly-haired boy sat up straight in his chair, giving her a look somewhere between hope and surprise. "So, you're doing something?"

At her apparent hesitation, he sighed. "Blaine, I can't simply say I'll change his medication. It's not my job. I'll recommend a session with his private psychiatrist to determine if a change is necessary."

Blaine slumped down into his seat in relief, letting out a long sigh. "Thank fucking god… So he'll be fine?"

Once again, Ms. Webber looked hesitant before speaking, and Blaine was impatient in hearing her response. "He's going to have to be honest about what he says to the other therapist… If he _says_ he's fine, and doesn't behave in a way that implies otherwise, she'll deduce him as _fine_…"

"B-but, what about your recommendation?"

"It's _only_ a recommendation. I'll tell Mrs. Parson what I know, but it's her job to come to a conclusion. I'll do what I can do, but like I said before, he has to tell the truth." The woman sighed and crossed her arms over her chest, first resting her clipboard on her folded legs, blinking a few times behind her glasses.

Blaine seemed irritated at this. "But what if he _lies_? Isn't it _your_ job to take care of him? To see if he needs it, not to _ask _him!"

"Blaine, calm down. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow during group and after if I still need to, but you two are… You two are closer. If you talk to him, it might be more effective than if I do."

The curly-haired boy furrowed his eyebrows and brought a hand up to wipe his face, biting his lip absently. "I've tried, but… I mean, he's worth it, so I'll try to talk to him later today… Maybe do some _convincing_," he rolled his eyes, then stilled, realizing how that came out.

Ms. Webber cleared her throat, averting her eyes and looking at the clipboard in front of her.

"I didn't mean… I don't… You know… We don't have sex," he decided to tell her slowly, watching her face for her reaction, which was mildly surprised.

"You don't…"

He shook his head back and forth, then opened his mouth but hesitated before he spoke. "No…" He drew the word out slowly, thinking before speaking. "I know, it's weird, right? Because we've been together for, like, three months and I used to sleep with guys all the time… It's… After everything that happened with the rape and… I didn't want to push him. I wouldn't do that," he paused, closing his eyes. "And me, too. I never got forced like he did… But I never _did it_ in a relationship before… And I realized it doesn't even matter. I like being close with him like that, but when we're not, we do other things, too, which is really awesome… Just hanging out and laying together… Does that make sense?"

"Yes, of course…" The woman smiled almost wryly. "It's called being in love…"

Blaine let himself smile at this, a swell of emotion suddenly taking over him. A swell of remorse for embarrassing Kurt. And a well of longing for everything to be okay with Kurt. "I can't believe some of the things I say and feel sometimes. It's kind of weird because I feel kind of…like an emotional bitch… But also I like it, because I feel like I'm finally getting older and understanding the stuff that other people mean when they talk about love and life and connecting with people… I don't think very many people my age feel this kind of stuff… I doubt Trent and Thad and those guys would get what me and Kurt have… I just feel different."

The dark-haired woman sighed and smiled, tilting her head and clasping her hands together in her lap. "I can _tell_ you're different…"

Waiting for elaboration but getting none, Blaine raised his pierced eyebrow. "How?"

"I don't think you've ever talked to me for five minutes before this past week without having to. I'm proud of you, Mr. Anderson."

* * *

><p>"I know you're out there," Kurt grumbled through a sigh, closing his eyes, "I can hear you shuffling around and you keep grabbing the doorknob and letting go."<p>

Blaine raised an eyebrow and eyed the wood in front of him. "Are you right up against the door?"

"Yeah…"

The curly-haired boy blinked. "I… Can I come in?" There was silence. "Kurt, can I just please come in…? I'm _sorry_… I…" He sighed when there was still no response. "I just want to see you… Don't shut me out, babe."

A noise of shuffling against the door sounded, and Blaine took that as a sign to open it. When he did, Kurt was standing a few feet from the door, his expression tight and pained, his arms crossed over his chest. Blaine's heart fell when he saw his boyfriend's eyes were red, a clear sign that he had been crying. And Thad wasn't in the room, so he had been alone.

"C'mere," Blaine murmured sadly, shaking his head, not even caring that they were supposed to be fighting, or Kurt was supposed to be mad, or _whatever_. He tried to stop the shaking of his lip as he moved forward with his arms out, going to embrace the pale boy.

"Blaine," Kurt said warningly, his voice tinted with slight anger and hurt, and he made the slightest movement to back away, but not really. Because he let Blaine hold him, because he really wasn't that mad, and he melted into the warmth of his boyfriend, and as soon as the touch was initiated, he crumpled into the curly-haired boy's neck, tears forming, his voice trembling, "B-_Blaine_…"

"I'm sorry—"

"I know…"

Blaine felt himself choking up and nuzzled his nose to his boyfriend's ear, breathing in shakily. "I-I _really_, Kurt, I'm – I didn't mean to—"

"I know, Blaine. I… I'm sorry, too…"

Blaine sucked in one last quavering breath and pulled back slightly, letting out a shaky sigh, and nudged his boyfriend slightly. "Let's… Let's sit on the bed."

"Okay."

They did, or more so laid down, and faced each other, neither entirely sure what was happening between each other.

Blaine knew what he wanted to say. But he didn't know how.

"Kurt," he started slowly, and the look on his boyfriend's face made him know that he understood this conversation might be difficult. "I want you to… You _need_ to talk to someone…"

Kurt averted his gaze and worried his lip between his teeth and Blaine tilted his chin up to catch his eyes. "I… I know, Blaine."

Blaine's eyes closed with relief for a moment and he opened them again with the slightest smile on his face. "Good… Good, so… You'll tell someone…? You'll do something to fix this?"

Kurt blinked a few times, and nodded very slowly, seemingly thinking hard about something. "I'm scared," he finally confessed softly, his eyebrows knitting together. "They keep changing stuff with the pills and what if it doesn't work? Can't I just…stop taking them?"

Blaine started shaking his head halfway through his last sentence, his face determined. "Kurt, no. You – you _know_ it doesn't work that way," he reached a hand out and desperately gripped the slight boy's hip, rubbing a small circle where his shirt lifted to expose skin. "I can't let anything happen to you…"

Kurt inhaled softly and nodded, then let his glasz eyes bore into Blaine's and leaned forward to connect their lips, letting out a soft hum at the electricity. At least he still felt love when he kissed Blaine. That hadn't died. Yet.

He let out a needy whine and dug a hand into his boyfriend's curls, relishing in how it seemed to be the only thing that made him feel anymore. He lazily rolled on top of Blaine, both of them letting out soft, breathy sighs as they kissed languidly, hands moving around in soft touches, nothing more than hot fingers tracing over backs and arms and waists. Nothing more.

"I love you," Kurt whimpered, burying his face in Blaine's neck when he pulled away from the kiss, his hot breath making the hair stand up there.

Blaine ran his hands over his boyfriend's hair softly, panting quietly and looking at the boy the best he could from the angle. "I love you, too…"

Kurt nodded his head and dug his hot face closer into Blaine's skin, his breathing coming out shaky. The curly-haired boy simply continued stroking his hair, every once in a while tangling and curling a piece around his finger, and letting the day pass by. After what felt like a long time, Blaine felt the distinctive trembling shoulders and could feel the warm tears on the skin of his neck.

"…What's wrong?" he asked hesitantly, trying to think over what had happened, and if anything had suddenly gone wrong. But he got no response. "Kurt…"

"Nothing," the pale boy sniffled, pulling away from his boyfriend's neck and sitting up to face forward.

"Kurt—"

"Really… I'm just… I just feel like shit," he stated bluntly, looking to Blaine with sad but serious eyes. "Nothing's even wrong, I just feel…sad. It's been like this…"

Blaine scanned Kurt's face and let out a soft breath, leaning toward him to place a chaste, smoky kiss on his lips, then pulled away to see his eyes. "It'll get better… _You'll_ get better. You'll talk to them and they'll fix it and you'll get better…" The pale boy didn't react to this, but simply stared ahead, his face still contorted in some kind of pain and worry. "Babe… _Promise_ me you'll talk to them…"

Kurt nodded slowly, and squeezed his eyes shut, a last stray tear dripping from an eye, and let out a shaky, "Okay."

* * *

><p>"<em>I've got a fever of a hundred and three<em>," Jeff sang – mumbled – as he stepped into his boxers after he dried off from the shower. He ran a towel over his hair and hummed quietly under his breath. As he went to brush his teeth, he caught sight of the clock hanging above the mirror.

_7:14_

"Nick!" The blonde squeezed toothpaste onto his brush and began scrubbing his teeth. With still no response a few moments later, he spit some of the foam from his mouth and checked the time. "_Nick_! It's 7:15! You better get up, you need to shower still!"

A few seconds, and then—

A loud grumble could be heard along with some ruffling of bed sheets and—

_Crash!_

"Shit!"

The dark-haired boy stumbled into the bathroom and began stripping off his shirt and socks and boxers hastily, making his way to the shower and yanking the knobs of the faucet. Jeff watched absently from the reflection of the mirror, continuing to brush his teeth.

They only had one bathroom. And they both needed to get ready in the morning. They often changed and showered in front of each other due to this. After all, they'd been best friends since they were seven when Nick told Jeff his watercolor painting of Saturn for the solar system project looked good. So seeing each other naked wasn't a big deal.

Nick sighed loudly, and Jeff blinked, coming out of his daze and glanced into the mirror again, seeing Nick's bare ass in the reflection, the running water of the shower going unused, and turned around after spitting the toothpaste from his mouth. "What?"

Nick made to move, then hesitated, but let out another sigh. "Nothing, it's just… Does this still look weird to you?" He turned around to face him, gesturing to his genitals, and Jeff whipped around, his face immediately flooded red.

"Nick!"

The dark-haired boy raised an eyebrow and flinched back at the loud shriek, feeling embarrassed. "W-what? It's just – It's all red and weird still! I don't know if the pills are working!"

"For fuck's sake, Nick! Just – shower! We're gonna be late!" The blonde let his face calm down from the blush and grabbed a comb from a drawer, bringing it up to pull through his hair. Nick rolled his eyes and stepped into the spray, first sending a quick glance behind himself at his roommate.

A few minutes passed, and Jeff began rummaging through the counter's contents to find shaving cream, and began applying it to his face.

"Jeff?" Nick's voice sounded from the shower, slightly muffled by the water flow and curtains. "You still in here?"

The blonde sighed, spreading the gel around his face, turning it into foam with the motion. "Yeah?"

A bit of silence where the sound of the shower was the only thing audible passed.

"Are we weird?"

Jeff raised an eyebrow at his own reflection and paused in his shaving gel application, letting out a low, humorless laugh. "Are you kidding me…? We're car-jacking teenagers that sing in an a cappella boys' choir… _Yes_." He rolled his eyes, wondering exactly where the question came from.

Nick yanked open the shower curtain, and Jeff turned around at the sound, and froze, surprised by the intense look of serious worry on his face. No one spoke for a moment. "No… I mean… You and me… Are _we_ weird? Since… Well, I mean, we…_kissed_. Are…things weird between us…?"

Jeff bristled at this and inhaled sharply. "Are you—? You're just saying this because I won't look at your _dick_, aren't you?"

Nick looked embarrassed and tensed, but nodded. "_Yes_. Yes, I am… You _never_ cared about us being naked in front of each other before! You wouldn't have given a fuck if I asked you, and now you're all—! Now you're acting all weird! I'm not _gay_, you know! I don't want to jump your bones, or something, I just want your help!" Jeff just stood, shaving cream partially dripping from his face, time running out before class, brown eyes wide as he gave his roommate a confused look, tinted with hurt. "We were _drunk_, Jeff… It happens. And you kissed _me_, first, anyway," Nick mumbled the last part and turned sharply back into the shower. "Whatever, okay? I'll fucking go back to the nurse if you're too freaked out to look at me, or something."

Jeff felt his throat tightening up, the grumbled voice of his roommate not disguising the dark-haired boy's hurt. He could tell. He knew when Nick was sad and hurt and embarrassed. Because they had been best friends since they were seven.

_Just say it_, Jeff clamped his eyes shut, willing the tears not to fall. _Just __say__ it. _

He wiped off the wasted shaving cream with a towel and trembling hands, the tears in his eyes making his vision blurred and his eyelashes heavy and dotted with tiny beads of wetness.

He left the bathroom.

Not today.

* * *

><p>"Burt?"<p>

The man hummed absently in response, not taking his eyes away from the program he was watching.

Finn blinked at the lack of reaction and stepped forward, near the television to get his attention. "Burt, I need to talk to you about something."

This time, the older man seemed surprised at the request, but clicked the T.V. off, readjusting on the couch and giving the tall teen a genuine look of interest. "Alright, I'm all ears. What's up, kid?"

Finn seemed conflicted for a moment before awkwardly scratching his neck and moving to sit on the couch beside his stepfather. "It's Kurt… His _boyfriend_ called me, and was freaking out and saying Kurt isn't doing good—"

"Whoa, whoa, is he okay? I didn't hear anything from that school of his or anything," Burt sat up and looked intently at Finn, who bristled under the attention.

"Yeah, he's – I mean, I _guess_ he's okay. It's about his medication and stuff. Blaine said he's been having some weird reactions to it, like he's been really depressed and stuff and doesn't talk that much. Since he started taking more, I guess? He tried talking to him and to the school, but they didn't do anything and he's worried about him."

Burt nodded slowly, and took off the cap he was wearing to run a hand over his head, blinking thoughtfully. "I'll call the school tomorrow morning. See if they can get him back on the other amount or if we need to do something… You know, I… I was _worried_ changing up his meds like that when I wasn't around to see if he was acting different, but they said they'd keep an eye on him… Guess they don't do as good a job as they think…"

Finn just sort of stared at the man like he did when he wasn't really sure what to say, but ended up just giving the slightest of awkward smiles and nodding. "Yeah, I guess…"

The man leaned back into the couch, still looking contemplative. "So… His boyfriend, huh? Seems like he's doing good under the job title if he's been watching after Kurt…"

The teen seemed sort of surprised at the topic change, but nodded. "Oh, he – Yeah. Yeah, he's real cool. Blaine's a good guy… I think it's good Kurt has him there."

Burt grunted quietly, taking a sip of his drink that had been on the end table. "Yeah, maybe… I think I need to see this kid again… When he's not sucking down smoke or fresh off hard drugs."

* * *

><p>"Hello, Dalton front office. How may I help you?"<p>

The man sighed, and Carole pressed a reassuring hand to his back as he clutched the phone in his hand. "It's regarding my son. I've…become aware that there are some problems with his medication and I want to know who to talk to about this."

"Hold on one moment, sir," there was some keyboard clicking, "What is your son's last name?"

"Hummel."

More clicking.

"Kurt?"

"Yes. Kurt Hummel."

"Alright, well, is this a follow-up call resulting from a notification from his psychiatrist? Were you informed of these problems from our faculty?"

Burt sighed again, annoyed that he couldn't just press a magic button and fix this whole damn problem. "I – no. My stepson actually talked to my son's boyfriend there and was told that he was having bad reactions to his medication change. I wanted to make sure something was being done about this…"

"Son's boyfriend… Alright," she repeated his words, not in a judging tone, but more in a way that was simply repeating, contemplative, considering the best option. "Well, from what I have on the records in front of me, there aren't any scheduled appointments for him to meet with his psychiatrist, so one most likely hasn't been made… Would you like me to connect you to his personal or group therapist?"

"…Uh, yeah, okay."

"Alright… The students only meet with their personal therapists occasionally… Natalie Webber, his group therapist, would be more likely to have more information on his condition. I'll connect you to her line, alright Mr. Hummel?"

"Yes. Thank you," Burt turned to his wife as the connection was being made, and reached out with his other hand to grab one of hers, squeezing it tight.

"Hello?"

"Is this Natalie Webber?"

There was a slight sound of shifting on the other line and then speaking. "Yes it is. Is there something I can help you with today?"

"Yes… This is Burt Hummel. I'm Kurt's father."

"Oh, of course… This is interesting; I was just going to contact you later today after the group therapy meeting with your son."

"Is he okay? I mean, I was told about the problems he's been having with his meds and I wanted to make sure something was being done…"

She sighed on the other line. "Yes, Mr. Hummel—"

"Call me Burt."

"Burt, I was going to have a meeting with Kurt after our group session and set up a meeting with his psychiatrist. Now… In order for Kurt's dosage to be fixed, he must give reason that it needs to be."

"Meaning…?"

"He needs to talk to his on-campus psychiatrist about the side effects he's been having, and she'll take a look at how he's acting and feeling. Of course, you always have the ability to override the decisions made by his doctor, but because you haven't been around to observe his behavior, I wouldn't suggest making a blind decision…"

"But if other people are seeing that he needs a change, he's psychiatrist will, right?"

There was a brief moment of silence and slight crackling on the line from the connection. "I'm sure that will be the case… If you don't mind me asking, was it a student that informed you of this behavioral change?"

"…Yes, it was a boy that goes to school with Kurt."

"Blaine Anderson?"

The man paused, blinking a few times. "Yes. Yes, it was Blaine… How did you know?"

"…He came to me as well to discuss your son. Together with him and my own observations, I decided to talk to him and recommend a change with his psychiatrist…" Ms. Webber paused. "Your son and Blaine Anderson are very close, Burt… With so many students and problems around Dalton, situations can fall through the cracks without getting noticed… With Kurt's condition and history, close friendships are a good thing to have…"

"They're… You know they're in more than just a _close friendship_…" Burt smiled softly despite himself, and he could tell that the woman he was talking to was smart. She had to know about the two boys.

"Yes…" The slight smile could be heard in her voice. "I've become aware…"

There was a short pause in the conversation, but Burt picked back up on the topic. "Now, what exactly will the other doctor be doing with his meds? I have to consent to all that, right?"

"Yes. Yes, of course. I was going to contact you later today, because Kurt is a minor, he still needs parental consent to be appointed to his psychiatrist for concerns other than prescription refills… Can I assume then that you consent to me recommending a meeting?"

"Absolutely."

There was some sound of scribbling on paper as she spoke. "Perfect. And of course you will be notified if or when there are any changes made with his prescription to consent to those as well… Well, if there's nothing else to the matter—"

"There's one more thing… I…" Burt paused, taking a glance at Carole, who was sitting beside him now at the kitchen table, mug in hand, giving him a reassuring smile. "When we were figuring out my son's medication before he was…at Dalton… There was a bad trial period of quite a few ones that didn't work… He…" The man's throat closed up and he found himself unable to speak.

Luckily, Ms. Webber seemed to understand his train of thought. "Yes… I have on his record that he attempted twice and was admitted to the hospital for one instance."

Burt nodded, even though she couldn't see him. "Yes… Until everything's worked out and…even after… Just when things aren't back to being good yet…" He paused, feeling Carole's hand on his. "Does Dalton have some kind of suicide watch program he can be set up in?"

There was a long silence, and both sides of the line were breathing quietly, until Ms. Webber came to her thoughts. "Of course. We have an excellent support system we can set up for him until he's in a stable condition."

"…Thank you. So much… For everything you do for him."

"It's no trouble, Burt. It's my job and I find Kurt to be a great kid… I'll be in touch."

"Thanks again."

"Goodbye."

* * *

><p>It wasn't something he did often.<p>

He really had only done it a few times.

Kurt sighed as he sat on the edge of his bathtub, post-shower, turning his shaving razor over in his hands.

It was an odd thing. And Kurt was completely aware of what it all meant. Maybe that was the problem.

He snapped the head off of the disposable razor and tossed the handle into the trashcan. Taking his roommate's lighter, he made a flame and held the top of the item over it, watching slowly as the plastic melted.

It was as though he _knew_ that doing this would result in bad things and wanted to do it anyway, or maybe even for that reason.

The plastic burning made his nose itch, and he bent the now-pliable material until a fire-hot blade dropped onto the floor from the mangled tool.

Kurt felt sick. He was so far gone in his own head that he felt like he needed to be further. He felt some kind of odd satisfaction in knowing he was getting himself into a sick, twisted downward spiral, because it almost felt more right in his current state to be distancing himself.

Picking up the blade, he blinked a few times, holding his breath as he pressed it so lightly into the thin skin near the crease of his elbow, clamping his eyes shut as he _heard_ and _felt_ the skin split, his pulse quickening as his body reacted to the harm.

He dropped the blade to the floor, opening his eyes and holding his arm to his face, inspecting the wound as though it was natural, and not self-induced, and watched the tiny red beads grew. The blood on his wet skin spread, finding the creases and natural grooves of his pale arm, seeping and watering down to a light pinkish clear tint.

He remembered the first time he had done it.

And it was accidental and disgusting as he had dropped a steak knife that had just barely grazed his skin as it had clattered to the floor. And on instinct, he had brought his skin to his mouth to suck the wound, trying to stop the blood, and something broke in him. And he had removed his arm from his lips slowly, picked up the knife and pressed it to his skin again, this time hissing in the horrible feeling and not doing it again for a good while.

And again this time, he snapped from his thoughts and looked to the thin line he had made, horizontal and shallow, and brought the skin to his lips, holding it there as he stood and made his way to the drawers in the bathroom, bringing out a small bandage and placing it over the wound, knowing that spot would be covered by his white uniform oxford, even when he had the sleeves rolled up.

It wasn't okay. He knew that much. But he felt this pull to do it.

To feel it.

And to see it.

And to _know _that he had done it.

To be able to press onto his arm through his shirt and the bandage and feel the familiar sting that came with a small cut, and getting intoxicated with the sick feeling it gave him, being somehow comforted in the idea that he was distancing himself.

Kurt wondered for a moment why he was distancing himself and why he needed and wanted to.

And he realized he was mad.

Mad at his father and psychiatrist for changing his medication _again_, and not really listening to him asking about getting off of it entirely.

At his therapists for not somehow fixing this whole thing better, like they were supposedly supposed to.

At the doctors or pharmacists or scientists, or whoever designed his medication, for not doing a better job, because he had been on this _new_, new dosage for two weeks now and felt less shitty, but more emotionless, aside from his outbursts.

Mad at his friends, for still being around him even though all he did was yell at them or cry or storm out of Warbler practice because for fuck's sake _do they really think I want to be singing right now?_

And he was so fucking mad at Blaine, for loving him and caring for him and holding and kissing and soothing him when all he did was sit there and hardly respond, and forget or _neglect_ saying 'I love you,' back, and for putting his god damn self in pain by staying around him while all he did was bring the curly-haired boy down and cause those little lines between his thick eyebrows to appear when he would turn away from his kisses or forget to talk during their conversations.

Kurt was mad at himself, for knowing it was all happening, and letting it all happen, and making it all happen.

* * *

><p>"And so… Then Nick literally jumped at him and bit him…on the shoulder. It was fucking hilarious," Blaine mumbled with a smile, running his fingers over Kurt's palm and looking into the boy's hand, slightly dazed. "Trent was freaking out… Nick's been acting sort of <em>more<em> insane lately—"

"Blaine—"

"I don't know if it has to do with whatever is happening with him and _Jeff_, or what—"

"Blaine."

The curly-haired boy looked up to his boyfriend from where they were both laying on the bed, finding Kurt's eyes gazing ahead, not even making eye contact. "What?"

"It's almost curfew." When Blaine continued to just stare at him, saying nothing, not understanding exactly, Kurt faced his boyfriend. "You should go."

Blaine tensed at this, blinking and beginning to sit up. "O-oh. Yeah. Okay…"

He thought to the days when they'd skip curfew to be together. Or sneak into the halls to make out.

Kurt seemed to see the hurt on the other boy's face, so he squeezed lightly on his hand, initiating Blaine to do the same, looking to him hopefully. "I don't want you to leave… I just don't want you to get caught again."

"I know, babe… It's fine," Blaine tried to smile, but it came out looking sort of tight and sad, and after standing up by the side of the bed, he leaned down to kiss Kurt softly on the lips, his heart fluttering when the pale boy actually sort of kissed back. "Um… I love you…"

Kurt just stared at the wall in front of him, looking distracted, and hummed in response, not saying anything.

Blaine nodded, and slowly made his way to the door, but as he went to grab the doorknob, he hesitated, reaching to grab it once more, but deciding finally to turn around, approaching Kurt's bed again. "Um, actually… Kurt?"

The pale boy looked up at this, looking at his boyfriend curiously, seeing he hadn't left yet. "Hmmm?"

"Maybe… I was just thinking…" He paused. "Maybe I could stay with you tonight… We can talk and I know you're back's been hurting, I could give you a massage…" When Kurt looked skeptical and was about to ask about curfew, Blaine continued. "Thad could go sleep in my room to be there during curfew check—"

"What about Thad?" the dark-haired boy spoke loudly and with attitude from his place in his bed, reading, not taking his eyes away from the words.

Blaine gave Kurt a quick look before going over to Thad's bed, causing him to look up from his reading. "Come on," was all Blaine said quietly, giving the boy a look that said so much. Everyone knew how Kurt was struggling, and Blaine staying with him would probably be a good idea.

After a couple seconds of thinking and focused eye contact, Thad rolled his eyes and hopped from his bed, sighing. "No – yeah, that's… Whatever. That's fine." He quickly stripped off his slacks and tugged on some sweatpants, grabbed his book, and began making his way to the door, looking to Kurt who just seemed surprised at the interaction and favor. "Later, Kurt. B."

A few moments passed, and Blaine stripped down to his boxers, climbing into bed with Kurt, who was already clad in sleep clothes. The pale boy still wore an expression of shock on his delicate features. "What was that?"

Blaine shrugged a little, nudging Kurt softly to flip over onto his stomach, and when he did began kneading his shoulders and neck. "It's a rare occurrence, but Thad can be a good person… He was just being nice."

Kurt let his eyes fall shut at the contact, his eyelashes fanning out over his cheeks, and hummed in response. "I guess… _Mmmm,_ little lower – _mmmm_…" Kurt let out a soft, breathy sigh, his mouth hanging open at the feeling of Blaine's fingers digging into the knots of his back muscles. "Feels so good…"

Blaine's lips twitched up fondly at the boy in front of him, happy that he was able to do something for Kurt that made him feel better, if only slightly. "Good… Here, take your shirt off, I can get at your back better," he moved away from Kurt and patted his thigh, indicating he sit up to strip from his shirt.

Kurt paused for a moment, but realized the marks he had probably wouldn't be noticed. "Uh, okay," he sat up and pulled the garment over his head, tossing it off the side of his bed quickly, immediately laying back down and tucking his arms up under his pillow above his head, sighing as Blaine's hot hands met his skin.

"Kurt?"

"…Hmmm?"

"Babe, how have you been feeling lately?" He moved to straddle Kurt's ass, massaging and pressing with his weight into his muscles. "It's been almost two weeks since you've been on that new stuff. Have you noticed anything?"

Kurt turned his head to the side so his boyfriend could hear him better, but closed his eyes. "Mmm, I don't know… It hasn't really been long enough to tell…"

Blaine's eyes shifted around thoughtfully, and he nodded, but paused in his movement on the pale boy's back. "Just…" He sort of leaned down to be closer to his face, though straddling him, "you know, tell me what's going on with you, okay? I don't want to be in the dark when it comes to all this stuff…"

Kurt nodded, feeling a tear drip by his cheek, and turned his head back forward as Blaine resumed his massage. "Um, Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"I… I love you, too."

The curly-haired boy just smiled and bent down to kiss the back of his pale neck softly, and continued the soft touches.

* * *

><p>"For number 22, did you guys get negative five over four?" Blaine pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, then glanced up to Wes and David, who were both scanning their own work.<p>

"…For 22? No, I got six," Wes said slowly, raising an eyebrow at Blaine.

"Same," David piped in, shrugging at Blaine, but stopping to look at him after a moment.

"What? Dammit," the curly-haired boy mumbled as he vigorously scrubbed his work with his eraser.

"B, are you okay? You're usually the one getting these all right…" David commented coolly, setting his work down and exchanging a quick look with his roommate.

"No – I know. I'm just… I'm really stressed out about Kurt and everything. He's been…_not_ getting better and I just…" He finished his sentence with a frustrated growl, shaking his head of curls and closing his eyes.

"He seems better to me," David shrugged, glancing at Wes when Blaine made no move to respond.

"Yeah – no, really, he seems less…depressed? He'll talk and stuff more than he was before, which is good, right…? He hasn't been missing class and stuff…" Wes added, watching Blaine as the boy opened his eyes and slowly ran a hand through his hair.

"But he's…so…gone. He's _detached_, and I feel like when he talks, it doesn't even mean anything and we…" The curly-haired boy trailed off slowly, an odd look of hurt coming onto his face.

"Sex stuff?" David guessed, and Blaine sighed and nodded. "Still…having problems with that?"

"It's nonexistent. Ever since I brought it up, he's been too embarrassed and… We've started to fool around a few times, but we usually end up just stopping or he gets upset or something… We don't even really… We don't even _make out_ anymore," Blaine brought a hand up to cover his eyes, afraid the feeling of crying would find its way to him.

A few moments of silence passed and the door opened to reveal Thad and Trent walking in, high-fiving about something or other that they must have been discussing earlier. Trent stopped short upon seeing Blaine's clearly upset form leaning up against David's bed on the floor beside the two residents of the room. Thad strolled over to Wes's bed and plopped down on it, opening his bag and pulling out a small novel, rifling through it before landing on a page that had been dog-eared.

"Have you guys started working on the quote thing yet?" he asked absently without dragging his eyes away from the pages.

"Uh… No," Wes supplied, with slight attitude, causing the dark-haired boy to look up from his book, eyes shifting to Blaine when the tension in the room became obvious to him.

"What's up with him?" he spoke to the two roommates and gestured to the curly-haired boy, raising an eyebrow.

"Thad," Blaine spoke, removing his hand from his face and turning to him, his eyes heavy with thought. "Can I…stay in your room?"

"Uh, you just stayed in my room last night… And _most_ of the nights for the past week."

"No, I mean like… I want to _stay_ in your room… For a while."

Thad sat up on the bed, raising an eyebrow at the curly-haired boy, placing his novel down. "Like…every night?"

"Yeah…"

Thad scoffed, leaning back down onto the pillows and reconnecting his eyes with the book he had. "No way. Fuck that, your roommate's a dick."

Blaine suddenly felt hot anger course through him and rose to his feet, moving over to Wes's bed to be closer to Thad. "And _your_ roommate is my fucking depressed boyfriend! Fucking – _Seriously_, Thad, I need to be with him!"

Thad sat speechless for just a moment, then carefully placed his book down again and spoke softly. "Okay… Okay, B. That's fine, whatever… I know you're trying to be there for him – which I think is…important – but I don't really know what you think it's gonna do to help… You need to be strong for him."

Blaine opened his mouth to reply, but ended up just letting out an aggravated sigh instead. "I fucking _know_ I need to be strong for him!" He let out a few panting breaths and finally sat down slowly on the edge of the bed Thad was on. "Regionals are this weekend, you know? _This_ weekend. And I figured if I could help him get to _some_ place of being at least _kind of fucking okay_, we might have a chance to win…"

"Who gives a fuck if we win?" Wes grumbled quietly, his eyes downcast. "Kurt's been all over the place lately… We need to get him," he made a gesture with his hand as he tried to think of the words, "back to normal… Back to…him being himself."

Blaine shook his head, his eyes falling shut. "No, I – _Of course_ I agree with that, but the Warblers and singing… It's _important._ It's important to us and our lives… It helps us feel closer with the guys in group and have…practically _normal _friendships with them… We haven't been this close to feeling like _normal guys_ since it was a class last year and…" The curly-haired boy swallowed down a breath that would have otherwise come out shaky. "It's important to Kurt. It's really damn important to him…even if he can't remember that right now."

"Bro, you're right," Trent shrugged, but nodded, "Kurt's been the one to always push us and make us sound awesome… The group is like his baby… We can't let it go to shit because he's not there to hold it up."

Everyone in the room let out subtle murmurs of agreement, but stopped as the door opened, and a distracted Kurt came walking in, hardly glancing at the occupants of the room before sitting down on David's bed and began rummaging through his bag.

Everyone exchanged glances and Blaine stood and switched beds to be next to the pale boy. "Hey… How're you doing today?"

Kurt didn't make eye contact as he responded softly, "Good."

His boyfriend could tell by the tone and manner in which he gave the answer that it was a lie. "You disappeared after French and didn't walk with us… What have you been up to?"

Kurt shrugged, pulling out the small notebook he had seemingly been looking for in his bag, and flipping it to a specific page. "I, uh, I just had to call my dad. He called me a while ago and I hadn't remembered to return the call," which was true, but he had also swiped a blade across his skin a good few times while he had the room to himself.

"Oh," Blaine nodded and began running his hand along his boyfriends upper arm, leaning in to kiss him on the side of the head.

"So, we were just talking about Regionals, Kurt," David told him, changing the subject slightly, "You know, it's this weekend."

The pause Kurt made in retrieving a pen from his bag told them all that no, he didn't _know_, or remember for that matter. "Yep, this weekend… Um… So, are things all worked out? I mean, I know I pretty much set up everything for _Sectionals_, but with all the medication stuff and the sessions, I've been sort of busy."

"No, it's fine. We got it all covered," David assured him, then glanced to Wes, who had actually finalized the schedule.

"Yeah, let's see," the Asian boy pulled out a couple stapled-together sheets of paper and scanned then, "Friday we leave after classes at 4:45… We get to the hotel at about…9:15 or so, depending on traffic and such… The competition itself on the 9th is supposed to start at 3:00, so I say we get there—"

"The 9th?" Kurt asked quietly, and the writing he had been doing in his notebook ceased entirely.

Wes shot a quick look to Blaine, who seemed as confused as he was. "Uh… Yeah. March 9th."

The pale boy placed his notebook and pen down on the bed, sucking in a deep breath, his eyes randomly searching the room, not for anything in particular, just in thought.

"Kurt—" Blaine tried, but was cut off by the boy.

"No, I just… Um…" He brought his hand up and covered his mouth, in some mix between shock and panic, and his eyes clamped shut. "Uh… Okay, okay," he hardly whispered to himself, sounding as though he was trying to calm himself down. His eyes opened then, and looked near to frightened, and he seemed to be trying to make a decision, his face contorting in pain. "I – fuck. Oh god," he leapt from the bed and darted to the bathroom, flinging the door behind him in an attempt to shut it, though failing as there was still a crack open, and the loud choking of him vomiting was obvious.

Blaine was up in a second after that, approaching the door. "Babe—"

"No, no, no, Blaine – please. Just…close the door… I don't anyone in here right now…"

Blaine hesitated as he reached for the doorknob. "I…"

"_Please_."

"Okay…" He pulled the door shut entirely, sighing and hearing the shuffling of movement from the inside the bathroom. "God dammit," he mumbled to himself, bringing a hand up to grip his head in frustration.

A few awkward, silence-filled moments passed and Trent announced that they should head to group, because it would be starting soon. As everyone began making their way near the exit, Blaine and Thad found themselves near the door of the bathroom.

"You go, Thad, I'll stay here until he comes out," Blaine insisted, gesturing towards the main door.

"Look, someone should really be in there with him…" The dark-haired boy asserted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"He doesn't want—"

"I know. But he _needs_ someone in there right now. He's on that suicide watch and I feel like right now would be a prime example of us being stupid enough to let him be alone," Thad spoke intently, his eyes serious as he spoke to his friend.

"You're right… I'll—"

"No, B, go to group. I'll go help him out… You're…his boyfriend, but I'm his roommate. I'm supposed to be looking out for him right now, too, yeah?"

Blaine smiled softly and patted Thad on the shoulder, nodding a little before making his way out of the room, hearing Thad opening the bathroom door, a quiet, 'Hey, Kurt, come on, sit up,' audible from the hallway.

Regionals day came and went.

And everyone noticed how off Kurt was the entire day of the competition, and how he seemed absolutely miserable.

Everyone also noticed that he sang with more passion and feel than he had in the past two months.

No one said anything.

They came in second.

* * *

><p>Blaine rinsed off his toothbrush and began unscrewing the little lids to his contact case, for a competition day was a rare exception that he wore them. He pulled each contact lens from his eye, rinsed them, and stored them in the case, then splashed some water onto his face.<p>

As his eyes were closed, he could have sworn he heard the padding of footsteps on the tile of the hotel room's bathroom floor. Opening one eye, he saw his boyfriend, clad in only boxers as well, standing in the open doorway with a small smile tugging at his lips. "Hey."

Blaine smiled in return, bringing a white, fluffy towel up to rub across his face. "Hey, baby. I thought you were sleeping…"

He felt arms enclose around his chest and removed the towel to see his boyfriend's face in the mirror behind him, his pale, smooth expanse contrasting against his own olive-toned skin. "I was…but Jeff sort of rolled into the middle and I didn't want to deal with it."

"Mmmm… I see," Blaine was having a hard time concentrating on what his boyfriend was saying, because he looked so beautiful. His hair was perfectly sleep-tousled and Blaine had to hold back the rambling stream of praises he had wanted to say for so long and had restrained himself from saying due to the busy events of the day. Instead: "You're perfect, you know…?"

Kurt dug his face into Blaine's neck from behind, his face heating up from the compliment. "Blaine…"

"You are… Never doubt that." The curly-haired boy smiled, but suddenly noticed a patch-Band-Aid on Kurt's left arm, in the crook of his elbow, hardly noticeable as it was skin-toned, but it was clearly there, and he had his right hand placed over it casually. "Kurt…" He trailed off, not sure entirely what he was going to say about this.

_Are you hurting yourself?_

_Please don't hurt yourself?_

_Why do you have a bandage on your arm?_

_Are you okay?_

But Kurt seemed to take the speaking of his name differently, and his grip tightened dramatically. "It was a year ago… Today," he breathed, hardly, his hold shaking just the slightest.

And it clicked.

Because Kurt's rape had been in March.

And it was March.

Kurt didn't cry, but Blaine held him just as tight either way.

* * *

><p>He couldn't tell if it was a good or a bad thing, but Kurt was getting used to feeling this way.<p>

Every morning, he'd drag himself out of bed and feel like shit and try to smile when he saw his friends, and feel a distant, longing sort of love when he saw his boyfriend. And when he'd get the chance, he'd go over the small cut he had on his left elbow a few good times, feeling the sting of the hot blade searing into the mark already open and raw.

And it was his life.

And it wasn't happy, but it was what it was. And Kurt wasn't planning on ending his life anytime soon, but hurting himself felt like some kind of natural progression in his downward spiral of existence, like it was a reassurance that it was happening next.

Since this realization, and since he'd been switched to _another_ – _a third-in-the-past-three-and-a-half-months_ – damn medication, he'd sorrowfully accepted his fate of being sad, and was able to put on some kind of smile every day, which was good. Was it fake? Maybe.

Maybe more resolved, accepting. Akin to someone with a terminal illness accepting their destiny to die, Kurt knew he'd never be happy. And with that knowing, he became indifferently content.

_Knock! knock! _

"Come in," Kurt called out from his bed, where he was almost-nostalgically reading Vogue, remembering when things like this made him so happy.

"Hey, Kurt," Jeff poked his blonde head in, a tight smile on his face, and he came all the way in, closing the door behind himself.

He seemed nervous.

"What's going on, Jeff?"

Another good thing about his acceptance was that it had more or less gotten most of his friends off his case. Every conversation wasn't about him anymore, which was strikingly beautiful in comparison to how it had been the past couple months.

The blonde hesitated before speaking, but looked upset, and took a careful seat on the edge of Kurt's bed and turned around to face him, sitting cross-legged.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Kurt remembered suddenly about Jeff's sickness problems, and how he had practically neglected them due to his issues he'd been having himself. He wondered if Jeff was finally going to admit to an eating disorder. "I just… I've been freaking out about this and I wanted to talk to _Nick _about it, but he's being… I just… I need to talk to you about this…" The blonde took a deep breath, and Kurt could see his lips trembling – trying not to cry. "But it's – it's really hard to t-talk about…"

"This is… It's about you being sick isn't it?" The look Jeff gave him in return was enough of an answer. "Look, it's okay. We'll get you through this, okay…? You… You have an eating disorder, Jeff, that's what this is—"

"No, dammit!" Jeff jumped up from the bed, throwing his arms up in exasperation. "I'm not fucking bulimic!"

Kurt was taken aback by this, and sat motionless on his bed for a few moments. "Jeff…"

"Fuck, Kurt… You're so smart, like, all of the time, you know? You always figure things out about people and talk to them and you can't freaking put this together…" The blonde sighed, turning to face Kurt with a desperate look on his face, searching the boy's glasz eyes, hoping maybe he'd understand at the last moment. "It's like the _one_ thing I _want_ you to figure out on your own and you don't. You just fucking don't… And _shit,_" he hissed out the curse and sunk hard onto Thad's bed, his hands coming up to shakily cover his face.

Kurt stood up, approaching the bed and trying to pull the boy's hands from his face. "_What _are you talking about—?"

"Mr. Connors!" Jeff flung Kurt's hands from his, bolting to stand up, tears flooding his eyes. "He _molested_ me!"

Kurt's mouth fell open. _Shit_, should he have seen the signs. _Fuck_.

"Oh – oh, god, _Jeff_—"

"That's why I've been getting sick and everything… I couldn't really sleep, I've been feeling sick and throwing up thinking about it… I just. Fuck," he crumpled down back onto Thad's bed and held his face. "I talked to you and I thought you'd get it but you _didn't_ and – oh _god_. It just feels so weird telling someone…" Jeff hoarsely whimpered out.

"What… What did he do to you?" Kurt sat down carefully on the bed beside him and held him tight, closing his arms around him.

"He just—" Jeff broke off with a harsh sob escaping his mouth, his shoulders jerking.

"Jeff…" Kurt got the boy's attention slightly, getting him to open his eyes and meet his gaze. "You said he… I mean, he _touched _you, right? He didn't…?" _rape you_.

Jeff was confused for a second as he let out heavy breaths, but then suddenly sucked in a quick one, shaking his head. "No, he didn't… He didn't do that."

Kurt sighed heavily in relief, his eyes falling shut for a second as he tightened his grip on the blonde boy. "Oh, _good_… I just… If you had…" The pale boy stopped his nonsense, and just sighed. "You're going to be okay…"

Jeff cried.

"You are… Is this… Is this why you've been so weird lately? And were drinking so much during Birthday Month?"

Jeff thought back to everything that happened. And how he drank so much.

He thought to Nick.

"Y-yeah…"

* * *

><p>It was April. It was early April, and things were blooming and rain was falling outside and Blaine was in love.<p>

And that hurt.

Because what did love mean when your boyfriend was a mess of medication and depression and instability?

He curled his arms around the pale boy, digging his nose into the soft cotton shirt he had on and inhaling deeply to get drunk in the purest source of _Kurt_. It was probably around 3 or 4 a.m., or _4:49_, according to Kurt's bedside clock, Blaine saw, and he curly-haired boy was having a hard time letting himself sleep. He didn't want to see his precious boy in pain and in this gray, complicated, dangerous limbo between okay and _not_ okay.

It was all very blurry and vague and he never felt like Kurt was completely, absolutely, 100% safe.

And that hurt.

The boy of his affections sighed in his sleep, twisting to face Blaine and their noses brushed together in such an intimate, delicate way that he almost wept. Kurt's eyes moved under his eyelids and Blaine wondered what he was dreaming of, and if it was wonderful or terrible.

The last question was answered, and Kurt let out a scared yelp, quiet but still obviously unpleasant, and Blaine subtly squeezed him in his hold, hoping to wake him gently. "Kurt."

"No! No, no, no, no, no—!"

"_Kurt_, come on, wake up," Blaine sat up and began lightly shaking the boy, but he continued to squirm and wiggle, occasionally letting out short, strangled noises.

Finally, the movement and sounds stopped, and Kurt began breathing very heavily, and finally his eyes fluttered open, confusion written all over his face. "Oh god," he breathed.

"It was a d—"

"I _know_, I know it was a dream, it was—" he let out a trembling breath. "It was my _fault_!"

"Kurt, no, it was a dream, it wasn't real," Blaine pulled his boyfriend up to a sitting position as well, tugging him against his chest and kissing the top of his head.

"No, Blaine, it – In the dream, I was… But… I'm doing this and it's because of me that everyone's all… I'm _hurting everyone_!" He insisted, speaking into Blaine's collarbone, hardly audible.

"Kurt… You're doing _what_?"

"Don't be mad."

"_Kurt_—"

"_Don't be mad_!"

"I won't! I won't be mad, I promise! Just… Tell me, please…"

Instead, Kurt pulled away from him and reached up to his elbow, hidden under the sleeve of his shirt, and ripped the bandage off, then proceeded to roll his sleeve up, almost cringing at the reaction he was sure to get from his boyfriend. "I'm – I'm _sorry_," he breathed.

"_Oh_…" Blaine's eyebrows pulled together in sadness and his mouth hung open as he took in the bruised and marred piece of arm that belonged to his boyfriend. There were a few shallow cuts, all relatively short and generally harmless looking… But one deep, puffy, red one stood out. It seemed to be cut over several times, raw and infected-looking. "Kurt…"

"I didn't—! I'm hurting myself and it's hurting everyone! I don't—! I don't want to hurt anyone… I can't _hurt_ you, Blaine… I'm sorry…"

Blaine looked once more at the arm and then moved to embrace his boyfriend tightly, eyes clamping shut. "Don't be sorry… I… It'll be okay… You can stop this…"

"I can't… I don't know how, it's become… It's a _problem_."

"We'll talk to someone. We'll fix this and we'll see what we can do about your meds, okay?"

"Oh, god, Blaine, they've changed it so many times—"

"That's the only reason this is happening, babe. You're not yourself… Once everything is back to normal, you'll feel… You won't need to do this anymore."

Kurt nodded subtly, his breathing slightly shaky. "O-okay…"

The curly-haired boy felt hot tears in his eyes, threatening to fall and cascade down his cheeks. "Okay."

* * *

><p>Blaine had a hard time sleeping at all that night, and so when Kurt woke up to go take a shower, he was still conscious. He knew his boyfriend was notorious for taking long showers, but after about 40 minutes had passed and the shower was <em>still<em> running, the sound of water spraying down and running to the drain still audbile, he started to get worried. He decided that even though they hadn't really done _anything_ sexual in the past… Well, too long, that he'd join the pale boy in the shower and they could at least wash each other.

He walked up to the bathroom door and knocked a few times, bouncing on his feet impatiently. Only when he received no response did his eyebrows pull together. He knocked again and opened the door, the shower still running. "Kurt?"

"W-what? Blaine I'm in the shower," Kurt's voice mumbled from within the spray and Blaine's racing heart started to slow.

"Oh… Sorry, I just… Can I join you? You've been in there a while… I need to shower, too, you know," he added teasingly, though the delay in response made him slightly suspicious.

"…Blaine… I know you probably miss all that, but I really don't think I'm able to do that still…"

"No, no, not—! I didn't mean sex, I just thought we could wash each other like we used to… It'd feel nice…" The curly-haired boy made his way slowly closer towards the shower.

"Babe… I… I love doing that, but not right now…"

Blaine felt disappointed. He didn't resent his boyfriend for it, because he knew it wasn't _really_ him talking, but it still stung. "Come on, I'll give you a massage?" With that, he gently tugged on the shower curtain, revealing a small gap into the shower. He had really only done it to get a better look at the boy as he spoke to him, but his eyebrows practically shot to his hairline when he saw the boy standing innocently in the spray, fresh, wet blood dripping down his arm, mixed with water, a small blade on the side of the tub.

"Oh _fuck_, Blaine – Don't hate me! I can't – I just _need _it!" He tried to wipe away the red and cover up his arm with his hand, but to no avail. The damage had been done, Blaine had seen.

The curly-haired boy took a long, deep breath and put on a strong face, deciding something.

"…I don't hate you… I… I _love you_, and that's why you're gonna get your ass out of the shower and into some clothes and we're gonna get that looked at and wrapped up. And you're gonna go talk to someone about this right fucking afterwards."

"Yeah," Kurt agreed breathlessly, nodding, turning the knobs of the shower off quickly and glancing down to his own arm, for the first time since starting back up, feeling ashamed. Which was probably healthy.

To feel ashamed about physically mutilating yourself.

He threw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, first loosely wrapping his wound in a bandage, but realizing (also for the first time) just how really, very infected it looked and how much deeper he had gone this time judging by the amount of blood. He supposed that's what happened when you cut yourself with the same old blade that came from a disposable razor.

Blaine wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder, leading him down towards the nurse's office, closer than the medical wing and appropriate for a smaller injury of this size. "I'm not mad at you, Kurt," Blaine repeated softly what he had promised the night before, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek after making sure no other students were around in the open grounds.

Within specific settings, they were public with their relationship, but not on the general campus.

"I know… But you should be," Kurt replied quietly, letting his eyes fall shut and leaning into Blaine slightly.

The curly-haired boy raised an eyebrow at this, glancing around again to make sure no one had really seen. "I… No, I _shouldn't_ be. I care about you and I'm _mad_ that the feeling that you need to do this exists. Nothing more…" Kurt leaned into him more. "Kurt, um, baby, do you wanna put a little space between us? We're still in… We're still out in the main campus… Kurt…?"

The pale boy had slowed his walking and was moving oddly on his feet, and Blaine saw him staring off into the distance. First following his gaze and finding nothing, Blaine turned back to Kurt, bringing his hand back to his shoulder where he had just removed it. "What's wrong?"

"I…" He looked down to his arm, and flinched back at the sight. "_Fuck_," was all he breathed out before collapsing to the ground, landing mostly on his back, as Blaine caught some of his fall.

"Kurt! Holy shit! Babe, come on!" He kneeled down, patting gentle taps to his boyfriend's pale cheek, trying to get him to respond. He shot a look down to the arm Kurt had been looking at and gasped, seeing some blood had seeped through not only the bandage, but through the hoodie's sleeve. "Jesus! Baby, come on!"

"What's that, Anderson? _What_ are you calling that faggot?"

And holy mother of fucking god. Renny Bright. _Now_?

Blaine growled and snapped his head up to the direction of the voice. The red-haired boy he knew would be standing there, indeed _was_ there, a look of disgust mixed with a smirk present on his face. "This _really_ is not the fucking time, you dick!" The curly-haired boy heard Kurt exhale loudly, and gave his attention back to him. "Babe, come on, wake up for me!"

"Are you shitting me, B? You're not calling him _pet names_ are you?" The redhead stalked closer to the two on the ground, folding his arms over his chest. "He your boyfriend or somethin'? I always knew you were a queer," he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Oh my _god_, Renny! Fucking _go_! Just – who gives a fuck if he is? Or I am? Drop it!" Blaine started to attempt to pick Kurt up, seeing he wasn't going to respond, but the angle was awkward.

The redhead scoffed in disbelief, taken aback by Blaine's comment. "Holy shit… You're _serious_? You're a fucking queer? I knew it! No wonder you protected that little fag back home back in the day!" Renny went to kick Blaine, shoving him with his foot so he lost the already weak hold he had on Kurt.

"For fuck's sake! You said you've leave him alone! He's needs medical attention, just _let this go_." Blaine stood and tried to pull Kurt up from this position, but felt a hand tug him back from his jacket and turned to face the redhead.

"I said I'd leave _him_ alone… Not your fucking queer ass, Anderson!"

He felt a sharp pain in his jaw, which was odd, considering punches were usually more of a hard, duller pain. But that was definitely a punch. Because he saw it, too.

And he felt the hard floor beneath him as he made contact with it. His eyes blurred for a good few moments, and his ears pulsed with his fast heartbeat, and the dulled, muffled sound of the nasally, annoying laughter of that fucking redheaded son of a bitch.

His vision cleared as his head became foggier. Blaine caught one last glimpse of his boyfriend lying beside him, his face paler than usual, his body weaker-looking than it should be.

His last, _delirious_ thought before he was consumed in darkness was the insult he had just used on Renny, calling him a _son of a bitch_. He remembered meeting Mrs. Bright once, and she seemed like a lovely lady…

And then there was black.

* * *

><p><strong>AN So, yeah. Sorry for so much really blah sad angst writing, but if you've ever known someone in a bad depression or been in one, they are VERY consuming and terrifying, especially when medleys of medications are involved. :(**


	14. Remember

**A/N EDIT! IMPORTANT! -**

**I wanted to HUGELY apologize about not posting a warning about the kind of treatment in this chapter.  
>I received a message from someone not being able to handle it and I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T DO THIS BEFORE<strong>

**Trigger warning: Talk of forced ECT treatment and depression**

**HOLY SNAP CRACKLE POP YOU GUYS. AN UPDATE BEFORE A MONTH HAS PASSED -_-;  
>So, pretty much THIS===== foxywinter (dot) deviantart (dot) com#/d4y03xr  
>YOU GUYS AND THE TATTOO AND PIERCING AND - ;_; so great! SO MUCH LOVE TO FW!<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

* * *

><p>"—him for the pain…?"<p>

"—course, we'll start him…"

Blaine groaned quietly in the back of his throat, hardly hearing murmurs of voices, clips of conversation, and was immediately struck with the dull hurt in his face, his entire mouth and jaw _aching_.

"—typical for these kinds of injuries…"

He heard a woman's voice, and someone else's voice, too muddled to make out.

"—recovering addict."

"Oh?"

Blaine forced his eyes open at this. They were talking about him.

He first noticed the two forms near him ceased conversation and paid attention to him, and as his vision cleared and focused, he saw…

Kurt.

He gave Blaine a half sort of smile and reached over from where he was sitting in a chair to squeeze his hand, mouthing 'hi' very softly. He turned back to the other person, who Blaine now realized was a nurse, or doctor of some kind.

"So, something milder than Vicodin that isn't narcotic-based would be best…" Kurt was telling her quietly, shooting a quick look in his boyfriend's direction that was somewhere between fond and apologetic.

"Right. I'll get you something then to help with the swelling and inflammation, which should bring the pain down" the nurse spoke now to Blaine, who blinked, a little dazed, but nodded nevertheless.

As she walked away, the curly-haired boy took in his surroundings. He was at the nurse's office, lying on a small cot with the paper lining, and Kurt was sitting beside him in a small plastic chair, looking at him with a concerned expression.

"How are you doing?" the pale boy suddenly asked, bringing Blaine back to his thoughts. He instinctively shrugged, and went to respond, but as he did so, he realized there was something in his mouth, and that his jaw felt very tight. Blaine sat up, slightly panicked, and brought his hand to his mouth to investigate. "Hey, hey, not so fast…" Kurt grabbed his hand before he could do anything. "…I forgot, you have gauze in your mouth, to stop the bleeding."

"B'ee'ing?" Blaine tried to talk, but ended up sounding ridiculous, not to mention cringing at the sore feeling of his jaw.

Kurt looked at him a little strangely then, a little sad, and nodded. "When…_Renny_ punched you, your lip and cheek clashed with your teeth and split them a little bit… And it sort of offset your jaw, but once the swelling and everything goes down, it should be fine," he added when Blaine looked at him with huge eyes. "Don't worry… Everything's fine… Not to mention someone saw that asshole punching you and they got him on level three now."

"Kur'," Blaine tried, but sat up more, sighing in frustration at the obstruction in his mouth and pulled the two huge, wadded up and bloody pieces of gauze from his mouth and placed them onto the small metal table beside his cot, making a face. And – oh.

Yeah, he could taste a lot of blood now.

"Kurt. What the fuck happened? You fainted, and I went down and…?" He made a gesture with his hands, asking for explanation.

The pale boy resumed the distant, sort of lost look in his eyes when his medication made him foggy. "I woke up a little after you got punched out and…the guy that had seen it was trying to get both of us up. I ended up getting up and helping him get you here…" Kurt just shrugged, obviously forcing some kind of smile, his eyes appearing distracted.

Blaine's eyebrows furrowed together and he threw his legs over the side of his cot, leaning forward to grab both of Kurt's hands, looking him over. "Are… Are you okay, Kurt?" He let his eyes fall to the thick bandages wrapping his boyfriend's left elbow and right hand, his eyebrows pulling together in worry. "Kurt—"

"No – yeah, I'm fine, babe," Kurt nodded shakily and twisted out of his grasp, sort of recoiling from the touch, wrapping his arms around himself protectively. When Blaine eyed the bandage on his hand, he sighed, "from the I.V… And the other one's for…well, you know."

"I.V.?"

"I was dehydrated… I guess," Kurt shrugged a little. "They just helped rehydrate me. It's not a big deal."

"Is that why you passed out?" Blaine asked hesitantly, trying to regain eye contact with his boyfriend.

"Um, no…" Kurt paused, blinking. "I… I've been taking a lot of Aspirin for headaches and stuff recently, so it's… It can make your blood thinner. It made me bleed more."

The curly-haired boy let out a breath, still just worried at the situation. "O-oh…"

"The dehydration probably didn't help, though…" Kurt added absently, and Blaine nodded, concerned at the casualness in which he was discussing the matter.

He supposed this was how Kurt felt when he was struggling with his addiction.

"Blaine, don't freak out, okay? I'm more worried about _you_, you were out for a while. They were worried you hit your head pretty hard when you went down…"

The nurse interrupted their conversation to administer some medication to Blaine, who struggled doing _anything_ that involved his mouth, and cringed as he put the pills past his lips. After she was gone, they sat in silence for a few moments, Blaine gripping Kurt's hand again, the pale boy allowing him to do so when he was having a hard time with the pills.

"Kurt… You still need to talk to someone about…that," he flicked his eyes to his boyfriend's arm.

"I did."

"_Oh_."

"I mean, they – the nurses dealing with my cuts – …_noticed_, and they contacted my personal therapist…and Ms. Webber…and…" Kurt trailed off, his eyes turning downcast.

"What?"

"They told Dad, too, and they're setting me set up in a 24/7 watch program. And changing my meds again…" Kurt struggled over the last part, his voice strained as though he was about to cry. "Because _that's _going to help…"

"Oh, Kurt—" Blaine went to reach for him, but the pale boy pushed away, this time tears very clearly evident in his eyes, and stood up.

"No, it's – What's the difference, anyway? One fucked up, _not-working_ medication to another. It doesn't do anything to change them…"

Blaine stood as well, ignoring the boy's standoffishness and en circling him in his arms, pulling him into his chest. "I love you, Kurt… And I don't care if you're having a hard time and not always acting like yourself, you're still _my Kurt_, and I just – I love everything about you…"

Kurt cried silently, heavy tears falling to the ground from his eyelashes, and he said nothing in response.

* * *

><p>"Hey…" Jeff trailed off in his greeting upon seeing his friend's face, spaced off, staring out of the window into the surprisingly sunny weather. Late April, so far, had been nice. Kurt hadn't really noticed. He turned to look to the blonde boy. "Do you…wanna start working on the thing…or…?" Jeff gestured weakly with the folder that contained their research paper requirements for Chemistry. The one they hadn't started that was due the next day, first period.<p>

The pale boy just stared forward, in the direction of Jeff, but maybe not at him. His eyes were hardly focused.

"Kurt."

He blinked now, coming back slightly. "Sorry…" Kurt opened his mouth as though to continue, maybe give an excuse or reason why he was so out of it, but falling short of something to say, so he just looked away, feeling dazed and a little embarrassed.

"Uh, it's fine, we don't have to work on it…now. We just – it's due tomorrow morning, so we need to get started pretty soon, you know?" Jeff had a hard time talking to Kurt, not even sure if anything he was saying got through the haze of medication and depression the pale boy had around him at all times. "Your…new meds not working well?"

At this, Kurt scoffed loudly, standing from his seat by the window, startling the blonde slightly. "None of them fucking do… I'm only on one for a few weeks and they change it again… I just…" He shook his head, trying to clear it. "I feel dead."

The blonde sighed, nodding. "I – I'm _sorry_, I wish there was something I—"

"You should tell Nick about what happened," Kurt decided suddenly, talking over Jeff but in a quiet voice.

"…What?"

"You really should. About what _happened_…with Mr. Connors," he added the last part when Jeff made no move to nod or acknowledge his statement.

"I know what you're talking about, but… Why? I mean, Nick's…_my best friend_, but what makes you think that I should tell him?"

Kurt moved across the room to sit on his bed, and grabbed a pillow to hug it. The energy in him could clearly be seen leaving his body, as his mood came and went. "I'm no help to you. I… We've talked about it a few times since you first told me, but… I don't feel like I'm doing enough to get you through this."

"Kurt, I'm not asking you to _get me through this_, I just wanted to talk to someone—"

"But you _need_ to get through this… Tell Nick. Or tell Ms. Webber or your personal therapist, I don't care… But I feel like if you're looking to me for anything, even just someone to talk to, I'm not gonna be able to give you that. I hardly can _do_ conversations anymore."

Jeff didn't really say anything to that, just sat down on Thad's bed, across from Kurt, his mind spinning. Just the _suggestion_ of telling someone else made him feel sick. Trying to picture Nick's face when he said the words.

_I was molested._

And what if Nick got angry at the teacher who did this? What would he do then? How would anyone deal with this? If he told Ms. Webber, would she ask _who _did it…? Would this turn into a lawsuit and the teacher getting fired? This seemed too damn complicated. He hated to think about it.

"I'll do the a), b), and c) parts…and you can do the rest…? And can you do the conclusion, too?"

Jeff snapped out of it, looking to Kurt who was speaking in the most quiet, monotone way that the blonde had ever heard from the boy. He was holding the folder with their paper requirements and wait—

When did he even get that? Had Jeff handed it to him? Had he set it down on the bed? And—

Wow, _now_ who was the one completely out of it?

"S-sure, that's fine…"

Kurt nodded in response and put the folder down, rubbing his eyes with his hands. "Email me what you did so I can put it all together… I… I'm just gonna take a little nap right now, so, yeah…"

"Right. I'll see you later, Kurt…" The blonde stood up, going towards the door as he heard the shifting on the bed as his pale friend got settled.

"Tell him, Jeff," the hardly-audible voice said, and he turned around to see Kurt's eyes closed and the boy lying limply, lifelessly on his back.

Had it been Kurt who said it? Had anything even been said at all?

Of course it was Kurt. That was the thing about him… That's what Jeff realized from his always eye-opening, albeit short, interaction with him, since he first met him.

_In Kurt's eyes, Kurt was the last priority._

* * *

><p>"The entire <em>reason<em> he's here is because of that, though," Wes pointed out, pressing a firm spoon into his oatmeal, not taking a bite. "You'd think they would've taken them away before…"

"He's here for killing that guy—"

"But, like, _stabbing_… _Cutting_," Wes interrupted Nick, shrugging a little. "I'm just surprised they still let there be razors then."

A few moments of silence passed between the boys in the cafeteria, then Trent sighed. "Maybe he just…likes stabbing or whatever, you know? First the guy he killed, then the time he was on acid, and now—"

The boy was cut off when his tray of food was shoved into his chest roughly, bits of oatmeal and other food falling onto his uniform shirt and pants.

"What the fuck, B!"

"Just fucking _shut it_, okay? He's not – some – _thing_ that we can just talk about like this! He's a person and my _boyfriend_ and he's having a fucking hard time, okay? There's nothing wrong with him except that he's depressed… _Fuck_," he shook his head, still breathing hard from the adrenaline of losing his temper.

Everyone at the table just sort of stared, glancing between Blaine and Trent, who was giving the curly-haired boy a look of confusion and annoyance, though nodded, knowing Blaine was right. "Yeah, whatever," he brushed some of the food from his uniform and rolled his eyes, standing to go clean off, "Sorry, bro."

Blaine being violent wasn't something anyone wasn't familiar with, though they didn't want to see that return.

That side of him had been generally absent for a while, especially since Kurt had arrived at Dalton.

Jeff carefully nudged the curly-haired boy, nodding in the direction of the doorway, where Thad and said pale boy were making their way into the building, Thad going towards the food and Kurt coming straight to their table. "Heads up."

Kurt sank into the space beside Blaine, not even making an attempt to put distance between their bodies, now that the school knew about them.

"Hey, you okay?" Blaine ran his hand along his boyfriend's shoulders, clutching the small of his back when the pale boy completely leaned into him, sagging against his body. "Kurt?"

"Everyone knows," Kurt murmured into the curly-haired boy's neck after a while of silence, his breath faint and shaky.

"Knows what—?"

"I hate this school. I fucking _hate_ this place."

Everyone jumped as Thad yelled and slammed down his tray of food, his teeth clenched. He angrily sat down, his breath coming out hard.

"Thad, what's going on?" David asked him, everyone watching the dark-haired boy, wanting to know the same thing.

"What's—? I'll fucking show you what's going on." Thad yanked his bag around to the front of his body, and dug into a smaller pocket, pulling out a few items and tossing them onto the table for everyone to see. "This place is fucked up."

A bunch of small pieces of tape attached to items were scattered on the space in front of them. Upon closer inspection, they were all small razor blades.

"What the _hell_?" Nick spoke first, picking one up and looking at it.

"Taped to our fucking door," Thad spat, shaking his head in disbelief.

Blaine looked at the small blades incredulously, then pulled Kurt closer to his side, turning to Thad. "Was this just this today?"

Thad threw his arms up dramatically, angrily. "Fucking – I _guess_! I don't know! It all wasn't there last night, at least… Don't even know how they still _have these_," he mumbled more to himself the last part.

Blaine nodded in reply and watched as Thad cleared the table of the objects. He turned to his boyfriend slowly, carefully, scanning his face and looking for some clue of how he was reacting to all this. "Babe, are you okay…?"

Kurt just shrugged helplessly, his eyes staring blankly in front of him. "I just don't… Everyone _knows _that I… And that it was because of me the razors got banned. I don't get it."

"Yeah, how does everyone know?" Nick asked no one in particular, and the other boys nodded.

"Did someone say something? Maybe someone from group told," Jeff suggested quietly, shrugging.

No one really said anything to that, because it _was_ possible. The guys in their group therapy class generally were friends with each other and didn't spread around things told in that time period, but it could have happened.

"I don't fucking know… But seriously!" Thad huffed, still obviously upset. "This place—! I mean, this is his _safety_ they're fucking with, here—!"

"Thad—" Kurt tried quietly to interject, but his roommate continued.

"They took away the razors to make sure he doesn't _kill _himself and they're making _jokes_ about it? That's fucking _low_, even for Dalton."

"What do you mean?" David asked Thad, cocking an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Jokes about it…? You mean the stuff taped to the door. The razors."

Thad scoffed, going to dig into his bag again, this time pulling out a piece of lined notebook paper, the corners all having used tape on them. "Mature bastards."

All the boys – minus Kurt and Thad – leaned in and shifted angles to read the note.

_**FAGGOT  
>better luck next time<strong>_

* * *

><p>"Whoa, man, what the fuck are—?"<p>

"_Justin_!" Blaine snapped at his roommate, spinning around to face the door as the brown-haired boy entered. "Did you—? Where the fuck is my French book?"

Justin raised an eyebrow, eyeing the complete mess of a room that seemed to have appeared in the last hour since he'd been gone. "I don't _know_… What the hell? Did you go through my shit?"

Blaine huffed out a breath, grabbing a blazer from the ground and tossing it aside, looking underneath it, finding nothing. He tugged a hand through his curls. "I need my book. I'm practically failing that class and I'm fucking _already_ late to the study thing the guys are doing."

Justin crossed his arms over his chest, looking annoyed. "I don't give a fuck," he rolled his eyes, moving to his bed and getting a notebook out from his bag. "Just don't touch my stuff, okay?"

Blaine visibly shook with frustration, letting out a sound of aggravation, his arms shooting into the air. "Fuck it. I just—! Fuck it! I'll look off someone else's book, I'm gonna fail anyway."

Without another word, the curly-haired boy snatched his shoulder bag from a place on the ground, storming from the room. He stomped a few places down and shoved the half-open door completely ajar, startling the blonde occupant.

Jeff, sitting cross-legged on his bed, inhaled a surprised breath at Blaine's abrupt enter, his eyes going wide for a moment before settling down. "Oh. You scared me…"

Blaine chucked his bag to the floor, looking around at the otherwise empty room and holding his arms up. "Where is everybody?" At Jeff's slightly confused look, Blaine elaborated very slowly, his voice dripping with attitude. "For the _French study session_?"

The blonde perked up at this. "Oh, I – Nick had a personal session thing, so we're doing it at seven… I texted you about it…"

Blaine clenched his teeth. "My phone's dead."

"Oh…" The other boy could see how clearly angry his friend was, and just sort of stared at him, not knowing what to say. "Sorry…"

Blaine just shook his head, silently saying he wasn't angry _at Jeff_, but just—! He turned to the nearest wall and let his head fall against it, keeping it rested there. His shoulders sagged. "_Uuuggghhhh_," he groaned in frustration, just having spent too much time in a rush for it to not even matter.

He stayed there for a while, his frustration then coming out in annoyed, sarcastic laughter, though the noises soon sounded choked, and turned into sobs.

Jeff sighed, closing the book he had open and standing up. "B…"

"No, it's – I don't even know. I'm just so fucking stressed out right now," he murmured into the wall, then turned around to face the blonde, his face so clearly tense with strain and worry that it was physically visible. "I can't even deal right now."

Jeff ran a nervous hand over his face, never having had to deal with Blaine like this before. "I – I know. Everything happening with Kurt—"

"He's basically gone, you know," Blaine interrupted, his eyebrows knitted together, his voice shaky and hysterical and he just looked at the other boy hard, trying to get him to be on the same page. Jeff gave him a look showing he didn't understand. "Like, if I met him now, I'm not even sure if I would fall in love with him," he hardly was audible when he said this, his eyes avoiding Jeff's.

Jeff made a surprised face at this, then tried to return his expression to its neutral look. "Yeah, I mean, he's been totally off lately—"

"That must sound horrible, right? I mean, I _love_ him, I really do, Jeff. Kurt's – he's my _life_, but I just. All I'm trying to say is that he's so…_not himself_ right now that it hurts to be around him sometimes… Just because it's so…_obvious_ that he's in so much pain… I can't even…" He trailed off, turning away, seemingly not needing Jeff's input at all but continued talking to him. "I see these…these _tiny_, like, _glimpses_ of Kurt – of _my Kurt_ – and then they're gone and I feel like I had a good dream and woke up and realized it wasn't real…"

When the curly-haired boy slowly walked across the room to sit in the chair of Nick's desk, and was silent for a good while, Jeff sat down on his bed, rubbing his hands together in front of him. "He's gonna get better though… This isn't how it's gonna be forever… I mean, they're changing his medication and stuff so much, they're _gonna_ find something that works. That's why they're doing it."

Blaine just nodded. "I know… I mean, I _know_, I just see him every day the way he is and…"

Jeff nodded slowly when the curly-haired boy trailed off. "I get it, B… We're all worried about him. And we've all been stressed out because of this. Especially after everything that went down with the…" He trailed off and sort of made a gesture of his hand moving across his forearm. "We don't want him to hurt himself or be like he is right now… And you're his—" Jeff stood at this, moving to stand beside Blaine and put a hand on his shoulder, "—You're his _boyfriend_, Blaine, of course this is gonna take a toll on you…"

Blaine just sat there, not speaking for a while. "Sorry to take all this out on you, man."

Jeff shrugged, sitting down on the floor against Nick's bed. "Don't be… You can talk to me if you're having problems or anything… Speaking of which…" Jeff paused uneasily, speaking carefully when he said his next words. "How's being completely _out_? Have you been getting shit for it?"

Blaine rolled his eyes and shrugged. "I don't know… I guess. I mean, I've gotten a few 'queer's and 'faggot's, and people asking me about it, but nothing worse than being made fun of for being short or whatever… There's Renny and his dick friends, but… Aside from a few people, I don't think Dalton's big on the _anti-gay_."

"Really?" If Jeff perked up at this more than he should of, it wasn't noticed by Blaine.

"Mmm," Blaine hummed an affirmative, absent noise. "I mean, we're in Ohio, yeah. But there's so many straight guys at this place that _hook up_ with other guys anyway, and we're all so fucked up… I'm not saying Dalton loves the gays, because that's just not true…but getting a fix and paying people back their money seems more important some of the time."

Jeff blinked, looking away slightly and nodding. "Yeah… That makes sense…"

Blaine sighed and stood from the chair, moving slowly to grab his bag from the ground and go towards the door. "Famous last words, though. Watch me get my head bashed in tomorrow," he mumbled as he left the room.

Jeff might have missed the dark humor, just staring ahead in front of himself, his head swimming.

He didn't know how long he's been sitting and thinking when Nick came strolling into the room, whistling some light tune loudly, but he had smoked three cigarettes. The dark-haired boy tossed his bag onto the ground and threw a balled up orange note in the direction of the trashcan, making an exaggerated groan when it missed the bin.

Jeff snapped out of his thoughts at this, letting his lips hardly turn up in fondness at his roommate's easy-going attitude. "Hey… How was the thing?"

Nick fell backwards onto his bed, letting out an indifferent hum. "It was fine. My parents are moving, so the school wanted me to know they're changing my permanent home address and stuff."

Jeff sucked in the last of his smoke, crushing it out in the mug he had brought down for the cigarette butts and ashes. "Oh… Are they moving far away?"

"I don't know. I forget what city it's in… It's still in Ohio, so…" He shrugged, and then sat up on the bed, looking down to where Jeff was still sitting against his bed, facing away, nearly-empty pack of cigarettes near. "You alright there, bud? I think I can hear your lungs crying…"

The blonde slowly stood up, taking the mug of ashes carefully and placing it on his desk, placing both of his hands down on the flat surface. "Yeah… Just… Blaine came by and sort of broke down."

"What happened?"

"Just everything that's going on with Kurt is freaking him out…"

Nick nodded, still noticing him roommate acting more strange than he felt necessary. "Well… Understandably… But are _you_ okay? Did it stress you out?"

Jeff turned around, giving the dark-haired boy an annoyed look. "Well a _little_, but I'm fine, Nick…" He sort of rolled his eyes, going to rearrange papers and objects on his desk.

"Okay, fuck, sorry. You've just been… Well, you've been _off_ for a while, you know? I've tried talking to you about it. We don't have to go into this again. It's just… With all the shit with Kurt, I don't want you to…" Nick trailed off, the unsaid words delicate.

"I'm not gonna kill myself, Nick…" Jeff replied, though more quietly than he had spoken before.

"Well… Good. Just… You can talk to me, okay? You always have been able to… I just feel like you've been… Well, not _avoiding_ me, but just trying to ignore me, or something."

Jeff opened his mouth at this, then closed it and – _god_.

_"Tell him, Jeff,"_

Maybe Kurt was right…

"Nick, I… I just… God."

"What?"

"I need to tell you something."

At this, the dark-haired boy sat up straight, scooting to the edge of the bed, giving him full attention. "Yeah. Yeah, of course."

Jeff opened his mouth to say something, but just groaned quietly, having a difficult time finding the words.

_This was like telling Kurt all over again. _

"I… Fuck."

Nick stood and walked to where Jeff was standing, and put a hand on his back, trying to make eye contact. "Talk to me, man. What's going on?"

_Just say it._

Jeff felt his heart beating hard in his chest.

_Just __**say**__ it. _

"Jeff… You're sort of freaking me out…" Nick ducked his head, trying again to see the blonde boy's face.

_I was molested_.

_It's not that hard. Just fucking say it._

Jeff finally let his gaze be caught by his roommate, his dark eyes wide, caring. And—

_Oh, right. That's why he's my fucking best friend and why I come to him for __**everything**__. _

_Just say it._

"Jeff, just relax… You can tell me any—"

"I'm in love with you."

Nick's caring and beautiful eyes widened just slightly, and Jeff froze.

"…What…"

_Not that. NOT THAT. That wasn't what I wanted to say._

"Oh god. No, I mean – Oh _god_," Jeff groaned, yanking away from his roommate, his hands flying up to cover his face. He let out a loud breath and darted to the doorway, leaving the room in a rush.

Nick, mouth hung open, eyes still wide, watched him go, no words leaving his mouth, none even coming to mind.

* * *

><p>"You're joking." At Jeff's horrified and serious expression, Thad closed his eyes and laughed humorlessly, bringing a hand to cover his face. "Please just… Say you're shitting me, or something."<p>

"Thad, _please_—"

"_Ugh_—"

"Just for a little while. I can't even look at him right now…"

Thad let out a frustrated noise, then turned to look behind him into his room from where he was at his doorway, seeing Kurt was sleeping. He stepped out fully into the hall, forcing Jeff to step back. "You _do_ realize…" Thad licked his lips. "…that _tomorrow_, you know, for _class_? You're gonna see him, because you guys share like _every-god-damn_ class together. And at group? And when we eat? You can't avoid him, Jeff, you guys have the same damn life."

Jeff clamped his eyes shut and let out a sigh. "Yes, I know I can't avoid him… But right now, like _literally_ at this second, I need to get away from him."

"The lounge?"

"Just for the _night_. Come on…"

Maybe it was the way Jeff looked so honestly frantic or the sound of rustling coming from their room behind him – a clear sign their noise had woken Kurt up – but Thad was entirely sick of fighting this.

"Fucking – _fine_! I don't know what the hell is going on between you guys, but it's getting fucking old… _Seriously_," he huffed, going back into his own room quietly, seeing Kurt was possibly rousing from his nap, the blonde boy following him into the space. Thad picked up the book on his bed and turned it over in his hands. "It's really not the time…"

Jeff looked down, nodding, feeling stupid for so many reasons. "I just…can't handle it right now, Thad."

The dark-haired boy tensed at this, dropping the book back onto the mattress. "You can't—?" He turned around to face Jeff. "You can't _handle_ it right now? Look at _him_," he spoke in a quieter voice, wildly gesturing to his maybe-now-sleeping-again roommate. "When I first met that kid, when _we_ first met him…he was fucking _terrified_ and had no idea what the hell his life was… But he was still _strong_. He was – I mean, _really_ – he was _raped_, and beaten and shit, but stronger than you'd expect." He let out a scoff, his arms thrown into the air. "Fucking stronger than I would've been!"

There was a brief moment of silence during which they both sort of just glanced at Kurt, who, if his steady breathing and lack of reaction was any indication, had indeed fallen back asleep. Thad turned back to his blonde friend.

"Now look at yourself. You and Nick have been fucking dancing around each other for the past – three months! Be _strong_ about it and _do_ something to fix it… Blaine's been a fucking _mess_ during all this, and now _you two_ are being idiots. Just…" Thad glanced back to his roommate. "You – we _all_ – need to be _strong_ for _him _right now… This thing with you and Nick? Not the time. Just…work things out… Get a grip."

Jeff had nearly come to tears during his friend's ramble, because, really, he was right. "I… God. No, you're right, Thad. _Shit_… I'm being such an idiot and I can't be doing all this right now."

Thad raised an eyebrow sarcastically. "Uh, _yeah_. So, I hope the _whatever-big-talk-fight_ thing you just had with him was at least an _attempt_ to fix it?"

"Well—"

"Mm, you talked to Nick?"

Both boys were startled by Kurt's sleepy murmur from his bed, looking over to see him hardly stirring, his eyes still closed. After a couple seconds, he blearily blinked them open and sat up, looking expectantly at Jeff.

"I – y-yeah. Sort of," he mumbled in reply to Kurt's question, feeling actually sort of embarrassed about his really important talk ending up as a horrifying confession.

"So, uh… How'd it…go, then?" Kurt asked dully, and Jeff could tell he was trying to put his all into it, but his medication was making him foggy again.

"…Okay. Didn't – uh – Didn't really go as planned…"

Thad raised an eyebrow at this, and looked between the two. "You planned a talk with him?" But both boys sort of just dismissed his comment.

"But… You told him, right…? About…everything?" Kurt asked Jeff hesitantly, chancing a quick look at Thad, who just seemed sort of confused and suspicious.

Jeff let his eyes drift away from making contact with Kurt's and he sighed. "I told him _some_thing. Not _that_. I wish I had told him about that…"

"… What?" Kurt actually perked up a little at this with curiosity and he sat up in his bed, scooting to the edge to be closer to where the other boys were standing. "What happened?"

The blonde boy knew Thad was right there. And he knew it was soon after everything went down and he probably wasn't thinking very clearly… But everything was going to get out sooner or later. "I told Nick I'm in love with him…"

"W-whoa!" Thad blurted, his hands going up in the air. "I just _really_ stepped into the middle of something – Not getting involved. No offense, Jeff, I just am _not_ doing this right now. Sorry," he almost hysterically sort of scoffed, humorlessly, and went to grab the book from his bed, and headed towards the door, but turned around at the two boys before leaving. "You can stay here, man, but still – you know – what I said before, just – priorities. Keep things in perspective," he looked pointedly at Kurt, but then blinked, looking back to the blonde. "Not that a sexuality crisis isn't – important, but, you know…" He left the room, something along of the lines of 'What _next_?' being mumbled as he closed the door behind himself, heading to the stairs, probably to the lounge.

The silence hurt.

"Jeff,"

The blonde sighed exaggeratedly, his face scrunching up.

"Jeff, sit down. We're talking about this."

He just shook his head, moving to Kurt's desk and snatching a book from it. "I can't right now. I just – We'll talk about it later… Give me some time…" Jeff practically ordered, his voice tinted with finality as he sat down on Thad's bed, opening the book and looking through it. "We should study, anyway. We can just do it here."

Kurt stood up slowly, wincing a little as the pain in his back flared up, but stretched his arms over his head slowly. "I need to help Blaine, though… I might just go study with the other guys…"

Jeff didn't take his eyes off the pages of the French book in front of him, and felt a little bad at using Kurt's natural guilt and his medicated haze to his advantage, but did it anyway. "Just get a hold of B to tell him to come over here… Nick and Wes and David can study together."

Because lately, Kurt pretty much did anything he was told to do, due to it requiring less thought.

"…Sure. Okay… I'll text him."

He went to grab his phone to send a message to his boyfriend to meet him at his room, not Nick and Jeff's, because the curly-haired boy was probably still at the library finishing out a reference sheet he had to redo. His phone indicated that he actually already had a message, and according to the time, it was only received a few minutes before Kurt saw it, and Blaine apparently had already gone to his neighbors' room.

_where r u? study study kurt! come 2 nick n jeffs room – B_

_Can you come over to my room to study, instead? I can still help you with the vocab. – K _

He sent out the reply and in under a minute, Blaine was opening his door, poking his head in, one arm full of French binder and study supplies. "Hey, Kurt," he placed the contents of his arms onto his boyfriend's bed and snuck up beside him to kiss his cheek gently, touching his arm softly.

"Hi, baby… By the way, I have your book for French, you left it here…" Kurt spoke, his voice sounding sort of bored as he gestured to his desk where another French book was present.

Blaine blinked for a second, looking at it, then sighed, shaking his head. "Of course I did… Fuck, you know I was looking for that thing for about 30 minutes today? God… Thanks, babe." He went over to the desk to retrieve the book, and when he turned back around, he seemed to just notice Jeff's presence, and just stared at him.

In the silence, Jeff looked up from Kurt's book, kind of nodding his head in acknowledgement, but catching the odd look the curly-haired boy was giving him. "Uh, hey…"

Blaine kind of snapped out of it, absently moving next to Kurt again and running a hand over his shoulder and putting a smile on his face. "Hey, Jeff. I – uh – So, _you're_ in here… Um, just… I mean, just with the whole thing that happened with…" He sort of jerked his head in the direction of Jeff and Nick's room. "…He didn't know if you were avoiding him, but I guess… If you're studying here, instead…" The whole ramble was sort of hard to follow, but Blaine shrugged and turned his attention back to Kurt, who was opening Blaine's book and beginning to speak some of the vocabulary to him.

The couple sat down next to each other on Kurt's bed and started studying and Jeff looked back down to his book, his face hot and his ears on fire. He could feel his heart thumping against his chest and pulsing on his neck and face.

He knew Nick would tell, because they were all friends and he didn't blame the boy for that… But _god_, it was a _thing_ now… And, shit.

_Everyone knew. _

The secret he'd been hiding for a few odd months was just like that – out.

_Everyone knew. And no one really cared._

* * *

><p>"For your <em>final project<em>, you will be doing an essay focusing on _pathos_… Now, who can tell me what that is?"

Everyone sort of awkwardly avoided Mr. Goff's eyes and the man sighed, turning around to begin to write something on the board when the door opened, and an anxious Kurt came shuffling in, parting from a tall man that had been with him and going to stand near the teacher, his eyes red.

"Mr. _Hummel_, care to explain why you're late today…? Again?"

The boy kept his eyes down and the class grew quiet. Kurt cleared his throat softly before answering. "I had a psychiatry session," he said slowly, his voice sounding slightly scratchy.

The older man raised his eyebrows at this. "Yes, you've been having quite a few of those lately… And they scheduled it _during_ this class?"

The pale boy shifted his weight between his feet uneasily. "N-no. It… It went over. I have a note," he mumbled, handing the piece of paper over to Mr. Goff, a tremble evident in his hands.

As the man unfolded the paper, Kurt shot a glance over to where his boyfriend and friends were sitting, and he locked eyes with Blaine, who gave him a small, reassuring look and nod.

"Yes, alright. Take your seat… Now, as I was saying, _pathos_ is the appeal to the reader's _emotions_…"

Kurt sank quietly into his seat beside Blaine, and let out a shaky breath, his eyes falling shut, his entire body still vibrating in slight tremors.

"Kurt, what's going on? Are you okay?" Wes whispered from his seat behind him, leaning up to get closer to the boy.

Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but instead of words, a choked sob escaped, and he turned towards his boyfriend and practically _fell_ into him, clamping his eyes tightly shut and beginning to bawl, loud, painful cries leaving his mouth.

Everyone in the classroom became dead silent, including the teacher. After a couple seconds of shock, Blaine placed his arms around Kurt tightly, exchanging a horrified look with David over the crying boy's head, then beginning move his arms along his shoulders. "Shhh, it's okay… Hey, Kurt… Calm down. What's going on?"

But the boy continued to sob uncontrollably into his jacket, his body positively wracking with sobs, not saying any words. His breathing became harbored and shaky, and he almost sounded as though he was beginning to hyperventilate.

Blaine looked around him, helplessly, and finally turned to their teacher, who was standing with his mouth slightly agape, a shocked expression on his face. "Can I—? Something?"

The man snapped out of it, and began nodding. "Y-yes, yes, just take him to the nurse. Um, call here when you get there."

All at once, the eight boys rose from their seats somewhat frantically, moving hurriedly towards the door, worried eyes on Kurt.

"Hey, not all of you! Just Anderson!"

But the comment fell on deaf ears as the group made their way from the classroom, dismissing their teacher and the rules entirely. Because right now, something was happening.

Blaine was having a hard time guiding the still-crying boy who was slightly taller than him – thinner, and probably weighed less, but still taller – along the ground of the hallway, as Kurt's feet seemed to be hardly putting themselves down in front of them.

The curly-haired boy was holding him, leading him, a hand on the small of his back and the other sort of on his stomach, Kurt's arm draped messily over his shoulders. He tried to take a wobbly step and his ankle sort of disagreed with his intensions and gave out.

Blaine easily enough caught him before he fell, but Kurt crumpled to ground anyway, intentionally, because he couldn't move anymore, and his sobs resumed their previous intensity. The boys all immediately dropped to the ground as well, on their knees or crouching, and tried to look at him, but Kurt was bringing up his knees to his chest and burying his face in them.

"Kurt. Come on… What the fuck is happening?" Thad demanded, with more of a desperate tone, not harsh, and reached to squeeze his roommate's knee.

The pale boy – now quite flushed red from crying – took a few forced deep breaths, his arms and shoulders and hands still twitching and trembling from the aftershock of the main sobbing event, and tried to calm down his tears.

He lifted his head and immediately sought out eye contact with Blaine, who was so shocked and pained that he didn't even know what to say. Instead, the curly-haired boy pulled him in closer from where he was almost half-hugging him, and Kurt reached out a hand to clutch the material of the front of the boy's shirt, his hand weak and unable to grasp very tightly, almost akin to the feeling of a limb coming out of the numbness of being asleep. "Th-they…" He tried, he really tried to speak, but his body wasn't agreeing with him.

Blaine reached an arm out to hold around his chest from the side, and leaned to plant a hard kiss on the top of Kurt's head, causing the pale boy to clamp his eyes shut tightly, his face contorting in hurt again.

"They want me to…to do ECT…"

Everyone was silent for a beat, and exchanged glances, trying to figure out if the others knew what that term was referring to. Finally, Jeff opened his mouth hesitantly. "ECT?"

* * *

><p><em>"ECT?" <em>

_The woman – Dr. Parson, who was young, younger than Kurt would have wanted for someone who was in charge of his damn metal health – leaned back in her chair, looking at Kurt carefully before speaking. "Electroconvulsive therapy…"_

_Kurt raised an eyebrow at her, as if waiting for her to continue or say she was kidding, but that was all she said. "Electro—? You want to electrocute me," Kurt mumbled, his eyes wide as they trained in on her. As the woman blinked thoughtfully, about to respond, Kurt turned to Ms. Webber, who he requested be in the room as well, and asked her desperately, "You think I should do this, too? _

_But before the group therapist could answer, Dr. Parson cut in. "ECT is not __electrocution__, Kurt… But because so many of the medications we've tried have had unfavorable results, we want you to consider an alternative treatment. It's safe. And it's usually very effective in cases where antidepressant medications do not provide the sufficient relief from symptoms that we'd hoped."_

_Kurt's breath flooded out of his lungs and he just sat helplessly in his chair, and turned to his psychiatrist. "It's… __electroconvulsive__ therapy… It's not shocking me?"_

_Dr. Parson made a brief exchange of eye contact with Ms. Webber and sat up in her chair, finding a small pamphlet in a desk drawer and handing it over to him._

_It was titled,_

_**How Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) Could Change Your Life**_

_He opened it wearily, with hands damp from sweat and tried to scan the words, but was having trouble taking in anything. _

_"The treatment involves sending an electronic current briefly through a portion of the brain. It's is used for people whose depression is…__severe__ or…life threatening, or for those who cannot take antidepressant medication." Dr. Parson's voice cut into his foggy brain and he looked up to her, seeing her staring right back, just as intently, trying to gauge his reaction. "We think it would be a very smart thing to think about." _

_"…'Life threatening'… This is because I—? I wasn't trying to kill myself," he insisted desperately, his voice thick with emotion. "I-it was an accident. I was just…" He trailed off, his voice having a hard time making itself known. Ms. Webber shifted in her seat and leaned a little forward to catch Kurt's eyes. _

_"You're depression is severe and causing you to harm yourself, Kurt. And it's been this way for almost four months, regardless of the medications you've been prescribed… You may not have been trying to commit suicide, but last year, around this time after your attack—"_

_"I'm better than I was then… I have Blaine a-and my friends…and I'm not going to try to kill myself again…" _

_There was silence for a few moments and the two women shared a look. Finally, Dr. Parson spoke up. "Listen, Kurt. We know you're still having problems and that your symptoms are still present. Ultimately, it's up to your medical guardian to make this decision, but either way, we're going to schedule a meeting to have your father come up to the school to discuss different treatments, but we've already talked with him on the phone and he seems on board for considering this. With the medications you took last year that didn't work for you, as well as the ones we've been trying over these past few months, we've pretty much exhausted the different doses of SSRI antidepressants… There are other forms of medications, but those are the safest and most common form for teenagers struggling with depression symptoms. We're willing to continue trial and error, but ECT has really helped a lot of people completely rid themselves of these feelings." _

_Kurt didn't know what to say. _

_So basically, they'd run out of different common combinations to try? They were going to SHOCK his brain? From the way the doctor was speaking, she already sort of had her mind set on this happening. _

_And apparently, his dad was already set on it, too. _

_He looked back down to the pamphlet, under the subheading: __**How Does It Work?**_

_The pale boy tried to read some of it, catching words like 'seizure' and 'convulsion,' but not really comprehending what it meant. "I-I don't understand… What exactly would they do to me?"_

_Dr. Parson let a small smile fall on her lips and folded her hands together. "Small electrodes – which are kind of like little suction cups to deliver electricity – will be placed at specific places on your head to deliver electrical impulses… Now, recently, ECT has been improved greatly and causes little to no discomfort. You'll be given a muscle relaxant before the treatment itself – which is done under anesthesia." _

_Kurt felt himself daze out, hardly fighting the fog of his medication. Sometimes, it felt good to check out of life. "…And then…they just shock me? And it takes away the depression?"_

_It was weird. Saying it out loud. __**Depression**__. It'd been a while since the word left his lips._

_"The electrical stimulation causes a brief seizure within the brain—" Kurt's mouth fell open, his eyes going wide. He could feel tears clouding up his vision, which hadn't happened in a while since his current medication made him feel so emotionless. _

_"Very brief and painless… For only about 30 seconds, and you'll be under anesthesia, remember," Ms. Webber cut in, seeing the look on the pale boy's face, but her explanation didn't much help him feel better._

_Dr. Parson nodded and continued. "You'll have several sessions of ECT, for full therapeutic benefit, usually a couple per week and the full treatment being two or three weeks." _

_He was doomed. They were set on this treatment, he could tell. And fully convincing his dad would be easy, after so many shitty medication combos did nothing more than make him feel worse. "What… What about side-effects? I thought I saw something…" He looked down to his pamphlet again, who he felt was probably more honest than this psychiatrist lady, who was what? 28? How could she know anything? He couldn't find where he thought he saw common side-effects of the treatment, but Dr. enlightened him._

_"…Some…__memory__ problems might occur in the wake of your treatments. Though, newer techniques have minimized these side-effects."_

_At this, Kurt snapped into reality, like a bucket of cold water was poured down his back and he shot up in his seat, his posture ramrod straight. "Memory..."_

_Again, always trying to make things sound like they sucked less than they did, Ms. Webber tried to explain, though her cold voice and attitude of her not helping when she could have flooded Kurt's memories. "Usually the memory loss is just around the time of the treatment, and some confusion right after finishing it…" She opened her mouth slowly as though to contemplating whether or not to continue, but then made an exchange with Dr. Parson, and closed her mouth instead._

_"What?" Kurt prompted softly, twisting his hands together in his lap._

_"…It's somewhat common for the patient undergoing treatment to lose parts of their memory or a few months prior to the treatment, but it's not predictable to say who exactly will have this side-effect." _

_Kurt's stomach hurt. _

_"…A few months?"_

_"If anything, the memory loss is always the most recent events, but in a lot of cases – such as yours – these past few months have been spent in a severe depression," Dr. Parson commented lightly, as though this was something to be commented on lightly._

_It felt as though his heart fell out of his body, but he knew that wasn't the case, because it was still thrashing against his chest in an indiscreet attempt to escape his body – probably trying to get out before he was going to be electrocuted._

_"They might not be the worst times to be forgotten," the psychiatrist continued, in a voice like she was trying to sell it to him. _

_The bell rang throughout the school then, causing everyone in the room to jump slightly. _

_Kurt shook his head, determined, his eyes burning because – oh, he was crying, now. He opened his mouth, licking his dry lips. "These p-past few months, I-I… Blaine. __Blaine__, I can't forget him, I can't lose him…" He let out a harsh breath, "D-don't I have say in this?" _

_The two women looked at each other and then back to the pale boy, Dr. Parson giving him a look that said 'no, sorry, you don't,' but apparently she was going to try to be nice about it. "Like I said before, since you're a minor, it's ultimately up to your medical guardian, who I believe is your father? And so, next week, we'll have a meeting with him to talk over treatments. But you will be at the meeting as well, and can give input to your father's decision." _

_So, no. _

_He really didn't have a say in this. _

_They spent a few more minutes giving him some extra reading materials on ECT and a few websites where he could read online stories of people who had undergone treatment and what their results were. They also let him sit and quietly cry for a moment before calling in a tall, chubby man, somewhere in his late 30's._

_"Kurt, here's…a…note for you," Dr. Parson said as she was still scribbling the end of the message, and then handed it to him. "So this is Mr. Izumoto, Kurt. Have a good day and we'll talk soon."_

_For a moment after he stood up, Kurt looked to the tall man, confused, before remembering._

_Right. _

_Personal escorts to every damn room when his appointed, approved classmates – Thad and Blaine – weren't there to hold his fucking hand and walk him to class._

_24/7 watch program. It really had the best perks…_

* * *

><p>The nurse on duty raised an eyebrow when the eight boys came walking in, the room with two cots in it hardly big enough to fit all of them. "Can I help you boys?"<p>

Blaine, still choked up from Kurt's explanation of what was happening, gently guided him to the front of the group, his hands on his shoulder and back. "He's, um… He was crying and he's sort of having trouble breathing and calming down…" He said the words out loud and noticed his own voice and breathing was shaky from almost crying on the walk over after Kurt's story.

The woman nodded and looked at the pale boy briefly, who was still taking in slightly gasping breaths, his face flushed from emotion. "Sit down, Hun," the nurse mumbled, gesturing to one of the paper-lined beds and pulling out a sheet of paper to fill out for Kurt. As she did so, and as Kurt followed her instructions, she glanced again to the seven other boys in the room. "Boys, can I help any of _you_?"

The group all exchanged glances and didn't really respond until David spoke. "…We were just…" But he trailed off, motioning unhelpfully towards Kurt and then awkwardly scratching the back of his neck.

"Boys. Get back to class," she said in a bored tone, rolling her eyes.

"We were supposed to tell our teacher we got him here," Nick piped in, trying a small grin.

"Right. Of course. What class are you supposed to be in this hour?"

"…English. With Mr. Goff…" Trent answered, frowning, knowing where this was probably going.

"Okay, I'll give him a call. Now all—" She held up her hand and counted them all as she pointed at them, "—seven of you that _aren't_ having breathing problems, get to class. I'll let him know you're all on your way back."

The boys sort of grumbled and began leaving, but Blaine stayed in place and both Kurt and the nurse took notice of this. "I, um… He's on a 24/7 watch, and I'm one of his appointed escorts. I'm not supposed to leave him alone."

The nurse glanced to Kurt as she made her way to him, giving him a small plastic mask attached to an oxygen tank, and he sucked in the fresh air. She looked at him intently, and he raised his arm, pulling down his sleeve just slightly to show the bright red bracelet that had been given to him so he would be recognized as a special student. "He can be escorted by a faculty member. Now stop trying to get out of English or I'll send you to the principal or your counselor."

Kurt pulled away at the mask to speak. "Wait, can he please just stay?" Kurt panted out very quietly, then went back to using the oxygen, looking desperately at the woman, who rolled her eyes and waved a hand dismissively.

"…Fine, fine. What's your name, kid?" She asked Blaine, and he responded accordingly.

She looked up the number on Kurt's bracelet on her computer, finding Blaine Anderson as an appointed escort, and asked for his ID for confirmation. Next to the names on the list, the relationship to Kurt was stated, and clearly said 'boyfriend' by Blaine's, to which the nurse raised an eyebrow, but her facial expression softened.

"I'm going to go make that call to your teacher and fill out your paperwork. You boys stay here you keep breathing that oxygen," she nodded to Kurt, who just blinked in response, and walked out of the door that led to another inner-office.

As soon as the door shut, Blaine walked slowly from where he had been standing over to Kurt's bed, and the glasz-eyed boy stared at him from his position lying down, his oxygen mask held up against his face. He just sort of stood by the side of his bed until Kurt made the effort to scoot over against the wall to allow room for Blaine to join him.

The curly-haired boy smiled, kind of sadly, and crawled in with him, placing an arm around his boyfriend's stomach.

At the contact, Kurt clamped his eyes shut, and silent tears fell out, and unable to help himself, Blaine buried his face into Kurt's neck and cried, too.

They did that for a while, just crying together, until Kurt pulled the clear plastic mask away from his face and placed it on the small table behind his bed. "I love you," he breathed softly, his voice still tinged with hurt and sadness.

Blaine pulled away from the pale boy's hot skin to look at him. "I love you, too…" He kissed his shirt and blazer-clad shoulder and then rubbed a small circle with his thumb on Kurt's hand, avoiding eye contact. "It's been a month since you've said it, you know."

Kurt let out a soft breath, somewhere between a sigh and a sob. "I'm not myself… I… I don't even know why you're still with me, Blaine," he confessed, tangling his hands together in front of himself and looking down at them. "How can you even be _around_ me? All I do is suck everyone into my shitty life and make everyone miserable—"

"Kurt." Blaine grasped his hands and forcibly separated them to lace his own fingers through one. "I love you… I am _in love_ with you… Me, the guys – we all care about you so much. We're all sticking by you until you're you again, okay?" He rubbed his hand sort of hastily on Kurt's arm, earning a small smile. "Look where we are," he urged Kurt gently.

The pale boy glanced around himself, his eyes a little foggy and confused. "The nurse's office."

"No," Blaine laughed sort of sadly, humorlessly, and shook his head, squeezing his boyfriend's hand. "No, I mean really _where_ we are… _Dalton. Reform school_… And it's not just…us having done stupid little crimes that landed us here… Each of us has come from something or other that fucked us up enough to do those things." He paused, catching Kurt's gaze and holding it. "And we get that. Our group, we all _know_ that. That's what makes us really different from the other guys around here… We _get_ that we're fucked up. We're missing pieces of ourselves that we lost somewhere in our lives that made us the way we are. And we find each other and it helps to fill those holes. Kurt, we wouldn't give you up, and leave when it gets shitty, not just because we care a lot about you – which we _do_ – but because you're a part of us now."

* * *

><p>As the six boys made their way back along to the English wing, a specific dark-haired one caught the elbow of a blonde, matching his stride.<p>

"Uh, hey," Nick said sort of hesitantly, as though unsure if his words would set off a bomb.

Jeff tensed at the contact and interaction, but kept his head forward and nodded in response.

Nick licked his lips, still making an effort to keep up with the taller boy's pace and leaned in, trying to catch his eyes. "You've been avoiding me," he said it as though it was some kind of secret discovery, and Jeff rolled his eyes. "I know, I know… I'm not the smartest guy, Jeff. But I mean – not sleeping in our room, sitting far from me in class, flat-out _not speaking to me_ – I caught on," his voice was serious, but tinted with amusement, like it was a lot of the time.

Jeff involuntarily felt a smile tug at his lips, but he forced it to fall away, scratching the back of his neck and keeping his eyes down, still not responding.

"So, you were serious, then," Nick said, his voice just a little breathy and thick.

At this, Jeff stopped walking, and in response, Nick did as well, looking at his roommate with big eyes, searching his face. "About what?"

Nick opened his mouth, but hesitated before he spoke, his eyebrows furrowing together for just the briefest of moments before easing again. "About…what you said before… You think that you…" He sighed, clamping his eyes shut, and Jeff looked down, understanding, his face heating up. "I – I want to _help_ you with this, Jeff. We're best friends… I mean… We need to talk about what you said before… So… What, you think you're…gay, or…?" He trailed off helplessly and bit his lip, looking like he was trying his damn hardest to be there for his friend, not exactly knowing what that meant.

Jeff blinked at him, and nodded very softly, his gaze falling away from the other boy's. "Uh, yeah. I do… Or I know. I _am_ gay."

Nick's eyebrows shot up a little bit. "Oh… Wow, okay. So…you've always known, or what?"

The blonde opened his mouth to answer, but ended up just letting out a slightly frustrated sigh. "No. _No_, I didn't. I – Look, Nick. There's a lot more to all of this, okay? Can we not do this? I can talk to Kurt or Blaine about all this stuff. I told you…" He quietly sort of groaned, and lowered his voice. "I told you I'm in love with you, and you don't have to play the cool best friend who's fine with it, alright?" Jeff looked somewhere else than Nick's eyes. "You like girls and you're _not_ gay, and don't want to – whatever you said that one time – _jump my bones_, or whatever, so don't worry about it…" He swallowed thickly around the lump that had found its way to his throat and made to begin walking off.

Nick sighed, seeing after him, his shoulders slumping. "Jeff…" Because this was _not _how he had wanted this conversation to go.

Jeff spun around and walked backwards slowly as he spoke to him quietly. "I'm sorry I took out my _lust_ on you and kissed you when we were drunk, by the way," he mumbled the sentence, his cheeks and face hot and pink, and turned, making his way to the classroom they were supposed to be in.

The dark-haired boy blinked sadly and followed him in, taking his usual seat but the one next to him was empty, not filled with a softly-smiling-pierced-lip blonde. He craned his neck around to see where Jeff had taken over a seat beside Wes, and was currently whispering something quickly to him before staring straight ahead to the front of the classroom.

Nick frowned, seeing something sad and empty behind those usually bright eyes.

* * *

><p>"Blaine…?"<p>

"Mmm," the curly-haired boy hummed absently, not taking his eyes away from his boyfriend's computer screen as he continued moving his fingers on the track pad, looking up sources for his assignment.

"Blaine."

"…Yeah," he still didn't take away his focus from the laptop.

"_Blaine_, babe, come on," Kurt breathed from his bed, his voice tired and dull, and he sat up a little.

"Hm?" Blaine shook his head slightly, disconnecting from the screen and coming out of his thoughts, turning around in the chair he was in and sweeping his eyes over his boyfriend's form briefly before meeting his eyes with full attention. "Sorry. What's up?"

Kurt tilted his head to the side just so, and blinked a few times before responding slowly. "Can you…?" He pointed a finger and focused his gaze on the lit cigarette in his boyfriend's hand and then brought his finger back to gesture to his own mouth.

Blaine just blinked for a few seconds, sort of surprised at the random request and also oddly relieved that was all his boyfriend wanted, and nodded slightly. "I – yeah. Yeah, of course." He abandoned his place at Kurt's desk and went onto the bed, scooting on his knees until he was very close to the pale boy. As he was about to bring the stick to his lips, he hesitated. "Are you sure you want to smell like smoke when you meet up with your dad? He should be here really soon."

Kurt sat up a little bit more, his face closer to his boyfriend's, and shrugged. "He's meeting me in here, anyway. He'll just think it's the room."

And Blaine only nodded in response to Kurt's sleepy voice and inhaled deeply from his cigarette, then reached out with his hand to softly cup the boy's jaw, bringing their mouths close together, before blowing out entirely, watching intently as his boyfriend opened his mouth wide to suck in the smoke.

Kurt didn't ask him to do this often, but it seemed after he was especially stressed or wanting to feel close to Blaine, he would.

It started in January, when Kurt had drunkenly confessed his infatuation with the way Blaine's brand of cigarettes smelled and tasted in his mouth, and Blaine had jokingly suggested they shotgun, but he had actually agreed, and then it was something that happened then and again.

It seemed it calmed him down, and he would almost get drunk in the sensation. Kurt and Blaine hadn't been very sexually or romantically close at all in the recent past, so as he kept his eyes cracked open and tried not to let them cross from focusing on something in such close proximity, Blaine stared at his boyfriend, relishing the intimacy.

Kurt droopily opened his foggy eyes and ran them very slowly up and down his boyfriend's face before letting them shut again, leaning forward softly and exhaling the smoke. He rested his forehead against Blaine's and their noses brushed gently, and they just stayed like that for a while.

Blaine pulled back a little quickly after a few minutes, and stood to put out his cigarette in Thad's soda can, his eyebrows pulled together in slight confusion. "Wait… You're dad's coming to meet you…here? Like, the _room_?"

Kurt leaned back into the pillows and watched his boyfriend. "Yeah?"

Blaine licked his lips and sat back onto the edge of the bed, looking thoughtful. "I just…" He gestured to his body, his clothes. "Should I, like, clean up? Last time I met him, I was kind of…?" He trailed off, and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "And we weren't really official yet."

The pale boy on the bed just raised an eyebrow, seeing his boyfriend almost anxious to impress his dad, which was odd, considering how infrequently they saw their families. Before he was able to respond at all, Blaine just kind of leapt up from the bed, and began unbuttoning his wrinkled blazer.

"Yeah – no, I'll just – I'll just clean up. I'll just get out of uniform and stuff…" He stripped off his blazer and tie and went to Kurt's wardrobe, his hands buzzing as he tore through the possible over-shirts that were available in his boyfriend's closet.

Somewhere behind the general gloom and fog that Kurt was behind, he thought it was nice that they'd reached the point in their relationship that they so easily wore each other's clothes, no asking or thinking first.

Just a week before that day, Kurt had stripped from his pants and slipped on a pair of Blaine's pajama pants without thinking.

Being like that with someone was really nice.

"Good?"

Kurt looked up from his thoughts to his boyfriend, standing and buttoning up a stripped cardigan over his white oxford. "Yeah. You look fine, babe."

Blaine pressed his lips together into a line, turning to look at his reflection in Kurt's wardrobe mirror. "It, like, matches, right?" He gestured to his uniform slacks and Kurt nodded, though he didn't see it. "My hair is just sort of… I look homeless."

The pale boy on the bed raised an eyebrow, laying his head down into a pillow. "Blaine, you look nice… I don't even know why you think you need to impress him, though," he mumbled, running his hands over his own legs, clad in sweatpants.

_Sweatpants_. When did _that_ happen?

The day he decided it was acceptable to wear the fashion monstrosity that was sweatpants should have been the day he ran to the nearest clinic and demanded he be electrocuted.

"I just want him to…think I'm _enough_ for you. Even if I'm not," Blaine spoke into the mirror, flicking his eyes briefly to meet his boyfriend's gaze in the reflection.

Kurt's face softened and he slipped off the side of the bed and approached the curly-haired boy, wrapping his arms loosely around his waist from behind. "You are, Blaine… You should know that…"

And Blaine just closed his eyes, placing his hands over the pale ones on his waist. The rare moments these days that Kurt initiated loving contact – any kind of contact, really – was enough to make his head spin.

"And you _know_ I love your hair."

Blaine's eyes opened and he let out a short laugh, blinking away the moisture that had, for some reason, decided to announce itself within his eyes. "Yeah, well…" He trailed off then, no words really meant for the silence.

After a few moments, Kurt squeezed him a little from behind and let go entirely, going to crawl back up onto the bed. "You should finish your thing. And I'm exhausted."

Blaine nodded, sitting back down at Kurt's desk.

Kurt was always exhausted.

A few minutes passed and there was a series of three loud knocks at the door, and Kurt blinked his eyes open from his light doze.

His dad was there.

He stood up to get to the door and saw Blaine sit up straighter in the chair and close the window of what appeared to be a page on violins and pulled up the word document of his assignment.

Kurt timidly opened the door and yes, there was his dad.

"Hi, Dad," he greeted, for some reason almost shocked to be in the man's presence after so long. He hadn't been apart from the man for that long of a time since… Well, it had been a while.

"Hey, kid. How're you doing?" Burt greeted with a soft smile and closed his arms around Kurt, but really that was a stupid question, because he was there due to his son's depression. After he pulled away from the hug, he kind of looked into the doorway. "So this is your room…"

And Kurt nodded a little, and stepped back into it, letting his father follow him inside.

The man scanned the area quickly, nodding a little and stopping to point to all the books piled on Thad's bedside table. "Those all your roommate's?"

Kurt looked to Blaine quickly, who had sort of stopped typing and was just watching the two out of the corner of his eye and then back to his father. "Yes. Thad. He, um, he reads a lot."

"Mmm," Burt nodded and then sort of looked to Kurt and for the first time, to Blaine, silently urging acknowledgment.

"Dad," Kurt started slowly, licking his lips and moving over to his boyfriend. "This is Blaine… You met him once a while ago?"

His father smiled slightly and stepped over to where Blaine was sitting, and the curly-haired boy rose to his feet, sticking out his hand. "I was a little rude last time we met," he mumbled with a grin, and Burt shook his hand and nodded.

"Well," Burt started, slight amusement tinting his voice, "I'm willing to put that aside, you bein' so good for Kurt and all," he just sort of looked the curly-haired boy over, taking in his appearance and fuck—

Blaine was so glad he had decided to clean up a little.

"You still clean, Blaine?" Burt asked him suddenly, gauging his reaction, and the boy's eyebrows shot up.

Blaine looked to Kurt for a brief moment before turning back to his dad. "I – Yes. Of course I am."

"Good, good… But those. Those are yours, aren't they?" Burt pointed to an open pack of cigarettes that was casually sitting on Kurt's desk and Blaine froze.

"…_Yes_," was all he responded with slowly, narrowing his eyes as though not sure if that was the correct answer.

Burt only hummed in response, then turned to Kurt, who had been watching their interaction. "His smoking doesn't bother you, kid?"

Kurt blinked.

Bother him? No. Turn him on (at least when his body allowed such a thing)? Pretty much.

"Uh, no. Look, Dad, our meeting starts soon and it's across campus, so we should go," Kurt told his father quietly, as if wishing they could just not go, and he didn't have to think about ECT.

"Right, right. Okay. Well, Blaine, it was good meetin' you. Again, I suppose. And I like the way you've been looking after Kurt… I'm glad he has someone like you here."

Blaine's gaze fell to the floor and he nodded. "I couldn't _not_ look after him, sir…"

And Burt nodded and began making his way to the door, but Blaine subtly waved Kurt over to him, and the man stopped in the doorway to wait for the pale boy to say goodbye.

Blaine carefully placed his hands on his boyfriend's upper arms, almost at loss of what to say, but he finally spoke. "You'll be okay."

And Kurt just nodded, his medication making his mind clouded, but he could still feel the emotion in the room.

Blaine caught the sight of Burt watching them from the doorway, but decided to just fuck it and leaned in to kiss Kurt high on his cheekbone and let his lips linger there for a moment. "I love you," he whispered against his skin while still so near his ear and the pale boy nodded in response, letting his eyes fall shut.

"I love you, too."

* * *

><p>"Do you have any other questions, Mr. Hummel?"<p>

Burt sat and blinked for a few moments and ran a hand over his head, then sat up a little straighter in his chair. "So, you mentioned the memory loss—"

Kurt sighed and visibly sank down into his chair.

"—but I was wondering if there were any other side effects. Is this…safe?"

Dr. Parson – it was only her, Kurt, and Burt in the room – smiled and nodded gently. "It's _extremely_ safe. It's been very extensively and carefully tested on animals for many, many years as well as improved during human treatment in the past few decades and it has been found that there are no links to brain damage or permanent discomfort for the patient. The other risks are all those typically associated with going under anesthesia."

Burt nodded and then turned to Kurt slowly. "Kiddo, what do you think? This sounds like it could really be what you're needing, here."

"Dad… I don't want to do this. I don't want to _lose_ my memory—"

"Kurt, we really feel in your case, ECT would be extremely beneficial and the kind of memory loss you're worrying about is very rare. If anything, you may have some initial memory confusion directly after your treatment and any gaps usually improve over time."

Kurt just stared at Dr. Parson, his face hot. Maybe from being on the edge of tears, and maybe from anger.

Or both.

Fuck her. She didn't have Blaine to potentially lose. She couldn't understand this.

"…I think this sounds like it could work for us, Kurt," Burt said a little quietly, leaning close to his son. "Me and Carole talked about this before I came here and, well, you know – She's been a nurse for a long time. She's seen some people that have really gotten better from this."

Kurt felt the hot tears in his eyes. "Dad…" But his voice just sort of broke and he clamped his eyes shut, and shook his head slowly.

Under the fog of his medication as well as his crying, Kurt heard his father speak to his psychiatrist.

"Would you like me to set up an appointment?"

"I…"

"It can always be cancelled, but it must be 24 hours prior to receive full refund."

"…Then… Yes, thank you… Where will the treatment be happening?"

"The Cleveland Clinic is the best option for us, and they have availability next week. May 13th, 10 a.m. is the nearest open time."

"That's fine."

Kurt just closed into himself, curling up his arms around his body and sinking down further into the chair, feeling the first of (probably) many tears fall down his cheek. A firm hand fell onto his shoulder and he tried to recoil away from the touch, but his father had a grip.

"Look, Kurt, I know this is scary, but I just… You need to get better," the man's voice was gentle, but Kurt didn't care, he was still forcing him to do this. "You're not doin' good, kid, and this could be an answer for that…"

"You're not really in the right place to be thinking about this, Kurt," Dr. Parson's voice cut through the air. "You're unable to see how hard this depression had hit you, and this is really the best option."

Burt turned to her, but continued squeezing his son's shoulder. "As a doctor, you think this is best?"

"As a medical professional, and seeing Kurt's case and history, I think ECT is the best option to relieve his depressive symptoms, yes."

Kurt finally opened his eyes, raw from being held so tightly closed for so long, and looked at his father and psychiatrist.

His psychiatrist.

Yeah, blah, blah, blah, as a _medical professional_…

Bullshit.

As a total bitch who just wanted to get paid, Kurt doubted she gave a fuck about how this destroyed his life with Blaine.

* * *

><p>Kurt walked into his room and closed the door behind himself, causing Blaine to jump, startled, from his position at his boyfriend's desk.<p>

The pale boy didn't even look up as he made his way to his bed and sat down on the edge, his gaze on the floor.

Blaine looked to him, concern etched on his face. "Hey…" He started gently, spinning around in his chair to face him, taking in his sagged form. "You said you were gonna text me when the meeting was over…"

Kurt just kept his face down, his eyebrows beginning to knot together.

Blaine stood up and sat next to him on the bed, trying to catch his eyes. "What happened?"

The pale boy just inhaled an uneven breath and finally met Blaine's eyes, searching them for just a moment. "…Just…kiss me," he pleaded softly and his face was so desperate that Blaine's heart hurt. When the curly-haired boy was about to question him, Kurt closed his eyes. "_Please_."

"Okay…" And Blaine reached out to hold his boyfriend's face and connected their lips gently, bringing his other hand down to rest on his thigh, and he started kneading the flesh there slightly as they continued kissing.

After a minute or so, Blaine pulled away just slightly, and Kurt moved to his neck, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses there. "Kurt, what—?"

"No, let's lie down," the pale boy mumbled against his boyfriend's tan skin, pulling them both back onto the mattress, and Blaine on top of the Kurt as they brought their mouths together again, their lips wet and loud as they kissed.

A couple minutes had passed and Blaine finally pulled away, but again, Kurt moved to suck on the skin of his neck, tickling just slightly. "Kurt, you're freaking me out… What'd they say at the meeting?"

The pale boy didn't respond for a few moments, just continued exploring the expanse of tan skin, but finally spoke, mumbling. "They set up an appointment."

Blaine froze and made to sit up, but Kurt pulled him down on top of him. "What?"

"For ECT. They made an appointment and they're making me do it."

Blaine, still shocked, finally was able to detach his boyfriend from his neck. "…Kurt… I—"

"No," Kurt said quietly, shaking his head, and finally there were appropriate tears present in his eyes. "Let's not, okay? Let's just… Just kiss me. Keep kissing me."

And Blaine nodded, and they kept kissing. After a while had passed, Kurt reached between their bodies to try to unbutton Blaine's pants, but a firm set of hands stopped his. "Babe, you don't have to—"

Kurt pulled away and looked up into his boyfriend's eyes, panting. "Blaine, I…" And he sort of rolled his hips up against the other boy's, and Blaine felt Kurt's erection against his own. And shit, it had been so long that Kurt had really physically responded to them making out. "Can we…? I want to feel you against me."

Blaine breathed hard, looking down at his boyfriend's flushed face.

His eyes were still distant from his medication, but he was being serious about this, Blaine could tell. "You're sure…?"

"Yes."

Maybe his antidepressants made it hard for him to sexually respond, and for him to think clearly, but looking into Kurt's eyes, Blaine was sure he wanted this right now. He wanted him and it had been too fucking long.

They messily stripped themselves and each other and Blaine collapsed into Kurt when they were both void of clothing, crashing his lips against his desperately.

He could feel how hot and flushed Kurt's skin was with anticipation and hormones, and as he pushed their bodies together, their cocks pressed against each other, and they both let out choked moans, muffled by their mouths.

They slid together smoothly, all soft and slow, like they hadn't stopped doing this at all, and Blaine almost forgot Kurt was in a severe depression from the way he was enthusiastically enjoying their cocks' friction.

Blaine felt himself getting closer and closer to the edge, but it hadn't been too long at all. "Kurt," he panted into the boy's mouth, "I-I'm gonna come."

At his words, Kurt took hold of his boyfriend's body and flipped them over, and now on top, the pale boy began passionately grinding his dick against his boyfriend's, upping the speed and intensity and the whole room felt thick with sweat. Blaine felt like he was going to faint.

It didn't take long for Blaine to squirm and shudder under Kurt's movements, and he reached up to claw down his boyfriend's shoulders, gripping tightly and holding a firm grasp. His face scrunched up in pleasure as his body jolted forward, and he felt his hot cum between their bodies.

His worries that Kurt wouldn't be able to finish due to his meds ceased quickly as the boy on top of him let out a long, airy moan and strangled the bed sheets in his hands, his eyes clamping shut and mouth falling open as he came hard. Blaine watched in his post-orgasm haze with awe as his boyfriend's orgasm rang through is body and they both vibrated as Kurt's arms shook, trying to keep himself hovering above the curly-haired boy.

Kurt's cum spurted in white strings over Blaine's stomach and chest, and he was intoxicated in the pure smell of _Kurt_ and feeling of intimacy and sex that he had so thoroughly missed.

The pale boy fell on top of him after holding himself up became too much of a task, and they both just panted, their breath matching as they rose and fell with inhales and exhales, the air rapidly cooling their bodies, and they just stayed like that for a long time.

Blaine didn't know how much time had passed, but he had been staring at the ceiling for a while, and the sun was mostly set and half of Kurt's face was cast in shadow from where he was resting it on his boyfriend's chest. They hadn't cleaned up, but it didn't matter.

"I'm sorry," was all that it took to bring the curly-haired boy from his thoughts, his boyfriend's voice whispered and shaky.

Blaine sat up slowly, bringing Kurt with him and looking into his gaze intently, searching for some kind of explanation in those ocean eyes. "…For what?"

Kurt blinked and Blaine could practically taste the sadness in his being, and it hurt to think how much that poor boy had to suffer through. "For if I don't remember this. You made me feel the best I've felt in a long t-time," his voice cracked a little, but he reached out to touch Blaine's chest, over his heart, where the tattoo was. "I don't want to forget this."

Blaine looked into his eyes, he really _looked_, and as much as he wished he could say they were clear and free from fog, it just wasn't true. His boyfriend's eyes were sad, and he needed help.

But there was something else there, in his eyes. Something bright and vibrant – _emotion_ – behind that fog. Love. Something that told Blaine so much. "You won't."

* * *

><p><strong>AN GUYS! Do not fret! Next chapter takes a turn that could make the creys stop  
>Also, OMG 190 REVIEWS I LOVE YOU ALL - SUCH BEAUTIFUL COMMENTS THANK YOU *gross sobbing*<strong>


	15. Okay

**A/N Hey look a bunch of author's notes that you don't care about! But really, please do read this.  
><strong>

**Really important thing - I now own a tumblr where I post this as well, if that's your thing, especially since all the crazy has been going on around here with M rated stuffs.  
><strong>

**the url for me there is misszenno as well, so shouldn't be any trouble finding it.**

**Warnings: the same as last chapter**

**I really wanted to apologize because, well, I was in the hospital which sucked, but I totally let this story die for about a month and a half, which wasn't cool, so I'm sorry.**

**On the same note, please everyone, when you think to yourself "hey I should probably go get that checked out by a doctor" please actually do. Don't hesitate or procrastinate to do so :( That is my sincere advice to you all, friends. Because surgery that could have been avoided totally blows. And leaves scars. I love you all and I know this chapter is real short, but well, the story really couldn't be broken up any other way.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

* * *

><p><em>"Hey, kid. How're you doing?" <em>

_Blaine smiled as he let Mr. Hummel into the room, his eyes finding the floor as he thought for a quick second before answering. "I'm okay. Been better, but...well…" The curly-haired boy trailed off weakly, and then smiled again, looking at Burt, trying his damnedest at the manners he remembered. "What about you, sir?" _

_"…Been better." _

_They both just sort of nodded at each other, not wanting to acknowledge that Kurt's situation had been bringing them down, but knowing that was the case._

_"So," Burt started, his tone of voice changing, "Kurt ready to go?" He leaned a little from his position by the door to glance to the attached bathroom, from which sounds of Kurt rustling around and fumbling could be heard. _

_"Uh, yeah. Yeah, he's just grabbing a couple things, um—" Blaine's pierced eyebrow arched as he looked to the closed bathroom door. "Actually, that shouldn't be…" He mumbled quietly to himself, but trailed off as he made strides over to the bathroom. "Babe? Babe, can I open this?" _

_There was a pause, and Blaine simultaneously panicked that Kurt was harming himself, and also wanted to face-palm for using a pet name in front of his boyfriend's father. _

_"Blaaaiine, I was just about to __pee__."_

_The curly-haired boy rolled his eyes and caught the gaze of Burt, who seemed only slightly confused, his eyebrow raised. Blaine blinked and turned back to face the door, his cheeks burning just a bit._

_"Kurt. This shouldn't be closed. I'm gonna open it."_

_"Fine, I'll just…pee later." Kurt audibly sighed from within the bathroom and Blaine tried to open the door, but was unable to do so. "Hold on. It's locked." _

_"Kurt!" Blaine scolded him, seemingly forgetting Burt was there at all, and the pale boy unlocked the door, swinging it open, wearing his now-always-present tired expression. _

_"Sorry. Sometimes I forget that I have absolutely __no__ privacy anymore…" Kurt turned back into the room and grabbed one more item to put into the small shoulder bag he had with him. "Besides, Thad __abuses__ this whole open-door thing. Honestly."_

_Blaine smiled at the trace amounts of the old Kurt he got to see on occasion and nodded, flinching when Kurt all about jumped a foot in the air upon seeing his father._

_"Oh! Dad! I didn't hear you come in…" _

_Burt just stood, slight amusement on his face though it was clouded over mostly by the concern of seeing his usually very fashion-oriented son in rumbled pajamas at one in the afternoon, looking thinner, paler, more tired and less caring than ever. "You're boyfriend let me in…" He jerked his head in Blaine's direction, and Kurt blushed. Hearing his dad call Blaine that was an odd mixture of embarrassment and pride. "We gotta go, bud. I told you I'd be here at one. Your advisor and everyone're downstairs to sign you out." _

_Kurt just froze in place, maybe realizing for the first time that this whole ordeal meant he was actually __leaving__ the campus and that this was actually __happening__. "C-can I—?" Kurt looked pointedly at Blaine, and his father nodded and sighed._

_"I'll be in the hall. Be quick, alright?"_

_As soon as Burt closed the door behind himself, Kurt turned his eyes slowly towards his boyfriend's, and Blaine could see the fear and devastation present there, along with the rapidly-appearing moisture. "Hey – oh, hey, don't cry," the curly-haired boy tried as soon as he saw Kurt's form beginning to sag. He wrapped his arms around the thin boy and held tight – probably too tight – and sighed into the skin of his neck._

_"This is just another part of your life that…you have to pass through. So was everything you've done so far."_

_Kurt hiccupped a small cry, burying himself into Blaine the best he could standing. His eyes clamped shut._

_"Shhh… Hey, Kurt… Listen. This is just another thing you have to do. Everything you've been through… Even…the bullying. The…rape. The attack, Dalton. It's all been just parts of your life. Even if they're scary, you just… Don't be scared, okay…? Look what happened the last time you changed paths and came here…? We got each other out of all this… You'll be okay, and you'll change paths after tomorrow when your treatment starts, but… If the last few months have been anything to go by, changing course could be a good thing…"_

_The whole time Blaine was speaking, Kurt just breathed loudly and clung to the curly-haired boy for dear life, his edges crumbling as he tried to not break down. "I don't want to lose you."_

_At this, Blaine slowly pulled away, his arms now on Kurt's biceps, and he stared at him intently, very seriously until they made eye contact. "Listen to me. You are __not__ losing me, okay? I don't care what happens tomorrow – or after your treatment is done – you'll be my Kurt—"_

_"But what if I'm different—?"_

_"You'll still be my __Kurt__."_

_Kurt just stared at him, his body visibly shaking, his lips trembling and cheeks flushed red. He looked so damn young, and shamelessly scared, like he wasn't even trying to play brave. "I… I love you, Blaine."_

_Blaine's heart dropped, and he got a sudden whoosh through his body like he was falling on a rollercoaster, his emotions physically hurting as he took in the beautiful boy in front of him, so strong and vulnerable and blessed with the most gorgeous ocean eyes. He really hoped Kurt didn't forget him. "I love you, too, Kurt." _

Something about dim lighting and listening to Pink Floyd made him introspective. Blaine let his eyes burn with the smoke that flowed in the room, spiraling in wispy strings as it rose from his cigarette, his eardrums pulsing with the music of his headphones. Justin had asked him to take it out into the hall about three cigarettes ago and he had actively ignored him and his roommate had gone back to sleep.

If Kurt was going to be out of his life for two or so weeks, he was going to let himself be completely emotionally wrecked. That was just the way it was going to be.

And that included being selfish and needy to the point of figuratively enclosing himself in a cocoon.

Blaine sighed deeply, his eyes falling shut very slowly, tears of smoke-irritation leaking from the corners and probably sadness as he thought back on the day he'd last seen his boyfriend, the day they'd said their goodbyes. He hadn't perhaps thought it through hard enough. He _knew_ Kurt would be spending the two weeks getting treatment. He _knew_ that meant he'd be in a somewhat unstable state.

But he didn't exactly _realize_ that he'd be completely out of contact and have no way at all to talk to the love of his life that was getting a potentially-permanent, life-changing, memory-affecting, impactful treatment done that could cause him to possibly lose all recollection of Blaine's existence and their entire interaction and relationship.

He took a drag of his cigarette.

_Hey you, standing in the road  
>Always doing what you're told,<br>Can you help me?_

He'd tried calling Burt, who'd given him his number, but the clinic generally suggested not using cellphones, and the service in the area wasn't great either. He'd called the hospital directly to talk to Kurt's father the day of his first treatment, but had gotten an unsettling bit of information.

_"Mr. Hummel! I – uh. Your phone cut out last time we were talking…"_

_"Sorry…" Blaine heard the man heave a long, shaky sigh. "The service around here isn't great."_

_There were a few moments of silence and the phone crackled slightly. "So… How's Kurt?" He paused. "Can I… I mean – Could I…talk to him?" _

_Another sigh. "Listen, Blaine," this didn't sound good, "After Kurt had his treatment this morning, he… He was having some confusion and was…freaking out a little, I guess, and they needed to sedate him—"_

_"__What__?" Blaine interrupted him, his face and neck feeling like someone poured ice water down it. He cleared his throat, realizing his rude behavior. "I – um. Is he okay, though? What happened?"_

_"…He was pretty, uh, disoriented… It's just a safety thing for him, but you probably won't be able to talk to him until the whole thing's done." _

He'd tried calling four more times.

He'd gotten the same answer each time, that Kurt was still under, or sedated, or being monitored. Burt sounded more and more worried each time he talked to Blaine on the phone.

He pulled at his curls, his naked shoulders hunching as he physically worried for the boy so far away from him.

Blaine sucked in more smoke, grunting as the cigarette came to an end, and sighing in disappointment as he realized it was the last one in his pack. It was even his second to last pack. He turned up his iPod…

_Hey you, out there beyond the wall,  
>Breaking bottles in the hall,<br>Can you help me?_

"Beyond the wall," he mumbled out loud absently, repeating the lyric. He stood from his bed on autopilot, hearing it creak beneath him and echoing in the dim-lit room, illuminated by the overcast night sky and full moon. The shadows seemed real, etched-on and textured as he ran his hand along the warped wooden surface of his desk as he made his way to the window.

The branches of the freshly-leafed trees were rustling loudly and sharply, the sounds scratching against each other and whipping around in the harsh wind.

"The wall…" He pulled his earphones from his ears, letting his starry eyes reflect the starry skies as he looked out onto the landscape of Dalton in the moonlight. He peered out to the distant gates, surrounding the campus. Keeping him prisoned. Separating him from Kurt.

The gates.

_The wall._

"Beyond the wall…" He stood for a few more seconds, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips as his eyes fixed on _the wall_ of Dalton.

* * *

><p>"Her tits were kind of weird, though."<p>

Wes widened his eyes at Thad's comment, then narrowed them. "…_What_?" The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes at the reaction, but Wes continued, expression still disbelieving and argumentative. "Wait, whoa. What do you _mean_? She had _great_ tits."

Thad blinked for a few moments at the Asian boy, putting his spoon down gently. "_You_ fucked her, too. _You_ know… Not the tits, I guess, but the nipples," he sort of gestured around to his chest with a raised eyebrow, slightly disturbed expression, "Weird."

Wes huffed, shaking his head, seemingly thinking for a few moments before he answered. "…They were just really dark. Not _weird_… Do you guys think it's weird when a girl has dark nipples?" He asked the group of guys at their breakfast table, suddenly feeling his opinion strange.

Most of the boys just shrugged, but David and Trent clearly shook their heads. "Tits are tits, bro. If a chick has nice tits in general, the nipples don't really make a difference…" Trent spoke around a mouth full of cereal.

Wes nodded quickly in response, then eyed the rest of the table's occupants, seeing them generally indifferent, but Jeff's face tinted pink and his eyes strictly focused on the food he was trying to eat in front of him, hair messy and slept on. "So…" Wes started uncomfortably, blinking and eyeing the blonde intently, his hands twisting in his lap. "Do _you_ have an opinion on the matter…? Or _not_…?"

Jeff's movement froze and his body tensed, seeing out of the corner of his eye that Wes was addressing him. His eyes flickered around the table, trying to distract himself, finally landing to the hands on the table across from his. Nick's. This was awkward. He kept his eyes down and put down his fork very slowly, flicking his tongue out to wet his lips and run over the piercing there. "Um…"

Thad raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah, seriously. So are you gay now, or just…? Because I know you kind of…have a boner for your roommate and everything," Jeff groaned and closed his eyes at the wording, "but…is that just a thing? Or...are you strictly men?"

Jeff sighed in frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head. "Oh my god. _Why_ are we having this conversation right now?"

Wes looked the other way, sort of feeling ashamed for his topic discussion. "We just wanna know what's going on with you. It's been a while since the big…thing, and you haven't really talked about it," he tried defending himself, but sounded slightly embarrassed still.

"Yeah, I mean – like I said before – sexuality crisis. Big deal. Not gonna say it isn't… But, just because you have a boner for Nick doesn't mean you're gay. You could just be curious or something. Don't want you to freak out over nothing."

The blonde just sighed and raised his eyes to the ceiling, in silent prayer to the god he didn't believe in, speaking hardly above a whisper. "You fucking – you keep saying Ihavea_boner_forhim. And he's right fucking here, Thad, _what_ is your problem?" Jeff waved his hands in a slightly flailing gesture to Nick, who was sitting across from him.

Thad quietly scoffed. "Seriously? _He_ knows, _we_ know. It's not top-secret info. And what? You're saying you've never gotten a hard-on thinking about him, then?"

Jeff clamped his eyes shut and let him head fall onto his crossed arms on the table. "Ohmy_god_."

The other guys at the table laughed, and David nudged the blonde in the ribs with his elbow, laughing softly himself.

Nick frowned, his lips coming together to form a tight line. "Hey, guys, seriously. It's not funny, just quite it." He reached out his hand to pat Jeff's gently, causing the blonde to freeze and his face to burn red. He was glad his cheeks and neck weren't visible as he was buried in his arms.

Nick's brief contact of skin-on-skin felt searing hot. Like it would leave scorching handprints. They hadn't really talked or interacted much since Jeff's confession, but this was almost like some surreal rewind to the past, just casually touching like this. What it would be like if he hadn't said anything at all.

After the hand was gone, Jeff slowly raised his head, glancing at his roommate for the briefest second, catching his reassuring half-smile before drawing his eyes back to his food tray.

"So… Gay? Not gay? Bi-curious? – I didn't really get a final answer on this," Thad prompted, smiling sweetly and tilting his head.

"Oh my _god_," Jeff flung his arms out on either side of him, one arm hitting David and the other sliding over the table and knocking a fork onto the ground, making the metal clank loudly. "_Yes_! Yes, I am…_strictly men_, I…am _gay_… Fuck."

Everyone just sat in silence for a moment, before Trent broke a smile. "Man. We got…what? Three out of eight? We just _attract the gays_, don't we?"

The guys giggled, and Jeff just let a soft smile fall on his lips and shook his head in bemusement and disbelief of the boys he was surrounded by daily. Little did Trent know that it wasn't maybe so much that the specific group they were in attracted gay boys, but that they made it so _damn_ easy to come out to. This whole conversation had been proof of that.

"Seriously. That's… That's like more than a _quarter_ gays. I feel like I want to high-five someone," Trent mumbled, and Nick laughed, raising his hand in offer, but not before shooting a quick glance to Jeff, to see it was okay to do. But Jeff was smiling, so he completed the gesture.

Just then, the bell echoed throughout the cafeteria, and just before everyone pushed themselves onto their feet, David held up his hand in a halting movement. "Wait," he said, sounding suddenly serious, and everyone did. "Speaking of…other gays, where's Blaine?"

Kurt was in treatment at the Cleveland Clinic, but his boyfriend was nowhere in sight. And if the way the curly-haired boy had been sulking and a complete wild, crazy, disheveled mess since Kurt's ECT started, his absence was generally concerning.

"His phone's off. Or dead," Nick mumbled a few moments later after attempting contact, putting his cell down, looking between David and Thad, the ones that usually took some kind of charge in these situations, something the dark-haired boy was grateful for because someone needed to.

Thad just blinked, his jaw tensing, and after a few seconds of this, the others at the table slowly focused their attention on him, and the cafeteria started emptying quickly, boys in blazers getting to their classes. These boys had Chemistry. Well, some of them, and there was a lab today.

"_Always_," Thad breathed finally, breaking the weird, tense, impatient, frantic silence. "It always fucking starts like this. I fucking swear – ugh! Dammit!" He jumped to his feet suddenly, and everyone followed him, a mix between startled and scared. "Nick, Wes – go to his room, the dorm, the lounge, see if he's there. Trent, let's go around campus. You guys, go to Chem. You have shit to do."

Everyone clumsily packed their things and hurried to get going, all feeling suddenly filled with adrenalin and panic. David sighed, helping Jeff tug on his blazer as to get them to class faster. They were going to be late, anyway. "This better not be something like with Kurt last time. And I swear, if this is another Thad-fiasco, I'm gonna be _so_ fucking pissed," the dark-skinned boy muttered as they began parting from the group.

"Heard that, asshole. And for the love of _god_, everyone keep your damn phones on!"

* * *

><p><em>"It'll be a total of six treatments—" <em>

_"Six…?"_

_The doctor pulled his mouth into a line and flipped through his clipboard. "Yes. It'll be over the duration of the two weeks, so you've been scheduled for a treatment on Monday, Thursday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and one last one on Saturday. All at 10 a.m."_

_Kurt pulled his eyebrows together and sighed, not even feeling real anymore. What had his life come to? This whole idea – it seemed surreal. He hated it._

_They were left alone after that – Kurt and his father – to discuss things over before he was prepped for the treatment the following morning. _

_His dad said things like he was proud of him and that he loved him._

_Kurt had a hard time caring when it was forced treatment and he was in such a wrong, empty state of mind that he hardly acknowledged the 'love' his father supposedly was feeling towards him. _

_His dad went to talk to someone, probably Carole, who had apparently left a message for him. _

_"I have to do this," Kurt whispered out loud to himself, letting his head fall back onto the spongy hospital pillow. _

* * *

><p><em>He sighed, and pulled the battery out of his cellphone. That way, they wouldn't be able to trace him. <em>

_His bag was packed. His tracks were covered. He was going to see Kurt._

_He'd heard once that if people were talked to during a coma, they might remember it. Maybe if he talked to Kurt in his sedated state, he wouldn't forget him. _

_Kurt's last treatment was the next day, and being there was just something he needed to do. He had enough money to get a cab about three quarters of the way there. The rest he'd figure out later._

_He stood by the __wall__, looking out past the gates that they didn't seem to put much effort into improving, given the number of students that had escaped in the past. He hesitated once more before crouching down to the area that he was about to crawl under. He hesitated, stopped, because this was risky. Getting caught could mean time in juvie, or jail, or—_

_But, no—_

_"I have to do this," Blaine decided, his eyelashes fanning against his cheeks and he clamped his eyes shut before exiting Dalton. _

* * *

><p>"Come on, come on," Wes mumbled under his breath as the phone rang in his ear. He shot a quick glance at Nick, who was just sitting on Blaine's bed, a frown in place as he held a small piece of paper.<p>

"Hello?"

"Thad!" Wes jolted upright, pressing the phone closer to his ear. Nick looked over to watch the interaction, even though he was unable to hear the other side of the conversation.

"Find him?" Thad's voice was serious and he spoke quickly, sounding impatient.

"Yeah – well, not _him_, but he left a note. We know where he is."

"…"

"Thad?"

"No, yeah, I heard you, I just…" He let out a frustrated sigh and hummed, sounding annoyed. "Just – continue. What does it say?"

"Um—" Wes scurried over to where Nick was still on the bed with the small message and he snatched it from him. "Let's see… _'Went to visit Kurt for his last treatment. You won't be able to get me on my cell, but call me tomorrow at this number and ask for Kurt's room – 216-444-2200. I'll be back sometime soon. Don't be pissed.  
>-B'"<em>

There was silence in the air after Wes finished reading the note aloud, and if it weren't for the quiet, steady breathing he heard on the other side of the line, along with the very subtle crackling of the connection, he would have been sure Thad hung up. He knew to wait.

"Fine," came the voice of Thad, sounding stilted and tight, but as though he were attempting casualty. "_Fine_," he repeated, slower this time, resigned, defeated, tired, but still with attitude like a child losing an argument.

"What…?" Wes asked him a moment later, after he was sure nothing else was going to be said.

Thad huffed a breath through the phone, and then almost began speaking, but stopped, huffing again. "He said not to be pissed. And he said to call him tomorrow on that number. So, _fine_. Fucking – _fine_. That's what we'll do."

"Thad—"

"Nope. No, B's a big boy. He wants to skip campus to visit his boyfriend? Fine."

"_Thad_, you—"

"Yeah," Thad spit out, and Wes tensed, even from hearing it over the phone. "Yeah, I did the same fucking thing with Theo. And if it weren't for him _dying_, I wouldn't have wanted to be dragged back… And I'm sure Blaine doesn't want to, either…" He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was calmer, and softer. "This is something he has to deal with on his own… If he ends up getting fucked for it, well, he made that decision. We can't take this from him."

Wes just blinked, looking to Nick who was staring at him with wide eyes, a mix of curiosity and confusion evident on his features, then drew his eyes to focusing on the wall in front of him, pressing the phone harder onto his ear. "So we're going to do nothing…?"

Thad hummed before answering. "We're going to call him tomorrow. And we're gonna see if Kurt's fucking okay… Because we've all been fucking freaked out about him. And then we'll wait."

Wes nodded quickly, realizing this might've been one of the first times he'd seen Thad resign to a position that wasn't the one in complete control. Instead, he let himself support his friend, riding along the wave and letting the situation play out on its own. He let someone else make their own decision.

"Okay."

* * *

><p>"…Hey," Blaine greeted weakly, a timid half-smile on his face as he peeked into the door, scanning the room for anyone present.<p>

He first saw Kurt. In a bed, hooked up to things, _medical_ things, his eyes closed and heavy-looking. He didn't look much different than when Blaine last saw him, but the reminder that he was real, alive, and not just a twisted, surreal thing of Blaine's imagination was a comforting concept to realize. He seemed a little more _pink_, flushed, not as hollow and pale as he appeared before.

Or maybe Blaine had been building up how sick he looked in his head while the boy was gone.

"Blaine," a gruff voice called, and the curly-haired boy jumped about a foot into the air at the doorway at the call of his name. While focusing on his boyfriend, Blaine had forgotten all about other potential occupants of the room.

"Mr. Hummel!" He gasped, his small attempt of a smile returning to his face. "I… You're probably… You're probably surprised to see me…" Blaine just fixed his gaze on the man, the smile dropping from his face very slowly as he just watched for a reaction.

Burt turned fully in his chair near his son's bed to look at Blaine and his appearance. His curls and clothes were rumpled and messy, and if the empty, tired look in his hazel eyes was any indication, he'd probably gotten little to no sleep.

"I would say yes, but the group of guys that called for this room askin' for you kinda gave it away," Burt raised an eyebrow, and he almost looked…amused.

Blaine blinked, and in a moment of not knowing what to do just sort of glanced around, fixing his gaze on Kurt for a moment before returning it to Burt and stepping forward, wetting his lips with his tongue and wringing his hands together. "They… They, uh, called?"

The older man nodded slowly. "Said you ditched campus to come see Kurt and they wanted to know if you'd made it here yet…" Blaine just stared at him and nodded, not knowing exactly what to do or say. He just kind of adjusted the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, shifting it to a more comfortable position. Burt finally cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence. "What're you doin' here, kid?"

Blaine let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "I – god. I just – couldn't deal with not knowing if he was okay," he breathed quietly, his voice sounding slightly close to cracking. He looked to Kurt, then, and shook his head. "I… I _needed _to be here. Just… For when he's done. I need to see if he's alright."

Mr. Hummel blinked at this, thinking before speaking out loud. "You gonna get in big trouble for running out of the school like that?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow, slightly surprised at the question. "I – no, not really. Probation, but… Well, I mean, as long as I get back in a…pretty short amount of time, I'll be fine. I can't miss 10 days, so…" He shrugged, trailing off quietly. "It really depends on when they start looking for me, but guys escape and get brought back all the time and it's usually not too big of a deal…"

Burt looked at him for a long moment, nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer and sighed. "Come here, take a seat," he nodded to the chair beside him and Blaine just stood, not moving. "Kurt's stepmom and brother are coming by soon. They said he should be wearing off from everything in a couple hours. His last treatment was this morning," Blaine nodded to that – he was aware of that fact – and stepped quietly to take the offered seat, "and so I guess we're gonna see how everything turned out soon, then."

Blaine just stared at the gorgeous boy in a sterile bed with standard, hospital-issued clothes and couldn't help but feel his chest grow heavy with emotion. "Have you seen if it's made any difference yet?" He asked quietly, not taking his eyes away.

Burt seemed thoughtful before answering. "A lot of the time between his treatments, he's been sedated. And other than that, he's just been pretty confused and doesn't do much other than eat and drink. Would talk to me a little bit, but nothing more than a few words here and there." Blaine visibly sunk at this information and his hands moved on autopilot, one coming to grab the pale, limp one resting lightly on the bed that belonged to his boyfriend, and the other rising to skin absently over his chest, where a tattoo lived secretly beneath the material of his clothes. "But he didn't seem sad," Burt added with a shrug, and Blaine's breath caught at this, and yeah, it wasn't the best thing he could have heard, but it still gave him hope. Without hope, what the hell did he have anymore?

* * *

><p>"Blaine. <em>Blaine<em>, wake up, Kurt's waking up!"

The curly-haired boy shot up to his feet at Finn's voice, almost falling over as he was hardly awake. His eyes focused in on the bed, and there Kurt was, sitting up, eyes open, looking around at those around him.

"Hey everyone," Kurt breathed, his smile taking over his face in a way that made Blaine stand still where he was. Something was off. "This is so great that you guys are all here."

Blaine just kept his feet rooted where he was, off to the side slightly as Kurt's family interacted with him, spoke to him, smiled at him. It was surreal. In fact, Blaine was having a difficult time believing it was real at all.

He watched with big eyes as his boyfriend finally caught sight of Blaine who was still standing near the doorway, near the chairs set up at the side of the room, and Kurt looked up at him, his wide smile faltering. "Hey…" Blaine said gently, tilting his head to catch the pale boy's gaze.

Kurt stared at him for a few moments, and opened his mouth as though to respond, then blinked, just letting his lips hang open. He sent a quick, almost nervous, glance towards his father, who was watching the two carefully, then back to Blaine. "Who…? Are… Um. Are you here for me?" When Blaine's mouth just opened, Kurt looked to his dad again, confusion evident on his face.

Burt knelt down by his son's bed, looking over to the devastated curly-haired boy in the corner of the room. "Hey, come on, kid. You remember Blaine…"

Kurt looked from his father back up to where the other teen was standing and his eyebrows furrowed together. He was scanning his appearance and face, taking in and attempting to connect his looks and name with memories. "I… What's your last name?"

"_Anderson_," Blaine choked out in a quiet, breathy rush, his voice cracking on the last syllable. He stumbled a few steps towards Kurt, hoping that in better lighting, maybe he'd suddenly remember him, remember everything.

Kurt just blinked as he took the curly-haired boy in, and then, feeling mostly awkward, just shrugged and instead caught the gaze of the other occupants of the room, leaving Blaine in a whirlwind of emotion. He felt like he was sinking. This wasn't happening. He was shaking.

"No, Kurt. Kurt, wait. You… We're…_dating_. You – you have to remember me. We met at Dalton? We…" He fumbled forward again, making to reach out to touch his boyfriend, in some way of comfort, in some way of igniting his memory, but the look and flinch of the pale boy as Blaine approached made him recoil. "Don't you…?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow in surprise and confusion, then blinked and looked away, not letting them make eye contact. "I… I'm sorry. But…I don't remember you. I… Please leave."

Blaine was being sucked through the door and out of the clinic area by some invisible force, and he couldn't push against it. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get back to Kurt. If he just had a few more minutes to remind him, he _had_ to remember. He _had _to.

He jolted awake, hearing his fast breathing, harsh and scratchy to his own ears. Rain was beating against the window in the room, across from where he was sitting in his chair, the color of the sky and room dampened and muted in the overcast weather. He blinked about 20 times in a row, trying to clear his head and the tears that felt too hot to be in his eyes, finally scanning the room when he was calmed down.

He saw Finn, sitting in a chair a few places next to him, seemingly texting on his phone, but also shooting the occasional glance out of the corner of his eye in Blaine's direction, noticing his behavior and rapid breath. "You okay, dude?"

He nodded absently, and looked toward the occupied bed in the room, and he was there, still asleep, though his position had changed. Blaine just stared blankly at the boy there, breathing slowly as he came down from his nightmare. "He, um… He hasn't woken up, yet?"

Finn glanced to Kurt, then back to Blaine and put his phone down, shaking his head. "No… Well… The nurse came in and sort of woke him up. They have to…check his…_consciousness _levels…or something. But he didn't really see any of us or look around, he just went back to sleep… But that's fine," he added at Blaine's expression, "he's still really tired from the…thing this morning."

"From…? From his treatment, you mean."

"Yeah."

Blaine nodded jerkily, licking his lips in thought. "Oh," was all he said, wishing that he'd been awake for that, even if it wasn't really a big deal.

A low rumble of thunder rolled and sounded through the sky, and Blaine could practically _feel_ it and it moved through the building, and it made his bones shake. The weather had been sunny when he was last awake… A storm must've decided to come present itself.

Burt and Carole walked into the room, then, the latter holding a cup of coffee, the logo on the cup indicating she had gotten it down in the cafeteria. She greeted Blaine lightly but warmly, the same way she had when they'd first seen each other earlier that day. He wondered what his life would have been like if he had a mother than was so unconditionally caring. If he would have turned out any differently.

Burt caught sight of Blaine and narrowed his eyes at his somewhat disheveled state, his shoulders and hands still giving off remaining shakes from the dream that had so unpleasantly interrupted his nap.

"Hey, Blaine. Why don't you come down to the cafeteria with me? I was just gonna go grab a coffee and sit down and have a bite to eat."

The curly-haired boy glanced up to Burt at his words, seeing the man looking sincere as he held his hands in his pockets, nodding his head in the direction of the doorway. "Yeah. Sure…" Blaine stumbled to his feet, one of them deciding to fall asleep, and grabbed a hoodie from his backpack, slipping it over his head quickly.

"Finn?" Burt asked the tall teen, though mostly to be polite, because he knew his stepson had just eaten.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Alright. Come on, kid," he gestured to Blaine, and the two made their way out of the patient room area and down through the clinic.

S Building, Blaine had found out when he first entered the clinic, was the Neurological Institute. And it connected to the main entrance of the hospital, so it wasn't too far from the cafeteria and general guest services. It was terrifying though, he realized, seeing so many patients walking around that seemed unstable and mentally unaware. The fact that Kurt was in his area of the clinic and could practically be one of these people when he woke up scared him more than he was comfortable with.

Burt placed two cups of coffee and two trays that contained sandwiches and fries down, the sound of them hitting the table breaking Blaine out of his thoughts.

"Thanks," he murmured quietly, reaching out to grab the coffee, but not actually taking a sip, instead playing with the cup's sleeve absentmindedly, his eyes drifting somewhere else.

Burt just leaned back in his chair slightly, watching the curly-haired boy as he just sat there, still not eating or drinking. His eyes looked tired, and he seemed troubled.

"This's gotten ya real worried, huh?"

Blaine seemed surprised at the question, and the movement of his hand on the coffee cup ceased. "Of course it has…" He said, then leaned more forward towards the table, looking the man in the eyes. "Kurt is my life… My _life_, and if he were to forget me…?" He shook his head wearily at the thought. "I actually just…had a dream that he woke up and…he had no idea who I was," he confessed quietly, almost to himself.

Burt nodded slowly at this, tilting his head, watching as Blaine's face hardened and he sat up straighter.

"I don't know why you're surprised that _I'm_ worried about this. _You're_ the one who – who has practically _abandoned _him since he got arrested…" Blaine snapped, then blinked, breathing slowly to cool down from his outburst slightly, but keeping the intensity in his eyes. "Mr. Hummel, if I'm being honest… I really… I _really_ don't like the way you've been treating your son this last year. He's been struggling _so_ much…and you… You popped into his life suddenly. I… I don't get it," Blaine said finally, shrugging slightly, "Do you care about him or not?"

Kurt's father sighed, and he looked at Blaine for a long time, just really looked at him for a while. "How much do you know about Kurt's condition?"

Blaine's eyebrows knitted together, and he blinked a few times. "I don't know. I know he has depression. And I've been there during all his…medication changes."

The man nodded very slowly. "Did you know he's attempted to take his life before?"

Blaine just stared back at him. He'd heard things from Kurt that suggested things. He'd made guesses from the boy's behavior. But did he know? "No…"

Burt pulled his mouth into a tight line. "Yeah, well… He has. Officially twice, but there have been other…instances." Blaine just stared, not responding in any way. "The first time anything really…happened was when he was eight. His mother had just passed," Burt looked to Blaine, confirming that the curly-haired boy knew this, to which he nodded, "And I need to start first by sayin' that the whole time his mom was goin' through treatment, it was like Kurt was getting just as weak as she was. Now, when she finally died, Kurt would just…_stop_ sometimes. Just stop participating, living, however you want to think of it. We were walking one day and Kurt did his thing where he _stopped_. And he just looked out to the street and took a step out into traffic."

Blaine inhaled sharply through his nose, his eyes widening at the information and his mouth falling open just the slightest amount.

"I pulled him back. And I took him to talk to somebody, but they just said it was probably because of all the stuff going on with his mom. And that he'd probably get over it soon… And for the most part, he did get over it. Another few things like the day we went walking happened again… but in general, he got better, and he didn't really try anything for a while."

The curly-haired boy across from Burt brought his coffee cup to his lips, taking a deep sip and sighing at the caffeine. "He did recently, though," Blaine said, more of a statement than a question. "Since the… Well," he shrugged, not wanting to say it out loud to Kurt's father.

"The rape… Yeah… He – he obviously got… a lot worse after that happened. And when we took him to talk to somebody this time, we realized he'd been…not exactly happy for a while. Probably since his mom. But when we took him to see someone, they said he had somethin' called psychotic depression. It's like normal depression, but…well…worse and he couldn't get out of it. It was probably there for a while, but the attack obviously made it more obvious. They started him on some meds…"

"Is that when he…tried to…" Blaine blinked and cleared his throat, trying to think of what to say. "It's just… He told me things got pretty bad after he first got on medication."

Burt nodded again. "They couldn't really find anything that worked too well for him. We went through different doses every month or so, trying to find somethin' that worked. And yeah… Yeah, it was during those times that he…" Burt trailed off, sighing, looking not at Blaine, but to the wall behind him, his eyes unfocused. "The first time was with pills. My wife and I came home and he was…" the man took a deep breath, seemingly struggling with telling the story, "He was lyin' there, in his bathroom. He had been having a real hard time sleepin', so he had been prescribed sleeping pills, but he took all of them…"

Blaine was speechless. He just took both of his hands and folded them in his lap, staring down at the small lines and faint wrinkles that covered them, trying not to picture Kurt, _Kurt_, in a way that his father was describing.

"The next time… Well, it was something like what you had to deal with. He tried to cut himself and…it was pretty close that time… Closer than what happened when he was with you."

"But, no – Kurt said… This last time, it was an accident. He wasn't trying to _kill himself_, he was just cutting and—"

"Blaine… Kurt told me each time that he hadn't been trying to kill himself. It's the way he is with things… And after the second time, we found him a medication that…seemed to work. At least temporarily. It didn't make him any worse, at least… Then, well, everything went down and he got arrested," he nodded to Blaine, knowing that he knew the story behind that, and then licked his lips, "But right before he was sent to Dalton, they had him go through another mental evaluation and they figured he had PTSD symptoms still from the rape—"

"Yeah," the curly-haired boy interrupted slightly, nodding, and Burt raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean – I just mean that Thad – his roommate – saw it. He saw the evaluation with PTSD…"

Burt nodded. "Since then, because his medication wasn't workin' perfectly, they started him on some doses that would help with that, too. Things for his anxiety and sleeping… But… That's where we are now. None of those seemed to work too much."

Blaine just looked at the man, who wasn't responding with eye contact. "And… And that's why you don't…_didn't_…see him? Talk to him…?" The curly-haired boy asked, trying to find the connection between all the information Kurt's father had just shared and the original topic of discussion.

Burt shrugged. "If you've noticed with him… Kurt has a really hard time focusing on himself. He doesn't…_talk_ about what's wrong with other people because he doesn't want anyone to worry. Instead, he'll just go off and…well, cut himself, harm himself… After his rape, Kurt wouldn't do a single thing for himself because he wouldn't stop doing things for other people."

Blaine suddenly thought back to when he first met Kurt… How he spent time trying to help other people and even him. He spent weeks with Blaine during his heroin withdrawal, and recently, he'd been helping Jeff deal with his problems with Nick and his sexuality…

"I backed off from Kurt so that he wouldn't have any other distractions from himself… Because even with all the therapy and medication… He needed to heal himself to be okay again… _That_, and…the more I started distancing myself from him, I realized how hard it was to be around him again."

The teen narrowed his eyes, suddenly feeling second-handedly offended. "He's your _son_."

"Yes. He's my son. My son that I failed to protect and couldn't even make happy in his time of need… It was my way of trying to help him…while also…"

"Being fucking selfish?" Blaine offered bitterly, but still also sadly.

Burt looked at him a second before nodding. "While also being…_fucking selfish_…"

The two men looked at each other for a long moment before picking up their sandwiches and beginning to eat slowly and thoughtfully. Their coffee was still warm enough to heat up their bodies on the blustery day.

* * *

><p>When they returned to Kurt's room, he was partially sitting up and awake, and Finn and Carole were on either side of him, speaking quietly with gentle smiles as the pale boy himself still seemed mostly dazed.<p>

Blaine's breath left his body at the sight.

"Hey, kiddo, how're you feeling?" Burt smiled next to him and immediately approached his son, to which Kurt smiled weakly in return, still appearing slightly confused.

Blaine realized that Kurt's family had seen glimpses of him awake and talking, but for him, this was the first time he'd seen his boyfriend's blue eyes in the past two weeks.

"I'm…okay. I'm a little…" Kurt trailed off with a small smile, shrugging and making a vague, messy gesture. It was generally understood. "I… I kind of forgot why I was here when I first woke up…" He giggled, then stopped immediately once he caught sight of Blaine near the doorway.

"…Kurt," Blaine breathed, before he could stop himself, his body moving on instinct and walking near him and leaning closer to the pale boy, his eyes scared for a reaction.

"I… Uh… Hi," Kurt finally greeted, sounding surprised and breathless. "I… God, this is all…really confusing. I don't really remember what's been going on…"

Blaine licked his lips, not quite sure what that meant in terms of his presence. Did he remember Blaine, or not…? That response wasn't very conclusive…

"Oh, sweetheart, don't worry. You've been sedated and receiving treatments that can have that effect… Just relax and don't stress," Carole assured him, patting him gently on the arm in a way that was very motherly. "Now, I'm sure they're gonna want to do some sort of check on you, now that you're completely awake."

Carole called in a couple of nurses and suggested that the four visitors in the room give Kurt some time to breathe and relax.

And that's how Blaine was shooed from the room until the following morning, the doctor and Kurt's parents insisting they wait until Kurt is calm and coherent enough to not have another panic attack, as he apparently had during the beginning of his treatments. He instead found himself wandering the clinic campus with Finn and his girlfriend who had come to see him at some point, Rachel, but mostly not speaking to either of them. The dark-haired girl did ask him a few accusative questions and seemingly attempted to dig up dirt on his intensions with Kurt, but Blaine tried to mostly keep to himself.

They took a series of naps in different locations, some in the waiting room and a few resting their heads on the tables of the cafeteria. They had all woken up several times at odd hours of the night, silently worrying about Kurt, and Blaine was struck with surprise at how much Finn and Rachel seemed to care about him at all, given the situation of the past year or so.

It was 5 a.m. and they had all roused randomly, realizing they were sitting on chairs near the small café, and decided to get coffee. It was then that the curly-haired boy decided to not keep his mouth closed anymore, his sleep deprivation and delirium probably causing him to be honest enough to ask the questions that had been buzzing in his head all evening. Maybe it was influenced by Kurt's vulnerable state, or maybe he was just somewhat on a role of accusing people of their bad treatment towards his boyfriend.

"Why are you guys here?" Was how the question came out, or perhaps more accurately, how the question was mumbled. They were all in the corner of the simple coffee shop area, around a decidedly too-small round table, each of them attempting to claim space on it to rest their elbows.

Rachel perked up at Blaine's voice immediately, her face looked shocked and offended, albeit very tired. "Kurt's having really serious treatment, Blaine. Why _wouldn't_ we be here?"

He blinked a few times, almost unsure that she had just said those words. He also offhandedly noticed she liked using him name in sentences a lot, even though they'd just really met. "Because you've all pretty much…ditched him. I know you guys have kind of…" He made a gesture with his hand, trying to word his statement, "rekindled your old friendship, but don't you kind of feel like you're lying? I-it's not that I don't think it's great that you're here for him. Really. I love that he has support and everything… I guess it's just… Do you really still care about him? Or do you feel like you're supposed to?"

Rachel and Finn exchanged glances, and Blaine could tell their answer just from the way their eyes spoke. It was Finn who turned to Blaine this time, and the curly-haired boy took a sip of his coffee.

"Kurt's my brother… He's always going to be that. And he's also always going to be someone who was our best friend, you know? It's, like, different than that, though… It's like… You know when a distant family member has a baby and even though you don't really know them, you go and visit anyway?"

Blaine nodded, seeing where this was going.

"Kurt's like our family. He _is_ my family, but I mean for all of the old Glee club and his old friends from McKinley. It's like we have this permanent connection to him, so even if we haven't been around him lately, we still care. It's just how it is…"

The curly-haired boy thought about it for a moment and blinked, then nodded very slowly. He might not have a connection like that with his _real_ family, but Blaine knew what they meant. He was that way with his best friends at Dalton. With Kurt. They all _were_ like family…

He finished off his coffee and rested his head soundly on the table… And even the caffeine wasn't enough to keep him from slipping away into a light dream. When he woke up an hour and some minutes later to Rachel telling him they could finally go visit Kurt, he was still partially in his subconscious and had to shake his head a couple times to get his mind clear. He ran a hand through his curls and stood up to walk with them, trying to think of what he had been dreaming of. He couldn't quite remember, but he knew there was something with wings.

The three teens dragged themselves into Kurt's room, feeling all too familiar with the grounds of the hospital by that point. Though the sight they saw when they reached the doorway was well worth the struggling, tiresome night.

Kurt was sitting straight up in his bed, his father on a chair next to him, and the pale boy was talking animatedly, his hands gesturing here and there and his face broken out in a wide grin. Teeth-showing and all.

"Kurt!" Rachel gasped, bouncing towards him and giving him a hug, followed quickly, though perhaps less enthusiastically, by Finn. He smiled painfully wide, his eyes crinkling at the corners and returned their hugs, and was about to say something in return when he caught sight of the curly-haired boy slightly behind the view of the other occupants of the room, his smile fading from his face with rapid speed, instead turning into an expression that spoke different kinds of longing and desperation.

"Oh… _Oh_, Blaine," Kurt shot up, attempting to get out of bed, but restrained by the IV in his arm and the blankets covering him. He almost whimpered at the limitation. "Blaine, come here," he breathed out desperately, still attempting some kind of standing even in his condition, settling on a half-stance on the edge of his bed.

Blaine didn't know how quickly he moved and he didn't remember the journey from the doorway to Kurt's bedside, but the next thing he knew, he was enclosed in a pair of pale, soft arms, a scent of Kurt almost too overpowering, his eyes feeling hot and his face feeling the pressure of crying.

Kurt pressed a soft kiss to the side of Blaine's unshaven face, where his jaw met his cheek, and the feel of his lips against his skin was enough for the curly-haired boy to let out a quiet, shaky sob.

He didn't – he _couldn't_ – believe this was happening. Kurt was holding him, remembering him. He was in a state of shock, in a world of a daze.

"Oh, Blaine. B-before, when I saw you – I was so out of it, I…"

"Y-you remember who I am…?" Blaine asked roughly, having to know, to _know_, and hear it himself.

At this, Kurt pulled away slightly, still keeping his boyfriend close enough to feel the warmth, and Blaine could see there were tears in _his_ eyes, too. And his _eyes_, so beautiful and changing and the most confusing, complicated shades of sea and sky. Like a storm-turned ocean. The pale boy licked his lips once and brought a delicate hand up to cup the curly-haired boy's face, sliding his thumb over a tear that had escaped. "Oh, honey…"

They shared a very quick kiss, then, because they had to, but didn't let it linger because, yes, there were people in the room. They kept embracing for a little while, but when Blaine lowered Kurt back into his bed and sat down on the chair beside him, he rested his chin on his palm and smiled. Because he didn't give a fuck that he'd had to keep the kiss short, or that he'd have to leave to return to Dalton soon, because it didn't even matter as long as Kurt remembered him.

* * *

><p>"What's the last thing you remember?" Blaine asked Kurt idly in a whisper a few hours later, watching his eyes carefully as he let his finger drag patterns along his boyfriend's porcelain hand.<p>

The pale boy's eyes wandered and he let out a soft hum in thought. He tensed then, his lips coming to a line and his cheeks flushing deeply. He shot a quick glance to the occupied chairs in the room, filled by a sleeping Finn and Rachel, then leaned closer to Blaine, his voice coming out in a soft murmur. "Well… You were right about me remembering the last time we…" He trailed of and smiled a bit, his face timid and bashful. "At least… I think it was the last time…"

"It was…" Blaine scanned his blushing boyfriend and grinned devilishly at the sight, drinking it in. "Is that… Is that the last thing you remember?"

Kurt shook his head slowly. "No… I… I think I remember the day I left. Or… I… Something about Trent eating everyone's _carrots_…" He stared at Blaine for a moment with a small smile and raised eyebrow. "Did that really happen or did I dream that?"

Blaine let out an airy laugh. "No, no – it really happened…" His face got a little more serious. "That was the day before you left… Do you remember anything else? Anything from the past couple weeks…?"

The pale boy seemed to really be thinking hard about it as he let his tongue flick out to wet his lips, an act that Blaine's eyes were immediately drawn to. "I remember bits and pieces of things… I remember…part of the car ride… I was talking to my dad… And I remember a couple times being in the room they did the treatment. I can't really tell if it was one or more times that I remember, though."

Blaine nodded, then tilted his head, his brows furrowing in curiosity. "Do you…_remember_ what they did for the treatment? I mean, you were knocked out for that, right?"

Kurt nodded quickly. "Yes, of course," he assured quickly, then blinked. "I just… I remember them strapping me onto the table and they…put little things on my…forehead. And then they put a little cuff around my ankle so they can see when I'm having a seizure or something…"

"Wait, what?" Blaine looked startled at this information, and Kurt quickly attempted to explain it more accurately.

"It's just… They can tell when I'm under anesthesia that it's working if my toe starts…kind of twitching… It means it's working… I don't know, that's what they told me. I don't remember it, though."

Blaine nodded slowly, looking at him intently as the pale boy still seemed to thinking. "How's… I mean, do you forget anything? Just because they…talked about memory loss…"

Kurt shrugged. "I can't really tell. There's a few things…" He sighed, and thought for a moment before responding, his words coming out slowly and carefully. "It's like… I _know_ things…but I can't remember how I know them… You know? Like when you know the meaning of a word, but you can't remember what the actual word is. I think I hold the information that I get out of memories or situations, but I can't remember certain times or events…"

The curly-haired boy sighed at this, nodding his head understandingly and squeezing his boyfriend's hand gently. "But… Kurt." The pale boy looked to him. "Are you… Are you happier?"

Kurt was about to respond, opening his mouth to do so, but a small laugh, a giggle, came out instead and he shook his head in slight disbelief. "Blaine… It's… It's so _weird_. I know I must be, because I remember how horrible I felt all the time. _Now_, I don't feel anything. And not in the bad way, like when I was…emotionless. It's like, I just feel normal, and that must mean I'm happier, because before, I could feel the depression hanging over me all the time… But now that I'm like this, I can't even really remember what it felt like to be that way…"

The two teens smiled at each other and made eye contact, and Blaine placed his other hand where his first was, both cupping his boyfriend's pale one and just enjoying the moment.

They stayed like that for a while until a nurse came in, along with Kurt's parents, to begin his discharge. Finn and Rachel woke up and things were starting to move in the direction of Kurt and Blaine heading back to Dalton.

The nurse placed the clothes Kurt was originally wearing when he entered the hospital on the table beside his bed, along with a few other items. She held up two small plastic bags, addressing Kurt as she showed them to him.

"We also have the jewelry we took out before you started treatment," she told him, and he nodded, looking at the small bags. "We separated both the piercing we removed from your navel, as well as the one from your tongue and have placed them in separate bags, and they are labeled accordingly."

Kurt mumbled a thanks and smiled slightly as the woman left the room.

"_Tongue_?" Rachel's voice shrieked, her eyes big and concerned. "Kurt! Your voice can be greatly affected by having your—"

"Excuse me, Rachel," Burt cut in as he walked closer to the bed, his voice disbelieving, "Listen, Kurt, now I hope you didn't go get this pierced somewhere unsanitary, because kid, those things can get infected… Carole?" He turned to his wife, looking for support on the topic.

The woman raised an eyebrow. "You did…_go somewhere_ to get it pierced? This didn't happen while you were…in jail? Or at Dalton?"

"Oh, no, no," Blaine cut in, trying really hard to not smile, "we had it done at a parlor. The lady who did it was really good… Right, Kurt?" he nodded, looking to Kurt for confirmation, seeing him having as hard of a time as he was not grinning.

"….Kurt?" Burt urged, folding his arms across his chest and waiting for a response from his son.

Instead of getting words, he got a hysterical burst of laughter, followed by a series of small, uncontrollable giggles. Kurt gasped and snorted as he tried to hold back his reaction to his friend's and family's faces. "Y-y-yeah," he breathed, hardly, still laughing, "yeah, it was – it was clean and everything," another burst of laughter. "Y-you should see your f-faces right no-ow!"

After a short moment, everyone in the room let out long, hard fits of giggles, not even attempting to control themselves.

It was then, at 9:40 a.m., in the recovery room of the Neurological Institute that a moment passed as a boy hurt with laughter at his loved one's reactions to his face piercing.

And Blaine Anderson looked to this boy, seeing him lightly flow with laughter and life. The same life that had so recently crushed him beneath its weight.

It was then that Blaine Anderson realized that Kurt Hummel was going to be okay.

* * *

><p><strong>AN so here I'm gonna piss you all off with another note.  
>Just wanted to say that a lot of this was based on personal experience, and I know everyone has different results, but mine were particularly effective and positive, so I decided to write it that way. It's obviously tweaked for the situation of the story, but...well... it's still a story, remember?<br>Love to all ~**


	16. People

**A/N This took too long. I'm...just really really sorry.  
><strong>**No new warnings.  
><strong>**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

* * *

><p>"Hey, Jeff?"<p>

The blonde boy tensed, blinking a couple of times before drawing his eyes away from his dresser and instead focusing on the wall in front of him, distracted from his task of looking for a comfortable shirt to throw on. "Hm?" He hummed a response and forced his head down, as though still studying the items in the drawer in front of him, though he wasn't really looking at them.

Nick sat up on his bed, his eyes cast up to the ceiling in thought, then back to his roommate. "Do you remember…" his eyes narrowed slightly and he spoke slowly and purposefully, "…when we were ten?"

Jeff finally just grabbed a shirt and tugged it over his head, grimacing slightly at the odd feeling of some kind of coating, or extra layer of dirty skin he sometimes felt when he remembered everything that happened with Mr. Connors. He'd taken two showers that morning, but on days when he woke up just feeling violated at the memory, it seemed nothing could really help. At least he'd generally stopped getting sick.

Jeff waited for Nick to continue his statement, or elaborate, but when nothing came, he turned to glance at him briefly, catching his eyes for a moment before grabbing a comb and pulling it through his hair, facing away again. "Uh, yes. I recall that…year or so span of time… Anything in particular you're talking about?"

Nick pulled his knees into a crossed position and watched his roommate comb his hair for a moment before speaking. "I mean… That time we were ten and we were…walking home after school. When we missed the bus."

Jeff sighed quietly and his actions ceased, his mind wandering back over the past, thinking of the day Nick was referring to and blinking.

"The day it was raining," Nick supplied, wondering if his roommate wasn't catching on.

"I remember," Jeff said quickly, finally turning to face the dark-haired boy and giving him a tight, half-smile that didn't reach his eyes. He looked to the floor and shrugged, mumbling, "How could I not?"

Nick smiled half-heartedly at this, shrugging as well. His face then turned slightly more serious as he tried to catch his roommate's eyes. "I guess I just… Did you know then…? B-because, _I_ didn't, and I wasn't trying to mess with you or anything, I was just… We were really young, you know…?"

"I know," Jeff responded very quietly, moving to his bed and easing himself back onto it, stretching out his arms and legs and letting out an airy sigh at the welcome, Sunday morning light streaming in and casting warmth across his body. He let his head loll to the side, and met Nick's eyes. "And no, I didn't know then."

The dark-haired boy nodded silently at this, waiting a moment before speaking. "Really, though. I wouldn't have done it if I knew."

Jeff closed his eyes, inhaling deeply and resting his head back into the pillows. "I know, Nick."

A few moments passed and Nick was just watching Jeff rest with intent eyes, hating that he was practically ignoring everything that had happened between them at the blonde's admission. Jeff had been trying to pretend as though nothing happened at all, even though it was obvious their connection and relationship had changed. Jeff could hardly look him in the eye anymore. It was starting to get frustrating, but Nick had been patiently trying to understand the best he could.

"Jeff…?"

The blonde stretched his shoulders and arms, stirring from his light doze he had been falling into. "Mmm… Yeah?"

"When _did_ you know…that you're gay?"

Jeff sat up at this abruptly, then caught his reaction and tried to play off nonchalantly, shrugging and letting out a thoughtful hum. He turned to Nick and opened his mouth to respond, their eyes catching across the space of their beds. He felt his heart clench at the honest, open eyes he had looked into so many times.

_It's always been __him__ I've told things to first. _

Jeff blinked at the realization.

_Telling Kurt about Mr. Connors was the first time I told someone else a secret first…_

His mind flew to a series of different memories, flooding through with mental images of times he'd shared things with the boy he was looking at right then, whispering quiet, hushed words he was afraid to speak aloud, letting himself be vulnerable and trusting Nick enough that he didn't fear the reaction.

* * *

><p><em>"What! How'd you get a hundred on the test? It was so hard, I only got an eighty-two…" <em>

_Jeff smiled, slightly mischievous, and looked around where all the other kids were walking along with them to the bus stop, the second-graders from his class all holding their test papers they just got back. "Promise not to tell?"_

_"I promise!"_

_Jeff grabbed the dark-haired boy's hand, pulling him out of the main line of the student crowd. They stopped and leaned in close to each other, and Jeff grinned, one of his front teeth missing as he spoke in soft words. "I looked at Mollie's paper during the test!" _

_"Are you serious?" Nick's eyes were wide and disbelieving, but behind his expression was a smile._

_"Yeah, she always gets everything right, so I just looked over because we were sitting right next to each other. Most of the ones I had were the same as hers, so I only changed the ones that were different." _

_"Oh my gosh, Jeff, I can't believe you cheated!"_

_"Shhh," the blonde warned, but with a smile and a giggle, holding his finger up to his lips. He looked up suddenly, jumping slightly. "Come on, we need to catch the bus!"_

_And the two boys ran off, getting to the stop just in time for the first bus to allow them entrance before driving away. _

* * *

><p><em>Jeff closed the door of Nick's bedroom behind himself when he entered, smiling slightly at his dark-haired friend. <em>

_"Hi, Jeff! Hey, you should come see this—my mom got me Mario Kart!" Nick smiled excitedly at him, waving him over to the game system he had set up in front of his television. _

_The nine-year-old blonde boy hesitated before going to sit on the floor next to his friend, watching silently for a moment as Nick set up the game. _

_"Okay, so you can play as all the characters—but I call Luigi because he's awesome—!"_

_"Nick." _

_The dark-haired boy looked over at his friend, his features turning slightly serious at the blonde's expression. "What?"_

_Jeff glanced at the door, through which Nick's parents could be heard talking in the other room. He leaned closer to the dark-haired boy, placing a hand on his shoulder, his voice getting very quiet—hardly audible—when he spoke. "Nick… I saw my mom kissing my neighbor yesterday…" _

_"What?"_

_"Don't tell anyone! My dad would be so mad if he found out!"_

_Nick nodded quickly, his eyes never leaving his friend's. "I won't, I promise," he pulled his lips to a line and rested his hand reassuringly over Jeff's, giving him an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Jeff…"_

* * *

><p><em>"Nick…"<em>

_No response._

_"Nick, are you still awake?"_

_There was slight shifting next to Jeff on his bed and he could just hardly make out the outlines of his friend's face in the dark room turning towards him, his eyes still shut. "Mmm…"_

_The thirteen-year-old blonde stayed silent for a moment, not entirely sure if his dark-haired friend was actually sleeping or not._

_Nick hummed softly, bringing a hand up to wipe across his eyes, peeking them open blearily and scanning Jeff's face. "Wha's wrong?" he mumbled, his voice low and sleepy, getting his friend's attention. "…Can you not sleep?" _

_Jeff blinked a few times and turned over so they were facing one another, able to see each other only slightly as their eyes adjusted to the darkness. "Can I tell you something?" _

_Nick rubbed his eyes again, nodding through a yawn, though realizing the blonde might not be able to see him in the lack of light. "Yeah," he said lightly, attempting his voice for a tone of calm, of understanding and friendship, because Jeff did this. _

_He would build up to moments of complete selfishness—in the best possible way—moments of letting himself be the one getting the attention, opening himself up and being—exposed. Defenseless. He always asked. Asked if he could tell, could share or reveal a secret. _

_Because even after being friends for probably six years, Jeff was still like a lock. _

_He had so much inside, but needed a key._

_Nick could be that. He could be the key. So he always let Jeff talk. Encouraged him to. Said 'yes', 'yeah', and 'of course' when the blonde asked him if he could tell him something. Because it seemed he wouldn't unless he felt an acceptance of the offer._

_"My mom hit me this morning," and his voice was barely audible, cracking on a few words—not from emotion, but probably from straining to stay quiet—but Nick heard. _

_The dark-haired boy's eyes narrowed just slightly, and he always felt conflicted between getting upset at the things Jeff told him, and being a calm, comforting friend. He decided on the latter. _

_"I—I'm sorry… Are you okay? What happened?" His voice was still coming out slow and muddled with sleep, but he attempted to clear it as he sat up slightly, leaning on his elbow and resting his head on his hand, looking into the eyes of his best friend. _

_Jeff shrugged slightly, feeling himself getting choked up as his throat tightened. "Y-yeah. I mean… I was watching Chloe when my mom was getting ready for work and I wasn't looking for, like, one minute and she tripped over something and fell. She started screaming and my mom got really pissed." _

_Nick nodded, pushing a few stray dark hairs from his face. "Did she just—? Like, what did she…__do__, exactly…?" _

_The blonde licked his lips briefly, turning to avoid his friend's gaze for a moment, lowering his voice. "She… She just, like, hit me really hard across the face. Like, slapped me. A few times. Then she went to…calm my sister down and put her in her room. Then she came back out into the living room and started yelling and crap," he paused then, blinking, and sort of made a gesture with his hands as he spoke, "And she started—smacking me again, on my face and then on my shoulders and arms and stuff. And then she pushed me over into the table in the living room and just, like—walked out of the room." _

_At this, Nick couldn't help himself from reacting and getting upset, though still kept his voice a whisper, though sitting up slightly. "Holy crap. Are you serious? Shit." _

_Jeff nodded slowly. "Yeah. I mean—I don't think it's gonna bruise or anything, but it was just… It was weird. She's never done that before." _

_"Are you gonna tell anyone…?"_

_The blonde paused for a moment before responding, his voice barely audible. "I'm telling you."_

_Nick looked at him for a moment. "I meant, like…your dad, or something."_

_Jeff thought about it for a brief second, sort of rolling over to face away from his best friend. "No." _

* * *

><p>Jeff looked at his friend, then, remembering, <em>knowing<em>, he could tell him anything. That it'd always been that way for them. But something twisted in his stomach and he couldn't help but stray from the truth.

"I just…_figured it out_, Nick, okay?" He heard his voice coming out sounding defensive, but didn't care. Couldn't keep himself from putting on a face and turning away from the piercing gaze. Jeff saw the small disappointment and hurt flash across Nick's face, and he felt terrible, but couldn't force himself to apologize.

Nick scratched the back of his head absently, nodding. "Okay. Yeah—sorry. Stupid question, I was just wondering."

They sat like that, in silence that wasn't exactly comfortable or awkward, until both of their phones buzzed with messages, and Jeff snatched his up from his bedside table, looking at the text.

_hey come over to thads—W_

A message from Wes.

"It's from Wes. He says to go over to Thad's room," Jeff informed Nick quietly as he scooted off his bed, snatching a light hooded sweatshirt that had been lying on the floor and pulling it over his head.

The dark-haired boy glanced at his roommate as the blonde ran his hands through his damp hair, flattening and fixing it where the strands were sticking up due to the movement of putting on his hoodie. Nick grabbed his own phone, sliding off his bed as he checked the message, making sure it was the same text—which it was—and sighed deeply.

He had again unsuccessfully attempted a conversation with his best friend. He had again tried to bring up the big thing that had come between them, the one dent that had caused a flicker in their otherwise steady relationship. Friendship.

When Nick had convinced his blonde friend to help him steal a car, it had ended in a handful of tears, mostly laughs, and a four-year minimum sentence to a correctional reform school. And it still did nothing to hurt their friendship.

A confession of love was what it took to cause something to become wrong between them.

The two boys pushed gently on the already partially-open door, hearing a few varying voices speaking quietly as they entered Thad and Kurt's room.

Wes and David were murmuring to each other, seemingly lightly and casually, and Thad was on the phone, nodding and most likely listening to the person on the other end of the conversation. Trent was sitting near him, attempting to hear the other side of the line as well.

"Yeah, sure. And his—I mean—his memory's alright, then, I assume," Thad spoke suddenly to the person on the phone, gesturing Jeff and Nick inside with a wave of his hand. Thad crossed his arms then, his eyes shifting as he listened. "Will that change…? …Oh, okay… That makes sense. I—yeah, hold—yeah, Blaine, hold on a sec," he turned the phone into his neck and looked at everyone in the room. "I'm gonna put him on speaker," he announced and then pressed a button on his cell.

"Blaine…?" Trent asked hopefully, sitting up from his position on Kurt's bed, his eyes darting to make contact with Nick and David when rustling and background noise came from the phone's speaker.

_"Hey. Yeah, I can hear you. How, um—how are you guys?" _Blaine's voice came out crackly and soft from the connection, but still audible.

"Hey, yeah, we're pretty good over here—same, really," Nick supplied, smiling at the device in Thad's hand.

"Actually, your roommate got the shit kicked out of him," David remembered, shrugging slightly, grimacing.

_"Really?"_

"Oh, right… He's not too bad, though. It was something about money, I think," Wes added, nodding slightly.

"Jeff came out of the closet—you know—_fully_—"

"Thad. _Really_?"

"—only men, and all that."

_"I—wow. Really… That's awesome, Jeff."_ Blaine sounded slightly like he was caught off-guard by the topic, but happy, still. Perhaps amused at the situation, though.

"How's Kurt?" Jeff asked instead, breaking the stream of the other topic. All the eyes in the room trained to Jeff, out of surprise at the suddenness of his question, and also because they were eager for the answer.

There was a pause then, and the background crackling seemed absurdly loud in their anticipation. Blaine's side of the line sounded with a few noises, like shifting and moving, until he spoke again.

_"I already told Thad about this a little before…" _He paused again, and the occupants of the room leaned slightly closer to the phone subconsciously. _"But, he's doing… He's doing fucking…great."_

The boys in the room let out breaths they didn't remember holding in the first place, shyly exchanging relieved looks. Wes coughed slightly through the small silence that followed, where they all might have pretended it wasn't such a big deal, even though more than one of them had lost sleep over it.

"That's awesome, B," the Asian boy admitted quietly, earning nods and hidden smiles from everyone in the room. "So, uh… What now? Is he—? Or, I guess, are _both_ of you heading home now?"

Blaine let a hard, loud yawn escape him, and the speaker crackled as it hit the volume capacity. _"Uh—yeah. Yeah, soon. Kurt's dad is sleeping right now—We were all up really late last night, I didn't even really sleep. Just, you know, staying up and waiting to see Kurt, and everything. But, yeah, so after he wakes up, and the nurses check Kurt again, he's getting discharged. Burt said he'd drive us both back after." _

"Oh, okay. Cool," Trent said after a second of no one else speaking. They didn't know _what_ to say, they just wanted the boys back to them.

_"Mmm, yeah. Well, hey, I gotta go, someone's trying to talk to me over here. So… I'll see you guys soon."_

There was a chorus of 'bye's and 'see ya's and Thad ended the call and they all sat in their same positions around the room, stilled in silence aside from the sounds of breathing and slight adjusting and shifting.

Finally, Thad sighed and stood up—somewhat abruptly—and folded his arms across his chest easily. "I should probably clean up all the shit over there," he spoke reluctantly and looked with a raised eyebrow to the side of the room that belonged to Kurt, where clothes and school papers completely littered the area. Clothes and school papers that didn't belong to Kurt.

David let out of soft snort at the sight, shaking his head slowly. "And probably the bathroom, too, man. I went in there to piss and there's stuff _everywhere_. I couldn't find the sink."

Thad drew his lips together into a tight line and tilted his head, staring intently at the bathroom door as though calculating his actions, blinking thoughtfully.

"Seriously, though," Nick piped up, looking around at the mess they were in, an amused expression present on his face, "how did you survive before Kurt came along to clean up after your sorry ass?"

At this, Thad's eyes wandered to the ceiling in thought, squinting, trying to think back to that time, what? Seven? Eight months ago? His lips betrayed him and split into a small grin, and he let out a small silent bubble of laughter, his head shaking. "I don't even fucking know. I've gotten attached to the kid."

* * *

><p>Blaine gazed past the car window at the stream of light and colors. The buildings passing were anonymous pictures and sights, meaning nothing at all to him, but everything to someone else. He wondered what it'd be like to ever visit places outside of Dalton once he was able to leave.<p>

"Kurt…?" He mumbled quietly in the direction of the backseat, a question on his lips. When the fair boy didn't respond, he leaned back slightly, twisting to look at him. "Babe—?" The pet name caught on his tongue, and his eyes flickered to the driver's seat, where Burt was steadily staring ahead at the road, then back to his boyfriend.

His sleeping boyfriend. Lying down across the seats in the back of the Navigator.

They had only been in the car for around 20 minutes, but it seemed the events of the morning and past weeks had worn Kurt out.

Blaine let out a gentle, understanding hum at the sight, letting his eyes linger for just a moment before twisting back around to face the front of the vehicle. He drew his hands together in his lap, wringing his dry fingers together slowly in thought.

"I imagine it'll take a while for him to get back on track. With his sleeping, and all," Burt told him, bringing him out of his light, dazed thoughts. "He has to start up class again tomorrow, though."

Blaine just watched the older man, nodding slightly. "…Kurt'll be fine, though. And he has Thad and all of us to make sure he gets to his classes."

Burt chanced a quick glance to the curly-haired boy before directing his attention back to the road. "His roommate," he said, referring to the name Blaine had mentioned, confirming. The teen nodded. "That kid, he…? He treat Kurt okay? They get along well enough?"

Blaine snorted quietly, and Burt gave him a questioning look, misunderstanding the reaction. "Oh, no—yeah, they get along fine. Thad's just kind of…a hardass a lot of the time. He likes fucking—er—_messing_ with people a lot," Blaine shrugged, pausing and blinking before he continued. "It's funny seeing him getting worried about Kurt so much. It's not like him… He kind of treats Kurt like a younger cousin or something."

Kurt's dad glanced to his rearview mirror, catching just the slightest glimpse of his son in the reflection. "He older or something? A senior?"

"Uh, Thad? No. No, he's a junior, too. All of the…group… We're all juniors… Kurt's actually older than all of us, but… I don't know. I guess we all just take care of him," Blaine admitted quietly, glancing back again to his boyfriend. His voice was hardly audible, like he didn't often admit that there was a side of his friends that were overly protective of one another, even if it was clear it was there. "I guess we all kind of take care of each other."

There was a silence that followed, and Blaine briefly regretted stating his last sentence, as it hung heavy in the air during the time that no one spoke, and he wasn't sure whether or not it was uncomfortable.

"So, Blaine."

The curly-haired boy closed his eyes. This sounded like a bad start.

"I just… Well, when I first talked to Kurt after…he started at Dalton, I was pretty worried about him making friends with people at that school. They were…criminals, and even if he was one, too, it still wasn't easy to think about… Now, when he told me that you two were…well, involved, I was really worried. After everything that's happened to him…_intimate_ relationships can be real tough."

"We're not—" Blaine cut himself off, his eyes wide, trying not to think about how he was having this conversation with his boyfriend's father.

"I know—" Burt tried gently.

"_—fucking_, or anything. We're _not_," Blaine continued, gesturing with his hands in the air, trying to assure him that he would never—_never_—take any kind of advantage of Kurt.

"_Blaine_," Burt warned, and the curly-haired boy stopped, his eyes falling shut.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_ "F-fuck, I'm—_crap_—I'm sorry! I'm sorry."

The man didn't speak at first, and Blaine thought to himself. _Perfect. Freaking perfect. First time I meet the guy we talk about my heroin addiction and fast forward to me blurting out things about fucking his son…_

"Listen, kid. When Kurt first told me about you two, he told me that you hadn't, uh, well, been _together_ yet. That way, at least. And I guess I'm glad to hear that's still the case," he raised an eyebrow and Blaine felt his face heating up and—

_Why is this making me so embarrassed? I've had sex with tons of guys, yet him implying it between Kurt and I makes me feel like a 12-year-old virgin._

"_But_," Kurt's father took in a deep breath as they came up to a red light, and he turned himself towards the curly-haired teen, "after being able to talk to you, and see how much you care about him—about Kurt—I suppose I just wanted to say that I…" He paused and the light changed and he moved the car forward, the next words on the tip of his tongue. "I approve. Of you. Of you two together. I think if Kurt's going to have to go through being with someone after everything…you're mature enough to be able to help him through that."

Blaine's mouth dropped open, just the slightest amount, and he felt as though on autopilot as he felt his tongue slip out from his mouth to wet his lips. He almost said 'thanks', or 'cool', but realized _fuck it_, because he could be an adult about this and say what he felt, what he really needed to say.

"It really…means a lot to me. That you approve of me being with your son," he took a breath and spoke again in an airier tone, "so thank you."

Burt nodded slowly and sighed, his tone shifting when he next spoke. "Now, I would never say this in front of Kurt—Don't get me wrong, he _knows_ this, but I just… Well, his life has turned out a lot different than any of us had ever thought. But something he _doesn't_ know…is that I think he's a lot happier at Dalton than he would have been back at his old school."

The boy in question shifted and hummed softly in his sleep behind them in the backseat, and Blaine twisted to gaze at him, his eyes feeling heavy as they rested on the beautiful pale slumbering form. The air in the car felt thick with something, but Blaine wasn't sure what.

"His friends from home, they—they're _nice_. They _do_ care about him, but," Burt paused blinking with thought, "they're also pretty selfish. They're _kids_. They didn't help him as much as he might have needed it, and I think if he had gone through everything he did and ended up with _them_ instead of you guys… I don't think he would have been as well off as he is now."

Blaine bit his lip. "He might be…happy _now_, but…" He shrugged, thinking back to the recent months. "I sometimes think it was my fault he got so depressed. That I wasn't giving enough to him and helping him," he admitted, his voice quiet and muffled by the sound of cars buzzing around outside of the vehicle. Blaine cracked a couple of his knuckles nervously, and it seemed like the loudest thing he'd ever heard.

Burt was shaking his head back and forth, and Blaine cocked a curious eyebrow.

"What?"

"That's just it, kid. I said Kurt didn't know, but you don't either. I don't think any of you boys realize how much you saved him. Kurt was depressed, he was unhappy, yes. But…he got through it. He let himself rely on you boys, and based on what happened _before_ he met you. With his PTSD and depression, and landing himself in jail, it's clear you've done a lot for him."

"I—" Blaine let out a brief, humorless laugh, "I sure hope you're right… I mean, we always try to take care of him and—and we tell him he can talk to us…" Blaine trailed off, suddenly thoughtful and worrying he hadn't done enough.

"Did you know that when he got arrested…_none_ of his friends knew? About everything. Anything. It was only after his arrest that they heard what happened with the rape and depression and PTSD. And they didn't even hear it from Kurt," Burt added the last part with an eyebrow raise and glance in Blaine's direction.

Blaine nodded, breathing in deeply and breaking through the emotional haze that had swept up the space in the car. "We love him, I guess…" He let out a barely-there breathy laugh, then blinked, thinking, the smile falling to a small, delicate one. "I love him."

They sat in comfortable silence for a significant portion of the ride after that, Blaine's statement giving both of them some kind of content satisfaction.

As they neared busier streets, the noise from outside entering the car's interior increased, and at a stoplight, Kurt hummed and groaned, stretching to the extent that he could in the backseat of a vehicle as he began to stir. Blaine peaked around to the back, glancing as Kurt sat up messily, his hair completely flat on the side he'd been laying.

The pale boy leaned forward, wrapping his arms around the seat's headrest and around Blaine's chest, and he tucked his head into the curly-haired boy's neck. "Mmm. Hi, baby."

Blaine twisted to kiss him lightly on the head, sighing at the sensation. "'Morning, gorgeous. You really passed out, there, huh?"

Kurt laughed silently against his boyfriend's skin, nodding his head slowly. "That I did… Sorry about that…" He giggled again, smiling against the curly-haired boy's skin.

"Don't be…" Blaine glanced to Burt for a short moment, but he wasn't looking at them. He was watching the road. And maybe it was on purpose to give them privacy or maybe he was genuinely paying attention to his driving. He appreciated it either way. Blaine brought a hand up to gently brush across Kurt's fair cheek, resting there, near his neck. "Hey… I love you…okay?"

Kurt didn't move for a moment, but then nodded his head very slowly, his skin warm on Blaine. His touch across Blaine's chest perfect and hot and delicate. Intimate. And he nodded. _Okay_. Because of course Blaine loved him. And he loved Blaine.

* * *

><p>"Kurt!"<p>

The pale boy took in a quick breath, a grin breaking across his lips as he looked over to the door next to his, open and containing the dark hair of a certain neighbor. Kurt dropped the doorknob he was about to turn, his small duffel bag forgotten on the floor as he let Nick come forward to embrace him in the hallway, Blaine grinning by their side.

"How're you…doing?" Nick asked carefully as he pulled away, and Jeff must have heard him as well, for the blonde appeared suddenly in their doorway, his hair sticking up and messy, his lips curling into a slight smile.

"I'm… I'm good," Kurt shrugged, smiling, trying to think of words to use. "I'm… It's hard to explain, but… I'm…better," he let his eyes scan the two roommates in front of him, eyes falling on Jeff, who was standing with his arms crossed over his chest, watching Kurt with interest. "Come here, idiot," Kurt said through a laugh, holding his arms out.

Jeff's lips split into a smile and he took one long stride and clapped his arms around the paler teen, shuffling forward once in the hold, getting closer to Kurt and grasping him tightly, his eyes squeezing shut as he swayed them.

"Hey… How've you been holding up?" Kurt whispered into Jeff's ear, hardly-audible, so only the blonde could hear it.

Jeff's eyes blinked open and he tongued his lip ring briefly, shrugging as much as he could in the embrace. "I need to talk to you later," was his hushed response.

Kurt let out a hum loud enough for everyone to hear and pulled away, opening his mouth to speak, but hesitating, his brows furrowing and his lips quirking up. He grabbed Jeff's forearms and held him at arm's length, eyes scanning over his form with a cocked eyebrow. "Have you gotten _taller_?"

Jeff let out a short bark of laughter, shaking his head. "I, well. I don't know. I think so. Maybe not in the two weeks you've been gone, though…"

"I might've not…been in a place where I would have noticed in the past few months," Kurt admitted with a shrug, letting go of Jeff's arms and turning to glance at Blaine before returning his eyes to his blonde friend. "But honestly, Jeff. You seem taller." He raised an eyebrow teasingly. "How are any of us supposed to get men with you as competition?"

"Hey!" Blaine huffed from behind Kurt with a small smile and raised eyebrow, and the pale boy just laughed in response, reaching around to throw his arm around the curly-haired teen's neck, pulling him forward and more into the circle.

Jeff ducked his head at the compliment, but Nick raised a hand as though in protest. "Don't encourage him, Kurt. Jeff keeps saying he's had a growth spurt, but I know it's bull. He just stands up straight and pretends to be taller," he smiled at his roommate, but Jeff's face fell slightly.

They had a sort of ongoing joke when Jeff would continuously insist he had grown, and Nick would always deny it. It was usually lighthearted and good-natured, but with the tension going on between the two friends, Jeff suddenly didn't find it very funny. It made him wonder if Nick always had to go against him. If he had to deny what Jeff knew. If he had to bring up confessed feelings when Jeff was clearly choosing not to.

"Well," Blaine mumbled, catching Kurt's eye in the awkward mood that swept up the group, "I'm sure the rest of the guys probably wanna see you, Kurt," he tried quickly, wanting the tension to break.

"Oh, um—" Nick gestured vaguely towards Kurt's door, blinking, "—they're actually all in your room. Or—they were earlier. Probably still there."

Kurt raised his eyebrows in surprise and smiled, moving to open his door, Blaine, Nick, and Jeff on his heels.

He was met by the sight of Wes, David, Trent, and Thad all crouched on his roommate's bed, staring intently at the screen of _his_ laptop, seemingly very interested. At the noise of his entrance, the four all looked up and smiled, three of them springing to their feet after spotting Kurt, Thad closing the computer slowly and crossing his arms, smiling.

Wes, David, and Trent all sort of came together in a big hug, murmuring to Kurt greetings and hellos. The pale boy smiled to them, then shifted his eyes to his roommate, just watching them all interact with an almost-smug smile on his face, still on his bed. Kurt raised an eyebrow with attitude, a smirk falling on his lips. "No hug, Thaddeus?"

Thad teasingly scrunched his nose up at the name, sliding off the bed and approaching his roommate slowly, tugging Kurt somewhat-roughly into a hug, muttering, "Don't fucking call me Thaddeus, asshole," with a laugh and smile, holding the boy close to him, surprising both everyone and nobody at the same time.

They stayed like that for a while, and Kurt could swear he felt Thad's breathing coming out in slight stutters, and he brought up a hand to pat gently on his back, earning a sigh from the dark-haired boy.

"I—" Thad blinked, taking a breath and letting it out slowly, pulling his emotions back in, "I'm sorry I stole your laptop without asking you," are the words that left his mouth, sounding what could only be described as attempted-casual and nonchalant.

Kurt nodded against his shoulder, smiling at the idea of the whole thing. He thought back to when Thad hadn't believed he was at Dalton because of self-defense, and confessed to Kurt that he had a hard time sleeping the first night they shared a room because he wasn't sure if the pale boy was dangerous or not.

There was so much unsaid in Thad's statement, and Kurt knew that.

Maybe _I'm sorry you got so depressed._

_I'm sorry you had to go through electroconvulsive therapy._

_I'm sorry I didn't notice enough when things got bad._

_I'm sorry I didn't do more to help when things got bad._

_I'm sorry this all happened._

Maybe none of those things, or perhaps all of them.

"It's fine, Thad," Kurt said softly, pulling away and giving his strange roommate a slight smile, exchanging brief glances with the others in the room, who all had subtle amused expressions on their faces.

Thad nodded, and when his gaze caught Blaine, he turned to the curly-haired boy slowly, his eyebrow raised in suspicion. "You're gonna need to tell us how you escaped and got back in without trouble, B…"

Blaine scoffed, shaking his head. "You'd be fucking shocked at how simple it was…"

David cleared his throat loudly and purposefully, interrupting their brief conversation, and everyone drew their attention to him. "Well, why don't we head over to Arts and you can tell us about it…?

Everyone sort of furrowed their eyebrows in confusion, exchanging glances, but nodding hesitantly nonetheless. At their expressions, David smiled, reaching into his pants pocket and retrieving a small plastic bag. Inside, a few nicely-sized buds were visible, and everyone in the room lit up with understanding.

"Hope none of you have homework to do tonight. This shit's amazing."

* * *

><p>"Light it, then—yeah. Suck in… Keep sucking—okay. Now, pull out the slide," Blaine paused then, taking the lighter from Kurt's hand and watching him fumble slightly with the slide and tugging it from the bong. "Okay! Okay, now suck it in…"<p>

Thad raised an eyebrow, watching his roommate intently as he moved to pull the bong away, choking out a hard cough. "Hey! No, get the rest of that. No one wants your fucking stale smoke."

Kurt shook with coughs as he attempted to suck in the rest of the smoke from the chamber, finally succeeding when it was clear. He gagged and choked, unable to control his coughing, placing the bong on the floor beside him. "Ho—holy sh-shit," he accepted the bottle of water Trent passed him, trying for a small sip between coughs. "I'm'unna—" cough, "—_die_."

"You okay…? Hey, come on…" Blaine smiled fondly, patting his boyfriend's back and running his hand up and down it slowly as the pale boy's coughing began to ease up.

"Okay, okay… I'm fine… I…" Kurt let out one more small cough, inhaling deeply afterwards. "I'm fine… I don't know why the hell you all made me go first…"

Blaine breathed out a light laugh as he picked up the bong, beginning to light it for himself, glancing to David, who shrugged with a smirk. "Rules, Kurt. It's your first time using a bong. First timers always go first. Also, always pass to the left."

"_Always_," Nick echoed, nodding his head slowly, his eyes shut.

Blaine blew out his smoke mostly smoothly, smiling, with only one good cough leaving his lips. He looked at Kurt's raised eyebrow and skeptical expression, a laugh escaping him. "It's true, babe. It's David's weed, so you gotta follow his rules."

Wes rolled his eyes, snatching the bong and lighter from where Blaine had left it. "Except for the one about first timers having to take the most hits. Don't follow that one. That's just him trying to be an asshole."

Everyone in the room wore confused expressions, and David snorted, shaking silently with laughter. "You were the only one I applied that rule to, Wes."

Wes huffed, passing the bong along to the left after he was finished. "Dick. I was so fucking high I was scared to move." Everyone laughed in response to this, but the Asian boy shook his head. "No. No, it wasn't funny. It was the first night we lived together and I smoked, like, _ten_ hits because he kept telling me I had to do more than him."

At this, the boys in the room gave Wes varying looks of judgment and surprise. Also amusement.

"Bro…" Trent started, pausing, squinting his eyes at the Asian boy with a disbelieving face. "Why would you _ever_ take _ten_ hits…?" Wes rolled his eyes, not saying anything, so the bigger teen continued. "Like, was it from a joint, or—?"

"No, it was from this," David said, gesturing with his bong that had found its way to him in the circle, taking a long hit from it. After he blew the smoke out, he blinked, laughing loudly. "And it was _hilarious_. He tried to eat the same chip for 20 minutes."

"I told you. I couldn't _move_. I was fucking terrified."

The boys laughed at his serious tone, and even Wes breathed out a small giggle despite himself. And they passed around the weed, finishing most of it off, each of them reaching a surprisingly intense high.

Kurt sat on a couch, his eyes very narrowed and fuzzy. He thought back to the times he had gotten high during January, and even before, in December. Those times had been a kind of dulled mental state, an escape from his thoughts and an inability to really think of anything.

This time was different. He wasn't sure if it was because of the ECT, because he was feeling so much better in general, or if it was the fact that he smoked with a bong for the first time and had gotten extremely high. Either way, he felt as though everything was in freakish clarity, and his thoughts were running with themselves at a pace so fast it made him laugh in disbelief.

It was incredible. And it was something he was enjoying.

Kurt's bloodshot and glasz eyes caught a blonde head of hair across the length of the room, sitting on the floor with David as the dark-skinned boy talked slowly but animatedly, and it seemed Jeff was listening half-heartedly.

Jeff apparently was affected by smoking as much as he was—if not more. Kurt wondered how he was holding up.

_That reminds me,_ Kurt thought blearily, blinking a few times to attempt to make a clear thought, _I still need to talk to him about everything that's happened with Nick…_

"Hey, sexy."

Kurt drew his eyes slowly to the form standing in front of him, speaking to him. He felt an automatic smile spreading across his face, his eyes crinkling up even more than they already were from the weed, the highs of his cheeks hurting from his grin. "Hi, baby," he greeted Blaine leisurely, tilting his head sideways as the curly-haired boy smiled in return.

"So… This _morning_, I—uh—"

Kurt yanked him down to the couch, pulling him forcibly on top of him and into a wet kiss.

Blaine let out an irrepressible laugh at this against Kurt's mouth, pulling away just the slightest amount. "May I help you?"

Kurt nodded, his eyes blurring as he did so, pulling his boyfriend close once again and leaning back so they were horizontal. "This feels amazing right now," he murmured, and connected their lips.

Blaine breathed out through his nose against Kurt's skin, making the pale boy shudder in excitement and emotions and sensations. It'd been too long since anything had felt this good.

Kurt let his hands wander on their own accord, not allowing himself to overthink anything or limit his touching. His fingertips found their way to the tightest curls at the base of his boyfriend's neck, and he tugged them slightly, feeling the skin of Blaine's neck heating up and prickling with goose bumps.

A long, quiet groan was let out from Blaine as he shifted his head, tilting it for a better angle to slip his tongue against Kurt's lips, past them, then, entering his mouth and against his tongue, against his piercing and tingling, shivering, _vibrating_ from head to toe at the oversensitive amount of touching they were doing while being shamelessly blazed.

It was just that—slow, slow kissing. It was lazy and intimate and full of hot touches and gentle breathing that Blaine and Kurt spent an undetermined amount of time. It was hard to tell in their states of mind. It was soothing more than arousing. And delicate rather than sexy. It was perfect and what they needed.

The undetermined amount of time passed, the hour—late, probably, if the light of the day streaming in at a low angle was any indication. The air in the room was warm and somehow soft and the boys—all of them—had gravitated to the area near Blaine and Kurt, the area with the most couches, feeling the perfect amount of relaxation without falling asleep.

"B…"

The curly-haired boy pulled his lips away from the heat of his boyfriend's, reluctantly, and let his head fall in the direction of the voice that spoke his name, finding a droopy-eyed, smiling David. "Y-yeah, man?" He found his voice scratchy and cleared his throat.

"You never told us how you got back into campus."

Blaine blinked a few times slowly, heavily, and stared blankly for a moment before a few hard giggles left his mouth. "Okay…" He paused, giggling again. "Okay, so. We pulled into the gate, and we… Well, the security guard who let us in the gate didn't notice I wasn't supposed to be off campus… And we just went right into the office to check Kurt back in. It was us two and his dad…"

Kurt smiled at the memory, his eyes crinkling up at the corners when he grinned. He tucked himself behind his boyfriend where they were lying on the couch, slinging a hot arm over Blaine's stomach as the curly-haired boy continued talking.

"When we were in there, I just stood there, like… Like it was totally normal for me to have been there. And finally, the lady at the office there that deals with absences and stuff saw me and was totally staring at me for five minutes before she was, like, 'Blaine Anderson? You've been on level one of missing students since Friday. You've missed class, meals, and curfew checks.' And I was just like, '…I was sick?' And then she just, like, didn't even fucking question it at _all_ and just…cleared me from my absences. I'm not even on probation."

It was probably the states they were in, but the boys in the room took a few moments of silence and comprehension before trembling with silent laughter for far too long, all collapsing back onto their respective spots on the floor and couches, sighing with relief again as the room fell into silence.

It wasn't until Jeff separated from the others, and slowly made his way to the bathroom about 25 minutes later, that Kurt removed himself from his boyfriend. Hesitantly, perhaps. He was immediately struck with a lack of warmth and felt an involuntary shiver run through him, and curled an arm around his front, pushing the bathroom door open with his free hand.

The blonde boy he was looking for was standing at the urinals, his hand against the wall, bracing his weight as he relieved himself.

As the door shut behind Kurt, Jeff turned to see who had entered, and gave a small half-smile as he zipped his pants up, nodding in acknowledgement before turning forward to flush.

As he made to wash his hands, Kurt leaned up against a near wall, momentarily distracted by how…_swooshy_ all his movements felt.

"Hey, Jeff?"

"Hm?" He turned to him curiously, raising his eyebrows as he ran his hands down his jeans to dry them.

"I, uh… Well." Kurt let a small, tight smile grace his features. "Blaine told me," he tried lightly, his voice going up at the end and changing tone.

Jeff just furrowed his brows slightly in confusion, tilting his head, his arms folding to cross over his chest.

"About…you coming out. Uh…'_fully_,'" he specified with a small smile, watching Jeff's features closely for his reaction, his eyes feeling heavy and tired. When the blonde quirked up his lips slightly and nodded his head, Kurt's face fell to a softer look. "I…think it's fantastic, Jeff."

Jeff shrugged, ducking his head a little but nodding, his lips curling up. "I—yeah," he paused, and looked at Kurt, blinking, his eyes sincere. "Thanks."

Kurt nodded, and there was a beat of silence. "Look," he started and took a deep breath, his eyes finding the ceiling, "I know I've been a really shitty support system for you since this has all been going on—"

"You know I don't think that—"

Kurt held up a hand to stop him, and continued after a hazy pause. "I know you don't. But, I have been—well. I _was_… I couldn't… I mean—I _tried_, but, I wasn't there for you as much as I needed to be… This is a tough thing, Jeff, and…I'm really glad you had the guys to help, but… I just wish I had been able to help, too."

The blonde smiled, one shoulder coming up in a lazy shrug, his eyes droopy. "Kurt, come on. You help me _all_ the time. It would be freaking insane of any of us to have expected you to…" he trailed off, trying to come up with the right words, a small breathy, humorless laugh escaping him, "focus on anyone else when you were in the state you've been in."

The pale boy bit his lip, shrugging slightly. "…So, what's happening with Nick?"

Jeff's lips pulled into a tight line and he exhaled loudly from his nose, rolling his eyes. "I—ugh… Pretty much the same since you left. He keeps trying to talk to me about it, but I don't want anything to fucking—_change_ and get weird."

Kurt gave him a sympathetic look, tilting his head.

"Like—for example—a few days ago, he asked me if I wanted him to stop _changing_ in front of me. Like, if it made me uncomfortable. Like—what the hell? I told him that _nothing_ is different and he just keeps trying to ask me about it. He thinks I'm…_mad_ or something, but I just want to drop it. I want it to go back to how it was before I screwed everything up like an idiot," Jeff had one hand tangled in the bangs of his hair, his eyes closed and frustrated.

"…Hey… Calm down, okay?" Kurt told him airily, his fingers slow as he reached out to grasp his friend's shoulder. "I'm sure he's just… It's _Nick_, right? He just wants everything to be okay. Maybe if you talk to him about it more, he'll…understand. He'll drop it."

Jeff nodded, gently, his head heavy and his tongue smoky. "…You're probably right. It's—hard. I just… I never actually told him about what happened with Mr. Connors. And I want to talk to him about _that_, but… I feel like it's just…an overload of _shit_."

Kurt let out an involuntary hiccup of laughter at the phrasing, and the blonde smiled. "I… I understand. But just remember he's your best friend, okay…? Um," Kurt stood up straighter, his head snapping towards the door of the bathroom. "We… We should probably get back to everyone… They probably think we're, like, exchanging stoned handjobs or something," he mumbled, grimacing at his own words.

The blonde snorted and began uncontrollably cackling, his chest shaking with laughter. "I'm so high—I don't even—I have no idea how long we've even been in here."

The boys both exited the bathroom, and found their way slowly into the main room, both trembling with silent giggles.

* * *

><p>"Mmm," Kurt hummed in frustrated thought, his brows knitting together. "We're supposed to do number six, right?"<p>

The lot of eight was splayed out in Nick and Jeff's room, at the blonde's private request to Kurt for some company in order to help ease the tension that seemed to fill the air between the two roommates these days.

It was Tuesday. And Jeff had taken Kurt's advice of attempting to talk to his roommate, but it was a failed try, and nothing between them had improved. If anything, it had worsened.

Kurt was currently attempting to catch up on all the assignments he had missed in the two weeks he'd been busy getting treatment, and his friends were helping him through the work.

"…Yeah. Two to nine," David replied absently, shielding the cigarette in his mouth with one hand as he tried to light it with a match. It finally lit and he took a puff, glancing to the pale boy on the floor beside him. "Need help with it?"

Kurt took a deep breath, exhaling and running a hand down his face tiredly. "I don't—Did you guys learn how to do this thing they're asking with the coefficients while I was gone?" He glanced to David who furrowed his brows as he leaned his head, looking at the problem. When the dark-skinned boy said nothing, Kurt flipped through a few pages in his notebook. "It's just—It's not in the catch-up notes she gave me…"

Wes made a humming noise from Nick's bed where he was finishing the Calculus homework as well. "No… Kurt, that was the stuff we learned, like…a few months ago. We're just reviewing it."

The pale boy's expression grew even more confused and he unconsciously bit the end tip of his pencil, deep in thought. "…_Really_? I don't remember doing this at all."

At this, Wes and David shared a glance, then turned to give Kurt a strange look. David tilted his head. "We had an entire section test on this… You helped _both_ of us to study it because you really knew it." The pale boy got an odd look in his eyes, his head turning away from his friends. By this point, the other five occupants of the room had taken notice and aside from very slight, occasional scribbling, the air was silent.

"You got a pretty high grade on the test…" Wes added with a raised eyebrow, not sure what else to say.

Finally, Blaine stood from where he was sitting at Jeff's desk and walked silently and slowly to where Kurt was lying on the floor. He bent down beside him, taking in his frustrated, upset face, and sat down, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "Um… Do—Do you think it's—?"

Kurt twisted his mouth and nodded subtly, not looking anyone in the eye as he stared down at his paper, his face falling to look expressionless. "Probably," he said, lightly, as though it wasn't the big deal that it was, his head turning up to meet his boyfriend's gaze briefly. "They said it could be like this after treatment," he said in a monotone voice, shrugging, shutting his Math book and notebook, instead opting to do some lab questions he needed to catch up on, "Just random chunks of my life that I can't remember."

Blaine mouthed words helplessly, finally just leaning down to press his lips against his boyfriend's head softly, exhaling from his nose, the breath ruffling a few strands of chestnut hair. Everyone was generally silent, and Kurt realized after a beat how his comment had sounded. Bitter, and probably ungrateful somehow.

"I mean, it's worth it, though," he shared after a moment, and the boys that had resumed doing their assignments turned to him, curious expressions in place. "Nothing else was working, and… I feel better than I have in…a _really long time_," he nodded slowly, thoughtful. "I wasn't _always_ as depressed as I got—you know—these past few months, but…there had been a strong..." he trailed off, eyes narrowed in focus, "…_tugging_? A _pull_ of some kind that could easily bring me to a bad place. And now, that's just… It's gone."

"…Do you feel, like…really different?" Nick asked him, leaning up on his elbows from where he was on his bed, lying on his stomach.

Kurt tilted his head, his expression a little fond and sweet as he nodded. "Yeah. I—well. Well, I feel similar to when I was in…_good_…times, back before treatment… The way I think about it sometimes is… Like a shirt with a stain on it, the…depression being the stain. And sometimes, it'd be huge, and you couldn't _not_ notice it. It would be impossible to ignore. And sometimes, it'd be tiny, like, nobody would even see it, but you always _knew_ it was there. And those would be my _good_ times, but even if they were better, without constant sadness, the small feeling would never be gone… And now… I feel like there's nothing there. No stain or any _pulling_ feeling at all."

Everyone just stared blankly at him, almost overwhelmed by the idea of always having a small spot of yourself that was sad.

"So, to answer your question," Kurt continued, a small smile on his face as he directed his statement to Nick, "I feel completely different than how I was these past few months. And I feel like a…better, different version of myself in general… Maybe without some of the Calculus skills, but," he shrugged, glancing to Blaine, who had smiled at him, "happier. Better."

Thad coughed a little purposefully, getting the pale boy's attention. "So. So, that's it, then? That's all it took to…fix it? I mean, are they gonna put you on any meds? Because…those didn't really work."

Kurt stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. "Well—no, they have me on a low dose of an SSRI antidepressant, which… Well, it's the one that I had the best results with at the time, and now that I'm at a good place, it's usually a good idea to keep my serotonin levels where they are. Also… I have to go in every two weeks for a while to get a maintenance ECT treatment."

"Wait. Bro, are you serious? You have to do that every two weeks?" Trent spoke quietly, surprise evident in his voice.

The pale boy shook his head quickly. "It's a single treatment, and it's an outpatient procedure… I'll drive out with my dad, or stepmom, and have it done and be back the same day. After a while, they'll have it down to one every six weeks. Then…eventually down to every few months. It's just to prevent a relapse."

Nick stared at Kurt, his face scrunched up in confusion and thought. He finally snapped back into reality and shook his head, training his eyes back down to the work in front of him. "Well, shit… Now my head hurts from thinking about that. And I still need to do math."

A few laughs were let out among the boys in the room, and everyone generally went back to focusing on their assignments.

"Jeff. What did you get for 12?" Nick murmured, his eyebrows knitting together.

The blonde, still uncomfortable speaking with his roommate and trying to not do so any time he could manage, didn't pick his eyes up from the problems in front of him. "Mmm… Ask Blaine."

Nick snapped his eyes up to Jeff, slight irritation present on his face. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed his roommate's avoiding behavior, but sometimes it got on his nerves. All he was doing was trying to get things back to normal and have his _god_ damned friend back.

"Jeff, Blaine isn't _in_ our _class_."

The blonde casually glanced up, scanning the room, eyes landing on Trent, and moving back to focus on his work. "Trent is. Ask Trent."

"Dude, I'm not working on math."

"Jeff, just—what did _you_ get for 12? It's not that hard to look," Nick said, and David and Thad let their gaze shift to him momentarily, hearing the frustration in his voice, which was nearly _never_ present, especially regarding Jeff.

Jeff sighed, flipping his notebook page to scan the back of it, humming absently while looking for the problem. "9.3 percent," he answered, glancing up to Nick to see his confused reaction before continuing on the problem he'd been working on.

"Yeah, that's what I got, too, but it's wrong."

Jeff glanced at him, quirking an eyebrow. "…What? No, it's not."

Nick shrugged, flipping the pages of his Math book. "Yeah. It says in the back of the book that the answer should be 12.2."

The blonde rolled his eyes, an action not unseen by Nick, and sighed heavily, his shoulders moving up in a shrug. "Whatever."

Nick looked at him expectantly, tilting his head. "…Well, do you wanna work on it with me? We're probably doing a bunch of them wrong if we messed that one up."

His roommate glanced to him, attitude clear on his face. "Uh, no… I don't really care. I'm just gonna…pretend I never saw it. I just want to finish these problems."

Something in Nick snapped.

"You're pretty fucking good at that," he spat out, earning everyone's attention and shock, "pretending shit never happened."

Jeff put his pencil down eerily slow, turning his head to look at his roommate. "Really, Nick? Fucking _right now_, you want to get into this? _God._"

"Well, there really isn't any better time to talk about this! You've been making sure we're _never _alone, and you do your damn best to avoid talking to me!" Nick sat up on his bed, facing his roommate who was on his own respective bed, sitting against the headboard.

The blonde let out an exaggerated sigh. "For the love of—! Not everything I do is about you, you know? Stop being so freaking selfish and dramatic! You're such a fucking idiot sometimes, you know that? Just drop it and get over it."

Everyone in the room shrunk at the anger between the two members of the group that tended to have the most calm tempers.

Nick scoffed loudly and humorlessly, taking the supplies in his hand and tossing them onto the ground beside him, shifting to the edge of his bed to face Jeff more clearly. "I'm _sorry_ I want to work shit out with you. And—oh, I'm a fucking idiot? Nice, Jeff. _You're_ the one who's fucking in love with me. What does that say about you?"

He knew it was a low blow.

This was the first time they'd really fought at all, at least to this extent. And it wasn't going well.

Jeff's mouth hung open, along with a few of the room's occupants'. "_Wow_, Nick. Fucking throwing that back in my face? That—ugh!" He stood up angrily and paced the room before spinning back around to face him. "I fucking _knew_ that would come back at me. You're _so_ fucking immature, and yeah. I don't fucking know what was wrong with me! God knows what I see in your pathetic ass!"

"H-hey, you guys, come on," Blaine tried, his voice stern, putting his hand up to attempt to ease the yelling. "This is going _nowhere_, just—we have a lot of work to get done."

The two fighting friends, still huffing angrily with heavy breath, returned hesitantly to their work, Jeff slowly walking to his bed and sitting down, shooting Nick an annoyed look, hurt present behind his eyes.

"Okay…" Trent coughed a little awkwardly, holding up a small book and waving it. "We should all work on the essays. Because we have to edit each other's."

The boys in the room took it easily as a distraction, nodding in agreement, occasionally chancing concerned glances in the directions of the two roommates who had been fighting.

All eight students were rifling through their possessions, searching for their essay rough drafts.

"Thad, wanna do mine? We're kind of writing about the same thing," Wes asked the dark-haired boy quickly, glancing at him.

"Sure, I—"

"It's just…" Jeff cut their conversation off, a troubled look etched on his face, folding his hands together. He glanced at Nick, obviously ignoring everything that had happened and continuing from their argument, though his voice was void of anger and instead soft and careful. "It's just… I want to be back to how we were before. I don't _want_ to mess us up…"

Nick stared at him for a long time, until sighing heavily. "We aren't messed up, Jeff. We're just…going through shit right now. And things _can't_ go back to how they were. Our whole dynamic has changed—"

"But it doesn't have to!" The blonde all but shrieked, throwing his hands up. "That's why I just want to—_ignore_ it. Because we really don't have to change anything. I won't _gay_ out on you, or—or act any different—"

"But you already _do _act different, man. Jeff, you acted different before you even _told_ me. I'm just fucking sick of you pretending nothing happened! If we talk about it, we can hang out more again…"

Jeff looked at him hard for a moment. "No."

"What—?"

"No. Screw it. I don't _want_ to be some _gay_ friend of yours that likes you! I want us to be friends like before, but I guess we can't have that!"

"Oh my _god_, Jeff! Just accept yourself and move on! You're gay!"

"I'm fine with that! I'm _not_ fine with the fact that we have to act different now because of it!"

Nick shot up to his feet getting dangerously close to his roommate's face. "Fucking listen to me. I'm _not_ treating you different because of your sexuality. Okay?" Jeff just stared at him, his eyebrows knitted in anger. "Do you fucking hear me?"

"Fine! Yes, I hear you!"

"O_kay_… God! I can't believe you'd think that about me, Jeff. Don't you know anything about me?" Nick spun around angrily, standing between their respective beds and facing away from the blonde.

"I just—Why do we need to talk, then? If nothing's going to change because of that, then what do we need to discuss, Nick?" Jeff huffed, his arms crossing over his chest, his face scrunched in anger and emotion.

Nick snapped back around to face him. "B-because! Jeff, fuck! Because we need to talk about the fact that I'm _fine_ with you being gay! I'm _fine_ with you—liking me that way! I don't _care_ and you don't need to be uncomfortable around me! And don't say you aren't, because I've seen the way you avoid me and ignore me and try to get away from me _all the time_!"

Jeff's mouth fell open, his eyes blinking rapidly to attempt to clear the moisture and feeling that was threatening his emotional stability. "You… You think…? Fuck," he swore to himself, shaking his head, his eyes falling shut, the heat behind them too much to handle. "Nick. I don't think that…that _you're_ not okay with me liking you. I never thought that."

The dark-haired boy narrowed his eyes and shook his head slightly in confusion, eyes catching the gaze of the other shocked occupants of the room, who had all stayed completely silent, then trained back to Jeff. "But… Then why—?"

"Because! Oh my god, because it's so fucking _hard_! …Jesus, Nick! I want to—to pretend I never said anything, because I want to go back to normal! A-and I want to go back to _normal_, because…" He paused, his voice going thick and eyes misty. "Because it's so _fucking hard _to be around you, you know? Knowing that this is some stupid pointless thing because you can't _love_ me like that. I know _you_ don't care that I feel this way, and _you_ don't have to ignore it… But _I_ want to. I need to ignore it because it fucking _sucks_!"

The blonde shook his head, coming to his feet and stomping out of the room, one hand up on his face covering his eyes.

Everyone turned to Nick then, whose face was pulled down in confusion and sadness, his lips moving, trying to mouth words.

"Well, _that_ needed to get out," Thad mused quietly, shrugging when everyone shot him looks.

"You okay, Nick?" Kurt asked tentatively, peeking his head up to face the boy, his expression sympathetic.

The dark-haired boy let out a frustrated growl, tugging at his hair. He let out another noise and kicked the small table near his bed, some of the items on it falling to the floor, others rattling. "Fuck all of this! Fuck this shit! I fucking—! Ugh!"

He kicked the table again and stormed from the room, turning to go a different direction than Jeff had and down the hall, his hard footsteps echoing until he reached a far enough distance.

The six boys in the room all sat in the sudden silence, not speaking for what seemed like too long.

"This is weird," Wes finally muttered, twisting his mouth and looking around at everyone. "We're in _their_ room."

Thad brought a hand up to scratch his head thoughtfully, before coming to his feet slowly, stretching his arms up. "_Yeahh_, we should probably go."

* * *

><p>"<em>Mmm<em>… Can I—" the curly-haired boy stuttered out a breath, "_take your shirt off_?"

Kurt breathed a hot laugh against his Blaine's head, where his face was buried in the pale boy's clothed chest, and nodded. "Y-yeah"

Blaine backed up enough that he could peel the tight, sweaty t-shirt from his boyfriend's body, glad that they'd changed out of uniform earlier and that he didn't have to deal with layers.

Once the garment was removed, Blaine dragged his eyes up the expanse of pale, flushed skin, his mouth agape until meeting Kurt's face, then quirking up into a lazy smile.

Kurt sat up and shifted them back against the pillows, pulling Blaine along to rest between his legs. "Here," Kurt murmured, pulling him in close and pressing their bare chests together.

Blaine wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's back, causing him to arch up as he brought their mouths together, their wet lips sliding together and sounding loud along with their breathing and their shifting in the otherwise silent room.

"I—lemme just—" Blaine pulled away slightly, reaching his hands down between them to unbutton his own pants, tugging them down past his knees and kicking them off. He smiled and resumed his position against Kurt, placing a hot palm on one of the pale boy's clothed knees, spreading his legs open wider and pressing himself there, causing a hard shiver to run through him.

They stayed like that and began kissing hotly and wetly, rubbing their hard-ons together through a few layers of clothing. "_Blaine_," Kurt muttered, his eyes clamped shut and his forehead beaded with sweat as the curly-haired boy worked on the skin of his neck.

"Yeah?"

"Take my—take off my pants," he begged quietly, lifting his hips up and pushing them forward to press against his boyfriend.

He did as he was told and stripped the pants from the pale boy's long legs, revealing flushed skin damp with sweat. Kurt took the opportunity to also slip off his boxer-briefs, leaving only the thin layer of Blaine's underwear between their cocks.

It was then that Kurt pushed Blaine completely forward, causing him to land on his back with the pale boy on top of him, their heads now at the foot of the bed.

"This is better," Kurt mewled quietly, his naked body straddling Blaine, his dick resting heavily on his boyfriend's stomach, mostly hard.

Blaine's breathing hitched as he nodded frantically, his hands moving to rest on Kurt's hips, or touch Kurt _somewhere_, but hesitated and instead moved his hands down to his boxer-briefs. "H-hold on," and me made to tug them, but Kurt placed his hands on Blaine's stopping his movement.

"_Let me_," and the pale boy somehow said it so seductively that Blaine let out an obscene groan, nodding quickly in confirmation.

Kurt shimmied his way down Blaine's body, stopping when he was sitting on the boy's shins. He let himself trail small, delicate kisses down Blaine's chest and stomach, stopping at the waistband of his boxers. He slipped his fingers beneath the band and looked at his boyfriend's hard cock, pulsing and straining in the blue material. He tugged them down, Blaine lifting his hips until he got rid of the things entirely, and tossed them somewhere unimportant.

"Ah-h," Blaine stuttered out a breath as his erection sprung free from its restrains, watching with half-lidded eyes and an open mouth as Kurt began kissing up his legs.

Kurt stopped somewhat-suddenly when he realized he had basically begun nuzzling his nose into the dark, coarse hair that covered his boyfriend's crotch.

This was the closest he'd ever…well…had his mouth to Blaine's cock.

They hadn't done that yet.

And suddenly, he pulled away and stared at his boyfriend's hard penis, the skin of it darker and less pink than his. He hadn't exactly known or had any reference point to determine how _gifted_ he or Blaine were. They'd really been the only penises he'd seen up close and personal, but Blaine had once confessed during some hot frotting that he was the biggest guy Blaine had ever been with. Kurt didn't know how many guys Blaine had been with, but he did know that Blaine was generally the same size as he was, maybe a little thicker, just the tiniest bit shorter, but still heavy and good in his hand. And suddenly, as he pulled away and looked at it, he felt the sudden urge to take it all in his mouth.

"You okay?"

Kurt flushed, realizing he'd basically been staring at his boyfriend's cock for probably a minute. He let out a breath and nodded, reaching his hands up to smooth over Blaine's thighs, "Yeah…"

Blaine looked at him, then, his brows furrowed as he panted heavily from arousal. "…You sure, babe? Is this—? I mean, it's been a while since we've done anything, really, and since you've been, well…_you_…"

The pale boy was nodding through his statement, still rubbing his hands along the boy's legs, eyes glancing down to the boy's still-hard cock, tempting and teasing his hormones. "I'm sure, Blaine, I… Can I try something?"

The curly-haired boy's cock twitched at his words and he nodded eagerly, lying his head back down and watching with intent eyes as Kurt moved back down, kissing his legs and moving up to his hips and began nuzzling again.

He'd never done this before.

Kurt heard Blaine's breath hold when he pressed a wet, open-mouthed kiss to the base of his cock, dragging his lips up the shaft and not hesitating before bringing out his tongue to lick on the soft skin there and pulling the head into his mouth, sucking softly.

"Mother of—fuck," Blaine sucked his lip into his mouth and bit down, a hand shooting out to lace into his boyfriend's hair.

The pale boy lowered his mouth down until he felt the tip of Blaine's cock hitting his throat and willed himself not to gag too hard. He pulled his lips tight and began a slow steady movement up and down, the taste of precum heavy and strong on his tongue. He let himself moan when he realized how full and hot his mouth felt, eliciting a deep sigh from his boyfriend.

Blaine continued watching his boyfriend's mouth, his half-lidded eyes fluttering as he rested his hand on Kurt's tousled chestnut hair, watching his tight lips working his cock. Up and down and up and down, tongue coming out and pressing against the underside as he sucked.

"Ugh babe, you—you're good at this," Blaine attempted to speak, his voice coming out in a strangled whisper.

Kurt picked up his pace, shooting his head down and pulling up in small bursts, his hand stroking the base of Blaine's cock where his mouth wasn't reaching.

He could tell Blaine was getting close by the loud, groaning, painful-sounding noises he was letting out, and he gasped finally, his eyes shooting open wide and finding the ceiling in his adrenalin haze. "K-Kurt, I'm gonna come."

Kurt didn't know if he should swallow—it was his first time doing this at all, but at the same time, he felt like he wanted to do this, like it was an intimate thing he wanted to share with Blaine.

So he hummed an affirmative response, nodding his head as he sped up, and Blaine twisted and shook, looking down at him, making sure there were no protests and watched Kurt continue bobbing his head, his eyes finally clamping shut as he couldn't contain himself any longer.

"I'm gonna—aahhnng—"

He came with a high whine, his body trembling and pulsing.

Kurt felt hot spurts of cum shooting down his throat and he swallowed, and after Blaine had rode out his climax, he sucked around his cock a few more times, cleaning him up entirely.

They sat in a brief silence, Blaine panting and Kurt breathing hard as well, curling up into his boyfriend's side. He felt wildly thrilled and terrified for what he just did. It was exhilarating.

Finally, without opening his eyes, Blaine panted out, "Kurt… That. That was amazing." At the pale boy's small scoff, Blaine opened his eyes, looking at his boyfriend with huge eyes, intense and blinking. "…I'm serious… You're really good at that."

Kurt looked at him, smiling lazily and leaning in to kiss him softly, only realizing what his mouth probably tasted like too late and pulling away. "S-sorry," he mumbled, placing a hand over his lips.

"No, come here," Blaine lifted his mouth into a half-grin, bringing their lips together and letting his tongue press into Kurt's mouth, tasting himself. "It's hot," he murmured against the boy's lips.

"Mmm," Kurt hummed, pressing his hard cock against Blaine's leg, seeing the curly-haired boy's dick twitch, already becoming aroused again. He smiled at this, and mumbled against his boyfriend's neck, "I've never done that before."

Blaine's breath hitched, and he sat up and pulled back a little to look at Kurt, his face incredulous. "What?"

Kurt knew he had heard him, so he just shrugged in response, and he could feel his face getting hot, high on his cheeks.

Blaine pulled back more then, his face soft. "Babe, you should have told me…"

"I wanted to do it… I'm glad I did it."

The curly-haired boy opened his mouth then, and he seemed almost shy when he spoke. "Well, if it's fair… That was my first blowjob." At Kurt's stare, he elaborated. "I've given them, but… I've never been with a guy that's…_given _them. I—well, I got part of one kind of…from that girl at that party, once," he grimaced, and they both laughed lightly, and when they did, they brushed against each other, their cocks touching. Blaine's breathing got heavy when he felt Kurt's arousal against him. "Can I—? I'd love to…return the favor."

Kurt's lips quirked up on one side, and he nodded slightly, his eyes never leaving his boyfriend's. He closed them, then, when Blaine began kissing down his neck. He gasped loudly as Blaine slunk down his body, and he felt hot, wet lips around his cock.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Wednesday, the eight boys lounged in the common room, smoking, playing cards, and talking.<p>

David leaned onto his back, bringing a hand up to take a drag on his cigarette. Wes was watching him, and tilted his head to the side, narrowing his eyes.

"David, when's the last time you _shaved_?"

The dark-skinned boy glanced at him, raising an eyebrow, his fingers rising to brush over his chin, in thought and for the purposes of feeling the scruff there. "I don't know. A week ago. I mean now that we have to go to nurse's and be supervised while we do it," he mumbled the last part, shooting a glance at Kurt cautiously, only to see him glaring at him teasingly.

"Well, I'm _sorry_ how it inconveniences you. But really… Each and every one of you could go for a shave. Well, Jeff's isn't very visible," Kurt admitted, and the blonde brought a hand up to run over his cheek, shrugging.

"It's kind of visible…"

Kurt looked at the rest of the boys there, frowning at Wes. "I mean, that little patchy goatee you have there is really doing nothing for you."

Wes's expression was deadpan, and he flipped him off. "Ha, ha. Excuse me for my testosterone."

Nick laughed from one of the plush leather couches, throwing a card down into the middle stack and looking at Kurt. "You don't even have facial hair, do you?"

Kurt rolled his eyes, but shook his head even so, shrugging.

At this, Trent sat up, leaning on one elbow, staring at the boy. "Then… Why'd you have razors to begin with if you don't shave? I mean, like, did you get them just to…?"

Kurt sat up straighter, exchanging a brief glance with Blaine, both boys looking as though they were attempting to find words. It was interrupted by a loud, obnoxious snort from Thad.

"_Oh_, Kurt shaves…"

The pale boy's face reddened and he set his mouth into a tight line, his eyes narrowed as he looked to his roommate.

It took a moment before a loud gasp of laughter was let out from Nick. "Dude! You _manscape_?"

Kurt's face fell into his hand, and he sighed, "Oh my god… Thanks, Thad. I knew this would never stay in the room. Eight months. Eight months this has stayed private."

The dark-haired boy snickered around the cigarette hanging from his lips, shaking his head. "Aw, Kurt. Don't be embarrassed. It's all very neat and tidy looking, right Blaine?"

Blaine simply narrowed his eyes in Thad's direction.

Kurt shook his head slowly, rolling his eyes. "He seriously _never_ lets me live this down, do you know that?" He asked no one in particular, sending his still-laughing roommate a glare. "Ever since he saw me naked for the _first time_… Every single time I leave the shower, it's _'Kurt, did you shave your balls_?', _'Clog up the drain with your pubes, Kurt_?', _'Hope you got it right, Kurt, it was uneven last time_,'" he stopped, sighed and just stared at the boy, who was looking at him with a feigned-offended expression.

"_Excuse_ me. Ever since you and B started hooking up, I sometimes also ask you if you and your boyfriend had fun trimming each other's dick hair," he shrugged, seeming to need to add his own comment.

The boys in the room laughed, and David turned to Blaine. "B, don't you manscape?"

The curly-haired boy seemed surprised at the question, and raised an eyebrow. "Uh… Kind of. I don't—" he glanced to Kurt, "shave or anything, but… I mean, it gets insane if I don't trim it, so…"

Wes cocked his head to the side. "Maybe it's a gay thing," the Asian boy glanced over to the boy sitting on the floor sitting a few places away from him. "Jeff?"

The blonde didn't remove his eyes from his cards in front of him, instead opting to flip him the bird.

"Nick, does Jeff manscape?" David laughed, asking the dark-haired boy teasingly.

Nick opened his mouth as though to speak, but a troubled look took over his features and he didn't say anything, just continued to look down at his cards.

Because they still weren't really talking, since yesterday.

"Well _I_ don't," Thad announced loudly, shrugging, then glanced over to Kurt with a smile. "Hey, Kurt. Did the nurses at the hospital make sure to keep your pubes in the little triangle shape you have it in?"

Kurt knew Thad was being an ass to break the tension, but he couldn't resist leaning over to punch him in the arm, muttering a "Fuck you, Thad," with a smile.

* * *

><p>"What?" Kurt spoke to himself, an eyebrow arched as he read a text message on his phone.<p>

"What?" Blaine asked in response, looking at his boyfriend and dropping a light kiss to his head as he came to their lunch table, sitting in between Kurt and Trent.

"A couple of my…_friends_ from home scheduled to come see me tomorrow…" Kurt's face was hard to read.

"Is tha' a ba' thing?" Nick questioned, food in his mouth making it hard to understand him well. Jeff blinked and looked up at his roommate, a short, fond, longing expression being sent his way before the blonde returned his gaze to Kurt.

"Well…_no_, I guess not. I haven't seen them in a while, but I think it'll be fine… I'm just surprised because they're off school for the summer already…"

Trent shrugged, glancing at his watch. "Well, it's the second of June already, bro."

Kurt blinked at this, seemingly surprised slightly at this information as well. "Right… And when the hell do we end classes?"

The boys all exchanged a few glances and Blaine turned to Kurt, shrugging. "July," he nodded, looking to David who nodded as well in confirmation. "I think July 3rd is our last day."

The pale boy looked scandalized. "_What_? Why?"

David sighed. "They string out our classes so we don't have as much free time… We actually have way less class hours every week than normal high schools."

Kurt shook his head. "That's…stupid. This place sucks."

Everyone laughed at this, and Kurt looked at them as though they were insane. "Really?" Thad asked him sarcastically. "What made you realize it? The corrupt schooling system, maniac students, or the sadist bastards that run the whole place?"

The pale boy laughed. He'd missed being able to enjoy his friends.

* * *

><p>Blaine watched him with a curious expression, his pierced eyebrow raised. "What's wrong, babe?"<p>

Kurt stopped his pacing, and turned to his boyfriend with a slightly frantic face. "I'm just nervous. I haven't seen them since…January," he mumbled out in a breath, sitting down on his bed next to Blaine, who was lighting a cigarette.

After blowing out the smoke once smoothly, the curly-haired boy ran his hand down his boyfriend's naked back, still damp from his recent shower. "When are they getting here?"

Kurt glanced to the clock on his bedside table, blinking. "In a half hour."

At this, Blaine's lips curled into a grin, and he took his cigarette and stubbed out the lit part, placing the mostly-new stick down in the mug beside Kurt's bed. "I can help you calm down," he offered innocently, brushing his hand very lightly over the front of his boyfriend's boxer-briefs, just hardly touching his cock through the material.

The pale boy sucked in a sharp breath at the touch, giving him a warning look. "We don't have time to do much of anything, Blaine…"

At his words, Blaine slid off the bed and settled between Kurt's legs, kneeling on the floor at the foot of his bed. "It won't take long…"

And okay. If they had gotten carried away giving each other blowjobs since they'd first done it that last Tuesday, well, it was hard to blame them. They were hormonal teenagers, after all.

Kurt was about to protest when Blaine dropped his head down, mouthing over Kurt's still-mostly-soft cock through the thin cotton of his underwear, eliciting a high whimper. "_Nnnnnn, Blaine_," he moaned out, looking at the boy when he turned his hazel eyes up to make contact, "once you offer, that's the end of it… You control me with your _sex_," Kurt whined, putting his arms behind him to brace himself and throwing his head back.

Instead of answering, Blaine just chuckled lowly, tugging the boxer-briefs from his boyfriend's body and down to his ankles, seeing the boy's cock was now mostly stiff.

He got to work quickly, bringing Kurt's dick into his mouth and wrapping his lips around it. He knew they didn't have time, his head bobbing as he wrapped his hand around the base, and his other hand cupping his balls, massaging them slowly.

It was a few minutes later that he pulled away slightly, teasingly, just pressing kisses to the head of Kurt's cock.

"Ahh—What are you doing? Don't _stop_," Kurt moaned, his hips pushing forward involuntarily.

Blaine grinned, his tongue coming out to flick against the slit, causing sounds to escape Kurt's mouth. "I'm not stopping… We have time, don't worry…"

He finally sunk back down onto the pale boy's thick cock, and Kurt jerked forward at the sensation, his hands automatically tangling into the boy's unruly curls, pulling him as close as he could. "Oh god, that—feels—_ugh_—"

_Knock! knock!_

"Kurt?"

And at that moment, he had no doubt in his mind who the voice belonged to, but it was too late, because the door was opening, and his only reaction whatsoever was tightening his grip on Blaine's hair and letting out some kind of intelligible noise, which could be interpreted in a few different ways in his situation.

Kurt snapped his head into the direction of the door, only to catch the faces of Finn, Rachel, Sam, Mercedes, Santana, Puck, and Brittany all poking their heads in the doorway, their reactions immediate as they saw the head of curly hair between Kurt's legs, bobbing around as he went to work.

"Oh my _god_!"

"Holy shit!"

"Oh, _man_!"

"Whoa!"

"Oh, dude!"

He wasn't sure who had said what, but it all happened at once and Blaine's head pulled away from his cock immediately and he tumbled back onto his back on the floor, eyes shocked and wide, screaming, "Shit!"

"Dude!" Finn said, probably again, and sort of turned to look away, but back again, his face matching the expressions of all the others: shocked and horrified.

"_WHY ARE YOU STILL LOOKING—CLOSE THE DOOR!"_ Kurt screamed at them, bringing his hands down to cover himself, and someone did just that—closed the door.

He tumbled to his feet, only to trip over the boxers on his ankles, and rushed to the door, leaning against it. He didn't hear murmurs or talking from the hall, but he figured they'd still be out there. Scarred. Scarred for life, probably. "Uh, h-hey, guys… Just… Meet me down in the lounge, okay?"

He heard footsteps moving then, and figured they listened.

Kurt turned to Blaine, who was still on his back on the floor, but his expression of shock from before was replaced with a different face, this one much more amused and clearly attempting to restrain giggling. Kurt saw this and pointed at him, shaking his head, only causing the curly-haired boy to begin shaking with silent laughter. "Do _not_ laugh at this, Mr. Anderson. This is _not_ comical in any way!"

* * *

><p>"Hello," Kurt greeted hesitantly as he approached the group in the lounge, seeing Thad, Wes, and David were also there, speaking with some of the Lima kids. Kurt's eyes darted between them as they all turned to him and Blaine, who was trailing behind him.<p>

"Dude, that better be your boyfriend. 'Cause if not, he's gonna wanna know about what we just walked in on," Puck reasoned, nodding his head in Blaine's direction.

Of course Puck would skip the friendly greeting. The '_Hey, how are you_?', '_Hey, how was your intense Electroconvulsive Therapy_?', '_How were your last six months_?'

And of course Puck would choose to not ignore walking in on a private sexual act and instead publicize the whole thing.

Before Kurt or Blaine could answer, though, Thad looked to Puck, moving from the floor to sit beside the mohawked teen on a leather chair and crossing his arms over his chest. "You, too? What'd you get an eyeful of?"

"Curly going down on Kurt. More gay sex than I like to expose myself to daily…"

Thad grimaced, then turned to the two boyfriends, his expression scolding. "Again, guys? Jeez. Excuse my roommate, he's overly hormonal. And the curly-haired one, too. He's just a slut."

Blaine stepped forward, his face offended, eyes narrowed. "I'm not—a slut, I—"

"Anyway," Kurt interrupted with a smile, guiding Blaine by the shoulders over to where the Lima kids were sitting, "You guys, this is Blaine. And yes, he _is_ my boyfriend," he shot a glance to Puck at this.

They introduced themselves, aside from Finn and Rachel, who had met Blaine previously.

"And this is my roommate, Thad. And that's Wes and David. They live on my floor."

After brief pleasantries, they all sat down in a small area, as to be able to all converse with less difficulty. They ended up all talking easily, attempting to do their best catching up and filling each other in on what had happened since they'd seen each other last. At various points, different Dalton boys had joined them, until it was all eight of the group and the kids from Lima.

"So, we all let this idiot give us tattoos and piercings. And now I have _Irony_ on my ass in Chinese letters," Wes had been saying, giving an annoyed, but fond look over to the pale boy, who just smiled in return.

"Not my idea," he said innocently, looking back to Blaine and shrugging.

"What did the rest of you guys get?" Sam asked them, his smile bit and enthusiastic at the idea.

The eight boys began moving to reveal their body modifications, Jeff and David simply gesturing to their lips. Nick showed his ankle, Trent rolled his eyes, showing his pierced nipple, Thad his wrist, and Blaine showed his chest, smiling delicately at Kurt as he did so.

"Come on, man. Show us yours," Puck grinned evilly, nodding at Wes.

The Asian boy huffed, standing up and unbuttoning his pants, tugging them down in the back, revealing the two small symbols in still-dark ink.

This initiated a round of laughter from the Dalton boys and looks of shock and incredulity from those of the New Directions.

"I can't believe you would allow someone else to alter your appearance. Your body is your instrument, and if you plan on performing at all in your life, tattoos and piercings aren't—"

"Rachel, please," Kurt scolded lightheartedly with a smile. "A few piercings and hidden tattoos won't do any harm…"

"We've done worse. Besides, what's leaving a correctional academy without some ink and rings, right?" David reasoned, and the boys all nodded, laughing along with the dark-skinned boy.

It took a moment, but the Lima kids all sort of got pulled under the same wash of feelings, watching Kurt, laugh and joke with his friends, in his new home, about things he was _now_ okay joking about. Things they didn't really get or relate to.

Each time they saw him, they were constantly reminded of the fact that they really didn't know him anymore at all, and it was strange. Due to the fact that he was Finn's stepbrother, he was never let go completely, but watching him lie down and rest his head into his boyfriend's lap—the same boyfriend who they had just seen giving him oral sex—shocked them yet again.

Mercedes and Rachel shared a look as the rest of those in the room chatted about something or other, remembering the nights they'd have, over at one of their houses, watching movies, eating popcorn, whining nonstop about how they'd never meet the right guy. By the time Kurt got arrested, Rachel was with Finn, and Mercedes had at least gone on a few dates with that Anthony kid from the football team.

They'd known the extent of Kurt's lack of experience with boys—except for the forced attack no one was aware of at the time or counted as an act of sex—and seeing him now, comfortable in the area with his boyfriend and growing into a person they didn't know, was bittersweet.

They knew he'd grown away from them, which was always hard to see a friend do.

But he'd also _grown_. He'd grown up and changed and seemed happy, which was something wonderful to see happen to a friend.

"Hey, Kurt, guess what? Me and Santana are dating now," Brittany began a new topic, turning to the pale boy with a grin. Kurt only raised an eyebrow and smiled at the two, curious.

"Britt, I said _I_ wanted to tell him about that," Santana scolded softly with a fond smile, nudging her with her elbow.

"No, you said you wanted to tell him that you're a lesbian now. You can still tell him that part," The blonde girl reasoned, smiling at her girlfriend. Santana just shook her head, her lips quirking up in a half-smile.

"So… What's all this?" Kurt brought their attention back to him, giving them amused and almost-accusatory smirks. "Not that I can say I'm entirely surprised, with the way you two have always been with each other."

The Latina turned to the blonde, shrugging and smiling. "What can I say? Britt was the best thing I ever had, I just didn't realize it until now."

"Wait…" Wes narrowed his eyes at Santana, darting them between her and Brittany. "Wait, you're a lesbian?"

The dark-haired girl raised an eyebrow, giving him a look. "Now, I _know_ you don't have a problem with that," she sassed at him.

Wes groaned, head tilting back and eyes reaching the ceiling. "_Fuck_, why?" He sighed, gaze coming back to the girl. "And, no, I don't have a problem with it."

"Wes is just bitter because he was probably going to try to hook up with you," David offered, shrugging, and Wes sighed, nodding sadly, causing the group to laugh.

A few topics came and went, and Kurt suddenly had a question. "So, Finn… How's my dad been? Since I've been back here?"

The tall teen seemed confused for a moment before answering. "It's been, like, five days, dude."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know that. I'm just wondering if he's been…stressed at all, because of the treatment."

Finn blinked a moment, then shrugged. "I don't think so… He seems fine to me."

And even if Finn wasn't the most observant individual, Kurt still sighed with slight relief, the answer satisfying him.

Because even if his relationship with his father had been confusing and _on-and-off_, he still cared about the man's health, because they all knew he had a predisposition for heart problems.

Finally, the Lima kids had spent their time, and needed to be on their way, so they all stood and hugged Kurt goodbye, even bidding their new friends from Dalton a farewell.

Mercedes was the last to hug the pale boy, and when she leant into him, clasping her arms around his back, she whispered, "I'm glad you've found your people," with a smirk, pulling away and leaving with the rest.

Kurt glanced to the lot of seven, smiling to himself at the idea.

He'd entered this realm, this world, this—different _reality_ altogether, and had been completely alone. He had no idea that in the span of eight or so months, he'd find himself in a place with new friends, feelings, ideas and understanding and comprehension of himself and the world.

He had these seven idiots that took care of him and looked out for him. He had a connection with them like he'd never had with anyone else in his life, a bond that he'd never imagined he could have.

His _people_.

They were.


	17. Kern

**A/N Not trying to give excuses, I just don't want you all to think I blew this off.  
>I literally have had the craziest few weeks in my life. I was super close to getting it up before shit went down.<br>New tumblr: miss-zenno (don't ask why i changed it so slightly, it's complicated)  
>Thank you all so so so so so much for the lovely reviews, I don't deserve it for how shitty I've been updating :(<br>Disclaimer: I do not own Glee**

* * *

><p>"Are you sure?"<p>

"…Yes."

"_Kurt_. You don't sound sure."

The pale boy sighed, his head falling back onto the pillow of his bed. He was painfully hard and goddammit, Blaine needed to touch him _some_where soon. "_Blaine_. Just do it… Please? I want you to," he mumbled out quietly, bringing a hand to run over his boyfriend's chest.

Blaine opened his mouth as though to respond, but just nodded instead. This was different. They'd done everything that was _touching_ and _tasting_ and _rubbing_, but only when it involved…their cocks. Fingering was…uncharted territory.

He coated a finger in lube and bent over Kurt's body, resting on his side as he slowly brought his hand down to skim over the area, watching the pale boy's face as he did so and pressing a kiss to his neck. He felt his boyfriend tense beneath his touch, and saw him clamp his eyes shut, so he paused. "…Keep going?"

"Mmm," Kurt nodded shakily, not opening his eyes. "Keep going."

Blaine pressed against Kurt's hole, feeling the skin and muscle there clenching, not opening up for his finger at all, even though it was, by then, wet with lube. He didn't want to _force_ the goddamn thing in. He didn't want to _hurt_ him. "Babe… Relax," he pressed a few kisses to Kurt's collarbone and chest where he could reach, and felt the body beneath him ease, if only slightly.

Pressing in the first wasn't as hard as he'd thought it would be, as he was soon able to move it around, stretching him out.

Kurt seemed mostly relaxed, though let out a few stuttered breaths every now and then.

It wasn't until he had two fingers in and was pressing around to find Kurt's spot that something went wrong. He stilled his hand immediately, but kept his fingers inside.

Kurt was saying something under his breath, hot and fast and unintelligible.

"Kurt?" But the pale boy wasn't responding. He continued to whisper under his breath. "…Babe, do you want me to stop?"

It wasn't that he couldn't tell the difference between Blaine's gentle fingers and the cocks of the men who violently raped him. He knew they felt different. He knew it wasn't the same and that he literally _asked_ Blaine to do this.

But after Kurt had two fingers in him—enough to actually feel a filling sensation—he couldn't help but be brought back to that night.

It was different. He knew it was different. But…

He felt Blaine pull back slightly and the fingers inside of him moved just so and—

Kurt flinched, seeing the face of one of his attackers in his mind, his eyes flying open. The words of quiet encouragement he had been chanting inaudibly now stopping, instead replaced with a scream, "STOP! PLEASE! GET OFF OF ME! GET _OFF_!"

Blaine leapt back, drawing his hand away like it had been burnt, stumbling into a stand beside the bed.

Kurt scrambled up to the headboard, his eyes wide and scared and wet and his breath coming out in harsh panting exhales. He looked to his boyfriend, seeing the curly-haired boy's face, completely heartbroken and hurt.

"Kurt… I—I'm _sorry_, I shouldn't have—"

"No," Kurt mumbled wetly, trembling as he got off the bed and pulled his boxers on.

"Baby, I—"

"Get out," the pale boy sniffed, a couple tears now finding their way down his cheeks. He began picking up articles of clothing from where they had been carelessly tossed to the floor, against Blaine's protests.

"_Kurt_—!"

"Get _out_, Blaine," he shoved the clothes into the boxer-clad boy's arms and all but threw him out the door, closing it loudly after him, causing a resounding _bang!_ to rattle the building. A few heads poked out of their doors to see the commotion, but quickly realized it was something they'd most likely rather not be involved in. Wes and David were just exiting their dorm to see Blaine being shoved out into the hall, and turned immediately back around, not wanting to overhear something that wasn't their concern.

The curly-haired boy stood speechless, underwear-only-clad, hair rumpled and clothes bundled up in his arms. "…I… Kurt," he said finally, leaning up to the door, hearing shuffling around inside. "Kurt… Please don't…be mad. God. I'm so _sorry_. I should have stopped, I just—"

The doorknob fumbled and Blaine stopped, watching as it cracked open just so, a sliver of Kurt's red, tear-stained face visible as he spoke quietly. "I'm not…_mad_, Blaine. I'm _humiliated_."

And he closed the door again, and Blaine just blinked soundlessly.

"Nice legs, asshole!"

The curly-haired boy jumped about a foot in the air, turning to see Nick and Trent snickering at his expense, coming up to pass him in the hallway. He just sighed, defeated, and blinked passively as they walked by, still laughing.

One of them slapped him on the ass, and he flinched, then let out a small growl of annoyance.

"Rejected, B?" Trent smirked as they began entering Nick's room next door, the dark-haired boy watching him as well with an amused expression.

"Seriously, you guys. Not now."

"_Some_one has blue balls," and they continued into another bout of laughter, closing the door behind themselves and leaving Blaine again alone in the hall, still upset.

He'd head over a few doors and talk to Wes and David.

Clearly some of his friends were more mature than the others.

* * *

><p>It was an hour or so after the attempted sexual advance that Kurt made his way out of his room and down to the lounge.<p>

He had come to realize two things in the time he had with himself.

The first was that the physical _act_ of fingering itself—well, any act that really involved…penetration, he supposed—was easily the most uncomfortable thing he'd experienced. Any time he'd come in contact with something that involved something going _up there_ was just plain difficult.

He needed to be completely relaxed and decide this kind of thing thoughtfully, not in the heat of the moment like he had earlier.

Second was that he had to keep his _eyes open_ if he and Blaine were going to ever try _that_ again.

The only memory he had of being _penetrated_ was his rape. Which was, for obvious reasons, not a pleasant one. If he was able to _see _Blaine, _hear_ Blaine, _smell_ him, anything—he'd be able to create a new memory. Separate the sensation from his attack.

He considered avoiding the act entirely—fingering, which would inevitably lead to intercourse. He could be the one to top, and he wouldn't have to deal with this at all.

The only problem was that any time—before _and_ after his rape—he'd imagined himself being with a man, he'd been the one receiving. He didn't know if it was something a gay man was _born_ knowing, or if there were any who _didn't_ have a preference, but he was certain that this was what _he_ wanted.

He needed to make it work for them.

Kurt stopped dead in his tracks, startled, as he rounded the corner to the lounge, hearing angry, muffled voices being thrown around. Upon realization, the pale boy sighed and rolled his eyes, stepping into the room and shooting glances at an upset-looking Nick and Jeff.

"Hey, Kurt," David greeted him hesitantly as he sat down on the floor, and the pale boy waved just slightly, catching the look on the dark-skinned boy's face and realizing Blaine had probably told him about what had happened earlier.

Kurt's eyes scanned the room and found David and Wes both trying not to look at him, Thad with his nose in a book, looking completely absorbed as read, sitting in a leather chair, and of course, a hostile Nick and Jeff with papers scattered between them and probably regretting the project they'd agreed to work on together months before.

They'd gotten worse.

Kurt doubted either of them _really_ remembered the reason they were mad at each other, that it was just frustration and being upset, but they'd done less talking and more shouting in the past week than ever before.

"_No_, Nick. You can't _do_ that part first. Wait until I finish number three. Besides, we have to do that part _together_, _remember_?"

Kurt glanced over to them, seeing Nick keeping his mouth shut with a determined look on his face and practically radiating anger.

It was then that Blaine walked into the lounge, a dark, thin article of clothing of some kind in his hand and his face scrunched in a grimace. "…Is this what you were talking about?" He held the thing out to Wes tentatively, whose face broke into a grin as his hand shot out to snatch it.

The Asian boy held it up—a long-sleeved, black, spandex turtleneck—and hummed approvingly. "Perfect," he murmured, exchanging a somewhat disconcerting glance with David.

"Oh," Blaine breathed suddenly as he turned around, and he and Kurt made eye contact, the curly-haired boy's face looking honestly surprised, not having seen the boy when he walked in earlier. His voice softened, as did his eyes, and he took a step towards the pale boy, "Hey."

Before he could say anything, Kurt stood and approached him, taking his hand. "Babe, I'm sorry I freaked out," and Blaine's face pulled into an understanding expression. "…I really wasn't mad at you, I was just…upset about the whole thing… I hate that I'm like that with…that kind of stuff. But…I do love you, okay?"

Blaine returned the statement and sighed as his boyfriend pulled him into a hug, and he closed his eyes as he tucked himself into Kurt's neck. "And I know. These kinds of things…need to go slow for us," he hummed against his pale skin. "I would never push you."

Kurt nodded against Blaine's curly head and pulled back as he heard David laugh, sounding eerily mischievous. "Please tell me Wes isn't experimenting with fashion spandex… David seems to be encouraging it."

Blaine's eyes widened and he grimaced, shaking his head. "No… He wants a spy-like outfit for next week to…fulfill some kind of devious plan he and David have been working on all year." At Kurt's confused expression, he continued. "They do this every year during the camp week."

Kurt blinked, pausing for a few seconds. "The what?"

Blaine raised an eyebrow. "The—You know, the _camp_ week. It's something Dalton does every year, not just this one… Wes and David always figure out something to do to fuck with everyone. It's terrifying to hear them plan it, but it's generally hilarious to watch play out—Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kurt's eyes were huge and his mouth just slightly open. "You say camp week like…like we have to _camping_, or something."

Blaine smiled a little confused, and chuckled. "Well, _yeah_, Kurt. We're going to Camp Kern over in, like, Dayton by Little Miami River. Remember the assembly we had at the—oh, yeah, I guess you weren't at Dalton then. But we had an announcement a few weeks back? About how the kids on certain probations can't go?"

The pale boy sighed and blinked. "…A few weeks ago? I was probably in treatment."

Blaine's eyes darted around in thought before he nodded slowly. "Right… Well, it's next week. And Renny won't be there. He's on level three, so…"

Kurt breathed out after a moment. "_Camping_… Will there be _tents_?"

"No," Nick spoke up, closing the textbook he had open, earning a nasty glance from Jeff in doing so. "It's like a cabin-mess hall-campfire-type of summer camp deal. It's actually really fun, Kurt," the dark-haired boy assured him.

The pale boy nodded slowly, pursing his lips in thought. This was going to be interesting.

"I thought we weren't going to tell Kurt about the camping trip until the day of? I thought that was the plan?" Thad inquired out of nowhere, keeping his place in his book and looking up at the boys in the room.

Everyone just gave him confused looks, no one responding.

"No…? Was that just my plan? Because I think that would have been hilarious."

Kurt narrowed his eyes at his roommate, but Blaine brought him out of his thoughts by placing a hand on his shoulder. "We're getting cabin assignments tomorrow in group. We usually have the group to our own cabin, since only, like, 12 or 14 people are in one."

The pale boy considered this, his chin rising haughtily. "I need to start stocking my sunscreen supply."

* * *

><p>He had woken up knowing he was ready.<p>

It was three days after the fingering fiasco, the Saturday before their camping trip on Monday, mandatory meals and group were cancelled for the weekend, and Kurt woke up to the feeling of sun on his bare back, the warm wind fluttering in the windows and the trees rustling softly.

He didn't know if it was because of his treatment, but aside from the situation three days before, Kurt felt his sex drive had increased immensely. And it wasn't only that. It was the way he felt _about_ sex. He thought about what his father had told him. About using it to _connect_ with someone.

He'd always enjoyed what he and Blaine had done sexually. But it was a new kind of clarity and feeling since he'd been cleared of his depression. It was like he had a magnetic draw to Blaine that went so far beyond lust. Something in him wanted Blaine and him to be completely together.

Kurt rolled onto his back and stretched his arms over his head, his hands pressing into the headboard. He heard his roommate's bed creak and blinked his eyes open, turning to see Thad, holding a book about six inches from his face and looking completely wrecked, a limp cigarette hanging from his lips as he halfheartedly puffed on it, blowing the smoke from his nose.

"Did you sleep at all last night, Thad?"

The dark-haired boy jumped slightly, eyes darting to Kurt. He dog-eared a page and set the book down, putting his smoke out in the mug beside his bed. His hair was sticking up every which way, and his eyes were squinty and bleary. He hummed quietly, pressing his hands over his face. "No," he murmured, yawning shortly after.

"What are you reading, anyway?"

"_The Hobbit_," he answered immediately through another yawn, slumping down into his bed and turning to face Kurt, pulling the covers over himself, up to his shoulders.

"Again?" Kurt asked him, his lips pulled up in a smirk, amused.

"Again."

The pale boy watched as his roommate nestled down into his bed for a good day's sleep. "Before you pass out… Can I ask you something?"

Thad just continued eye contact as confirmation, his face understanding and serious.

"…Have you ever…slept with someone, _not_ just for the sex?"

This seemed to momentarily bring Thad out of his tiredness. He blinked thoughtfully a few times and then shrugged, trying for nonchalance. "Yeah… You mean, like, because I actually cared for her? Yeah, there was one girl that I, well… I cared about her, at least."

Kurt just looked at him. "Was it before Dalton?"

"No… She was… She came here to visit Wes. She's his cousin. She visited him a lot before her and her family moved somewhere, but… We got to know each other and," he shrugged, "you know. It was difficult and messy while it lasted, but it was a thing, I guess."

"You loved her?"

Thad didn't reply immediately, then frowned. "I don't know about that. But she was my—well—fuck, I don't know why I'm telling you this. Why are you asking this?" The dark-haired boy looked suddenly suspicious, and ran a hand through his messy hair.

Kurt shrugged, sitting up to come to the edge of his bed, facing his roommate. "I just… I don't know."

Thad took in a deep breath and sighed, his eyes finding the ceiling. "She was my first. I wasn't hers, but, I don't know. After she stopped coming here, I guess I just started sleeping with anyone I could," he paused. "…Hooking up isn't _bad_. It's just…less…" He hesitated, eyes roaming as he tried to phrase his words, "It's less _lasting_. Like you fuck a girl and then the next day, you might as well fuck a different one. You can't enjoy it after it's done because the girl's gone. And then it's just girl after girl."

Kurt watched as Thad spoke, and waited a few moments before talking. "Can you tell the difference between…wanting someone for sex and because you care about them?"

The dark-haired boy looked at him a little strangely then, nuzzling further into his pillow and regaining the sleepy look in his eyes. "Yeah…?"

"How?"

Thad's eyes fell closed, and he made a sleepy shrug. "Come on. It's, like… You want her with your dick or you want her with your heart… Or _him_ in your case, but whatever…" He cracked open an eye when Kurt hadn't responded and found him blinking at nothing in thought. "If you see him after he OD'd on heroin, when he was vomiting every two minutes during withdrawal, after he wakes up with that fucking ridiculous mop of hair he has—and you _still_ want him, I think you're fine, Kurt."

The pale boy smiled as Thad's eyes shut and his face relaxed. His mouth fell open just the slightest amount and Kurt sighed fondly. "Thanks," he mumbled to his roommate, though he was sure the dark-haired boy was asleep after his long night of being taken by words on pages.

…He wondered how many books Thad had read, and how many times.

What did the boy gain out of reading? Whose lives did he live through as he turned every page? What was he trying to escape from?

Kurt realized something as he headed slowly out of his room and headed down to his boyfriend's. Regardless of the assholes that called themselves students that he had to deal with daily, and the _sadist bastards_, as Thad had so tastefully called them once, that ran the place, Kurt realized that he was damn _glad_ he was sent to Dalton.

* * *

><p>Blaine woke to the sight of a pair of ocean-blue eyes that matched the ones he had been looking into as he slept.<p>

Kurt smiled down at him, his grin widening fondly and crinkling the corners of his eyes when the curly-haired boy let out a small grunt with his stretch. "'Morning," he brought a hand to run through his boyfriend's curls, his fingers stopping when they reached his neck.

"_Mmm_, 'morning," Blaine murmured in reply, his voice positively low and raspy from not using it while he slept. He blinked his eyes a few times, clearing them from sleep, just staring at Kurt before he spoke again, his voice soft. "I was dreaming about you."

The fair-skinned boy's eyebrows rose just slightly, his face taking on a mild expression of surprise. "Is that so?"

Blaine just nodded, pressing his palms into his eyes and letting out a yawn. He paused then, pulling his hands away, staring intently at them as he wrung them together, his face contemplative. "Yeah. We were—driving around somewhere on a long road, just the two of us. In one of those…old convertibles," he turned his eyes to Kurt's then, watching for his reaction.

His lips quirked up into a soft smile, and he tugged Blaine's hand gently, pulling him onto his feet. "Then what happened?" He led them into the bathroom, and started running water in the shower, bringing it to a comfortable temperature. They both began getting undressed.

"We just…kept going to all these amazing places. Everywhere. I think they were in different countries, maybe even—_continents_—even if that's not really possible by car."

"Hmmm," Kurt hummed out thoughtfully as they stepped into the spray of the shower and began rinsing themselves.

The two boys gently washed each other, exchanging kisses and light touches, nothing more. Kurt ran his hands down Blaine's broad shoulders, pressing where his body wash was still lathered and digging his thumbs into the tight muscles, knowing it had been far too long since he'd given his boyfriend a massage. They spent the time in silence, aside from small sounds of pleasure and quiet chuckles.

It wasn't until they had dried off and thrown on boxers and were lying comfortably in Blaine's bed that Kurt spoke again. "I'd like to do that, you know."

Blaine dropped his head in the other boy's direction, watching him for a moment. "…Do what?" He ran a finger slowly down Kurt's pale cheek, waiting for his response.

It came after a thoughtful few seconds. "Travel," he all but breathed out, "Just be on the road. Not have any permanent address for a while. Maybe get a van or stay in crappy motels in different towns and cities."

The curly-haired boy couldn't help but crack a smile. He placed his hand flat on Kurt's chest and looked at him. "_Kurt Hummel_? Wanting to stay in crappy motels or—a _van_? What happened to the Upper East Side and a walk-in closet? And didn't you say you used to want to be on Broadway?"

Kurt smiled after a while, his eyes a thousand miles away, a kind of building excitement behind them. "I still do want those things… I just realized lately that I want other things, too. And I want the things I want differently… Not to mention, after being here for so long, it'd be nice to be completely free, wouldn't it?"

Blaine's eyes changed, losing any trace of amusement that they had and growing fond and serious. His face softened and he brought himself closer to Kurt. "…Yeah, it would."

Kurt felt a bubbling kind of nervous anticipation, knowing he was _ready_, what he was ready for, and knowing Blaine didn't.

There was suddenly a lot of electricity in the air, and they both felt the thickness in the space around them. Something was happening, and if there was a time that they had a magnetic pull, this would be it.

Someone kissed someone, then, and it was like setting off sparks.

Undressing was easy, and hot hands roamed over each other's young bodies, touching and feeling with a sense of longing and need that they'd never had before.

Blaine rested in between Kurt's legs, just pressing their bodies together and kissing his neck, and the pale boy curled his hands under his boyfriend's arms and over his shoulders, his eyes falling shut as he felt the muscles of his biceps and back. "You're so strong, Blaine," his voice was a breathy mess, and his head was spinning with what would happen next. "_Touch me_."

Blaine snaked a hand between them, moaning at the intensity in the air and heat of their bodies.

"Not—" Kurt grabbed his boyfriend's hand as it began rubbing it teasingly over his cock, and he moved it lower, spreading his thighs. "_Please_…"

"…Kurt."

"Remember what I told you? I'll just…keep my eyes on you. And hear your voice…" He brought Blaine's hand that was near his entrance up by his stomach, tangling their fingers together. "You're beautiful…and gentle…and I _trust_ you, Blaine. Please… I want to feel you _so _bad…"

And so Blaine dug out some lube from his bedside drawer and spread it onto his fingers, and pressed them slowly into Kurt, one by one.

There was no yelling or panicking or stopping, only gentle hands and two boys in love, one keeping his eyes locked on the other for reassurance, and the other watching his boyfriend fall apart under the touch of his fingers.

Kurt moaned into the quiet room as Blaine pressed against the spot inside of him, and his eyes clamped shut against his hardest efforts to keep them open, to watch Blaine. But it was past the point of being reminded of his attack. This was all them. This was all sex and sweat and good.

"_B-Blaine_," he whispered out brokenly, his body writhing with want as his boyfriend continued working inside of him. "I want _more_, Blaine, _please_," his voice was lower than he ever remembered hearing and felt funny coming off his tongue.

The curly-haired boy paused, looking down at his occupied hand and seeing three fingers were already inside. He could put in the fourth, but was that what Kurt meant?

"Blaine…" The tone of Kurt's voice made him look up and he gently removed his fingers. The pale boy pulled him up so they were lying beside each other, partially overlapping, both of them still hot and hard and needy. "I want… I want to go all the way…"

Blaine's breathing hitched and he felt his body reacting physically to the statement. He dug his face into Kurt's neck and exhaled shakily. "Oh, Kurt…"

"Do you… Do you want me like that?" Kurt asked tentatively, trying not to feel dizzy at the way their cocks brushed together.

Blaine sat up suddenly, placing one hand on Kurt's hip and bending over him so he could look into his eyes. "_God_ yes. Kurt, I've wanted you since the first time I saw you… But I… I don't want you to do something you don't want to…"

Kurt shook his head, staring up into the other boy's hazel-gold eyes. "I love you."

The curly-haired boy nodded, moving aside and making to grab a condom from his drawer.

"W-wait—Blaine?" The boy stopped, looking back to Kurt, who was kneeling beside him. "Do we…? Um. Can we _not_ use one…?"

Blaine deflated slightly, looking almost apologetic. "Babe… It's just being safe. We've both been with other people and—"

"_I'm_ clean… _You're_…clean, right? They tested you when you were in critical care…" Kurt's eyes were big and hopeful, if not a bit anxious. He wanted this to be perfect. He wanted to _feel_ Blaine. All of him.

"Okay," Blaine agreed softly, turning and pressing into Kurt in a kiss, his arms wrapping around the pale boy. After a few minutes, he pulled away breathlessly. "Do you wanna? Or do you want _me_ to?"

Kurt was confused for a moment, before—_oh_. "…Is it wrong that after…everything, I still want to bottom when I'm with a man?"

Blaine breathed out against Kurt's skin, shaking his head lightly, his golden eyes blazing. "No. Of _course_ it isn't…"

They continued to kiss and were growing excessively aroused. Blaine worked his fingers back into Kurt and looked at him. "You're so gorgeous, baby…" He paused, hearing the soft breathing of his boyfriend. "…You doing okay?"

Kurt nodded with a small smile. "Y-yeah… Just…a little nervous. Don't really know what I'm doing, you might have to…talk me through this a little bit…"

Blaine's eyebrows pulled together a little in confusion. "…What do you mean? I mean, you've…been with other guys?"

Kurt's eyes fell shut when the curly-haired boy's fingers moved in him and he seemed distracted from the conversation. "Yeah, but… I didn't really do anything but…lay there…"

It all hit him at once.

The way he acted when they were together.

The fact that he'd never had or given oral before him.

Blaine had assumed that the way Kurt was and looked that he'd have had a boyfriend before, but…

That was all assumption.

Kurt said he wasn't a virgin, but he was referring to the _rape_.

That was the first time he'd ever been with anyone.

"Kurt…" Blaine's voice came out thicker than he remembered it sounding. "The only…time you ever were with someone was…your rape?"

Kurt sat up slightly as Blaine pulled his fingers away. "…I thought you knew."

"Babe… You said you weren't a virgin, but…that doesn't count," he pulled Kurt in for a kiss, feeling the pale boy practically cling to him, their breath shared between them even as they pulled apart. "…Being raped isn't losing your virginity… Losing your virginity is when you…_give_ yourself to someone…"

The pale boy's eyes were wet at that point and he had a soft expression on his face as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders, pulling them to be horizontal again. "I've never given myself to anyone…in any way…until you…"

They kissed and Blaine pressed open Kurt's pale legs and positioned himself there, holding his throbbing cock and pressing it gently against Kurt's entrance. "Kurt," he breathed out, his voice trembling. "I want you to know…I've never topped before."

Kurt's eyes were watching and lust-blown and widened slightly at the information.

"This is new for both of us, okay?" Blaine had never looked more vulnerable and beautiful than he did at that moment, his eyes huge and shining, eyelashes so close to Kurt's face, he might be able to count them if he tried. "I-if you still want this, I want to be the one you let have your virginity…"

Kurt whimpered, nodding his head and digging his nails into Blaine's tan shoulders. "I love you."

"…I love _you_."

And Blaine took him right there.

The air was hot and filled with warm breaths and their searing bodies, slick with sweat and drowned out by the heavy panting and small noises of pleasure.

Blaine slipped in and out of Kurt gently, his hands shaking as they gripped the pale boy's hips, his face long ago buried into his smooth chest.

It was hot and slow and love.

After the initial awkward movements and thrusts, they got to a point where they were completely in synch, and yes—holy _fuck_, because—

It was exactly what Kurt had thought it would be. It was satisfying some deep need that longed to be fully connected to Blaine, and this was it.

He was a cloud of electricity, and Blaine was the spark that set him off, causing this blinding bolt of lightning as they connected, something he had no idea was possible, but he had always somehow known he wanted. This was his _it_.

This had to be making love.

He wasn't sure when Blaine's shaking hand had found its way to his cock, but he suddenly felt everything building up, in his _body_, his _skin_, his _bones_ and _veins_, in his _heart_. It was almost terrifying.

"_Blaine_," it came out more as a moan than anything intelligible. "I'm gonna—oh _god_!"

His mouth fell open as the pleasure rolled on in waves. He thought at one point that he had perhaps died.

Kurt hoped this was what dying was like.

It wasn't long after that he heard Blaine's panting getting faster, and his hips jerked messily and sporadically, moving around in all the places that Kurt was still so sensitive and he felt warmth inside of him, in hot pulses, and when Blaine fell on top of him, every inch of his skin _burned_ where they touched.

He knew it was right.

"Kurt… Oh my god, Kurt… _Kurt_," Blaine pulled out achingly slowly and was rambling into his neck as he collapsed beside him. The boy's lips were wet, and his own neck was wet with sweat, and Kurt felt like he did when he was too high, except with more clarity and love.

"…Wow…"

After a few moments of loud breathing, Blaine turned to Kurt and mouthed his way to his lips, pressing them softly together and exhaling harshly though his nose against the pale boy's skin. "Kurt… Tell me something before we both fall asleep…"

Kurt hummed out a noise in response.

"Where do you want to go…more than any other place in the world when you travel…?"

"…I want to go to Paris… I want to take a boat across the Seine at…sunset…"

Blaine closed his eyes and wrapped an arm around the boy's naked torso, pressing a kiss to his shoulder and winding his fingers of his other hand together with Kurt's. "I want to make a promise…_right_ now. We're going to go there. I'm going to take you there."

Kurt was so close to sleep, the only response he had was to tighten his fingers where they were holding Blaine's.

Two boys fell asleep that late-morning after giving each other something no one else would ever get.

* * *

><p>"Shit!" Jeff stumbled back and nearly fell onto his ass, eyebrows furrowing together angrily when Kurt giggled next to him. "Shut up."<p>

Kurt stepped past him, still amused, and swept up the _ball_ of hair that was living on the floor into his trashcan. "Sorry. I didn't clean up after I did Blaine's hair."

Jeff watched his actions with a disturbed expression on his face. "I thought that was a large _rat_… Did you _shave_ his head? How much hair can one person have trimmed off?"

The pale boy's eyes widened and shook his head slightly. "You'd be surprised… It hardly looks different… _Anyway_!" He clapped his hands together once he finished quickly cleaning the floor. "Just…a trim again? You're looking slightly reminiscent of a blonde Briard…"

Jeff's mouth twitched up on one side and he pushed his long bangs from his face. "Yeah… Well, can you get it back to how it looked when it was a good length?"

Kurt smiled and nodded, gesturing to the seat that was in front of them with a sweeping gesture of his hand. He fastened a towel around the blonde's shoulders and unclasped the dog tag from where it was around his neck, sliding it into the boy's hand. "So we don't forget about it again…"

"Right," Jeff smiled, and the two fell into a comfortable-enough silence as Kurt snipped his hair. A few minutes passed and the blonde caught sight of a small piece of dark, straight hair on the floor beside his foot. He knew Thad and Wes both had very dark hair as well, and everyone sans David was letting Kurt cut their hair that day, but he wondered. "Did you cut Nick's hair before this…?"

The short pause before Kurt spoke was enough of an answer. "Yes. I cut his before Blaine's," Kurt replied casually, turning Jeff's head slightly to get a better angle.

"Did you…talk to him about anything?"

Kurt hummed, shrugging a little. "Of course. We talked about a lot of things," he exchanged a glance with Jeff through the mirror in front of them, raising an eyebrow. "Though if you were trying to subtly ask if we talked about _you_—which you failed at, by the way—then, yes… You did come up in the conversation."

Jeff waited for Kurt to elaborate, but when he didn't, he sighed. "He hates me, right? He pretty much snaps at everything I do, and even though he says he isn't, I can just—_tell_ he's super uncomfortable that I'm gay and that I like him. Like, we _live_ together, and—and he must just hate that it's gonna be for another whole year—"

"Stop. Jeff, stop," Kurt warned, stopping the cutting and crossing his arms over his chest, giving the other boy a stern look through the reflection. "…We were talking about camping and he got _sad_ because he said it would be weird going now that you two were fighting," Kurt paused, shaking his head a little. "He does _not_ hate you."

Jeff just fell into silence, staring ahead and eventually Kurt continued working on his hair.

Nick had said they _were fighting_.

Jeff had always sort of seen it as they weren't friends anymore, that their friendship was _over_, not just on the rocks.

Maybe there was more to come of this.

"There, all done…" Kurt's voice sounded sort of quiet, not bright with the usual enthusiasm he tended to have after finishing a masterpiece of a stylish haircut. "Like it?"

The blonde drew his eyes up to the mirror and looked at his reflection.

His face was solemn and his eyes looked tired and sad. This whole deal with Nick took so much out of him. Nick was his routine, his best friend, his go-to, his life. Having him not there so suddenly was making him akin to ill.

But right, his hair, that's what he was supposed to be looking at… _Flawless_, of course.

"It's perfect, Kurt, thank you," Jeff mumbled with a smile, seeing his friend's smirk through the mirror.

"Oh, I know," he waved a pale hand dismissively, turning on his heel and moving to sit down on his bed, relaxing back into the pillows. "…Have you finished packing yet?"

Jeff removed the towel from his shoulders and brushed himself off thoroughly, returning his dog tag to its rightful place and running a hand through his freshly-cut hair, lazily flopping down onto Thad's empty bed, an expression of puzzlement on his features. "…For what?"

Kurt's face showed shock. "For _camp week_. It's _tomorrow_, Jeff. Please tell me you've _started_, at least."

The blonde blinked for a few moments, then shrugged. "I just have to throw in some shorts and t-shirts and stuff. And some swim trunks."

The pale boy raised a delicate eyebrow, trying not to show his horror. "If you're going to be gay, you have to understand the reality of the importance of fashion when outside of uniform dress code. I've given up on Blaine and his hoodies and jeans, but there still may be time to save _you_," Kurt's eyes were distant and he began mentally planning, but he stopped dead in his tracks and whipped his head to the other boy in the room. "Wait, did you say _swim trunks_?"

Jeff chuckled a little, folding his arms on his stomach and lying flat on his back. "Relax, Kurt. It's not mandatory. We're right by Little Miami River and the water feels amazing this time of year."

Kurt huffed, shaking his head. "We'll see…"

Jeff smiled at him, his expression falling to shock and his eyebrows shooting up when he watched Kurt shift on his bed, being careful with his movements and wincing just slightly. "Kurt… Oh my _god_, Kurt! Did you have sex?"

Kurt inhaled sharply, his eyes darting quickly around him. "_What_?"

"I'm right, aren't I?" Jeff grinned at his achievement of figuring it out, but then he paused, his face pulling a small grimace. "…Wait …It wasn't, like, _today_, was it?" He eyed the bed Kurt was sitting on with a wary expression.

"No, it was not _today_. It was yesterday…in Blaine's room," Kurt raised his chin haughtily, raising an eyebrow at the blonde and feigning nonchalance.

Jeff's teasing expression slowly dropped and his face softened slightly. "You're okay, though? After… Well."

Kurt nodded, an involuntary smile tugging at his lips. "Very much so _okay_. Blaine is a gentleman and gentle lover for that matter. Like, at first, when we were—"

"Oh _god_, Kurt," Jeff clamped his eyes shut, placing a hand on his face. "_Virgin_ ears, remember…? I don't want to know this. I hear enough about everyone's sex that I can't relate to. I don't need to know about your sex life now, too."

The pale boy's face burned with a blush, and he blinked a few times. "Right. Well. Let's get you packed, hmm? I'm not letting you fall prey to the nightmare that is oversized t-shirts and cargo pants," Kurt stood and gestured for his friend to follow him, heading out the door. "With your body-type, we could do great things with fitted tees and cut-offs…"

Jeff rolled his eyes good-naturedly, allowing Kurt to lead him into his own room, and presumably tackle what was his limited closet.

* * *

><p>"We have to do something," Thad announced calmly but seriously to his three friends once they had been on the bus for a few minutes.<p>

Next to him, Trent raised an eyebrow, and Wes and David leaned back from the seat in front of them. "About…?" Trent prompted, sharing confused glances with the other two.

"_That_," the dark-haired boy simply nodded his head forward, his eyes trained on the seats a few places up, where Nick and Jeff sat beside each other, making great effort to avoid eye contact and interaction of any kind. "It's disgusting. They're giving me migraines with all the depressing shit they've been doing lately."

"Dude, why are they even sitting together? They're torturing themselves…" Trent frowned.

"They're, like, attached to each other, regardless of whether or not they're fighting. It's pissing me off."

Wes's eyebrows pulled together. "Why do _we_ have to do something about it? They need to figure their own shit out."

Thad sighed. "That might have worked when it was Kurt and B, but that's because neither of them are as idiotic as these two. Jeff's too scared to do anything, and Nick's just…_Nick_…"

"So what's your plan, sir?" David rested his chin on his arms folded over the back of the seat, looking at Thad intently.

"Well, here's what I thought…"

* * *

><p>The lot of 14 from group therapy walked into their cabin, most of the guys there already having seen the camp the year before, absently tossing their bags and belongings onto random beds and bunks and leaving to the mess hall, where they were to have their first meal. Kurt wandered in cautiously behind Blaine, scanning his surroundings with distaste.<p>

"It's dirty in here, Blaine."

"Babe, it's not dirty. It's a _cabin_."

Kurt sighed in defeat, spotting an empty bunk-bed near the back of the room of space. He tugged the back of Blaine's shirt. "We should claim those beds."

Blaine blinked at him. "Do we need _two_ beds?"

David snorted at his comment as he walked past, sitting down on one of the other empty beds in the room.

"Blaine, just put your stuff on the top one… The Warblers are great and everything, but I'd rather have both beds than one of them sleeping and snoring above me… We have enough places, anyway."

Blaine smiled and leaned forward, giving Kurt a soft kiss on the lips before chucking his bag onto the top bunk while Kurt placed his on the bottom.

Blaine laughed internally at the irony of it.

They made their way out of the cabin and towards the mess hall, which was on the other side of the camp.

Thad stood near the door, his arms over his chest, watching as most of the boys had left the cabin, looking bored. Just as Nick was about to pass him and exit, he grabbed him by the front of the shirt, and dragged him over to the bed he had claimed, pushing him and causing the boy to fall back onto it.

"What the hell, Thad? What are you doing?"

"I think we should have a chat…"

Nick sighed exaggeratedly and pressed his palms against his eyes in distress. "O_kay_. Talk, then. _Chat_."

Thad raised an eyebrow, leaning against the post of Nick's bunk-bed, one hand moving to tangle into his hair, thoughtful. "…You need to stop being a fucking _idiot_,"

Nick growled, scoffing and rolling his eyes and springing to his feet, attempting to escape the area. "Don't I always? You're an ass."

The other boy sighed long-sufferingly, turning to see Nick standing still, facing away from him. "_Obviously_. Doesn't change the fact that what I said is true. This shit with Jeff is pissing _everyone_ off. You and him aren't the only ones suffering from this crap."

Nick spun around quickly, his eyebrows furrowed together in frustration. "Don't fucking get pissed at _me_ for that. _He's_ the one who's been—"

"_No_," Thad scolded, his voice taking a tone, "You've _both_ been doing this. _He_ loves _you_. _He_ freaked out. _You_ got mad that _he_ freaked out. It's all stupid shit and now you're fighting over every little thing."

The other boy's face softened as his anger fell. He didn't say anything, the room felt quiet.

"And _now_, you need to fix it. It's seriously pissing me off that it's gotten to the point that I need to sit you down like a child and tell you how to clean up your own mess. Are you stupid, or something…? I mean, _Nick_…" He said the boy's name with a lot of heart and with a sudden gentle quality to his voice, "I don't…_befriend _just anyone, you know? You're a fucking fantastic guy, and so is Jeff. _I'd_ know. _I'm_ the one who decided to steal you two into our group the day you moved in next door to me… But you've _got_ to get your shit together, man. It's getting ridiculous."

Nick's face showed no emotion, his eyes avoiding Thad's. "What do you expect me to do, Thad…? I've told him a thousand times that I don't _care_ that he's gay—that he feels that way about me. He's the one who…freaked out."

Thad kept his gaze steady, watching the boy closely who wasn't looking at him. "…Which freaked _you_ out…?"

Nick shrugged quickly with one shoulder, his eyes blinking as he thought. "Well, _yeah_, I guess… I hate the fact that he's _freaked out_ with the idea of _being in love with me_…"

The other boy tilted his head, his words coming out slow and careful, "And why is that?"

When Nick's eyebrow knitted together and he trained his gaze back to Thad, his face was lost, confused. He tried to respond, but couldn't.

Thad glanced down to the watch on his wrist, then jerked his head in the direction of the door, taking a step towards it, "Come on, let's go."

He'd give him some time to think about it. They'd talked enough for that day.

* * *

><p>"<em>Jeff<em>," David called out to the blonde, "Wait up!" This caused him to turn around sharply, his face melting into understanding as he saw the dark-skinned boy and Wes trying to catch up with him.

"Hey, Jeff," Wes greeted sweetly, his face scrunching up in a smile as they flanked the boy on each side, stepping back into a steady pace. Jeff's face fell slowly, his eyebrow rising in suspicion.

"What do you guys want?" Jeff asked hesitantly, eyeing the Asian boy with a disturbed expression. Wes acting _this_ nice and friendly to him had to mean _something_.

David sent a pointed look at Wes, frowning that he'd given them away so quickly, but he recovered quickly. He turned kindly to Jeff, his face sincere. "We wanted to talk to you about Nick."

Jeff looked ahead intently as they walked. "Well, I don't_ want_ to talk about…_Nick_."

Wes furrowed his eyebrows together. "Listen, man. It's just—you guys have been so _hostile_ with each other and—"

"I just said I don't _fucking_ want to talk about it, okay?" He tore away from both of them harshly, spinning around and facing them as they all stopped walking. "You guys have been such _assholes_ about all this. You've been fucking with me and giving me _so_ much shit about liking Nick. It's like—this is _really_ personal, and I knew you guys would find out after I told him, but you could have been more understanding…" He took a breath, "I know neither of you have ever been in a—a serious relationship, and—I don't know if you've ever been _in love_, but it fucking hurts a lot more than it feels good."

Wes and David exchanged a hesitant glance and silence fell over the three boys briefly, Jeff's words heavy in the air before they turned back to the blonde who just stared at them, looking hurt but slightly expectant. "You're right," David shrugged, shaking his head a little to himself. "We've been dicks. But…things have escalated and you guys have been pretty much verbally abusing each other lately. And all joking aside, we _care_ about you. _Both_ of you… And…I just have one thing to say before we drop this: You need to calm down—_You need to calm down_ and you need to give Nick some credit. I mean it's _Nick_… Just remember that."

Jeff blinked a few times and turned, starting to walk again. The other two boys looked at each other and followed him, coming up and taking the places beside him, and the three walked in silence to the mess hall.

When they reached the building, the two roommates made brief eye contact with Trent, who sat at a table with Kurt and Blaine, and the larger teen nodded subtly, flashing the smallest of thumbs-up. He had completed his part of informing the two boys on their plans. Wes and David returned the thumbs-up.

If Thad had successfully talked to Nick, all was falling into place.

* * *

><p>"Where's Ms. Webber?" Wes frowned, his eyebrows knitting together as he and the other boys entered the small clearing after their camp counselor, seeing no one else waiting there.<p>

"She's not here," their leader said brightly—Brian, the annoyingly enthusiastic redhead who was probably only a few years older than they were. He still had acne and wore his hair at a short length that seemed awkward for his face shape.

Trent exchanged a look with Blaine, wide eyes rolling, and huffed over to where a few other boys had sat around the logs in the clearing, taking a seat himself. "She was here last year. And freshman year… Are we not gonna have group?"

Brian gestured for everyone to take a seat, and the boys did, the group of eight near each other, though Jeff and Nick on opposite sides of the boys. The redhead sat down as well, clapping his hands together once before speaking. "We're all friends here, you guys. You've all known each other since you were sent to Dalton, right?"

The boys all rolled their eyes, giving halfhearted affirmative responses and hums. Blaine sighed, glancing at his boyfriend, who just shrugged. The curly-haired boy slid to the ground, pressing his back against the log and sitting between the pale boy's legs. He let his eyes travel to the leg on his right…

Kurt was wearing tight denim shorts, stopping just above the knee. Blaine ran a hand down his bare shin, earning a raised eyebrow from the boy.

Sometimes he just had to remind himself he wasn't dreaming.

"Right! So we're gonna be talking for a while about what's going on, but it's just gonna be us. Don't think of this as—as _group therapy_, just as us all hanging out and talking. No different than any other time," Brian was saying, though no one really looked too into the idea.

Thad slowly raised his head from where he had been resting it in his hands, eyeing the camp leader with a narrowed expression. "…Ugh. I _hate_ you."

Brian held his hands up defensively, "Hey, kid, come on. What's your name?"

"…Thad."

"Thad, right. Well, hey, Thad, what's making you angry? Are you pissed about something?"

The dark-haired boy scoffed, crossing his arms tightly across his chest, pausing for a long moment before he spoke. "Yeah. I'm 17, I'm at a gay summer camp—" he cut himself off, wincing at his own wording, "No offense, Kurt, Blaine," he turned to the two boys, then hesitated, looking thoughtful "Jeff," he added with a shrug. "I'm at a _lame_ summer camp. I've been at reform school since I was 14. My twin brother died this year. I haven't gotten _laid_ in six months, and two of my idiot friends here have been pissing me off for a while now too," he narrowed his eyes at Nick, who was sitting right beside him.

Everyone in the clearing was silent, shifting around in the summer heat, and Brian rubbed his hands together. "Well, Thad, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. We all go through losses and I'm glad you're getting through it… And all you can do to get through being in reform school is to be on best behavior and keep going to classes. Next year is your last year, and then you're a free man."

Thad shrugged indifferently, smirking to himself that the counselor sounded nervous as he tried to talk through his problems. The dark-haired boy had doubt that the guy knew what he got himself into signing up for the job.

"And what's been going on with your friends?" Brian asked him, his voice dripping with the most likely fake, over-the-top kind of concern that made Thad's skin itch. The redhead eyed the boys surrounding him, trying to make guesses at which ones he was referring to.

"Really. You're gonna bring this up _now_, Thad? God, you guys have problems respecting other people's business," Jeff crossed his arms, his face contorting in frustration at the situation. Nick let his eyes fall on the blonde, his eyes worried and longing, though still with hurt present.

"You guys have problems _keeping_ it your business. I've heard so much shouting through my fucking door in the past two week—"

"Okay, fuck, Thad. When Jeff and I get our shit together isn't your concern. Bringing this up in group isn't cool."

"Oh," Thad started, his voice overly sweet, "this isn't _group therapy_, _Nicholas_. This is just a bunch of us, _hanging out and talking_. Right, _Brian_?"

The redhead looked scared for his life. The rest of the guys in the clearing sighed at the drama. When Brian didn't respond, Nick breathed out loudly, calming down from his mood. "Whatever, okay? Don't get all pissy just because you haven't been fucked in half a year."

A few of the guys laughed at this.

Thad shrugged, giving up the fight. Clearly, the talking earlier that day hadn't helped as the two roommates were still hostile towards each other, but apparently bringing it up during group wasn't helpful either. He'd have to think of some other way to get them to resolve their differences. "Hell. You haven't gotten any since then, too, you know. And at least I didn't get an infected dick from it."

More quiet bubbles of laughter. Kurt began carding his fingers through his boyfriend's curls, hearing Blaine making thoughtful humming noises. The pale boy stopped his hands' movements as Blaine spoke. "Okay, this is gonna sound weird…" He addressed the entire group, his voice tinted with amusement.

More than one person in the area was glad someone was changing the subject.

"Okay," Blaine began again. "So, I mean—obviously, I'm _gay_," he gestured vaguely between him and Kurt, "so—and we're dating—but. So I get sex stuff, like, whenever I want," Kurt raised an eyebrow at him when the guys in the group chuckled, "And even before, well, you know. I hooked up with guys because it's what I'm into and they were around… So… Do you guys, like, _ever _ get laid? I just can't imagine having to seek out people that don't go to Dalton to come visit and hook up. Unless you're dating someone from home, I guess."

Most of the guys had looks that fell between embarrassed and amused.

Blaine was thankful for the fact that he'd talked about his gay sex life with these guys before. They could be trusted.

"_Dude_," one of the boys—Alex—started, huffing out a humorless laugh. "I literally haven't even gotten a handjob in two years. I'm really sexually deprived."

"Not a lot of girls want to drive out to Dalton to screw some criminal loser," Trent agreed, shrugging sadly.

The conversation turned towards lighter topics and soon the talking hour was over.

In times like those, the boys were happy for the group they got put into—or _moved_ into—as it was clear how easily they could talk. The Warblers didn't meet anymore. They wouldn't until competition season the next year, but they were all still friends. They depended on each other more than they usually realized.

Next it was time for what Brian called '_teambuilding exercises_'.

They set out to hike past the clearing, coming across a varying series of physical, cliché-looking activities and set-ups. One was some kind of wooden dock that was high above the ground, made up of panels of wood, leaving gaps. A rope course along the ground, probably for tangling feet, next to something that looked suspiciously similar to the chicken wire ditches they used to train those going into the military, except without the dangerous barbed wire.

"Please, no…" Kurt came to a careful stop as they reached the area, causing Blaine and David to look back at him, curiosity present on their faces. He blinked at glanced between them. "Tell me those are just coincidently there, and we're about to walk right past them and go talk about our feelings more."

The two laughed, and Nick approached them as he overheard, making to open his mouth and respond, but Kurt cut him off.

"Don't you dare tell me it's '_actually really fun_'," he used air quotes. "That's what you said about this whole trip in the first place. I've already gotten two bug bites and the sun is melting the soles of my shoes to the ground. I should have just gotten put on probation on purpose to avoid this whole disaster…"

Nick rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "Oh, come on, Kurt," he patted the pale boy on the back as they all moved towards the rope course. Just as Blaine wrapped an arm around Kurt, Nick leaned into him quickly. "_It's actually really fun_!" And he darted away, hardly missing Kurt trying to smack him in the arm.

"Alright, guys!" Brian addressed the group. "We're going to divide up into _two_ groups. Most of you have done this before and know the rules. We're starting with the rope course relay," he held out his hand, opening his palm to reveal two small marbles, one red and the other green. "The marble will be passed to each member of each group, but the one with the marble will be blindfolded. This is about listening to your peers and trusting them. _They_ have to give you directions on where to go, making sure you don't trip over the ropes, and who to give it to."

They got divided easily, halving the groups where they stood, David, Jeff, Nick, Blaine, and Kurt all together with two other boys. The course was equivalent to a random and messy spider web of rope stretched over an area of ground, and ropes hung from trees above, for support.

The activity started off rather simply, and to Kurt's surprise, the groups of boys got rather enthusiastic, especially considering they were cheering about the relay of a marble. After one member passed, they had to be blindly directed to the next, and so on.

It wasn't until Nick had the marble on team Red that things got difficult.

"Okay! Okay—step to your left!"

"Grab the rope in front of you! It's right in front of you!"

"Left!"

"Go right!"

It wasn't the first time someone had taken a fall. The dark-haired boy caught his left leg on a line and reached out aimlessly with his hand, searching for a support rope, but to no avail. He toppled over and landed gracelessly with his face hitting the ground.

"Oh, shit! Nick, you okay?"

"Come on, reach up! There's a rope above you to help you up!"

The boy tore off the material around his eyes with a growl, causing the rest of both groups to hesitantly stop their actions. "What the _fuck_, Jeff?"

The blonde blinked in surprise, taking an involuntary step back, not saying anything.

"Oh, Nick! You're bleeding," Kurt hopped over to him, his careful footing winding around the rope course. He bent down and grabbed the boy's blindfold, pressing it onto his face where his nose was bleeding. "Are you okay?"

"What the hell is your problem, Jeff? There was literally nowhere I could go _right_ that I _wouldn't_ have tripped on something."

Jeff looked shocked, shaking his head. "I—"

"I _recognize_ your voice, you know. I'm not an idiot."

"I—I know. I didn't—You know I have problems with my lefts and rights, I—"

Nick tore away from Kurt, stomping over to the blonde, causing him to back away slightly, something akin to fear present behind his eyes. "This shit is getting _so old_, Jeff. I've apologized, I've tried to talk it out, I've done fucking _everything_. And now am I pissed? _Yeah_. I'm pissed because you can't just let it all go!"

"_Nick_, I _wasn't_—" Jeff tried to cut in, his voice growing with frustration, but Nick continued.

"I can't buy your bullshit anymore! If this is what it's gonna be like—"

"_Enough_! Guys! This has gone too far!" Brian stepped between them, holding each by the bicep. "I'm calling in Ken to come get both of you. I want you _both_ to go back to your cabin. Instead of getting to be outside with everyone else, you're gonna be stuck back at camp. Nick, because you're the one to start this, I'm scheduling a session with Ms. Webber for you."

"Wait! But why do _I _even have to go at all? I didn't do—"

"Enough!" Brian cut off Jeff's attempt at defending himself, and promptly called another counselor to find their site.

Once the tall, dark-skinned man arrived, he began leading the two roommates back to their cabin. The two boys said nothing to each other, simply walked in silence until they reached the building, the sound of the leaves and earth crunching beneath their feet.

"Don't start anything," the tall counselor warned them as he began leaving. "We're just letting you get changed and clean up," he gestured to the dried blood on Nick's face. "After that, _you_," he pointed at Nick, "head straight over to Schiewetz Assembly Hall to meet Ms. Webber and _you_ stay out of trouble in here. I have somewhere to be… _Behave_," he said one last time before closing the cabin door after himself. There was an eerie silence following his exit.

Nick broke it by sighing loudly, turning to find the sinks at the back of the cabin and running water, beginning to scrub at his face. "Fucking… _Ugh_," he mumbled to himself, his eyebrows knitted to show how upset he still was.

Jeff sat hesitantly down on a nearby bed, folding his hands together as he watched the back of Nick's head.

"You _know_," Nick spat out as he turned the sink off, finish cleaning, causing the blonde to jump in surprise, "If you wanted to hurt me, you didn't have to trick me to fall down."

"_Nick_. I _seriously_ didn't mean to—"

"You could have just pushed me, you know? Punched me, whatever." Nick turned to him, his arms folded.

Jeff's face scrunched in anger. "I didn't fucking mean to."

Nick rolled his eyes sarcastically. "Fuck you, liar. Just _admit_ it. You hate me because I don't feel that way about you. _That_'s what this is all fucking about."

The blonde let out an audible growl, rising to his feet and coming up to Nick, getting into his space. "I don't fucking _hate_ you! I'm pissed, but you—ugh! Why are you being like this?" He narrowed his eyes, getting closer to the dark-haired boy.

"See? God, you're so fucking angry. Hit me, then, huh? Fucking hit me!" He shoved Jeff in the chest, causing him to stumble back a step, but still kept his harsh expression.

"Quit it, Nick!"

"What? Don't wanna hit me? What the fuck do you want, then? Just punch me, Jeff! Maybe you'll feel—"

_Smack!_

Nick stumbled back at the blow, his hand going up to his chin, his face still full of rage. He didn't hesitate a second before pouncing on the blonde, throwing a hard fist to his shoulder.

The two began throwing blind punches at each other, finally Jeff tackling the shorter boy to the ground, leaning over him. "You're a fucking dick, you know?" The blond breathed as he brought his fist down against his roommate's cheek.

Nick grabbed his arm, twisting it down harshly, earning a moan of pain. He pushed Jeff onto his stomach and crouched above him. "_Me_? You're the one who—fucking—_ruined_ everything!"

Jeff struggled and winced against the ground, his voice coming out muffled against the floor. "I fucking _knew_ you weren't okay with me being gay, you asshole!" He tried to squirm, and was able to get a good kick into Nick's side, causing the boy to huff out a breath.

"I'm not—It's not that!" Nick tried, tasting blood from something or other on his lip. "It's just—I'm confused from it!"

Jeff twisted onto his back and kneed Nick in the ribs, and the dark-haired boy smashed his hands onto the blonde's wrists, pinning them above his head and straddling his waist.

In the position they were in, neither was able to throw a punch or make a move. Their breathing came out in harsh panting exhales, eyes still dangerously mad, bodies both shaking with anger. Nick tightened his grip on Jeff's wrists, seeing the blonde's face scrunch up in a wince of pain, his shoulders trying to curl in.

Nick felt a bead of sweat roll down his forehead and saw it drip down onto Jeff's red neck from where he was bending over him, hot and angry and pulsing with adrenalin and blood.

He surged down to the blonde, tilting his face to force their lips together in an urgent, shaky kiss.

That was it.

Nick felt Jeff arch his back up into the touch, and begin responding, but he pulled away, stumbling off of the blonde and up onto his feet, his eyes wider than he knew they could be.

"I…"

Jeff was still panting, his arms still lying carelessly above his head from where they had been pinned down, his mouth red and wet. His dark eyes were staring so intently into Nick's that the dark-haired boy had nothing to say. The blonde finally calmed slightly, blinking a few times, his expression flickering something of relief and a little something smug, his eyes falling to be half-open.

"I, um," Nick tried again, feeling the heat creep onto his neck and cheeks. This meant a lot. This was something. He hadn't seen this coming from himself, and that made it all the more confusing and difficult to try to comprehend.

"You need to go to your session," Jeff breathed out, his voice low and soft, and Nick nodded for a good ten seconds before gesturing awkwardly to the door.

"I should, um… But," he motioned to the space between them slowly, and Jeff just stared at him, the calm, mild expression still in place.

"I'll be here when you get back."

With that, the dark-haired boy nodded jerkily and hesitantly fled the cabin, leaving Jeff still lying limply on the floor, his heart thumping madly in his chest and his head spinning. As he was left alone, he felt as though cold air hit him from every angle. Goosebumps broke out across his skin and he inhaled deeply, realization hitting him.

He let a smile spread across his face.

Jeff thought back to that time they were ten and they were walking home after school. When they missed the bus. The day it was raining.

* * *

><p><em>"Crap! I'm getting my library book all wet!" <em>

_Nick rolled his eyes at Jeff's comment and tugged his arm, pulling them to a covered bus stop, both of them dripping and miserable._

_"Maybe we should just stay here and catch the town bus," Nick suggested, watching as Jeff pulled out the contents of his backpack, frowning at the soggy edges._

_"Okay," he replied softly, placing everything back in its place. He turned to Nick expectantly, staring at him with dark eyes._

_Nick stood, looking to the bus schedule and bringing his finger up to drag over the numbers. "One doesn't come for another 35 minutes…"_

_"But it would take longer to walk home, anyway. Let's just stay here," Jeff reasoned, and Nick sat down next to him, both of them sighing after running and exerting so much energy._

_They sat in comfortable silence for a bit before Nick spoke. "Jeff…"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"You never kissed anyone before, right?"_

_Jeff almost laughed, looking at his friend incredulously. "No. Who would I have kissed?"_

_"I don't know…" The dark-haired boy paused, sweeping his hand through his wet hair. "Are you nervous about kissing someone for the first time? Like, I think I'll suck at it."_

_The blonde blinked, then shook his head, shrugging. "I doubt it. Besides, you have to do it the first time before you're good at it, you know?"_

_"Yeah… You know Wendy told me that Allison and Cassandra practiced kissing together?"_

_Jeff raised an eyebrow. "Why? Are they, like, gay?"_

_"No. They just wanted to practice. I guess a lot of girls do it. So that when it's someone that matters, they'll be good at it already."_

_The other boy just nodded slowly, seeing Nick's expression. "Hmmm…"_

_After a moment of silence, Nick turned to Jeff sharply. "Come on. We should do it. Just because I'll be a total idiot if I don't kiss anyone before I date a girl or something."_

_Jeff didn't say anything, just nodded once, and before he could even think, Nick's mouth was on his. His ears suddenly were drumming with his heartbeat, and the rain crashing down made everything else seemed muffled and quiet and slow._

_Nick pulled away and looked at Jeff, whose eyes were still closed. Finally, he opened them, making them wide and not saying anything._

_"Now with, like, tongue," Nick told him, nodding. At Jeff's wary expression, he mumbled an explanation. "It's French kissing. Making out is French kissing."_

_They brought their lips back together and very carefully, Jeff slipped his tongue past the other boy's lips, meeting Nick's. They pressed them against each other and slid them wetly together for a couple minutes before pulling away._

_"That was good," was what flew out of Jeff's mouth the second they were apart. His cheeks burned. "I think we're fine. You don't need to be worried about kissing a girl or anything."_

_"You, too…"_

* * *

><p>"Nick," Jeff whispered to the dark-haired boy, from where he was, pressed on top of him, lying on his bottom bunk in the cabin, their bodies together and their lips centimeters apart.<p>

"Hm?"

"That time when we were ten… That's the only time I ever kissed anyone. Other than at that party in January…and today… You're the only person I've ever kissed…"

They kissed again. It lasted a while before one of them pulled away.

"Where did this come from? Was it always like this? Since back then, even…?" Jeff asked him, his breath quiet and airy.

Nick closed his eyes, shaking his head. "N-no… I… I don't know about back then, I just wanted to do it, but… I didn't think I was gay, _ever_. Well, until…"

Jeff let him pause and think, knowing how significant this was.

"I didn't even ever consider it. That I was gay… I just grew up and dated girls. I find them…_attractive_ enough. I've never really been attracted to a guy before," he trailed off, and ran a hand down Jeff's back, "you." He paused again. "But maybe I wasn't looking…? I don't know… I just…_realized_ this whole thing was me being upset that you…loved me…and you were trying to forget it. You _hated_ that you loved me… I didn't get it at first, but…I _loved_ that you love me. I didn't understand why, but I do now…"

The blonde watched him think, his voice coming out quiet. "Do you love me, Nick?"

He trained his eyes up to meet Jeff's, realizing how easy of a question it was. How had he ever thought anything else? If he had been able to look at his beautiful friend with his shaggy blonde fringe and long body before, and see him in the right light—in the _romantic light_, the answer would have been so clear. He'd wasted time, hadn't he? "Of course. Of course I love you…"

Jeff buried his face into the other boy's neck, breathing in.

Nick didn't know what to make of it all.

He'd slept with girls.

He'd _enjoyed_ sleeping with girls, but…

This. _This_. Was so much more. Love.

Had he been in love with Jeff for so long that he didn't even know that's what it was? He'd always thought friendship was what they had, but could it have been something more from the start or had it turned into this?

Sex had always been a way to get off, that was obvious enough. But he'd been with girls, he'd never been _with_ a girl. Not for more than one time around.

Maybe when it came down to it, it wasn't so much about who he could sleep with or who he had slept with, but about love. Maybe he hadn't noticed other guys because the only one he needed had been there the whole fucking time.

Jeff pressed a very soft kiss to his collarbone, making Nick's mouth fall open in a silent moan.

Besides, if this felt _this _good and he _wanted_ it, what were labels, anyway? He didn't need to figure it out; he could be with whoever he wanted to be with. And he was pretty certain he knew who that person was.

"I want you," Nick breathed into Jeff's hair, his eyes falling shut and voice coming out in a tremble.

And like all those years ago when they were ten, all Jeff did was nod his head just slightly.

They undressed each other quickly, pressing hot kisses everywhere they went. When it got down to the end, the last step before actually moving towards sex, Nick panted against Jeff's mouth, "I can tell I love you because it's so different than with anyone else."

"H-_how_?"

"…Like the girls I was with were just…things I used to—_get_ _off_… With you I feel like we're both…equal parts of…_us_."

It was the first time he'd ever wanted to connect with another person through sex.

And he realized immediately that it wasn't anything like all the times he'd slept with girls.

It was deep, intimate, _longing_, _craving_. He didn't just lust and do what he thought he should do.

He _knew_. He _felt_ what he _needed_ from the other man he was becoming part of.

Maybe it was the sheer clarity and real need and connection of the situation that Nick found himself moaning out, "_I want you in me_," into the blonde's chest, without thinking twice about it.

It was just what was _right_ for him. He figured if he wasn't supposed to be in this situation, _nothing_ would have felt right. And he perhaps hadn't known what was right for him before due to the fact that he never tried to figure it out. Following what you assume you need is easy enough, but searching for what you actually need takes time.

Jeff slipped into him, gently and slowly, wet and prepared, maybe nervous, and if _this_ was _sex_, Nick didn't know what he'd been doing for the past two years.

They fell against each other and could hear and feel one another's hearts beating, and at maybe some point they had fallen so in love with each other as friends—as best friends—that they really never stopped falling. At maybe some point, they needed more. And this was it.

It wasn't strange or awkward.

It was the most natural, most simple thing either of them had ever done.

When they had completely spent themselves, rocking against each other and letting out blissful noises, Nick curled himself into Jeff's chest, face to face, feeling their sweat and other fluids cooling and sticking them together and it was perfect.

Perhaps he'd lost his best friend there for a while, to confusion and hurt, but coming back now, he'd gotten so much more than he had ever even acknowledged to himself that he wanted.

"Jeff," he breathed, his eyes falling shut at the mere intensity of how familiar the boy smelled on his inhale.

"Yeah…?"

"…You _have_ gotten taller."

* * *

><p>Thad stretched his arms over his head, letting out a sigh. "Hey, wait for me while I go change my pants."<p>

"Thad pissed himself!"

"It's _water_, shithead," the dark-haired boy rolled his eyes at Wes before opening the cabin door, stopping dead in his tracks, blinking rapidly.

Nick and Jeff were sleeping hard on his bed, a thin blanket hardly covering any of Jeff, none of Nick, though it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before, being friends with the two since the end of freshman year. He took in the scene, easily putting two and two together. _Two_ being the lack of clothes and cuddling, and _two_ being the smell of sweat and sex in the room. Thad couldn't say he was _surprised_ they fucked. He practically planned it. Counted on it…

Except… Wait—

"_Assholes_!" He yelled, followed by a deep growl.

They both shot awake, fumbling for the blanket and utterly delirious and confused. "I—crap!" Jeff murmured, his face heating up and flooding with color as he tried to blink his eyes awake.

"Thad, um—"

"_On my __bed__…? __Really__?_" His voice was deadly.

Nick looked at said mattress. "W-what? No—this is my—oh. _Oh_," he picked up the pillow Thad had brought with him from under his back and grimaced at the sweat or _something_ on it. "Er—Fuck. Sorry…"

Thad slapped a hand over his face. "You two _fuck_ and I can't even celebrate it! Me! It's always _me_! What the hell did I do to you all?"

Nick and Jeff just exchanged an unsure glance as Thad continued mumbling to himself while changing out of his pants which seemed to have a wet stain of some kind on the front. He turned and left the cabin without another word in their direction.

"…Woops," Jeff tried, shrugging and grimacing, looking around the room, his eyes finding the bottoms Thad had changed out of. Nick caught his gaze and followed it, staring at the article of clothing, raising an eyebrow curiously.

"Did Thad piss himself…?"

* * *

><p>"Kurt?"<p>

The pale boy smiled lightly as he accepted the bottle, sitting up from where he'd had his head in Blaine's lap to take a small drink. His face twisted from the taste, but he blinked it away and gave the tequila to Blaine.

"You don't think they'll smell the campfire?"

David shrugged, dusting some remaining powdered sugar from his shoulders still present from his and Wes's prank they had carried out a few hours before. "Nah… We've done this before. Besides, it's the last day of camp and we're leaving in the morning. What are they gonna do, send us back now? It'll be fine."

The lot of eight surrounded the campfire in the middle of night, the smoke rising in clouds from the crackling flames. They passed around a bottle of cheap liquor, two packs of cigarettes already shared between the four that smoked.

Jeff drew in a hit from his smoke, blowing it away from Nick's face from where the dark-haired boy was sitting between his legs on the log they were on. The blonde tightened his arms around his chest, earning a small smile to spread across Nick's lips.

Blaine watched the two for a moment before passing over the bottle to Nick, his eyes lingering as he sucked in from his cigarette. He turned to the group as a whole as Kurt's head returned to his lap. "Did you guys ever think you'd be like this?"

He could see from Thad's expression that he considered making a sarcastic remark, but instead brought his smoke to his lips.

"Like, when you were sent to Dalton, did you ever think you'd have awesome friends that you hung with all the time?"

"No," Kurt murmured, looking up into his boyfriends eyes with a slight frown. "I honestly had no idea what to expect of the other students, but…it wasn't this. This is…friendship…"

Thad looked thoughtful. "I was there before any of you guys," he paused, scanning over their faces. "I hung with my roommate kind of, but well, obviously that didn't last too long… Not too long after Andrew, um, died, Trent came along," he made eye contact with the other boy, sharing some kind of look none of the others would probably understand.

Kurt furrowed his eyebrows at the information. He'd have to ask Thad about this Andrew guy. He'd never heard of Thad's roommate history.

"It kind of just started then, huh?" Trent mused, taking a swig from the bottle. "Like, David came, then Wes, and for a while it was us four, and we just totally hung out constantly like we do now. Same for when the rest of you showed up. It was, like…"

"_Immediate_," David supplied, shrugging, his large grin showing. "Nothing like making friends before Dalton, or any other time. It was like family that you were already permanently connected to…"

Blaine thought back to talking with Finn and Rachel at the hospital when they were waiting for Kurt to recover. He remembered how Finn had described their friends at McKinley as family and how he felt the same about his friends at Dalton. The only difference was that the kids in Lima had real families to go back to at the end of the day.

The reason the Dalton kids were so closely bound was because it was literally the only thing like family they had.

Blaine was grateful for it.

"We really are like a family," Nick laughed, sounding like the few swigs of tequila he had were kicking in, his cheeks red.

Wes raised an eyebrow. "I hope you don't mean, like, brothers. Because if that was the case, we'd have way too much incest for my taste."

Nick smiled at the joke as Jeff squeezed him from behind. He glanced briefly at Kurt and Blaine, seeing them smiling with amusement at each other.

"No, not _brothers_," Nick smiled, tangling his fingers around Jeff's where they were wound around his chest. "But still like, a proper loving family and that shit. Like the kind that none of us—well. _Most _of us don't have back home."

Wes smirked, but it was clear he was getting slightly emotional at the boy's words, as were the rest. "…You _love_ us, Nick?"

It was in teasing, but the dark-haired boy shrugged, looking around him, his eyes searching the faces of the boys that saved him. The wind blew loudly for a moment and then died, leaving the surrounding air quiet and calm. He felt so far from being alone. "_Yeah_. Yeah, I love you guys."

"I love you guys, too," Kurt said quietly from Blaine's lap, his lips quirking up at the corners.

Wes raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Thad, whose face was serious and soft. The Asian boy blinked, sighing, "Yeah, okay. I love you guys. I really do."

The sentiment was shared throughout the group, each confessing their love for each other. The words were so obvious, even if not said out loud before, but it was something different, telling it to each other like this, beneath the moon and stars and the only real light to see being the flickering fire casting bouncing illumination across each of their faces. They each individually realized that it was surreal, having something so precious to hold on to.

* * *

><p>The bus ride back to Dalton was far less stressful and the boys felt almost sedated. They bumped and bounced along the road, the low grumble of the engine and driving being tuned out in favor of relaxation.<p>

Kurt sighed, leaning his against his boyfriend's shoulder, staring a few places ahead at Jeff and Nick, blissfully asleep against each other, faces tranquil and peaceful in slumber. "I'm glad they're okay," Blaine's voice sounded suddenly, and Kurt pulled away slowly to look into his eyes.

"Did you think they wouldn't be…? Have they fought before?"

Blaine looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged, shaking his head slightly. "Not really."

Kurt blinked. "Wait. Which question were you answering?"

"Both," he smiled.

They both turned back to the boys, smiling fondly almost akin to a proud set of parents looking at their children.

There hadn't been a single comment made about the two boys getting together; not to their faces, at least.

The group of eight knew they never kept out of each other's business, but if they were anything, it was accepting. Thad had stormed out of the cabin after seeing the two unclothed boys, disturbed, and told them what he'd seen, so when Nick and Jeff joined them at dinner that night, seemingly done fighting, hand in hand with a couple new hickeys and clinging to each other, nothing was said.

It didn't help that the rest of the group had been speculating about the nature of their relationship from the beginning.

In the end, they seemed to end up together and it was beautiful. That was all they made of it.

Blaine bent down to where his bag lay at his feet and dug through it, yanking out his cell phone and beginning to power it up.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked him curiously, letting out a yawn afterwards.

"I want to ask Trent something," he answered absently, watching the phone light up. The other teen had been placed on the second bus along with Thad.

Blaine hadn't had his phone on all week. He hadn't really needed to. His eyebrows furrowed together as he scanned his screen, pressing a couple buttons and holding the device up to his ear. He listened for a few moments, and Kurt took notice, watching him with concern as the curly-haired boy's face continued to look confused and twisted as he listened.

Finally, Blaine put the phone down into his lap, just staring blankly at nothing in front of him, his face implying his mind was racing a mile a minute in thought.

"What was that? Was that your voicemail?"

Blaine nodded slowly, blinking his eyes a few times. "I got a message…" He paused, mouthing a few words before speaking again. He turned to Kurt, his eyes intense. "It was from my brother."


End file.
